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My sister is pregnant and since it's her first baby it's a big deal. Her friends and my family are starting to plan the baby shower. The ideas for the baby theme they brought up made me think a lot since I have learned so much from this class. They said if it's a boy the theme should be lions, eagles, strong animals they were thinking of masculinity. However, if it's a girl they were thinking of kittens, rabbits, soft and cute animals. I don't blame them at all because this is what they see in society. Since baby showers are always blue, pink, feminine and masculine.

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I am an Arab woman and this already puts a lot of pressure on me and my relationship. As an Arab woman I have to follow what the society is saying on the gender role ideology. It suggests that women should be caretakers, homemakers and men fulfill their family roles. This was really hard for me in my relationship. It creates pressure on both of us that we start to argue a lot. We were trying to fulfill the role of what society is telling us and the family. Staying at home was super difficult for me because I am used to working. He loves cooking but is worried about admitting it to his family. I am a horrible cook while hes great and enjoys it. Then we decided to balance what makes us happy. At the end of the day no one needs to know what is happening in our relationship.

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Growing up I was never girlish and I never understood gender socialization. I was always playing with boys, playing with cars, loved climbing and my grandmother was always worried about me. If I played with cars instead of barbie dolls my grandmother would yell at me. I had long hair and I wasn't supposed to cut it and my grandmother said “long hair is for girls and short hair is for boys”. Now that my nephew is always with me, I do not force any type of toys on him because he is a boy. I let him play with anything he wants and chooses. He has been playing with rabbit stuffed animals and I don't mind as long as he's happy . I do not say this is for "girls" don't play with it. I am trying to let him be a kid that I was not allowed to be.

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I am heterosexual and heterosexuality is not the only thing I grow up knowing in NYC. I was educated to accept everyone no matter who they are. In my culture being heterosexual is VERY important and that's the only thing they accept. When a man marries a woman he is viewed as a good person. The same goes for a woman if she marries a man she's a good woman. If anyone is not heterosexual no one will accept them. A lot of people are silent, afraid to talk about their feelings that is beyond heterosexuality because they know they will be an outcast.

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Feminine is very important in my culture and there's a lot of pressure. In my culture I have to act feminine because I am a woman. It was upheld due to ideas of society and men. It was an idea that feminine that forces women in my culture to devote their lives to being housewives, mothers, and to focus on their husbands in the name of femininity. It was hard to break these rules in a strongly believed culture but my mother made it happen. Living in NYC is one of the easiest ways to break this culture's beliefs. I believe NYC is the only place where I can be anything. My mom taught me, my sisters, and brothers that femininity is to be kind, strong, smart, not to be afraid, to be educated, to accomplish all dreams, to be respected and to be just who we are. I have learned that not every person can escape their nightmare. So, I am grateful for where I am today and who I have become.