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Troi- I really like that poem it shows raw emotion.

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it created the tension and the heartbreaking nature of the poem -Samantha Sextonson

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I loved the rhyming ! The entire thing worked so well, and it encourages people who are going through anything like that to keep going and keep fighting their demons!

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i love how you started and ended with the bridge

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The blend of rhyme scheme and intensity was very well done

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courtney- i love the rhyming it creates a lot more depth to the poem.

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courtney- i love the rhyming it creates a lot more depth to the poem.

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very descriptive, i would just try and reword the first sentence in the quote so its more clear!

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Troi- this is really good, the way you explain that made me feel like I was watching a show/movie.

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It kind of reminded me of the beginning of Plato's allegory of the cave

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This was really good! It was very vivid and my imagination was flowing when imagining the mural!

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the descriptions are great, and the imagery was very clear 

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the descriptions are great, and the imagery was very clear 

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The setting was very descriptive, and the sweatshirt scene was very clear.

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maybe change the word "knocked" to "clanged" or "jingled" just to increase the sound imagery.

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intro is well written. description is on point and very enjoyable

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intro is well written. description is on point and very enjoyable

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The setting made me feel very uneasy, almost like the main character, very good job

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I love how we learn about the guy but also don't at the same time, it leaves questions that pulls the reader in further in pursuit of learning them.

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I love how you included the type of shirt one of the men is wearing! It will really help you in the future when drawing it to know what you originally envisioned.

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The fact that you mentioned they were armed brought up the amount of tension by one hundred fold

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very suspenseful when they entered the building especially how you described the people who were already inside and their face

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I could see the part when they got out of the van and walked across the street. It reminded me of a spy/action movie

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The image of the darkness and the sunlight brought quite a bit of bright, almost celestial imagery to mind

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You don't even know how much I felt this. It really made me feel heard, thank you. :)

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this resonated with me strongly, i think you should incorporate specific memories in that letter of the sisters together

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The emotion was captivating! I've felt like this before, so the relation was great

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I could really see the tension with the phrases that you used like "miniscule" and "unimportant"

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Troi- I really like this

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The words "pristine", "accentuated", "intricate" kind of set the scene with out needing a setting. Many of those words can be scene as fancy, and many think the Victorian era is fancy

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The words and descriptions make for great build up. I know exactly what these characters are like just from your wording

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The feeling of sophistication and class was really present. It makes me think of all of the pressure that people put on us in society.

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i dont know much about the victorian style but the way you described it sounds so beautiful, also love the line¨ as though their hearts were made of glass¨ i want to know more about the characters personalities!

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I love how the questions are short, but we all know the answers speak so many more words, so it's the questions speak to address a bigger problem, letting the audience answer it. The questions just add more power.

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The deep questions the writer asks to the reader makes it relatable and adds a deeper perspective than we originally expected it to delve into.

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The tension in the letter was amazing and makes me stop and think

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im curious of who this is written to but it seems like theres a lot of emotion and anger

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What Ms. Mustafah said, the ending really threw me for a loop

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thats a really cool concept so i would just suggest trying to clarify that it is the thoughts

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I love the detail of the hyphenated last name. I also love the way you read the story.

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You captured the setting of the subway pretty well, the words like "grimy" really help

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Troi- I love the adjectives and how you go into detail about what's going on.

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I love the dialogue, it seems very natural and flows nicely

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i like the description of how much the character hates the subway it seems very comedic