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this is something i would read for fun!! I love it - alisha

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can yall comment on mine pLs heeheh im #desperate thanks bye -imani

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Once the plane landed in Japan, it started to snow. As it was only twelve in the afternoon back in London, and it was nine at night in Japan, everybody was well rested and wide awake. Harriet and Jamie’s eyes were stuck on the white particles slowly and peacefully falling just outside the window. The doors opened and we exited the plane in pure happiness. It was our first time in this part of the world, so everything we smelt, saw, felt and heard was mUcH exCitiNG!!1!1

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truly inspiring... amazed.. in tearn rn - alisha

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I love how relatable it is!! I love it

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BRILL!

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Even your nxt sentence is :)

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Your comparison is almost immediately imaginable:)) I love it<3

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Interesting start...

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I like that you're telling it as a story?

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Such a beautiful ending and a wonderful use of voice. Wonderful job Imani!

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RELATABLE

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Love the humour and sarcasm you've added to your sentences i.e " sushi-filled cute girls with unnaturally large eyes"

@MINHUI

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OoOoOOoOOOo I like the adjectives very descriptive :)

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Amazinggggg!!!!

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FAB!

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nice use of sarcasm

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I love the way you included snarky humour in your extract

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"glued to the couch watching Netflix and binging on snacks" SAME

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Continuing on, amazing Aron, I don't think you should even bother trying to make your sentence better because it's clearly the most perfect thing I've ever seen in the whole entire world

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Because yours needs an extra compliment <3 :p

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Super original.... I am gonna give you a clap for changing the words.

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I love the way you start this, it's rlly a good hook for the reader (:

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Love the relatable reference to "netfilx and chill"

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Love your descrption of eyes :D

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SUSHI-FILLED CUTE GIRLS I LOVE IT

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I like how you included sarcasm in order to create a humorous an comedic effect.

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You have a brilliant ending I am very impressed because you really showed your personal voice! WELL DONE!!!!

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I love your 'voice', and I also love how you decided to include killer whales as part of your story. (It's appreciative of the killer whales which deserve more love:)<33)

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I love the question at the start. Already fantasticcc

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wEiRd EnDInG but it's a great description and makes it feel like I'm there

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wow!

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I love your descriptive ideas "suffocating", so original and makes the reader interested

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I love your entire piece!!

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Short and simple!

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I love how you "copied" the example we were given and I love how you used humour. It was very funny to put "absolutely" on a completely different paragraph!!

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BEST ENDING

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yoda, you are??2??2?2

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I love how you start the story<33

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Amazing. *claps*

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Brilliant!

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Well done! This is a great description and honestly makes me feel like I'm there!

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"The rain raged hell" was already so interesting <3

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With its brightly coloured colonial buildings, tropical beaches and its painfully blue sky, you could probably already imagine what I had been doing with my phone at the moment.

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This is so relatable it's amazing ><

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I’m falling from the sky. Gravity is dragging me closer to the cold, hard ground. Fear has taken over and as I shut my eyes I begin to fall faster. “Pull the rope!” I hear my guide Tahana shout at me from behind me. Without a choice, I had to. Opening my eyes I fumbled for the rope and quickly tugged on it. Suddenly, I was jerked up in a sharp movement and I was floating much slower to the ground.

“Well done!” Tahana said as she walked over to me whilst my heart was still pounding and I was so close to collapsing, “You survived your first skydive!”

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Aron, this is honestly the best piece of writing on this entire sheet, you couldn't have done any better, well done you A* student you are genuinely the best in the entire class
(can i have my seat back
please)

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My foresight for this weekend: to be like a seal glued stuck to the couch doing some ‘Netflix and chill’ and possibly indulging in some mouth-wateringly delectable ice cream. What i ended up doing: jumping out a sixty story building with gusting winds pummelling my face and a rather questionably thin rope attached to my feet.

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The only thing in a killer whales eyeshot was me. Suffocated by my own shock - I went pale. Day one, I realised how much Tahiti cares for my health, by making me wait for two hours in a non air conditioned room, sweating the meal they failed to provide me.

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The exact second that I set foot on the campsite, I knew I was going to hate the place with a passion.

Three days back, I had been about as bloated as a frog mid-croak. (I swear, it had literally nothing to do with the fact that I had stayed glued to my couch watching netflix and binging on snacks.) My parents — who I do still leech off at the ripe old age of 22 — must have eventually had enough of me when they found that the previously hefty supply of chocolate had mysteriously dwindled and had signed me up for a college field trip. Alone.

That Friday, I was suddenly on a nauseating bus, bouncing our way into a

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Well done! That's a really good use of stereotypes for comedic effect ^w^
(emeline best waifu)

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I like how you played with the order of your words because it varies your writing style.

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Bad Neuenahr was a huge adventure park, spread over 20 acres of luscious, green land. You must imagine a windy-humid place, basking in the warmth of Germany’s semi-modest sun. Look up into the glistening forage of leaves and you will see dangling obstacles, nestled amongst the treetops.

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I was at iCity in Malaysia - a cyber-landfill in Malaysia that was filled to the brink with technological advancements - including an artificial snow biome that, honestly, shouldn’t exist in this scorching hot country. Although, I do thank science for allowing me to experience snow for the first time in 20 years I’ve lived on Planet Earth - as if someone needed to shove in my face that I’ve never travelled overseas. Throwing insult to injury, it further ignites my flames of envy with the way they’ve presented it - a gorgeous winter aesthetic that mocks my lack of experience with snow. Anyway...

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I’m being suffocated in rain. Swinging twenty two feet in the air. Sliding. Now turning. “Jump up! It’s the only way I can get the hook of the line so you don’t fall!” my friend Lara tells me as I try to leap my feet off the ground despite my harness’ best efforts to keep me grounded. Enjoyable, this is not.

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My short visit to Portugal, an alluring yet quite chaotic land ,if you ask me; a country which lies along the Atlantic coast of Iberian Peninsula. Quite frankly sharing a “caldo verde” with my mates, which in my opinion was dreadful. Despite its relatively small size, the country boasts a great diversity of geographical features, clearly advertising beautiful surroundings and atmosphere through every corner.

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When my family first suggested the idea of a cruise, to be honest I was not enthused. I mean, eight days stuck on a ship? I was pretty sure I would either end up strangling my siblings or throwing myself overboard!

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I love how good this is XD It looks really familiar... hmmm ;)

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The quest of “loosening up”, a battle I have yet to win, seems easier to conquer whilst I learn the difficult way that it’s much too easy to eat excessively in Maldives.

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The best. Nothing better.

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To the right of me, two tanned Italian children were prancing about in the shallow ocean coast. It was anything but graceful. 

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I was initially hopeful that my journey wouldn’t be one absolutely wasted…  It was.

(This is a drunk guy as the dude walks out of the bar) And with the grace of a blue whale, seconds later he was on top of me, fast asleep

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True. I might strangle my brothers too Mish good job!

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Gone was pride. Screamed, I did. Do I recommend trying this?

Absolutely.

(Actual start => ) I couldn’t stop. So I panicked. And bottom-slided my own path- now imprinted with lovely streak - through a frosty, glittering ski slope. As I gracelessly crashed into a thankfully fluffy pile of soft snow, I thanked the lords that my foot did not come off together with my ski, scattered across the hill together with my dignity. How was I supposed to get over there? Shuffle? While bundled up in layers upon layers of jackets with a now impossibly large ski attached to the limb implanted in this mini-mountain of snow? No way.

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“Japan? Why Japan?”

When my friends decided that we should visit Tokyo for the summer holidays, I was expecting some over stereotypical bustling city with sushi-filled cute girls with unnaturally large eyes. What I did not expect, however, was to be overwhelmed by such an alluring and gorgeous community.

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Interesting Much?

Bursting into the energetic restaurant, a sweet aroma of the chilly evening air greeted me. Radiant beams of illuminating lights lit up the active room. Songs of conversation charged my surroundings with a sharp, peripheral view of the panoramic-like radio waves echoing through the dynamic atmosphere. While waiting for my “Better than Sex” treat to arrive, soothing music cascaded rhythmically around me.

Upon the arrival of the majestic meal, an evergreen shade of  homemade sizzling pancakes were placed elegantly on the hand woven wooden table. My very mouth watered at the sight of this flare finary of comfort food. Kaya sauce sprawled delicately on the surface of the engraved art of the plate. And so I begin to delight myself with this simply splendid luxury.

Then, after I wandered about this historical,authentic landmark, my eyes soon glazed to a rather run-of-the-mill but classical tradition of a rocking chair. Not wasting time, I abruptly started to sit on the rocking chair and I begin to relax and enjoy my lunch break. This simplistic,stylish scenic restaurant is definitely a place I would recommend for someone who deserves a good,long break from a lively day-to-day normal routine of a tedious and a monotonous workload. The casual effect of the way the staff communicated to me somehow made me feel young,wild and free again!

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The rain raged hell, thunder bellowed and lightning flashed, intimidating white-hot streaks across the pitch-black heavens. Everybody was rushing to take cover under the larger white tents, hastily trying to save their belongings. Everybody except three.

Three girls in a ridiculously tiny tent that shivered dangerously in the wind. Three girls squished together like sardines in a tin can. Three girls snoring louder than the thunder above them. And one of these three girls, was me. So, imagine the shock we had when we groggily shuffled like cavemen - women - out of our shoddy excuse of a tent.