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Why is Peter Pan always flying?

He neverlands.

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Why are elevator jokes so good?

They work on many levels.

What did the right eye say to the left eye?

Between you and me,something smells.

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why should you not give Elsa a balloon?
BECUASE SHE WILL LET IT GO!!!

what kind of shoes do burglars wear?
SNEAKERS!!!

why did an old man fall into the well?
BECAUSE HE COULD NOT SEE THE WELL WELL!!!

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What fruits do ghost like

Strawboo-rises

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 Ariq           Where does vampire's keep their money

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 Ariq           Where does vampire's keep their money

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IN THE BLOOD BANK

Why do cow's like movies

BECAUSE IT'S A MOOO - VIE

Who is the best weather man

A TALL MAN~ Ariq

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I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost the case

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Last one I promise they r so funny.

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How do trees online?
(They log in😀)
What is the boxers favourite part of the joke?
(The punch line)
Why is mountains so funny?
(Because they are hill-arous)
Why dark is spelled with k not c
(Because u cant c in the dark)
What do you call a magical bruh
(A-bruh-cadabra)

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How does a penguin make its house?

Igloos it together!

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knock,knock!
who's there?
Jester.
jester who?
jester minute.I'm still thinking.

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Why did the gym close down ?
Because it just didn’t work out .

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What did the Ghost of Christmas past hate about Christmas?
He never got a present! 🤣

Have you heard about the guy who invented the knock knock jokes?
He  won the "no bell"  prize!👍

What sports do bugs like best?
Cricket! :-)

The broom was late for its meeting today .
It said it over swept! 😆

What do you call a caveman's fart
A Blast from the past!  😂

Why are football stadiums so cool
Because there is a fan in every seat😆

Knock knock
Who's there
Lettuce
Lettuce who
Let us in, it is freezing out here!

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(My friend told me this and I found it funny so I decided to share it)
So Albert Einstein was waiting for a plane. He said to the indian guy sitting next to him, “ It’s going to be a long flight. How about we play a game? I will ask you a question and if you can’t answer it you will give me five dollars. Then you will ask me a question and if I can’t answer it I will give you five hundred dollars.” The Indian man agreed, thinking this was a great deal. “I’ll go first.” Albert Einstein said. “What is the distance between the earth and the moon?” The Indian man thought and thought and said, “ I do not know the exact answer to that, here is five dollars.” For the Indian man’s turn, he said, “What goes up the hill with three legs and comes down with four?” Albert Einstein went through all his knowledge of science and could not find out the answer so he gave the Indian man five hundred dollars. When it was his turn Albert Einstein asked him, “Before I ask my question what does go up the hill with three legs and comes down with four?”
The Indian man put his hand in his pocket and gave him five dollars.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7?

...because 789
(get it? seven ate nine)

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Why don't pirates take
a shower before they
walk the plank?
They just wash up on shore.

What did the
fish say when
he swam into
a wall?
Dam.

What do you
call a fish with
no eyes?
a fsh

What do you call
a can opener that
doesn'
"'t work?
Acan'"'t opener!
"'

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What did the Thai say when he made a mistake with money?
Thai Bhat. ( My bad) Thai Bhat is the currency in Thailand

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Where do sheep go on vacation?
The baa-Hamas
I’m so funny hehe
I have a fear of speed bumps
But I’m slowly getting over it
What do dentists call their X-rays?
Tooth pics!!
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk!!
Why did the farmer win an award?
He was outstanding in his field!

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1) Why do we tell actors to "break a leg?"

Because every play has a cast

2)What type of tea is hard to swallow?

Reality

3) I used to hate facial hair
But it grew on me

4)Why did the scarecrow get an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field

5)I don't want to brag but I finished a puzzle in one week and the box said 2-4 years!!!

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Where does a cow go for holiday?

MOOyork

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What did the shark say when he ate a clown fish?

This taste a little funny

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I kinda wanted to make a joke on vegetables but i thought it was to corny

(So goofy) 💀💀💀

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Why did the robber jump in the shower

So

he could have a clean getaway

(So goofy) 💀💀💀💀

(Total did not steal from google) 🙂

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I find these funny

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why did the frog take the bus to work today?

His car got toad away

hahahahaha

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1]why did the bicycle collapse?

It was two tired

2]why did it take so long for the pirates to learn the alphabet?

They got stuck at C

3]A man tells his doctor ,"Doc I am addicted to twitter!"

the doctor answers ,"Sorry I don't follow you."

4]What type of sandals do frogs wear?

Open-toad

5] I tried to sue the airport for misplacing my luggage.

I lost my case

6]The other day my sister asked for me lipstick .However I gave her a glue stick.

she still is not talking to me.

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1. What did sushi A say to sushi B? Wasabi! (what's up B?)

2. Have you heard about the new restaurant called karma?
There is no menu in it. You get what you deserve.

3. What did the ocean say to the sand?
... Nothing! It just waved!

4. Why are piggy banks so wise?
... They have common cents! (common sense)

5. Why can't the bicycle stand on it's own?
... Because it is two tired!

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What do you call a sleeping bull?

A bulldozer.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite.

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1.  what kind of shoes do spies wear?

Sneakers!

2.   What did one pencil say to the other?

Ooo You look sharp today!

3.   Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

Because it felt crummy!

4.  What dinosaur had the best vocabulary

the  Theasaurus

5. Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

Because his car got toad away.

6.  What kind of music do mummies listen to?

Wrap music

7.  What did the traffic light say to the cars?

Don't look I am about to change!

8.  Ever tried to eat a clock? It's time - consuming.

9. Ya think swimming with dolphins is expensive?  Well swimming with sharks cost me an arm and a leg!  😂😂

10.   What do you call a pig that does karate?

A pork chop!

11.  What do you call a can opener that doesnt work?

A can't opener!

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1) Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Needle.
Needle who?
Needle little money for the movies.

2) Q: What do you get when you cross a fish and drumsticks?
A: Fishsticks.

3) Q: What do you get when you cross a caterpillar and a parrot?
A: A walkie talkie!

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1.Why don't scientists trust atoms?

Because they make up everything!

2. What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

A cat has claws at the end of its paws; a comma is a pause at the end of a clause!

3.What did the left eye say to the right eye?

Between you and me, something smells!

4.What do you call a fake noodle?

An impasta! (impostor)

5.What did one hat say to the other?

You wait here. Ill go on a-head!

6.What do you call a magic dog?

A labracadabrador! (labrador)

7.What did the shark say when he ate the clown fish?

This tastes a little funny!

8.Why did the frog take the bus to work today?

his car got toad away!

9.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?

Because he lost his filling!

10.What breed of dog can jump higher than buildings?

Any dog; buildings can't jump!

11.Why did the M&M go to school?

It wanted to be a Smartie!

12.Why do bees have sticky hair?

Because they use honey-combs!

13.How do you throw a space party?

You planet! (plan it)

14.The numbers 20 and 19 got in to a fight.

21! (20 won)

15.Want to hear a construction joke?

Oh never mind! I'm still working on it!

16.Two artists had an art contest.

It ended in a draw!

17.How do trees get online?

They just logged in!

18.Can February march?

No, but April may!

19.Why does Humpty Dumpty like autumn?

Because Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!

20.Where do fish sleep?

In the riverbed!

20.Why couldn't the leopard play hide-and-seek?

He was always spotted!

21.What's the most dangerous fruit?

A pomegranade! (pomegranate)

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Why do golfers bring two pairs of pants?
In case they get a hole in one.

Why can't you trust a burrito?
Cause it will spill the beans.

What is an astronaut's favorite part on a computer?
The space bar.

Did you hear about the guy who cut off the left side of his body?
He's all right now.

What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop.

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1)  What type of boat does a vampire like

A blood vessel🧛‍♂️🩸

2)  what did the ghost call his parents

Transparents👻

3)why did the picture go to jail

Because it was framed🖼

4)2 artists had an art contest

But it ended up ending with a draw🖌

5)people day break a leg to actors because......

Every play has a cast🦵

6)why did the gym close down

Because things just didn't work out 💪

7)why do bees have sticky hair

Because they use honeycombs🍯🐝

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Knock knock
Who’s there?
Nobel
Nobel who
No-bell that’s why I knocked

What do Lionel Messi and a magician have in common ?

They both do hat-tricks ( in football terms is 3 goals)

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Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut?

He just needs a little space.

What’s the best thing about Switzerland?

I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus.

Why do we tell actors the break a leg?

Because every play has a cast.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes?

A no eye-deer

What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no eye-deer

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How does a scientist freshen her breath?With experi-mints.