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My family has a long history that is not known to me but the farthest I do know is that one of my grandfathers had fought in the US civil war and on my mother's side they immigrated to the US during the late 1800s from modern-day Germany. I am not sure if they came from some of the many German states or if they came from the German Empire. I am sure that my dad's side of the family came from England or from the British Isles but I am not completely sure. Eventually, these families spread through the countries and after some time my dad met my mom and I was born soon after. Tragically my parents broke up soon after I was born and my mom had no place to stay so we had to temporarily stay with my dad and go to my Grandma's to live there for a while. I am not sure how true this is because I cannot back this up with my own memory. I then grew up over the years and got punished for doing things like all kids do but I didn’t have a lot of friends due to me not having any kids on the street I lived on at my dad’s house and my mom lived on the north side of Springfield. I remember there was a little girl kidnapped off the street I was living on just a few houses down as she was walking and they found her on the side of a highway cut up. On a happier note I would always have a good bond with my grandpa and ate at Cedars for a few years and I would devour biscuits and white gravy like it was nothing. Sadly though these good times would come to an end when my grandpa had a heart attack and I went to his funeral sometime during first or second grade. After this, I had many questions about life, death, and what happens to you after you die, and my dad did not really have an answer so I had to create my own ideas from his statements and my own thoughts, of course, this idea of death and what happens after has changed over the years due to my reading and life experiences. Later in life, I found my love for games, especially strategy, shooters, and building games such as Age of Empires, Halo, and Minecraft. I also loved the stories of things like Halo, Star Wars, and other sci-fi universes then I came into contact with Warhammer and I liked it instantly then I found my interest in tabletop wargaming due to Warhammer being a tabletop game. I bought some and I really enjoyed painting then I found airsoft due to my friends complaining to me to play with them so I did that as well and I just haven’t dropped it. I was raised to enjoy god but I was never given the chance and never understood Christianity due to my parents not exposing me to it or telling me about it. I assume this is because my dad is not a religious person and my stepfather is a Turkish Muslim. Luckily for me, I recently found the joys of and teachings of Christianity due to my friends showing, telling, and practicing the religion around me. The Catholic architecture of the Gothic Era was also really good-looking and was rather breathtaking. All of these things and my other lesser life experiences such as my past relationships have taught me a lot of things and that I need to focus on myself before I focus on the well-being of others unless it comes to my god and country I will willingly sacrifice my life for to create a better world. This has resulted in me being a rather negative, logical, and unempathetic person to most but there are a few I feel and understand well enough to help them often.

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When it comes to my family I am not sure where we come from or how long we have been here in the US. My father's side of the family is the most confusing due to our family fighting in the civil war on the union's side but I am not sure what happened before that. On my mother's side of the family, they came from Germany but on her mom's side I'm even more confused as I am not aware of that side I only know of my great grandma but I don't know where she came from. I know the name Lawson comes from England due to there being a record of a lord with the name Lawson and there are other documents showing the change over time from Laweson to Lawson. We can kind of track our family on my dad's side to the 1940s and if I ask around I can probably go back farther and it can get to the late 1800s and early 1900s. When it comes to my most interesting family member it is probably my grandpa who served in Vietnam and was a marine who went behind enemy lines and did sabotage enemy bridges and that sort of stuff. Sadly he is only related by law and not by blood.

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I was born in August on the year of 2005 in the Cox hospital in Springfield Missouri. When I was born I had my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck so whenever my mother tried to push me out I was being choked. They had to C - section my mom to get me out of there. My parents named me Nicolae because it was different and they chose the spelling because they say the book "Nicolae: Rise of the anti - christ", Cain came from the first murderer and Lawson is my dads last name. I don't remember my first years besides for a few instances where I was playing with toys and other things, except for the time I peed on a tree for the first time and jumped off a house. when I was in the first grade my brother Kaiser was born and I was never in awe of him. Most likely the stories she told me were the ones where she talked negatively about my dad or when she talked about her high school life as she was very interesting and did very interesting things with people and substances.

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If I had the chance to redo everything or even small things I would not change a thing due to the fact it has all made me who I am and taking away those experiences ultimately changes who I am as a person. I also believe coming to terms with your past mistakes or tragedies makes you better as a person and makes you stronger.

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I believe in 10 years I will be either dead, a worker, or homeless. I will be dead if a war breaks out most likely and this war would be with china I doubt I will die in some desert in the middle of nowhere where the average american cannot place on a map. I will be homeless if I can't get in the military or work a job I can be proud of. If I somehow survive all of that or I find a job id be happy with I'd try to work myself until my death hopefully in my 50s or 60s. I do not intend to live long enough to see myself become old, demented, and fragile.

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When it comes to serious romance I have not had that yet to a great extent due to the fact I get cold feet or I am busy with school, friends, or groups I am in. I do not see myself getting serious about a partner until I am in my 30's due to the career path I want to take. I do not regret this.

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I do have some activities I enjoy and take up my time. I enjoy painting miniature figurines as it is rather calming and helps me enjoy the fresh air and express my passion for painting. I am apart of groups called "clans" on games such as space engineers and Halo: Reach, these groups are like competitive gaming groups that play against other clans. I also do air soft which is shooting people with small plastic BB's.

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One childhood friend I had was a dude named Erik. He was a cool dude I believe his family was a German Russian mixture. We were pretty good friends and talked a lot but he left for another school I believe. I want to see how he is doing and what is happening in his life. I would tell him something I am not sure I would just like the ability and the opportunity to reconnect with this interesting dude.

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so there are a few family stories that I have heard some funny, some heart breaking, and the others are strange and confusing and make me wonder how those people haven't died yet due to their own stupidity. One story I do remember is my grandpa or dad telling me about how his brother or son tried to get into special education classes by getting his grades so low for months so they would think he was retarded or something, well after a few months of this and a few meetings with his school administration they then got his grades up slowly. Another story I remember is my grandpa telling me about a job he had been on with my dad and a hole as in the roof when it was raining. Well the issue is that it was an apartment complex with a large hole with the two guys there were arguing about who's fault it was. My grandpa had to get my dad to go get some lumber from his truck to dam up the water flowing into the building. Long story short my family got paid a lot of money to fix the hole in the building after the cell tower company pulled out. This story isn't particularly long but it gives a glimpse or reminder into the past and how far we come as a society technologically. Well my dad would have to share the internet with his step brother Allen and something that would often happen is my dad would have to get off the internet so Allen could play his games well my dad would use the dial up and cause the internet to get incredibly slow and crash all the time so then Allen would get angry and leave so my dad would get back on. Nothing crazy but its pretty funny considering my dad still uses this to torment Allen.

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I never really moved as a kid. I only moved about three times from what I remember. the first time was with my dad when we got our current house and the other two times were with my mom. The only time with my dad I don't really remember too well besides the fact that the new house was way bigger, older, and had a basement. I don't think the old house had a basement. My room was also bigger I think. Another thing I remember is that the floors were vinyl floors and the new house had original hardwood floors that were put in when the house was built. At that new house, my room did not really change much as the only toys I wanted were Legos and I always put them on a foam mat that I played on when I was little. my bed changed positions a lot over the years but it was always the same bed. I did share my bed with my brother for a while and the color changed every few years as the paint would get old or my brother wanted a different color but that did not really matter to me as I like legos and I have better things to do. It all changed whenever my brother also started messing with legos and I start hiding them or I would segregate my legos and his legos and we would steal each other's legos a lot. We did get the shelves with the cardboard bins and I got an obsession with plastic army guys as I liked watching the people at the arcade count them out I found it really funny and I still do. I then got my own room afterward downstairs but sadly only a few lego sets could come with me. The other house I don't remember moving to but I do remember remodeling or well more accurately watching my parents remodel it. but after that, we moved out of the apartment and lived in this house on the north side of Springfield a few blocks away from weller elementary. After spending seven or eight years in that house and attending 1 year at pipkin we sold the house and moved into a duplex that was next to the highway that president trump drove down. After a year and our new house were built in Ozark on some land we moved out and we had moved into this house and it was a middle-sized house with large rooms. My room as white and had carpet in it but it was kind of small. The closet was also a big room and could store a lot of clothes in there along with armor and uniforms. My dads neighborhood was a quiet dead-end street with friendly neighbors who looked out for each other. my mom's neighborhood on the north side of town was kind of a dump, with disgusting, horrible people, much like a shithole you find in the slums which is what it was. We lived in front of the National Guards Depot in Springfield and Boys and Girls club.