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I participated in a book club at the Northborough Senior Center recently.  We focused on the book 'When Breath Becomes Air', and while we were introducing ourselves, I mentioned that I had an interest in reading books where people come to terms with their own life. One of these books that I cited is one of my favorites: Mitch Albom's 'Tuesdays with Morrie'. A man sitting across the table from me pulled the book out of a stack he had before him. He had two other books with him, one which I had read and one which I had not. After the discussion, I approached him to ask about the other book. Turns out, it was a book he had written describing how he had navigated hardships in his life. Without hesitating, he handed me the book: "Consider it a gift." Armed with this gift, I am excited to delve into another person's life, experiences, and obstacles. I hope to talk to him again once I reach the end.

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"During his tirade no one had come forward to rescue or welcome him, nor even come to see what was going on" (1).

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"During his tirade no one had come forward to rescue or welcome him, nor even come to see what was going on" (1).

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This sentence struck me less than half a page in, which just goes to demonstrate the power of Trivedi's writing. To me, this statement resonated on a larger scale about the cycle of life. At the end of the day, a person can only count on themselves. In this one sentence, Trivedi establishes the idea of not only loneliness, but of saving yourself because nobody else can. As it relates to his story, he was not able to save his mother. What he could control, however, was how hard he worked to succeed in a way that would make his mother proud. There are certain aspects of life under our control, but it can be a lonely journey toward betterment of self.

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"Grandma tripped and fell on the snake.  It was all over in a few minutes.  Her last words were 'Don't kill the snake god'" (14).

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"Grandma tripped and fell on the snake.  It was all over in a few minutes.  Her last words were 'Don't kill the snake god'" (14).

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In Indian culture, Travedi explains that the snake is a revered creature. A cobra had made its home in the attic of his grandparents' house. The snake fell out of the rafters one day, and his grandmother tripped over it and died. To me, this brings up an interesting question of what is the value of life? Does one creature's life innately mean more than another? It seems that according to Travedi's beliefs that every life has equal meaning. The compassion his grandmother demonstrated shocks me. It reminded me of the Bible story where Jesus is hanging on the cross in immeasurable pain, yet his last words were to ask God to forgive the two criminals hanging alongside him as well as those who stood below him. It would seem that this type of compassion and forgiveness transcends religions into possibly some kind of universal truth.

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"She joined her hands and asked him to forgive her for her shortcomings and thanked him for a wonderful life together.  He did not let her finish, held her hands and said 'Aavjo'" (22). 

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"She joined her hands and asked him to forgive her for her shortcomings and thanked him for a wonderful life together.  He did not let her finish, held her hands and said 'Aavjo'" (22). 

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'Aavjo' is the word for 'come back'. Trivedi describes how goodbyes sound so final. It is interesting or me to see how people reflect on their lives, which is why Ba's words before her surgery stuck out. Her outlook on life is grateful and without grudge. At the end of one's life, isn't that all one can hope for? To be happy with the life she has lived? To be thankful for the blessings that have been given to you? To die in peace without resentment or fear? Ganga sets a moral example here of what we all deep down aspire to be.

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"Kaka felt that without grandma, the lion had lost his wild growl and had gone to seek his lioness" (24).

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"Kaka felt that without grandma, the lion had lost his wild growl and had gone to seek his lioness" (24).

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Often, the women in our lives are some of the most important people. A mother is the most formative person in a young infant's life, both figuratively and literally. It is often strong woman that have gotten people through the most difficult of times. For me personally, I look up to both of my grandmothers and my mother as role models, because of the hard work and sacrifices they have undergone. In this book, parental sacrifice is a reoccurring motif, and though I am not far in, it helps me realize perspective and how much my parents do for me.

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"Kaka had his hands joined in supplication for a long time until Pushpa had the courage to hold him and bring him back to the waiting room."

Supplication: n. the action of asking or begging for something earnestly humbly

The beggar on the side of the road stooped in supplication over his rugged bedding and empty collection cup.

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"It is a long way away.  And they call it the Dark Continent.  And you don't know the language and we have young kids..." (31).

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"It is a long way away.  And they call it the Dark Continent.  And you don't know the language and we have young kids..." (31).

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This sentiment was in response to a suggestion for the family to move to Africa. Lately in history, we have been discussing the effects and issues regarding point of view, especially when it comes to certain nations and histories. Here is a prime example. The effects of calling Africa "the Dark Continent" paints it in a negative, uncivilized light. I have no idea where this nickname originated, but in general, it is important to consider the connotation of words and labels, lest they demean others and their origins.

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"The police had charged with sticks.  No one trusted anyone.  The world had just gone mad" (40).

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"The police had charged with sticks.  No one trusted anyone.  The world had just gone mad" (40).

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Although Trivedi is writing about Gandhi's shooting in the late 1940s, I found this quote to be just as relevant today. In today's world, where police brutality can be seen as a prominent issue, the idea of trust becomes even more important. Trust is the foundation of all relationships - individual to individual, daughter to family, government to people. Without trust, we have nothing. Especially now, with the current state of affairs, many people harbor doubts surrounding their rights and freedoms. These innate rights are the most important asset we as people have, yet how far will the government go to protect them equally for all citizens? I hope their efforts extend to become more far-reaching, otherwise the world might just go mad.

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"He did not understand the words and she did not understand him speaking vilayati (foreign) English.  He sometimes threw in a word or two or Hindi, like "achcha" (well) and made her smile" (49).

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"He did not understand the words and she did not understand him speaking vilayati (foreign) English.  He sometimes threw in a word or two or Hindi, like "achcha" (well) and made her smile" (49).

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For me, this quote served as a reminder of the importance of remaining sensitive to and celebrating others' differences. The world is composed of so many people, cultures, and methods of communication. Particularly under the US government administration currently, there seems to be a movement towards nationalism and an "America First" type of mentality. Let us not forget the immigrants on which our country was founded and the languages on which our identity was built. America has always prided itself as a diverse melting pot - why change that now when it can be so easy to accept others and make them smile?

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"So [Hassan] put [the envelope] in the drawer and wanted to ensure that father would be more careful in the future.  This was the father's turn to be humbled and speechless" (62).  

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"So [Hassan] put [the envelope] in the drawer and wanted to ensure that father would be more careful in the future.  This was the father's turn to be humbled and speechless" (62).  

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As much as our parents teach us, we often forget that they learn from us as well. People impact the people around them and different perspectives yield different results. Only pride stands in the way of receiving these other perspectives and taking them into account. In solely holding onto your own perspective, you lose sight of the value of others' opinions and ideas. There are many different lenses through which life can be looked. Male, female, old, young - these will all be different depending on circumstances, background, outlook, and experience. I find that while my opinions sometimes clash with my parents' , they always have wisdom to share. I wonder what they have taken from me.

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"They may think they own my body, but I will not let them touch my family" (71).

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"They may think they own my body, but I will not let them touch my family" (71).

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Familial pride and loyalty runs rampant throughout this book and Travedi's life. While I believe part of it is due to the cultural norm, I am continually impressed by how much they support and rely on each other. For me at least, I know it can be easy to get wrapped up in my own agenda and act selfishly with my time. Travedi's family is the antithesis of that: they always come together and make sacrifices for each other's good. I think this is something I could learn from in trying to be a better daughter, sister, and person overall.

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"He kept on throwing a barrage of words at us, but we beat a fast retreat" (59).

Barrage: n. a concentrated artillery bombardment over a wide area

The opposing army sent a barrage of flaming material over our fort wall, sending soldiers into fear and disarray.

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"The project was not only another site for a school, but expansion of the school as a learning center, a cultural center and a community meeting place" (77).

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"The project was not only another site for a school, but expansion of the school as a learning center, a cultural center and a community meeting place" (77).

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Here at Algonquin, we all acknowledge that we are privileged, but we often fail to understand and appreciate exactly how much education and schools are valued around the world. Trivedi's writing makes clear the emphasis placed on education as a treasure and prize. The children and townspeople are beyond grateful to have a school at all, even one with one room and one teacher to educate kindergarten through sixth grade. We often take for granted our large school, extensive resources, and teachers that can spend one-on-one time with us. As a female particularly, Trivedi mentions that the women in the village lacked education and did not work. I feel lucky to be able to receive the same opportunities as my male counterparts and to be able to pursue my own ambitions, because not everybody has the same abilities. Even now, I'm sure I could improve my understanding of the educational hardships across the globe, but Trivedi's account provided some insight on the privileges we have in a wealthy Massachusetts community.

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"We studied English and Arabic in the morning and Gujarati and Hindi in the afternoon.  Then my father tried to get some Sanskrit in as well" (87).

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"We studied English and Arabic in the morning and Gujarati and Hindi in the afternoon.  Then my father tried to get some Sanskrit in as well" (87).

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I am continually amazed upon hearing how many languages children overseas learn.  Over the summer, when my family visited Italy, I met my mother's friend who was fluent in six languages.  Language is such a beautiful art and skill, and I have such an appreciation for those who can speak multiple languages. Certain sentiments telling immigrants coming to America to speak English and assimilate sadden me because it's so fascinating to learn of these cultural differences. I hope to travel a lot in my life, and I would love to be able to communicate with people in their native tongue, especially since we as Americans tend to travel and expect other countries to cater to our English.

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"I had no clear idea of the concept of arranged marriages... I told my sisters not to worry.  It will all work out.  'You don't understand anything.' was their reply" (91).

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"I had no clear idea of the concept of arranged marriages... I told my sisters not to worry.  It will all work out.  'You don't understand anything.' was their reply" (91).

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I actually have a lot of questions about arranged marriages and how they are looked upon in Indian culture. From my perspective, growing up on American values, it seems like it would be difficult to have a marriage based on something other than love, especially when the man can sometimes be much older and controlling. However, I know it would be arrogant to then say that all arranged marriages are controlling and wrong, and some certainly can be happy and fulfilling. Trivedi's sisters, Pushpa and Ranjan, seem to align more with my line of thinking and are scared to be given away. I wonder if this is the norm for girls, or if they respect and support that system, and I could not answer that given my limited perspective.

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"I felt we must be some kind of celebrity and tried to capture some of it on my brand new camera.  However it was new to me and most of my subjects had their heads cut off in the pictures.  Some had trees growing out of their heads" (108).

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"I felt we must be some kind of celebrity and tried to capture some of it on my brand new camera.  However it was new to me and most of my subjects had their heads cut off in the pictures.  Some had trees growing out of their heads" (108).

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Technology is definitely another thing we extremely take for granted around here. My eleven year old sister alone has her own iPad and iPod touch and can operate all of the applications and functions. Yet here is Trivedi, around the same age, only just now discovering how to use a basic camera. We are so lucky to have these assets and forget how far it is from the norm. Perhaps we could be happier and more appreciative of our surroundings by unplugging sometimes, because it certainly seems like Trivedi learned how to make the most of his childhood and his life despite having comparatively "less".

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"Most of them had similar stories.  Boy meets girl.  They sometimes hit it off, sometimes not.  However the other one persisted and they fell in love, whatever that mushy stuff was" (119).

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"Most of them had similar stories.  Boy meets girl.  They sometimes hit it off, sometimes not.  However the other one persisted and they fell in love, whatever that mushy stuff was" (119).

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Despite cultural differences, some things are universal. Love is one of them. Love can overcome barriers of language and culture and everyone can become fluent. Love does not exclude or discriminate. One of my favorite things about this book so far is the way different people can communicate through caring, no matter what language they speak. Small efforts and acts of kindness can go a long way, and it can be so easy to be kind.

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"Another game was arm wrestling... When it was my turn to wrestle Mahesh, the whole bus was so energized, cheering and loud.  The driver stopped and bus and the teacher came back and threw us both out.  We were about one mile home, so we ran and got home at a seemingly normal time" (135).

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"Another game was arm wrestling... When it was my turn to wrestle Mahesh, the whole bus was so energized, cheering and loud.  The driver stopped and bus and the teacher came back and threw us both out.  We were about one mile home, so we ran and got home at a seemingly normal time" (135).

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Part of growing up is making mistakes and finding yourself. All kids are going to do stupid things and get in trouble and try to get away with it. While there are many differences between the way Trivedi grew up and my own childhood, this is something that resonated with me and I'm sure all people have felt in some point in their lives. Nobody is perfect, and coming to that understanding is a fundamental part of coming of age.

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"I could not believe my fortune that my parents were considering sending me to London" (148).

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"I could not believe my fortune that my parents were considering sending me to London" (148).

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College apps, SATs, ACTs, an endless whirlpool of questions and stress. The anxiety with which we look at college tends to overshadow how amazing of an opportunity a college education is. Here, Trivedi paints college as a blessing, an amazing gift that he can and will take full benefit of. While yes, college can be stressful and difficult, it also has rewards that last far beyond graduation. In general, the gratitude Trivedi feels towards everything he has been given in his life is something I need to incorporate more into my life. I know I have much to be thankful for, but I should work towards appreciating it more and living my life like the gift it is.

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"I left my mother and family to complete the final year of my studies.  I graduated in August.  She passed away in July" (160).

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"I left my mother and family to complete the final year of my studies.  I graduated in August.  She passed away in July" (160).

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Nothing in this book hit me quite as hard as these last few lines. In three sentences, the amount of pride, grief, and pain is overwhelming. I can imagine that it was what his mother would have wanted, and I'm sure she had hoped he would maximize his potential. I know he made her proud. Yet the sacrifices made on both ends were substantial. She sacrificed everything for her children and for their success, so in a way it was only right that he carried out her wish, even if it was at the expense of not getting to say goodbye.

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"It was supposed to look like a jibba worn by a male, but really looked more like a girl's dress" (85).

Jibba: n. a long coat worn by Muslim men

The man sported a jibba and long pants on his long journey to Mecca to complete his pilgrimage, or hajj.