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Hello Jacob! One strength in your piece “Seattle kraken: the newest way to hockey” is your titles. One of your titles that I really enjoyed is “Simple Seattle basics” . I feel like it got the point across well.  One other strength in your piece is

Your hook. It has some really good word choices that enhance it. One wish I have for your backgrounds. Some were good and some were not so good like on the closing slide.

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Hi brother, One star I have for you is that you made your slides look very nice. I really liked the toned down colors because I had very bright colors so it was a nice change. Another star I have is that you wrote in paragraphs instead of bullets which was unique.However one wish that I had was that you should have lowered the amount of photos at the end. It seemed very chaotic and a bit overwhelming. Other than that good job on your presentation.

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Hey, Jacob! To begin, throughout your whole paragraph you have added great transition words that perfectly connected the parts of your paragraph together. For example  transition words like “one example of this” and “ another time showing this message” really connected those parts together. To add on, you added great amounts of detail into parts that were not needed but made them sound a hundred times better then they did before. However, one thing that could have been worked on I believe was maybe adding more detail and explanation into the first part of your explanation.

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Hey Jacob! I loved your essay and I loved how descriptive it was really a picture of the parts of the shorts that you were talking about something in that you could’ve worked on is adding more transition words. I also sent is for you, sister they were just not enough transition words in my opinion. But I loved your paragraph and I just take it. You did great.

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Hi Jacob, Something I really liked about your piece was the word choice, it was really nice to see the different words you used throughout your piece, for example when you said the big blue bird is mocked by the little navy blue birds for looking funny as his feathers produced a fountain like cover. Another thing that I liked about your piece was your description in the characters, for example when you said “the navy little birds”. Something that I would recommend would be to look at the word you already used and  make sure there’s no repetition.

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Something that I really liked about your piece was that you were very descriptive with your theme, meaning you had a very clean explanation on what your theme was. Another thing I really liked was  your nice word choice, you had great words in places I would have never thought of. Something that I would recommend would be to look at the word you already used so that there’s no repetition.

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Hi Jacob! One star in your piece Per Suing Piper was the amount of strong word choice that you used. Because of the amount of strong word choise I really belive your theme. Another star that I have for you is that your piece was very long so I got lots of evidence and explanation. With the amount I really got to know what you thought and that made me very convinced. My third star is that I liked how you started and ended very direct. I think that being direct with the reader starts to make them think your opinion. Amazing job!

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Hi Jacob! Great job with your essay. One thing that I really liked in the essay was how you really explained the evidence well. I also liked how you used strong word choice throughout the essay. One thing I think you could have done a bit better on was the descriptive scenes. I think that you could have made it a little more like a scene. Great job though

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Hi, Jacob!!! A strength of your essay “Sports, The obvious answer to sacking focus and attention problems while teaching” Was your amazing details and creative word chose I really loved it when you said Imagine if all kids could feel this excitement! It really made me stop reading and think about that so amazing job with your details and creative word choice. Another strength of you essay is your explanation I felt like it was not to long but not to short. It really held good information in it. It really help me realize what you were trying to say. One wish in your essay is your title I felt like your title gave more information about what you were talking about then it should had. For example, maybe you could have said Sacking focus and attention. Overall your essay was amazing!!!

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Hey Jacob! ⭐️I liked how long your story was, how creative you were to incorporate a part 2 in your story.⭐️ another thing I liked in your story is  your word choice. Some words I liked were: taunting,despair, prophecy. Speaking of prophecy is I liked your “prophecy of death” I thought it was very creative.🧞‍♂️ one thing I wish you could of done is not made your prophecy of death so repetitive. What I mean is you made the paper say the same thing twice

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Hi Jacob!!A strength that I saw In your story was definitely the description and your creativity. I really loved how you added emotion too. Another strength that I think you had was the rush of action art points like for example *I heard the shoe store employee scream “He has the wacky shoes back up NOW”*another great attribute that was great was when you put in the book/manual (I think) it really made the story feel more lively.

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I think that your peace was very descriptive and that i hope you were talking about me  Because I was the one who played you and got the game tied, I don't even know how I hit that ball because I dealt no power whatsoever. Another thing I really liked was how it was really long because the longer it is the more descriptive. One wish I have is that you should shorten it just Maybe one page or 2 because that took like 3 years to read but either than that i think that it was a really cool peace.

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I think that your peace was very descriptive and that i hope you were talking about me  Because I was the one who played you and got the game tied, I don't even know how I hit that ball because I dealt no power whatsoever. Another thing I really liked was how it was really long because the longer it is the more descriptive. One wish I have is that you should shorten it just Maybe one page or 2 because that took like 3 years to read but either than that i think that it was a really cool peace.

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The star that I will give to you is that your description was up and out the roof like when you said  “my teammates tossed a ball to each other like shooting stars or rockets”, i thought that was very CREATIVE. Another star that i will give you is that you put a really nice description to what you were thinking like “ nis not the time to be looking at scenery Jacob, even though there is a lot to look at, Stop letting your eyes take over  just focus this is the championship game it's now or never. Something i would recommend though is speeding some parts of you memoir up, I found myself being bored because some of you parts were so long 

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The star that I will give to you is that your description was up and out the roof like when you said  “my teammates tossed a ball to each other like shooting stars or rockets”, i thought that was very CREATIVE. Another star that i will give you is that you put a really nice description to what you were thinking like “ nis not the time to be looking at scenery Jacob, even though there is a lot to look at, Stop letting your eyes take over  just focus this is the championship game it's now or never. Something i would recommend though is speeding some parts of you memoir up, I found myself being bored because some of you parts were so long 