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Take-Home Message Grief triggers are sudden reminders of the person who died that cause powerful emotional responses in grieving children. They are most common in the first few months after the death, but may happen at any time. School professionals can prepare students with information about grief triggers, proactively establish a safety plan with grieving students, and approach potentially difficult classroom lessons or activities with increased awareness. This creates a more supportive classroom environment that is appreciated by all students.

What Grief Triggers Are Like After a significant loss, students may unexpectedly encounter situations or comments that remind them of the person who has died. This can cause sudden and intense feelings of distress and other strong emotions. This can be unsettling at any time, but especially so when it occurs in a school setting. Students are caught off guard. They may feel a loss of control. This can be especially disheartening after they seemed to be gaining some relief from the strong feelings that occurred immediately after the death. Students may worry that they’ll start crying in front of classmates or otherwise embarrass themselves. They may feel overwhelmed and unable to ask for support.

Common Grief Triggers Events such as the following may act as grief triggers for children if they are associated with the person who died:

• Hearing a song or seeing a TV show

• Going to or seeing a photo of a place

• Smells or sounds

• Hearing a news report (of someone who died in a similar way, for example) • Special occasions (holidays, birthdays, Mother’s Day or Father’s Day)

• Transitions (graduation, starting at a new school, moving)

• Lost opportunities (vacations, performances, sports events, father-daughter dances)

In a school setting, the class may be talking about a city in social studies that reminds the student of a prior family vacation and special time spent with the deceased. A peer may comment over lunch about a television show the student had always watched with a sibling who died. The class may be asked to discuss an assignment with their mother or father, and the student is reminded that she no longer has two parents. Almost anything can serve as a grief trigger.

Supporting a Child Experiencing a Grief Trigger Support from teachers and schools can help students move through these experiences in a positive and productive way. Ideally, there will be a chance to explain proactively to grieving children that it is fairly common for such triggers to occur. Reassure them that, while intense, the immediate experience will pass. School professionals can work with a child to develop a plan for grief triggers. Options include:

• Identify a safe space or location where the student can go. This might be the library, a study hall, a nearby classroom, or the office of the school counselor, school nurse, school psychologist, or school social worker.

• Provide the child with the name of an adult he or she can see when feeling upset or wishing to talk.

• Set up procedures that allow the student to obtain support, such as a signal or statement that doesn’t draw attention but does allow the student to leave the classroom. It’s difficult for children to ask for help and expose their vulnerabilities in front of peers when they are already feeling overwhelmed.

• Allow the child to call a parent or family member if he or she feels it would help.

• Give permission and encouragement for the child to speak with a school counselor, school nurse, school psychologist, or school social worker.

• Offer private time with a teacher to talk over feelings, questions, or other concerns. When children know there is a plan in place to deal with grief triggers, they feel less trapped when they occur. If children know they can leave without drawing attention to themselves, they become less anxious. Their distress passes more quickly, and they actually rarely need to leave the classroom. They are more likely to remain in class and be available for learning.

Anticipate and Minimize Triggers When possible, it’s helpful to anticipate and minimize grief triggers. Here are some steps that will help.

• Expect that triggers may occur around holidays, Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, the child’s birthday, the birthday of the deceased, or the anniversary of the person’s death. Children and their families may be able to suggest dates that may be difficult. Note: Children who have a parent deployed in the military, living in another city or state, in prison, or otherwise absent from their daily life may also experience sadness or distress at similar times.

• Introduce class activities in a way that acknowledges absences and offers alternatives. Example: “For this Father’s Day activity, I’d like you to focus on your father or another important male adult in your life— someone who cares for you and has provided support. If your father is not living, or he does not live with you, you can still complete this activity with him in mind if you wish.”

• Make an effort to reach out to grieving students at school events where the absence of a loved one may be especially noticeable (performances, sporting events, science fairs).

• Introduce subjects such as serious illness, accidental death, war, or violence with sensitivity. Recognize that students in your class may have lost a family member or close friend in one of these ways.

Helpful Modifications Assist grieving students in identifying the level of academic work that feels appropriate and achievable. Some helpful modifications include:

• Change an assignment. There are many ways to adapt assignments to better match grieving students’ current ability to focus. For example, allow a student to work on a project with a partner rather than solo. Suggest a student adapt a formal research paper into a more engaging assignment, such as an oral history project or a video. Offer a student the chance to defer an oral presentation and submit a written assignment instead.

• Change the focus or timing of a lesson. A literature class might choose a different book to discuss if the one originally scheduled describes a death similar to the one a student is currently grieving. A health class on the dangers of substance abuse might be postponed, or the grieving student excused, if he has just lost a sibling to a drug overdose.

• Reschedule or adapt tests. Immediately after a death, students might be exempted from some testing, or given modifications such as testing alone in a quiet location with extra time. Scores might be omitted or weighted less in determining final grades. It’s important for teachers to find a balance between maintaining reasonable expectations and being ready to provide additional support and accommodation for grieving students. Students need to be appropriately prepared to move ahead to their next grade. If they are promoted without learning the essential facts and concepts of their grade, they will be at a disadvantage the following year, when new teachers may be unaware of their losses.

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https://youtu.be/cKcNyfXbQzQ
NEGLECT/PARENT SEPERATION

“In the past, when you talked about a child experiencing trauma, you assumed abuse or neglect,” she says. “Now we understand that trauma can mean a lot of things—families dealing with divorce, serious illness, a natural disaster, a military deployment, and more.” (Lori Sanchez, n.d.).  Family structures have changed over the years varrying from home to home, but what matters is that students “feel safe, secure, and loved at home” (R. Tustin, 2017).  When students go through divorce in the family, whether amicable or not, they can lose some of this sense of security causing these students an immense amount of stress which can impact their ability to focus at school.

Strategies for helping students:

Maintaining open lines of communication:

Regardless of custody arrangements and living situations, as teachers we should never assume that one parent is in charge of all communication in relation to their child.  In these cases, whether a parent is living with the student or not, it’s important to communicate with both parents whenever necessary so that these parents can more easily support their child.  This might not always be easy and might take extra effort on the part of the teacher.

Find out what the best way to communicate with specific parents is.

For parent-teacher conferences, if one parent isn’t able to make the conference physically try to connect to them through zoom, make a second appointment, or find other means of communication to keep them up to date.

Speaking up for students:

Students of divorce may feel anxious, stressed, neglected and/or unsupported. As teachers, we can advocate for our students' needs through open lines of communication.

Don’t assume:  In the classroom we encounter students with different personalities, passions, upbringings, and behaviors.  When witnessing problem behavior it’s important to approach students with an open mind in order to get to know them and understand the cause of behavior.  Though we may have a general idea of what is happening at home, it’s important to talk to the student in order to find out what is going on specifically.  “From small children to adolescents, information tends to get processed through an emotional lens. They may feel abandoned by the parent who moved out of the home, even if they see and talk to them regularly” (R. Tustin, 2017), these thoughts may affect student’s self-esteem, and ability to complete tasks.

Ask yourself where does this behavior stem from?

Build relationships:  In order to understand student behavior it is important to get to know students and build trust.  These relationships are important for all students but even more important for students dealing with trauma or neglect at home.  Not only do these relationships help students perform better but they help them build resilience.  Some strategies to build these relationships are:

Talking to students and asking questions while:

They are lining up

At recess

Inviting 2-3 students to eat lunch with you

Encouraging students to write journal entries and share with the teacher on a voluntary basis.

Giving students outlets to express themselves via writing in journals or drawings

Create a safe environment:  Students dealing with neglect or divorce might feel destabilized and anxious about increasing changes, creating a safe and predictable environment is that much more important for these students.

Strategies:

While we may be empathetic to students going through a difficult time, it’s easy to fall into the trap of enabling/forgiving bad behavior. In reality, maintaining consistent routines and consequences helps students know what to expect, creates consistency and stability in the classroom, all especially important for these students.

Making routines visible and clear with:

lots of visuals/posters around the classroom

morning and afternoon review of the daily routine

Giving students a safe space to calm down, relax, self-sooth, or be alone.

Protecting students by creating classroom norms in relation to safety

Keeping a positive outlook:

Students of divorce may be dealing with lots of negativity and stress at home coming from conflicts between parents. Unfortunately, this can sometimes carry over to the child, or, lead the child to feel neglected. This can cause students to have low self esteem. During these difficult times teachers have to be extra positive, by smiling often, and giving extra encouragement:

Reinforce student's strengths with specific praise and manageable goal-setting.

Telling students they did a good job during a time when they might not be hearing this at home

Praising student work in front of the whole class when opportune.

Create opportunities for students to show off strengths.  For example, if the student is a good artist assigning them a poster presentation in which these skills can shine.

“Remember, to a child whose parents are divorcing, what seems like little moments to you may be huge moments to them.”(R. Tustin, 2017).

Making accommodations:

Students going through divorce or difficult situations at home might need special accommodations at school that would differ from regular routines or classroom expectations:

Examples:

The ability to call parents during the day when feeling overwhelmed

The ability to take extra breaks in a quiet space while still being held accountable for completion of work

For students getting less sleep at home during this time, allowing them to take a nap in a safe space in the classroom

Works Cited:

Tustin, R. (2017, April). Study.com | Take Online Courses. Earn College Credit. Research Schools, Degrees & Careers. Study.Com. https://study.com/blog/how-to-support-a-student-whose-parents-are-divorcing.html

https://resilienteducator.com/classroom-resources/trauma-informed-strategies/#author. (2021, June 8). Trauma-Informed Strategies to Use in Your Classroom | Resilient Educator. ResilientEducator.Com. https://resilienteducator.com/classroom-resources/trauma-informed-strategies/

TEDx Talks. (2012, May 20). The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKcNyfXbQzQ&feature=youtu.be

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The impact of divorce on children: Tamara D. Afifi at TEDxUCSB

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Sarah: Instability at Home/Changing Countries

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Sarah: Instability at Home/Changing Countries

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Examples of Instability at home:
Instability in the home can take many forms. Instability could like a time when there is a situation where a child does not know what to expect or feel or perhaps where they do not feel safe and secure because of a changing environment around them. It could be the result of anything from a parents change relationship (marriage, divorce, separations, re-marriage, ending or beginning co-habitation) as well as relocating for a parents job, changing schools, or moving to a new country.

Responses Strategies:
- SEL is a great place to start with students who have experienced some kind of trauma relating to change in the home. Through SEL students can work on building resiliency by learning to identify their feelings, learning strategies to cope with these feelings and what to do with them to feel regulated again. Teachers can help facilitate these strategies with guided conversations, asking open ended questions that allow students to think and process their emotions.
-Another really helpful way to help students is by using books and social stories. These allow students to connect with these concepts in a meaningful way that may make more sense to them.
-You can also prepare your class and help build empathy when you are going to have a new student coming in whether they are from a different country or a different part of the state. Teachers can ask questions like: If you were moving to a new place and changing to a new school, how would you feel? How can we be a good friend to ____? How can we help _____ feel welcome in our classroom?
-Teachers can pair this new student with a kind helpful buddy who is willing to hang out with the new friend and show them around school for the week. If the child is from a different country and the host language is new to them, try pairing them with a buddy who speaks the same language they do. Often in my classroom when we get new teachers with kids, their children do not have much exposure to Thai. I try to find them a buddy in my class who either is more fluent in english or is another native english speaker to help them feel more comfortable.
-Allow this student to have something of comfort or familiarity with them. when there is a lot of change going on around a child- it helps if they have something of comfort like a stuffed animal they can hold on to during class. I once had a student who was more anxious and arrived mid year from the states. She was not familiar with Thai but it helped her to bring a small stuffed fox that traveled with her from home. It was her lovey and her mom would often put some essential oils on the fox to help her smell and feel more calm when she felt anxious. She eventually became more comfortable with her surroundings and would end up leaving the fox in her cubby as she did not need it as often.

Links to Resources:
Top ten books to help students identify their feelings: https://www.apperson.com/teach-talk/10-book-to-help-kids-understand-their-feelings

The responsive counselor- she has great links to lessons on identifying feelings, what to do with them, how to calm down, and how to be a friend for k-elementary and even some upper grades as well: https://theresponsivecounselor.com/

Seven tips for welcoming a new student into an established classroom: https://www.teachstarter.com/au/blog/7-tips-for-welcoming-a-new-student-2-2/

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10 BOOKS TO HELP KIDS UNDERSTAND THEIR FEELINGS

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Inspired by National Library Week (April 10-16), we've compiled a list of 10 books that help children understand their feelings and emotions. Social-emotional learning is critical to student development and their overall well-being. Learning to understand and cope with their feelings will help ensure students achieve their maximum potential in school and beyond.

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https://youtu.be/vMO5rojeID0

Child physical abuse damages children physically, emotionally, and socially. The most obvious and immediate result is physical.

Physical An abused child may experience one or more of the following: hitting, shaking, choking, biting, kicking, punching, burning, poisoning, suffocating, or being held underwater.  Physical abuse may lead to bruises, cuts, welts, burns, fractures, internal injuries, or in the most extreme cases death.
Initial impact on children will be the immediate pain and suffering and medical problems caused by the physical injury.  However, the pain will last long after the bruises and wounds have healed.  The longer physical abuse of a child occurs, the more serious the impact.  Chronic physical abuse can result in long term physical disabilities, including brain damage, hearing loss, or eye damage. The age at which the abuse takes place influences the impact of the damage. For example, infants who are physically abused are more likely to experience long‐term physical effects and neurological alterations such as irritability, lethargy, tremors, and vomiting. In more serious cases where the abuse was more forceful or longer in duration, the infant may experience seizures, permanent blindness or deafness, mental and developmental delays or retardation, coma, paralysis, and in many cases death. This has recently been called the “Shaken Baby Syndrome” since it most often occurs as a result of violent shaking or shaking of the head.

Emotional: Beyond the physical problems experienced by children, there are other consequences of physical abuse.  Studies of physically abused children and their families indicate that a significant number of psychological problems are associated with child physical abuse.   Abused children compared with non‐abused children may have more difficulty with academic performance, self‐control, self‐image and social relationships. A recent US study comparing physically abused and non‐abused children provided considerable evidence of the negative and lasting consequences of physical abuse.   The physically abused children in the study experienced far greater problems at home, at school, amongst peers and in the community. Children who are physically abused have a predisposition to many emotional disturbances.  They may experience feelings of low self‐esteem and depression or may be hyperactive and overly anxious.  Many of these children may exhibit behavioral problems such as aggression towards other children or siblings. Other emotional problems include anger, hostility, fear, humiliation, and an inability to express feelings. The long‐term emotional consequences can be devastating.  For example, children who are abused are at risk of experiencing low self‐esteem, depression, drug or alcohol dependence, and increased potential for child abuse as a parent.

Social :The social impact on children who have been physically abused is perhaps less obvious, yet still substantial.    Immediate social consequences can include an inability to form friendships with peers, poor social skills, poor cognitive and language skills, distrust of others, over‐compliance with authority figures, and a tendency to solve interpersonal problems with aggression.  In their adult life, the long‐term consequences can impact both their family and their community. There are financial costs to the community and society in general, e.g., funding social welfare programs and services and the foster care system.    Studies have shown that physically abused children are at a greater risk for mental illness, homelessness, crime, and unemployment. All of these affect the community and society in general and are the social costs of physical abuse.

work cited:

https://casaspeaks4kids.com/child-abuse-affects-academic-achievement/

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Children not having a parent at home is a quite frightening event. Parents may be away from their child because of various reasons. Situations such as

Incarceration

Living in another country(deportation or immigration)

Potential loss of custody

Parents are actively involved in the military and deployed

Sometimes symptoms  this may include

Negative beliefs

Nightmares

Changes in their behavior

Stomach aches, headaches

Concentration problems

Changes in behavior

Helping children with a traumatic separation is tough and some ways of helping the children are

Talk about what will happen in the future (being positive)

Suggest ways to maintain connections(bring up photos and objects from the missing parent) positive ones of course

Children with Traumatic Separation:Children with Traumatic Separation: Information for Professionals. (n.d.). https://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/resources/children_with_traumatic_separation_professionals.pdf.

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Changing schools, especially when it isn't planned, can be very traumatic for some students. Moving from primary school to high school can be challenging enough, but being the only new student in a school is completely different.

Effects of changing schools/Types of traumatic stress

Changing schools can lead to depression in some students

Changing schools can affect academic performance

Changing schools can also affect social-emotional development

Changing schools can lead to low self-esteem

Strategies to combat the effects of each type of traumatic stress

Depression

(for parents) It's important to try, as much as possible, to maintain some sort of consistency in their lives (e.g. keeping the same routine) to help students hold on to some sense of stability

Maintaining old friendships where possible will also go a long way in combating the potential onset of depression

Academic performance

Parents can make contact with the school/teacher ahead of time and find out what curriculum they use and where in the curriculum they currently are, then the teacher can make recommendations or provide resources to allow the student to prepare (or catch up, if necessary) before they arrive

Students should be supported and encouraged to work hard, especially if they are moving to a more academically rigorous school. Teachers should take the student's academic background into consideration (reach out to parents, previous teachers) and be prepared to differentiate instructions in ways that will meet the new student's academic needs if necessary

Social-emotional development

Provide students with safe, healthy methods to express their emotions. When they do share, sympathize with their fears

Put student in contact with other students who may have gone through a similar experience, so that they feel less alone and could potentially make new friends

Low self-esteem

Teachers can reach out to parents to find out about the students strengths, aptitudes and interests, then make recommendations about what extra-curricular activities are available and also put the student in contact with students with similar interests and skills, providing the new student with opportunities to succeed or showcase their skills

Make a conscious effort to praise students' progress and accomplishments

https://www.verywellmind.com/moving-depression-and-your-child-1066796

https://www.macfound.org/media/files/hhm_brief_-_is_moving_during_childhood_harmful_2.pdf

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Most children welcome new siblings with excitement and affection, but the changes in their lives may also frustrate them. It’s common in children to have a mixture of positive and negative feelings and behaviors after a new brother or sister arrives.

Symptoms:

A lot of children begin to show oppositional behavior that they do not follow the rules anymore. They say “no” a lot.

Become more aggressive, when they do not feel that they are getting their fair share of attention in a positive way, they are likely to set up another way to get it.

Some children may take out their aggressions on a classmate like biting and hitting

Having a hard time to share the toys

Some children become very clingy

Some become very attached to the teachers or attached to one particular friend in the class

"I never get a turn to pour the juice or pick the story," student moaned, "I never get a turn for anything!" he/she was near tears, which isn't exactly true, but everytime when he/she doesnt get a turn, he/she complains

Strategies:

In the classroom

Prepare a lesson plan that facilitates the children’s understanding of mixed emotions they may have in experiencing a new sibling in the family

Have students bring in a photo of themselves as a baby to share in the class

Read stories about children welcoming new siblings into their homes in the class as well as sending home books on siblings

Brown, M.T. (1999).Arthur's New Baby Book. New York:Random House

Cole, J.(1997),I'm a Big Brother. New York: Morrow Junior Books

Cole, J.(1997),I'm a Big Sister. New York: Morrow Junior Books

Corey, D.(1992).Will There Be a Lap For Me? Morton Grove, Ill.: A.Whitman

Hoban, R.(1993).A Baby Sister For Frances. New York: Harper Collins Holabird, K.(1991).Angelina's Baby Sister. New York: G.N. Potter

Keats, J.E.(1992).Peter's Chair. Weston, Ct: Weston Woods

Mayer, M.(1985).The New Baby. New York: Golden Books

Rogers, F.(1985).The New Baby: A Mister Rogers' First Experience Book. New York: Putnam

Scott, A.H.(1972).On Mother's Lap. New York: Clarion Books

Dramatic play: holding, dressing, bathing the baby dolls

Allow students to engage in dramatic play with their peers whenever they wish. It’s beneficial in helping them form an understanding of how to deal with having a new brother or sister in the family

Show students how they can help mommy at home with newborn siblings

Praise students when they are willing to share their toys with their friends in the class

Reach out personally and ask how he/she is doing, whether or not he/she is willing to share what is happening at home

Listen respectfully when student expresses angry, jealous, or resentful feelings about having his/her turn and the like.

Be on the alert for opportunities to praise his/her cooperation, his/her helpfulness, and his/her consideration of others. Point out how good another child feels when she does something nice.

Provide a safe classroom environment where student feels  secured, welcomed and safe to connect with the teacher and peers

Setting up a Parent/Teacher Workshop

Provide parents information on how to prepare children with a newborn sibling

Parents can provide older child with information about pregnancy, birth, and life with newborn that is realistic and appropriate for their child’s age

Allow and encourage older child to feel involved in the process by helping with the babies (holding the baby, bathing together, feeding the baby, helping with diaper changes etc)

Praising older sibling a lot and give them a lot of attention when they can

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When a student spends a lot of time worrying about how other people might think of them, or they feel " less than", or perhaps they tend to over analyse each of their words or actions once the have left a situation, then they are probably suffering from low self-esteem which can contribute to trauma.

Symptoms:

You see people whispering and laughing and immediately think that they must be talking about, or laughing at, you.

When someone you consider to be an authority figure (a parent, a teacher, a policeman) asks you to talk to them, you always have a guilty feeling - as though you've done something wrong, even when you haven't.

You focus on the one negative comment that someone made even though you may have received 3 positive ones.

You believe that people don't want to spend time with you - you are not sure why - but you 'know' it must be your fault.

You cannot understand why friends or parents would want to care about you, or to love you, because you feel you are not worth it.

Teacher and School wide response to symptoms:

The class teacher or the subject teacher must recognise that they are not alone in having to deal with this situation. If a student is displaying behaviours in your class, then it is likely that they are doing the same thing in other classes also.

This is why it is imperative that there is a school wide policy to deal with such situations. The first thing that must happen to help address these problems is that the school must adopt a whole school response. In many countries, the idea of a Trauma Informed School. In these schools, all the adults are trained to a greater or lesser degree, to recognise and to address the problems they see and a policy for such intervention must be put in place.

If a policy has not been put in place, then it is easy for a single teacher to feel that the aberrant  behaviour is only displayed in their classroom and that somehow, it is their fault. In a Trauma Informed School however, the staff are all aware of the students who might display behaviours that are contrary to the expectations of the school because within a professional learning community that has received the correct training, all teachers will support one another.

The thoughtful use of strategies :

Below, I have listed some of the techniques that the teachers will be able to use to help address and counter the negative thoughts that the students have. However, it is important that these techniques are not used without some form of training. A professional counsellor must be put in place to ensure that teachers do not misuse the techniques or apply them incorrectly.

When working with students who have already experienced trauma, it is also possible that a student might mis-understand the teacher's intervention. In the present climate, where some teachers themselves are accused of one form of abuse or another, the teacher must make certain that they are confident about what they are doing and are properly led. This is why the whole teaching team, working together to address the problem, is better that one individual.

Possible strategies / techniques:

Explain to the student that it's difficult just to forget about all the negative thoughts immediately, but that they should try to learn ways to distract themselves from these thoughts. There are some useful techniques people can use such as mindfulness, deep breathing and yoga or other kinds of exercise.

Explain to the student that they can challenge their own thought patterns: ask themselves questions to challenge their negative thoughts like:

1. what is the evidence that proves the thought is the reality?
2. how are you feeling whilst you are having this thought?
3. would you still have this thought if you felt differently?
4. what might be a different explanation for the one you have in your head now?

Positive affirmations: Tell the student that when they feel they are slipping into the negative thoughts, they should try to counter them by telling themselves something positive about themself and their life. Make a list of their accomplishments or the qualities they or other people value in them.

This link gives more activities people can do to help build self-esteem. https://psychcentral.com/lib/12-simple-activities-you-can-do-to-start-building-self-esteem-today#1

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Childhood bullying is so common that it may not seem like a big deal. Up to 35% of people are estimated to have experienced it at some point. By adulthood, we are generally expected to have “got over” it. But the mental health effects of being bullied can be serious and last a lifetime. One study has even suggested that, when it comes to mental health, bullying is as harmful as child abuse, if not worse.

What is Bullying?
Bullying is repeated and intentional threats, physical assaults, and intimidation that occur when individuals or a group exert their real or perceived difference in power or strength on another.

Types of Bullying:
Bullying can take many forms:

Verbal bullying — includes name-calling, threats of harm, and taunting.

Social bullying — can involve excluding someone intentionally, encouraging others to socially exclude someone, spreading rumors, or publicly shaming someone.

Physical bullying — often results in physically harming someone or their belongings by hitting, punching, pushing, spitting, kicking, or tripping.

Cyberbullying — involves using electronic media such as on the Internet, texting, and social media to spread hurtful and damaging stories, rumors, and images. Although cyberbullying can take place anywhere and anytime, this form of bullying often can travel rapidly through a school population and beyond, devastating the victims and leaving them feeling powerless.

Effects of being bullied:

Anger and aggression

Develop anxiety

Develop depression

Difficulty trusting others

Fear

Refusing to go to school

Become socially withdrawn, isolated and lonely

Poor self-esteem and insecurity

Self-destructive behavior

Lower academic achievement

Loss of interest in activities they used to enjoy

Changes in sleeping and eating patterns

Lack of ambition

Unhelpful Statements:

"Bullying is just a part of growing up"

"It helps children deal with the 'real world'"

"It helps children toughen up"

"It never did me any harm"

"It made me who I am today - the bullies did me a favor"

Response Strategies (for those being bullied):

Teaching stress management and relaxation techniques to help them cope. Include a calming area in school, with stress balls, fidget toys, coloring sheets and ripping paper.

Encourage other children to lend a hand and be nice; let child find allies.

Emphasize strength, hope and positivity through activities, discussions etc.

Reducing trauma-related triggers in the school environment

Considering trauma in all assessment and protocol behavior plans

Ensuring students and families have voice, choice, and empowerment

Educate the school community — Incorporate bullying prevention in lesson plans, teach students how to effectively respond to bullying, and provide resources for parents so they can be partners in your anti-bullying efforts.

Establish social and emotional safety in the classroom; classroom contracts, explicit anti-bullying or community-building curricula, timely interventions in conflicts and hurtful exchanges, teaching and modeling of empathy and active listening skills.

Hold bystanders accountable. If they stood up for the bullied child, praise them. If they gave the bully an audience or encouragement, make sure they understand it was wrong to do so.

By adopting trauma-informed approaches, schools can help prevent bullying and trauma at school, and provide a positive school culture for both students and staff. Parents, caregivers, teachers, and schools all play an important role in preventing and addressing bullying and its harmful effects.

Children Bullying:
Children who initiate the bullying often need support as well, particularly with channeling aggression in more positive ways. Like the child who is being bullied, these children often benefit from professional counseling. Indeed, addressing the underlying cause of the aggressive behavior may be more effective than punishments or attempts to teach the child empathy.

Why do children bully?
Children don't bully because they are 'bad kids'. Children engage in all kinds of behavior and that isn't a reflection of who they are as a person. They are still figuring things out. Other reasons why a child might be unkind to others:

This child wants to fit in with a group of friends who are picking on one classmate.

They is getting bullied at home or at school, and is trying to regain a sense of power by acting aggressively towards others.

They is looking for attention from teachers, parents, or classmates and hasn't been successful getting it in other ways.

They are by nature more assertive and impulsive than their peers.

They do not fully grasp how their behavior is making the victim feel.

Response strategies (for those who bully):

Take bullying seriously and make sure your kids understand that you will not tolerate bullying at school or anywhere else. Establish rules about bullying and stick to them.

Communicate and talk through the situation with the child and understand why the aggression is happening; ask questions.

Help foster a positive home environment with parents, if the bullying is due to issues at home.

Provide meaningful consequences; punishments for bullying behavior can be effective, but they should be meaningful and limited in scope.

Monitor the child at all times, follow up with parents on a regular basis.

Teach them more appropriate ways to react to something they don't like, like walking away, instead of being violent, verbally or physically.

Teach children to treat others with respect and kindness, and that its wrong to ridicule differences, and try to instill a sense of empathy for those who are different.

Encourage good behavior; positive reinforcement can be more powerful than negative discipline.

Set a good example; think carefully about how you talk around the children and how you handle problems. If you behave aggressively, chances are they will follow your example.

Links:
These videos are great to show children, from StopBullying.gov:

What To Do If You're Bullied:
https://youtu.be/WwD0Zgk8jGA

Standing Up for Others Being Bullied:
https://youtu.be/F2jZ-STROjo

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Together against school bullying (short version)

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Sometimes, students act out in the classroom because the work isn't challenging or stimulating enough for their level. They could have been moved from another school with different standards, or they could just have a good grasp over what is being taught already. While this struggles to fit into the classical definition of trauma, it is still an emotional response to an event, albeit a far less "terrible" one than other traumas such as bullying or a death in the family. It can be a least mildly traumatic for students to feel as if they are falling behind and it could contribute to trauma later on when a student realizes that they weren't challenged enough in a previous school. It could also stand as a mitigating factor in a student's response to other traumas.

Symptoms:

Student talks to others frequently.

Student disrupts the class with minor behaviors.

Student finishes all work assigned 10-15 minutes before everyone else.

Student falls asleep in the middle of class.

Student gazes out of the window.

Student won't participate in class discussion.

Student corrects/disrespects the teacher.

Student consistently arrives late to the class.

Possible Strategies:

Reach out: The first thing a teacher should do if they suspect a student is under-stimulated is to talk to them outside of class hours. The teacher should ask them why they think they are acting out and give them an opportunity to be honest. They should ask open questions such as "Why do you think you are finishing this assignment so quickly?", or "what are your honest thoughts on this class?". If they shrug off the attempt, at least the teacher has tried to make a connection and can then go onto alternative means.

Ask around: Another strategy is to speak to other teachers in the building that also teach that student. The teacher should ask if the student finishes work quickly in their classes as well. They should ask what strategies other teachers use to manage their behavior or stimulate them more.

Test: The teacher could also go to the student support department, if one is available, and ask that the student be given a diagnostic test. If they do particularly well, the teacher may recommend that the student be moved to a more advanced class. If they do well, but not well enough to warrant a change, the teacher could use the information gathered to adapt the curriculum and differentiate for the student.

Differentiate: The teacher should make sure to give time in each class to focus on the student and give them more challenging work. They could also give them responsibility in the class in order to increase their agency and engagement in what is happening in class.

1. Offer the Most Difficult First

"Gifted students don't need to do 25 problems in math when they can do the five most difficult first to demonstrate mastery," says Brulles. She offers this opportunity to all students, not just those identified as gifted. Students who successfully complete the five problems are excused from that night's homework. If classwork is involved, the teacher simply needs to have a few extension activities on hand—tasks that carry the concept to the next level—for students to work on quietly while others complete the regular assignment.

"Most Difficult First" is one manageable way for teachers to compact the curriculum for their high-ability students. With compacting, students get to "throw away" the part of the curriculum that they already know, while receiving full credit for those competencies. This frees up students to work on more challenging content.

2. Pre-Test for Volunteers

Let's say a teacher is teaching two-digit multiplication. He might do some direct instruction for 10 minutes, then offer students the end-of-chapter test, saying, "If you get 90 percent or higher, you won't have to do the homework or practice work. You'll have different work to do." According to Brulles, some gifted students will take this option, whereas others may decide, "I don't know this; I need the practice work." Again, as in Most Difficult First, this strategy requires having extension work for students who test out of the material.

3. Prepare to Take It Up

Susan Flores, a 2nd grade teacher in Paradise Valley, meets a range of student abilities by using the standard as her baseline. "My desk serves as a staging area. I have several piles of activities there that take a concept up or down."

For example, when the class is working on the distributive property in math, those "piles" might include differentiated worksheets, word problems, and task cards. Depending on how students grasp the concept, Flores can either reteach, offer practice, or enrich.

Flores also uses "choice boards." In math, she might offer nine ways that students can demonstrate learning of multiplication. "Students can [use] one of their iPad apps or create a game. They jump in where they want to jump in," she notes.

All students in Flores's class can choose whether they want to take their learning to the next level. "I don't say, 'Because you're gifted, you get choice, and because you're not gifted, you don't.'" Optional challenge work is available to anyone who wants to try it.

4. Speak to Student Interests

Janice Mak, a gifted cluster teacher and 7th and 8th grade STEM teacher in Paradise Valley, gives students a menu of options in her computer science class. After stu-dents learn the basics of programming—perhaps through an online course from Stanford University or work with Google CS First clubs—they work in teams to create a robot. Students choose the level of complexity, from designing dogs that bark to building miniature disco rooms in which a record plays and lights flash.

Students can also tailor a project to their interests. In a module on architecture, some students designed a playground for Egyptian students using Legos, Build with Chrome, or Minecraft. One student opted instead to recreate the White House using Minecraft.

The Ignite presentation format offers another way for Mak to differentiate work on the basis of student interest. The presenter has exactly 5 minutes and 20 slides, which auto-advance every 15 seconds, to discuss a topic of interest (aligned to the unit). This activity allows students to share their passion with their peers, be it nanotechnology and its role in medicine, the physics of roller coasters, or the latest advances in virtual reality.

According to education expert Jenny Grant Rankin, knowing a student's emotional intensities—what Polish psychologist Kazimierz Dabrowski called "overexcitabilities"—is also key to teaching gifted students. Dabrowski identified five areas of sensitivity that are strongly related to giftedness: psychomotor, sensual, intellectual, imaginational, and emotional.

Overexcitabilities will often appear as quirks, such as compulsive talking or organizing, heightened sensitivity to smells or tastes, insatiable curiosity, or daydreaming. Knowing a student's overexcitabilities can help teachers shape engaging—and personalized—learning experiences. An imaginational student will benefit from an assignment that he's free to complete in a unique way. An intellectual student will prefer to investigate why certain areas of the world struggle with starvation rather than simply listing those areas. Although we tend to see overexcitabilities negatively, they are often accompanied by great creativity, imagination, and drive.

5. Enable Gifted Students to Work Together

According to NAGC, research shows that enabling gifted students to work together in groups boosts their academic achievement and benefits other students in the classroom, as well. When gifted students work together, they challenge themselves in unexpected ways. They bounce ideas off one another and take a peer's idea to a new place. They also learn that as smart as they are, they, too, must exert effort with challenging content—and that they'll sometimes fail along the way.

That said, gifted kids need to work both in and out of their group. "As adults, we have to be able to work with everyone," explains Flores, "and gifted students might not learn this if they're always separated out." Teachers can provide multiple opportunities for heterogeneous groupings through Think-Pair-Shares, Clock Buddies, and Season Teams.

6. Plan for Tiered Learning

This approach relies on planning lessons or units at different tiers of difficulty. But does this require teachers to add to their already full plates?

"I don't see it as doing one more thing; I see it as being more strategic," explains Mak. Teachers have to plan for their lessons, so why not develop deep and complex activities for high-ability students at the same time? This one way of planning—providing work at the entry, advanced, and extension levels or at varying Depth of Knowledge Levels—offers a multiplicity of ways to learn. It may take more time in the planning stage, but it is ultimately more efficient because bored students aren't acting out or zoning out in class—they've got challenging work to do—and struggling students are getting support. Once teachers create these tiered resources, they can use them again and again.

Author Carol Ann Tomlinson advocates teaching up—"a practice of first planning a lesson that's challenging for high-end learners and then differentiating for other learners by providing supports that enable them to access that more sophisticated learning opportunity." It replaces "the more common practice of planning for mid-range performers, then extending that lesson for advanced students and watering it down for others." This approach, Tomlinson says, challenges advanced learners more than trying to pump up a "middling" idea—and serves other students better as well.

Links:
This website outlines strategies for dealing with challenging gifted students: https://www.ascd.org/el/articles/six-strategies-for-challenging-gifted-learners