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So much has happened over the past couple of months; I honestly can’t believe I’m still alive. (Pattern 1) I’m so sick of everyone looking up to me, being scared of me, yet not even showing me any respect. (Pattern 2) In a few hours we are going to invade one of the best guarded prisons in all of Norta; therefore we are all a little more than a little nervous.(Pattern 3) Some more than others. In fact, Cal was just saying how he hates Elara for brainwashing Maven, hates Maven for his betrayal, hates the stupid rabbit we have to eat everyday, and hates just about everything else about the situation they put us in. (Pattern 4) To that, I had no response. (Pattern 5) Because he wasn’t wrong. We are enormously outnumbered -if not by power than by numbers- and there is nothing we can do about that.(Pattern 9) Doomed are we. (Pattern 6) It especially hurts me to see Cal so devastated, wretched, dreadful, because that’s exactly how I feel. (Pattern 11) Burdened by the fate of the new bloods, I dread the outcome of our attempt at invading Corros. (Pattern 10) I keep going over what Julian had told me, so many months ago: you are both Red and Silver, and stronger than both, you are the future, you are the new dawn. (Pattern 7) Before everything happened, I believed him. (Pattern 8) Now I’m not so sure. I don’t think I can be as strong as he thought or lead others to the victory we need or create a new future for Norta. (Pattern 12) I can’t even make a 15 year old girl train for more than thirty minutes. How am I supposed to conquer the whole of Norta and overthrow Maven when he is so much stronger than me? I can’t. (Pattern 14) All I know is that after today everything will be different, and I will either be celebrating, or dead. (Pattern 2) Celebration seems impossible; funeral, likely. (Pattern 15) So let’s find out. (Pattern 13)

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A Cry For Help

Our government is corrupt. The king killed his father and framed his brother in order to gain control and is now turning the entire kingdom into chaos. Not only are the reds horribly mistreated, he’s killing thousands of people every day fighting a war that should have ended years ago. So many people are suffering just to keep the government’s secrets intact and I’m sick of fighting for basic human rights. We should not be hunted down just because the silvers are afraid of us. We need to bring the government to an end.

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Before today I was much more hopeful about our cause, now I’m not so sure. After everything we’ve been through in the past hour I couldn’t stand to even look at the little boy. Hanging. Just because we couldn’t get there fast enough. Couldn’t fight off the guards and get through the city any faster. We were too slow and now this boy - not much older than twelve years old - had to hang for things he couldn’t even control. I know I will never get that sight out of my brain just like I’ll never get out the grimace Shade wore when looking at him. It’s times like these when I truly begin to doubt if we’re ever going to get to these people in time. Maven - the now self proclaim king - has all the resources to find them and we can barely stay alive walking on the side of a street.

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I can’t believe I had to leave Shade behind. I know in the end I didn’t have a choice and Cal has done more than enough to make that clear but it feels wrong. Like my skin is all inside out. Thinking that my brother could be the perfect distraction, while he’s getting beaten to his death and I’m running across the city trying to find new bloods that might not even want to join our cause. But of course Shade can’t die, if it comes to it he’ll use his powers. He’ll save himself. He’ll survive. He always has. Through the city I ran as my thoughts filled with regret.

Until we came to the square. The square filled with dead bodies that the silvers killed. The square filled with innocent people that were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. A square filled with dead bodies that families were going to mourn and people who were never going to get funerals just because they were born red and not silver. The sight filled me with rage, made me forget about Shade and realize our true cause. Remember that every new blood we find is one step closer to our red dawn.

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I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around everything that happened this week. Even just today. We have recruited our first new blood yet I don’t feel any closer to recruiting the rest. That’s not even true, I did feel rather hopeful after the fact, until I found that Maven had not only sent out all the silver soldiers to look for me and Cal, but also turned all of the red gangs against me. I can’t even blame them thought because I know that if I was in their situation and Maven had taken someone from me in exchange for my capture. Quite honestly, I would do the exact same thing; however, I can’t wait to make him pay, bring his whole stupid kingdom down and end all the suffering. Being in the red village after so many months today really triggered something, I didn’t even realize how much I’ve missed it. Not being poor, but being surrounded by my family and friends. Knowing that even though I will die eventually it probably won’t be today or tomorrow and not having to worry about a whole new population of new bloods that I have to recruit into an army.