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Winter Break 2026_Student and Family Wellness Resource Line Logo

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Employee Assistance Service for Education (EASE)

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Employee Assistance Service for Education (EASE)

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Employee Assistance Service for Education (EASE) / Employee Assistance Service for Education (EASE)

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In collaboration with the Los Angeles County Office of Education (LACOE) and Los Angeles Unified we are proud to introduce the Employee Assistance Service for Education (EASE) program. EASE is an assessment and brief counseling service available to all Los Angeles Unified employees and their families. In addition, EASE provides consultation to managers and supervisors on dealing with emotional issues in the workplace. Our goal is to provide you with convenient access to a broad range of services. We encourage you to explore all of the other links on our page as well, and to bookmark our site for future reference. To communicate with EASE, call the 24/7 access line 1-800-882-1341 Counseling Services Connect with EASE

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Passion and Purpose: Stories from School Psychologists

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Passion and Purpose: Stories from School Psychologists

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Passion and Purpose: Stories from School Psychologists

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A Parent's Story: How a School Psychologist Changed My Child's Life

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A Parent's Story: How a School Psychologist Changed My Child's Life

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A Parent’s Story: How a School Psychologist Changed My Child’s Life

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How School Psychologists Partner with Families to Support Youth

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How School Psychologists Partner with Families to Support Youth

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How School Psychologists Partner with Families to Support Youth

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School Psychologists: Helping Children Thrive

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School Psychologists: Helping Children Thrive

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School Psychologists: Helping Children Thrive

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Daily actions to help you find new ways of moving forward.

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From Tragedy To Transformation

Sandy Hook Promise is a national nonprofit organization founded and led by several family members whose loved ones were killed at Sandy Hook Elementary School on December 14, 2012. Based in Newtown, Connecticut, our intent is to honor all victims of gun violence by turning our tragedy into a moment of transformation. By empowering youth to “know the signs,” we can unite everyone who values protecting children. Together, we can take action in schools, homes, and communities. This will help prevent gun violence and stop the tragic loss of life.

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The only national nonprofit organization dedicated to preventing shootings, gun violence, and harmful acts that hurt children.

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Harmony Academy is the trusted resource for fostering healthy relationships, belonging, and well-being across the country. We empower educators, schools, and families with tools and strategies to create learning experiences that help every student feel supported and ready to learn.

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Sanford Harmony Academy provides educators with professional learning and curriculum resources that support healthy relationships.

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Supporting teacher and staff member well-being improves staff retention and student outcomes. Kaiser Permanente’s free calendar of resources offers practical tools and strategies to help educators and staff feel supported throughout the year. Please find it attached and feel free to share with others.

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Ripple Effects for Teens - Topics July 2022

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Ripple Effects for Teens-Implementer's Guide

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Ripple Effects for Teens-Implementer's Guide

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Implementer's Guide to Ripple Effects for Teens

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Introduction to Ripple Effects Power Point

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Introduction to Ripple Effects Power Point

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Zones of Regulation Training Power Point

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Zones of Regulation Training Power Point

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Use of iPad Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Use of iPad Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Aligning to Counseling Goal Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Aligning to Counseling Goal Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Adapting Program Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Adapting Program Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Lesson Organization Video Clip

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LAUSD Secondary Zones Lesson Organization Video Clip

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Updated 1/23
Are you teaching sarcasm to your students and clients during speech therapy or counseling? It's a nuanced topic and people have strong opinions about the its place in the world as a communication tool. Some SLPs and parents wonder if detecting sarcasm is a skill we should (or shouldn't) be teaching students with autism during our speech therapy sessions. So, let's begin with clarity. It is not my intent with this post to encourage you to teach children to use sarcasm. I am not advocating we teach every student with autism how to it. That choice is not mine. I personally DO teach many of my autistic students how to detect sarcasm, especially since it is used all around them and is prevalent (along with its companion, irony) in literature. If you have clients that have goals for detecting or knowing when to use sarcasm, this blog post should be helpful to you. If you are looking for the overall steps or elements to teaching students how to detect sarcasm, you could start with this prior blog post on the elements of teaching sarcasm.

Teaching Sarcasm-define it.

Let's start the process of teaching sarcasm by examining what it's not and look at the opposite of sarcasm. Some therapists contrast " serious" with "sarcastic" but I prefer to use "sincere" as the contrasting term. Using "serious" as the contrasting concept makes sense to me only if you accept that sarcasm is only used to be fun, humorous or playful. By accepting that definition, we're not aknowledging that sarcasm can be hurtful. Since most of us aknowledge that sarcasm can also be used to mock others or convey contempt, I prefer to use "sincere" as the opposite of sarcasm, which means to be open and genuine, not deceitful.

Let's take a deep dive! It's complicated-devote some TIME to it. I use the concept definition map from my free subscriber's resource library to establish an agreed upon definition. You might also have students fill out what they can on the map before instruction, and then fill in anything they missed, after instruction.

Teaching Sarcasm-Youtube Videos

If you need something more light-hearted, check out this video: A sarcasm introduction, a clip from the cartoon, Foster's home for imaginary friends, 2:39.

Detecting and Interpreting Sarcasm

Use this clip from the Big Bang Theory 2:16 to help students understand why it's important to both detect, and interpret, sarcasm.

It can be hard to tell when someone is using sarcasm. Why? It isn't identified by words only. It is usually communicated by any or all of the following:

1. facial expressions (like the classic eye roll below) and body language,

2. tone of voice and word choice,

3. a mismatch between the words and the context or other clues and

4. consideration of what you know about the person.

Once students learn how to detect it in your speech therapy session, I like to teach clients some general rules they can use to interpret the REAL MEANING behind a sarcastic statement.

1. The real meaning of a sarcastic comment is often the opposite of the spoken message.

2. Sarcasm is often some type of a between what is said and what the speaker actually means. I use images of mismatched socks or shoes as in the following image from my set of BOOM cards on detecting sarcasm.

Teaching Sarcasm in Written Communication

Sarcasm is all around us! We use it in texts, emails and on social media so many students are taught how to identify it in written communication. In written communication we aren't provided with the important tone of voice signs but we do have the following signs of sarcasm to guide us.

Signs of sarcasm in texts, e-mails and on social media:

exaggerated language or words that don't match the rest of the message,

capital and bold face letters, use of italics, and extra vowels (riiiight),

certain Emojis (eye rolls, upside down smiley face),

certain Hashtags (#sarcasm #notreally),

a mismatch between the words and context or other parts of the message, and

consideration of what you know about the person that wrote it (do they use sarcasm? have they used it with you before)?

I have a complete BOOM cards lesson on detecting sarcasm in texts, emails and on social media.

There's a sample slide below!

Another fun way to teach speech therapy students to identify it in written form is by using sarcastic t-shirts. I wanted to link to some online t-shirt stores but the content is often inappropriate. So, I designed my own set of BOOM cards: T-shirt Inferencing and Sarcasm! Sample slide below!

Using Sarcasm (when and where?)

Perhaps you have students that misuse or overuse it. Teach them that there's a time and a place for using sarcasm, and the differences between sarcasm that is polite and friendly versus sarcasm that is aggressive.

Sarcasm can be used in a friendly, joking or humorous way. It is also used to embarrass, mock, belittle or establish a sense of power over another person. So, when I'm teaching about the use of sarcasm, I teach students that there are two kinds, "friendly" (or polite) sarcasm and "aggressive" (or mean) sarcasm. This gives students the framework needed to understand when their sarcasm has crossed a line from "joking" to "hurtful."

Friendly sarcasm can include jokes, puns or sarcasm about a conflict or frustration that two people share, such as when one student comments to another student in a shared class about their teacher, "oh, I just LOVE Mr. Anderson" in a sarcastic tone with an eye roll. These students are sharing a frustration over a teacher and this type of sarcasm can actually help build a relationship, as opposed to aggressive sarcasm, which can hurt a relationship. In my BOOM deck on using sarcasm, students practice identifying friendly and aggressive sarcasm and then evaluate social situations to determine if sarcasm is appropriate for use in the situation.

Sample slide below!

Links to Products in this post

All of the decks (except T-shirt Inferences and Sarcasm) have a pretest, self-rating and complete lesson with multiple choice and open-ended knowledge checks.

You can either purcase the four BOOM decks on sarcasm through the Teachers Pay Teacher's links below:
BOOM cards: Detecting Sarcasm BOOM cards: Identifying Sarcasm: texts, emails and social media BOOM cards: Using Sarcasm BOOM cards: T-shirt Inferences and Sarcasm SARCASM Bundle of BOOM cards
They are all available in my store on the BOOM Learning website too!

Want Access to my Free Resource Library? Join the Newsletter!

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Teaching Sarcasm: Understanding and Use!

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Updated 1/23 Are you teaching sarcasm to your students and clients during speech therapy or counseling? It's a nuanced topic and people have strong opinions about the its place in the world as a communication tool. Some SLPs and parents wonder if detecting sarcasm is a skill we should (or shouldn't) be teaching students with autism during our speech therapy sessions.

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Teaching Personal Space: Middle High School

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September is a great time to teach personal space skills with your middle and high school students during your in-person or online speech therapy or special education sessions. Of course, you may need to revisit the topic throughout the year! This blog post is on personal space activities with older students.

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Do you teach the skills of topic appropriateness and oversharing to your students with social communication problems? Do you have students that don't know what information to share with others? Do they have a good understanding of what things you can say to friends versus family versus strangers? Topic appropriateness and oversharing are two important social communication skills to cover with your older students, especially if they use social media. When you help students understanding oversharing, they can become better digital citizens too!

Teaching Sequence: Topic Appropriateness

Here is the general sequence I use to teach students with social communication difficulties about topic appropriateness.

Circle of Communication Partners

An anchor visual for teaching both topic appropriateness and oversharing is the circle of communication partners, similar to the circle of friends or circle of supports used to teach autistic individuals about various social supports. The people are to you in the circle, the more personal types of information you can usually share with them. As people in each part of the circle get further away, the less personal things we typically share with them.

Which one should I teach first?

I prefer to teach topic appropriateness first, then oversharing. The vocabulary is similar and the content definitely overlaps. An important aspect of topic appropriateness to teach is the definition of an acquaintance and what types of information can be shared with them. If it is too much content to teach your student about ALL the groups in the circle of communication partners, make sure you teach them about "acquaintances" and " strangers."

In my topic appropriateness packet, I start out by differentiating the concepts of "friend" from "acquaintance" and "family." Then, I move on to "teachers," "community helpers" and "strangers." I prefer to separate teachers from community helpers because our learners are typically students, and the information they share with a teacher is quite different from other community helpers, such as a dentist.

Be sure to cover the concept of the "right time and place," as this is important in both topic appropriateness and oversharing. For example, it is more socially acceptable to use profanity around friends than teachers or classmates. That is the "right" time. The right place for profanity would be during an informal gathering, not the classroom.

Products for Teaching Topic Appropriateness:

I have both print and no print options for teaching students about topic appropriateness.

Check out the links below!
Topic Appropriateness: Boom Cards Only
Topic Appropriateness: PDF, Boom Cards and EASEL

Types of Oversharing

Oversharing is when we share too much personal or private information about ourselves to people who might not be interested. An example would be a teenager talking about her boyfriend problems to her new adult neighbors. Another kind of oversharing is when we share too many details about something, rather than just summarizing it or choosing a highlight of an event to share. An example would be: if someone asks you about your weekend, and you tell them everything you did all weekend, instead of one special thing, or a summary. So, one can overshare by sharing the wrong of information with someone OR sharing a large amount of details. Oversharing occurs in conversations, digital communications, and is common on social media.

Oversharing: how do we teach it?

Where can Oversharing be found?

Oversharing comes with risks. Sharing certain types of information can harm your reputation, lead to identify theft, and ruin your chances of employment. Oversharing often depends on WHO we are talking to at the time. For example, it may be okay to talk about back acne to your doctor but it would be oversharing to talk to your classmate about it.

Other Teaching Tips:

1. Trust plays an important part in both topic appropriateness and oversharing. I find it helpful to cover that we share private information with people we trust. What does trust feel like? What it's not! Can you trust everyone on social media? What trust looks and feels like to students!

2. People can change from acquaintance to friend if you spend more time with them and trust them. It takes time and shared experiences for people to trust eachother. The categories of "acquaintance" and "friend" are not static.

Products for Teaching about Oversharing

Oversharing: BOOM Cards Only Oversharing: PDF, BOOM Cards and EASEL These products are also available in a money-saving bundle! Topic Appropriateness and Oversharing: Boom Cards Only
Topic Appropriateness and Oversharing: Print and No Print Bundl e

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Do you teach the skills of topic appropriateness and oversharing to your students with social communication problems? Do you have students that don't know what information to share with others? Do they have a good understanding of what things you can say to friends versus family versus strangers?

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updated 3/2023
How do you teach your students to succeed in joining a conversation during your speech therapy sessions? An important social competency, it can be a difficult social communication skill for many of us to acquire, especially when we are joining a conversation with unfamiliar people. I like to start by discussing with my students that there are two main reasons we engage in social conversations:

1. To work towards establishing a relationship with people we do not know well, and

2. The enhancement of an relationship among two (or more) communication partners.

When we are establishing relationships, it often involves chit-chat and small talk. It's like waving a flag that says, " hey, I'm here" and "I'm a good person to know." This can lay the groundwork for positive future interactions. When talking with people we know (where we have an relationship), our communication exchanges serve to enhance our relationships. We strive to get to know eachother in a more meaningful way. For more information on communication responses that help develop meaningful relationships, check out this prior blog post on the conversation point scale.

For both communication scenarios (establish/enhance) people show their attitudes and emotions using verbal and nonverbal communication (often at the same time). So, whether establishing or enhancing a relationship, we focus not only on the words the other person is saying, but also on their nonverbal cues-their tone of voice, facial expression, body language. We also consider the context of the situation. What other people are present? What is happening? Are we in a formal or an informal situation? Essentially, we scan our surroundings to see what is going on around us that might influence what we say and how we say it. If our students are having unsuccessful social interactions, it may be because they are focusing on only the words being said to them, not the surrounding context or nonverbal communication.

Teach Four Ways to Initiate Conversations:

Start out by viewing this clip from the Ellen show on small talk. It is 3:40 long and it's a monologue about the awkwardness of making small talk at events. Then, review and discuss the following ways people make small talk. See if your students can find any examples of these four ways of initiating conversations in Ellen's monologue!

You can also use this video to teach the four ways to start conversations.

Small Talk

Small talk is great for when you want to have a quick interaction with another person. You might not have lots of time to have a lengthy conversation or you are unfamiliar with eachother, so you make a quick, positive comment about the weather, sports or a shared interest. For small talk, don't discuss politics or religion.

Sincere Compliments

Sincere Compliments are a great way to make an impression on someone you don't know...but perhaps would like to know better. Compliments work best when they are authentic and not always about a person's looks. They don't sound sincere if they are exaggerated or if sarcasm is used. It can be helpful to contrast a sincere compliment with your students and an insincere one where sarcasm is used.

Asking Relevant Questions

Asking a relevant question is a nice way to find out more information about other people and get to know them better. When establishing a relationship, questions should not be overly personal and are received best when stated positively.

Comment about setting: Another way to start a conversation is to make comments or observations about the environment or situation. This can include what another person is doing, how nice the party decorations look etc.

Practice with Initiating Conversations

View this video "appropriate topics for small talk" by Extra English Practice (6:25). Then, pause the video when the words "appropriate or inappropriate?" flash on the screen. Have your student(s) answer during the pause. Then, hit play to see the answer. Consider: when a speaker asks an inappropriate question, how does the other speaker react verbally and nonverbally?

After the video, use my free set of BOOM cards, "Initiate the conversation." If you are not familiar with BOOM cards, this blog post might be helpful. This set of BOOM cards provides a photograph and background information for a social scenario to provide necessary context to students. Students choose what they would say to start a conversation. Then, it scaffolds into having students generate what they would say in situations. This set of BOOM cards focuses on the language and context of starting a conversation.

After the BOOM cards, have students practice starting conversations using one of the four ways discussed above! Use this customized spinner from Super Teacher Tools so they can spin and choose the conversation starter! Then, once they choose the starter you can tell the student who they would be talking to (boss, co-worker, parent of a friend, person on subway, clerk in a store). Practice opportunities are so important so you can intervene and support while they are performing the skill.

Joining a conversation that is established:

Tips and Nonverbal Communication

Since joining an existing conversation already implies that a conversation is already happening between 2 or more people, it's helpful for students to consider the differences between 1:1 and group conversations so they can manage their expectations.
These differences include:

The amount of listening (versus talking) can be higher in group conversations. Why? It's math. In one on one conversations, each person roughly talks around 50% of the time, or at least that's the goal. In a group conversation of three people, each person will only be able to talk 33% of the time. As the groups gets larger, the group members have less talking time. In a large group, we have more opportunities to focus on active listening, than speaking. Have your students do the math (by taking 100 and dividing by the number of people). How many opportunities would we get to talk in a group of or ten?

2. Nonverbal Communication and Active Listening: In group conversations, students should be aware that their contributions (and the contributions of other group members) could be more nonverbal (head nodding in agreement, tilting head or furrowing eyebrows in disagreement, smiling, switching eye gaze to the speaker etc.). Therefore, it makes sense for us to be teaching our students how to identify and use nonverbal communication. You might find this prior post on nonverbal communication helpful. This set of BOOM cards on identifying emotion from facial expressions can be a good teaching tool too.

Have your students view this video from Extra English Practice, (9:03) on Active listening. There is a good contrast of " good" active listening and " bad" active listening and a nice summary of the skills used in the conversation.

3. My students often complain about not getting noticed in group conversations. At these times, I let them know that they may need to "up" their energy to get noticed. That means using a louder voice (but not shouting) and using a few body gestures. If they are trying to talk, using a subtle open-hand or arm gesture is one way to signal that they have something to say. They are not raising their hands, as in a classroom but just slowly moving the palm of their hand up and away from their bodies.

4. Look for "join us" body language. Unfortunately, there is no flashing sign. So we teach students to look for body language that shows the people are open to having another person join the conversation. Joining a conversation involves a certain amount of risk that the group may not welcome the " joiner." Help your students identify "green light" or "join us" body language that looks friendly and open compared to "red light" body language that looks unfriendly or indicates it's not the best time to join in this group. Have students look for smiles and relaxed body postures. Interpreting folding of arms is a tricky one. I encourage students to look at other clues, such as facial expressions, when they see closed arms.

Green and Red Light Body Language

Activity Idea for Identifying green and red light body language: Here's a social communication game for practicing this skill! Play a charades game where you write out the nonverbal communication signs below. When other students guess the action or emotion, they must also tell what this type of communication can mean or indicate in a conversation. Teletherapist? Display these on a whiteboard and have student(s) guess which one is being modeled.

Practice Joining Conversations!

You can start out using this youtube clip from Social Pragmatics: do and don't of joining a conversation (1:44). Point out how the "joiner" makes eye contact with one of the girls just as she's starting to talk to them!

Then, use the set of BOOM cards on "joining a conversation," (pictured above) to explore the following five steps to joining existing conversations. Practice social scenarios are included in this deck of BOOM cards. Here's the five steps to joining a conversation that are taught in this set of BOOM cards.

Steps to Joining Conversations

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updated 3/2023 How do you teach your students to succeed in joining a conversation during your speech therapy sessions? An important social competency, it can be a difficult social communication skill for many of us to acquire, especially when we are joining a conversation with unfamiliar people.

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Well Being Check in Guide Post Covid-Secondary-Students

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Well Being Check in Student book Post Covid-Secondary-Students

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Wellness Check In Restart and Renew Toolkit. The toolkit includes three areas to extend current mental health supports in schools: I. Student Screening II.“2C” session curriculum for school mental health clinicians to Check-in on student well-being and support III. Facilitator Guide to Support Educators as School Restarts“[The

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Wellness Check In Restart and Renew Toolkit. The toolkit includes three areas to extend current mental health supports in schools: I. Student Screening II.“2C” session curriculum for school mental health clinicians to Check-in on student well-being and support III. Facilitator Guide to Support Educators as School Restarts“[The

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Ophelia Project Relationship Aggression Middle School Curriculum

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Love is Not Abuse Teen dating Curriculum

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10 Tips for Talking to Teens About Healthy Relationships

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self-management skills.2a: Students use effective 

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Restorative Practices

Provides a proactive systematic approach for schools to build a positive school culture that
promotes School-Wide Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports. Restorative practices emphasize community building and commit to restoring positive relationships. Restorative practices promote and strengthen positive school culture. It allows school staff to commit to the creation of an environment focused on instruction and positive behavioral support which leads to academic success for all students. School communities implement school-wide expectations and restorative practices in unison with stakeholder groups to ensure successful positive school climates, stronger school communities, productive interpersonal relationships, and tools to address student misconduct.

The District adopted the School Climate Bill of Rights in May 2013 and committed to implementing restorative practices in all schools by 2020.

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Positive Behavior Intervention and Support_RP / PBIS RP - Restorative Practices

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Restorative Practices Provides a proactive systematic approach for schools to build a positive school culture that promotes School-Wide Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports. Restorative practices emphasize community building and commit to restoring positive relationships. Restorative practices promote and strengthen positive school culture.

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Nice Tutorial on the importance of Self-Control with suggestions on how to implement strategies to increase Self-Control

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Nice Tutorial on the importance of Self-Control with suggestions on how to implement strategies to increase Self-Control

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Voiceover] One aspect about ourselves that has a lot of influence on how we behave, is how much self control we have. And when we talk about self control, we're talking about the ability to control our impulses and delay our gratification. Humans naturally have desires, which are motivations associated with pleasure, or release from displeasure.

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Kid President's Guide to Making a New Friend

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Personal Boundaries Explained - Setting The Emotional Boundaries You Need | BetterHelp

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Article on how to practice active listening skills

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Article on how to practice active listening skills

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I am a huge proponent of the power of communication. Effective communication can make nearly every phase of your life better.

Strong communication skills will help you succeed in business and will positively impact your personal relationships. On the other hand, poor communication can lead to a wide variety of challenges in all of your relationships. It's a skill that can have a profound influence on nearly every phase of your life.

While you might not immediately think of listening as a key component to communication, it really is. Half of all communication is listening.

To be a really good communicator, you have to learn how to truly listen. I can show you how. Follow along to find out how to practice active listening, I will share with you a step by step guide.

What Is Active Listening?

Let's start with a definition of active listening.

Active listening, like you might guess, means that you are actively listening to the person that is speaking. It means really paying attention to the person as they are talking to you. This is different that the passive hearing that is done in many conversations.

Active listening involves using many of your senses to listen to the person. It also means giving the person your full attention. You need to show the other person that you are truly listening to them, your body language will convey this to the person that is talking to you.

Think of it as your ears truly hearing, your brain thoroughly processing, and the rest of your body showing that you are fully present in the moment and engaged on what is being said. This is a good way to visualize active listening.

The Importance of Active Listening

Before we dive into the nuts and bolts of how to practice active listening, let's first look at why active listening is important.

If you agree that being a good communicator will have great benefits in all of your relationships, then you most likely agree that listening is an important part of communication. And it is.

Here's a few reasons why it's well worth practicing active listening whenever possible:

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Builds Mutual Trust

When someone sees that you are actively listening, they immediately think that you care about what they are saying. It's well known that most of us gain great satisfaction from being understood. It's one of those things that just makes us feel good.

When you are showing someone that you are very interested in what they are saying, they can't help but feel like you are seeking to understand them. This in turn greatly affects how much they feel they can trust you.

Boost Self Confidence

People who are good at active listening tend to have higher self esteem and a higher self image. This is because they are skilled at working towards establishing and building strong, positive relationships.

People who do this on a regular basis tend to feel confident in their abilities.

Fewer Mistakes and Less Miscommunication

As you might imagine, if you are practicing active listening, you actually catch lots of details and nuances you might otherwise miss.

If you are simply waiting for someone to finish speaking so you can open your mouth, you are only paying partial attention. And this is a sure fire way to miss some important points.

When you actively listen to someone, you will catch many details and subtleties you might otherwise miss.

Improved Productivity

Imagine you are assigned a project. Now imagine the person who assigned you the project clearly articulates the entire project from start to finish. Then imagine that person actively listening to your responses and clarifying any questions you might have.

As you walk out of that meeting, you have a crystal clear picture of what you need to deliver and how you are going to do it. Isn't that a nice feeling?

Having someone actively listen to you and clearly communicate will make a world of difference in how productive you are in accomplishing that project. You have a clear road map to get to your destination in a successful manner.

Fewer Arguments

Remember one of the greatest satisfactions we all have is feeling understood. This is very relevant here.

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One of the biggest reasons why arguments tend to escalate is due to a lack of understanding. When we feel someone is truly listening to us, we feel much more understood. And when we feel understood, we trust the other person more and tend to argue less. It becomes much easier to get to a good solution for everyone.

Now, let's look at how to practice active listening.

How to Practice Active Listening (A Step-By-Step Guide)

Here are the steps to being an active listener. This list may seem a little extensive and truthfully, it is kind of long.

Don't think of it as a checklist that you have to mark off each point as you accomplish it. Rather, view it as a general guideline.

If you can accomplish most of these in important conversations, you are on your way to becoming an active listener!

1. Maintain Eye Contact

You don't have to be laser focused on someone's eyes with your own. You do, however, have to maintain regular eye contact with them. This is really more for you than for them.

When you maintain regular eye contact, you are forced to pay attention to that person. It's less easier to get distracted.

It also conveys to the other person that you care enough about what's being said that you are looking at them while they speak.

2. Don't Fidget Too Much

Look, re-arranging and getting comfortable from time to time is fine. What's not fine is constantly playing with a pen or picking up your phone or looking all over the place.

Being fidgety gives the impression that you aren't interested in what the other person is saying.

3. No Interrupting

Now this isn't a hard and fast rule. If you need to get clarification on a certain point, it's okay to ask politely.

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⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

What you don't want to be doing is interrupting someone every other sentence to make your own point. Or to add your own color into the conversation.

What you are supposed to be doing is listening, not talking.

4. Watch the Non Verbal Clues

Much of communication happens in a non-verbal manner. That means you can pick up a lot of what a person is communicating to you through their body language and not the actual words coming out of their mouths.

Watch the non verbal clues that the other person is giving off while speaking. If they are uncomfortable, they might fidget. If they are nervous, they may not look you in the eye. These types of non verbal clues can help you hone in on how the other person is feeling.

5. Restate and Clarify

Sometimes when someone is speaking to us, it's not as clear as we'd like. When needed, restate what the other person has said and don't be afraid to clarify.

You can say things like "To make sure I understand what I am hearing you say is ..... is that correct?".

Also, saying something like "So what I am hearing is ..... and". This gives the other person an opportunity to ensure they are telling you everything they need to. It also shows that you care enough to ask a question to make sure you understand.

6. Use Some Encouragers

When someone has a hard time getting through everything, it's okay to provide some light encouragement here and there to get them to continue speaking or sharing more details.

You don't want to rush into it but when someone seems to be in the middle of telling a story and comes to a halt, you can say something short like "and then" or "what happened next" or "did Bob have a response to that".

Nothing that is going to take over the conversation but small pieces of encouragement here and there as needed.

7. Probing

It's perfectly fine to probe for more information when needed. Remember that your goal isn't to take over the conversation, it's to actively listen to the other person.

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⌄ Scroll down to continue reading article ⌄

Now when you feel there could be more relevant information that hasn't come out yet, it's fine to ask a few probing questions.

Asking things such as "how did that make you feel" or "what do you think is the best way to handle that situation" are good ways to get the other person to share more about how they feel. This helps you understand the situation better.

8. Minimal Talking

I've hinted at it numerous times during the step by step process to active listening but, it's worth its own bullet point.

Remember, to be an active listener, you should listen. You are seeking to really listen and understand the other person. Your role here is not to talk much.

I can certainly have a hard time keeping my mouth shut when I have something to add. I have to take an inward deep breath, pause, and keep my mouth shut. I then ensure I am focused on what the other person is telling me.

Being an active listener means listening with minimal talking.

9. Validate

Going back to how we all seek to be understood, it's a good idea to validate the other person. Saying things such as "I understand how that would upset you" and "I probably would have reacted the same way" makes the other person feel like you are on their side.

Like you empathize with them and understand them. This again will help form trust in the conversation and in the relationship. Validating someone is huge.

The Bottom Line

There you have it. A step by step guide on how to practice active listening.

Strong communication skills will help you in every relationship in your life. This includes work and personal relationships. If you can develop active listening skills, you will give your communication skills a huge boost.

Listening is half of all communication. Do yourself a favor and work on your active listening skills. It can have a dramatic impact on the success you have at work and in your close personal relationships.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

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Have you ever been in a situation where a colleague with the least amount of skill to complete specific tasks always volunteers to take the lead on those tasks?
You know, the person who brags that she can get the job done quickly despite history indicating otherwise.
Every time it happens, you sit in silence, wondering how long it's going to take someone to realize that the task would be completed faster if someone more skilled was selected to take the lead! We've all been there, and we know it's painful, which is why today we're continuing our discussion on self-awareness. More specifically, today's topic is about strengths and weaknesses, and why knowing your strengths and weaknesses is important. This is the third post in a series of four about self-awareness. If you haven't already read the other posts, you can read them here:
Who You Need To Know To Be A Strong Leader
Why You Need To Know Your Values & Beliefs
What are strengths and weaknesses?

Strengths are the skills and abilities that are easy for you. So when you're leveraging those skills and abilities you do quite well. Knowing your strengths means you know what activities to engage in that will allow you to shine

Weaknesses are those skills and abilities that don't come easy to you. When you are using those skills and abilities, you might struggle. Knowing your weaknesses allows you to understand how you can work around them.

Strengths and weaknesses are part of being self-aware. When you know your strengths and weaknesses, you can create a development strategy that focuses on your specific development needs.

Focusing on strengths and weaknesses

People often ask me if they should work on their weaknesses, or focus on their strengths?

For me, it depends on the situation. Let me explain.

Focus on your strengths

For example, say you're a supervisor whose strength is being a cheerleader, but analyzing reports not. If you're on a team of supervisors, then someone else can be the subject matter expert on analyzing reports while you focus on motivation.

So, in this situation, you have the opportunity to focus on your strengths and avoid your weaknesses. Now that's not going to last forever, but that's one of those situations where focusing on your strengths make sense.

Develop your weaknesses

As an executive, one of your responsibilities is understanding and managing a profit and loss statement. If you don't know how to manage a profit and loss statement, then you might have some challenges. You need to understand a profit and loss statement to make effective decisions.

This is a situation where I'd encourage you to develop your weakness. It doesn't mean you have to become an expert. But it means you should develop your weakness to strengthen your ability to make effective financial decisions.

Your strengths are your value to the world

It's important to realize that your strengths are the value you bring to the world. Always lead with your strengths. This doesn't mean avoiding your weaknesses. It means to focus on those activities that allow you to demonstrate your value.

Ask yourself if your position allows you to lead with your strengths. If your position forces you to consistently use your weaknesses, you're going to struggle, but there is a chance you will see improvement. But, who wants to always focus on developing that which you may never become a strength. Your strengths are those things that come easy to you so sure you're in a role that allows you to leverage those strengths.

Leveraging your strengths outside work

If connecting with people is your strength, what are you doing outside of work to do use your skill? Look to use your strengths in your hobbies, and your interactions with others. Also, look for activities to engage in outside of work that allow you to leverage your strengths.

Managing your weaknesses

I don't necessarily advise that focus on developing your weaknesses or try to get rid of them for that matter. If you can work from a place of strength, then do so. If not addressing your weaknesses is detrimental to your success, I encourage you to focus on your gaps. But, only to the degree that it's necessary to perform at an acceptable level.

Summary

Strengths reflect those things that come easy to you.

Weaknesses are those things that don't come easy to you.

How you manage your strengths and weaknesses determines your ability to thrive in the world.

Knowing your strengths allows you to engage in activities that allow you to shine

Knowing your weaknesses enables you to make decisions on how to compensate for them.

Whether you focus on developing your strengths, or your weaknesses, is up to you.

To develop strong self-awareness, you need to know your strengths and weaknesses.
Lead from your strengths and you will be a rockstar!
Strengths reflect those things that come easy to you.
Weaknesses are those things that don't come easy to you.
How you manage your strengths and weaknesses determines your ability to thrive in the world.
Knowing your strengths allows you to engage in activities that will enable you to shine
Knowing your weaknesses will allow you to make decisions on how to compensate for them.
Whether you focus on developing your strengths, or your weaknesses, is up to you.

Self-Awareness, strengths, and weaknesses

Today, you learned about strengths and weaknesses and how they fit in with self-awareness.

I'm not sure if you know how to identify your strengths and weaknesses or how to develop them. If not, I have a solution for you. You have access to a FREE guide called How to Develop Self-awareness. This guide will help you identify your strengths, weaknesses, and discover your values and beliefs. It is designed to help you get to know yourself better. Complete the form below and it'll be sent to your inbox!

I'd love to hear from you

I'd also love your feedback on today's topic. Please leave comments in the comment section letting me know if today's topic was helpful. If you'd like more information on focusing on your strengths and developing your weaknesses let me know.

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