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They're not too young to talk about race!

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They're not too young to talk about race!

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Children are not too young to talk about race.  This chart from ages 0 - 5+, shows how children notice and think about race.  As early as 3 months, babies look more at faces which match the race of their caregivers.

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13 Children’s Books About Race and Diversity

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13 Children’s Books About Race and Diversity

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You may also be considering the use of books to help connect with your child(ren) and spark conversations. Sharing stories is a wonderful way to help children learn more about themselves and the world around them.

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13 Children's Books About Race and Diversity | Parenting Tips & Advice | PBS KIDS for Parents

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To encourage conversations about race and diversity with your children, check out this list of children's books to read together as a family.

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How to Use Children’s Books to Talk About Race and Racism

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How to Use Children’s Books to Talk About Race and Racism

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How to Use Children's Books to Talk About Race and Racism | Parenting Tips & Advice | PBS KIDS for Parents

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​Storytime opens up new worlds for our children. Here are seven ways Dr. Aisha White recommends using picture books (with questions and conversation starters!) to talk about race and racism.

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What do young children understand about their identity? How can parents help them construct a positive self-identity? Read on for tips and tools.

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When my daughter was 3, she was sure that only boys could be garbage collectors. As much as I argued that she, too, could hang onto the back of the big truck as it rolled down our street each week, she wouldn't budge. She believed-with every bit of her 3-year-old heart and mind-that this was a job for boys. This puzzled me until I realized that these "rules" were part of the process of forming identity, which begins in toddlerhood.

Self-Identity
One of the first steps toward developing a self-identity comes at about 18 months when toddlers are able to first recognize themselves in a mirror. Another milestone you might notice is your child referring to herself in the third person, "Erin doesn't want a nap!" Understanding that they are their own, separate person also means that toddlers begin using their favorite pronouns: "me," "my," and "mine." (So while these moments of self-declared ownership are not always easy, the upside is that your toddler definitely knows who he is!)

Gender Identity
By about age 2-2 ½, children have begun to internalize messages about gender and begin to identify as a boy or a girl. They may have strict rules (and even take great pride) about what they wear or do to be consistent with their emerging gender identity. (You'll see these "rules" soften over time as children who are exposed to various toys and experiences will naturally gravitate to those they find most interesting.) As children approach age three, they start to notice the gender of others. This is the moment when you'll hear every parent's favorite question in the deli line at the supermarket, "IS THAT PERSON A BOY OR A GIRL?"

Racial Identity
Racial identity is also emerging during the second year. Children first learn that their skin color makes a difference by seeing and experiencing "how they are treated, and how they are 'like' others with the same skin color." Between ages 3 and 4, children are able to identify and match people according to physical characteristics like race, but are still unclear about whether these characteristics are permanent ("will I always have my skin color?"). This is also when children first begin to absorb and respond to stereotypes (racial, gender, and other). Through daily life in their communities, children are exposed to many messages about whether people with their skin color are perceived as valued, respected, and powerful. Parents can help their children build a positive sense of self by affirming their strengths and abilities, and by sharing family stories, values, and traditions. Racial and ethnic identify can also be nurtured through books, toys, play, and cultural experiences.

Using Stories to Nurture Identity
Sharing stories is a great way to help children learn more about themselves and the world around them. As you check out the booklist below, use these books as a jumping off point for what will be a lifetime of conversations about who your child is-and who you are as a family. Here are six tips for rich conversations, starting early.

1. Make connections between the story and your child's life. If you're reading I Love My Hair! (see below), you can talk about your daily routine of combing hair, how you are helping your child, and how your mother helped you.

2. Choose stories with diverse characters. Research shows that the majority of children's books with human characters feature white children and families ( one review found that only 3% of children's books featured African-American characters with other races/ethnicities represented even more rarely). Offering a diverse outlook on the world through stories gives children of color the chance to see themselves in books-and for all children, is a powerful way of challenging racial stereotypes from the start. Use the Diverse Book Finder to discover new gems.

3. Give your child a chance to share his perspective. As you read Julián Is a Mermaid, you will discover the main character loves everything about mermaids. You can help children begin to understand that there are many ways to express themselves: Julián likes mermaids. Do you like mermaids? What else do you like?

4. As you share stories, focus on what's the same, not just what's different. When we share a story about a family or culture that's different from ours, it's natural to focus on what's new and interesting. But it's equally important to help children notice what's the same across cultures and communities-all families love one another, all children like to play, etc.

5. Give your child a chance to predict what will happen next, or what they would do in the story. Younger toddlers (3 - 3 ½ ) are starting to make predictions from the pictures in their storybooks. When you turn to a new page, you can ask your child: "Look at the pictures...what do you think is going to happen?" By the time children are 4-5 years old, they can understand the dilemma in the story and imagine their own response.

6. Make the connection to your family values and beliefs. Children's books present many opportunities to talk about the kind of person you want your child to be and what qualities you and your family value. Notice and point out these elements in the stories you read together. But most importantly, live them in the interactions you share with your child. Offering children access to a supportive, diverse community is the best way to model inclusiveness.

While my daughter didn't end up a garbage collector, she did develop a more fluid sense of what her career options might be. She's now rocking pre-calculus and AP chemistry, and hopes to be an engineer one day-a field that a few decades ago was also "just for boys." May she, and all our children, follow the path to becoming their best selves.

A (Not Exclusive) Booklist for Nurturing Identity
This article was originally published for PBS Parents.

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When my daughter was 3, she was sure that only boys could be garbage collectors. As much as I argued that she, too, could hang onto the back of the big truck as it rolled down our street each week, she wouldn't budge.

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What is “The Talk” White parents should have with White children?

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What is “The Talk” White parents should have with White children?

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by Madeleine Rogin

If you are a White parent of a White child, and you are having some aha moments about the extent, depth, and prevalence of racism in our country, or you've had this awareness for some time but are having a different kind of aha moment (i.e., reckoning with your own participation in this system, your own privilege, and a true desire to do something about it), talk to your children. Not about equality in general, or the importance of standing up for what is right, or the history of civil unrest in our country, or the greatness of Dr. King, but about White supremacy, systemic racism, and Whiteness.

This is not a talk about kindness in general, or the beauty of diversity, or how we can celebrate our differences, though those talks are also important. The talk I am speaking of is much harder for White parents to have. It is the truth about bias and racism and how we all have it.

Several years ago, I surveyed White parents of White children at the elementary school where I teach, and had in depth conversations with about a dozen of those surveyed, about how they approach the topic of race and racism with their children. Having taught at the school for almost a decade, I'd noticed some disturbing patterns in my kindergarten classroom. White students singled out Black students during conversations about the Civil Rights Movement, saying things like, "you mean he wouldn't be able to go to my school?" when what I wanted them to say was something like, "we wouldn't be in school together," which would have demonstrated an understanding that racism affects all of us, not just the Black students in the room. In addition, White students didn't seem to know anything about race, or where their skin color came from. I heard disturbing things like, "dark skin is burnt skin," or, about students of color in the room, "they look the exact same."

Young children are busy sorting their environment, putting "like" with "like," and we encourage them to do this every time we ask them to organize their toys, or, at school, find all the circles in the bin of shapes. When they do this with each other, we often become uncomfortable and want to silence them. The thing is, when we shush a child for noticing a racial difference, or when they say something misguided or biased, they don't stop noticing or forming biases, they just learn to keep these observations and ideas to themselves. This would be one thing if we lived in a world where everyone was treated equally, but we don't. Young children receive messages from the media, from the books on their bookshelves, from what kinds of toys and dolls they play with, from who lives in their community, goes to their school, from who their friends are, and who their parent's friends are, all the time, about race. These messages, as Beverly Daniels Tatum explains in her book Why do all the Black Kids Sit Together in the Cafeteria?, are full of biases about people of color. For example, if a White child only ever sees White people in positions of authority and power in her life, and only has White friends, as do her parents, and mainly reads books that feature White protagonists, and only ever hears stories of success about White people, she may very well begin to think that only White people can achieve.

We must actively work against these biases in order to help our children understand their role in fighting against racism. We cannot sit back, and hope that they will absorb this learning because we have taught them how to be nice, kind, inclusive people. There is a difference between being nice and being anti-racist, and, in fact, the two don't often match.

We must actively work against these biases in order to help our children understand their role in fighting against racism. We cannot sit back, and hope that they will absorb this learning because we have taught them how to be nice, kind, inclusive people. There is a difference between being nice and being anti-racist, and, in fact, the two don't often match. Often, being anti-racist is about speaking up against norms that are a part of White culture in this country, which is about being "polite" and "civil." Often, being anti-racist means calling out something a colleague, friend, or family member said, or did, knowing that this could sever the work relationship, the friendship, or the family tie.

How do we begin? I learned in my conversations that we often wait for our children to ask the question, or to be at an age we have deemed appropriate to learn these hard truths. The age is different for everyone, because it is based more on our discomfort with the topic then with their developmental readiness to hear it. By the time White children ask the question, or are "old enough," they've already formed biases that are much harder to undo once they've taken hold. For example, a White student told me once that the reason women wear hair coverings is because they have dirty hair. Or, another White student said, in a discussion about where he saw people who weren't White, that Black people are homeless.

What if these White children had learned, before they entered my classroom, the truth about systemic racism? What if they had learned that we all have biases, because we are in a country that was founded on these biases as much as on anything else? What if they had learned to be critical of the ideas they would form about people of color, and to always check in with a trusted adult if they were making generalizations? What if they had been taught that, as a White child in America, they had a responsibility to actively work against racism, which means being an ally, standing up for others, and, also, being aware that our country was founded on an extremely unfair principle, that simply being born with White skin afforded you privileges, such as the right to freedom, that Black and Brown people did not receive, simply because of the skin color they were born with?

I quickly learned ... that in order for us to have truly inclusive, productive conversations, my White students needed a foundational understanding of race and skin color, and what it means to be White, in order to prevent them from singling out students of color, as if they were the only ones in the room with a race.

Many White parents fear this talk will create divisions. I understand that fear. As a White teacher, I had it for a long time. I worried that once my students were allowed to talk openly about all the differences around them, we would get to some brink of division from which we wouldn't be able to return. I worried that by teaching them about racism they would look at each other in a new, distrustful light. In fact, the opposite happened. The students were outraged about any topic of injustice, which five and six year olds often are, and always wanted to work together to solve problems, especially problems that affected them. I quickly learned, though, that in order for us to have truly inclusive, productive conversations, my White students needed a foundational understanding of race and skin color, and what it means to be White, in order to prevent them from singling out students of color, as if they were the only ones in the room with a race.

I suggest starting with the facts. This is true even if you are talking with older children. If your older child were struggling with advanced algebra, you'd return to some basic math concepts to make sure she had the foundational understanding first. You can apply this same reasoning to the talk about racism.

1. Make sure your child knows that skin color comes from melanin, the sun, and where someone's ancestors are from.

Knowing the facts can prevent children from making up their own, misguided explanations, that often are riddled with biases.

2. Talk about what skin color is, and what it isn't.

Emphasize that you can't tell by looking at someone whether they are smart, dumb, good/bad at sports, kind or mean. You need to get to know someone in order to learn all of that. This is different from saying, "what's on the outside doesn't matter." What's on the outside very much does matter, and always has in our country. (See #3)

3. Talk about racism, and how skin color differences have been used to set up unfair systems.

Use examples children can relate to, such as who was allowed to go to school, own a home, and vote, rather than speaking in generalizations such as "have freedoms." Connect history to the present. Emphasize that these unfair systems continue today. Give concrete examples, such as the impact of redlining, unequal schools, continued segregation. Critically examine your own neighborhood, with your child, to discover how many non-White people live on your block, and talk together about why that is, again connecting the present to the past. Point out Whiteness in other places, too, such as where you shop for food, or at community gatherings. This is one way to break the idea that Whiteness is the norm, which results in White kindergarten students not knowing they have a race. The first step to working against White supremacy is to name it first, and I don't mean just in its most extreme violent forms, like the KKK, I mean in its more insidious, quiet places. Places like neighborhoods and schools that perpetuate an unequal system because, as Tiffanie Drayton wrote in her NY Times piece recently, "I Am a Black American refugee. I had to leave the United States to find freedom," in our country, ideas around "good" and "bad" schools are often coded ways of saying White and Black schools. Talk to your child about this example of racism. What would it take for Black schools to be "good" schools? Why do White schools get to be the "good" schools?

4. Find examples of people, of all races, who fought and fight against racism.

Share historical examples such as abolitionists and freedom fighters, and present examples such as Black Lives Matter activists, community organizers, people in your family or neighborhood who are taking actions. It's important for White children to learn about White anti-racists so that they have models, and so that they don't become ridden with guilt or shame, which is another reason some of the White parents I spoke with didn't want to start talking. They didn't feel they had anything to offer, because of their own feelings of guilt. If White children learn how to be anti-racist, and see other White people doing it, and hear you committing to it, they may not be burdened with this kind of guilt. Instead, they may get right to the work of solving problems, which children often want to be a part of.

5. Commit to breaking silences, proactively, even when it's uncomfortable.

Commit to it with your children, with your colleagues, with your friends, and family. Pay attention to what your White community is saying, and not saying, and, when you get that feeling in your gut that tells you to say something, to point out racism when you see it, listen to yourself, take action, speak out. Be willing to risk your comfort, which, in the big scheme of racism, is not at at all too much to ask. Many Black parents have their own version of "The Talk" with their children, which involves preparing their children to be victims of bias and racism, and how to protect themselves so they are not harmed psychologically and physically. It's one thing to be worried about losing a friend, or being unpopular with a crowd, and it is another thing entirely to be worried about losing your life.

The most common reason White parents gave for not talking to their children about race was a sense of incompetency, or not having the right words. The majority of the White parents I interviewed said they had never or hardly ever talked about race as a child with their parents. Now is the time to break this pattern of silence. What if having our version of "The Talk" with our children lessens the need for Black parents to have their version of "The Talk" with theirs?

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What is "The Talk" White parents should have with White children?

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This is not a talk about kindness in general, or the beauty of diversity, or how we can celebrate our differences, though those talks are also important. The talk I am speaking of is much harder for White parents to have. It is the truth about bias and racism and how we all have it.

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Racism and Violence: Using Your Power as a Parent to Support Children Aged Two to Five

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Racism and Violence: Using Your Power as a Parent to Support Children Aged Two to Five

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This article from Zero to Three shares guidelines for talking about racism and violence in age-appropriate ways with children ages 2 - 5 years of age

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Television and radio news, social media and neighborhood conversations are sometimes dominated by violence and conflict stemming from racism. Many adults across our nation continue to try to make sense what is happening in our world today, and parents face the added struggle of thinking through how to talk about racism and violence with children. These stories, and adults' reactions to them, are being seen and felt by children, including babies and toddlers. While we hope that they don't know what's going on, even young babies pick up on and react to the emotions of those they depend on.

This resource provides thoughts and guidelines for talking about these complex issues of racism and equity in age-appropriate ways with children aged two to five years of age. These are difficult and uncomfortable discussions for which there is no recipe. You will know how to adapt these ideas in a way that reflects your unique situation and the individual needs of your child. You might also find it helpful to seek input from your family and trusted sources like religious and other community leaders.

Guidelines for Talking about Racism and Violence

1) Limit access to media images and discussions about frightening events. Young children are taking in everything they see and hear, and are working to understand what it all means. They are careful observers, closely attuned to and affected by the events happening around them. But, between ages two and five, children lack the reasoning skills to make sense of complex issues. Parents have an important role in helping young children understand, manage and process what they have seen and feel. By limiting your child's access to screens and keeping her away from adult conversations (including your own very natural worries about your child's safety), you can protect her from scary events that she has no way of understanding yet.

2) Stay calm when answering, as hard as that may be. This can lessen children's fear and help them to feel safe. There will naturally be times when you just can't be totally calm. If you are upset, you can explain in simple language why: "I'm crying because I see that man is hurt. I feel so sad for him and his family. I'm sad and that's why I'm crying."

Children are very sensitive and know when there are topics mommy or daddy don't want to discuss. Even babies as young as 3-5 months old can sense if you are upset or sad! So, as much as you can, try not to expose young children (even babies) to your anxiety.

3) Answer your child's questions using simple language that they understand. Let your child know that he can come to you with any questions he has and that you are not afraid of talking about difficult issues. This makes it more likely children will turn to you as a resource, and not struggle alone with their questions.

If children ask questions about events they have seen or heard adults talk about, parents can provide short answers responding to the child's specific question. For example, a child might ask: "Why is he hitting that man?" You can answer: "He is afraid of him and angry, and has lost control. He is hurting the man and that is not ok." Then pause and wait to see if your child has another question.

If your child stops asking questions, then stop providing details-even if you haven't fully explained the situation. Children decide what and how much they can take in at a given time.

Following your child's lead is a good strategy since it gives you information about what your child is thinking about, worried about, and what he is trying to understand.

4) Tailor how you talk with your child based on his age and stage of development. When young children witness events that involve people that "look like me", these events command great attention and are meaningful to young children. It is natural for them to have questions. Depending on what your child asks and her level of understanding, she may be ready to talk about differences, equality and racism in simple, age-appropriate ways. For example, between ages four and five, children understand the concept of fairness more than ever before. For preschoolers, this means that discussions about racism can be framed as unfair behavior because people see differences in skin color as better or worse. Explaining this word and idea to your child is a starting point. Sharing storybooks on the topic is a good idea as well.

Ideas for Answering Difficult Questions

Here are some ideas for how to approach challenging and complex topics about racism, safety, and police violence are below-although it's important to modify messages for your individual child's age and stage.

Are police officers good guys or bad guys?
The job of police officers is to protect people. Police officers are just people. And there are some people who are good and kind, and some people who are not. Some police officers are good, helpful men and women. And some are not. But I believe that most police officers want to keep us safe (if you do believe this).

Why are people being mean and hurting others?
These people don't like anyone who is different from them. They only like people who look like them. And they want everyone to think the same way they do. It can feel sad and scary to see them being so mean. I'm glad that so many kind and caring people are saying, "Hey, it's not ok to be mean and hurtful to others."
If your child has seen footage of people being injured and asks about it: Sometimes people get so stressed that they do things they should not do. It is never okay to hurt people because we disagree with them. The person who was hurt has gone to the doctor for help.

What is going to happen?
Many good people are really upset about this. I don't know what is going to happen, but we're together. I love you and I will keep you safe.

Is Daddy safe? Is Mommy safe?
Grown-ups can take care of themselves and keep themselves safe. You don't have to worry. Mommy/Daddy always try to be safe in everything we do. Remember how we always look both ways before we cross the street? That is one way we stay safe. And there are many other ways that grown-ups stay safe too.

Am I safe?
Mommy/Daddy will keep you safe. That is our job. Your job is to be a kid and have fun. We love you and we will keep you safe. There are many people-black people, white people, and kind police officers-who are also working to make sure you are safe.

Police Violence:
Some police officers see an African-American person and think they are going to make trouble because of their skin color. That is wrong and there are many people trying to change that. The job of a police officer is to keep all people safe, no matter what their skin color is.

[If your child is looking for additional information:] Sometimes people get so stressed that they do things they should not do. [Consider giving an example that your child might be able to relate to: Remember how I yelled when I lost my wallet?] That happens to police officers too and sometimes it means they act badly and are too rough and hurt people.

If you don't know the answer to your child's question, that's okay. These are complex issues. It builds your child's trust in you when you are open about not always knowing the answer.

Your child may be upset or confused following these challenging discussions. Watch for these signs and respond with extra support, hugs, and time together so that your child feels secure. Point out positive, supportive members of her community (family members, religious leaders, teachers, home visitors, physicians and others) who also care for and nurture your child. Let children know they have a network of people who are there for them.

How to Help Your Child Respond to Traumatic or Scary Experiences

If your young child is a witness to violence or has seen his/her caregiver in tense or frightening interactions with the police or others, watch for behaviors like:

Increased clinginess, crying, and whining

Greater fear of separation from parents or primary guardian

Increase in aggressive behavior

More withdrawn and harder to engage

Play that acts out scary events

Changes in sleeping and eating patterns

More easily frustrated and harder to comfort

A return to earlier behaviors, like frequent night-time wakings, toileting accidents, or thumb sucking

These are signs that a child is struggling with making sense of a scary or traumatic experience and needs additional support. Reach out to your child's health care provider or to a counselor with experience with young children to plan how to move forward.

What You Can Do

Create an environment of safety and consistency. Children who have been exposed to traumatic images or experiences benefit from an environment that is safe and predictable. Regular daily routines (like at mealtime, bath-time, hair-combing, and bed-time) help children trust and anticipate what will come next. Remember that these routines are as important to babies as they are for older children for feeling safe and secure. Maintaining a child's school or child care attendance is also helpful, since this is a familiar routine that offers a sense of consistency and normalcy. If you can, try to limit changes (like switching preschool/child care providers) during this time. For children having a hard time with transitions, offer a comfort object like a special blanket or stuffed animal, or even a favorite action figure to hold.

Harness the power of positive touch. If your child is having a hard time, offer extra cuddles or add a massage to your child's daily bedtime routine. Deep pressure touch can help some children feel more 'together' and regulated.

Build children up. Point out your child's strengths and abilities. Give him opportunities to experience successes and achievements. Celebrate these milestones together. A strong sense of self and family begins with your child's relationship with you.

Use the daily routine of combing hair to connect with your young child. As a parent you can make this routine a relaxed, predictable time to talk, touch, and listen to your child. Sitting on your lap or snugly between your legs allows your baby or young child to be physically connected to you as you carry out this routine. The soothing and repetitive gentle hair-brushing of a boy or girl communicates warmth, caring, and a sense of security. Allowing your child to participate in the task (choosing bows or the number of braids) also reinforces a sense of control.

Tell the story of your family. Use stories to communicate the strength, resilience, courage, humor, and intelligence of your family members. You can also highlight different themes like safety, courage, and adults providing protection. Storytelling is an ideal way to communicate your values, rich heritage, and traditions, and build a sense of family and cultural identity and pride.

Make time for laughter and fun. Let your child see you laugh out loud while telling a story or going about your daily routines. Laugh together as a family. At the same time, be honest with your emotions. If the current tragedies are triggering memories of your own losses, be mindful of your feelings and seek support for yourself.

Protecting Children While We Work for Social Justice

As our country grapples with the complex issues of race and violence, you have the ability to build a safe haven of love, joy, hope and protection within the relationship you develop with your child. Children dream, children play, and children have hope-because of all you do.

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Racism and Violence: Using Your Power as a Parent to Support Children Aged Two to Five

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Television and radio news, social media and neighborhood conversations are sometimes dominated by violence and conflict stemming from racism. Many adults across our nation continue to try to make sense what is happening in our world today, and parents face the added struggle of thinking through how to talk about racism and violence with children.

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16 ways to help children become thoughtful, informed, and BRAVE about race

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16 ways to help children become thoughtful, informed, and BRAVE about race

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As a parent, you play an important role in shaping how and what your child(ren) learn about race. These articles provide tips on talking to your child(ren) about race.

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Our children receive messages about race all the time - from books, games, movies, television, teachers, family friends and family members, neighbors and neighborhoods, their peers, and from you. They learn from what you say and do, from what you don't say and don't do. They notice patterns around race and gender, among other identities. Which kids get to be the stars in their picture books? Who among their peers is considered beautiful or smart or upstanding? Which children do teachers tend to scold? Who's invited to their home for dinner - and who isn't? Which communities' concerns do we meet with care, attention, and resources? Which groups do what work in the world? Who gets to be president?

As adults in the lives of children, we play a crucial role in shaping how and what they learn about race. Here are some starting points for raising children who can be the thoughtful, informed, and race-brave community members our multiracial democracy needs to thrive.

Start early. The earlier, the better.

1) Understand that children notice difference.

Within months of birth, infants prefer same-race faces. Babies can distinguish skin colors and hair textures. This doesn't mean that they think about race the way adults do or that they're "racist." It means that they have begun to participate in the ongoing conversation about race. Be sure to involve yourself thoughtfully in that conversation!

2) Make space for your child's respectful curiosity.

Let your child know that it's okay to notice skin color and talk about race, whether with respect to toys, characters in books, or in the world. Encourage her to share thoughts, feelings, and experiences by asking questions of her and welcoming her questions. If she makes a negative racial comment, ask, nonjudgmentally, What makes you say that?

3) Read #ownvoices books.

#OwnVoices books feature characters from marginalized groups written by members of those groups. Engaging kids with books that offer diverse and authentic racial and cultural representations and stories sends the message that you value diversity and opens up space to have great discussions about race and difference.

4) Use age-appropriate language.

When talking about big concepts like discrimination, power, and oppression with young children, use language they understand. Even young children have a developed sense of what's "fair" and "not fair." That's a good place to start when talking about racial bias and inequality.

Let your child see you do your own work.

5) Talk about your own feelings.

Whatever your racial or ethnic identity, you may have "big" or complicated feelings about race. Acknowledge that with your child and talk about where your anxiety may be coming from. Sharing your struggle will help free your child to share any discomfort about race she may have. Make the struggle part of the journey.

6) Let your child see you face your own biases.

We're less likely to pass on biases we identify explicitly and work to overcome deliberately. Give your child an example of a bias, racial or otherwise, that you hold or have held. Share with your child things you did or do to confront and overcome that bias.​

7) Acknowledge when you don't have a good answer, but don't leave it there!

You don't have to be an expert to talk with a child about race and related topics. If you don't have a good answer to a question, say, Let me think about that for a while or Good question! Let's find out more about that later, okay? And then do the research!

8) "When you know better, do better." (Maya Angelou)

Don't let your mistakes paralyze you. The point isn't to be perfect; the point is to do better. Learn. Do better. Keep going. Repeat! Do the work - and let your child see you do the work.

Learn about others and about yourself.

9) Choose diversity.

Choose a diverse neighborhood to live in. Choose a diverse school for your child. Be sure the books, toys, and movies in your child's life include some with Black, Indigenous characters and people of color in lead roles. Diversify your circle of friends and help your child diversify his. Helping your child build real relationships with a racially diverse set of children and others will probably take some effort. It's worth it!

10) Learn about and respect others.

Talk about and study the experiences of groups we now call African Americans, Latinos, Asian Americans, Native Americans, and Whites, among others. Be sure your child understands that every racial and ethnic group includes people who believe different things and behave in different ways. There is more diversity within groups than across them.

11) Tell stories of resistance, resilience, and joy.

It's easy to reduce the story of race to one of bias and discrimination. However, race is also a story about joy, family, community, resilience, allyship, grassroots resistance, and laugh-out-loud humor. Be sure that all of these are in the mix of your discussions and explorations about race.

12) Know and love who you are.

Talk about the histories and experiences of the racial, ethnic, and cultural groups you and your family strongly identify with. Talk about their contributions and acknowledge the less flattering parts of those histories as well. Tell stories about the challenges your family - your child's parents, aunts and uncles, grandparents and great grandparents, others - has overcome.

Raise a changemaker.

13) Be honest with your child, in age-appropriate ways, about bigotry and oppression.

Children are amazing at noticing patterns, including racial patterns (who lives in their neighborhood versus their friends' neighborhoods, for example). Help them make sense of those patterns. Bigotry and oppression are sometimes a big part of those explanatory stories. ​

14) Nurture critical race thinking.

Media portrayals of racial groups might be especially influential in shaping the perceptions of children with little direct contact with the people in them. Teach your child to question the narrative offered in books, movies, and on television. Ask: Whose story is this? Whose voice is missing or sidelined? Who gets to be the hero? Who created this story and when?

15) Support your children to take a stand.

Be sure your child knows that the struggle for racial fairness is ongoing and that your family can take part in it. Help her understand what it means to be, and how to be, a change agent. Connect the conversations you have to the change you both want to see, and to ways to bring about that change.​

16) Plan for a marathon, not a sprint.

Make race talks with your child routine. Race is a topic you should plan to revisit again and again in many different ways over time.

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16 ways to help children become thoughtful, informed, and BRAVE about race

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Our children receive messages about race all the time - from books, games, movies, television, teachers, family friends and family members, neighbors and neighborhoods, their peers, and from you. They learn from what you say and do, from what you don't say and don't do. They notice patterns around race and gender, among other identities.

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Anti-Racism: A List of Resources

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Anti-Racism: A List of Resources

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Whether a child is two-years-old or 17-years-old, it is important to answer their questions and spark dialog about anti-racism, diversity, inclusivity and kindness.

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George Floyd's final words struck deep in Lonnae O'Neal's mother's heart. Floyd's call out for his mother made the senior writer at The Undefeated think of "all the side deals we try to cut with our God when Black boys cross streets, or play in parks, or get into cars, or grow into men who do anything at all while being Black."

As adults, many of us have spent the past week heartbroken and glued to our devices for the latest news on demonstrations as we contemplate the murder of George Floyd (and the many Black murders before his), the pervasiveness of police brutality and the intergenerational marks of racism in this country. As many of us reflect and search for the right words and tone to explain to our children what is happening in the world - and how we got here - we are also left with the desire to take action, to do more.

Some families are coping by watching documentaries, reading and perhaps protesting together. One place to start is to learn more and then have honest conversations with your children. Whether a child is 2 years old or 17 years old, it is important to answer their questions and spark dialog about anti-racism, diversity, inclusivity and kindness. According to Thea Monyeé, an artist, healer and licensed marriage and family therapist interviewed by LAist, the time to talk about anti-racism with your children is now. She suggests allowing children to lead the way in conversations, with adults following up with questions.

Below is a list of resources offered by some of our partners in public media and the education space, plus other trusted sources. Some items below are articles or curations offered by institutions and academic experts, while others are collective works by community members. They help us embrace the wealth of knowledge spilling out of formal and informal systems to educate each other toward a more inclusive future.

Exploring Anti-Racism with Children

In a world where combatting systemic racism and raising our little ones to be empathetic adults are top priorities, it only seems fitting that Elmo and news commentator Van Jones would come together to host a Sesame Street/CNN townhall. Stream the entire racism town hall.

The PBS KIDS Learning Kit with Daniel Tiger tackles " Life's Little Lessons." Using videos, activities and letters for families, this lesson helps children value and appreciate ways in which we are alike and ways in which we are different.

"Black Lives Matter. Always and in all ways," said John F. Szabo, the Los Angeles Public Library's city librarian in a statement. The organization has curated a list of Black Lives Matter digital resources from its archives including music, films and essential readings for children, teens and adults (including selections in Spanish) to shine a light on the path to justice and reform.

Another out-of-the classroom example of efforts to educate on anti-racism is the work of Nicole A. Cooke, a professor of library and information science at the University of Southern Carolina, whose work focuses on diversity and social justice in librarianship. In her Padlet board " Anti-Racism Resources for All Ages," she is collecting many videos, books and other general educational resources for both children and adults, plus pieces specifically on how to talk to kids about racism, including this video showing how Black parents must train heir kids to deal with inevitable encounters with the police.

The education staff at WXXI, a public media services company in Rochester, New York pulled together an extensive list of activities from PBS LearningMedia to support educators and families while discussing race. The list explores race, anti-racism, protests, civil rights, Black history, bias, and more.

The Children's and Educational Media team at WNET, the primary public broadcast system in New York City, curated a list of resources for families, educators and students to combat racism. The list of PBS LearningMedia activities is divided into categories for young children and middle and high school students. Articles from WNET's trusted partners include a breakdown of what's developmentally appropriate to discuss according to different age levels.

Broadening Your Understanding as an Adult

LAist early education reporter Mariana Dale explored why " Even Young Children Notice What's Happening In The World Right Now. Here's What You Can Do To Help Them Understand." Read her conversation featuring Thea Monyeé, an artist, healer and licensed marriage and family therapist; Tunette Powell, the director of the UCLA Parent Empowerment Project; and Amber Coleman-Mortley, director of social engagement at iCivics, a nonprofit that promotes civic engagement among children and educators.

The " Anti-Racist Resource Guide " invites you to become a better ally. The guide breaks down important concepts such as implicit bias, structural racism and four key steps to becoming anti-racist (spoiler alert: you are taking one of them by seeking education). Written by Victoria Alexander, a doctorate student at University of Maryland studying anti-racist education, the list also offers practical tips and recommendations on books, videos, articles, podcasts and other media to help you explore racial inequality, white supremacy, police violence and injustice.

Activist and author Brittany Packnett tweeted that activists Sarah Sophie Flicker and Alyssa Klein are "white people who made the effort" by curating the " Anti-Racism Resources for White People " list. It offers books, podcasts and articles specifically for white parents looking to raise anti-racist children.

#LasVidasNegrasImportan is an important hashtag dedicated to promoting the Black Lives Matter movement in Spanish. "Racism is a global topic and is not exclusive to the U.S.," tweeted Gabriela Kovats Sánchez, a professor at San Diego State University, along with a link to her resources document " Recursos antirraciales en español." The compilation of Spanish-language terminology, videos, articles, music, workshops and social media accounts to help spark an anti-racist dialog among Spanish speakers includes videos exploring " the racism that Mexico chooses not to see" and content discussing anti-Black sentiment throughout Latin America.

Supporting Racial Justice as An Educator

The Center for Racial Justice in Education trains and empowers educators to dismantle patterns of racism and injustice in schools and communities, acknowledging it is no easy task. Their " Resources for Talking About Race, Racism and Racialized Violence" piece offers a unique collection of interviews with experts, including insight from a clinical psychologist at Penn Graduate School of Education who suggests a three-step "affection, correction and protection" approach and conversations about race. The list also includes many articles with advice on how to support children of color, what white children need to know about race and examples of things to do, such as staging a living room protest.

Sesame Workshop has developed activity toolkits in the past to help early education teachers tackling difficult conversations. One collection includes activities on resilience, to help kids explore their feelings and help them overcome during tough times. Another guide on worry guides adults in calming children's worry and anxiety with a video, article and interactive activity.

Facing History and Ourselves is a Massachusetts-based organization using history to challenge teachers and their students to stand up to hatred and bigotry. Their teaching guide " Reflecting On George Floyd's Death and Police Violence Towards Black Americans " was created to facilitate conversations about George Floyd's death in spite of distance learning environments. Using self-reflection, preparation, space for emotional processing, historical deep dives, and safe space for discussion, among other tools, the guide offers thorough strategies for addressing this tough topic.

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How to Talk to Your Kids About Anti-Racism: A List of Resources

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George Floyd's final words struck deep in Lonnae O'Neal's mother's heart. Floyd's call out for his mother made the senior writer at The Undefeated think of "all the side deals we try to cut with our God when Black boys cross streets, or play in parks, or get into cars, or grow into men who do anything at all while being Black."