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When a member of their friendship group was in hospital receiving treatment for cancer, six men who have been friends for years came together.

However, this was the first time they had been in same room, or even the same state.

They met through online gaming and have forged a friendship that has tied them together.

The image of the friends gathered around Joe's hospital bed in New Jersey has moved many to share similar stories of the meaningful relationships that have begun online.

David Miller, from New Brunswick, Canada, shared the story on Reddit. The 19-year-old said he had met Joe and the others online about five years ago.

"We played pretty much everything," he told the BBC.

"We played all the time. Even if we weren't playing games we would be just hanging out talking about anything."

But this summer the friends discovered Joe, 23, had been diagnosed with Ewing's sarcoma. The prognosis was terminal and he now lives in a hospice centre.

"We always had an idea we would eventually meet up, but after finding out that our time was limited we knew we had to do it sooner rather than later," David said.

"We all knew we had to do it."

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Though the friends had never met in real life before, there was no awkwardness.

"We just hung out like we had done it 1,000 times before," David said.

"It meant everything, especially to Joe. There were definitely tears.

"It was a dream we have had since the beginning and it's amazing that it came true."

The heart-warming image was described as "absolutely amazing" and "so special" by Reddit users. It has been upvoted more than 148,000 times on the site.

It also moved many to share their own examples of the powerful friendships they have forged online.

Michael Thomas Sullivan, from Louisiana, said he was "filled with joy" on seeing the photo on Reddit because it reminded him of his first meeting with a long-time friend, Dillon.

Michael told the BBC he started speaking to Dillon online 12 years ago and their relationship is "extremely important" to him.

"[Dillon] has been through a lot with me and we've watched each other grow."

He says that he is sorry that Joe's group met under "really sad circumstances", but was moved by the way "they were there for their friend".

A Reddit user who goes by the name "Javad0g", responded that he had been "truly blessed" to have developed a close circle of friends through online gaming.

They met 15 years ago, and have supported each other through major milestones of life.

"We have lost parents and grieved together, we have watched some of us get married, and have kids and celebrated that. We have supported one who had a divorce and helped him... as his world fell apart around him."

The strength of the group's friendship and their support for Joe led some to suggest the men were dispelling the stereotypes of gamers.

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Gamers meet in real life at friend's bedside

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When a member of their friendship group was in hospital receiving treatment for cancer, six men who have been friends for years came together. However, this was the first time they had been in same room, or even the same state. They met through online gaming and have forged a friendship that has tied them together.

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Video gaming can impact marital satisfaction by upending the routines of daily life. But for those couples in which both partners play, it may not be such a bad thing

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Role-playing games like World of Warcraft allow players to become buff, sword-yielding warriors online - which helps explain why dedicated gamers can while away hours in front of their computer screens. But a new study shows that players' commitment to virtual reality has real-world consequences: it can negatively affect marital satisfaction.

Of course, it's hardly surprising that excessive video gaming might make your partner unhappy - but it's not for the reason you'd think. Brigham Young University researchers found that it wasn't necessarily the long hours spent online that spouses had a problem with. Rather, they got upset when gaming caused offline arguments and particularly when a spouse's excessive gaming interfered with the couple's bedtime routine: couples who did not go to bed at the same time reported less marital satisfaction.

"It's not the hours that make a difference," said Neil Lundberg, one of the researchers and a recreation-management professor at Brigham Young, in a statement. "It's really what it does to the relationship - whether or not it creates conflict and quarreling over the game."

( MORE: Brain Changes in Video Gamers: Addiction or Just People Having Fun?)

For the study, published in the Journal of Leisure Research, researchers surveyed 349 married gamers: in 132 couples, only one person gamed - 84% of the time it was the husband. In the other 217 couples, both partners gamed, but in cases where one person played more than the other, it was again the husband 73% of the time. On average, the study respondents were 33 years old and had been married seven years. (Previous research has found that more than a third of players of multiplayer online role-playing games are married; 22% have kids - how they have the time to game is beyond us.)

Overall, researchers found that 75% of gamers' spouses wished they would put more effort into their marriage, and when one person spent a lot more time gaming than the other, it usually led to dissatisfaction and arguing. Like any other activity that gets in the way of couples' intimacy and family time, gaming had the same effect.

Researchers were surprised to discover, however, that for couples in which both partners played, 76% reported that gaming was actually good for their marriage. Interacting with one another's avatars online led to higher marital satisfaction in real life, the study found - as long as both people were happy with their mutual participation. Interestingly, couples who gamed on the same team were less likely to report being satisfied than those who played on separate teams - possibly in part because more advanced gamers got frustrated when their less skillful spouses couldn't keep up.

( MORE: Brain Aging: What's Nintendo Got to Do with It?)

"We didn't realize that there was a whole group of couples who game together," said Lundberg. "In those gaming couples where the marital satisfaction was low, the same issues existed. For example, if they argued about gaming and bedtime rituals were interrupted, even though they gamed together, they still had lower marital-satisfaction scores."

The researchers also suggest that gamers' marital dissatisfaction could potentially be a bigger problem than the study found, since many gamers declined to participate in the study.

"This study really does verify that gaming has an effect on marital satisfaction," Lundberg said. "It's not just a random occurrence that a few couples are dealing with."

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Is Online Gaming Messing Up Your Marriage?

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Video gaming can impact marital satisfaction by upending the routines of daily life. But for those couples in which both partners play, it may not be such a bad thing Role-playing games like World of Warcraft allow players to become buff, sword-yielding warriors online - which helps explain why dedicated gamers can while away hours in front of their computer screens.

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PARENTS worried about their children playing video games can relax - researchers have found it is actually good for them.

Gaming improves young people's emotional, social and psychological wellbeing, and playing as a family can help build stronger relationships, according to findings by Queensland University of Technology.

The study challenges the commonly held view that sitting in front of the computer creates anti-social, aggressive and lazy behaviour among teenagers.

"We are seeing clear evidence of improvements in mood, stress reduction, increased feeling of competence and autonomy and really strong feelings of being connected with the people they are playing with," director of QUT's games research and interaction design lab Daniel Johnson said.

"Games that kids are playing require lots of strategy, require teamwork and while they're playing they're chatting about things going on in their life - so it's a social experience at the same time."

A recent survey showed about 94 per cent of children aged 6-15 play video games regularly.

Dr Johnson said parental involvement was the key, combined with playing age-appropriate games for moderate amounts of time - about 8-10 hours a week.

"But how you play is more important than how much or what you play - so if kids are playing with friends or family and playing cooperatively, then that's really going to help them build relationships." he said.

Evidence suggests children who don't play at all can be socially disadvantaged because they cannot engage with their peers in discussions about popular culture and Dr Johnson recommended a "balanced media diet".

Victoria Ferrier, whose son Lliam, 13, plays video games 10 hours a week, often with his dad, said the findings flew in the face of everything she previously believed.

"It surprised me because I was of the opinion they were 100 per cent bad for kids," she said. "I even made Lliam save up his own pocket money to buy games."

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PARENTS worried about their children playing video games can relax - researchers have found it is actually good for them. Gaming improves young people's emotional, social and psychological wellbeing, and playing as a family can help build stronger relationships, according to findings by Queensland University of Technology.

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Online video games have become one of the most common places for teens to meet their peers and create lifelong friendships.

According to a recent Pew Research Center survey of teens ages 13-17, 72 percent of all teenagers spend free time playing video games on a computer, game console or portable device, with 36 percent reporting they have made a new friend through networked video games. Pew's research echoes findings from the ESA's 2015 Essential Facts About the Computer and Video Game Industry, which found that 54 percent of frequent video game players feel video games help them connect with friends.

These young video game players also feel a real sense of kinship with their online teammates, especially through voice connections that help them develop and improve friendships. According to Pew, playing online video games helps 78 percent of teens feel more connected to those they already know; 52 percent also report feeling closer to friends whom they only know online.

"It's an easy way to keep up with friends," said James Koepke, a student at Stephen F. Austin University in Nacogdoches, Texas. "I have friends going to Ole Miss, UT-Arlington, and the University of Houston. It's hard for us to meet up. We play games together online. We'll just chat and may not even play but just talk. We use games to stay in touch."

National video game retailer GameStop is also highlighting meaningful relationships developed through online game play. Recently, the retailer concluded #SummerAtGameStop, a five-week contest series in which players from across the country submitted personal stories about how playing online video games fostered lifelong relationships.

"Gaming is a great way to get to know someone," said self-professed lifetime video game player Chris Wiseman, whose relationship with his fiancée developed while playing Halo 4 together. "It's a team-building and relationship-building experience where you can really learn about the other person."

Researchers have been observing this trend for decades, prompting the academic world to refer to the online game environment as a "third space," outside of the home and workplace, where people from different backgrounds come together to reinforce a sense of community.

"Studies have shown that many players establish very positive and close relationships with each other," Elizabeth Gee, associate director and professor at the Center for Games & Impact at Arizona State University, told the Dallas Morning News. "In some cases, players use online games as a way to have fun with friends and family they also see in the real world, or with other players whom they would never have the chance to meet otherwise."

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Video Games Help Make Lifelong Friendships - The Entertainment Software Association

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Online video games have become one of the most common places for teens to meet their peers and create lifelong friendships. According to a recent Pew Research Center survey of teens ages 13-17, 72 percent of all teenagers spend free time playing video games on a computer, game console or portable device, with 36 percent reporting they have made a new friend through networked video games.

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Social relationships of gamers and their parents

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The purpose of this study is to understand how playing digital games affect children and adolescents' relationships with their parents. Ninety primary...

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Several years ago, I was working in the soul-numbing word processing department of a large corporation, a once-critical department that had been rendered irrelevant by modern-day computers. Microsoft Office meant that just about anyone in the company could do our jobs. My department head had to take a class to learn how to use a mouse, but she was a long-time employee very close to retirement, so she didn't want anyone to notice how unnecessary our department was.

Every day, my fellow minion and I would wait for the occasional letter to proofread or a report to format, usually in vain. And while we were waiting, we weren't allowed to read books or browse the internet, because someone could walk by and see that we were idle. We were only allowed to do text-based things on the computer. My department head didn't care what, as long as no casual passerby could see that we weren't hard at work.

Perhaps I should've used the time to solve the mysteries of the universe, as Einstein did working at the patent office. But instead, I turned to my life-long passion for gaming.

Even back in the late 90s, there weren't many games available that were entertaining enough to get me through an eight-hour workday, didn't have any graphics, and were able to pass through the company firewall. But I soon discovered a game that fit all of the necessary criteria. It was a Multi-User Dimension (MUD) - an online, text-based, multiplayer role-playing game -hosted by a university in Paderborn, Germany.

I've always loved video games, starting with Ms. Pac-Man and other arcade classics, and the simple games available on my first Vic 20. But no game would ever affect my life the way joining that MUD did.

As I logged in every day, I got to know not only the game itself, but other players. I started making friendships that went beyond the game. Soon, I was exchanging phone numbers, care packages, and long chats that were less about in-game tips and more about life, the universe, and everything IRL.

The greatest adventure

Over time, one specific person became dear to me. He was just out of a relationship and so was I. We spent a lot of time talking about what love meant to us, and how relationships should work. We were good friends - very good friends, maybe with the potential for more. But there was a serious problem: he lived 4,210 miles away, in a country where I couldn't speak the language.

The MUD eventually had a get-together in person, and I flew across an ocean to be there. I met my good friend in person, and we fell in love.

Unlike many of my acquaintances, I'd never yearned to leave my home state of Maryland. I had no desire to move to a big city or the open country. I was happy where I was. But when you find someone whose opinions on games and love match so perfectly with your own, it's silly to let that person go. 10 months later, I moved to Germany.

Moving to a new country is a strange and wondrous experience, but difficult as well - especially when your language skills are lacking. It felt isolating to struggle to communicate face-to-face, and humiliating to stumble through a sentence when you couldn't remember all the words. But if there's one thing that can make a transition like that easier, it's gaming.

Games as a bridge between cultures

Games were my lifeline in those first months. I played card games in pubs, board games at parties, LAN games with a big group of enthusiastic gaming friends every Friday evening, and video games with my husband at home. Even when my sentences were gibberish, my friends had no trouble understanding a well-placed sniper shot in Counterstrike or a carefully-crafted strategy in Carcassonne.

I don't know if I would've stuck it out in Germany without games as a universal language among my friends. But I've been here for 17 years now. My husband and I are happily married, and still play as many games together as ever.

Our 5-year-old son is starting to show his love for gaming, too. While his favorite game is still hide-and-seek and his screen time is responsibly limited, he can tell you what every Pokémon Go monster evolves into, and will happily take long walks in his quest to "catch 'em all." He hasn't started to read yet, but he's learned to recognize useful words in the video games he plays, and he practices fine motor skills with board games for kids.

So often, the media only reports the negatives about gaming. Video games have been accused of being the root of addictions, relationship neglect, hyperactivity in children, and even horrors like the Columbine shootings. But in moderation, games can be tools for learning, relaxation, and making friends.

Gaming is the thread that binds my family and friends together. It provided me a way of communicating when the spoken word failed me. My love of games was powerful enough to forge connections across many miles and to bridge oceans.

They turned my most boring job into my biggest adventure, falling in love and moving abroad. And they've brought together a fabulous group of friends that have lasted for decades.

The secret to true love?

We're not alone, either. Today, more and more people are finding connections and building relationships through gaming. Although video gaming is typically considered a male pastime, research has shown that nearly as many women are regular players, perhaps even more than men. A 2015 study done by the Pew Research Center found that more women than men own gaming consoles. With so many people of both genders playing, there's plenty of opportunity for romance to spark.

Unlike people who meet through dating sites, people who game together know that they have interests in common right off the bat. And those players have the chance to get to know one another over time, deciding whether they're a good match without the pressure and potential awkwardness of dating.

The pool of possible candidates for love is large, too. While a bustling dating site might only have a million or so active members, a single MMORPG like World of Warcraft had surpassed 10 million subscribers in 2014.

So, if you're tired of looking for love in all the wrong places, maybe the answer might lie in the games you already play. For me and many others, a love for gaming was the key to true love.
Sandra Grauschopf is a professional freelancer with over a decade of experience in planning and creating engaging articles. She's also an avid reader, mother, passionate gamer, and she has a killer arm with a Frisbee.

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Several years ago, I was working in the soul-numbing word processing department of a large corporation, a once-critical department that had been rendered irrelevant by modern-day computers. Microsoft Office meant that just about anyone in the company could do our jobs.

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Step # 1: Make the Decision

If you are wondering if it is time to let a friendship go, ask yourself these three questions:

1. Do I feel better or worse about myself or life, in general, after spending time with this person?

2. Do I find myself ignoring texts or phone calls from this person or cancelling out on plans to get together with this person?

3. Has this person's presence in my life done more harm than good?

If someone brings you down or if you're consistently avoiding someone, it may be time to end the friendship or at least "take a break" from the relationship.

Step #2: Use Healthy Self-Talk to Keep Up your Resolve
First: Tell yourself not to feel guilty.
Many socially connected people assume they should be able to "fix" a relationship that is falling apart or falling away. Unfortunately, they are taking on way too much responsibility for others, though, if they make that assumption. If you've given a failing relationship a fair chance and you have tried to address the issue with the other person, but are just not getting what you need from the relationship, it is absolutely okay to move on.

Think about it - would you rather have a friend who only hangs out with you due to her own guilt or someone who chooses to hang out with you because she think you are just absolutely awesome to be around?
Second: Remind yourself that friendships are relationships of choice.
Friendships must be mutual in order for them to be considered true friendships. You can't choose family, but you can definitely choose your friends. It's more than okay to be selective when you build your friendscape.

Step 3: Plan for as Healthy a Break-Up As Possible

1. Do not let toxic relationships go on for too long.

2. Weigh your words carefully.

3. If it is likely that you will still run into an ex-friend in the neighborhood, at work, on campus, or at the gym, make sure that you end the relationship on as positive a note as possible.

4. Technology issues may need consideration - unfriending, spamming, blocking emails, etc.

5. Make it about yourself and your needs, not her wrongs.

6. Acknowledge the benefits that the relationship has offered over time and express appreciation for the positive role she has played in your life in the past.

7. Do not allow yourself to dwell on negative thoughts about revenge or punishment of the former friend.

Step 4: Step Away from the Relationship

Don't let a toxic relationship go on for too long. Don't delay the inevitable -- it usually just gets harder the longer you wait. It's kind of like dragging out the removal of a Band-Aid.

"Ghosting" and always being "just too busy" are highly controversial methods for ending relationships.

If it's a friend that you really only communicate with via social media or texting, fading away is probably doable without much drama, but that's about the only time it would be okay.

Everyone pretty much knows that when someone complains about being "too busy" to catch up, it is code for "you're off my A-list." Don't hide behind your job, your family, or other commitments. Remember, if you're too convincing with excuses, you are only setting yourself up to deal with future efforts to keep someone's name off your social calendar.

Weigh your "break up" speech carefully and make it about you - not them. Use "I statements" and own your feelings. Being honest can be a final parting gift for your soon-to-be ex-friend that may actually benefit her in the long run.

Avoid collateral damage as much as you can. If other friends may feel the need to take sides, approach them as soon as possible so that potentially tricky social situations can be prevented, if possible. In the case of mutual friends, be prepared for some causalities.

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Has technology and the busy-ness of the world changed the way that you engage with friends? Share your experiences in this survey: "Doing Friendship" in Contemporary Society

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Toxic Relationships? You Deserve Better!

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If you are wondering if it is time to let a friendship go, ask yourself these three questions: Do I feel better or worse about myself or life, in general, after spending time with this person? Do I find myself ignoring texts or phone calls from this person or cancelling out on plans to get together with this person?

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Key points

According to one survey, a total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile.

Research says one-third of all people who use online dating sites have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online.

A study showed that reviewing multiple dating candidates online causes people to be more judgmental about them.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs and conventional wisdom both suggest that love is a fundamental human need. Most people meet their significant others through their social circles or work/school functions. However, these pools can be relatively shallow. In the search for a potential date, more and more people are switching to less traditional methods.

Online dating is really popular. Using the internet is really popular. A survey conducted in 2013 found that 77% of people considered it "very important" to have their smartphones with them at all times. With the rise of apps like Tinder (and the various copycat models), who could blame them? If you want to think about dating as a numbers game (and apparently many people do), you could probably swipe left/right between 10 to 100 times in the span of time that it would take you to interact with one potential date in "real life."

With the popularity of sites like eHarmony, Match.com, OkCupid, and countless others, the stigma of online dating has diminished considerably in the last decade. According to the Pew Research Center, the overwhelming majority of Americans suggest that online dating is a good way to meet people. Online dating services are now the second most popular way to meet a partner.

The popularity of online dating is being driven by several things, but a major factor is time. Online dating presents an effective solution to a serious problem.

Browsing profiles isn't nearly as time-consuming (or daunting) as mixing with people in a social context. Statistics suggest that about 1 in 5 relationships begin online nowadays. It's estimated that by 2040, 70% of us will have met our significant other online.

The problem with a lot of online dating applications is that they don't really work. Before you throw caution to the wind and empty your wallet into the pockets of an online app with the reckless abandon of a love-struck teenager, there are a few things you should know.

1. People lie on their online dating profiles

OK, this is hardly an earth-shattering revelation. Well duh, people want to be appealing. Most people probably wouldn't be surprised to learn that it's more common for people to lie in their online profiles than be completely honest.

A study of over 1,000 online daters in the US and UK conducted by global research agency OpinionMatters founds some very interesting statistics. A total of 53% of US participants admitted to having lied in their online dating profile. Women apparently lied more than men, with the most common dishonesties being about looks. Over 20% of women posted photos of their younger selves. But men were only marginally better. Their most common lies were about their financial situation, specifically about having a better job (financially) than they actually do. More than 40% of men indicated that they did this, but the tactic was also employed by nearly a third of women.

While dishonesty was slightly less prevalent among the British sample, 44% did admit to lying in their online profile. In both the US and UK samples, dishonesty declined with age. Maybe older people are just more interested in projecting their real self, rather than an imagined or ideal version.

2. Looking for a relationship? That must mean all you want is sex

One of the big problems with online dating for women is that, although there are genuine relationship-seeking men on the sites, there are also plenty of guys on there simply looking for sex. While most people would agree that on average men are more eager for sex than women, it seems that many men make the assumption that if a woman has an online dating presence, she's interested in sleeping with relative strangers. Online dating does represent the convenience of being able to meet others that you possibly never would have otherwise, but women should be aware that they probably will receive rude/disgusting messages from horny guys, sexual propositions/requests, dick pics, and a lot of creepy vibes.

3. Negotiating the scam-ternet

Let's be honest, the internet is really just a super elaborate and sophisticated farce designed to distract you from having your pockets picked by greasy conmen in cheap suits, right? Not quite, but it is full of unscrupulous vendors looking to separate you from your money by whatever means possible (in other news, have you heard about the secret to getting killer abs in less than 7 minutes using this 1 weird trick...?).

There are pitfalls and tripwires in every sphere of life, but this may be particularly true in the context of online dating. There are literally hundreds (if not thousands) of online scams, and I'm not going to run through any in detail here, but do some research before you go giving your bank details to "Nigerian princes" promising "fun moments." As a matter of fact, you should probably be wary of any person, group, or entity asking for any kind of financial or personal information. It might even be advisable to follow these general guidelines:

Set up an anonymous email account from a widely used email service (I_heart_scamming123@gmail.com is already taken).

Never give out your home phone, address, or personal email address unless you absolutely trust the recipient.

Drive yourself to the date (your date doesn't need to know where you live), keep an eye on your drink/food, and pay half of the bill (you don't need your date to have expectations of repayment).

Of course, there are plenty more do's and do not's of online dating, but I guess the most important thing here is to use your common sense. If something feels off, trust your gut. You don't necessarily have to develop a "trust no one and sleep with one eye open" approach to online dating, but it is probably worthwhile to have a healthy degree of skepticism in general.

4. Relationships don't last

Never mind the fact that more than one-third of all people who use online dating sites have never actually gone on a date with someone they met online, those that somehow do manage to find someone else they are willing to marry and who is willing to marry them (a vanishingly tiny subset of online daters) face an uphill battle. According to research conducted at Michigan State University, relationships that start out online are 28% more likely to break down in their first year than relationships where the couples first met face-to-face. And it gets worse. Couples who met online are nearly 3 times as likely to get divorced as couples that met face-to-face.

However, it isn't all misery and woe. While the overwhelming majority of romantic relationships still begin offline, around 5% of Americans who are currently in either a committed relationship or marriage indicate that they met their significant other online.

5. It makes you picky and judgmental

It's very easy to send one course back (or even one after another) when the menu is overflowing with other potential courses. According to the Association for Psychological Science, reviewing multiple candidates causes people to be more judgmental and inclined to dismiss a not-quite-perfect candidate than they otherwise would be in a face-to-face meeting.

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Are we sacrificing love for convenience?

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Acknowledged in many ways, from song lyrics to life lessons, we often don´t realize what we have until it is gone. Looking back, many people wish they had cherished the time they spent with an ex-partner, whom they took for granted at the time. Taking a partner for granted can change the way we interact, impact the amount of effort invested in relational maintenance behaviors, or lessen the desire to cherish time spent together.

In today´s busy world, many partners find themselves burnt out with so many other responsibilities, both personal and professional, that they sometimes neglect their partners in the interest of saving time. Unfortunately, that time lost may translate into reduced relational stability, which over time could lead to relational dissolution. Why don´t couples realize this risk at the time? Perhaps because research suggests that when perceived risk of breakup is low, romantic feelings may be lower as well.

At the other end of the spectrum, rocky relationships may also dampen romantic feelings. Perhaps it is difficult to fully invest in a relationship that does not seem to have a good chance of long-term success.

What happens, however, when within an established relationship, one partner is faced with the presence of a romantic rival, a perception of disinterest from their paramour, or another type of relational threat? In such cases, some partners who were previously content within what was perceived as a stable relationship, when faced with relationship-threatening events or risk factors, report intensified attraction to their partner. Why does this happen?
Romantic Feelings and Risk of Breakup
Simona Sciara and Giuseppe Pantaleo (2018) demonstrated that manipulating the risk of ending a romantic relationship impacted both the intensity of romantic affect as well as commitment. ¹ They explain their results within the context of emotional intensity theory (EIT), noting how romantic feelings varied as the risk of relationship breakup was manipulated. Their data also showed the results of manipulated risk on romantic commitment were mediated by romantic affect.

They begin by recognizing objective risk factors that adversely impact relationship success. They give the examples of living together before engagement, early marriages stemming from teenage romance, as well as factors such as number of children, education, years of marriage, and genetic factors.

They also note that prior research, attempting to link perception of relational risk and lower relational stability, has demonstrated that romantic partners who fear rejection or betrayal tend to perceive lower relational quality, and are less attracted to their partners.

Sciara and Pantaleo observe that prior research demonstrated paradoxical results regarding the types of situations that enhance relational attraction and commitment. On the one hand, they describe research finding that factors that can damage a relationship long-term include a lack of social support, social disapproval generally, and interference by parents. They also note, however, that other studies show that these types of interfering forces in moderation, were associated with relational benefits in terms of enhanced romantic feelings. These include moderate amounts of social disapproval, parental interference, and family opposition or lack of support.

Their main focus, however, was on studying the impact of perceived risk of ending a romantic relationship on romantic intensity and relational commitment.
Romantic Relational Risk
Sciara and Pantaleo recognize their research as one of only a few studies that is focused on perceived risk factors in romantic relationships. Specifically, they found intensity of romantic affect to be strong under two conditions: when breakup risk was not mentioned or was moderate. They found intensity to be significantly reduced when breakup risk was low or high. They found that intensity of romantic commitment varied according to the same pattern.

In discussing their study´s manipulating the risk of breakup, they note, "Any potentially stressful event, any negative partner´s characteristic, or any actual risk factor can act as a deterrent to the extent that it is perceived as ´risky´ for the fate of the relationship."
Relational Investment: How to Avoid Losing that Loving Feeling
These findings suggest that taking a relationship for granted, where it results in viewing the risk of breakup as low, might lessen the intensity of romantic feelings one has for a partner. Ironically the same result may stem from partners perceiving their relationship to be "on the rocks."

What's the best practice here? Nurturing a relationship at all times under all circumstances, even when things are going well, can contribute to relational health at all stages of romantic involvement, which in turn can increase romantic feelings and relational commitment. In many cases, such intentional investment can help avoid relational turbulence and ensure smooth sailing.

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Does Risk of Losing a Partner Increase Romantic Attraction?

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Acknowledged in many ways, from song lyrics to life lessons, we often don´t realize what we have until it is gone. Looking back, many people wish they had cherished the time they spent with an ex-partner, whom they took for granted at the time.