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Small Frog in a Deep Well:  My First Impression of America

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Small Frog in a Deep Well:  My First Impression of America

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For my Oral History Project, I chose to interview my first cousin once removed. Her name is Krishna Veeravali. She is in her late forties and currently lives in Lansdale, Pennsylvania. She was the last of my dad's side of the family to immigrate to the United States in the early 90's. The following pictures, audio samples, and text boxes chronicle her experiences of witnessing American culture for the first time.

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This is an aerial photograph of my village in India. It's name is Etheru, and has a population of about 3,500 people. Growing up in a village was very different compared to how most people grew up here in the United States. It was very rare to encounter someone in the village who I didn't already know. Most of the families in Etheru had been living there for many generations. In fact, nearly all of the houses in Etheru had once belonged to somebody's ancestors. There was a certain unspoken sense of respect and proudness that existed in each household because of this. Everyone in Etheru had their family's reputation to uphold.

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By the early 90s, most of my family had already made the big move to the United States. One by one, they had all left our village to begin their new lives overseas. I knew that sooner or later, it would be my time to go as well. It would be my first time on a plane. The entire time leading up to my departure, all I could think was "What if the plane goes down?" and "How could a machine this big and heavy even keep itself up in the air?" When I finally did make the trip, there was one part of American culture that really shocked me. It was actually the very first thing I saw as I got off the plane. Right there, in the middle of the crowded airport terminal, surrounded by hundreds of strangers, was a couple hugging and kissing in public. To me, this action just seemed so backwards. How could these people do such private and intimate things in public without any shame?

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At that moment, I had no idea what to think. Since I came from a village, I began to feel like a small frog in a very deep well. I was lost and confused. I thought to myself, "Is this normal behavior in the United States?" Showing affection for others had always been something I did in private. Whenever we wanted to show our respect and admiration for someone in public, the common practice was be to bend down and touch their feet. If an elder wanted to show their admiration for someone who was younger than them, they would place their palm on the person's forehead like they were "blessing" them. Both of these actions were extremely common in India and conveyed our emotions a lot better than hugging and kissing usually did. The only times hugging and kissing happened was with family members you were extremely close to. And even then, it was always done in private.

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As I grew more accustomed to the American way of life, I began to think about why showing affection in India was such a bad thing. In my mind, it was all about showing respect. It was just a way of living for us. Hugging and kissing someone in public just takes away the intimacy of the action. It makes more sense to do these kinds of things of things in private, because then the other person knows that you are being sincere. Another thing that is very different about the United States is saying thank you. In the U.S., people say thank you so frequently that it has gotten to the point where the words "thank you" have lost their meaning. Nowadays, "thank you" has become less of a genuine appreciation for someone else and more of a formality. In India, being thankful is always expected by others. There's no need to say it all the time. In fact, the word for "thank you" in Telegu (my native language) has been forgotten by most of the younger generations.

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Upon returning to India a few years ago, I noticed a big change in how people showed their love for others. I remember going to a mall in Hyderabad and seeing a boyfriend and girlfriend holding hands. Things like this had become much more common since I left India. I think this is probably because of the huge influence that western media has had on Indian culture and ideals. Looking back on my experience in that airport terminal, I find it funny that I was so surprised by that couple's display of affection. Even though I may not show affection the same way that many Americans do, I make sure to let everyone know how much I care about them in my own way.

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“Respect was invented to cover the empty place where love should be.”
― Leo Tolstoy