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"When Unoka died he had taken no title at all and he was heavily in debt. Any wonder then that his son Okonkwo was ashamed of him."

In Umuofia a man's worth and masculinity is based off of his achievements. Unoka, Okonkwo's father, was a man who was a failure to his family and a mockery in his community. His gentleness, laziness, and idleness all led to his son Okonkwo's hatred for and embarrassment of him. From seeng Unoka's treatment by Umoufia's community, Okonkwo heavily agrees with the idea of success being tied to masculinity. Working to be the opposite of his father, he maintains a hostile and closed off attitude as well as works tirelessly to prove his strength. By acting toxically masculine and having the mindset that a man must be strong, work hard, and show no fragility, Okonkwo looses the ability to have the family connections Unoka had. Okonkwo does not know how to be vulnerable or open up. He is walled off from everyone around him, work and success having become his lifes devotion.

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"Unlike his father he could stand the look of blood. In Umuofia's latest war he was the first to bring home human head. That was his fifth head and he was not an old man yet."

Numbness to violence and bloodshed is very important in order to be respected and considered manly. Okonkwo is entirely desensitized and untouched by the horrors he witnesses and participates in.  Although this gives him the upper hand in battle and allows for him to rise in the community, Okonkwo loses his connection to reality. His accomplishments and fears cause him to see others as weak and useless when they actually are not. He beats his effeminate son so he will become more like himself, and looks down upon those in the community who do not meet his standards. The violence Okonkwo partakes in within war and even on a daily basis conditions him to act without considering the repercussions. He no longer can see that there is a reality to his actions and consequences from others and from himself. This eventually leads to Okonkwo into situations with bad after maths, such as: beating his wife during the week of peace, killing Ikefuma when he didn't have to partake in it, and being exiled from Umuofia. Okonkwo is blinded by his achievements and doesn't understand that the violence he has made himself so used to will one day hurt him in return.

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Okonkwo is a man who has not been handed anything on a silver platter. Due to his father being unable to provide for his family, Okonkwo has always taken on the role of being the bread winner. As Okonkwo began working to create a farm and a compound, he had to reach out to his community. In order to gain help and support from others Okonkwo needs to prove his masculinity and that he has the perseverance and strength to become prosperous. By doing this Okonkwo is able to receive what he needs to start up his life, but he also is further removed from reality. It becomes harder to Okonkwo to understand that one does not have to be toxically masculine in order to succeed. He also becomes more unwilling to help those he sees as weak and feminine, further losing his ability to be accepting of those outside of his family.

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"Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly, unless it be the emotion of anger. To show affection was a sign of weakness.- the only thing worth demonstrating was strength."

Okonkwo's shame from his father Unoka causes him to resent anything he had enjoyed. By surpressing all feelings besides anger in order to be seen as strong and manly, Okonkwo and most other men in the community use violence as an outlet to decompress. When Okonkwo is upset the only way he knows how to express himself is through harming others. Doing this may make Okonkwo seem and feel tough, but it causes him to not know how to communicate his emotions in any other form. Unoka may have hated blood and been gentle with his family, but he was able to manage his emotions and treat those close to him with kindness. Okonkwo's fear of weakness and likeness to Unoka ultimately causes him to become distant from his family and emotionally volitile.

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"Okonkwo who had been walking about aimlessly in his compound in surpressed anger suddenly found an outlet....Without further argument Okonkwo gave her a sound beating and left her and her only daughter weeping."

Okonkwo possesses many traits of toxic masculinity including surpressing his emotions, encouraging violence, and perpetuating rape culture. He senselessly hurts his family and is rude to those "beneath" him in order to instill fear and protect his masculinity. In the article 6 Harmful Effects Of Toxic Masculinity By Suzannah Weiss Okonkwo's behavior is explained, "men are more likely to act violent when their masculinity and male privilege are threatened" Okonkwo felt restless and upset by the festivities, and decides to use his power over his family to decompress. Okonkwo makes excuses for why he can hurt his wife and believes that his high standing in the community will allow for him to get away with this violence during the week of peace. Okonkwo loses unity with his family through his abusiveness and belief that they are good for nothing.

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Academics and the public alike have been becoming more aware of the harmful effects of toxic masculinity - the set of standards our society holds for men that end up damaging both their lives and others'. By dictating that men must be strong, have no feelings, and dominate women, Western ideals of masculinity lead men to miss out on aspects of life that should be available to all people, regardless of gender - things like emotional connection and nurturing. And at its worst, toxic masculinity can encourage violence.

To clarify, "masculinity" in this context refers not to men's innate traits, but to the cultural construction of manhood. When we talk about the harmful effects of toxic masculinity, we are not criticizing men, but are calling out the unfair standards imposed upon them. Patriarchy hurts men as well as women - and erases gender-nonconforming people completely - by prescribing roles that both genders are expected to embody. That's not good for anyone.

What, then, would a non-toxic masculinity look like? Since masculinity and femininity don't have any inherent meaning, a healthy masculinity or femininity is one you get to define - or not identify with at all, because it doesn't have to mean anything to you if you don't want it to.

As it stands, though, the cultural construct of masculinity - particularly when it turns toxic - has many problematic and truly damaging consequences. Here are a few of its most harmful effects.

1. The Suppression Of Emotion

Toxic masculinity dictates that the only emotion men can express is anger, which can hinder men from getting in touch with other things they're feeling. Eventually, this can distance men from other people and keep them from developing close relationships with their partners and kids. One study in the Social Psychological and Personality Science even found that suppressing emotions can lead to aggression - a bad start to forming healthy relationships.

2. The Encouragement Of Violence
Siavash Zohoori on YouTube
As masculinity educator Siavash Zohoori points out in the above video, toxic masculinity teaches that violence is the best way for men to prove their strength and power, and it discourages them from releasing their feelings in other ways. Sociologists Tristan Bridges and Tara Leigh Tober point out in Sociological Images that American masculinity in particular depicts guns as a source of power for men. This may help explain why men have been responsible for the great majority of mass shootings in the United States. Bridges and Tober also point out that men are more likely to act violent when their masculinity and male privilege are threatened. Elliot Rodger, who carried out the 2014 shooting in Isla Vista, referenced this type of threat in a video explaining his motives. "I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it," he said, implying that he was denied his rights as a man and had to act violent to reclaim them.

3. The Discouragement Of Seeking Help

According to the American Psychological Association, men are less likely than women to seek help regarding their mental health, which may likely be due to ideals of masculinity. "Try to imagine the Marlboro man in therapy. The image just doesn't compute, does it? The Marlboro man wouldn't admit to needing help," Lea Winerman points out. This ideal of a "tough man" who doesn't struggle with any emotions can force men to withstand untreated mental health problems. This might explain why 25 percent of women but only 15 percent of men take psychiatric medications, according to a Medco Health Solutions study. Men are suffering in silence because toxic masculinity teaches them to be afraid of looking "weak."

4. The Perpetuation Of Rape Culture

College cultures that encourage masculinity, specifically in fraternities, can encourage campus rape culture. "This system of social rules on campus, it is about dominance and hierarchy," Texas Tech University professor Elizabeth Sharp told The Huffington Post. Toxic masculinity teaches men that their identity hinges on their ability to exert dominance over women, and one common way for men to assert their dominance is through sexual assault and harassment.

5. Homophobia

Masculinity has been constructed in contrast with femininity, so whenever a man does something considered a woman's role - like dating a man - he is automatically considered less of a man. Gay slurs like "f*g" are used to put men down for not conforming to masculine ideals. These serve not only to shame men who aren't gay but also to dehumanize gay men. Perhaps toxic masculinity could help explain why twice as many women as men have had same-sex relationships, according to a CDC study. The pressure to be masculine creates a greater stigma around gay men than women.

6. Misogyny

As Tony Porter explains in the above TED Talk, calling boys "girls" as an insult perpetuates the idea that being like a girl is a negative trait. Toxic masculinity teaches us, Porter explains, "that men are in charge, which means women are not; that men lead, and you should just follow and just do what we say; that men are superior and women are inferior; that men are strong and women are weak." In short, by attaching certain characteristics to men and valuing them above qualities associated with women, toxic masculinity encourages a culture that not only puts down men for being "feminine" but also puts down women. At the hands of toxic masculinity, like all aspects of patriarchy, everybody loses.
Images: Pexels

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Academics and the public alike have been becoming more aware of the harmful effects of toxic masculinity - the set of standards our society holds for men that end up damaging both their lives and others'. By dictating that men must be strong, have...

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"No matter how prosperous a man was, if he was unable to rule his women and his children (and especially his women) he was not really a man."

Okonkwo holds the belief that men who cannot control or hold power over their families are not real men. He is unable to see the reality that women are of as much value to Umuofia as the men are. Unity is lost when Okonkwo and the other men forget and disregard that woman raise children, feed everyone in their families, grow and tend to the farms, and keep the household running. Okonkwo has created a large void between himself and femininity out of the fear of not having his masculinity, power, and respect from others. Okonkwo's distance from, power over, and anger towards his family isolates him from them and creates the destructive mindset that they are only objects to do his bidding, not individuals.

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"“When did you become a shivering old woman,” Okonkwo asked himself, “you, who are known in all the nine villages for your valor in war? How can a man who has killed five men in battle fall to pieces because he has added a boy to their number? Okonkwo, you have become a woman indeed."

When Okonkwo kills Ikefuma he begins to suffer the consequences of acting violently without thought. He recoils from his emotions and is angry with himself for having a "female" reaction. From having lived his entire life without blinking when hurting another person Okonkwo is taken aback with himself. He doesn't know how to handle the way he feels, leaving him to sit alone in sorrow for the following days. By having conditioned himself to always show strength through extinguishing his emotions, Okonkwo becomes distant from the reality that it is ok to feel guilt and compassion for the death of someone he cared for.

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In chapter ten the reader takes a small glimpse in Umuofia's justice system. Woman are heavily excluded from the decision making as well as their say in what happened within a conflict. The first sign of women not having a say in the justice system is when it is clarified that women cannot enter the egwugwu house where men discuss how to settle conflicts. Even though women are not allowed to enter they are still responsible for and expected to scrub and paint the outside walls of this house "under the supervision of men". This rule allows men to stay in and demonstrate their power over women, who don't even have the freedom to be watched without supervision. This first issue points out the gap between men, women, and their unity. Because only men have a say in the justice system they immediately cut out a large portion of the community. With men not allowing woman to have a say in what happens the power imbalance only grows more.
Secondly, women do not get to speak from their point of view when the conflict is surrounding them. Instead, as seen in chapter ten, any men involved in the situation speak from their point of views and on her behalf. The men involved in this case both have very different sides of the story. Because the actual victim is not given the opportunity to speak the actual truth of the situation is warped. Men in Umuofia's need to hold all the power unfortunately also creates distance from the truth when it is most crucial to hear it.

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“It was a crime against the earth goddess to kill a clansman, and a man who committed it must flee from the land. The crime was of two kinds, male and female. Okonkwo has committed the female, because it had been inadvertent.”

In Umuofia not only does the justice system exclude women, but it also genders the crimes that people commit. Those who commit female crimes face a less harsh punishment then those who commit male crimes. These crime types are decided by whether or not the action was committed purposefully and on how violent the action was. By gendering the crimes, stereotypes about men and women are reinforced. This encourages the gender roles the community places men and women into as well as distances everyone from reality. Men are expected to only show aggression and display control and women are expected to remain submissive and not have a say in what happens. This goes to show that the community does not realize that there are possibilities outside of what has been put into place.

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Chapter Fourteen - Image and Direct Quote

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Chapter Fourteen - Image and Direct Quote

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"But when there is sorrow and bitterness he finds refuge in his mother land. Your mother is there to protect you. She is buried there. And that is why we say mother is supreme."

Okonkwo's exile from Iguedo for a "female" crime leaves him feeling very contrite. Without his titles, yams, and high ranking nothing seems to matter anymore. He finds difficulty in allowing his spirits to be raised by the nurturing characteristics of his motherland. Uchendu tells Okonkwo that he must not be brought down by sorrow and that his motherland is home now. Okonkwo's shame from the feeling of losing is masculinity disconnects him from the reality that he's in. Okonkwo is emotionally in a world of his own, and because of past emotional suppression does not know how to handle it healthily.