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This is the map that I draw on the first day of class. This map is less complex because I have never thought about positionality  and what does it mean for a researcher. But it serves as a nice contrast to this following map.

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I started college in the fall of 2014, and I moved away from Chicago's Chinese immigrant community. I volunteered at a Korean immersion charter school called Sejong Academy. I can relate to Sejong because I attended a charter high school. I grew tremendously as an individual. Nonetheless, the courses I took last semester problematize some charter school practices. I want to challenge my taken for granted education as well as look into other charter schools and how their practices influence their students. Getting to know more about various schools through observations and volunteering compels me to reposition myself and consider how I can fit into a classroom that is radically different from what I am used to. I don't speak Korean, but I can build trust and friendship by being actively present in the room and communicate with teachers and principals about what specially I can do to help.
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The photo was taken from Sejong Academy's website.

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As I am doing this portfolio, I recognize how often I fall into the categorical binary. I remembered that I often encourage the youths to go out of their comfort zone and speak English with others. I wonder if I unintendedly implied that English is more important and learning English is a priority. More importantly, I question whether I have the rights to give answers or advice to the youths just because I have more experience learning English, and I am in college.
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I took this picture last summer, and I like how it portrays the bewilderment I have right now: standing on the crossroads and wonder what direction and position I should take. Aptly, this picture was taken in the old Chinatown of Chicago.

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When I take part in these programs and activities, I notice that most of them are geographically confined—they all locate in Chicago Chinatown or close to it. My work circulates around this "comfort zone", an area where most Chinese immigrant youths (even myself) feel safe to continue to speak Chinese. I wonder if what I am doing is helpful or restricting them to an area. Consequently, they are not being challenged and thus hinder their academic and intellectual improvement. Regardless of my doubts, I know that I will join similar programs and projects if I am given the chance, for that is the only way to get in touch with the youths. I want be an active member of the community and an agent of change. My fluency in Chinese dialects and actual experience as a bilingual students would allow me to be a more approachable researcher and form relationships with students and different stakeholders.
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The photo was taken last July when the youths and I helped on the mural project that intended to celebrate the centennial of Chicago Chinatown.

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As a bilingual student, I was often ridiculed and looked down by some of my peers. Yet, this motivated me to learn English even more, and I was eager to fit into my regular classrooms, which would prove my ability. Due to my experience of learning English as the second language, I become interested in helping Chinese immigrant students and start to involve myself in the Chinese immigrant community in Chicago. I think I am well positioned to conduct educational research with immigrant youths because I am motivated to provide them an alternative way to conceptualize American classroom norms and practices that might have alienated them. I also volunteered in Chinese Christian Union Church, worked at bilingual schools, and joined a summer program that specially aimed to mobilize Chinese immigrant youths to work on a community mural project (photos shown in the order from left to right). These experiences and connections that I build can be great resources when I conduct my own research.

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I immigrated to Chicago with my family when I was ten. At the beginning, I did not fully comprehend the meaning of immigration. In the first two or three years, I felt alienated at school because I could not fit into my regular classrooms.  I felt most comfortable when I was in my bilingual class: with a bilingual teacher and other students who were like me. The process of trying to merge into English-speaking classrooms and mingle with American students was challenging, because the "us" (English-speaking students) and "them" (bilingual students) binary was highly visible. For example, all bilingual students carried a reusable bag with bilingual class materials while other students did not.