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Hi! I really like your slides, you have a lot of information. You wrote a lot of information. Your slides were really cute, I loved the designs. I also liked how they fit your topic. However you could have added a bit more detail on your facts. They were good but not strong enough.

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Hi! A strength in your informational piece was the topic you chose. It was very interesting to read about, and unique. You also did a great job on your conclusion. It was very creative and closed the piece out very well. However I would suggest going over spelling and grammar  one more time. But other than that you did an amazing job.

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Cami hey soph! I really liked how in your slides you showed different kinds of design that you can make with rainbow looks. I also really liked how if the slide color was green then the pictures you put on that slide were green.  A wish that i had is that maybe your facts and stuff was more detailed.

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Cami hey soph! I really liked how in your slides you showed different kinds of design that you can make with rainbow looks. I also really liked how if the slide color was green then the pictures you put on that slide were green.  A wish that i had is that maybe your facts and stuff was more detailed.

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Hi Sophie, I really liked how you used different transition words/phrases throughout your piece. I also really like the evidence you chose to use in both of your evidence part. I do wish that maybe you would've done a different theme or worded it differently because the way you wrote it was a little confusing.

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Your 2nd wife (or 3rd I lost count)/Nina 

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Your 2nd wife (or 3rd I lost count)/Nina 

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Hi Sophie! I really liked your transition words you used, for they were all different, and were not similar to others i’ve seen, an example being, “This demonstrates the theme because..” In addition to that I also really liked your way of explaining the evidence, and helped me understand the evidence more. I do think you could have been more clear with your evidence though, for struggled to understand some of it.

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Hey Sophie! First off, your transition words really stood out to me. I thought your transitions made you pice stand out. A trasion I liked that you used was “Secondly” I liked this because it was showing what pice of evidence it was. In addition, you used extremely strong words. This stood out because this made me want to keep reading. A strong word I liked that you used was,”reject” I liked this because it made your piece show that the other birds were rejecting the bigger bird. A suggestion that I can offer for improvement is to add a little bit of more detail. What I mean by this is maybe varying the word choice! Overall your piece was amazing and I loved it.

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Hi Sophie, I really liked how you didn't use any of your transition words more than once and varied them. I also like how your claim sentence and sum up sentence were not the exact same thing. One wish I did have was to use present tense in your whole paragraph. In this part “he was a bit disgusted by its three legs” you should have made the “disgusted”  end with an s and not ed.

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Hey Sophie! I really liked your essay you explained everything really good and i loved your intro you really hooked me into reading more of it. Overall you did really good!!-cerchio

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Hey girly pop! I really liked how in your narrative you showed how sally was nervous about meeting her aunt Sarah. I loved how you also showed that sally was having a good time at her aunts house and dint want to leave at the end. I feel like you could’ve made your hook better, as I was reading it i didnt know where we were until you added “as we pulled into aunt Sarah’s driveway”. But overall it was really good!

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Hi Sophie! I loved your piece “Aunt Sarah”. I thought it was an amazing story! One star was your dialogue. You added so much dialogue that helped me understand the characters more. The characters  were so developed and it showed me what Sally was feeling at every point she talked. Another star was your figurative language. There was so much added to make the piece complete. I felt like most of the story was just amazing detail that was perfect. My wish is your paragraphs. Every time somebody NEW talks you make another paragraph.

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Hi, Sophie, a strength in your narrative “Aunt Sarah” is all of the creative ways you describe things. I also really liked how descriptive everything was! I also thought that since you didn’t really repeat one word too much it just made the narrative sound 10x better!In addition I liked how you made Sally get comfortable with aunt Sarah and how Sally ran up to aunt Sarah and hugged her when she was about to leave. I also liked how you added Sally watching Gracie. I thought that was really cool and a smart idea! I also really liked how In the beginning Sally was nervous and shy but at the end she was really comfortable. The reason why I liked that so much was because I feel like it made the story better. However I think you could’ve added a little bit more in between instead of just going straight into saying “i can’t believe it’s already been a week.” The reason why I say that is because I feel like if you added more into the story then I would get a better understanding of how close Sally got with aunt Sarah. Another reason why I think you should have added a little more is because I think I would have really liked it if I could see how close aunt Sarah got with Sally. The reason why I say that is because it didn’t really explain how close aunt Sarah got with Sally because it only really explained how close sally got with aunt sarah. But overall I really enjoyed your narrative.

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I liked your story because of how you explained how sally got comfortable with aunt sarah and that she really liked her.Also how you explained well what she was doing with details.i like your story a lot but i feel like you could of added more details about the character and their surroundings. And maybe their hobbies.But other than that i liked you story.

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I loved you memrior and thought you went into detail a lot and added good inner thoughts

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Something I liked in your memoir is that you describe where you were on the field and it felt like I was with you. I like how you added the part where your coach told you to move to the right field.I also like how you added a lot of inner thought and expressed how you felt in those inner thoughts. I think something you could work on is adding more harder figurative language but overall its a really good story.

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Your memoir was great and it was very long.I liked that you added a lot of detail and were very strong about your piece.

I really liked the part when you said tears were going down my face like when its pouring outside for one of your inner thoughts. I really liked it. There were no typos and you highlighted the right things.

In my own opinion I think that in the beginning you did not have to repeat what you said for your first inner thought. When you said…ouch as I touched my hot shoulders, they were really hot, i didn't think you needed to add that part.Over all i think it was great though.

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A strength of your memoir was that you made it clear how you were feeling. I was able to understand that you were frustrated, sad, and annoyed. I also liked how you made a balance of dialogue and thoughts. I liked knowing what you were thinking about at certain moments because it helped me understand the way you were feeling. But I do suggest that you could’ve used more figurative language and use more punctuation. I had trouble visualizing the setting, while also running into a few run-on sentences.