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I would like to start by saying that as I write this, you are still with us and I want to enjoy every last moment that we have. While there may not be too many more moments to share, let's make the 🤬 best of them.

You're a caring mother, a kind person, an intelligent person, and a loving person (to most people). What you mean to me is unexplainable. Not just because you're my mother, but because you're the best mother I could have ever asked for. You are supportive, and an absolute fighter.

Never think that anyone is disappointed in you in any way. You fought (and still are fighting) your 🤬 🤬 off through this whole journey and nobody could ever ask for more out of you. While cancer may be winning the battle against your body now, cancer can't erase everything we have been through and all the memories we have created. Cancer can't erase the thought of you in my mind for the rest of my life. Cancer can't erase the stories I will tell about you throughout my time on this earth.

I've read all of the posts on this page and they're all so right. I haven't known you as long as some of these people have, but you've known me since 9 months before I was born. You've watched me mature a ton in my 16 years, and I've watched you mature as well. Starting to give less of a 🤬 about non-important things, only dating guys who are nerdy and tall with a deep voice and glasses, and much more.

I love everything about you (except for your taste in boyfriends). This goes without saying, but you'll always hold a special place in my heart. As I go through life and do accomplish 🤬 I'll be like "man that would make my mom proud." I hope that you'll be able to look down on me and see everything I accomplish. I'm not gonna lie, though, I don't believe that will happen and I don't think you do either. But if it does, that's great.

All the 🤬 we do that only us 2 know about is my favorite part of who we are. There are too many memories for me to just pick one and call it a "favorite." We know each other so well that I'm sure when I talk about those "favorite" experiences the same things come to mind for both of us.

When both of our times come, I'll see you in heaven if we even believe in that 🤬. I honestly don't even know anymore but like what the 🤬 ever.

You're a person I can always fall back on, and tell anything to. You've done everything I could have asked of you as a mother, and I honestly feel spoiled as 🤬. I'm sure that's how you wanted it to be though, so I'm perfectly happy ;)

Love you always - Nate

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I love you because ...

You are one of the bravest people I know.

- You have endured treatments that were painful and difficult to buy yourself a little more time to be with your Nate, your family, and your friends.

- You left a safe government job to find something that you really liked doing. I was proud of you chasing something bigger, being an executive, and traveling the world.

- You left your marriage because we can't stay where things aren't right.  You showed me that you can be okay on your own. If we are happy, you are being the best Mom to your children.

You are generous.

- Not just with the people that you know, but with those that you don't. I've donated to so many things over the years I never would have even known about if not for you.

- We had the smallest trade economy just for us. Our most often uttered words to each other were "Could you use this?"  I'm think it started before we were pregnant at the same time, but it really snowballed from there. Maternity clothes, baby clothes (including evidently one memorable scene for my Mom where you ripped a jacket off Nate in his carrier in front of a Nordstrom and said he was done using it). Bags of clothing for children appeared; baked goods were delivered. Houses rented. Furniture and bedding dropped off.  Printers fell off of trucks. Interview and date outfits identified at the last minute. There was nothing we couldn't source for each other.

You are kind, and you know the difference between kind and nice.

-Your kindness is legendary. You've helped people with their small businesses, people with their charity drives, individuals struggling with small things.  Many, many times you checked in with me when I was sick or sad or just overwhelmed with life and no one else noticed.

- You can also be masterfully fake nice to those that deserve it, and they don't know it.

You make people feel great about themselves.

- You always made me feel so talented for the easiest stuff: Cooking complete meals, baking pumpkin bread and other simple pastries, fixing toilets, hanging curtains, patching drywall. Other people have told me you make them feel great about themselves for different reasons.

You help me make good decisions.

- Really early in knowing you, I found a pan of brownies in your trash that didn't meet your standards. It was the first of many trashed or rejected baked goods I've seen you give to others or just throw away. I learned it is always okay to wait for better desserts.

- Other things are more personal, but I am grateful for the guidance.

For Rachel's family:

I'm sorry I didn't have the great stories that I am see so many others have shared. I think Rachel and I have always been too much the same in our logic, our practicality, maybe even in our darkness, for some of the social parts of life. I hope I brought some balance to her life as she did to mine.

I met Rachel in late 2003 or early 2004 when we both worked at the National Cancer Institute.  She was a real employee, and I was a post-doctoral fellow. There were many of us on that floor of Executive Blvd during those years of similar ages that were doing many of the same life stage things. That's the age when women who have pursued higher education start catching up on relationships and marriage and babies. I'm pretty sure that both Rachel and I were planning our respective weddings by the time we met.  I remember discussing the details with her (Italian ice cart for her, chocolate fountain for me), but we weren't close enough to attend each other's.
I remember that we did a lot of yoga stuff in those early years, teacher trainings and classes and such. I left NCI in 2005, but she was one of the few people I stayed in touch with after I left. We got pregnant at the same time in 2005 and would have had Nate and Helena at the same time in 2006 except she was induced 2 weeks early, and I was two weeks late.  I am grateful for the time we had together.

To close, here are some of my favorite memories for Nate:

- Early on when we first knew each other both of us were selling stuff on eBay and other places.  I remember when she bought 30+ comforter sets to resell. So many comforter sets.

- I remember how important it was to your mom that your room was just right in the house she rented from us after she and your Dad separated.  She picked the paint color and had the room painted because it was too girly from my kids being in there and shopped for just the right bedding for your bed. It may not seem important, but when you are having to set up a whole new house for yourself it showed me how hard she was trying to make things easier for you.

- Your mom absolutely did not cook. When Rachel was renting our house in Rockville, I was fixing something in the laundry room and needed to see if water had leaked into the pantry cabinets that I had installed to hold all of our excess food and kitchen stuff.  She was using them to hold purses and sweaters and shoes. Because why would you need to store food in the pantry? On that same note, I was once talking to her about renovating her kitchen and said it was a shame you couldn't take down the wall between the kitchen and the dining room because you'd lose all the cabinet space.  She asked why because all the cabinets were empty and weren't needed.

- I have attached a picture of Rachel at my daughter's second birthday party with Nate.  I love the joy you can see in this photo that she has in being your mom.

Whitney Randolph Steele (May 4, 2022)

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Dear Rachel,

I’m sorry to hear you’ve reached the Kobayashi Maru. You are courageous and brilliant, both in your achievements and in life.

Nate is lucky to have you as a model for what women can be:  strong, wise, beautiful, and compassionate. And he is lucky to have your family as a model of what a family can be:  those people who will be in your corner, no matter the circumstances. All of you show him the Permuth that is in him: bravery, intelligence, and resilience.

I think of you as a student, but also a teacher. I presume you probably have been in both roles, simultaneously, your entire life. You are learning now, but you’re also teaching us how to respond to an un-winnable test and to walk through that doorway, into the next room.  Thank you Rachel.

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Bad jokes aside, I'm going to be traveling for a week or so and I'm unsure how much longer this site is going to stay up.  Just in case, here's a little hello from me before I get on an airplane that's smaller than most mini-vans.

Over the years, we have "passed each other in the night" several times. A quick dinner at Pied Du Cuchon in Georgetown, several dances at Eric and Mary's wedding and a social media relationship since we both joined facebook.

You've been one of those people that personifies the reason I've loved social media. Here are two people that don't have a ton in common but enjoy each others posts, have enjoyed each others company, and have watched the other do well, grow up and become the people they are today.

The way you've handled yourself the last few years should be an inspiration to anyone that's been going through their own hell.  You've shown the toughness, sense of humor, grace and irritation that we all hope to see in ourselves.  You are an 🤬-kicker and name-taker Rachel Permuth and I will always toast your spirit.

I'm not terribly religious and I sure as hell don't know what comes after this crazy life. Whatever it is, I hope our paths cross and that you'll continue to tolerate the idiotic sense of humor that I plan on taking with me through the ages. With much love, till we meet again. ~ Garrison

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Rachel, our paths crossed only briefly, but I remember your kindness well. We shared a class in grad school at the University of Maryland, and then you welcomed me during a detail rotation at NIH after I graduated. You were a kind and welcoming friend for me as I took my first steps in a new part of my career. You invited me to my first yoga class and included me on many other invitations for wellness activities at NIH. I wasn't able to attend many, but I always appreciated knowing I was still on your invite list. ;-) You probably never thought much about it, but that is part of what makes it so wonderful. I admired your ability to connect so easily and without intention or second thought.

I've followed your journey over the past few years as well, and you have continued to touch my life in subtle ways. I got my first colonoscopy a couple years ago after a surprising bout of diverticulitis at 37 (sorry if TMI). After finding a few polyps, my siblings are now on alert for their own, and I am on a 3 year rotation for my next exam. Sharing your experience has raised my awareness and has potentially saved lives. I admire your strength and vulnerability, and I want to thank you for your willingness to share your journey.

We lost touch over the years as our lives went in different directions, and I hesitated posting here, knowing my acquaintance was very much on the periphery of your life, but I figured the point is was to share even the small ways you've touched people's lives that often otherwise go unmentioned. Although brief, I am glad I was able to experience your kindness and generosity, and I hope that I can carry some of that forward in my life as well.

-Kathryn Hambleton

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Rachel,
You have always been an inspiration to me, since we met in our UMD Public Health doctoral program. We've shared and paralleled experiences in our lives together. We supported each other through PhD classes, and you helped and encouraged me through comps and the ongoing dissertation. Knowing your story of having baby Nate next to you while you finished your dissertation pushed me through the end of my dissertation with baby Isabel in my belly. You were often inviting me to fun, innovative events, like Burt's Bees to change all our products to be more natural, or your amazing development of Yoga Week at NIH with world-renowned researchers and practitioners, or hosting Reiki and Pilates trainings, and taking me to Pilates, Orange Theory, and Foundry Fitness classes. Our love of food and ice cream! And even the closure of our marriages in the same month, unbeknownst to each other. You were there for me as my Dad was diagnosed with cancer, even bringing me Thanksgiving dinner, and now I am able to understand your journey more and help because of his experiences. You have always been such a big idea person, and have also made those dreams come true! You are such an amazing people and business person. You are one of the most generous and giving people I know! You have been such a blessing as a Mom to Nate. You live life to the fullest and you are such a go-getter. You have lived so many lives over in your 47 years, and touched the lives of so many people. You will always be an inspiration to me, my dear friend, and I love you!

Gwen Roberts Francavillo

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Oh Rachel! How lucky was I that your family moved in next door the summer before our senior year of high school!?! You were a firecracker then and still are today. You brought an energy and life to our senior year and our whole “GIC!”

The time we spent driving around in your parents’ minivan, slowing down to check out certain addresses, going for runs so we could have chance encounters with our crushes, cooking, making Bernie Shullman runs for frozen yogurt, listening to music and watching movies, trying to keep Licky from licking me, and all of the other crazy fun adventures made senior year a blast and high school a time I cherish.

You had a confidence that was contagious and you lifted us all up. Your sense of humor was creative and wicked. And your intelligence was off the charts!! I know that I would NEVER have passed that AP Calculus exam (or class!!) if I didn’t have you baby-stepping me through it. To this day, I think of you as my real Prom date; I’m so glad we went together! “Never gonna get it!”

I went through my scrapbook for some pictures of our adventures and found a letter that you wrote to me on the last night before we went off to our colleges. It highlighted happy memories and recounted our  top 20 moments together. Among them: midnight talks on my porch imagining our husbands out in the world somewhere; Loewman’s $1.50 movies x 50; self-confidence talks; your amazing talent show performance; and so many others. You went on to give me a pep talk about college and courage, confidence, smarts and having our pick of the nice, good-looking guys once we got there. You signed it, “Rachel the Great”

Yep, that’s about right! You were then, and still are Rachel the Great…Beautiful, brave, hilarious, bold, smart, and kind. You have always had a special spark that makes you larger than life and draws those who take the time to watch and listen, towards you, where you light them up with humor, creativity, courage, and friendship.

I am so grateful for our time together. You helped me become stronger, more confident, happier and sillier…all traits I am now instilling in my children. I loved our times together and cherish and love you Rachel!
💕Amanda

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Hi Rachel,

Admittedly, I’ve been struggling to write this post. It’s been a lot harder than I anticipated. We may not be family and I’ve only known you a year, but I’m deeply upset and incredibly sad to see you go. It’s so unfair. Anyway, here’s some stuff I think you might like to know.

1. Stumbling onto your LinkedIn posting last summer changed my life. You’ve helped me develop new skills and expand my interests; that feels big to me. If it weren’t for you, I don't think I'd be working as a Legal Intern this summer. I’ll be continuing within EBSC's areas of expertise at a law firm that focuses on consumer protections cases against irresponsible and unethical food, cosmetic, insurance, and pharmaceutical companies. Our work together has and will continue to motivate me on my career journey.

2. As you’ve told me yourself, good bosses are hard to come by and you are one of, if not the best I’ll ever have. Your authenticity, honesty, generosity, and compassion (for yourself and others) are exemplary. The way you lead, calmly growing and adapting to the challenges you encounter, nurtures the people around you and makes us better for it. I could go on and on about the ways I want to be more like you.

3. I remember early in the summer when I was still trying to figure out what kind of boss you were going to be. I gently gave some feedback on our website, then followed up with a more overt criticism, sort of testing the limits, and you laughed. You said something like, “I’m glad you aren’t afraid to speak up even though you’re inexperienced. When I was your age, I wasn’t like that. Just be careful, other people who are more experienced than you might be threatened or think you’re arrogant.” I’m not exactly sure why that moment stuck with me, but it’s ought to be in part because I, like you, have been known for my assertive communication, which isn’t always appreciated from women in business. You’ve taught me about hard work and determination, but also showed me that it’s ok to cut out the BS and make decisions that make life easier.

4. I remember when you found out I had a boyfriend of 3 years. You were shocked that you didn’t know and demanded pictures, which was so funny to me. Something about me keeping “the goods” to myself lol. I thought maybe you were getting bolder as time went on with your diagnosis, but that doesn’t seem quite right; you’ve been a quirky, friendly, shameless boss since I met you! I think it just took me a while to trust that my boss could be a friend too. Anyway, I thought about it for a few days and then told my boyfriend I was sending some pictures of him to my boss, “She has cancer so she get’s whatever she wants and apparently it’s you!” I was flattered that you said he was cute… he was too.

5. I’ve loved working with you and I have so much more to learn from you. I’m sure I’ll be asking myself “What would Rachel do?” for the rest of my career, and I think that will serve me well, for big decisions and everyday reminders… like getting back to emails in a timely fashion.

6. I’m going to miss you… a lot. I consider you a friend and a mentor, not just a boss. I’ve got my “meep” on my desk.

This post in no way feels like it’s enough, but I don’t think “enough” is attainable in these circumstances. I guess I hope that you’ll rest even just a little easier knowing these six things. All my love to you and your family.

– Celena CT

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Rachel, I am do deeply honored to know you.  I have quite a few blessings by way of Sodexo and you are 1 that I am so very grateful for.
From day 1, you were kind, supportive, thoughtful and always PC and super smart!  I always loved knowing I could count on you to think outside the box with the goal to WIN!  The way you creatively gathered insights and research positioned you to the top of the list when designing the A team.
Personally, I am inspired by your heart and compassion for ALL people.  Thank you for being one of the few, who didn't need DEI training, because your see people for the content of their character and not the color of their skin.  A DREAM personified!
I am grateful for your support of my philanthropic goal.  Thank you for helping me pave the way for the next generation!
You are a jewel. A ONE of a FIND!

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“Papi, sit with me”
“Right here, Luca?”
“Yes, it’s pretty”

My cousin Rachelina, I’m grateful for every chance we had to sit together. I remember fondly your work trips to Manhattan and how we shared a meal together whenever your schedule allowed. I remember staying a night in your home when Nate was just a newborn and the sense of wonder he brought into your life. I hope that Nate and I will cross paths again someday - and I will look for your smile in his beautiful eyes.

Love you prima, and all the Tampa Permuth’s as well.

Jaime

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Rachel,

So glad our paths crossed and happy to be neighbors with you. Most of our interactions have involved food… exchanging chocolates, treats, and you even brought us some delicious bagels once! Thank you again :)

We don’t know each other super well, but I will always remember the way you speak your mind and don’t take *$#i% from anyone. This is something I aspire to do better and want to make sure all my babies do too!

You are so brave!! Sending you love and more love.

<3
Knaacks

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My Dear Rachel,

You have been on my mind and heart as you have faced this difficult, horrible journey.  As probably one of your older friends, I shake my head and repeat, “too young”.

My first memories of are when our boys were in two-year preschool at ECDC.  I as aghast as Chance was biting Nate!!  Why??!!  My shock was how could my son do such a thing?  Your response was  kind and gracious and focused on helping our boys become friends.  And they were for a short time but all of us went our different ways in kindergarten.  I kept up a bit with you as I saw Nate’s grandmother at the lifetime gym.  And speaking of that…you encouraged me to attend a yoga class with you, and our boys could stay in the childcare center at Lifetime.  That was 2009.  I joined the gym soon thereafter and am still a member.  It has been a life-line for me and for Bob.  Even Chance is working out there!  By the way, he has played hockey since he was about 5 and is still taking violin. And he has not bit anyone since he finally stopped attacking Nate!

If you want to see him playing violin, check out his teacher’s YouTube site Top40Strings, (Michelle Lau-You may have to add her name in your search to get to the right site). She posted some videos of an ensemble of kids playing various songs -together! It helped to work on these during the pandemic.

I was slightly sad when you left NHLBI.  You were brilliant, creative, and had way more energy that I ever had!   You were my fun friend and I respected the courage and commitment to your decision to build and shape your career.  You even started a business during all this crazy time.

I just want you to know, I have loved and respected you from afar.  I know I am not in your inner circle, but I even loved being a peripheral friend.

You deserve all the love and attention those close to you have given.  I am so sorry you will miss some milestones in Nate’s life.  But you have given him so much.  He will love you for his entire life.

I wish you peace.  I respect your honesty and again, as an older friend, I have fears, too.  In a conversation with Chance the other day, he was projecting out 20 years.  Bob and I together said, we won’t be here in 20 years!  That makes me sad but my girls will have to take over.  And he has a great relationship with them.

Dearest Rachael, know that you are loved now and will be in eternity.  And, yes, it is way too soon.

Much, much love,

Rosemary

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I remember the day we met at a USF Public Health party, I’m pretty sure it was at skipper’s smokehouse.  I didn’t know that day that we would become great friends but I’m so glad that we did.  I have many subsequent memories: Indian buffet lunches; hanging out with you and getting to know some of your friends, like Pen and Sprout; invited for dinner at your parents’ house (for Passover, as I recall), and meeting your lovely family; a summer night out in Ybor; enjoying certain French and Peruvian linguistic quirks and mannerisms.  To name a few.

Mostly I remember and cherish the many long conversations, sometimes about important topics, sometimes about nothing at all, sometimes both.  Your fabulous sense of humor that I connected with so easily.  Though we haven’t seen each other in a long time, you will always have a place in my heart.

With love,

John/Juan

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Sometimes something terrible pops up in "Facebook Memories" that is to good not to share.

Two vultures board an airplane, each carrying two dead raccoons. The flight attendant looks at them and says, "I'm sorry, gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

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Rachel,
Although we are neighbors, we actually met at the dog park! Glad you recognized me from the hood! Even though Sir Ely was not feelin it when it came to Nori  so glad we had a chance to get to know each other:)  I've  certainly enjoyed our times together and the "foodie" adventures we have gone on - well, except the one time at iHop !
Because of you, I am a bit more open, a bit more vulnerable, a bit more brave and a bit more confident with others and maybe even a bit more persistent with things that are important .  Your spirit and generosity cannot be ignored!  You have a huge heart, tons of compassion and are one the most giving people I have ever met.  It is a privilege to be your friend and neighbor. Your journey has been difficult please know how much I admire you.   You are in my thoughts always.   Sending you and you family lots of positive energy, light and love.
Lisa & Nori

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I only met you in person one time, but the one thing that stood out to me on that day, was how normal you seemed despite all you have going on inside. Your words speak a different truth, one that no one that sees you walking down the street can ever imagine. What you are going through and have been through is a true nightmare. You are the bravest, feistiest person I know, and I wish that your determination alone could stop all the insanity inside. I am so happy to have known you (mostly through your words), and I know you will keep fighting.

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I have not known Rachel for long (unfortunately for me!) We knew each other through the Buy Nothing Group about a year and a half ago. By giving and receiving stuff. Then I signed up for Rachel's Meal Train. But since it was far down the calendar (Rachel is so popular that there was a long line of lineup people), I cooked some soup and delivered some snacks for Rachel and Nate. I also received food and milk from Rachel. Then I was busy with moving across the country to the Seattle area. And I left the BNG group. But still follow Rachel's fight from across the country.

Dear Rachel, I would like to thank you for allowing me to be your friend, for letting me in your journey to fight against this monster of cancer. By sharing your vulnerability, you demonstrate great courage, amazing strength, and fierce determination.
I was extremely impressed to see you start your own company in the midst of those killer therapies, I was so truly inspired when you gave a workout class (through Zoom) in between your rounds of chemotherapy, I was touched to read about your pains and sufferings due to the side effects of the drugs.
I admire your courage, your honesty, and your frankness. I think about you everyday and pray that you find strength and peace. Please do know that you are loved and that I (among many other people) do care about you a lot.

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Rachel, Kathy and I still say many of the funny expressions originated by you ... "squash" is our favorite, I believe. You were a force of nature, and one of the most hilarious people I ever met. Remember calling the office at BHS posing as all our moms? So we could be out "sick," aka go to Cincinnati to the Gap outlet? Remember us (the "possie," which was always spelled wrong on purpose), coming to see you in Cleveland, and our wild and crazy shenanigans? I also remember you doing a variety of dances, sometimes just to make walking more interesting. You were the first person I know who randomly sang things, like Nandini's name. I am sitting here laughing right now remembering some Rachel-isms. I'm thinking of you and yes, you made a huge impression on me. So many memories. Sending you love, always.
Carrie Morrison

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Dear Rachel,
Though you and I have only met in person a couple of times, you have touched my life in remarkable ways. I admire your strength, your love for your friends and family, and how you live your life with the utmost integrity and truth. I think about you often and reflect upon the words you share. You truly inspire me to live a life that is authentic and genuine. Also, thank you for the kindness and care you have given to the community and also my family (Who knew that a simple gift you gave my daughters - mini sofa for a doll - would bring so much joy? We will cherish it for a long time). May you continue to be surrounded by the love everyone has for you.
With love,
Christine Flores

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To Rachel, a friend when I needed one, with humor, love and spice…. Aimee

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To Rachel, a friend when I needed one, with humor, love and spice…. Aimee

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Rachel, per one of your recent posts, you did more than a few things right!  Clearly you have so many admirers, myself included.  We met at Foundry, and while some people keep their heads down during their workouts, you were always bright and open and willing to chat. We got to know each other at the gym, but quickly found out we had much in common--both having worked at NIH and knowing tons of the same people--how did we never meet earlier??  I came to appreciate your kindness, intelligence, sarcastic wit, and strength.  I thought it was so courageous that you started your own company.  You are a person who manifests her vision. You are an amazing person.

Much love,
Liza

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My memories of our time together always bring a smile to my face, Rachel. Though we haven’t known each other for a long time and with only a handful of encounters, your impact has been significant in my life. I’ll never forget the first time we met, you must have sensed how nervous I was because you gave me the warmest hug coupled with the kindest smile, it was exactly what I needed to help me relax. Then there was the time you and Nate met David and I for breakfast in Central Park. We had so much fun laughing, hearing about your travels, and seeing the amazing relationship you have with your son.

You see people for who they are, Rachel, but more importantly, who they want to be or could be. And to top it off, you make people feel like they can be the best version of themselves. I know because that’s how I felt we were talking about my mid-life career change. I laugh now thinking about where my head was with what I was trying to do, but you could see where it was going and the potential impact it could have on others. I remember getting off that call with so many ideas and being excited about making the changes that ultimately lead me to what I’m doing today. So thank you, Rachel for being such a kind and accepting person. I feel honored to be among those who call you a friend. You will forever live in my heart.

Elizabeth-Leigh

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We haven’t meet in person but know you from your sister. I has always admired the close relationship you and Jenny have...you are a dynamic sister duo. I have been lucky to know you through Jenny and all the stories from her. I wanted to let you know you are in my thoughts every day. You and your family have given each of you strength.

Love,
Kim

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We met when I was a PhD student at UMB (I think in 2015?), via Jennifer Swanberg...I don't talk to her anymore but I stayed in touch with you, even after I graduated and moved to Frederick! I did consulting work for you, via Sodexo for a year or two - you were always generous to me and kind and smart as hell. I remember when I met you and I thought - "YES!! THIS is what I can do with my PhD!!" Here was a woman who was using her PhD in corporate America and I admired you for it - academia was not my thing. I love your candor - you ALWAYS make me laugh. I also love that you curse like I do :).
Remember going to Phoenix for that conference Sodexo sponsored?? But we played all day in Sedona that one day and saw the Ghostbusters car - LOL. I uploaded the Ghostbuster car from our trip. That was BY FAR the most fun I have ever had at a conference. You are a pretty amazing human and you certainly touched my life in ways I will always remember - I still talk about Arizona to this day :)
--Helen!

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Rachel and I met in our neighborhood QOP through our pups Eli and Harley.  Eli is more spirited definitely! - Harley is more of a wallflower. They would both go to the same daycamp together.  Rachel and I would sometimes see each other on dog walks and chat it up.  I admire her frankness and willingness to share her story throughout her illness.  I think many people including myself would hide.  Rachel has done the opposite - she has tried to live life to the fullest (IMO) and she says it like it is.... I admire her.  I also admire that she has stayed active on the different neighborhood facebook groups - giving things away, offering advice, asking for info - one would never know the massive challenges she has been facing if you just read her posts.  and I admire how she is doing everything she can for her family and most importantly her son.  She is incredible..... 

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Rachel and I met in our neighborhood QOP through our pups Eli and Harley.  Eli is more spirited definitely! - Harley is more of a wallflower. They would both go to the same daycamp together.  Rachel and I would sometimes see each other on dog walks and chat it up.  I admire her frankness and willingness to share her story throughout her illness.  I think many people including myself would hide.  Rachel has done the opposite - she has tried to live life to the fullest (IMO) and she says it like it is.... I admire her.  I also admire that she has stayed active on the different neighborhood facebook groups - giving things away, offering advice, asking for info - one would never know the massive challenges she has been facing if you just read her posts.  and I admire how she is doing everything she can for her family and most importantly her son.  She is incredible..... 

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Hey Rachel

This is a great idea to have everyone write notes, so many people have so many things to say and to think of the energy required to sit and speak to us all one by one I’m sure is maddening ;)

I assume I had a big affect on your life since you named your son after me 😜. It’s important you know that You have had a much bigger affect on the lives of myself and my family than you probably realize.  I’ll start with the simple:

Thanks to you I had a place to hide out when I didn’t want to work 😎  It’s a small world.  When I was a file clerk at a law firm in downtown Tampa while going to USF, who would have thought one of your long time best friends, Emma, was an attorney there.  When I realized the connection I went in to introduce myself.  I could tell she was confused as to why I randomly wandered into her office, but she is super nice as we both know so she asked how I was doing.  I decided to have some fun first and said “hey Emma remember that party we went to in Ohio?”  Blank stare, it was priceless, she said with a half smile since I don’t have a very good poker face, “umm no, should I?”  I replied, “Yeah, Matt Permuth’s Bar Mitzvah.”  I explained how I knew you and your family as long as i can remember.  After that, anytime I wanted to take a quick break and Emma’s office was open I would pop in to see what she was doing.  We got to know each other well and have become good friends, still keeping in touch to this day, all thanks to you.

Thanks to you I got a couple nice confidence boosts in my professional life.  I absolutely loved our phone calls when you needed your expert opinions when you worked at Sodexo.  I would have done 100 of them if you asked me to.  Those calls may have been routine for you but I really enjoyed them.  At that point in my career not too many people had reached out looking for my expert opinion on anything 😎.  So that was a nice boost in my confidence at that time, all thanks to you.

Thanks to you and your family, I live in wonderful Champa Bay and have a beautiful family of my own.  Winter break my junior year in high school, my parents and I take a trip to FL and visit our friends the Permuths.  I was pretty set on Penn State for college but your dad thought it would be a good idea to visit USF.  Matt took me around to see the campus and told me how much he liked living in Tampa versus up north.  When we got back I asked Jenny and she told me I would love it here.  You were also home at the time so I said to myself “let’s see what the wisest of the Permuth kids has to say” 😉.  Your response and I quote, “Why would you want to go to Penn State?”  I realized it was meant to be blunt and rhetorical 🤣.  You told me it was great down here, weather was nice, USF was great, don’t go to Penn State unless I had to 🤣.

So we went home after winter break to the nasty winter weather of PA and I kept thinking “why AM I living here?”  Call it good timing or whatever it was, but I was finally over living in the cold weather now that I knew I didn’t have to.  I decided to apply to USF, ended up getting into the Honors Program, loved my 4 years there, and because I came down here I was able to meet my beautiful wife Maggie and have Zachary and Arianna.  None of that would have happened if we didn’t visit you and your family that winter break.  So I live in this beautiful climate and have my beautiful family, all thanks to you and your family.  Thank you for that.

We love you Rachel.

The Goldenbergs
Nate, Maggie, Zachary & Arianna

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Another BNG friend here. We’ve never met, but I’ve been following your posts. You hooked me with your compassion, generosity, transparency and candor mixed with huge dollops of humor. Your family and close friends are lucky ducks to have you in their lives.
I can’t imagine anyone being in your sphere and not positively impacted in some way. With your Meal Train posts alone, you’re enriching lives. Perhaps one of us will pay more attention to a physical abnormality and quickly seek medical care, make amends with a friend, be more generous to those around us, or just appreciate each day a little more when it’s so easy to sweat the small stuff. Wishing you days that are peaceful and pain-free, filled with the love of family and friends.

Warm hugs,
Elisa

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You’re someone who has used your life to touch so many others. I’ll always feel incredibly lucky to have met you and known you. I'm always thinking of you. Sending you hugs and lots of love.
- Payal, your friend from Sodexo

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If I was ever frustrated, wanted to vent or just check in, you were always there. I loved the conversation we would have on consumers behavior, you have an amazing gift to really understand people. But most importantly you are an amazing friend. Nate is very fortunate to have you as his mother.

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Rachel and I met while I was running field operations at Weight Watchers, and she was at NIH. We had dinner one evening, during a conference, and something with us just clicked. I was struck by her warmth but also her no 🤬 attitude. I had found a kindred spirit! :)
We shared being working moms (our boys are the same age) and finding ourselves back in the dating game well into our 40s. Kudos to us for knowing we deserved more from relationships and showing our boys what strong, independent women looked like.
I have always had infinite admiration and respect for you and will miss you dearly.
Sending so much love,
Beth (Milner)

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Hi Rachel,
We haven’t met in person but I feel like we have through the awesome BNG group. I’m in awe of your strength, courage, inspiration and transparency. I wish there was a cure for you as this isn’t fair. Nate is so lucky to have you as his mother and I love that you are creating future moments for him to cherish.  Please let me know if there is anything you and your family need. Cherish these days, weeks and months s ahead.  You are in my thoughts ❤️
Stacey

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Hi Rachel, While I can't tell you which classes we had together, I have 2 really strong memories from grad school. One is you telling me (and I think, Nancy) about going out with Howard one night before a class. The other is that you had finished your dissertation. (I think there is a theme of determination in both of these memories). It took me a while to finish after you, but your completion showed me it could get done! Over the years, I've enjoyed connecting on Facebook and seeing your love of family and desserts, two of my favorite things! I appreciate how you've shared your experiences, your honesty, your emotion, and your grit. I am awed by the outpouring of love on this page. xox, Sandy

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We all joke about the work culture here. Yesterday we were about to perform an invasive surgery on a man and right before going in, he asked if he could take some time to respond to some emails and hop on a "quick work call"

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An angel asked God what he was doing.  "Making Canadiens," God said.

"Awww, they're so nice," said the angel

"Oh yeah? Watch this," as God dropped a hockey puck.

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Hi Rachel - We have only known each other a short time (not even a year - wild!), but you have already impacted my life in countless ways. We met on Linkedin when I responded to one of your posts looking for someone to work for EBSC. We bonded over being young and both having had cancer diagnoses, and you took a chance and hired me (thank you)! I had NO idea what a mix of public health and legal work was like, but with the freedom you allowed me on projects and your constant encouragement, I grew to truly love this space. You have taught me so much about this work and it has helped me grow tremendously as a researcher. As I head off to nursing school this fall, I will carry with me that one of the main reasons I was accepted (TO ALL OF MY SCHOOLS) was because of this job and your letter of recommendation (which I have not read, but am certain was nothing short of perfect). I am forever grateful for both.

My family is amazing, but I have never really had anyone to look up to when it came to my education or career (neither of my parents had the opportunity to go to college). You have allowed me to see what a badass highly-educated woman business owner and epidemiologist looks like! You taught me to never sell myself short - not with money, not in how someone speaks to me, and not in what I have to offer. Your mentorship means the world and more.

While you are my boss, you are so much more to me than that. Just hang with me while I get mushy for a second. Rachel, you have become a dear friend to me over the past 9 months. I talk to you almost every day and I was fortunate enough to be able to come to Maryland and meet (and stay with) you in person last fall for work. We worked, we laughed, we cried, we hugged... and I got to meet Nate! I will always cherish those few days.

I have lost too many people in my young life, many of them way too young. Both my dad and beloved cousin died in accidents, suddenly, and I was never able to tell them how much they meant to me. But I am going to tell you. I want you to know that during a very tough part of my life, you gave me my confidence and spark back (I could talk about this forever because I have reflected on it a million times over the past few months, but hands down meeting you has changed the trajectory of my life). I want you to know that you have helped me grow as a human being in multiple ways (growth that I know will continue even after I am no longer with EBSC). I want you to know that you are one of the coolest people I have ever met... you have it all: smart, pretty, so kind and generous, HILARIOUS. And I want you to know that I love you dearly as a friend, Rachel. And I love that the universe demanded that our paths cross, even if most of it was via Zoom.

🤬, we make a really great team.

Okay, last thing. I bought this artwork from some London-based photographer a few years ago, and the quote is one of my favorites: "The people you love become ghosts inside of you, and like this you keep them alive." You will always always always be with me, Rachel.

Sending you so much love!

XOXOXOXO - Leah Hoeniges

PS: The doggies say hi!!

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For those who may not know, Rachel's linguistic skills go much further than English and French. She knows un poquito de español. Her favorite phrase exemplifies her love of life, of family, and friends. She would say, "¡Qué bueno!" She told me once she heard it from a movie and she liked how it sounded.
Rachel, you're a friend, a confidant, and exude confidence to those around you. May these next months bring you inner peace, meditation 🧘‍♂️ and prayer. Say hi to Nate, your parents,   sister, and brother for me. I've been very lucky to meet all of them.
Take care,

Número ocho

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Dear Rachel,

Middle school was a funny and fragile time, but amidst all of it, you were a delightful breath of fresh air: someone who was smart, kind, witty, and always hilarious. We may have lost touch but I will always remember you as my other half during those tenuous years. You introduced me to many things: A Fifth of Beethoven on your record player, Jewish prayers (Baruch ata Adenoi anyone?), Les Mis, the Club MTV concert with downtown Julie Brown and Milli Vanilli (!). We were also partners in crime in school. I distinctly remember singing a synopsis of The Song of Roland to the tune of “I Think We’re Alone Now” for Mr. Kalb’s English class. What were we thinking? And “How are you, Ms. Fondong Blue”? I still sing it to this day!

While I have never met Nate, I am confident that he has inherited your strength and boldness and intelligence and resilience. He is lucky to have you as his mom. You are a true force and I’m happy we could share an important part of our lives together.

Love to you and your family,
Nita

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Link to David's video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/15a7pSgRHfd6mk3S3R5SLQo4FSCrZYRsV/view?usp=sharing

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Dear Rachel,

We met at NHLBI - many, many, many (you get the idea here) moons ago. Though you left NHLBI for Sodexo over a decade ago we were able to keep in touch sporadically via Facebook.  I don't think this post will do you justice but I wanted to write anyway.

I'll never forget...

how much you loved VitaTops and your resourcefulness in scoring boxes of them for free.

your generous and uplifting spirit - you've always found ways of helping people - people you didn't even know! - thinking back - you probably put me on my path of self-improvement with the mentorship program you started.

how you walked into my cubicle one day and were like "I have these bras - they are a little big for me but I think they'll fit you...want them?" - So matter of fact and practical - the next day they were on my desk :). Now I don't know how others reading this will take it - but if you are part of the population that purchases these contraptions - you know how expensive they are and while I had my own - who doesn't want free stuff??? especially useful stuff???

but most of all - I'll never forget your quirkiness and ability to put everyone at ease. The expression you get when you know someone is being stupid and you can't understand why - it's a look of sheer perplexity - Like you are trying - I mean really trying to get them - and know that they can't be got.

Rachel - I'm so sorry for what you've been going through. I honestly just don't have the words. I have been lucky to know you. I hope that you know how loved you are...heck - this page is a pretty good testament to that - and to what an impact you have made in the lives of so many.

*hugs* wishing you peace

love,
Aroos

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Hi Rachel,
We met at Sodexo 10 or 11 years ago. Hard to believe it was that long ago. You made an immediate impression with your big smile and since you were so obviously willing to say and do the right thing despite the various corporate BS that was going on. (I won’t say anything negative since there may be other SDX people here with a different perspective).  But anyway, you were fearless, a subject-matter expert and someone with a ton to contribute to the company. It’s a pity we didn’t get to work together more closely and I’m sorry I didn’t get to know you better but you made a big impression and although I left Sodexo in 2014 you crossed my mind often in the years since. We all meet hundreds of people but only a handful leave an afterglow. The number of tributes on this site show you did something right. I’m very glad to have known you Rachel, and I wish you the best for the time ahead. Love, Owen

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Ma chère Rachel,

I’ve been following your tough journey in the last two years on FB where I’ve always been reading you with great pleasure and admiration. I like the way you write and tell your views and stories with great finesse, intelligence and humor.
Your latest posts on your blog obviously broke my heart, as if you had become a close friend over the past months.

We unfortunately never got the chance to meet in person, but I felt some proximity with you since our very first exchange at Sodexo.

We are the same age, your son Nate is between my two sons (Alexandre and Antonin, respectively 18 and 14) and we both “had to leave” Sodexo during summer 2020…
A few years ago, as I was looking for a nice American host family for my oldest son, we considered doing a teenager exchange with Nate, remember ?

I always hoped I could welcome you at home in Paris but as this will never happen, I would like to make you a proposition: please forward my contact details to your ex-husband (and also to your dear sister), so that Nate can be warmly welcomed in France whenever he feels like coming for visit or study. It would really be an honor and pleasure for me to welcome him at home, and get closer to you through him ;-)

Life is so 🤬 unfair and the idea of your precious life coming soon to an end is kind of inacceptable. But you now know how much your too short life has been incredibly fruitful and has positively impacted so many people’s life ! This is impressive.

I wish you much peace and shared joy in the weeks and months to come, as little pain as possible, and I send you TONS of love,

Hélène Guitton

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Rachel and I met at the National Cancer Institute (NCI) at NIH where we worked together for 4 1/2 years from around 2002-2007.  I remember she was always giving me little gifts like vitamins and maybe hand lotion.  She taught yoga once a week to a group of us during lunch hours for practice to become a yoga teacher.  She LOVED yoga!  I also remember her having a sign on her door saying that you SERIOUSLY had better knock or you’d be sorry, or something like that (because she was pumping milk for Nate).  I thought it was a very funny sign.

We both left NCI for other NIH institutes.  I left there for a job with NIH/Office of the Director at the Rockledge I building on Rockledge Drive in Bethesda, and just a few weeks later, she also left and got a job, I think at the National Heart Lung and Blood Institute of NIH, at Rockledge II, the building next to mine.  She invited me to her weekly yoga classes there, and I enjoyed attending them.  After maybe less than a year there, she left, and unfortunately I didn’t see her again for around 10 years.

I noticed a post on the NextDoor app from her, and it said she was living in the same neighborhood!  I contacted her, and we discovered we’re living only about 5 houses away from each other on the same street!

We went walking together a few times, and as usual she has been bringing me gifts of hand lotion, cosmetics, meals, fresh homemade challah, soup, and amazing desserts.

One time, around 2019, I saw an ambulance pull up in front of her house.  I ran over and heard that Rachel was having a really bad migraine.  I know how awful migraines are sometimes.  I “babysat” Nate while she went to the ER.  I think that’s the only time I got to meet Nate, but maybe he’ll remember me.

I’ve tried to help a little with yard work and shoveling snow recently, but I wish I could do more so she doesn’t have to go through this tough time.  Rachel is such a generous person.  She truly enjoys giving to people.

Rachel is such a great writer, and so open about her experiences.  I told her that I hope her blog can be made into a book, like my friend Jen Coken recently did.  She said it was fairly easy, too - there’s an app for that.  Jen wrote a bestselling book about how her mother’s ovarian cancer had been misdiagnosed for one year until it was too late, and she passed away.  Her book is lighthearted and funny, and her goal is to educate women about fighting for additional testing and a diagnosis even if their doctor doesn’t think it’s necessary.  Jen’s book is now being made into a movie in Hollywood!  This might be a good way for Rachel to spread the message of colon cancer awareness - and to help a LOT of people.

I think being with Nate is her favorite thing in the world, and is the reason why she has fought so hard to be around as long as possible.  Rachel, family, and Mandy, you’re all awesome!

Love,

Janice Solomon

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Dear Rachel,

I still remember you as the new girl in school sitting in front of me in home room! I myself was the new kid only a few years prior and remembered how tough the transition could be. So happy to have met you then and to have made a new friend!

We went our separate ways after high school but I feel so fortunate to have reconnected with you so many years later on-line as well as in our shared missions to fight this rising scourge of early onset colorectal cancer. Like so many of your other friends and colleagues, I find much inspiration in your determination to remake your career and live your life as a loving mother, sister, and friend.  Keep living your life the way you want to live it and remember that I am always rooting for you whatever your choices may be.

Your old friend and Solonite,
Kevin Chang

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Hope you can open the link to my video for you!

Deb Dailey

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1WSqiRAZeqH8w9-KKaZ_4kB6RhB8QSmTE/view?usp=drivesdk

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I don't recall how exactly we met but I just know that my USF grad school days mean two things. One of those is Rachel! I remember thinking "what a quirky girl, I like her!" What I love most about you is how you helped me become more "real". Not angry or cynical per se (though I have that in me) but just OK with being and feeling however you are at the moment. I remember coming to Maryland and seeing you and just feeling like we picked up where we left off and thinking. You are so easy to be around. That is a skill that you were born with. You are just lovable. You are also a hella funny chick! I think of laughter when I think of you and I love that.
I hold out hope. I'm very stubborn in this. I apologize. I want you to not feel this pain. I love you my friend. Above all - you are a good person. A forever memory.

~Evadnie

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Dear Rachel,

We met many years ago when you were just starting at Sodexo.  I was happy to find such an engaged friend and colleague -- creative, smart, strategic, and driven.  And then people would confuse our emails :)  Even if we didn't connect often, I was always happy to know you were part of the picture.  Since then, I have been blown away by your bravery and go-getter attitude -- I truly can not believe you started your own company while fighting such a serious illness. And I love your writing -- the subject of your recent meal train updates has been difficult -but your honesty, bravery, warmth and sense of humor has been an inspiration and a reflection on the amazing person you are.  In particular -- i really enjoyed the reflection on avocado toast and the description of you, your mom and sister breaking into dance in random locations. And I am grateful for your transparency and insight on matters like what to say (and not) to someone with chronic illness.  You have made such an impact on so many people.

Thank you for sharing your self with us,
I am thinking of you, wishing you peace and comfort,
Love,
Rachel Sylvan

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My Dear Friend Rachel,

Words cannot express my thoughts/feelings as I read the post about creating this message...but I will say it radiated the essence of you - to live life to its fullest in the present! For we know not what tomorrow holds, but we make the best of the time we have.

Your courage and strength through your journey is, and will always be, an inspiration to many. We met so many years ago at NHLBI and I was blessed to reconnect with you a little over a year ago through social media.

Thinking back on our time at NHLBI as you persevered through challenges of freeing people's mind to open up to new ways and embrace "Wellness." From laughing in the office, to having discussions about the future, a yoga session or 2, 🙂to proctoring exams (thank you for that opportunity!), you've always been very caring, honest and supportive and I truly appreciate you for that.

I can't believe Nate has grown so much! From the little boy in the picture you shared in your office to "Nate passed his learner's permit test." Through all life's challenges your love for him and the joy that he brings you has always been evident. I know he has and will continue to make you proud! He will always carry you with him...as will we.

In celebration of your life and in honor of You...I just want to say - Thank you for always being true to Yourself...and for the great impact you've had on me and many others! Sending you love and hugs. Wishing you peace, continued strength, and joy as you embark on your next journey...which I'm sure you will handle with the same grace that you live every day. Much Love, ~Tanya

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I remember being downstairs in the Permuth basement with the Galskys calling the KZ93 radio station's request line over and over. It was always busy, but occasionally someone would answer and we would request a song and listened by the radio to hear it. I can't remember any of the  requested songs or if they were ever played, but we laughed a lot.

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Joel and I have known Rachel ever since she was a little girl.  One afternoon I was invited by our mutual friend, Eunice Galsky,  to her home on Montello, in Peoria, to meet someone who had just moved into town, a woman named Jacki Permuth, whose husband, Steve, was a new professor at Bradley. (Sorry but Ido not remember the year but this was probably in the late 1970’s.) I walked into the house, and sitting on the sofa with a baby (Jenny) in her arms was Jacki. I liked her immediately, and soon met the entire family. Joel and I had 2 young daughters at the time, Valerie and Sharon, who were just a drop older than the Permuth children. Our families, along with The Deckers, hit it off right away, and we spent many happy holidays and other social and family times together. One infamous adventure was spent at Nippersink, an outdoorsy camp for families that Eunice and Alan introduced us to.  I loved it, others not so much. Family times together continued for many years until the Permuth family moved first to Ohio, then Louisville, and then on to Tampa. Joel and I visited these places as often as we could to help celebrate bar/bat mitzvahs, weddings, and special birthday occasions.
I remember that Rachel was a member of the Anshai Emeth Religious School and the Girl Scouts.  One time that stands out with Rachel was a trip to Las Vegas for the Galsky/Cohen b’nai Mitzvah,  several hours of which were spent in a shopping mall, where we visited an art gallery. Rachel purchased, and had shipped back home, what appeared to me as a very, very large painting in black, white, silver, and red. I assume that painting has a special place of honor in Rachel’s home.

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Rachel,

It has been many, many years since we've seen each other but the imprint you have left on me is forever.  I had so much fun with you in high school. Hanging at your house watching movies, dancing around in random get-ups, concerts at Blossom, and talking for hours about our latest crushes. When I think of you... I think of your amazing sense of humor, your off-the-charts intelligence and your kindness.  And, after knowing you for a short while, I remember feeling like I had known you forever.

I'm deeply sorry for what you and your family are going through...but the honesty and courage with which you have faced your cancer could not be more inspiring. Even from a distance, you are making me want to be a better, braver person and to really cherish the now (which is all any of us truly have).

From the immediate friendship we had back in high school to lessons I'm still learning from you today. Thank you for touching my life in ways you will never know.

Love, Kristin

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Rachel,

Although we haven't seen each other in person in well over 20 years, it is so difficult for me to imagine a world without you in it. We were close for a relatively short amount of time, but that time was so important to me. As my first “real” relationship, I learned a lot. And I was very fortunate to spend that time with you.

First of all, I appreciate you being so patient with me as a dumb boy. In many ways I'm probably still very much a dumb boy at 50 (as my wife would attest) but I was really extra dumb at 24. At times I was selfish and certainly pretty oblivious, and I'm sure it was a struggle to put up with that. I was not in a place to appreciate that as much 25 years ago, but I certainly do now.

Second of all, I learned how important family is to a relationship. Your family was so kind to me and I always felt welcome when I was around them. They were (and are) very caring, very intuitive people and I enjoyed the time I spent with them.

And thirdly, I learned so much from you – from the things you were interested in as well as our shared interests. I remember us going to used bookstores and carrying out literally 10+ pounds of books (that I would then have to schlep home on an airplane). In a world where the internet was brand new, that was the way to learn a lot! And it was fun to buy a lot of those books, and read them, and talk about them with you. You were (and are!) so witty, funny, and clever.

While in a pre-internet world we might have totally lost touch, we've at least continued a small connection over the years and I'm thankful for that.

Ultimately – I know I am better for having shared those times and experiences with you, both good and less good. I hope that you feel the same way.

I wish for so many blessings for you, for Nate and for your entire family.

With much love,

Carter

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Rachel, being best friends with Jenny in middle school meant that I spent a lot of time at your house.  You were the older sister that didn’t want much to do with us but we looked up to you! There are two things that you all may or may not remember….. one day I was listening to the radio in the car and they were doing a contest where you call in with the answer. I’m listening to the caller give the right trivia answer and the radio dj asked how they could have possibly known that answer. Well, the caller said they were studying latin in school. I remember thinking, who would study Latin and then you gave your name! I laughed and thought of course it’s Rachel!  One year you were having a Halloween party at your house which of course Jenny and I were not allowed to come to so we had to trick or treat in my neighborhood. Jenny told me that you were having different kinds of cereal as snacks at the party. I thought that was so weird but now I find myself sometimes eating cereal as a snack and I think of your Halloween party. I wonder if you and Jenny even remember this?  I hope you remember me because I was probably just your sister’s annoying friend that was always over! I have so many fond memories of being with your family growing up! Sending so much love to all of you!
Nicole Ontell Katz

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You are hands down one of the most welcoming friends I have ever had. There's something intangible about you that makes me (and I'm sure many others) immediately feel relaxed and at home.  I was lucky enough to meet you in for the first time in 2001 when our mutual friend Dave introduced us (I am forever grateful for this important introduction). And it was an interesting coincidence that we both started working at NIH on June 17, 2001.

So Rachel, you are a generous person. This is not to be taken for granted. Do you remember back in 2019 when I bought a big rug and realized I could not fit it in my Camry? I called to ask for your help and within minutes met you at the movie theater in Kentlands and you gladly let me borrow your SUV for an hour. It is a simple example but powerful to me - you are so approachable and genuinely kind and thoughtful. We need many more people in this world that have in a fraction of your kindness.

Your sense of humor, emotional intelligence, and bravery during the entire course of your illness has been remarkable. Especially since your diagnosis I've been struck by how fortunate you are to have such a loving, involved, and supportive family and wide circle of friends. Even though the time we spent together these past few years has been minimal I have treasured connection - a short walk in your neighborhood, a quick hello at my house, etc.

Nate - I hope you always hold your mom very close to your heart and feel her warmth, kindness, and love for you.  I know what it feels like to lose a mom and if you ever want to talk I'm here for you.
xoxoxo Your friend forever Liz Freedman

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Rachel, retiring in 2019 and then having a pandemic curtail many of the activities around us, we discovered the Buy Nothing Group. Each BNG community takes on the personality and character of its members. You are one of the backbones of our group. Interacting with you during COVID was a lifeline to staying sane and feeling connected to the world. We have actually met face to face which itself was unusual during COVID.

We talked about my daughter and her career path as she graduated with a neuroscience degree. It was kind of you to offer advice and I thought you would be a terrific mentor for her. I see many of your traits in her and wished there were more opportunities for her to meet you. She is now enrolling into a PhD program and will carry on the strong presence of women in STEM.

As we got to know you, we were touched by your generosity and kindness. We see the bravery and fierceness of your resolve managing your medical treatments and life in a pandemic as a single mother. We wanted to pay it forward by helping with the snow shoveling, mulching, or whatever physical work needed to be done. Obviously, you were never alone. We are glad to be a part of it. Our only regret is that we never got to give you a hug before you left for Florida.

It's not goodbye but until we meet again.

Love Tom & Cindy C

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Dear Squash,

I wanted to make a video but I didn't know how to without crying. So I'm writing. I think we met at Kammerererer and then went on to Ballard and Bradley together. I remember being at your house in middle school (?) before going trick or treating with our friends. That's when I met Henny and Hat and your fantasic dog...I think his/her nickname was "Licky." I had so much fun that night. Then of course there were the posse parties, trips to Village 8 and Tumbleweed in high school. Remember going to Nolin Lake with my neighbors and writing in the sand that we would be National Merit Scholars? It worked!!!

I was so excited that we chose Bradley independently! How awesome to have an old friend there. You were the best aerobics instructor ever. I swear I wouldn't have worked out so much if you hadn't encouraged me. Remember dancing to techno at SAE parties? We would go and not even talk to anyone, just throw our coats on the floor and have our own personal dance party. Remember when we were going to write a book together about "the duality of life?" After a few years our ambition whittled down to a pamphlet that never got written. :)

I also remember our short stint in Karatedo Doshinkan. That was fun. Remember Danchi? :)

I'm so sorry that things didn't work out for us as roommates. You were incredible when you called me the next semester and said that just because we couldn't be roommates didn't mean we couldn't be friends. I was so happy to still have your friendship.

There are so many songs that make me think of you:

Closer to Fine
Invisible Touch
Rump Shaker
Return to Innocence
Vogue (and all the Madonna songs we learned aerobics routines for)
Groove is in the Heart
Whomp! There it is!

I made a playlist of "Kathy and Rachel's jams" on Amazon music but so far I have been unable to share playlists with anyone. User error I think.

You have always been so much fun to be around. I loved enjoying goodies with you in college. By the way, I no longer think super sweet, chocolatey things are "too rich." :) You are a gift to everyone who knows you and will continue to be forever. You have a confidence, style and swag all your own that makes you incredible and unique. Your confidence and approach to life is inspiring. You have and continue to inspire me.

I am not saying goodbye. The most I will say is see you later. Still praying here. I love you, squash!!!

Kathy K.

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I know you already read the letter I wrote you, thanks for telling me you got it.  But I thought of something else: I always loved and admired how you are a natural "matchmaker" (not even in a romantic sense) of people.  You enjoy and are skilled at introducing people with needs to other people who can meet those needs.  This requires a deep understanding of people, their motivations and their skill sets.

I really love how you're so good at this! I don't think this is something a person can be taught...one of your many natural gifts. Thinking of you with love. -M

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Rachel, I will never forget you. You have made such an impact on me despite us really only spending about year or two living in the same place.  I remember exactly where I met you, the front yard of Amanda’s house.  You moved to a new city and high school your senior year, which couldn’t have been easy. But I’m sure it would be a surprise to no one who knows you, you joined our circle and didn’t miss a beat.  I knew right away you were my kind of person because of our shared love of "different” music. I remember all the laughing and silliness, the movies in your parent’s basement, your love of good food, your passion for fitness, your command of language, the awe I had watching you dance on stage at the talent show, your ability to make up a silly story and sell it like it was true.  Our trips to the Cinemark for cheap movie nights! Concerts at Blossom. Do you remember the time we swam in Briar Lake in the dark singing Nightswimming?  I hear it and I immediately think of you.

Life happened and we grew apart, but I swear I can’t tell you the number of times in the past 30 years that something has struck me as so “Rachel” because it was so smart and funny at the same time.  One of the things I wish for most for my daughters is that they make a few connections with people who touch them in a way like you’ve touched me, someone who they connect with, maybe even for just a short moment in time, that lasts forever.  As I grow older, I realize how precious those connections are. Thank you for sharing your disease honestly and openly.  I am grateful for the few phone calls and texts we’ve had catching up in the past year or two.  But it’s not enough and I am gutted by the cards that you, Nate and your family have been dealt. But I will cherish the memories and remember how lucky I am for the Rachel-isms that you’ve bestowed on me.  Thank you for reminding me not to sweat the small stuff.
Love you always and forever, Christine

Nightswimming deserves a quiet night

The photograph on the dashboard,
taken years ago

Turned around backwards so the windshield shows

Every streetlight reveals the picture in reverse

Still, it’s so much clearer

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RACH! My chronology stinks😂 however, I think we met in 2008 when you were developing and coordinating Yoga Week at the NIH. First, just the thought of something like that at the NIH was an alien concept😱 And second, I had to know who this kindred soul was, brave, courageous, and badass, to take on the "establishment!" Forward from there, and you saved my mental health in 2009, during the first settlement I won against the NIH, by providing a detail with you at the NHLBI, so I didn't have to go back to that toxic workplace. I am FOREVER GRATEFUL to you for that!!! You have always impressed me with your professional skills - organizational, leadership, innovation, super production; but as I have said to you many times, you are the MOST generous person I have ever known❣️ Over the subsequent years, we have become the best of friends, and you truly are a sister- friend💕 We have laughed, bitched,and cried about so many things...I love you, my son and now daughter-in-law love you, and you and Winter the bear totally charmed my granddaughter💜 I was with you at the colonoscopy appt and vowed I would be with you through this whole f-ing process. My life has been more fun and richer with you in it! And I told you that we will stay in touch, because we can do that 💙 as once there is a loved connection, that is eternal. I will always be here for Nate and your family. And when I am wearing my "spa robe," I can remember all the dinners, movies, work, and meaningful times I have shared with you! My world and that of many other folks, has been better because of you in it. Thank you for the gift of knowing you, Rach!!! 🌿🙏🏻💐🌟💚

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Rachel,

It is very difficult to believe in or accept this reality. Just the other day, I was wondering what to do with the thousands upon thousands of Dropbox files (10Gigs? ... jeez) that we created together, and what you might be using them for next.

I hope you know what your friendship has meant to Steph and I over the past few years, and especially when you and I worked closer together during my last few years in graduate school. I'll always cherish the times we shared and my memories of a truly great boss, colleague, and friend.

Words are simply never up to the task in this context, so... I love you very much Rachel.

- Kevin Martyn

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Rachel,

It’s hard to believe we met over 10 years ago! It all started back in 2011 when you came back to give a talk to the Bradley University Psychology Department. Our paths have crossed many times since then, and I have come to know you as an amazing role model, mentor, and friend.

You were always in my corner. I have so many memories of your kindness and support – like when you gave me my first ever internship (which sparked my passion for doing research on employee health and well-being), when you hosted Kevin and I at your house in Maryland during the Women’s March in D. C., when you took us out for pizza at Mellow Mushroom when I was interning at Marriott in Bethesda, and when your family welcomed us into their home in Tampa to help celebrate your father’s 70th birthday.

I am forever grateful for all of these memories. You have always inspired me, both professionally and personally. I can’t thank you enough for the incredible impact that you have had on my life.

With love,

Stephanie Andel Martyn

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I normally don't talk to strangers on an airplane, but when you inserted yourself between my wife and I (we were trying to avoid having someone in that dreaded middle seat), it just happened.  We exchanged cards, connected on LinkedIn, and then summarily didn't speak again.

Until last year. I was trying to get interesting guests on my podcast and found that you were working in some interesting things. We did a couple of shows together and I really enjoyed them. We were going to do some more when I found out you were getting weaker. I'm so glad I have those two episodes. And that I had the chance to meet you. I won't forget you Rachel...

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Link to Cris's video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1q_1Mt3qXblVh2J2mCkmm4myaM6jMHLlY/view

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Rachel, Linda, and Mandy at our dance recital. 

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I vividly remember talking to you on the phone about nothing in particular when I mentioned that the group house I was living in had a new guy living in the basement. Once I let slip that he was a swimmer, you became interested, this was someone you wanted to meet. We were friendly exes at this point, so my attitude "why should I set you up, what is in it for me?" Turns out that you had a good answer. The deal was that if I set you up with swimmer boy you would set me up with one your friends from grad school, Jenn, who you described as very cute. Long story short 3 years later I married you cute friend. Now we have been married for 16 good years and I am truly grateful. I owe you more than I could ever repay. I think we only lived in the same place for about a year yet I have so many memories. From meeting you at a Mosaic event, to dating for a bit, and then being friends and fellow warriors in the DC Jewish singles community. Through it all I truly appreciate how you combine intelligence and a sense of fun. You also had this way of combining real caring with a no nonsense attitude. Even getting dumped by you, didn't hurt that bad. You are a true original and I am truly grateful that our paths crossed

Gary Lavine

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Looking back over my notes, I was surprised to see that we met in October, 2000!  I remember what a powerful, brilliant  and beautiful person you were with endless energy.  It seemed that you were on your way to conquering all areas of life and indeed you have succeeded by any measure.   What a privilege it is to accompany you through  a Ph.D., a marriage, a beautiful son, fantastic careers and special times with family and friends.  Thank you for your trust.  Who would have thought your journey would include you becoming the teacher to all of us on how to face such adversity.  Thank you so much for allowing us in to share your immense courage, your beautiful fighting spirit and sadly, your pain.  My wish for you is that you see yourself as beautiful in every way - as we all do.  Sending prayers, positive energy and love.  I am grateful for you and the world is a better place because of you!  Sharon Cooper

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Rachel,
Because you're so awesome and because the Permuth's have provided me with so much love and happiness in my life, I present to you take 1 (where I immediately drop my phone to the ground). Fitting and maybe even poetic, for a Skippy, to do such a thing in a tribute. You are a special and unique human being and all those that have crossed your path, even if in fleeting moments, can and do count themselves blessed. Your strength and power amongst this illness are to be admired and serve as an example to us all of how to triumph even when the outcome is not what is desired. My wish for you is lasting peace and to be surrounded by every ounce of love that you can endure.

Love, Skippy

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I remember how excited and nervous I was picking you up to go the Sheep and Wool Festival for our first date. I’m not sure why we thought this was a good first outing, but we enjoyed the chocolate eclairs we purchased there. I believe this was followed by CostCo or was it too soon for such an important destination?

I learned early on I couldn’t get certain things by you when I ate what I considered to be a small amount of pancake from your plate while you were briefly away from the table, and you immediately noticed the missing pancake upon your return.

I remember when our freezer was full of frozen dessert rolls (“logs”) after you found a place online where we could order them in bulk. Who ate more of them? I think I did, but you did your best to keep up. We kept the last empty box as a memento but had to remove it from the freezer because we kept thinking we had one more left and then were very disappointed when the box was empty.

I was always amazed at how easily you connected with people, and the secrets they would tell you.

Thank you for giving me the greatest gift of my life, Nate. I remember when you would pretend to be various characters when you were playing with him, such as an auto mechanic. I had no idea that you could do funny imitations.

I am so proud of who Nate has become, and the qualities he has gotten from you.

And finally, I’m so sorry that you’ve had to endure this illness for the past couple of years and that you’re facing the end of your life now. I wish very much that it could be different.

Howard

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You and I first met on the phone and emails. I felt that you were very different from other colleagues - the depth and breadth of thinking. You and I only met in person once, and it was a miracle, as it was just before your long and difficult journey. I am impressed with your strength and openness and no-nonsense attitude during these excruciatingly difficult times.  Thank you for being such an inspiration! You were, you are and you will be in my prayers.  Warm hugs and strength to you! Ruti Amal

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Rachel, you’ve had an enormous impact in the lives of so many people; I’m certain each of the friends and loved ones celebrating your life here are like me and have countless memories of you that we’ll hold in our hearts and souls forever. I have been blessed with your friendship and am a better person for having known you. I am grateful to you for the difference you’ve made in my life.

I know you will always be near Nate, your mom and dad, Jenny, Matt, Mandy and all those whom you love most - have confidence in the unbelievable power of your love!

I love you, Rachel.
Colleen

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F***.   How do I even begin.  Please don’t expect eloquent paragraphs as I will just be contributing random thoughts.

F***

Regret: that it took this awful situation to bring us closer.

Fact: Eli and Coco are adorable cousins. And Eli has massive eye lids.

Fact. I have been avoiding doing this for a week or so.

Fact: I never really realized how much I was like you until we started getting closer.  And I don’t just mean our love for Popeyes chicken sandwiches and REM music.  We both have a massive hatred for dumb people.  A complete need for shenanigans.  And such passion for food.

Fact : I have so much admiration for you. How does one go from getting laid off by a 🤬 🤬 company while fighting  stage 4 cancer with toxic chemicals injected into your body, with tumors growing…and somehow manage to find the strength courage and tenacity to start their own business.  Who does that 🤬?

Fact : It’s Hard to see you in so much pain, but it makes the good moments so strikingly amazing. Words can’t express The feeling I get when u and Jenny can dance for a few minutes or when we laugh about crazy experiences and any of the pranks we play on mom.   ( sorry mom )

Fact: We are both so impatient

Fact :The girls and I Love the random 🤬 you send

Fact : I love how we transition from super serious conversation to the dumbest of things and back within seconds like it’s normal.
Fact: Eli’s crinkled nose and growling is the best video I have ever seen

Deep thoughts.  Is it wrong when certain family members try and be serious we bust out laughing?

Some random lyrics and thoughts

From REM

I will try not to breathe
I can hold my head still with my hands at my knees
These eyes are the eyes of the old, shiver and fold

I will try not to breathe
This decision is mine
I have lived a full life
And these are the eyes that I want you to remember

The only thing that will go with you, that you actually earned here is the love you shared, the compassion you showed, the humbleness, your gratitude, your helpfulness, your kindness.

That is the legacy you will leave here that everyone will follow.

Words will never be able to express how much I and our family loves you.

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“Whatever you choose to do, leave tracks. That means don’t do it just for yourself. You will want to leave the world a little better for your having lived.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

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“Whatever you choose to do, leave tracks. That means don’t do it just for yourself. You will want to leave the world a little better for your having lived.” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

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Dear Rachel,
It is clear that you have done just as the Honorable and Notorious RBG has advised in the quote above. While your time here will be ultimately way too short, I hope you know how impactful and influential it has been. From all you have accomplished with your personal life and professional life, you've worn many hats as mother, daughter, sister, friend, aunt, scientist, advisor, business owner, colleague, neighbor, confidant, and all-around bad-a** who gets sh** done. These (and others I've likely failed to mention) are all hats you've worn extremely well, with grace, dignity, and motivational force that not all people are able to put together in such a cohesive, coordinated, and successful manner.

Despite the heart-wrenching challenges following your diagnosis, you have continued to make tracks that inspire all those who have the absolute honor and pleasure of knowing you. To quote RBG for a second time, “Fight for the things that you care about. But do it in a way that will lead others to join you.” Again, you have done this. You are a true leader and your integrity, advocacy, courage, focus, and passion will continue to be the example people need. That goes for giving people the strength and gusto to make decisions on what is best for them in their lives, what relationships or jobs to focus on and for which to shut the door, what BS to take and to not, how to work through a life-changing diagnosis and/or event, and the intricacies of how to navigate the medical system. Your influential leadership will continue and you've done such a beautiful job documenting key insights along with updates in your posts. Please know that your valuable perspective, transparency, and immeasurable talent for communication have had a profound impact on me and my family, as I'm sure they have had on others.

And on that note, I want to thank you. I'm so thankful to know you, Rachel. I think so highly of you and your family. The love, admiration, and appreciation you all have for each other is a true blessing. The Permuth bond is an extremely strong one, there is no doubt about that. You all are a true team who does not leave a person unsupported, issue unhandled, topic unresearched, stone unturned, path untraveled, or initiative untaken. You all take action. What an absolute blessing you are to Nate, your parents, siblings, Mandy, and others; and in turn what a blessing they are to you. As you so wonderfully noted in a post, "At the same time, my relationship with my family is a beautiful thing." I am praying for comfort and peace for all of you. I wish you weren't going through this. I wish you weren't leaving. I wish cancer would just get the F out of the way and stop ruining people's lives. None of this is fair and none of this is right. What I know is that you bring people together and you will be in the hearts of those in your strong network that will carry on the charge to continue to fight this horrible disease.

We're sending prayers, love, and hugs, along with cheers to a celebration of your life. God Bless you, Rachel. You are truly one of a kind.

Kaleena & Family

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I, your cousin Ted, remember times in our childhood when our family got together, that you weren’t afraid ago speak up and you were full of ideas and good cheer.

Rachel, your humanity, integrity, and courage in the face of this, has been truly inspiring, and we love you. Always.

Love, Ted and Roxie

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We always had such a fun time when you came up to Minnesota with your mom, dad, Jenny and Matt.  It was so much fun listening and laughing at stories your dad and Lowell would tell about growing up.

We remember the first time you met Gigi.  The 2 of you went into a little gift shop at the Shalom Home. Gigi fell in love with a pair of earrings.  She left the store to get me to go buy them for her.  When you came back to the table a few minutes later you handed her a box wrapped up with a bow.  When she opened the box, inside were those earrings.  Gigi was so excited and immediately put them on.  Gigi still has those earrings today and it makes me smile whenever she wears them.

Randy and I were laughing were just laughing about a trip he took with Sam and his dad to see you and your family in Baltimore.  You made Sam who was age 5 feel so special.

You are an inspiration to all.
We love you, rsi, Randy, Rayna, Sam and Gigi

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Hi Rachel — though we live 1/2 country apart, you are someone I feel proud to call family.  You are a strong person — something I have always admired about you.  You say what you mean and mean what you say — admirable!  I remember when you were born and how happy I was to have a new cousin.  I recall visiting your family when you were small (in La Crescent) and the fact that you left an impression on me even then.  I hope that your journey is a peaceful and meaningful one, and that you keep ‘being you’ — you’ve taught me great lessons.  I love you!
Becky

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I don't even know why Rachel started calling me "poppy pants" or "specula". I think it had something to do with visits for cookies at Whole Foods combined with gynecology conversation, no?

I do not even know how I met Rachel. I know she was at NIH and I would do training there as a contractor. I think Lisa Johnson (via yoga) may have hooked us up because we were both teaching mindful eating. I had a little company called "Choosing You!" that did mindful eating on the side, and Rachel brought me into NIH or Mitre to do a presentation. Then she brought me into Sodexo with an ex to do some storytelling work when she was working in her research role there.

That is Rachel's "MO" - helping everyone, wanting to make things better for everyone else. Connecting people.

My memories are many: when she moved out of her home with her husband, when we would take long walks, our Whole Foods dessert exeditions, her potty mouth, the cancelation of that big NIH alternative healing conference for which she killed herself. After I left my second husband, we would have tv and frozen yogurt nights at my home in Grosvenor. I was amazed that Rachel could get through an entire chocolate frozen yogurt pint in one night (but she did so mindfully of course!). We were each other's emergency contacts. She introduced me to her single women's group, which was a bit depressing, I have to say.

At one point she had my ex and I do a review of a training site for Sodexo -- and we had a double date there for dinner. Enough said on her date.....She and I shared many dating and sex stories - neither of us having found quite the right fit. Just saying....

She is informally, the godmother of my Tally, my precious dog, who Rachel always loved -- albeit Tally was bumped to second, (but rightly so) by the adorable and mischievous Eli. I like to believe that her and Nate's love for Tally, led to her geting that crazy Eli.

Rachel is so full of life, candor, kindness and generosity. She is a connector - always bringing people together -- always wanting to do whatever she can do to help. At the same time, she, like me, is not quite used to having others do for her.

And she has opened herself to learning how -- to knowing how much we all love her, value her, appreciate her, honor her. How much she has touched our lives.

Rachel's candor and directness have helped me greatly. If it were not for her, I would not be typing on a computer in a girlfriend's house and left my husband who was a good man, but very traumatized and unkind to me.

She changes people's lives for the good. She is the good of all of us. It is so hard to just be here and send love and prayers yet not be able to do anything to fix things. But
I do trust she will be painfree when she is in the light.
I know she will be facilitiating relationships and connections in her next life with all those lucky spirits.

I love you Rachel,
Your Poppy Pants

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Rachel, I remember when we met working for Sodexo in 2018. You were helping me with a project for Danone. We probably complained more about all the changes we needed to make on this particular survey... but I am glad we did ...as that was how our "work friendship" started. By the way, they are still truly awesome clients. You see, I was always impressed with your insights and knowledge then. It became even more evident as I followed your journey over the past 2 years. I am not sure your really know the positive impact you have made on me and how your insights continue to help. When Nino suffered a traumatic brain injury in January 2017 my family's world was rocked. ( You and Nino also share Feb 2 birthdays- the pix I chose to share with you is us on his 60th birthday- the boys rented him a Bentley for the day!) There was so much to process then, and still today with continued care, finances, etc., somedays I just do not know how I do it. Not sure if you knew his TBI was a result of medical malpractice. Reading your blogs provided me with great knowledge and emotional support. I know cancer and TBI's are different animals, however the human spirit rises above in both... and you have showed me that through your insights. Thank you my friend for allowing me to be a part of your journey and for all your valuable insights that continue to help me on our family's journey. I love you! Joanne Martino

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I met Rachel at an interview for Sodexo. I had already been told she was amazing. And she is! Super smart, Super intelligent, super communication skills. Accomplished. Determined. Knows her stuff. Small with a soft voice, and mighty!
I always learned something working with Rachel. She had to teach me about her and her team's brainchild of the Workplace Trends (which by the way went global, a huge accomplishment)as I wanted to add all sorts of marketing ideas...and she had to teach me that is not how a trends document works...:) I caught on....

Gentle, focused, welcoming, approachable. Rachel could make the complicated easy to understand to the laymen, making you feel at ease when she educated you on her work. She served as an enormous role with the sales team.

Personally, what I love about Rachel is her laugh, a wonderful contagious, hearty laugh that invites you to join her.  She is mother earth. A caring terrific mother, she loved telling stories about Nate and the dog.

Rachel, I admire you, your life, your talking to us about what is happening. Sharing it all. There are so many people that love you. Please feel it, the hugs, the tears and the laughter. You are unique and have made such a difference in a short space of life. It is unfair as we all stand by, wringing our hands, our hearts. Just know you are not alone. Hold on and be comforted by your faith. You are on our minds, our hearts, our prayers. I love you Rachel.
Lisa

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Dear Rachel (aka Nos, Gali, Pen, Rios),

You have been my very best friend for 45 years and you are always present in my life, even though we have lived many miles apart for most of it. I think of you all the time, sending pictures when I see a delicious bakery item (or a disgusting one that no one should order), sharing a story over text when something great happens, like unexpectedly getting a discount or a free dessert, laughing to myself in certain scenarios, imagining how you and I would react if we were together, or just thinking of you when I’m eating Indian or Ethiopian food. We became best friends when we were two years old, and when you left Peoria when we were 10 or 11, I was devastated, but our bond has never broken. Though we have been separated by thousands of miles, I am so happy that we have managed to see each other as often as we have for all of these years. We have traveled everywhere: driving through the desert from Las Vegas to Sedona to L.A. (via Needles), visiting Boston, New York, Santa Fe (you took such great care of me when I had food poisoning; the sorbet was the best), Quebec (where our food items at the buffet were weighed in grams), Atlanta (we became famous on CNN), Cuba, and Paris.

We have so many fun memories, too many to name, but some that always make us laugh include the delivery of the full-sized chocolate cake to our hotel room in Boston, just because they had no chocolate left during the happy hour reception and we shared our sadness with the front desk staff, calling people from our Bradley dorm room to tell them that we were conducting a survey on behalf of the APA (the P didn’t stand for “psychological”), walking 5 miles in Paris to eat at the famous falafel place only to find they had just closed for Shabbat, throwing rocks on the roof and stealing poster puddy off the posters hanging on the wall at the temple during Hebrew school, and reminiscing about our dancing days – we were the best in our classes, always placed front and center in our recitals, though you looked the best in the pink tutu while I had to wear blue. We have laughed, and many times, behaved, like kids throughout our teens, 20’s, 30’s, and 40’s, singing songs about pets, reciting lines from Best in Show, and calling Papa John’s to order a pizza with pepperoni and aaaaaahhhh (caller ID ruined our fun).

I will always think about our times together and laugh, and I count myself lucky to have a best friend like you. You are beautiful inside and out, and your intelligence, humor, and the kindness you show to others are unmatched. When people interact with you, they are visibly more cheerful after having done so. You can engage anyone in conversation, and I have always loved watching how people open up to you. When we were kids, my mom always told people that talking to you was like talking to an adult, and the adults loved talking to you at birthday parties and events. You truly have a gift for communicating. I admire how much you’ve accomplished in your life personally and professionally, and seeing how Nate has matured into a bright, insightful, and funny young man has been amazing.

Pen, I can’t imagine life without you. You’re my best friend, you’re like the sister I never had, and your family is my second family. Let me conclude with a hymn that we have enjoyed for many years: Pen ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni ni niiiiiii. I will think about you everyday, and I can’t wait until we see each other again, with Ponch. I love you, Nos.

💗Mandy (aka Nos, Gali, Pen, Rios)

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Rachel, just look at Nate and what a great person he has become, you should be so proud of yourself.  I am very grateful that I got to know you and my boys are very lucky to have you in their lives.  You are a caring mom and a great friend we will remember and cherish forever!

With all our loves,
- Hope (Allen, Alvin and Mason)

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Link to Hope's video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1ouadRYouGcYyX-PWRz1YLsqqVctlwTlm/view?usp=drivesdk

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Dear Rachel,

We met 20+ years ago, as grad students at the University of Maryland and I was so happy to count you as a friend. We made it through a field trip to Annapolis - I don't remember why a Higher Ed grad class needed to go on a field trip, but we had fun and it gave me a chance to get to know you and learn how amazingly fun, smart, and caring you are. We shared tales of Jewish singles events and then you gave me the greatest gift ever - you set me up with Gary. I can say definitively that you had an incredible impact on my life and I am forever grateful. Without you, I wouldn't have met him, fell in love, moved to Boston, and gotten married. I owe you a thousand thank yous for your wisdom in matching us up.

All my love to you and your family,

Jennifer Weisman

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So thankful out paths crossed in the Buy Nothing Group. Your generosity with the group and community at large gave me a focus on the good in humanity through some crazy times. I don't know you well outside the group but I do know you love your family deeply, you take pride in what you do, and your work ethic throughout treatments has been inspiring. I pray that your providers ease your discomfort all the rest of the days of your life. I support all of your brave decisions. Thank you for allowing me to be a part of your life and inspiring me to focus on the good, honor the bad, and open your heart to others. Love, Jen Cole

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Rachel and I met in a Facebook group where I responded to her post, a question right before her first chemo. Having had chemo myself I gave her tips on how to prevent neuropathy and such.
We connected right away on so many topics…from getting through cancer, to family, friends, research, dating , pilates to a preference for Spa Days and more.
I posted a video here too ...

Rachel has a gift of expressing her feelings and thoughts so eloquently. That’s who she is, kind and honest… the 'I have no time for BS and here is how it is'…  it is a gift to everyone with or with cancer…
Her writing is important… I am so sad that she has to go through all this … and I hope that the writing can be published for a broader audience.
I also hope something will come up to change the path of the disease… to make it manageable to have Rachel write for many more years and be my friend.

A High End Spa day for us is waiting in NYC, Rachel … and of course it would be great to see Nate and the rest of the family as well.
Thank you Rachel for who you are… and for your generosity in sharing.

Xo thessy mehrain

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Our friendship & Thanks for being who you are xo

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Our friendship & Thanks for being who you are xo

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Sweetest Rachel!
I met you through Sodexo where we both worked with Workplace experience. When you visited Sweden I was so impressed by your knowledge and we shared some great moments during a short amount of time. Also remember we where laughing when we where going to take photos for an article and I was SOO much taler than you. It turned out to be a great photo of us at the Nordic House HQ in Stockholm when we both sat down! (I’ll try to find the photo!)
We both left Sodexo but stayed in touch and you where so helpful every time I reach out to you, no matter what the question was. Work, potential move to US or work opportunities! So grateful to have known you, Rachel! 🇺🇸🇸🇪❤️❤️❤️

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I've known you for quite a long time although I have not gotten to see you in more recent years. Thankfully the power of social media keeps connections like ours going. Our paths crossed at NCI and I'm so thankful they did. It's shared over and over on here already, but I'll always treasure the inspiration you give out even when you're not trying...simply being a powerful and smart thinker, direct, honest and funny. I enjoyed a few walks, a lot of career talk and at least one visit to your home getting to meet Nate. I remember learning from you through your head-on and straight talk about motherhood, organizations and just life. I was in awe of the creative bold thinking with humor woven in. Also probably intimidated at times thinking I am definitely not as strong or cool,lol.  I lucked out in getting a new friend in Lidia through you and we treasure her as part of our family. Thank you. Over the last year, I've read everything you post and have learned something every time. I am honored to have been included in witnessing how you've faced such incredible challenges and truly left your mark. I will cherish it forever.
Sincerely,
Wendy Whitaker

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I've known you since the day you born.  I was at your Naming Ceremony.  I remember how thrilled your parents were.  As you got a little older I used to read you stories.  You had them memorized because I would read each sentence, leaving off the last word, and you would fill in the word, with perfect pronunciation.  I enjoyed those story times as much as you did.  As you grew up you touched many people's lives, and they are better people for it.  I followed your Meal Train posts and I can't tell you how much I admire your courage.  I know your family is so proud of your accomplishments.
Love,
Roger Gershin

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Rachel, you were my first and only mentor I’ve had in my 15 years of working at NIH. I reached out to you because I had seen you in action and thought you were so sharp, quick witted, and creative and I wanted to hear how you had navigated being yourself and making things happen. I will never forget the time that you took to meet with me and make a personal connection, even sharing the coding from your mentoring website, as someone much more seasoned in her career while I was just getting started at the same agency. I have always admired your candor, intelligence, and downright authenticity. You stood out to me in a large sea of people and I have and will never forget you. I regret not realizing what was going on with you these past years and only hope that you know that I am wishing all the best for you and your family and hoping that you can pass your remaining time without any more pain. You have made a difference in so many ways- and I’m one of them.
I’m not sure how to say goodbye so I’ll say until later - and thank you. Elena Juris

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You are a rock star. That was my first impression upon meeting you in 2011 and still my impression to this day. When we met, you had this super badass job at NHLBI as the Director of Wellness. I had just started on the Wellness team at Lockheed Martin. We bonded over work, career, having young kids, etc. (btw, you may not remember but Nate and I share a birthday!) Then, you. went to Sodexo and reinvented yourself and took your career in a new direction. I was always so impressed. I enjoyed staying in touch over the years and getting together occasionally. Last time I saw you, I delivered a dozen Bethesda Bagels since they had just opened in Wildwood up the street from me.

At the beginning of your diagnosis, I shared  information on my husband’s journey with the Big C never wanting you to feel forgotten or unseen. Most people are scared to ask people how they are doing and check in regularly when faced with something so challenging. We never forgot that feeling and always tried to pay it forward and help others who are scared? know they are not alone.

I have read every single Meal Train post and your words, wit, rawness, and wisdom (and a bit of sass and sarcasm) were refreshing. Someone needs to publish a book of these posts!!!

Hope the rest of your journey is comfortable and you are at peace with not leaving anything on the table. You’re an amazing mom, sister, daughter, friend and role model. You have touched the lives of so many! ❤️ -Carrie Zisman

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Dear Rachel,    We first met during your interview for your first role with the company.   You made such an impression on us all and it was an easy and unanimous decision!   I've so enjoyed our varied adventures and getting to know you during our work on projects, on varied trips, and even seeing you in action when were were pulled over and ticketed for that very silly reason after leaving a meeting at Corning!    Your amazing mind, delightful (and quirky) humor and genuine warmth make me smile.   I'm picturing you in front of varied client teams...talking and illustrating and the audience on the edge of their seats....walking through London with you and Elizabeth J. and you explaining how you and Nate play Pokeman Go....talking about life, work, Nate, puppies, yoga, and so much more. I don't have photos of you to share, so am sharing one of me and Milo.

I treasure you! Kathy (and Milo)

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This picture makes me smile. Do you remember when we went to the Apple Butter Festival in West VA, must have been late 90s? Of course that's something we would do! And I must mention our Indian food and movie escapades and our search of the best pho place using all the BOGO coupons we could! Ah yes, you taught me all about coupons and getting good deals. Oh and even my mom started selling books on Amazon after you taught me all the tricks!

I'm so glad we've remained friends since our Westat years. We might not see each other that frequently anymore, but I love how we can get together and have it seem like no time has passed. Do you remember coming to my class to "teach" and we just told stories and had fun? My students probably thought we were crazy old ladies, but we were definitely inspiring the next generation to go into public health, for sure. 😁

I have always admired your unwavering acceptance of others, your ability to negotiate and advocate, and your authenticity. I am so grateful for our friendship and will treasure it forever.❤️

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Dearest Rachel,  I am so happy we got to work together on our shared food service project!   I was so impressed in getting to know you, that first and foremost you are a kind, thoughtful human being and over the course of our work, that's what seemed to  matter the most to you.  You can do good work and still know that it's the relationships you form as you go that is the most important of all.  The fact that I think of you as a dear friend, is a testament to who you are as a person.

I read every line and every thought of your posts and think of them as a guide to all of us for what will come.  Your honesty, courage, humor, and unflappable human connection makes me hope that I will be able face the inevitable the way you are.

Nate, I don't know you but I want to tell you how incredibly lucky you are to have Rachel as your mom.  But I know you must know that!!  She talked about you often and every time she did, the pride she has in you jumped right through the phone and I would think "that's one lucky kid".  I know she has given you an incredibly strong foundation to go out and live a rich, happy life.

Love to you Rachel and from the bottom of my heart, thank you for sharing this journey.

--Lorraine Wallace

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Rachel - we first met when our “babies” played basketball together. I always enjoyed our chats in the bleachers and our shared love of cheering Robbie and Nate on the court. Years later I was thrilled when I saw your friendly face in front of me at Foundry, reassuring me that I could do it. I will remember those moments and you so very fondly. I am so sorry for all you have been through and will keep you, Nate and your family close to my heart.  With love and peace, Rachel.💛

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Rachel - we first met when our “babies” played basketball together. I always enjoyed our chats in the bleachers and our shared love of cheering Robbie and Nate on the court. Years later I was thrilled when I saw your friendly face in front of me at Foundry, reassuring me that I could do it. I will remember those moments and you so very fondly. I am so sorry for all you have been through and will keep you, Nate and your family close to my heart.  With love and peace, Rachel.💛

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Christine Gresham

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Rachel, my middle school and high school friend. I remember so many times hanging at your house—you were always so friendly and sweet—and that never changed throughout our years together at school. I always felt entirely comfortable and perfectly able to be myself when I was with you. You can’t say that about many people. No, we didn’t stay in touch, but I never forgot you and never will. I wish you so much peace and comfort and a heart full of love. ❤️♥️♥️

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Rich Pencek

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I wish I didn't have to write this but I love that I get to tell you what you mean to me.  I don't remember exactly when we met in grad school but I just always remember you being there.  You came into my life when I was very lost and alone and starting over.  Even though you are younger than me you, you felt like a wise big sister.  You were just so welcoming and confident.  I was a commuter student living in Clearwater and you always let me come hang with you in your apartment close to campus.  If we had a hard day, we would dance it out.  We would dance it out regardless!!   I can't remember anything I learned in grad school (21 years of mom brain will do that do you) but I do remember you most of all.  I'm not good at remembering small details in my life, but I can remember the silliest things about our friendship and it feels like it was just yesterday.  You are such an important person to me and I will cherish our friendship forever.

I remember vividly this picture being taken.  We were on a vacation away to Key Largo, just the two of us.  This was taken right before (or maybe after lol) one too many rum runners.  It was such a special trip.  I remember telling you that 26 was going to be my year.  I didn't know what would happen but I was finally ready for whatever it was.  It just so happened that I met the love of my life shortly thereafter and you were there to share all of that with me.  I love how you welcomed him in just as you did me.  Ted and I both still talk about the Passover dinner you hosted at your apartment and what a great evening that was.

It's so hard to put into words what is in my heart.  Just know I love you.  You are fierce, loving, loyal, crazy smart and an amazing friend and person.  You will always be my one and only Lamb.

Jennifer Copeland