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A video to watch and discuss with your child.

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AboutKidsHealth - The Hospital for Sick Children

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You are not your thoughts | AboutKidsHealth at The Hospital for Sick Children

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What does it look like and how can we help them?

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Children's Anxiety: 3 Ways to Help Your Anxious Child

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AKFSAF Foundation

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Child Welfare Information Gateway promotes the safety, permanency, and well-being of children, youth, and families by connecting child welfare, adoption, and related professionals as well as the public to information, resources, and tools covering topics on child welfare, child abuse and neglect, out-of-home care, adoption, and more.

A service of the Children's Bureau, Administration for Children and Families, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, we provide access to print and electronic publications, websites, databases, and online learning tools for improving child welfare practice, including resources that can be shared with families.

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Home - Child Welfare Information Gateway

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Resilience Explained and Additional Resources

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Resilience Explained and Additional Resources

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Science tells us that some children develop resilience, or the ability to overcome serious hardship, while others do not. Understanding why is crucial.

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Click the image above to start. The game will open in a new window.
Please note: this feature was designed to be viewed on desktop and laptop computers and is optimized for a display resolution of 1200×800.
In this interactive feature, you will learn how the choices we make can help children and the community as a whole become more resilient in the face of serious challenges. Negative events can occur at any moment, and it's your job to choose positive events to counteract these negatives. View Key Concepts: Resilience to learn more about the science of resilience.

Choose carefully-you only have 20 'Resilience Bucks' to spend. Certain positives will better counteract certain negatives and have a greater positive effect on children in the community. Your goal is to tip as many children's scales as possible toward positive outcomes.

Clicking on a child's scale will give you a more detailed look at their history, scale balance, and the placement of their fulcrum. The positive experiences you choose will alter both the scale and the fulcrum's position-shaping the outcomes of children and the community.

We will all face adversity in life. But will your community thrive? Or dive? It depends on the choices we make!
Start playing Tipping the Scales: The Resilience Game
Bonus feature: At the end of the game, you'll have an opportunity to interact with the scale more directly-see what happens when you add or subtract positive and negative weights, or move the fulcrum. Just click on the prompt to "Play with the scale!"

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Tipping the Scales - The Resilience Game

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Click the image above to start. The game will open in a new window. Please note: this feature was designed to be viewed on desktop and laptop computers and is optimized for a display resolution of 1200×800.

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Being a parent isn't always easy... how we parent our children impacts their health, ability in school, and future success in life. Most parents regardless of race, culture, or financial situations are affected by daily demands, time limitations, and stress in general. We can easily become overwhelmed.

Positive Parenting... Plus! uses proven curriculum and methods to offer information, emotional support, skill building, and personal insights, helping moms, dads, or other family caregivers be the best parents possible!

In our community-based partner sites, parents are encouraged to bring their children (up to age 13) who can share in the "family meal" and participate in their own group focused on similar topics. This is where the "plus" comes in!

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Parenting & Family Groups - The Family Center

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Being a parent isn't always easy... how we parent our children impacts their health, ability in school, and future success in life. Most parents regardless of race, culture, or financial situations are affected by daily demands, time limitations, and stress in general. We can easily become overwhelmed. Positive Parenting... Plus!

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Positive Parenting- Online Parenting Classes

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Positive Parenting- Online Parenting Classes

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Easy ~ No Hidden Fees ~ Instant Certificate ~ Acceptance Guarantee

Is This the Class I am Required to Take?

The Parent Educational Seminar has a number of different names but they all reference the same class requirement. If you have been instructed to take any of the following classes then our Parent Educational Seminar will satisfy that requirement:

Co-Parenting Seminar

Parent Educational Session

Is Distance Learning (an Online Class) Permitted in my County?

In some cases the divorce court of a particular county may disallow distance learning, meaning that the Parent Educational Seminar cannot be taken with an online provider. Below is a listing of all Tennessee counties. Those represented in red are specifically known to reject certificates from online providers:

Anderson County

Bedford County

Benton County

Bledsoe County

Blount County

Bradley County

Campbell County

Cannon County

Carroll County

Carter County

Cheatham County

Chester County

Claiborne County

Clay County

Cocke County

Coffee County

Crockett County

Cumberland County

Davidson County

Decatur County

DeKalb County

Dickson County

Dyer County

Fayette County

Fentress County

Franklin County

Gibson County

Giles County

Grainger County

Greene County

Grundy County

Hamblen County

Hamilton County

Hancock County

Hardeman County

Hardin County

Hawkins County

Haywood County

Henderson County

Henry County

Hickman County

Houston County

Humphreys County

Jackson County

Jefferson County

Johnson County

Knox County

Lake County

Lauderdale County

Lawrence County

Lewis County

Lincoln County

Loudon County

McMinn County

McNairy County

Macon County

Madison County

Marion County

Marshall County

Maury County

Meigs County

Monroe County

Montgomery County

Moore County

Morgan County

Obion County

Overton County

Perry County

Pickett County

Polk County

Putnam County

Rhea County

Roane County

Robertson County

Rutherford County

Scott County

Sequatchie County

Sevier County

Shelby County

Smith County

Stewart County

Sullivan County

Sumner County

Tipton County

Trousdale County

Unicoi County

Union County

Van Buren County

Warren County

Washington County

Wayne County

Weakley County

White County

Williamson County

Wilson County

Guaranteed 100% Court Acceptance. Nationally Licensed and Certified

Instant downloadable/printable digital certificate available free upon completion

Online Parenting Class available 24/7

No Hidden Fees/ 100% inclusive of all costs

REGISTER NOW

Choose the length of your course below:

Positive Parenting Institute offers our most comprehensive, nationally accepted and completely online parenting class and parenting courses in Rutherford, Tennessee. If you are required to take a parenting or co-parenting course or parenting class Positive Parenting Institute's Online Parenting Class is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for Rutherford, Tennessee on the Internet. If you are a single parent, a married couple, or a blended family or if you are going through a divorce our online course will save you time and money. Participants who complete our course will immediately receive our nationally recognized "Certificate of Completion".

We have participants taking our programs throughout many counties and cities in the state of Rutherford, Tennessee.

Court Ordered Positive Parenting Certificate!
All of our Online Parenting Classes include instant access to your court approved certificate upon completion!

In today's fast paced world it is often difficult to attend a high quality parenting class due to busy schedules and other personal demands. Positive Parenting Institute's online class allows you to engage in and learn the very same parenting skills as you would receive in one of Positive Parenting Institute's face to face classes except it is available in the comfort of your home. Positive Parenting Institute's course is often preferred for court, legal, divorce, separation, mediation and personal growth opportunities.
Parenting Classes Online and Co-Parenting Courses in Rutherford, Tennessee
Our parenting courses are perfect for all court requirements, all legal requirements and are extremely helpful to improve interpersonal skills while improving parenting skills. Positive Parenting Institute's effective parenting skills courses will improve your interpersonal relationships with your children while reinforcing appropriate interpersonal behavior.

Positive Parenting Institute's online parent class uses a appropriate educational and interpersonal approaches for better parenting which were developed by Best Selling Author James A. Baker founder of www.BakerCommunications.com. Our parenting programs. workshops and courses are of the highest quality and will guarantee you of a quality learning experience.

How Positive Parenting Institute's Rutherford, Tennessee Online Parenting Class Really Works

First, you must register for the parenting course. (Register Here) Once you have registered, you will receive immediate access to our exclusive Member's Only Area. Positive Parenting Institute's online parenting class is completely self-paced and is available 24/7 from any web browser in Rutherford, Tennessee.

The average course time is four hours. You can logout at any time and then return to complete the course at your leisure. Positive Parenting Institute's Nationally Recognized "Certificate of Completion" is issued and is automatically available once you have completed the online parenting class. You will receive your certificate via the web which you can print from your own computer. We have NEVER had a self printed certificate refused by any court officer. EVER! We are a legitimate nationally recognized professional training organization.

Tennessee: Memphis, Nashville, and Knoxville

Memphis

Named after an Egyptian city, Memphis once was the largest port in the south. The Mississippi River travels through Memphis and offers many activities, such as boating. The first European travelers in the Memphis region were the Spanish, who came in 1540. Some of America's most popular musicians grew up in the city, including the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley.
http://www.memphischamber.com/

Nashville

There's that one little corner of downtown that is so uniquely Nashville and has so much to offer that it likes to think of itself simply as The District. Comprised of Second Avenue, Lower Broadway, and Printer's Alley, the District specializes in entertainment and showcases some of the best of Nashville's history. http://www.nashvillechamber.com/

Knoxville

Nestled in the foothills of the Great Smoky Mountains and seated against the banks of the Tennessee River, Knoxville, TN is the perfect start to any East Tennessee adventure. With convenient access to all attractions, entertainment and outdoor recreation, it just makes sense to stay in Knoxville when you visit East Tennessee. And Knoxville, TN is an attraction onto itself, offering fun and recreation for the whole family including spectacular scenery, diverse museums, historical attractions, outdoor activities, shopping and much more.
http://www.knoxvillechamber.com/

Parenting Classes in Tennessee

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Online Parenting Class for Rutherford, Tennessee

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The Parent Educational Seminar has a number of different names but they all reference the same class requirement. If you have been instructed to take any of the following classes then our Parent Educational Seminar will satisfy that requirement: Co-Parenting Seminar Parent Educational Session In some cases the divorce court of a particular county may disallow distance learning, meaning that the Parent Educational Seminar cannot be taken with an online provider.

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Family Resources Rutherford County TN

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To create a future for children and families filled with promise and prosperity.

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The national communications system for runaway and homeless youth. Call, text, or email for youth crisis intervention. Operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. https://www.1800runaway.org/

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The national communications system for runaway and homeless youth. Call, text, or email for youth crisis intervention. Operates 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. https://www.1800runaway.org/

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Community-based Child Abuse Prevention TN

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Community-based Child Abuse Prevention TN

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Tennessee’s program uses CBCAP funds to administer two prevention programs  available to community-based agencies across Tennessee.

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What is Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention?

Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention -- commonly called "CBCAP" -- refers to specific types of child abuse prevention programs that exist in every U.S. state.

These programs:

support community-based efforts to develop, enhance and coordinate initiatives and activities to prevent child abuse and neglect.

support the coordination of resources and activities to better strengthen and support families to reduce the likelihood of child abuse and neglect.

foster understanding, appreciation and knowledge of diverse populations in order to effectively prevent and treat child abuse and neglect.

Funding for CBCAP is distributed by the Administration of Children, Youth and Families for primary and secondary prevention activities.

How Are CBCAP Programs Used in Tennessee?

Tennessee's program uses CBCAP funds to administer two prevention programs available to community-based agencies across Tennessee:

Nurturing Parenting Program: This program is a family-centered initiative designed to build nurturing parenting skills as an alternative to abusive and neglectful parenting and child-rearing practices. This program includes a wide variety of modules designed for specific at-risk populations including teen parents, military families, parents/caregivers of disabled children, first time parents, and parents/caregivers recovering from substance abuse, to name a few. Services include in-home and grouped-based classes.

Darkness to Light's Stewards of Children: This is an evidence-based sexual abuse prevention training program designed to educate adults to recognize, prevent, and react responsibly to child sexual abuse and motivates caregivers to courageous action. This 3 hour, discussion-based training is administered by trained facilitators.

Who is Eligible to Receive CBCAP-funded Services?

Any person free of conducting abuse or has a suspicion of abuse is eligible for services.

The goal of primary and secondary prevention services is to inform and educate before abuse or neglect has occurred. Families or individuals with a history of perpetrating abuse, or neglect or who are under active investigation by DCS, are not eligible to receive CBCAP services.

However, families or individuals who have simply come into contact with DCS may be eligible. As long as allegations of abuse or neglect are unfounded and services are not required, a family or individual can be referred for CBCAP services. CBCAP services are voluntary.

How Can I Access CBCAP Services?

Download the directory listing all Tennessee community-based agencies contracted to deliver prevention programs through Nurturing Parenting or Stewards of Children.

Organized by county, the reader can identify which agency offers programs in a specific county. Agency pages detail each agency's contact information and the prevention activity administered.

Additionally, each program can be found online using the "Find TN State Services" service search on Tennessee's Kid Central.

Please read the Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention Policy and Procedure Manual.

Contact Us

Marie Keopf
CBCAP Program Coordinator
315 Deaderick Street
Nashville, TN 37243
(615) 306-4552

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Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention -- commonly called "CBCAP" -- refers to specific types of child abuse prevention programs that exist in every U.S. state. These programs: support community-based efforts to develop, enhance and coordinate initiatives and activities to prevent child abuse and neglect.

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In Case of Emergency and Life-Threatening Situation Call 9-1-1

Call the Child Abuse Hotline to report child abuse or neglect in the State of Tennessee.

877-237-0004

Reports also can be made online on our secure site.

Direct link: https://apps.tn.gov/carat/

Our trained case managers will guide Hotline callers through a series of questions. Callers do not have to know all the details of the abuse or neglect. The Hotline case managers use the information you provide to determine the severity of the situation and how best to intervne.

Download an information poster with the hotline number you can display in your school, business, or church.

Spanish version: Information Poster

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Call the Child Abuse Hotline to report child abuse or neglect in the State of Tennessee. Reports also can be made online on our secure site. Direct link: https://apps.tn.gov/carat/ Our trained case managers will guide Hotline callers through a series of questions. Callers do not have to know all the details of the abuse or neglect.

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National Conference of State Legislatures

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National Conference of State Legislatures

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Introduction

Child maltreatment is a pervasive public health issue affecting thousands of children across the United States.

In 2012, more than 1,600 children from newborns to age 17 died from abuse and neglect. The majority of these victims, 68 percent, were 4 years of age or younger. Child fatalities caused by abuse and neglect do not reveal the full extent of the problem. State and local child protective services agencies estimate that 686,000 were victims of maltreatment in 2012.

The consequences of child maltreatment are long term. Children who are victims of maltreatment are more likely to experience poor health status into adulthood including, substance abuse, depression, cardiovascular disease, diabetes, cancer and premature death.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau.(2012). Child maltreatment 2012. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/resource/child-maltreatment-2012.

Defining Child Maltreatment

Child maltreatment includes all types of abuse and neglect of children under age 18 by a parent, caregiver or another person in a custodial role (e.g., clergy, coach, or teacher). Four major types of child maltreatment are physical abuse, neglect, emotional abuse and sexual abuse. These types of child maltreatment are not mutually exclusive and often occur in combination.

Physical abuse is the intentional use of physical force against a child, such as hitting, kicking, chocking, stabbing, shaking, burning, or other actions that result in, or have the potential to result in physical injury.

Neglect is the failure to meet a child's basic needs, including housing, food, clothing, education and access to medical care. The definition of child neglect varies among states, agencies, professional groups and disciplines, and is considered the most frequently unreported type of child maltreatment. Generally child neglect can be defined as "the failure to provide for a child's basic physical, emotional or educational needs or to protect a child from harm or potential harm."

Physical neglect is the failure to provide food, shelter or appropriate supervision.

Medical neglect has been defined by many states as failing to provide needed medical or mental health care to a child.

Educational neglect involves the failure of a parent or caregiver to educate a child or provide special educational needs.

Emotional neglect is the inattention to a child's emotional needs or failure to provide psychological care.

Emotional abuse refers to actions and behaviors that harm a child's sense of self-worth or emotional well-being.

Sexual abuse involves engaging a child in sexual acts including fondling, rape and exposing a child to other sexual activities. This type of abuse is the most under-reported type of child maltreatment. Actual rates of sexual abuse against children are likely higher than officially reported rates.

Neglect is the most common type of maltreatment perpetrated against children, accounting for 78 percent of all reports of child maltreatment. In some states, child neglect accounts for more than 90 percent of all child maltreatment cases.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau.(2012). Child maltreatment 2012. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/resource/child-maltreatment-2012.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau.(2012). Child maltreatment 2012. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/resource/child-maltreatment-2012.

Child maltreatment is a complex social issue and research on prevention explores a wide range of social and economic interventions. Unhealthy relationships between caregiver and child and high levels of parental or caregiver stress, among many other things, may contribute to higher rates of child maltreatment. States have adopted strategies that aim to prevent child neglect and abuse before it occurs, such as connecting new parents to community support opportunities, achieving greater access to high quality child care, and coordinating funding. This policy primer reviews state legislative policy options to prevent child maltreatment.

Connecting New Families to Community Support Opportunities

The first few years of life are vital for a child's brain development. Stress and lack of medical care during these important years can have negative long-term consequences on a child's physical and mental health that extend into adulthood. High rates of abuse, neglect and medical neglect in the early years of a child's life indicate that more can be done to develop systems and strategies to support new and expecting families. During these first years, children are more likely to be isolated from social and community networks, and are more vulnerable to parental or caregiver abuse and neglect. Policymakers have adopted many different strategies to connect new families with health care services and other social support programs.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Children's Bureau.(2012). Child maltreatment 2012. Available from http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/resource/child-maltreatment-2012.

Early Childhood Home Visiting

Early childhood home visiting programs help new parents gain knowledge of basic parenting skills by matching new families with trained providers, such as nurses, social workers or parent educators. These prevention-focused programs are voluntary, and are offered to new families as a connection to social and medical supports throughout pregnancy or the first few years of life. Certain home visiting models have proved to be effective in reducing child maltreatment. Communities that have implemented the Nurse Family Partnership, for example, have seen on average a 48 percent reduction in child abuse and neglect, and a 56 percent reduction in emergency room visits for accidents and poisoning. Healthy Families America is another example of a Home Visiting Program that emphasizes reducing child maltreatment.

Evidence-Based Home Visiting

The Nurse Family Partnership is the most extensively evaluated early home visiting program and has consistently been found to be an effective intervention for preventing child maltreatment. In this program, first-time moms who choose to participate are connected with a nurse from the time of pregnancy until the child turns 2 years old. Nurses conduct ongoing home visits to help support a healthy pregnancy, teach new moms techniques to foster health and positive interactions with her baby, and assist new families in continuing their education or finding work.

State legislatures have been supporting home visiting programs for more than a decade. Recently, in 2013, Hawaii enacted a law to establish a statewide hospital-based home visiting program to provide universal screening of newborns' families to identify risk factors for poor health, child abuse and child neglect. High-risk families are referred to the statewide home visiting program, and can choose to participate in the program. Other states, such as Arkansas and Texas, require home visiting programs to be evidence-based, and to track outcome measurements to monitor program effectiveness. In these two states, the legislature plays a direct role in monitoring and modifying home visiting program standards. For a full list of Home Visiting legislation passed between 2008 and 2014 please visit NCSL's Home Visiting Webpage.

State Legislative Options for Early Childhood Home Visiting

Explore opportunities to use and leverage current state, federal and local funding to support early childhood home visiting programs. In Washington state, for example, the Legislature established the Home Visitation Services Account in 2010 to align and leverage public funding with matching private funding to increase the number of families served.

Examine how agencies and programs coordinate home visiting services throughout the state, and consider ways to minimize home visiting program duplication or fragmentation. Connecticut's Early Childhood Education Cabinet appointed a home visitation committee with the goal of linking home visiting with other state priorities and to study best practices.

Ensure the state is investing in research-based home visiting models that demonstrate effectiveness and have accountability measures in place.

Health Literacy for New Families

Health literacy can be thought of as a person's ability to obtain, process and understand basic information and services in order to make appropriate health decisions. It is estimated that almost 36 percent of American adults are " health illiterate." Low health literacy among new parents creates barriers to obtaining important health and safety information during a child's life. A 2009 study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics found that more than 28 percent of parents had only basic health literacy or less than basic health literacy. Incorporating simple, easy-to-understand child maltreatment prevention information into prenatal and pediatric care visits may decrease health literacy demands on parents, and help new families understand easy ways to prevent child abuse and neglect.

Supporting Greater Access to Positive Parenting Support

Triple P, or the Positive Parenting Program, is an evidence-based intervention that offers parents simple strategies to manage their children's behaviors. By incorporating simple messages to encourage parents to create nurturing environments for children and support nonviolent parenting skills, Triple P aims to build healthy, positive relationships between parent and child. This program uses a combination of tools, such as parent local media outlets, consultation with trainers and public seminars, to spread information about positive parenting skills. Learn more about Triple P.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, at least 20 states have implemented activities to address health literacy. Many of these activities involve collaborations between state and local governments, academic institutions and non-profit organizations. In addition to these state activities, some legislatures have addressed the issue of health literacy in state law. Maryland law requires the Office of Minority Health and Health Disparities to work collaboratively with universities, public health and social work programs, and allied health to create courses that focus on cultural competency, sensitivity and health literacy. In 2006, the Washington Legislature created the governor's interagency coordinating council on health disparities, which is required to create a statewide policy to address social determinants of health, including increasing health literacy.

State Legislative Options for Enhancing Health Literacy

Consider integrating child maltreatment prevention education into existing health care visit screening standards, such as prenatal care visits for new parents, or preventive care well-child screenings for children. For example, Oklahoma's Medicaid Care Management Department pairs nurses known as "Health Coaches" with certain new moms or young children with the goal of improving health literacy and health status.

Support community education and outreach programs that inform parents about child maltreatment prevention information and resources.

Encourage hospitals and clinics to incorporate optional specialized services that offer parenting and child behavior classes or information.

Support cultural competence continuing education credits for health care providers. In 2012, Maryland House Bill 679 required the Office of Minority Health and Health Disparities to work collaboratively with universities, public health and social work programs, and allied health to create courses focusing on cultural competency and sensitivity

Community Health Workers

Community health workers (CHWs) are members of a community who work with a local health care system to assist people in receiving necessary health care and other social services. Their role in a community is dynamic: They help connect people with services, and they also inform health care providers and administrators about the health and social needs of the people in their community. CHWs help members of the community provide social support, offer culturally appropriate health education and information, and help advocate for individuals within the health or social services system.

Community health workers are also referred to as: community health advisers, promotores/promotoras de salud, or lay health workers. They work for pay or as volunteers and tailor their work to meet local community needs. CHW rely on a variety of funding sources including community health centers, grants from private funders, and, in some states, Medicaid.

In terms of preventing child maltreatment, CHWs may play important roles to help new parents adopt healthy behaviors and access positive parenting resources within a community. The Massachusetts' CHW Advisory Council found that CHWs prioritize four main goals including: client advocacy, health education, outreach and health system navigation.

By using existing programs, states may be able to encourage CHWs to expand their goals to include educating new families about child maltreatment prevention strategies, and help parents navigate complicated health and social systems.

Tapping Community Resources to Reduce Child Maltreatment

The Durham Family Initiative began in 2002, when a group of government agency directors in Durham, N.C., signed a memorandum of agreement to implement a community system of care to encourage healthy parent-child relationships. Under this agreement, community services were integrated for the purpose of promoting child well-being and preventing child maltreatment. Community service providers work with families to develop a plan that incorporates formal and informal services, such as parent training or faith-based support groups, to improve family well-being. The purpose of this plan and the community liaison is to ensure that a family has access to the services, resources and support that will help facilitate positive child-parent relationships and a nurturing family environment. The Durham Family Initiative has resulted in a 57 percent reduction of child maltreatment in Durham County. Learn more about the program.

Many states have passed legislation to increase the use of community health workers within the primary care system, and a few states encourage the use of CHW for activities that may help prevent child maltreatment. In 2011, for example, Oregon passed House Bill 3650, which directed the Oregon Health Authority to develop training requirements and curriculum standards for nontraditional health workers, such as community health workers. This curriculum requires training in: health promotion and best practices, the social determinants of health, health literacy issues, and warning signs for substance abuse and mental health problems. The social connections and medical guidance offered by CHW may help reduce stress from parenting and offer new families connections to health and social service options in a community.

State Legislative Options to Optimize the Use of Community Health Workers

Establish and fund CHW programs to support safe, stable and nurturing family environments. Several states have adopted legislation that defines or recognizes community health workers, establishes standards or credentials or assesses training and certification needs.

Support incorporating child maltreatment prevention education into existing state community health worker training curriculum. Arizona's Health Start, for example, uses community health workers to provide education to pregnant women and new families to improve health outcomes, increase child safety or to make referrals to other services.

Achieving Greater Access to High Quality Child Care

For many years, state and federal governments have been involved with licensing and regulating child care centers, and creating subsidies for low-income families who need child care. Data from the U.S. Census Bureau's American Community Survey emphasizes the importance of child care options for families of young children. Between 2005 and 2009, 62.3 percent of children under the age of 6 were living with a single working parent or two working parents, indicating that the majority of young American children have working parents and need access to nonfamilial care.

Access to high quality and affordable child care can influence caregivers' ability to support a family, while limiting a child's exposure to neglect and abuse. Increasing access to high quality child care for all children may reduce the incidence of child neglect, and improve learning and developmental outcomes of children.

Early Head Start

Early Head Start is a federally funded program that offers low income pregnant women and families with children under the age of 3, access to early learning and education in a day care setting and other family support services. Many programs offer home-based services, which include weekly home-visits from trained program staff to promote parent or caregivers' ability to support the child's development. Home-based programs also offer twice-monthly group sessions to bring parents and children from many families together to discuss their experiences.

Along with providing high quality child care, research conducted by Columbia University and Mathematic Policy Research found that, compared to control groups, Early Head Start parents were:

More emotionally supportive and less detached from their children.

Less likely to report having recently spanked their children.

Reported to have a greater repertoire of discipline techniques, including more mild and fewer punitive strategies.

These findings indicate that the Early Head Start Program could reduce child neglect and abuse by providing high quality child care for working, low-income parents, and encourage positive parenting techniques among parents.

All 50 states have at least one Early Head Start Program and are funded primarily by the federal government. Not all children who qualify to participate in Early Head Start do so. According to the Children's Defense Fund, fewer than half of those who are eligible are enrolled in Early Head Start. As of 2012, 10 states use state money to support Early Head Start Programs. Oregon, for example, provides all federally supported EHS programs with state funding to expand the number of children served.

A new federal initiative, "Early Head Start-Child Care Partnerships," provides $500 million in new federal grants to new or existing Early Head Start Programs. These grants will support programs to partner with local child care centers and family care providers serving infants and toddlers from low income families.

Source: U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Administration for Children and Families, Administration on Children, Youth and Families, Office of Head Start, 2012 Program Information Report 2012. Available from http://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/hslc/hs.

State Options to Strengthen Early Head Start

Explore the Early Head Start programs in your state or district. Ask the Early Head Start program director the questions you may have, such as:

How many children are enrolled in the Early Head Start programs in your district?

How long are the waiting lists for Early Head Start programs in your district?

Does your state provide supplemental funding for these federally funded programs?

What challenges does the program face?

What are the primary successes of the program?

To encourage enrollment for those who qualify, consider use existing benefit enrollment systems, such as Medicaid or TANF, to facilitate access to Early Head Start.

Child-Parent Centers

To improve child-parent interactions, foster positive parenting skills, and encourage positive child management strategies, Child-Parent Centers (CPC) are comprehensive educational and family support programs for economically disadvantaged children between age 3 and third grade. These evidence-based programs offer school- or center-based learning activities that focus on a child's social and cognitive development, and require consistent parental participation in their child's education.

Responding to the lack of federal Head Start programs in high poverty neighborhoods, the Chicago Public School Systems developed the Chicago Child-Parent Center program to expand access to quality preschool education to all neighborhoods. To be eligible for participation, families must reside in neighborhoods that receive federal Title I education funds and parents must commit to volunteering at the center every week. Every CPC program includes classroom education with trained teachers, outreach services such as home visits when families enroll and transportation to the center, and parental volunteering at the center for at least one half day per week. The Chicago CPC uses federal Title I to fund activities.

The Chicago CPC has been shown to decrease children's exposure to abuse and neglect. Five percent of children who participated in the CPC group experienced child maltreatment, compared to 10.3 percent in the non-CPC control group. Long-term evaluation of this program has also shown other benefits, such as higher reading and math test scores among children who participated in the program.

State Legislative Options for Child-Parent Centers

Many communities have programs or schools that provide preschool education. Consider strengthening these programs by:

Encouraging existing preschools in your district or community to adopt a Child-Parent Center model of education.

Support preschools that promote evidence-based activities to reduce child abuse and neglect by incorporating parental participation in young children's education.

Options for Coordinated Funding

State governments employ a variety of funding sources to support child welfare systems. A small portion of these funds directly support prevention activities. State and local agencies determine who will receive prevention services, and what types of prevention services will be provided. Therefore, identifying funding amounts that directly support child maltreatment prevention is difficult to discern. This section analyzes federal and state funding streams that are authorized for child maltreatment prevention to get a better idea of how states are supporting prevention activities and offer potential strategies to support prevention activities.

Federal Funding Options

Since 1974, the federal Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment Act (CAPTA) has provided funding to states, tribes, tribal organizations, public agencies and nonprofit organizations to address child abuse and neglect. Title II of CAPTA provides Community Based Grants for the Prevention of Child Abuse or Neglect. These grants are intended to help community agencies support child abuse and neglect prevention activities and emphasize family support or parental participation. Programs supported by these grants include voluntary home visiting, family resource centers, parental mutual support and other positive parenting activities.

Several states also use a portion of the federal Social Services Block Grant (SSBG) to fund activities that aim to prevent child maltreatment. SSBG funds are considered nondedicated federal funds and can be used by states or territories to meet the needs of its residents. Examples of SSBG funded services include day care, case management and health-related services for children. Funds are allocated to all states and territories.

The Affordable Care Act's Maternal, Infant and Early Childhood Home Visiting grant provided additional federal support for child maltreatment. This federal initiative provided states with $1.5 billion for home visiting between 2010 and 2014 with an option for reauthorization. It also emphasized evidence-based home visiting models, of which 13 models meet federal criteria, with 75 percent of the federal funding directed to such programs.

State Funding Options

State funding support for child maltreatment prevention is supported by a complex and diverse source of funding streams. This section discusses a few ways state legislatures have established direct child maltreatment prevention funding support. For more information about child welfare or child protective services, please visit NCSL's Human Services Overview webpage.

Several states have funding streams dedicated to child abuse prevention. In 2011, the Illinois legislature created the Child Abuse Prevention Fund, which is funded by a voluntary contribution option on the Illinois income tax return. Similar to Illinois, Oregon allows tax payers who receive a tax refund the option of contributing a portion of their refund to child abuse and neglect prevention. The Nebraska Legislature provides a direct appropriation to the Nebraska Child Abuse Prevention Fund. This fund was established in 1986 by the legislature to identify the needs, problems and solutions of child abuse and neglect in the state. Each state's child maltreatment prevention funding picture is different.

State Legislative Options to Coordinate Funding

Explore state and local programs that aim to prevent child abuse and prevention.

Are these programs using several federal, state and local funding sources to sustain child maltreatment prevention activities?

Can your state develop mechanisms to unify or leverage funding sources that aim to prevent child maltreatment?

Consider creating state funding mechanisms to support child maltreatment prevention activities. Oklahoma, for example, has established "Child Abuse Prevention" license plates. The application fee for these license plates is deposited into the state's Child Abuse Prevention Fund to support programs across the state.

Conclusion

State legislatures play important roles in preventing child maltreatment. Identifying unique characteristics of each community's and state's child maltreatment activities is an important step to understanding existing strengths and needs in the child maltreatment prevention system. Legislators can be leaders in efforts to prevent child abuse and neglect.

Additional Resources
NCSL Resources Other Resources
Acknowledgements

This brief was written by Hollie Hendrikson.

The National Conference of State Legislatures thanks Suzanne Friesen, CDC project officers and others at CDC for their time and commitment to make this publication as thorough as possible.

The author also likes to thank the following NCSL staff who reviewed the brief and made recommendations: Nina Williams-Mbengue, Julie Poppe, Robyn Lipkowitz, Melissa Hansen and Martha King

This publication was made possible by contract number 200-2013-M-57330 from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Its contents are solely the responsibility of the author and do not necessarily represent the official views of the CDC.

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national conference of state legislatures

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Preventing Child Maltreatment: Defining the Problem, Discussing Solutions

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Child maltreatment is a pervasive public health issue affecting thousands of children across the United States. In 2012, more than 1,600 children from newborns to age 17 died from abuse and neglect. The majority of these victims, 68 percent, were 4 years of age or younger.

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Child abuse and neglect are serious problems that can have lasting harmful effects on victims. CDC's goal is to stop child abuse and neglect from happening in the first place.

Child abuse and neglect are complex problems rooted in unhealthy relationships and environments. Preventing child abuse and neglect requires addressing risk and protective factors at the individual, relational, community, and societal levels.

CDC developed a resource, Child Abuse and Neglect Prevention Resource for Action [4 MB, 50 Pages] to help states and communities use the best available evidence to prevent and reduce child abuse and neglect. This resource is available in English and Spanish [21 MB, 52 Pages, 508] and can impact individual behaviors and the relationship, family, school, community, and societal factors that influence risk and protective factors for violence. Effective prevention strategies focus on modifying policies, practices, and societal norms to create safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments. The strategies and their corresponding approaches are presented in the table below.

Preventing Child Abuse and Neglect
Intervene to lessen harms and prevent future risk

Enhanced primary care

Behavioral parent training programs

Treatment to lessen harms of abuse and neglect exposure

Treatment to prevent problem behavior and later involvement in violence

See Child Abuse and Neglect Resources for more publications, data sources, and other resources about preventing child abuse and neglect.

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Effective prevention strategies are necessary to promote awareness about child maltreatment and to foster commitment to social change.

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC)

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Would you like to know more about child care licensing in your state or resources for children with special needs? Do you need to contact someone about child support, health care for your family, or help paying for food or heat? If so, you’ve come to the right place.

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Would you like to know more about child care licensing in your state or resources for children with special needs? Do you need to contact someone about child support, health care for your family, or help paying for food or heat? If so, you've come to the right place. Click a tab below to find those resources and more in Tennessee.

Find out more about child care in your area. Click on the links below, or contact your local Child Care Resource and Referral (CCR&R) agency for one-on-one help.

Child Care Licensing

Your local child care regulatory office

Phone: Contact your local office

Website Find Your Local Office

Provider Complaint Line: 1(800) 462-8261

Inspection Reports

Find out what programs in your area are in compliance with licensing regulations

Website

Tennessee Child Care Information

Information and resources for parents looking for child care in Tennessee

Website

Child & Adult Care Food Program (CACFP)

Reimburses child care providers for healthy meals and snacks

Phone: (615) 313-4749

Website

Criminal Background Checks

Understanding criminal background checks requirements in your area

Website

Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS) - Star Quality Program
Child care providers earn a rating when they meet quality standards. These ratings can help families choose quality care and can assist child care providers to improve and communicate their quality.
Website

ECE Shared Resources - ChildCareTennessee
A one-stop location for ECE professionals for policies, forms, regulations, guidance, discounts, and more to save time, reduce costs, and improve quality (Note: typically requires purchase of a subscription or membership)
Website

Discover resources that will provide more information regarding local services such as health care and child well-being.

Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) - CoverKids Federal-State health insurance program for children - available to qualifying families who are not eligible for Medicaid. In some states, parents and pregnant women may also be covered.
Phone: 1(855) 259-0701
Website

Tennessee Department of Human Services State government programs and services for children and families Website

Car Seat Basics Information on car seat regulations and inspection services Website

Are you looking for help paying for child care? Buying groceries or diapers? Find out what assistance programs are offered locally.

Learn about valuable resources for parents of children with special needs.

Early Intervention - Tennessee's Early Intervention System (TEIS) Early intervention services for infants and toddlers at risk for developmental delays
Phone: 1(800) 852-7157
Website

Relative Caregiver Program Resources for children in the care of a relative, member of their tribe or clan, godparent, stepparent, or any adult who has a kinship bond with a child Website

COVID-19

Child Care and COVID-19

Information and resources around child care and COVID-19 in your state (last updated on August 10, 8:24 a.m. EDT
Information for Families and Child Care Providers Guidance for Child Care Providers
Tennessee COVID-19 Website
General information about COVID-19 in your state Website
Tennessee Department of Health
Find additional information on COVID-19 Website
Need additional information?

Click here to find your local Child Care Resource and Referral (CCR&R) agency for one-on-one help.

Child Care

Find out about the ins and outs of child care in your area. What is required to become a provider in your area? What requirements are there for a background check? Does your state offer any quality improvement programs?

Child Care Licensing

Your local child care regulatory office

Phone: Contact your local office

Website Find Your Local Office

Phone: 1(800) 462-8261

Inspection Reports

Find out what programs in your area are in compliance with licensing regulations

Website

Child Care Fact Sheet

Basic facts about child care in your area

Tennessee Child Care Information

Information and resources for parents looking for child care in Tennessee

Website

Child & Adult Care Food Program (CACFP)

Reimburses child care providers for healthy meals and snacks

Phone: (615) 313-4749

Website

Criminal Background Checks

Understanding criminal background checks requirements in your area

Website

Quality Rating and Improvement System (QRIS) - Star Quality Program
Child care providers earn a rating when they meet quality standards. These ratings can help families choose quality care and can assist child care providers to improve and communicate their quality.
Website

ECE Shared Resources - ChildCareTennessee
A one-stop location for ECE professionals for policies, forms, regulations, guidance, discounts, and more to save time, reduce costs, and improve quality (Note: typically requires purchase of a subscription or membership)
Website

Health and Social Services

Discover resources that will provide more information regarding local services such as health care and child well-being.

Children's Health Insurance Program (CHIP) - CoverKids Federal-State health insurance program for children - available to qualifying families who are not eligible for Medicaid. In some states, parents and pregnant women may also be covered.
Phone: 1(855) 259-0701
Website

Tennessee Department of Human Services State government programs and services for children and families Website

Car Seat Basics Information on car seat regulations and inspection services Website

Financial Assistance

Are you looking for help paying for child care? Buying groceries or diapers? Find out what assistance programs are offered locally.

Children with Special Needs

Learn about valuable resources for parents of children with special needs.

Early Intervention - Tennessee's Early Intervention System (TEIS) Early intervention services for infants and toddlers at risk for developmental delays
Phone: 1(800) 852-7157
Website

Relative Caregiver Program Resources for children in the care of a relative, member of their tribe or clan, godparent, stepparent, or any adult who has a kinship bond with a child Website

If you find that any of the information above is incorrect, please contact us at info@childcareaware.org.

CCR&R Search

Looking for child care? Your local CCR&R agency can help you find options near your home or work.

State by State Resources

Find your state's resources for child care, financial assistance, health and social services and more.

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Would you like to know more about child care licensing in your state or resources for children with special needs? Do you need to contact someone about child support, health care for your family, or help paying for food or heat? If so, you've come to the right place.

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A list of programs and organizations in Tennessee

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Find assistance, grants to help pay bills, financial aid programs and support from organizations that cover all Tennessee cities and counties listed below , including Nashville and Memphis. There are government assistance grant funded as well as public benefits, housing and rent assistance programs, free child care, USDA food programs, energy bill help and much more in Tennessee.

In addition to those state run programs, federal government HUD approved housing counseling agencies can also help homeowners. Read more on Tennessee HUD counseling agencies.

are several with operations in Tennessee. They offer emergency financial help, free transportation for health-care, housing, food, and more. Find bill paying help from charities.

The unemployed and residents looking to gain new skills can get help from Career Center. Career Center across Tennessee provide a number of employment services to residents. Read Tennessee free job training.

If you need access to free or reduced priced dental care, regardless of your income and health insurance coverage, several clinics focus on offer dental assistance. Find Tennessee free dental clinics.

Individuals who completely lack health insurance or who are underinsured have resources available to them. The state government of Tennessee offers medical care and several other organizations are also committed to assisting these patients. Read uninsured medical care in Tennessee.

Assistance From Tennessee Cities and Counties

Anderson County (Clinton)

Bedford County (Shelbyville)

Benton County (Camden)

Bledsoe County (Pikeville)

Blount County (Maryville)

Bradley County (Cleveland)

Campbell County (Jacksboro)

Cannon County (Woodbury)

Carrol County (Huntingdon)

Carter County (Elizabethton)

Cheatham County (Ashland City)

Chester County (Henderson)

Claiborne County (Tazewell)

Clay County (Celina)

Cocke County (Newport)

Coffee County (Tullahoma)

Crockett County (Alamo)

Cumberland County (Crossville)

Davidson County (Nashville)

Nashville city agencies and assistance

Davidson and Nashville food pantries. More.

De Kalb County (Smithville)

Decatur County (Decaturville)

Dickson County (Charlotte)

Dyer County (Dyersburg)

Fayette County (Somerville)

Fentress County (Jamestown)

Franklin County (Winchester)

Gibson County (Trenton)

Giles County (Pulaski)

Grainger County (Rutledge)

Greene County (Greeneville)

Grundy County (Altamont)

Hamblen County (Morristown)

Hamilton County (Chattanooga)

Hardeman County (Bolivar)

Hardin County (Savannah)

Henry County (Paris)

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Find assistance, grants to help pay bills, financial aid programs and support from organizations that cover all Tennessee cities and counties listed below , including Nashville and Memphis. There are government assistance grant funded as well as public benefits, housing and rent assistance programs, free child care, USDA food programs, energy bill help and much more in Tennessee.

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Families First, the state’s Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program, is a workforce development and employment program.

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Now Available: Emergency Cash Assistance

The Tennessee Department of Human Services (TDHS) is making essential financial resources available to families that have been significantly impacted by the COVID-19 emergency.

To be eligible, families must have been employed as of March 11, 2020 but have since then lost employment or at least 50% of their earned income due to the COVID-19 emergency, include a child under the age of 18 or a pregnant woman, have a valid Social Security Number, must not have resources exceeding $2000, and the gross and/or unearned monthly income may not exceed 85% of the State's Median Income. For more detail, click here.

To Apply for Emergency Cash Assistance, visit https://tdhs.service-now.com/relief?id=relief_registration.
Check the status of your Emergency Cash Assistance Application by calling (833) 496-0661.
Families First, the state's Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) program, is a workforce development and employment program. The Families First program emphasizes work, training, and personal responsibility. It is temporary and has a primary focus on gaining self-sufficiency through employment. The Families First program helps participants reach this goal by providing temporary cash assistance, transportation, child care assistance, educational supports, job training, employment activities, and other support services. Eligibility information can be found here.

Your feedback is important to us. Please complete our Customer Experience Survey today!

To be eligible for the program, participants must meet technical and financial eligibility standards and must agree to follow a Personal Responsibility Plan (PRP). As part of the PRP, the participants agree to keep immunizations and health checks up-to-date for their children, to keep their children in school, to cooperate with child support services and, if not exempt, to participate in work and/or training for at least 30 hours per week.

Current Families First recipients can find information on their Families First case with CaseConnect.

If you do not already have a TDHS account, you will need to create one to access services (e.g. CaseConnect).

Families First cash assistance benefits are issued and accessed electronically using a Benefit Security Card or EBT Card. To apply for benefits, submit your application online or visit the local DHS county office.

ATTENTION FAMILIES FIRST RECIPIENTS:
Under Federal law, it is illegal for you to use your EBT card at the following locations: liquor stores, casinos, adult cabarets (strip clubs), and licensed retail stores that derive their largest sales from the following items:

loose tobacco

cigars, cigarettes, and pipes

other smoking accessories

The Tennessee Department of Human Services has increased monitoring EBT card usage and enforcement. Effective July 1, 2014, additional penalties will apply if benefits are misused. Restricted businesses are also subject to penalties.

Contact Information:
Common Questions, Email, and Live Chat
Family Assistance Service Center
615-743-2000 (Nashville area)
1-866-311-4287 (Toll-free)

Discounted $50 Zoo Memberships offered to SNAP Participants

Participant must purchase the membership onsite at the Zoo's Membership Building. Please tell the Membership Associate that you wish to use the SNAP discount and present both a valid SNAP/EBT card and ID to them. After SNAP discount the rate will be $50 (regular rate is currently $145). May not be combined with any other offers.
Click here for a flyer with more information
Learn more about:

Job Opportunities - Jobs4TN.gov Tennessee EBT Cash Access Locations Family Assistance program informational training Federal Student Aid Enroll a child in the Imagination Library
Family Focused Solutions

Family Focused Solutions (FFS) is a voluntary support service that is provided by agencies who are contracted with the Tennessee Department of Human Service (DHS). The purpose of FFS is to assist TANF clients with removing barriers to employment and education. Whether it's a referral or a direct service, FFS will provide you with a counselor that will collaborate with you as you take your next step to self-sufficiency.

What can Family Focused Solutions do for You?

Life comes with challenges for everyone. By partnering with FFS, you will be well on your way to achieving your life long goals. You will guide the focus of services with your counselor who will assist and encourage you to build on your strengths throughout your journey.

Learn more, by clicking here. Look here to find a provider near you: Family Focused Solutions Providers

Reports and Information:

Families First was created as part of the larger Personal Responsibility and Work Opportunity Reconciliation Act (PRWORA) of 1996 (commonly referred to as "welfare reform"). It replaced the Aid to Families with Dependent Children (AFDC) program and is the federal funding source for Tennessee's TANF Program.

The Claims Resolution Act of 2010 set forth new reporting requirements for States as it extended the funding for the Temporary Assistance for Needy Families (TANF) financial assistance program through September 30, 2011. Sec. 812 Modifications to TANF Data Reporting specifies that new reporting requirements for engagement in additional work activities be published on each state's website.
Report on Engagement - April to June 2011 Tennessee Workforce Innovation and Opportunity Act (WIOA) Combined State Plan (TANF section and completion letter)
In accordance with Federal law and U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) and U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) policy, this institution is prohibited from discriminating on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, age, or disability. Under the Food Stamp Act and USDA policy, discrimination is prohibited also on the basis of religion or political beliefs.

To file a complaint of discrimination, contact USDA or HHS. Write USDA, Director, Office of Civil Rights, 1400 Independence Avenue, SW, Washington D.C. 20250-9410 or call (800) 795-3272 or (202) 720-6382 (TTY). Write HHS, Director, Office for Civil Rights, Room 506-F, 200 Independence Avenue, S.W., Washington, D.C. 20201 or call (202) 619-0403 (voice) or (202) 619-3257 (TDD). USDA and HHS are equal opportunity providers and employers.

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Now Available: Emergency Cash Assistance The Tennessee Department of Human Services (TDHS) is making essential financial resources available to families that have been significantly impacted by the COVID-19 emergency.

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State of Tennessee Resources for Children and Families

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State of Tennessee Resources for Children and Families

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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How Children and Adults Can Build Core Capabilities for Life

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Tips for Building Resilience for foster/ adopted children.

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Tips for Building Resilience for foster/ adopted children.

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Our foster and adopted kids have often experienced overwhelming amounts of chaos and change before settling into the safe space of our homes. The trauma of those experiences can impact the ability to learn resilience in their lives moving forward. Building resilience in our children who came with challenging and traumatic histories behind them is an essential task of foster and adoptive parenting.

Foster and adopted children who have experienced trauma quite often need our help to learn resilience in the face of current and future life experiences. Heather Forkey, MD of the Foster Children Evaluation Service (FaCES) and the Child Protection Program at the University of Massachusetts Memorial Children's Medical Center in Worcester, has done some extensive research on the impacts of trauma and resiliency skills in children.

We've all heard of the B.R.A.T. diet for addressing a child with stomach distress - bananas, rice, applesauce, and toast. It's an age-old cure to soothe the upset and help their tummies recover. It's just as crucial to have tools that will help us heal our children's hearts and brains from the complex challenges through which they have lived and which they will face as they grow . Dr. Forkey created an easy-to-remember, accessible device to help address our children's emotional distress. Now, during this season of uncertainty and pandemic crisis, it is a great time to consider practicing the Three Rs.

The Three Rs of Building Resilience

When a child experiences a traumatic event, he will need your intervention to find his footing again. For many of our foster and adopted kids, everyday occurrences that happen in our homes can trigger previous anxieties or traumas of which you were not aware. You don't have to delve into the earlier experience if you see trauma behaviors emerging. Instead, you can take the distressing event and use it to help him find healing.

These 3 Rs will help you build resilience in him, for this event and future challenges:

In the moment of distress - or as quickly as you can get to him - comfort your child with both words and your physical presence. Take this time to be soft and gentle to raise the level of nurture that you are expressing. Reassure him that he is safe, that you are with hi m, that you are available, and that he is loved. Take your time with this step, as it's foundational and pivotal to his ability to move forward.

Return to Routine

So often, when a distressing event occurs, we are tempted to suspend our typical structure. However, many children who have a trauma history feel soothed by a predictable schedule. Returning to a familiar routine once your child is reassured and on his way to being calmed will reinforce the sense of felt-safety you are seeking to bolster. A structured environment also reduces anxiety for a child who is stressed.

Many children cannot regulate themselves when they've just endured a traumatic experience. Dr. Forkey says,

Ultimately, regulating is about being able to identify your emotions and then modulate them, and that can start with giving kids the words for what is going on.

When your child is in distress, you can start the path to regulation by practicing deep calming breathing together. Co-regulating is a unique tool that allows the child's triggered senses just to follow you. Regulating together takes some weight from her shoulders to "pull herself together." She is instead free to rely upon you to lead the way. Many of our children need to learn these coping skills, both at the moment and when returning to regulation following the distress.

Other tips you can try to teach regulation - once the traumatic moment is over - include:

Name the feelings of overwhelm - Use a tool like these Feelings Flashcards* to get comfortable identifying her feelings.

Role-play various emotions - Practice expressing the feelings and how to manage them, using these 3 Rs.

Take turns playing "What If" - Create silly versions of scenarios with which she has previously struggled.

Journal together - Write a story or a question to her and pass the journal to her for a response.

Maximize teachable moments - When you catch a movie scene reminiscent of an issue your child has faced, talk about how the character handled it. Ask your child what he would do. Brainstorm together about the pros and cons of the different ways to cope and so on.

Put The 3 Rs On Repeat

Building resilience in our kids is a multi-layered process that, in part, requires consistency from us. Our ability to be consistent comes from managing our own ability to regulate. Then we can be ready to meet our child's needs. Being mindful of the things that happen during the day that can dysregulate us is critical.

One helpful way to work on our regulation is to narrate the experience for our kids. They are always watching anyway, so go ahead and maximize it:

When an appointment is a no-show with no explanation, say, "I feel very disrespected when someone doesn't show up for an appointment. I feel angry when my time is not valued."

Follow up on the naming of your feelings with a plan for how you are going to handle yourself. "Well, I guess this means I have an hour to sit and read that book I've been trying to get to all week. What would you like to do with your extra hour today?"

As your foster or adopted child grows more confident in his ability to "bounce back" from distressing moments, you may be tempted to set the 3 Rs on a back burner. Instead, press in a bit when you see your child successfully managing those traumatic events. Apply the 3 Rs from the "Hey! I caught you doing GREAT!" kind of perspective. Positive reinforcement and the surprise of being called out for success are a fabulous impetus to keep building his resilience.

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Have you listened to Raising Resilient Kids, with Dr. Ken Ginsburg? [/sws_green_box]

Building Resilience Together

Many kids have a natural tendency toward resilience, while others do not yet possess that skill. Once your foster or adopted child feels safe, nurtured, and regulated, you can enjoy witnessing their expressions of resilience. Building resiliency in a child who has experienced trauma is one of the essential tasks of parenthood. Growing this life skill together can be a bonding experience that will buffer your relationship for the future.

**If you are interested in learning more about building resilience during the CoVid-19 pandemic, we highly recommend our recent show, Using This Time of Shutdown to Develop Resiliency in Our Kids and Family. It's full of practical tools you can begin implementing today!

S ource:  Building Resilience in Children to Ward Off 'Broken Adults'Image Credit: Pawel Loj; Jesus Dieguez Fernandez; Nenad Stojkovic

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Tips for Building Resilience in Our Children

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Our foster and adopted kids have often experienced overwhelming amounts of chaos and change before settling into the safe space of our homes. The trauma of those experiences can impact the ability to learn resilience in their lives moving forward.

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Teenagers can be a challenge at the best of times. However, when your teen has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) as well, it can present additional challenges.

Teenagers with OCD may have a number of problems that can make treatment of symptoms difficult.

Your Teen Refuses to Be Assessed and/or Treated

Teenagers often refuse to go for assessment and treatment for OCD. This is often related to the stigma of being diagnosed with a mental illness. They may also worry about falling behind in school or have concerns about the side effects of OCD medications. In addition, like many people with OCD, your teen may have poor insight into the nature and severity of his symptoms and may not see the need to seek treatment.

How to Cope: Try to find a therapist who is skilled in motivational interviewing techniques. These are designed to help enhance motivation for change and reduce negative feelings towards treatment through education. These techniques may also help your teen gain insight into the impact of her symptoms on herself and the people around her.

It is important to remember that forcing someone to change simply does not work. Just being there as a source of support for when your teen does decide to seek treatment is often the best option. Constant nagging and confrontation often make the situation worse.

You Have Become Involved in Your Teen's Compulsions

Many teenagers with OCD have managed to get their parents involved in their compulsions. This could involve things like helping with a cleaning ritual, agreeing to arrange items in the house a certain way, or providing excessive reassurance, like telling your teen over and over again that his hands are clean or that nothing bad will happen. This can cause burnout and frustration as parents grow tired of participating in rituals and/or continually providing reassurance for the same problems.

How to Cope: Ideally, you should have no involvement in your child's compulsions nor should you continue to provide reassurance once you have given initial feedback to your child. Participating in compulsions only reinforces their importance. Likewise, providing excessive reassurance validates the worries that accompany OCD. Many parents go along with their teen's compulsions so that their teen will not feel distressed, but it is important to realize that in the long run, this does much more harm than good.

It can often be helpful to work with a mental health professional to identify problematic OCD behaviors. Moreover, involving family members in treatment can be helpful.

Your Teen Becomes Enraged or Violent When Prevented From Participating in an OCD Ritual

Many pleasant, otherwise well-adjusted teens with OCD become very angry when prevented from carrying out an OCD ritual. In some cases, this can lead to physical confrontations between the parent and teen or the destruction of property.

How to Cope: It is important to remember that in the vast majority of cases, this anger is driven by fear, anxiety, and frustration, rather than aggression. Your teen is simply feeling overwhelmed and has run out of coping resources. It can often be helpful to engage an objective third-party, such as an OCD therapist, who can work with your teen in a non-judgmental environment to explore the nature of his obsessions and compulsions. The therapist can then work with your teen to put coping strategies in place and work to reduce the frequency of compulsions.

If you are tackling this alone, your best strategy may be to simply walk away until you and your teen have calmed down. You can then discuss the matter rationally.

Your Teen Will Not Discuss Her Symptoms With You

Teenagers are often reluctant to share details of their lives with their parents at the best of times, and this secrecy can be even worse in teens with OCD. Symptoms of OCD can be embarrassing, particularly with respect to obsessions related to sexuality, which could involve parents, siblings, pets, or other inappropriate figures.

How to Cope: You may have to accept that your teen will not be willing to share the nature of his symptoms with you. Respecting his privacy and providing a supportive, non-judgmental environment should he decide to open up is often the most helpful strategy in these circumstances. You may suggest that if he is not comfortable speaking with you, you will help him find a therapist he is comfortable with.

Although your teen may be willing to discuss her symptoms with an OCD therapist, keep in mind that in most cases the therapist is bound to maintain your child's confidentiality and will not share details with you unless your child gives permission. This can be very frustrating for parents, but it is important to respect your child's right to privacy.

Your Teen Is Using Drugs to Cope With Symptoms

How to Cope: In these circumstances, it is advisable to seek professional assistance, as this can be a complex problem that requires the experience of trained mental health professionals. Your family doctor is often a good starting point to identify resources. It can be frustrating for your child to reject such assistance, but unless she is a danger to herself or someone else, she cannot be forced into treatment.

Setting firm boundaries at home, such as not allowing drugs/drug use in the house, and managing your own stress levels are paramount in these instances.​

Your Teen Is Being Bullied at School Because of Her OCD

Unfortunately, some teens with OCD are subjected to psychological and/or physical bullying. This can be extremely stressful for both parents and the affected teen and can lead to depression. Of course, depression increases the risk of self-harm behaviors, including suicide.

How to Cope: If you become aware of bullying, it is essential to engage the appropriate professionals at your teen's school, including the school principal, guidance counselor and your child's teacher. While your teen needs to be taught assertiveness skills for dealing with such situations, he also needs to feel safe and confront such problems in a supportive environment. Individual therapy can be helpful for focusing on building self-esteem, working on social skills, and of course, managing OCD symptoms.

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Teenagers can be a challenge at the best of times. However, when your teen has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) as well, it can present additional challenges. Teenagers with OCD may have a number of problems that can make treatment of symptoms difficult. Teenagers often refuse to go for assessment and treatment for OCD.

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Fight Flight Freeze – Anxiety Explained For Teens

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Body dysmorphic disorder patients actually see faces differently

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Resources for various mental health disorders; what to look for, how to get help, and how to talk about mental health.

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Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration

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Mental health includes our emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It affects how we think, feel, and act, and helps determine how we handle stress, relate to others, and make choices.

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A site to learn about mental health issues and reduce stigma.

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Tumblr is a place to express yourself, discover yourself, and bond over the stuff you love. It's where your interests connect you with your people.

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What to look for.

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Anorexia nervosa is an eating disorder that makes people lose more weight than is considered healthy for their age and height.

Persons with this disorder may have an intense fear of weight gain, even when they are underweight. They may diet or exercise too much, or use other methods to lose weight.

Causes

The exact causes of anorexia nervosa are not known. Many factors probably are involved. Genes and hormones may play a role. Social attitudes that promote very thin body types may also be involved.

Family conflicts are no longer thought to contribute to this or other eating disorders.

Risk factors for anorexia include:

Being more worried about, or paying more attention to, weight and shape

Having an anxiety disorder as a child

Having a negative self-image

Having eating problems during infancy or early childhood

Having certain social or cultural ideas about health and beauty

Trying to be perfect or overly focused on rules

Anorexia usually begins during the teen years or young adulthood. It is more common in females, but may also be seen in males. The disorder is seen mainly in white women who are high academic achievers and who have a goal-oriented family or personality.

Symptoms

To be diagnosed with anorexia, a person must:

Have an intense fear of gaining weight or becoming fat, even when she is underweight

Refuse to keep weight at what is considered normal for her age and height (15% or more below the normal weight)

Have a body image that is very distorted, be very focused on body weight or shape, and refuse to admit the seriousness of weight loss

Have not had a period for three or more cycles (in women)

People with anorexia may severely limit the amount of food they eat, or eat and then make themselves throw up. Other behaviors include:

Cutting food into small pieces or moving them around the plate instead of eating

Exercising all the time, even when the weather is bad, they are hurt, or their schedule is busy

Going to the bathroom right after meals

Refusing to eat around other people

Using pills to make themselves urinate (water pills or diuretics), have a bowel movement (enemas and laxatives), or decrease their appetite (diet pills)

Other symptoms of anorexia may include:

Blotchy or yellow skin that is dry and covered with fine hair

Confused or slow thinking, along with poor memory or judgment

Depression

Dry mouth

Extreme sensitivity to cold (wearing several layers of clothing to stay warm)

Loss of bone strength

Wasting away of muscle and loss of body fat

Get Help

Learn how to talk about mental health or how to get help for yourself or someone you care about.

Last Updated: 03/01/2022

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Body Dysmorphic Disorder (the bully in your brain)

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Body Dysmorphic Disorder (the bully in your brain)

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ABCnews/ Good Morning America article and video clip about body dysmorphic disorder.

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Robyn Stern, a licensed clinical social worker in New York, has missed weeks and months of her life due to body dysmorphic disorder, an illness in which a person is overly worried about imaginary or minor physical flaws.

"I missed a semester in college because I couldn't leave my house for a month," Stern told " Good Morning America." "I've had three to four medical leaves of absence [from my job] because I couldn't function optimally."

For Stern, now 40, body dysmorphic disorder, or BDD, took over her life for years because of perceived flaws she saw on her face.

"Anytime I had any imperfection, any acne or anything on my face, I felt like I should not go out in public," she said. "I just thought that I was ugly and defective."

Stern, who now treats people with BDD, said it took her more than a year of seeing medical professionals, therapists and doing her own research to get a diagnosis of BDD and start the treatment that ultimately put her in recovery.

"It's often a very long road for people to get diagnosed," she said, adding of her own experience, "I never thought that the issue of my appearance was actually a psychological issue."

BDD is a mental health disorder, defined by the Anxiety and Depression Association of America as "a body-image disorder characterized by persistent and intrusive preoccupations with an imagined or slight defect in one's appearance."

And though often attached to stigma and shame, it is a disorder that is more common than people may think.

The disorder currently affects about 2 to 3% of the general population, making it more common than obsessive compulsive disorder, schizophrenia or anorexia nervosa, according to Dr. Katharine Phillips, professor of psychiatry at Weill Cornell Medical College and author of "The Broken Mirror," the first book written about BDD.

"It's very important to take BDD seriously and recognize that it's not simply vanity," Phillips told "GMA." "It's a serious and sometimes life-threatening disorder."

It is also a disorder that has faced ramifications from the coronavirus pandemic -- as people stayed inside, had to wear face masks and saw themselves on Zoom -- that will continue post-pandemic as people are forced to return to the world, experts said.

"As the world opens up, it will be important for people with BDD to go out to do things and socialize because social avoidance just keeps BDD going," said Phillips. "If it's too hard to go out and be around others, this is a sign that you need treatment."

Body dysmorphic disorder can feel like a 'bully in your brain'

For a person with BDD, a simple mirror in a bathroom or in their home can become a dangerous weapon, something they stand in front of to pick apart their appearance.

"When you're dealing with body dysmorphic disorder, you have a bully in your brain," said Stern. "It's the intrusive thoughts regarding your perception of your appearance that are so distorted and affect you so deeply to the core of who you are. It feels like you can't escape yourself."

"What I tell people with body dysmorphic disorder is that they're never truly going to be able to truly see what they look like," she said.

While it's not uncommon for people in today's world to be appearance-focused, people with BDD have an inability to let thoughts of their appearance go and cannot see themselves as they truly look, according to Stern.

"We are dealing with people who have a distortion with how they see themselves, and we actually know from functional MRI studies that people with body dysmorphic disorder's brains light up differently than people who don't have it," she said. "Their spatial processing is different and they're not able to accurately perceive their appearance."

BDD can focus on any part of the body but is most commonly focused on skin (perceived acne, scarring or skin color), hair (perceived hair thinning or excessive facial or body hair) and nose (perceived size and shape), according to Phillips.

"Common repetitive behaviors are comparing one's own appearance with that of others, excessive mirror checking, excessive grooming, skin picking, taking lots of selfies to check your appearance and seeking reassurance from other people about how you look," she said. "And most people with BDD try to hide the disliked body areas, using things such as makeup or concealer, a hat, clothing, their hands, their hair or body position."

For someone to be diagnosed with BDD, those behaviors must be preoccupying enough to cause clinically significant distress, like anxiety, low mood or shame, or impairment in functioning, like avoidance of social situations, difficulty concentrating or difficulty doing school work or performing a job, according to Phillips.

BDD is not body dysmorphia

Though BDD can take many forms, it is not body dysmorphia, a term that is often used but does not capture the significance of BDD, according to both Stern and Phillips.

"Body dysmorphia is a colloquial, non-clinical term that is sometimes used to refer to body dysmorphic disorder but is also sometimes used to refer to more common and not necessarily problematic body image concerns," said Phillip, noting the term "body image dissatisfaction" is more appropriate to use than body dysmorphia when describing body image concerns.

Stern said that as someone who suffers from BDD, using the correct term for the disorder is critically important.

"I've heard so many people say, 'But everybody has body dysmorphia,'" she said. "And when I think about my own struggles, I don't think everyone just sits in a house for a month ... because [they] can't function optimally."

Stern continued, "People with BDD can feel minimized and feel like other people don't truly understand what this is."

Body dysmorphic disorder is often misdiagnosed

People of all ages can be affected by BDD, but for two-thirds of people it begins in early adolescence, before the age of 18.

Because BDD symptoms in adolescence are often considered just a "normal phase," people can go for years or decades without being diagnosed, according to Phillips.

People can also often go for years without a mental health diagnosis because they seek the wrong kind of treatment, Phillips noted.

"Because most people with BDD are mostly or completely convinced that they look ugly or abnormal -- even though they don't -- a majority seek and receive cosmetic treatment, such as dermatologic treatment or surgery," she said. "This is unfortunate, because cosmetic treatment virtually never improves BDD and can even make it worse -- sometimes much worse."

In other cases, people with BDD may seek out mental health treatment but not specifically address their preoccupation with their perceived physical appearance, whether because of stigma or lack of awareness.

"I never felt the need to share that I felt that I was ugly, that I felt that I was disgusting, that I felt my skin was repulsive and that I couldn't go out of my house," Stern said of her own experience. "I thought I was ugly and I wasn't enough, and so I never realized that I was dealing with a psychiatric issue."

Different treatments exist for BDD

Recovery from BDD is possible and seeking treatment for the disorder is nothing to be ashamed of, Phillips and Stern stressed.

Knowing when to seek treatment often means recognizing when the disorder is preventing you from living your daily life and doing activities that you would normally want to do.

"Body dysmorphic disorder is like having a relationship with your defective body part and you're so consumed with it that it takes over your day-to-day life," said Stern. "It is about the perception and distortion of one's physical appearance, but it goes deeper to that and truly affects one's functioning."

The importance of seeking treatment for BDD bears out in the complications it can cause, from depression and anxiety to substance abuse and suicide, according to Phillips.

"One recent research study in nearly 500 patients with various mental disorders found that BDD was associated with higher rates of suicidality than any other mental disorder that was examined, including major depressive disorder, bipolar depression, OCD and PTSD," she said.

BDD can be treated with a class of medications called serotonin reuptake inhibitors -- or SRIs or SSRIs -- that help to decrease obsessive behaviors and improve mood and body image, according to Phillips.

Cognitive behavioral therapy is also used to help people with BDD retrain their thoughts and develop coping mechanisms to handle symptoms, according to Phillips.

There are also now organizations that support people with BDD, including the International OCD Foundation, the Anxiety & Depression Association of America and the U.K.-based Body Dysmorphic Disorder Foundation.

Stern said she is proof that though BDD is a chronic condition, it is one that people can seek treatment for and go on to live healthy and productive lives.

"I want people to realize that they're not alone in their struggle, that they can get better and that they don't have to suffer in silence any longer," she said. "That's part of the reason that I like to speak because I want people to understand that."
If you or someone you know is in crisis, text "NAMI" to 741741 for 24/7, confidential, free crisis counseling or call the National Alliance on Mental Illness Helpline at 800-950-6264. People looking for help for themselves or a loved one can also email NAMI at info@nami.org. You can also call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or text HELLO to the Crisis Text Line at 741741.

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'A bully in your brain': What it's like to live with body dysmorphic disorder

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Robyn Stern, a licensed clinical social worker in New York, has missed weeks and months of her life due to body dysmorphic disorder, an illness in which a person is overly worried about imaginary or minor physical flaws. "I missed a semester in college because I couldn't leave my house for a month," Stern told " Good Morning America."

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For children, caregivers, and school personnel.

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From training and educational opportunities to networking, the IOCDF has much to offer the mental health professional community. Our professional and institutional members form a strong community of knowledgeable providers and researchers who are working to improve the lives of those affected by OCD across the US, and around the world.

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For students, caregivers, and schools.

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Anxiety in the Classroom is an online resource center for school personnel, students, and their families.
This website provides useful information, resources, and materials about anxiety and OCD as they relate to the school setting. In addition, it offers specific tools for teachers, administrators, and other school personnel who may work with students with anxiety and/or OCD. Parents and students can also find tools and information to help them advocate for school accommodations, as well as to educate their teachers and classmates about OCD and anxiety.

Impact of Anxiety in the Classroom Setting:

OCD and anxiety are very common in children and can take a tremendous toll on the child's school performance and social functioning. Approximately 1 in every 200 children in the United States suffers from OCD or a related disorder.

Over half of adults with OCD report that their symptoms began before age 18.

The National Institute of Mental Health estimates that around 30% of youth have experienced an anxiety disorder.

A recent IOCDF-funded study has shown that OCD significantly impairs an individual's ability to take advantage of educational opportunities.

A recent study showed that OCD has a pervasive and profound impact on education across all educational levels, particularly when it has an early age of onset.

Need for Anxiety in the Classroom Resources:

Unfortunately, the professionals who interact with youth the most (such as school personnel and pediatricians) are not trained to recognize or work with anxiety/OCD in children. This means that the average child with a mental health condition will wait years after displaying symptoms to receive an accurate diagnosis and treatment.

Anxiety in the Classroom was developed by the International OCD Foundation to reduce the negative impact of anxiety and OCD on youth.

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Anxiety In The Classroom | School Anxiety | Free Resources

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Anxiety in the Classroom is an online resource center for school personnel, students, and their families. This website provides useful information, resources, and materials about anxiety and OCD as they relate to the school setting. In addition, it offers specific tools for teachers, administrators, and other school personnel who may work with students with anxiety and/or OCD.

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A site for teens, families and professionals

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Have you ever looked in a mirror and become fixated on a pimple or a scar or other flaw on your skin? Or been suddenly consumed by the idea that your nose looks weird? Now, imagine that this is all you saw every time you looked in the mirror. Imagine feeling convinced that these flaws were the only things other people saw when they looked at you. With all of this leading to feelings of shame, self-hatred, and overly-critical thoughts about your appearance. And when these thoughts and feelings become time consuming and begin to take over your daily life - this is body dysmorphic disorder.

There are many different ways in which BDD may get in the way of your life. In school, sometimes it might be difficult to pay attention because you are so concerned with your appearance. Also, it can be difficult to get to class on time if your dressing and self care routines are taking a long time in the morning. It can be hard to keep up your grades when all you can think about is whether or not your friend can see the pimples on your chin. In more extreme cases, individuals with BDD are unable to attend school at all. For more information about how BDD can interfere with school click here.

BDD might also interfere with your relationships and spending time with friends. Many teens and young adults with BDD have trouble going out with friends because they are convinced that they'll have a terrible time, and no one would want to talk with them. You may also find yourself arguing with your parents and friends about how you look. Even if they reassure you that you look fine or even "beautiful," it can be hard to believe that they aren't just saying these things to make you feel better. For more information about how BDD can interfere with your relationships click here.

Another area that BDD can get in the way is with work. For example, you may be avoiding work and your job duties altogether because you are so worried about what your boss and coworkers think of your appearance. Time consuming rituals associated with BDD can interfere with your daily life at work, causing you to be late for your job, ignore promotion opportunities, and feel isolated from your coworkers. For more about how BDD can interfere with your work and career, click here.

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Chris Trondsen reflects on the negative impact Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) had on his high school and college years. Have you ever looked in a mirror and become fixated on a pimple or a scar or other flaw on your skin? Or been suddenly consumed by the idea that your nose looks weird?

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TN Fosters is a statewide campaign linking government, faith, non-profits, business and creative communities.

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TN Fosters is a statewide campaign linking government, faith, non-profits, business and creative communities.

If you are interested in fostering or mentoring a child, or would like to provide support to foster parents, please click on the region where you reside for a list of private providers.

Lauderdale, Tipton, Haywood, Madison, Henderson, Decatur, Hardin, Chester, McNairy,
Hardeman, Fayette

Lake, Obion, Dyer, Weakley, Gibson, Crockett, Henry, Carroll, Stewart, Houston, Benton,
Humphreys, Dickson

Montgomery, Robertson, Cheatham, Sumner, Trousdale, Wilson, Rutherford, Williamson

Macon, Clay, Pickett, Jackson, Overton, Fentress, Smith, Putnam, DeKalb, White,
Cumberland, Cannon, Warren, VanBuren

Perry, Hickman, Wayne, Lewis, Lawrence, Giles, Maury, Marshall, Lincoln, Bedford, Moore,
Coffee, Franklin, Grundy

Hancock, Hawkins, Greene, Washington, Sullivan, Unicoi, Carter, Johnson

Scott Campbell, Union, Anderson, Morgan, Roane, Loudon, Monroe

Claiborne, Grainger, Hamblen, Jefferson, Cooke, Sevier, Blount

Sequatchie, Bledsoe, Rhea, Meigs, McMinn, Polk, Bradley, Hamilton, Marion

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TN Fosters is a statewide campaign linking government, faith, non-profits, business and creative communities. If you are interested in fostering or mentoring a child, or would like to provide support to foster parents, please click on the region where you reside for a list of private providers.

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Kinship Care Resources - The Annie E. Casey Foundation

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Kinship Care Resources - The Annie E. Casey Foundation

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There are three general and sometimes overlapping categories of kinship care. These categories are: 1) private or informal care, where families make arrangements with or without legal recognition of a caregiver’s status; 2) diversion kinship care, where children who have come to the attention of child welfare agencies end up living with a relative or close friend of the family. and 3) licensed or unlicensed kinship care, where kids live with relatives but remain in legal custody of the state.

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Tennessee Fosters Hope is a statewide collaborative campaign engaging state agencies, community organizations, the business community, and Houses of Worship to elevate high quality care and opportunities for children and families impacted by foster care and adoption.

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Show Hope's new Hope for the Journey Conference (formerly the Empowered to Connect Conference) seeks to encourage and better equip parents and caregivers meeting the everyday needs of children impacted by adoption and/or foster care as well as resource faith communities in their support of these parents, caregivers, and families.

In support of TN Fosters Hope, Show Hope is offering free registration to Churches and Houses of Worship interested in hosting the new conference premiering April 9, 2021, with on-demand viewing available through May 31, 2021.

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Show Hope's new Hope for the Journey Conference (formerly the Empowered to Connect Conference) seeks to encourage and better equip parents and caregivers meeting the everyday needs of children impacted by adoption and/or foster care as well as resource faith communities in their support of these parents, caregivers, and families.

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Resources for parents/ caregivers, children, and families.

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In light of the COVID-19 outbreak, Harmony Family Center is reopening operations through a phased plan that prioritizes the health and well-being of our staff and those we serve. Harmony is offering critical services in adherence with federal, state, and local guidelines and is prioritizing services offered one-on-one or in small group settings. Harmony Family Center and Montvale will reopen to larger groups in the future. Our staff is dedicated to supporting children and families during this time, and are following recommended safety guidelines to reduce the spread of COVID-19.

We appreciate your understanding and patience during this time; please contact us with any questions.

​

Parents

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Harmony at Home: Story Time

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Download our Nature Scavenger Hunt checklist to use your five senses to discover items in your own backyard.

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Harmony at Home: Family Activities

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In light of the COVID-19 outbreak, Harmony Family Center is reopening operations through a phased plan that prioritizes the health and well-being of our staff and those we serve. Harmony is offering critical services in adherence with federal, state, and local guidelines and is prioritizing services offered one-on-one or in small group settings.

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Rutherford County Foster Parent Association

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Rutherford County Foster Parent Association

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Promoting better community awareness of foster care, care for foster children in our community and support local foster families.

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The Rutherford County Foster Parent Association's main objective is to promote better community awareness of foster care, care for foster children in our community and support local foster families.

They have joined hands with local Churches/Businesses/Schools and other community partners to help supply foster children and at-risk children of Rutherford County with those needs that Dept. of Children Services and Resource families cannot adequately provide.

Their mission is to provide Rutherford County foster children, as they enter custody, with age and gender appropriate personal hygiene items, school related supplies and clothes as needed through the Shepherd's Supply Closet and their community partners.

They hold monthly meetings which consists of members of the RCFPA, Dept. of Children Services, Church partners, other non-profit organizations and any other community partners identified as important to their mission. During these meeting they provide mandatory training for foster parents and free childcare for their children.

They supply and maintain the Shepherd's Supply Clothing Closet which is available to all Foster families and Dept. of Children Services employees upon request, free of charge. This includes a supply of We Care Bags at the Dept. Children's Services office. The "We Care" Bags are given to children as the enter state custody.

They also try to bring public awareness regarding foster care and the needs of over 200+ foster children in our Rutherford County community.

SPONSORS

Opportunities to serve ON SITE:

1. One Saturday ever month at the Sherpherd's Supply Clothing Closet, they sort, hang and distribute clothes to foster children/families in need. They are always accepting new and used clothing for their clothing closet.

2. They need volunteers to help watch the foster children while parents are in monthly training classes and to help out at one of their yearly events for the kids.

3. They are needing volunteers that can help Grant Write and maintain/promote their website.

4. They need more space. They have outgrown their Shepherd's Supply Closet space twice. They need a space that is safe; climate controlled, and is no smaller than 1500 square feet. Donated space would be optimal because they have limited funds and want to give everything back to the children.

Opportunities to serve OFF SITE: They use volunteers and local groups to stuff "We Care" bags or backpacks with school supplies throughout the year. They also need volunteers to help with grant writing and help maintaining their website.

Donation Needs: They can use donations of school supplies, clothing, new toiletry items and new baby items. These items go in to the "We Care" Bags and are given when requested, or when children first enter State custody. Some of the group collection drives have been:

*A baby shower drive- Ask people to donate diapers, baby wipes, baby shampoo, burp clothes, bibs, bottles, baby formula, pacifiers, small infant toys, and receiving blankets.

*A school supply drive-We strive to provide all the school age children that come into State custody in Rutherford County (regardless of the time of year) with new backpack full of school supplies. We follow the "Rutherford County" school supply list per grade. Ex: Backpack, #2 pencils, crayons, etc.

*We Care, about your Hair! Drive- Ask for donations of new brushes, combs, shampoo (adult, baby, and kid), conditioner, hair gel, & hair ties.

*A toiletry drive - Ask for donations of bottles of shampoo, lotion, deodorant, mouthwash, toothbrushes, toothpaste, & soap.

*Fill a "We Care" Bag-They will provide you with the exact items needed to fill each age groups bag.

Event Volunteers:

July - Back to School Bash

August - Childcare Volunteers for monthly foster parent meeting/training (usually 2nd Tuesday of the month from 6-8 pm)

October - 5K Monster Dash and Family Fun Run

November-Consign & Co. Consignment Sale-ALL proceeds go to RCFPA

November - Potluck for Foster Families (meals cooked and served for foster children & family)

December - Holiday party for foster children; presents, servers, entertainment

January- May : Childcare volunteers for monthly foster parent meeting/training (usually held the second Tuesday night each month from 6-8 pm)

How to volunteer: To sign up for volunteer opportunities, you can "LIKE" them on Facebook at Rutherford County Foster Parent Association, check out their website at http://www.rcfpa.net and/or contact Cassie Wolski at 615-829-0776.

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The Rutherford County Foster Parent Association's main objective is to promote better community awareness of foster care, care for foster children in our community and support local foster families. They have joined hands with local Churches/Businesses/Schools and other community partners to help supply foster children and at-risk children of Rutherford County with those needs that Dept.

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Isaiah 117 House provides physical and emotional support in a safe and loving home for children awaiting foster care placement.

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Home Our Homes Our Purpose Tennessee Homes Events Events Calendar 2021 Golf Tournament Spread the Love Paved in Love Indiana Homes Florida Homes Virginia Homes Virtual Tours Volunteer Shop Videos Contact

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Tennessee Foster Adoptive Care Association

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Tennessee Foster Adoptive Care Association

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Encouraging and motivating foster and adoptive parents for the general welfare of foster children.

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Tennessee Foster Adoptive Care Association

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The Tennessee Foster and Adoptive Care Association is a non-profit organization that functions as an advocacy support group for resource parents throughout the state of Tennessee. We encourage and motivate foster and adoptive parents, as well as any other interested member of the community, to work together to promote the general welfare of foster children. We assist in communications between foster and adoptive parents and others concerned with the growth and development of foster children. First and foremost, we are spokespersons for foster and adoptive parents and the children under their care and custody.

Membership is open to all foster or adoptive parents, employees of the Tennessee Department of Children's Services, and citizens concerned about the wellbeing of foster and adoptive parents and children. If you would like to become a member of the TFACA, please complete an application for membership. Active members must pay annual dues, and will have the right to vote and be eligible for election as officers or directors of the TFACA.

The Walk Me Home Enrichment Fund has been established for the purpose of supporting families by enriching the lives of children and youth in foster care, custodial kinship care, along with Expedited Kinship Care and in special circumstances- adoptive placements.

On average, there are about 350 children and teens who are in the full guardianship of the state of Tennessee and in need of forever families through adoption.

To learn more about adopting from foster care in Tennessee, please visit TNFosters.gov or any of these four photo and profile listing sites.

If you have any questions, please submit an inquiry form, which can be found on the photo listing sites, or call the Department of Children's Services, 615-741-9858.
AdoptUSKids Heart Gallery of Tennessee Tennessee Kids Belong
Parent a Child, a service of Harmony Family Center's FOCUS program

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Tennessee Foster Adoptive Care Association

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The Tennessee Foster and Adoptive Care Association is a non-profit organization that functions as an advocacy support group for resource parents throughout the state of Tennessee. We encourage and motivate foster and adoptive parents, as well as any other interested member of the community, to work together to promote the general welfare of foster children.

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High Risk Status of High Achieving Students

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High Risk Status of High Achieving Students

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Aiming high is a priority for many families that want to secure a future for their children, and some try to get their foot in the door in high-ranking schools as early as possible.

Such schools are difficult to get into and even more difficult to pass. So not all are going to get in and certainly not all that get in will come out.

Dog Eat Dog

The result has been a highly-competitive environment where failure is not an option, according to parents. Yet the students know that failure is an inevitability for some of them. And it could be them.

Add to this the fact that schools don't just teach. They offer a wide range of academic and extracurricular offerings.

So in a surprising turn of events, top colleges have an alarming share of students that have a higher rate of mental health problems than the national averages, causing some studies to label students in "high-achieving schools" as "at-risk."

The New Normal

This status used to be reserved for the students that either failed to get into a high-achieving school or never had a chance in the first place, especially among kids dealing with poverty and absent parents.

Let that sink in for a moment. The students that get into the best of the best institutions are facing the same mental health issues as those that struggle with low-income, trauma, and discrimination.

Stress is Stress... Is Stress

The causes of the stress may be different, but the result is the same: Chronic stress with pronounced effects on the well-being of the student.

It comes down to a fundamental law of biology. The higher the stress in your life, the worse the outcome, no matter what the source of the stress is.

Naturally, some parents are going to be surprised by this data. They're going to want to know where all the pressure is coming from.

Trouble in Paradise

It's more a matter of where isn't it coming from. Students in high-achieving schools don't just see their future staked to their success. They see the approval, even the love, of their parents, their school coaches, and favorite teachers.

Reputations and ratings are on the line, which can affect the real-estate figures in the area.

The threads tied to those students are many and tangled.

Add to this the fact that acceptance rates are lower than ever at these top colleges.

Students that might otherwise be friends and form a support system must now compete with each other for spots in certain classes.

The act of learning and building skills has been reduced to a task that needs done. A means to an end. Students that once enjoyed the process of learning and doing can end up having the joy sucked out of their education.

Factor in the stress of knowing that if you fall, your peers are dying for a chance to outshine you.

It Starts Early

This starts much earlier than in high school or college. Remember the glitz and glamour surrounding things like spelling bees, the advanced reading track, and the sports teams?

Remember the overachievers in middle and high school? How they ran on very little sleep and every minute of their day was under a schedule?

The college students that are coming unglued have been a product in development for a very long time.

When The Cracks Appear

That kind of stress has led to higher rates of depression, anxiety, acting out, and substance abuse. The rates are upwards of two to three times the national average.

We can't overlook the fact that tying a student's worth to what they can accomplish does not foster a healthy outlook. Not on oneself and not on others.

It would be a far cry to say that every student in high-achieving schools has experienced the same pressures and reacted the same way. Some get by alright. But as a group, the numbers are impossible to ignore.

It's been communicated to these students in one form or another that the only way to a successful job and sustainable pay is the narrow path through whichever high-achieving school they set their sights on.

But what keeps some students from succumbing to that pressure while others buckle?

People, Not Things

One piece of the puzzle has to do with the values that the students were taught by their parents.
One study revealed that students who had been taught to value character over accomplishments held together better.
The survey had the students rank a list of values in the order that they felt their parents would. Three values were achievement-oriented and three other values were about character traits, such as being respectful, helpful, and kind.

The more the values of character outranked the values of achievement, the more the student was likely to do alright.

It's a real wake-up call for parents who might say that character and behavior are a top priority, but that tell on themselves in little ways. The messages about the importance of achievement are omnipresent in the schools, and they tune the ears of our children so that when they see or hear their parents indicate a love of things or achievements, they recognize it.

They see it for what it is.

Our children see what turns our heads, what we put first in the day, what we admire in others, and what gets the lion's share of our time and energy.

Even if the values passed on to our children are noble and healthy, a simple lack of balance can have negative effects.

Focusing on one single thing from sunup until sundown will take its toll, and that includes education. There needs to be room for things that buffer against stress and pressure, like eating together as a family, playtime, downtime, etc.

The Spectre of Addiction

A reality of all colleges, bottom to top, is consumption of drugs and alcohol. What starts as a one-time experiment becomes a coping mechanism to keep the electricity of stress and pressure out.

There are some new insights into addiction that could not have come at a better time for troubled students under pressure.

The classic understanding of addiction has been that the brain forms a chemical dependency on the high created by a substance, which is scientific and logical.

The feeling of well-being caused by a substance is no longer a luxury, but the standard, because the brain resets itself so that the presence of the substance is "normal."

By that logic, every soldier that had gone off to war would have come home a junkie because of the high-grade morphine issued to the injured on the battlefield. It wasn't the street-level stuff. This was the real deal with a pure high to go along with the painkilling properties.

The truth was that some soldiers came home from war and acclimated to civilian life just fine, never reaching for a fix of morphine.

Some of their associates became the stereotype of the veteran-turned-addict, but not all. That doesn't square up with the classic understanding of addiction.

The difference was found in the support system that the soldier had when he got home. Veterans that had friends and family and meaningful connections among them had no trouble leaving the morphine alone.

Veterans that lived alone or that had few valued relationships fared the worst.
One researcher took this data to the next level with a study involving rats.
He placed rats in a cage all by themselves with no rats and no toys. He supplied them with two water bottles: One with regular water and the other with heroin or cocaine in it.

He placed other rats in another cage that had everything a rat could dream of: toys, slides, and most importantly, other rats. He called it Rat Park.

The isolated rats turned to the drug-laced water frequently until they overdosed and died.

The Rat Park rats left the drug water alone.

The Opposite of Addiction Isn't Sobriety

The point of this study in this article is this: If we don't want students turning to drugs and alcohol to cope with their stress and pressure, they need meaningful connections.

The Rat Park studies show us that the opposite of addiction isn't sobriety. It's connection.

Prioritizing achievement above all else, including the value of character, will devalue connection, will elevate impersonal, unfeeling things above all things human.

Drug addiction among students, therefore, isn't kids just being kids. It's a sign of a lack of human connection.

For parents and friends, that means that keeping the lines of communication open is crucial, or else the student may start using substances to simulate the well-being that could be experienced with love and friendship.

Unconditional love is a powerful weapon against stress and pressure. If love is associated with performance and success, then a student's view of how they're valued will constantly be under attack.

Drugs are harmful, but their effect is delivered with 100% dependability. In the absence of meaningful connections that include unconditional love, that kind of reliability of relief is tempting.

So how can parents solve this problem effectively? Without erasing a healthy respect for dreaming and achieving?

Ideally, parents would start when the messages about achievement first start bombarding their children: early in life.

We may not be pushing our kids to get into college at such a tender age in preschool, but we can still communicate high expectations with something as simple as tone of voice or a raised eyebrow. We should be aware of how we do this.

Another factor in the equation is the fact that children are not born knowing how to manage their anger. Small children will react to distress with lots of screaming and thrashing.

Adults respond differently because of the anger management skills they've acquired.

"Shop around" the mental health world for coping strategies that fit your child. Positive affirmations and breathing exercises may work wonders for one child, while punching a pillow may be what's required for another one.

The important thing is that by the time your child is a student and finds themselves dealing with negative emotions in school, they know what to do with it and how to direct it, instead of either holding it in until it causes psychological problems, or recklessly unleashing it on those around them.

Also, wouldn't it be nice if the school is looking out for the mental health of their students as much as the parents?

Without throwing a healthy concern for academic success out the window, look for schools that have programs in place to support stressed students. The more "open-door" policies, the better. It's possible to encourage goals and reaching for great things and also be there to help students that feel overwhelmed.

But there's no substitute for the things that can be done at home.

Mother Theresa is quoted as saying, "If you want to change the world, go home and love your family."

Parents can become so caught up in the business of everyday life that they forget to nourish and nurture the corner of society they have in their own home. Being observant and available to your children will make them feel safe and foster a sense of trust and communication.

Closing Thoughts

From what we've examined, there's room on all fronts in today's high-achieving schools to help improve the mental health of students.

The schools can either implement programs or provide access to problems that help students sort out their stress load. In the age of the internet, this could be as simple as posting a brochure with a web address on a bulletin board.

Parents and friends of the students can take the initiative to reassure the student that they're cared for and loved. If the students are young, toddlers even, then we have the perfect chance to teach them how to handle and direct anger in productive ways.

And as the old saying goes, you can lead a horse to water...

Students that are under intense pressure need to accept the help once it's offered. Nobody can force you to get help. There's no shame in seeking aid. It isn't a sign of weakness.

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The High-Risk Status of High-Achieving Students

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Aiming high is a priority for many families that want to secure a future for their children, and some try to get their foot in the door in high-ranking schools as early as possible. Such schools are difficult to get into and even more difficult to pass.

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Supporting Your Child's Mental Health at Home

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Supporting Your Child's Mental Health at Home

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From National Association of School Psychologists

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National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)

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Create a sense of belonging. Feeling connected and welcomed is essential to children's positive adjustment, self-identification, and sense of trust in others and themselves. Building strong, positive relationships among students, school staff, and parents is important to promoting mental wellness.

Promote resilience. Adversity is a natural part of life and being resilient is important to overcoming challenges and good mental health. Connectedness, competency, helping others, and successfully facing difficult situations can foster resilience.

Develop competencies.Children need to know that they can overcome challenges and accomplish goals through their actions.Achieving academic success and developing individual talents and interests helps children feel competent and more able to deal with stress positively. Social competency is also important. Having friends and staying connected to friends and loved ones can enhance mental wellness.

Ensure a positive, safe school environment. Feeling safe is critical to students' learning and mental health. Promote positive behaviors such as respect, responsibility, and kindness. Prevent negative behaviors such as bullying and harassment. Provide easily understood rules of conduct and fair discipline practices and ensure an adult presence in common areas, such as hallways, cafeterias, locker rooms, and playgrounds. Teach children to work together to stand up to a bully, encourage them to reach out to lonely or excluded peers, celebrate acts of kindness, and reinforce the availability of adult support.

Teach and reinforce positive behaviors and decision making. Provide consistent expectations and support. Teaching children social skills, problem solving, and conflict resolution supports good mental health. "Catch" them being successful. Positive feedback validates and reinforces behaviors or accomplishments that are valued by others.

Encourage helping others. Children need to know that they can make a difference. Pro-social behaviors build self-esteem, foster connectedness, reinforce personal responsibility, and present opportunities for positive recognition. Helping others and getting involved in reinforces being part of the community.

Encourage good physical health. Good physical health supports good mental health. Healthy eating habits, regular exercise and adequate sleep protect kids against the stress of tough situations. Regular exercise also decreases negative emotions such as anxiety, anger, and depression.

Educate staff parents and students on symptoms of and help for mental health problems. Information helps break down the stigma surrounding mental health and enables adults and students recognize when to seek help. School mental health professionals can provide useful information on symptoms of problems like depression or suicide risk. These can include a change in habits, withdrawal, decreased social and academic functioning, erratic or changed behavior, and increased physical complaints.

Ensure access to school-based mental health supports. School psychologists, counselors, and social workers can provide a continuum of mental health services for students ranging from universal mental wellness promotion and behavior supports to staff and parent training, identification and assessment, early interventions, individual and group counseling, crisis intervention, and referral for community services.

Provide a continuum of mental health services.School mental health services are part of a continuum of mental health care for children and youth. Build relationships with community mental health resources. Be able to provide names and numbers to parents.

Establish a crisis response team. Being prepared to respond to a crisis is important to safeguarding students' physical and mental well-being. School crisis teams should include relevant administrators, security personnel and mental health professionals who collaborate with community resources. In addition to safety, the team provides mental health prevention, intervention, and postvention services.

© 2017, National Association of School Psychologists, 4340 East West Highway, Suite 402, Bethesda, MD 20814, 301-657-0270, www.nasponline.org

Contributor: Katherine C. Cowan

Please cite this document as:

National Association of School Psychologists. (2017). Supporting children's mental health: Tips for parents and educators [Handout]. Bethesda, MD: Author.

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Supporting Children's Mental Health: Tips for Parents and Educators

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Create a sense of belonging. Feeling connected and welcomed is essential to children's positive adjustment, self-identification, and sense of trust in others and themselves. Building strong, positive relationships among students, school staff, and parents is important to promoting mental wellness. Promote resilience.

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Positive Behavior Interventions and Supports at home.

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(2020, March 31) | Useful for sharing with families to support positive behavior.

This 8-page brief speaks directly to parents about how to use positive behavioral interventions and supports (PBIS) at home, an approach used in over 25,000 schools as a highly effective way to build children's social-emotional-behavioral skills and reduce challenging behaviors. The publication is a collaboration between the Center on Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports (PBIS) and the Center for Parent Information and Resources (CPIR), and is a direct response to current stay-in-place policies and school closures resulting from the COVID-19 pandemic.

The recommendations in the brief start with setting routines. Examples are given as to how to adapt school use of PBIS to home use for both elementary and secondary school routines. Another recommendation is to set home expectations of behavior. Again, examples are given of how expectations at school can be adapted to expectations at home. A third recommendation focuses on emphasizing positive feedback over correcting behavior (rule of thumb: aim for a ratio of 5 positive to 1 corrective). This recommendation includes strategies such as reminding children about expectations before an activity and rewarding positive behaviors. Additional recommendations are given about communicating with the school, being creative, and modeling good behavior and well-being.

For your convenience, you can access the brief right here at CPIR:
https://www.parentcenterhub.org/wp-content/uploads/repo_items/supporting-families-pbis-at-home-final.pdf

The brief is also available at the the Center on PBIS.

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Looking for more information and resources on COVID-19, official guidance from the federal government and others, schooling at home, technology tools, or coping tips? Visit our page on Coronavirus Resources. We update the list constantly.

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(2020, March 31) | Useful for sharing with families to support positive behavior. This 8-page brief speaks directly to parents about how to use positive behavioral interventions and supports (PBIS) at home, an approach used in over 25,000 schools as a highly effective way to build children's social-emotional-behavioral skills and reduce challenging behaviors.

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What Parents Should Know

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THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) is the most well-known component of marijuana, and it is the one that "gets you high," so to speak. But have you heard of CBD? Many parents haven't, or even if they have, they aren't sure what to make of it or even understand if their son or daughter is using CBD. What's certain is that it's becoming more and more available, and, like vaping, is often marketed to young people. Below is an overview of CBD, the numerous forms it's sold in, its efficacy in treating various problems and current knowledge about its relative safety.

CBD, short for cannabidiol, is the largest non-psychoactive component of marijuana, and interest in its effects is growing. The CBD industry has started to expand and market their products as "life promoting" to healthy individuals.

There are hundreds of online companies selling CBD, with the market estimated to grow to $2.1 billion in 2020. CBD tinctures, edibles, sprays, vaping liquid, capsules and items such as gels, hand lotions and shampoos are widely available, varying in price and CBD content.

Some of these products are illegal, while others can be purchased in supermarkets and health stores by anyone. The legality of CBD varies by state, often based upon whether it is hemp-derived or marijuana-derived. Hemp and marijuana both originate from the cannabis plant, but cannabis crops grown for their flowers have high THC levels, while when grown for their fibers and stalks are usually called hemp. Regardless of how CBD is derived, it's best to check your state laws with respect to legality as it's a rapidly changing landscape.

Why is CBD so interesting to young people?

The U.S. in general is becoming increasingly interested in CBD because of its ability to produce the medicinal benefits of cannabis without the high. It's seen as a potential medicine without the side effects typically associated with marijuana - especially for cancer, serious chronic pain and epilepsy. For the first time, the FDA approved a new drug based upon CBD derived from marijuana called Epidiolex in June 2018. It provides patients with a concentrated dose of CBD to treat seizures in rare forms of epilepsy.

Teens and young adults are using CBD as a homeopathic remedy for pain, depression and anxiety symptoms, acne and insomnia, and for boosting productivity. However, there are significant differences between CBD that's studied in labs for medical conditions like epilepsy and CBD products that are sold to consumers for well-being.

The biggest problem with CBD is that there is a lack of well-controlled trials and little understanding of the long-term effects. Further, the trials are focused on the action and benefits of the purified CBD compound, not an extract of CBD, which is typically found in commercial products. CBD products are for the most part unregulated, so users have to rely on the quality assurances of the companies that manufacture and sell them.

CBD does not appear to be dangerous in and of itself for short-term use, but many CBD products contain dangerous chemicals or synthetic CBD oil. For example, there were 52 cases of serious adverse effects including seizures, loss of consciousness, vomiting, nausea and altered mental status in Utah from 2017 to 2018 after people ingested a CBD product. Surprisingly, no CBD was found in blood samples, only 4-cyano CUMYL-BUTINACA (4-CCB), or fake CBD oil. There aren't any known brands that include harmful ingredients, but many producers do not test their products in labs or share how they are produced. It's difficult to know what you are getting.

For the most part, side effects from CBD alone are minor (dry mouth, dizziness, nausea), but they can be serious if the CBD products interact with other medications. CBD and other plant cannabinoids can interact with many pharmaceuticals by hindering the activity of cytochrome P450, a group of liver enzymes, so other drugs don't metabolize as expected. Steroids, antihistamines, calcium channel blockers, immune modulators, benzodiazepines, antibiotics, anesthetics, antipsychotics, antidepressants, anti-epileptics and beta blockers could all potentially cause an adverse reaction when taken with CBD.

How would I know if my kid is using CBD?

It may be hard to know if your child is consuming CBD because of the minimal side effects and absence of a psychoactive effect. If you learn that your child is using CBD without a doctor's or your permission, you should question it, and may even want to discuss the health impacts of it with your child's doctor.

The World Health Organization declared CBD non-addictive, writing, "In humans, CBD exhibits no effects indicative of any abuse or dependence potential." They do not, however, recommend consumption. While CBD does not appear to be harmful by itself, CBD producers are largely unregulated, so it's difficult to know what is in products and the level of CBD concentration. Further, it may be worth questioning product claims in terms of capabilities as there are few studies demonstrating effectiveness for the host of problems CBD allegedly addresses. Finally, if it isn't hemp-derived, it may be illegal in your state.

The bottom line is that if you're a concerned parent, the best thing to do is to talk with your child about CBD just like about any other substance. Start a conversation about why they're interested in it, how it makes them feel and why they feel the need to use it. Come from a place of understanding and patience, and work to help your son or daughter make healthy decisions.

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What Parents Should Know About Kids Using CBD

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THC (tetrahydrocannabinol) is the most well-known component of marijuana, and it is the one that "gets you high," so to speak. But have you heard of CBD? Many parents haven't, or even if they have, they aren't sure what to make of it or even understand if their son or daughter is using CBD.

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National Alliance on Mental Illness - family support.

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Learn about NAMI Family-to-Family, a free, 8-session educational program for family, significant others and friends of people living with mental illness.

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How to Promote Your Child's Mental Health and Well-being

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How to Promote Your Child's Mental Health and Well-being

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In the midst of hectic schedules, remembering to take care of our emotional well-being sometimes falls to the bottom of our priority list. This is especially true for children, who aren't yet aware of how important their mental health is. Even with exposure to this concept, mental health is complex and overwhelming. While trying to navigate the trials and tribulations of growing up, expecting your child to be mindful of fitting in mental health promotion into their day can be a reach.

Nearly of children in the US have a diagnosable mental health condition - an emotional or behavioral disorder that gets in the way of them living their best life and reaching their full potential. And, some suggest that these numbers are increasing. Now more than ever, there is a clear need for taking precaution with your child's mental health , which can begin with their personal routine.

Healthy routines build coping skills and mindsets that promote resiliency as children develop. Think of these positive, early habits as "vaccinations" for the soul; they can help prevent or ameliorate a more serious mental health condition from developing.

Since the concept of self-care is still too complicated for most children to understand, it's important for parents and other adult caregivers to figure out ways to seamlessly incorporate it into their week. There are a variety of activities that you and your child can do that provide significant mind and body benefits without feeling like an intense, therapeutic routine..
1.) Create a Winning Family Routine
Children crave structure and a successful family contributes to the well being of the entire household. Routines give children a sense of security and predictability limits anxiety, making transitions throughout the day easier and limiting power struggles. Regular daily routines that emphasize consistent wake up, eating, homework, bedtime, play, and chore schedules will provide the structure they need to understand and predict their world.

One of the overlooked elements of family routines for children, however, is building in "slow down" time. And regular, built in "slow down" time during the day allows children to learn how to make mindful choices. Even the youngest of children can integrate mindfulness into their "slow down" time with activities like yoga and deep breathing, routines that can help wire their brain for success .
2.) Focus on Sleep
is one of the most crucial ingredients for learning, performance and mental health and good sleep starts with a consistent and early bedtime. The hours of sleep before midnight lend themselves to more deep non-REM sleep, making them much more beneficial for young children, so sticking with an early bedtime of 7-8pm provides children with more deep sleep and higher levels of concentration the next day. Sleep deprivation is a huge contributor of mental health issues for children, especially teenagers. Even the typical teenager requires 9 hours of sleep each night, and while activities may dictate the need for a slightly later bedtime, ensuring a full night of rest will go a long way in helping teenagers' mood and academic performance .
3.) Get healthy together 4.) When in doubt, write it out
For some, verbalizing emotions can difficult. This could be due to an inability to understand how to articulate certain, confusing feelings, or just because saying them aloud is intimidating and vulnerable.

Identifying and expressing feelings is something that needs to be , and this can be acquired as early as age 3. Helping children to verbalize emotions is as simple as teaching feeling words and discussing the emotions of characters in your child's favorite stories. These simple strategies can go a long way in benefitting your child's social relationships and help seeking behaviors . Children who use emotion-related words were found to be better-liked by their classmates . And the ability to use words to express emotions gives young children a valuable tool in gaining the assistance or social support of others .

J ournaling is an excellent practice to introduce to your child around the age of 6-7 , as it provides a private space in which they can write out their thoughts and work through them. Expressive writing like journaling helps to manage and reduce stress by allowing your child to map out their emotions and make sense of what they are experiencing. This can help them explore solutions to their life challenges and prioritize certain aspects that are causing them the most stress.
5.) Express yourself (creatively)
is a practice that is both mentally and physically Art therapy beneficial to individuals of all ages. Through creativity, the practice enables your child to reconnect with their emotions and work towards understanding them. This provides significant cognitive support, leading to stronger mental health, as well as physical benefits due to its relaxing properties. Practices like painting, coloring, or molding clay won't appear as a chore to your child, motivating them to work on their mental health!

Bring music into the mix: encouraging your child to practice creating music, whether it be through songwriting or playing an instrument, will help with cognitive development, which can lead to a greater sense of self-awareness. Helping your child remain connected with their emotions will make coping with mental health concerns an easier feat.

In general, listening to music can have a tremendously positive impact on your child's mental health. Music, through its rhythmic appeal, engages your child's brain, specifically the neocortex, which reduces stress and lowers impulsivity . If your child is struggling with severe anxiety or depressive episodes, play softer or more uplifting music to counter these dips in mood.

Dance: In addition to art and music, expressive therapies such as dance can be impactful resources for your child's mental health promotion. Performing arts serve as powerful outlets for expressing emotion in a healthy and constructive way, and the opportunity to be creative will motivate your child to fit it into their self-care routine. is particularly beneficial due to the brain's response to aerobic exercise. As your child dances through their emotions, they will also be elevating their endorphins, which boosts their mood!

One of the overlooked elements of family routines for children, however, is building in "slow down" time. And regular, built in "slow down" time during the day allows children to learn how to make mindful choices. Even the youngest of children can integrate mindfulness into their "slow down" time with activities like yoga and deep breathing, routines that can help wire their brain for success .

6.) Play to promote mental health
Ample time for "play" is one of the most important ingredients in healthy child (and adult) development. Play provides opportunities to think creatively, engage with others, and regulate impulses.

Regular doses of play that involve physical activity and exercise should be incorporated into your child's routine, as this is an excellent way to tap into endorphins and boost their mood. Engaging in physical activity , especially outdoors, can help your child release stress that may have built up in their body. Taking this time outside in has been found to specifically reduce depression. Carve out time in the week to go on a hike or walk around the neighborhood. If your child prefers to be a part of organized sports, find an opportunity in the area for them to join a league. The socialization will give them additional mental health benefits!
7.) Foster social skills
Just like adults, young people need to feel a sense of belonging in order to thrive. Feeling like you're part of the something larger than oneself is key when it comes to mental health. Some children may fill their cup by having a few close friends, whereas others will feel most alive when engaging regularly in larger group activities. Figure out what works best for your child, recognizing and honoring their particular personality style, strengths and vulnerabilities.

As a parent, you can be mindful of modeling prosocial behavior within your family and community. You can also introduce social skill building activities that may benefit your child. For example, check out this list of 17 evidence-based " " from Gwen Dewar, PhD., of ParentingScience.com. Even if your child appears to have a high Social skills activities for children and teens EQ (social-emotional intelligence quotient), the growing never stops; there's always more to learn about being a thoughtful, compassionate, and connected human being...especially during these times of socio-cultural division and potential for .

Most problems in life cannot be solved with formulae or memorized answers of the type learnt in school. They require the judgment, wisdom and creative ability that come from life experiences. For children, those experiences are embedded in play. -Peter Gray, Ph.D., Bio-Psychologist
8.) Collaborate on screen time
What children are watching and playing also needs to be developmentally appropriate and consistent with your families values. It can be hard to monitor everything your child sees on screen, but there are resources to help you better understand the media your child has access to. Common Sense Media is a comprehensive online resource for parents that rates movies, tv shows and video games by developmental age. It also provides a comprehensive review of the content, including levels of sex, violence, drugs/alcohol references and consumerism, so that you can discuss the content with your child after watching.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends creating a "Family Media Plan" - a joint collaboration among caregivers and children that reflects on the pros and cons of media usage as individuals and a family. You can try their free tools known as "Create Your Family Media Plan" and "Media Time Calculator" at healthychildren.org .
In Conclusion
Talk to your child to introduce the concept of self-care and explore what types of activities they'd like to include in their routine. Creating a routine of self-care activities that they look forward to doing is key to encouraging them to place their mental health first!

We also recommend that you regularly consult with your family doctor, child's teachers, and other key figures in their life on how they're doing and ways to enhance their mental well-being. Below is some additional, important information from the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH) about children and mental health.

"** Children and Mental Health - Points to Remember (from the )

Always seek immediate help if a child engages in unsafe behavior or talks about wanting to hurt him or herself or someone else.

Seek help when a child's behavior or emotional difficulties last for more than a few weeks and are causing problems at school, at home, or with friends.

A thorough evaluation can help determine if treatment is necessary, and which treatments may be most effective.

Early treatment can help address a child's current difficulties and can also help prevent more serious problems in the future.

When to Seek Help

Even under the best of circumstances, it can be hard to tell the difference between challenging behaviors and emotions that are consistent with typical child development and those that are cause for concern. It is important to remember that many disorders like anxiety, attention deficit hyperactivity disorder and depression, do occur during childhood. In fact, many adults who seek treatment reflect back on how these disorders affected their childhood and wish that they had received help sooner. In general, if a child's behavior persists for a few weeks or longer, causes distress for the child or the child's family, and interferes with functioning at school, at home, or with friends, then consider seeking help. If a child's behavior is unsafe, or if a child talks about wanting to hurt him or herself or someone else, then seek help immediately.

Young children may benefit from an evaluation and treatment if they:

Have frequent tantrums or are intensely irritable much of the time

Often talk about fears or worries

Complain about frequent stomach aches or headaches with no known medical cause

Are in constant motion and cannot sit quietly ( when they are watching videos or playing video games)

Sleep too much or too little, have frequent nightmares, or seem sleepy during the day

Are not interested in playing with other children or have difficulty making friends

Struggle academically or have experienced a recent decline in grades

Repeat actions or check things many times out of fear that something bad may happen.

Older children and adolescents may benefit from an evaluation if they:

Have lost interest in things that they used to enjoy

Have low energy

Sleep too much or too little, or seem sleepy throughout the day

Are spending more and more time alone, and avoid social activities with friends or family

Fear gaining weight, or diet or exercise excessively

Engage in self-harm behaviors (e.g., cutting or burning their skin)

Smoke, drink, or use drugs

Engage in risky or destructive behavior alone or with friends

Have thoughts of suicide

Have periods of highly elevated energy and activity, and require much less sleep than usual

Say that they think someone is trying to control their mind or that they hear things that other people cannot hear.

First Steps for Parents

If you are concerned about your child, where do you begin?

Talk with your child's teacher. What is the child's behavior like in school, daycare, or on the playground?

Talk with your child's pediatrician. Describe the behavior, and report what you have observed and learned from talking with others.

Ask for a referral to a mental health professional who has experience and expertise dealing with children.**"

**Source: https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/children-and-mental-health/index.shtml#pub2
Contributor: this article was a collaboration between Jumo Health and HealthyPsych. Jumo Health is an organization based in London and NYC, that produces health resources for children and families in 50 countries and 30 languages. Disclaimer: the content provided here and throughout HealthyPsych.com is for informational purposes only and is not intended as medical advice. Please consult directly with your medical provider on your specific needs. Our full disclaimer and terms of use can be found here: Terms of Use.

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Self-Care for Kids: 8 Practical Ways to Promote your Child's Mental Health on a Daily Basis

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In the midst of hectic schedules, remembering to take care of our emotional well-being sometimes falls to the bottom of our priority list. This is especially true for children, who aren't yet aware of how important their mental health is. Even with exposure to this concept, mental health is complex and overwhelming.

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Programs for Psychiatric and Behavioral Disorders

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Help for those with no behavioral health insurance in Tennessee.

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Help for the Uninsured: Behavioral Health Safety Net

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If you are 3 years of age or older, have a qualifying mental health diagnosis, and have no behavioral health insurance, you may qualify for the Behavioral Health Safety Net (BHSN) of TN program.

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NEED HELP NOW?

TN Statewide Crisis Line: 1-855-CRISIS-1
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK

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NEED HELP NOW?
TAP TO CALL

TSPN offers a variety of resources, all available for free order or download. Our materials can also be delivered across the state at no cost. Feel free to explore our offerings via the links below.

The Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network (TSPN) is a statewide organization working tirelessly to eliminate the stigma of suicide. Implementing the Tennessee Strategy for Suicide Prevention as defined by the 2001 National Strategy for Suicide Prevention, our efforts date back twenty years.

Staff and volunteers are often counselors, mental health professionals, physicians, clergy, journalists, social workers, law enforcement personnel as well as survivors of suicide and suicide attempts. Suicide does not discriminate against age, race, means or profession, and we would like our volunteers to be just as diverse in background as the people we strive to reach. Anyone with a passion or even a slight interest in helping those in need should feel free to sign up to be a volunteer or attend a regional meeting.

Through education efforts and events, our goal is to expose as many people as we can to the facts and numbers of suicide - and to debunk the myths. We offer different trainings specialized for business, schools and organizations alike to detect warning and risk factors of suicide. These are FREE sessions and you have the autonomy to choose which one you think will best suit your audience.

We have a plethora of resources on our website as well, everything from downloadable brochures to crisis hotline numbers (855-CRISIS-1) Anyone who is struggling, or just wants to be an educated resource for others, is welcome to share our brochures and specialized initiatives we have access to in the great state of Tennessee. If you are a farmer, veteran, student, or anywhere in between, TSPN and the Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services has resources for you. No one is alone in their struggles.
Central Office Location:
1321 Murfreesboro Pike, #155

Nashville, TN 37217
Office Phone:
615-297-1077
Office Email: tspn@tspn.org
THE 20TH YEAR SYMPOSIUM WILL BE POSTPONED. Check back for...

Each year Suicide Prevention Awareness Month is in September. It is an opportunity to remember those we have lost, celebrate the progress we have made, and re-dedicate ourselves to the cause.

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TSPN - Saving Lives in Tennessee Since 2001

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NEED HELP NOW? TAP TO CALL TSPN offers a variety of resources, all available for free order or download. Our materials can also be delivered across the state at no cost. Feel free to explore our offerings via the links below. The Tennessee Suicide Prevention Network (TSPN) is a statewide organization working tirelessly to eliminate the stigma of suicide.

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The course introduces common mental health challenges for youth, reviews typical adolescent development, and teaches a 5-step action plan for how to help young people in both crisis and non-crisis situations. Topics covered include anxiety, depression, substance use, disorders in which psychosis may occur, disruptive behavior disorders (including AD/HD), and eating disorders.

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To find a course or Instructor near you, enter your location below.

Why Mental Health Matters for Youth

One in five youth will experience a mental health challenge at some point during their life.

17.1 million youth under the age of 18 have or have had a psychiatric disorder - more than the number of children with cancer, diabetes, and AIDS combined.

7.4% of children in the United States have a mental health visit in a given year.

How Youth Mental Health First Aid Can Help

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Youth Mental Health First Aid is primarily designed for adults who regularly interact with young people.

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Learn about child development, milestones and resources.

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KidCentral TN is a one-stop shop for Tennessee families to raise healthy and happy kids. Find parenting tips, track child milestones and access TN state resources.

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Volunteer Behavioral Health - Middle Tennessee

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Volunteer Behavioral Health - Middle Tennessee

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Chidren's services page.

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Outpatient Services

Outpatient services include several treatment components. Individual, family and couples therapy is available as part of outpatient services throughout the Volunteer system. Volunteer has clinical staff trained in family therapy as well as expertise in treatment of marital and relationship issues. Individual therapy is available for children, adolescents and adults. Specialized group therapy is available at several locations. These include groups addressing attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, depression, anger management and sexual offender treatment. Providers are trained in several evidence-based practices including Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TF_CBT) and Attachment, Self-Regulation and Competency (ARC).

Evaluation and Assessment Services

Evaluation services are available to children and adolescents throughout the Volunteer service area. Specific services include psychological evaluations, parenting assessments, alcohol and drug assessments and sexual offender assessments. We also provide consultation and evaluation services for local school systems and work with families to ensure appropriate mental health evaluations are administered.

Court Ordered Evaluations

Local juvenile court systems often look to Volunteer Behavioral Health Care Services clinical staff to provide evaluation services for children and adolescents involved in the court system. We provide psychological evaluations, competency evaluations and assessments of mental status as well as substance abuse. These services assist judges and court officers in planning for the care of the children and adolescents under their jurisdiction. Clinical staff who specialize in forensic evaluations work closely with the court systems in our area in providing these services. Court ordered evaluations are available in each county served by Volunteer Behavioral Health Care Services.

Child and Adolescent Case Management

Case management services for children and adolescents provide the entire family system with support, linkage, referral, and advocacy. The case manager's role is to assist the family in accessing services, managing crisis and maintaining the least restrictive environment for the child/adolescent being served. Case management is a family-centered, strengths-based model specifically for families with children who are seriously emotionally disturbed.

Specialized Psychiatric Services

Many times children require medications to assist with managing emotional problems. Volunteer's medical team consists of several experts in the field of child and adolescent psychiatry. The medical team includes registered nurses, nurse practitioners and psychiatrists.

Telehealth

Telehealth is an innovative way to ensure easy access to medical personnel. Telehealth is a direct connection to physicians and medical staff within our system from all locations within Volunteer's 11,000 square miles of coverage area. The telehealth program provides psychiatric coverage to rural counties and enables the medical team to consult with one another on a regular basis.

Project AFFIRM

Project AFFIRM is a planned respite program for families with children who have serious emotional disturbances. The program provides families with break time and support, as well as the development of behavioral management skills with the children. The program model provides short-term relief as well as teaching an empowerment model to parents which assists the families in accessing community supports for longer-term respite care.

Volunteer also provides state technical assistance and training to all state contracted planned respite programs throughout Tennessee.

Regional Intervention Program (RIP)

RIP is a nationally recognized model for assisting families with learning behavior management skills. RIP is a grant funded program providing parents with opportunities to learn and practice skills in a supportive environment. The program is designed for families with children under six years of age who are experiencing behavioral problems.

Volunteer also houses the Regional Intervention Program State Coordinator. The position provides training, consultation and programmatic guidance to RIP programs throughout the state.

Project Basic (Better Attitudes and Skills in Children)

Project Basic is a school-based mental health early intervention and prevention program. This grant-funded program provides Child Development Specialists in elementary schools. The program targets students from kindergarten to third grade, providing early identification and intervention, teacher consultation and classroom programming to promote positive attitudes and mental health wellness concepts. Families with students at high risk of emotional disturbances are linked to community services and treatment services.

School-based Counseling

School-based counseling provides mental health counseling services for children and adolescents in the school setting. Individual therapy, family consultation and school staff consultation is provided for targeted children and adolescents within a specific school location.

Adolescent Day Treatment

The Endeavor Program in Cookeville is a structured adolescent day treatment and school program for adolescents between the ages of 13 to 18. The program provides a structured treatment component for adolescents experiencing addiction or co-occurring mental illness and addiction. The treatment activities include groups and Individual counseling to enhance understanding of addiction and co-occurring disorders. Individual needs are addressed and cognitive behavioral therapy is used to improve coping skills. The Endeavor program's educational component ensures that participants continue making academic progress while in the program.

Grundy Safe Communities Coalition

The mission of Grundy Safe Communities Coalition (Grundy County) is to be united together to establish a safe, caring, drug-free community that supports youth and families. The program serves youth 18 and under. This grant focuses on: reducing the underage drinking rate, the rates of tobacco use among youth and reducing non-medical prescription drug abuse rate in the Grundy County. For more information contact grundysafecommunities@gmail.com or (931) 592-2923. This project is funded by the Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services (TDMHSAS).

For more information and resources on behavioral health for children please visit: https://kidcentraltn.com/

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Volunteer Behavioral Health Care Services

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Outpatient services include several treatment components. Individual, family and couples therapy is available as part of outpatient services throughout the Volunteer system. Volunteer has clinical staff trained in family therapy as well as expertise in treatment of marital and relationship issues. Individual therapy is available for children, adolescents and adults.

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Tennessee Comprehensive School-Based Mental Health Resource Guide

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Tennessee Comprehensive School-Based Mental Health Resource Guide

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The Tennessee Comprehensive School-Based Mental Health Resource Guide was developed based on lessons learned through the Project AWARE (Advancing Wellness and Resiliency in Education) Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) grant.

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Cite this

American Psychological Association. (2019, August 27). Talking with your children about stress. http://www.apa.org/topics/stress/talking

According to APA's annual Stress in America survey, many Americans-both adults and youth-report experiencing significant stress. While some stress is part of everyday life and sometimes helps motivate us to take action, adults can more readily identify feelings and causes of significant stress, and consider ways to manage it.

Young people, however, may not recognize signs of stress or know how to respond and cope effectively. Parents can offer valuable assistance and provide empathy and understanding. By knowing what to listen to and watch for and by seeking out opportunities to engage in conversation with children of all ages, parents can help their children to better handle life challenges.

APA offers these tips on talking with your children about stress:

Be available

Notice times when your kids are most likely to talk-for example, at bedtime, before dinner, in the car-and be fully available to just listen.

Start the conversation; it lets your kids know you care about what's happening in their lives. Find time each week for a one-on-one activity with each child, and avoid scheduling other activities during that time.

Learn about your children's interests-for example, favorite music and activities-and show interest in them.

Initiate conversations by sharing what you have been thinking about, or what other kids may be thinking about, rather than beginning a conversation with a question.

Listen actively

When your children are talking about concerns, stop whatever you are doing and listen.

Express interest in what they are saying without being intrusive.

Listen to their point of view, even if it's difficult to hear.

Let them complete their point before you respond.

Repeat what you heard them say to ensure that you understand them correctly.

Realize that your children may test you by telling you a small part of what is bothering them. Listen carefully to what they say, encourage them to talk, and they may share the rest of the story, especially if you are empathic and avoid teaching early in the discussion.

Respond thoughtfully

Soften strong reactions-kids will tune you out if you appear angry, defensive or judgmental.

Express your opinion without minimizing theirs-acknowledge that it's healthy to disagree sometimes.

Resist arguing about who is right. Instead say, "I know you disagree with me, but this is what I think."

Focus on your child's feelings rather than your own during your conversation.

Ask your children what they may want or need from you in a conversation, such as advice, help in dealing with feelings, or assistance in solving a problem.

Consider

Kids learn by watching their parents. Most often, they will follow your lead in how they deal with anger, solve problems, and work through difficult feelings. Help your kids adopt healthy coping strategies by modeling positive behaviors.

Engage the family in stress-reducing activities, such as taking a family walk, riding bikes, or dancing together.

Young children may express feelings of stress or worry in their play. Pay attention to themes in their conversations and activities to gain a good sense of their concerns. Teens and older children are often more involved with peers than family as part of developing their own identity. Significant avoidance of parents, however, may be a sign that a teen is distressed and may need assistance.

Kids learn from their own choices. As long as the consequences are not dangerous to themselves or others, don't feel you have to step in each time.

Shielding children from serious causes of stress or anxiety, such as unemployment, a parent's marital problems, or an illness in the family, can worsen a child's anxiety because children commonly assume a worst-case scenario. Help by providing age-appropriate information.

Seek additional help

If you have concerns that your child is experiencing considerable stress and the tips are not sufficient, seek advice from a licensed mental health professional such as a psychologist. Psychologists have specific training that can help both you and your child successfully manage overwhelming stress.

This tip sheet was made possible with help from APA members Mary Alvord, PhD, and David J. Palmiter, Jr., PhD, ABPP.

The full text of articles from APA Help Center may be reproduced and distributed for noncommercial purposes with credit given to the American Psychological Association. Any electronic reproductions must link to the original article on the APA Help Center. Any exceptions to this, including excerpting, paraphrasing or reproduction in a commercial work, must be presented in writing to the APA. Images from the APA Help Center may not be reproduced.

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Cite this American Psychological Association. (2019, August 27). Talking with your children about stress. http://www.apa.org/topics/stress/talking According to APA's annual Stress in America survey, many Americans-both adults and youth-report experiencing significant stress. While some stress is part of everyday life and sometimes helps motivate us to take action, adults can more readily identify feelings and causes of significant stress, and consider ways to manage it.

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Educating parents and youth about the dangers of vaping.

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California Tobacco Control Program - English

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The Health Effects of Vaping on Teens | Learn More | Flavors Hook Kids

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Learn about the dangers and health effects of vaping and how nicotine within flavored tobacco is impacting our youth. Brought to you by the California Department of Public Health.

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Creating a safe nest for students.

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"This is my new mission for schools. It's not that unreasonable or outside the realm of possibility, is it? As educators, we have an obligation to provide an opportunity for all students - each and every single one of them - to learn and grow and become the best they can be. I want every adult in education to see all kids and each other as competent, special, and awesome! The demands on educators are ridiculously high, and it remains our responsibility to ensure that every child has an opportunity to learn in a safe and caring environment.

Many of us would agree that our systems are less than ideal; indeed, some might argue they're downright busted. While well intended in their design, our systems - education, mental health, medical, family services, legal, and others - are not equipped with the resources or the vision to truly achieve what is needed. No matter which of these fields you're in, your jobs are difficult and challenging and, at times, overwhelming. Many of you are underappreciated and not acknowledged for the hard work that you do. That gets old and is tiring.

I am here to tell you that we can change that. We may not be able to change systems overnight; however,we can make a difference every day in the lives of those we serve." (RRR, pg 1)

The reality is this does not just apply to education professionals. It applies to all of us... parents, early learning providers, first responders, mental health professionals, medical personnel, community members and anyone what has a heart and a wish to support human. I am excited to share that our work, while still dedicated to supporting our students and education professionals, is expanding to serve all of our community members. It takes all of us to ensure that we are doing the best we can for everyone! Please have patience with me as I am in the process of updating our website. Thank you for visiting our site. Click on the tabs above to explore all that we have to offer. Thank you for the belief in this work and for your support!

~Kristin Van Marter Souers

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FOSTERING RESILIENCE: PROFESSIONAL LEARNING AND SUPPORT THAT MAKES A DIFFERENCE

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Supporting Your Child With an Eating Disorder

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Supporting Your Child With an Eating Disorder

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When a healthy child gets sick, parents can usually find a fairly simple answer: Tylenol, amoxicillin, cough medicine. But when your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder, parents face a problem for which there is no immediate fix. Caring for and supporting your child with an eating disorder can be confusing and scary.

Parents attempting to support their child with an eating disorder may struggle with a sense of helplessness and frustration when unable to quickly restore their child's health. While responsible for your child, you are not fully in control. Ultimately, it is up to your child to choose recovery. As parents, your task is to create an environment of support and information for your child, so they can begin to take responsibility for their own well-being.

But what if your child is not ready to self-motivate, and their health is in critical condition?

Sometimes the priority must be stabilizing a child at a treatment facility or medical providers, to manage the dire physical repercussions of starvation or purging. But medical stabilization is only the first step in the healing process.

Once your child's physical health has been addressed, a long road still lies ahead. Psychological and emotional healing does not necessarily happen in tandem with the physical restoration. Parents often feel an understandable impatience at this point, and an urge to accelerate and steer this stretch of the journey. But you must accept what they cannot do-i.e. "fix the problem"-while recognizing all the ways you can be supportive as their child undertakes one of the most challenging and scary tasks: letting go of their eating disorder.

One parent with adolescent recovering from an eating disorder took refuge in the serenity prayer: "Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
What You Can Do

1. Get Informed: It is hard to have empathy about something that feels foreign, so familiarize yourself with eating disorders. Seek out information, get educated. Research the experts in the field. Find approaches that resonate with you. Then share this information with your child so they can understand the ramifications of the eating disorder. If they hear it enough, they may begin to understand, and decide to turn towards health.

2. Connect: Turn to your co-parent, or another family member or loved one, to discuss decisions and vent. The irritability, explosions, despair, and/or silence that your adolescent may exhibit when in the throws of their eating disorder can be baffling, heartbreaking, and infuriating for you as a parent. It is important to have someone to talk with about your feelings, as well as to feel a sense of partnership in making decisions.

3. Prioritize Self-Care: Remember the oxygen mask on an airplane technique: you can only effectively care for your child when your own needs are being met. Eat balanced meals. Get appropriate amounts of sleep and exercise. Engage in activities that feel nourishing and joyful for you. Model a healthy lifestyle for your child.

4. Practice Compassion: Offer yourself and your child compassion. Guilt, blame, and shame do not create the gentle conditions that best serve healing. Frame the unhealthy behaviors your child engages in not as "bad behavior" that warrants reprimand or punishment, but as symptoms of a disorder that reflect the pain they feel inside, and call for love and solace.

5. Cultivate Trust: Give your child every opportunity to trust you. Your child is likely experiencing tremendous shame about their eating disorder, which compels them to retreat into silence and not speak their truth. Let your child know they can tell you when they purge or are feeling fear about eating, and that you are trying to understand-even if you cannot ever fully understand. It is so important for a child to feel safe to describe aloud their fear and pain. Speaking truth takes the power away from the eating disorder, which thrives in secrecy and silence.

6. Believe in Recovery: It is imperative for parents to believe recovery is possible. While it is not going to be easy or linear-your child likely will make progress and then fall into unhealthy patterns again-that is just part of the long journey of recovery. Model for your child an unwavering faith that they have the courage and strength to attain health, and that stumbles are not signs of failure. Especially in times of setback, it is crucial to offer unconditional support and emphasize your belief that recovery is within reach.

Supporting your child with an eating disorder can be challenging. If you are struggling to help your child suffering with an eating disorder, please consider reaching out to us for help. We offer support for parents. We help care for your child - in college, still at home, even as young as 12 years old.

Resources:

Parent "Tool Kit" from the National Eating Disorder Association:
http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/sites/default/files/Toolkits/ParentToolkit.pdf
Your Dieting Daughter: Antidotes Parents can Provide for Body Satisfaction, Excessive Dieting, and Disordered Eating by Carolyn Costin

8 Keys to Recovery from an Eating Disorder by Carolyn Costin and Gwen Schubert Grabb

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Parents: Supporting Your Child With an Eating Disorder - Eating Disorder Recovery Specialists

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When a healthy child gets sick, parents can usually find a fairly simple answer: Tylenol, amoxicillin, cough medicine. But when your child is diagnosed with an eating disorder, parents face a problem for which there is no immediate fix. Caring for and supporting your child with an eating disorder can be confusing and scary.

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Prevention tips for teen eating disorders

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How to talk to your teen about eating disorders and promote a healthy lifestyle for the entire family.

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How to Help a Child With an Eating Disorder

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How to Help a Child With an Eating Disorder

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Psycom.net - Mental Health Treatment Resource Since 1986

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Perhaps the biggest challenge of being a parent is letting your child learn to make decisions for themselves as they grow and learn. Sometimes these decisions cause real harm to a child's body and mind. Parents with a child with an eating disorder face a particularly difficult challenge, as they must keep their child healthy and alive while also empowering them to learn to care for their body and mind.

Parents are often quick to blame themselves when a child develops an eating disorder like anorexia, bulimia, or binge-eating disorder. But the causes of eating disorders are very complicated, typically including genetic, psychological, environmental, and sociocultural factors. Kids are at increased risk if they already have a mental illness or if they experience environmental emphases on dieting and the ideal body shape. ¹ What's most important, however, is that the parent is a willing and dedicated participant in the treatment process.

It's imperative that parents take eating disorders seriously because they have a higher rate of mortality than any other mental illness. 20% of people with chronic anorexia nervosa will die because of their condition, and people with bulimia and binge-eating disorder face similar risks. ² Most people think of teenage girls when they imagine eating disorders, but it's important to remember that young children and boys are also at risk. Early intervention increases the rate of recovery greatly. So if you're on the fence about whether your child has a problem, it's best to consult with a professional.

Signs Your Child Has an Eating Disorder

fear of gaining weight

distorted sense of body image

preoccupation with food

fluctuations in weight

refusing to eat in front of others

excessive exercising

strange food rituals or behaviors

going to the bathroom after eating

irritability or changes in mood

problems with skin or teeth

weakness and fatigue

thinning of hair³

Finding Treatment for Your Child

If your child is under the age of 18, they can begin treatment even if they don't yet recognize they have an eating disorder. Don't trust your child to evaluate whether they're healthy or not, as people with eating disorders struggle to think objectively about their health and often deny they have a problem. If your child is over 18 and refuses treatment, consider using financial leverage and continued conversations to express your concerns. Medical guardianship must be court-ordered and is difficult to obtain, but sometimes it will be granted in life-or-death situations.

If you're not sure where to get started, first contact your child's pediatrician for a physical exam and check-up. They can connect you to a professional who will evaluate your child and make a diagnosis as/if appropriate. The type of treatment will depend on your child's current physical condition, whether they are suicidal, how motivated they are to recover, and whether they also suffer from a co-occurring disorder like anxiety, depression, or substance use.

If your child's health is in immediate danger, they may need to be hospitalized to recover physically before they can participate in long-term treatment. If your child's eating disorder is high risk, they may benefit from inpatient treatment where they can be constantly monitored and benefit from intensive counseling services. Intensive outpatient programs or regular counseling with an eating disorder professional may also be the best option. Treatment programs for eating disorders typically involve a combination of medication, individual therapy, family involvement, psychoeducation, and nutrition support.

What You Can Do Today

If you're ready to have a conversation with your child today about their eating disorder, it's imperative to stay calm and first listen to what they have to say. Validate their emotions and repeat back what you've heard. Then share the facts about eating disorders with them, and what you have personally observed of their behaviors. Express how this makes you feel, using "I-statements." Remind them that you love them and share what positive personality traits (not physical ones) you see in them. If you can manage your own anxiety and provide a calm space for your child, they are more likely to hear what you have to say.

Above all, remember that recovery from an eating disorder doesn't happen in a day, and it doesn't happen alone. Eating disorders are treatable, and with the right support, your child can go on to live a full and healthy life.

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Eating Disorders in Children: How to Help a Child with an Eating Disorder

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Perhaps the biggest challenge of being a parent is letting your child learn to make decisions for themselves as they grow and learn. Sometimes these decisions cause real harm to a child's body and mind.

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How to Tell if Your Child Has an Eating Disorder

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How to Tell if Your Child Has an Eating Disorder

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It can be upsetting as a parent to watch your child struggle with an eating disorder. It can leave you feeling confused and frustrated and you may not know where to turn. However, it's important to know that with the right help, children can make a lasting recovery from their eating disorder and you as a parent can play a crucial role in this.

What is an eating disorder?

Eating disorders are complex conditions that cause people to develop severely disrupted eating habits. This isn't just about diet changes or trying to lose a small amount of weight - eating disorders are mental illnesses that can take over someone's life and the lives of the people who are closest to them. Whilst it is true that eating disorders are most common amongst teenage girls, anyone of any gender, age or background can develop an eating disorder.

People suffering from an eating disorder usually have an obsession about their appearance, weight and body shape. This causes them to control or restrict their food intake, leading them to make unhealthy choices about food. These unhealthy behaviours can cause a whole host of long-term psychological and physical problems, and can even be fatal.

What are the different types of eating disorder?

There are a number of different types of eating disorder, each with their own unique features.
Anorexia
People with anorexia are obsessed with being thin, have an irrational fear of gaining weight, and a distorted body image (thinking that they are fat when they are not). People with anorexia try to keep their weight as low as possible and often achieve this by starving themselves and engaging in 'purging' behaviours where they try to remove calories from their body.
Bulimia
People with bulimia tend to binge (eat lots of food in one sitting) and then make themselves sick, abuse laxatives or exercise excessively to try and get rid of the calories consumed (purging). These binge-purge cycles are driven by an obsessive need to control food intake, and can be triggered by stress, anxiety or hunger. Bulimia can be harder to spot than anorexia because often, someone with bulimia stays a 'normal' weight.
Binge eating disorder (BED)
People with binge eating disorder (BED) binge eat on a regular basis, often eating huge amounts of unhealthy food, even when they are not hungry. However, people with BED don't show any purging behaviours, which means that they are likely to become obese.
Eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS)
Eating disorders not otherwise specified (EDNOS), also referred to as atypical eating disorders, can resemble other forms of eating disorder but do not meet the exact requirements in order to receive a formal diagnosis.

What are the signs and symptoms of an eating disorder in children?

The signs and symptoms of eating disorders can vary from person-to-person and also depend on the type of eating disorder. However, if you notice a combination of the following signs in your child, it may be that they have developed, or are starting to develop, an eating disorder.

Behavioural symptoms;

Compulsive or excessive exercising

Unusual behaviour around food e.g. insisting on using certain cutlery, cutting food into tiny pieces

A sudden interest in cooking, but refusing to eat what they have cooked

Wanting to eat alone or in secret

Wearing baggy clothes

Vomiting after eating, or going to the toilet immediately after eating

Eating large quantities of food without appearing to gain weight

Repeatedly weighing themselves

Social isolation

Physical symptoms:

Abnormally low or high weight

Long-term weight stagnation (adolescents typically continue to put on weight until the age of 20)

Exhaustion

Feeling cold

Stomach pains

Dizziness or feeling faint

Mouth infections

Sensitive or damaged teeth

Scars on their fingers, knuckles or the back of their hand from making themselves sick

Bad breath

Psychological symptoms:

Having an obsession with appearance and other people's perception of their body

Talking about feeling guilty after eating

Getting stressed at mealtimes

Low self-esteem

Anger

Intense mood swings

Self-harm

Suicidal thoughts and impulses

Why does my child have an eating disorder?

There are a number of factors that can make children more vulnerable to developing an eating disorder. These include:

Having a close family member with an eating disorder

Having an existing mental health difficulty such as depression or anxiety

Stressful life events

Abuse

Bullying

Pressures at school

Pressure from the media to be thin

Having hobbies where being thin is seen as important, such as dancing or athletics

I think my child has an eating disorder - what are the next steps?

You may find the following steps useful if you think that your child is showing signs of an eating disorder:

Talk to your child - ask if they are OK and if there's anything they want to talk about. If your child doesn't want to talk to you, encourage them to open up to another person that they trust such as another family member or a teacher. Let them know that you're there to listen and support them.

Take them seriously - it can be difficult to understand why someone with an eating disorder behaves the way they do. Some of their issues around food may seem irrational to you but could be a major source of distress for your child. This is why it's crucial to take them seriously and avoid being critical.

Learn about eating disorders - not only will this will help you to understand your child's behaviour, but will also mean that you are able to spot the warning signs. It also lets your child know that you care and are there to help.

Stop the body and food talk - we all talk about dieting, body shape and weight, but this can be a very sensitive subject for someone with an eating disorder. Try to steer conversations away from food.

Seek professional help - it is essential that you seek professional help if you think that your child has an eating disorder. Your child will likely need support to prevent their eating disorder from becoming worse. You can visit your GP to talk through your concerns and worries about your child, and they may refer them for expert treatment at Priory.

Our specialists will be able to answer any queries that you may have, and provide guidance on how we could help your child to overcome their eating disorder and resume the healthy, happy childhood that they deserve. You can also find further information in Priory's Eating Disorders Parent's Guide.

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How to tell if your child has an eating disorder

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It can be upsetting as a parent to watch your child struggle with an eating disorder. It can leave you feeling confused and frustrated and you may not know where to turn. However, it's important to know that with the right help, children can make a lasting recovery from their eating disorder and you as a parent can play a crucial role in this.

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Includes an overview video

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Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University

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Science tells us that some children develop resilience, or the ability to overcome serious hardship, while others do not. Understanding why is crucial.

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The Impact of Mental Health Stigma on Youth

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The Impact of Mental Health Stigma on Youth

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Mental illnesses are common in the United States. As of 2016, nearly 44.7 million adults and one in five U.S youth live with a mental illness.

Unfortunately, there is a long history of stigma related to mental illness in American society and other cultures. According to the Mayo Clinic, the term 'mental illness' is often seen as different from physical illness.

To some, the word 'mental' means the problems are caused by personal choices and actions, not true illness. Others may think the condition is all in someone's head. They may consider people with mental health disorders/illness to be weak and lazy. They should just "get over it."

When in fact a mental health disorder is a condition that disrupts a person's mood, thought or behavior, often for a long period of time.

Any mental illness (AMI) is defined as a mental, behavioral, or emotional disorder. AMI can vary in impact, ranging from no impairment to mild, moderate, and even severe impairment.

Some believe that people with mental health disorders/illness are dangerous and violent. This stigma is often reinforced by the media and crime reports where someone is vaguely referred to as 'mentally ill.'

However, the statistics do not demonstrate a connection between mental illnesses and violence.

Prevalence of Any Mental Illness in Adults?

In 2016, there were an estimated 44.7 million adults aged 18 or older in the United States with AMI. This number represented 18.3% of all U.S. adults.

The prevalence of AMI was higher among women (21.7%) than men (14.5%).

Young adults aged 18-25 years had the highest prevalence of AMI (22.1%) compared to adults aged 26-49 years (21.1%) and aged 50 and older (14.5%).

The prevalence of AMI was highest among the adults reporting two or more races (26.5%), followed by the American Indian/Alaska Native group (22.8%).

The prevalence of AMI was lowest among the Asian group (12.1%).

Source: Statistics retrieved from the National Institute for Mental Health at: http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/statistics/index.shtml

Graph 1 directly above shows the past year prevalence of AMI among U.S. adults.

What mental health disorders are common in our schools today?

Anxiety and Mood Disorders are most common and can affect nearly 5 million youth today.

As a result, when a youth is struggling with their mental health, it is significantly harder to learn.

Teachers, counselors, school medical teams and parents can benefit from being aware of signs and symptoms and how they may impact a youth's attendance, learning, motivation, and performance in the classroom.

Prevalence of Any Mental Illness Among Adolescents

Based on diagnostic interview data from National Comorbidity Survey Adolescent Supplement (NCS-A), The graph below shows lifetime prevalence of any mental disorder among U.S. adolescents aged 13-18.

An estimated 49.5% of adolescents had any mental disorder.

Of adolescents with any mental disorder, an estimated 22.2% had severe impairment. DSM-IV criteria were used to determine impairment.

Source: NIMH NCS-A study page.

Graph 2 directly above shows the lifetime prevalence of AMI among U.S. adults from 2001 - 2004.

What are the consequences of mental illness stigma for youth?

As a result, according to David Anderson, an expert on schools and mental health at the Child Mind Institute, "Kids who suffer from mental health disorders ... inevitably miss out on opportunities for learning and building relationships." The lack of opportunity and relationship building may lead to stigma being placed on them.

Stigma often causes people with diagnosed mental illness to feel ashamed or rejected. Consequently, they may:

Try to pretend nothing is wrong to friends and family

Refuse to seek help or treatment

Be isolated from family or friends

Experience work or school problems or discrimination

Have difficulty finding housing or adequate health coverage Be victims of physical violence or harassment

Ways to fight Mental Health Stigma

Today, the stigma surrounding some mental health disorders is slowly disappearing. There is greater understanding of mental illnesses and the biological basis of most mental health disorders. As causes of mental illnesses and better treatments for them are discovered, stigma may fade even more.

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness here are some ways to combat the stigma of mental health:

In the end, a person with mental illness decides who to tell and how much to tell. Often, after confiding in people they trust, they will find much-needed compassion, support and acceptance.

For more information, check out the National Institute of Mental Health @ https://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

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The Impact of the Mental Health Stigma on Youth

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Mental illnesses are common in the United States. As of 2016, nearly 44.7 million adults and one in five U.S youth live with a mental illness. Unfortunately, there is a long history of stigma related to mental illness in American society and other cultures. According to the Mayo Clinic, the term 'mental illness' is often...

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According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, It doesn't matter how smart teens are or how well they scored on the SAT or ACT. Good judgment isn't something they can excel in, at least not yet.

The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 26. Adolescents are prone to at-risk behavior simply based on their brain development. The diagram below compares an adult and teenager's brain.

In fact, recent research has found that adult and teen brains work differently. Adults think with the prefrontal cortex, the brain's rational part. This is the part of the brain that responds to situations with good judgment and an awareness of long-term consequences. Teens process information with the amygdala. This is the emotional part.

In teen's brains, the connections between the emotional part of the brain and the decision-making center are still developing-and not always at the same rate. That's why when teens have overwhelming emotional input, they can't explain later what they were thinking. They weren't thinking as much as they were feeling.

What's a parent to do?

You're the most important role model your kids have. Sure, their friends are important to them, but the way you behave and fulfill your responsibilities will have a profound and long-lasting effect on your children.

Discussing the consequences of their actions or behavior can help teens link impulsive thinking with facts. This helps the brain make these connections and wires the brain to make this link more often.

Remind your teens that they're resilient and competent. Because they're so focused in the moment, adolescents have trouble seeing they can play a part in changing bad situations. It can help to remind them of times in the past they thought would be devastating, but turned out for the best.

Become familiar with things that are important to your teens. It doesn't mean you have to like hip-hop music, but showing an interest in the things they're involved in shows them they're important to you.

Ask teens if they want you to respond when they come to you with problems, or if they just want you to listen.

Signs of trouble

It's normal for teens to be down or out of sorts for a couple of days. But if you see a significant mood or behavioral change that lasts more than 2 weeks, it could mean something else is going on, such as depression.

If you think your teen could be depressed or struggling with mental health, promptly seek professional treatment for your child. Depression is serious and, if left untreated, can be life-threatening.

Teen need guidance, even though they may think they don't. Understanding their development can help you support them in becoming independent, responsible adults.

Find out more about the Guidelines for Working with At-Risk Youth by checking this previous post.

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According to the University of Rochester Medical Center, It doesn't matter how smart teens are or how well they scored on the SAT or ACT. Good judgment isn't something they can excel in, at least not yet. The rational part of a teen's brain isn't fully developed and won't be until age 26.

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Provides practical tips to help your child respond in healthier ways to stress and anxiety.

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Building Resilience in Children - 20 Practical, Powerful Strategies (Backed by Science) - Hey Sigmund

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Building Resilience in Children, resilience is being able to bounce back from stress, challenge, tragedy, trauma or adversity. please visit our page!

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Connect With Your Teen About Smart and Safe Media Use

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Connect With Your Teen About Smart and Safe Media Use

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​Teens have grown up surrounded by a steady flow of media. TV and movies arrive by cable, satellite, streaming, and on demand. Social media, fun apps, and video games are on tablets and smartphones. Texting is as close as their thumbs. Teens may think they know all about today's media, but they may not know enough about viewing and interacting with media safely and wisely.

As a parent, it is your job to talk with your teen about smart and safe media use.

Balancing the Digital World and Real World

Both traditional and social media can enrich a teen's world with knowledge, create awareness of current events, and promote civic and community involvement. Online video platforms such as FaceTime, Skype, and Google Hangout, along with group text messaging and file sharing sites where several people can work on a document simultaneously, allow students to collaborate on school projects and connect with friends and family far away.

If media use is not carefully managed, however, it can quickly get out-of-hand. According to a Common Sense Media report, 1 in 4 adolescents said they are "constantly connected" to the internet. All that time spent on their smartphones and other devices can use up time needed to engage in activities essential for good health-like enough sleep and exercise-and can negatively impact school performance. See Constantly Connected: Adverse Effects of Media on Children & Teens.

"Doze" and Don'ts

Teens need 8-10 hours of sleep a night, and devices and media use can disrupt both the length and the quality of sleep. Discuss how to avoid "device damage" to good sleep hygiene with your teen:

When using screens in the evening, turn the brightness down, use a blue light filter, and turn them off completely 1 hour before bedtime. The blue light from the TV or mobile screen can interfere with sleep.

Recharge devices overnight-outside the bedroom. Vibrating and audio alerts from incoming messages can keep teens awake. Despite what your teen may tell you, putting a device on silent isn't enough. Your teen may be tempted to use or check his or her device when he or she should be sleeping. The light given off by devices charging at night can also affect sleep quality.

Avoid watching scary movies or playing violent games-especially in the evening.

The Obesity Connection

According to a 2016 American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) technical report, " Children and Adolescents and Digital Media," several studies link more screen time with obesity rates. To scale back this unhealthy effect, coach teens to:

Media and Multitasking

Other times media use should be avoided:

Driving. The National Safety Council estimates more than 1.5 million car accidents are caused by distracted drivers using cell phones each year. And-it's against the law.

Walking. One survey found that 40% of teens have been hit or nearly hit by a car, bike, or motorcycle while walking-often while listening to music, texting, or talking on the phone.

Doing homework. A 2015 research review suggests that multitasking with electronic devices has a negative effect on homework, studying, and grades.

Digitally Distorted Reality

Help your teen understand that images or information on TV, in movies, or shared on social media do not always reflect real life.

Body Image. Media often present unrealistically thin or muscular body images that can contribute to eating disorders or the use of potentially dangerous nutritional supplements.

Risky Behavior. Media may make it seem like everybody is on board with certain risky activities. Consequences such as pregnancy, sexually transmitted infections, and substance abuse rarely are shown. In reality, most (59%) of U.S. high school students surveyed by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) have never had sex, for example, and 2016 National Institute on Drug Abuse data show the rate of teens reporting they had "been drunk" in the past year at historic lows.

Violence. Many violent acts in the media are committed by characters otherwise shown as role models, but viewers rarely see the long-term physical and emotional suffering violence can cause. Presented as entertainment, virtual violence has been shown to increase real-life violence, aggressive thoughts and behavior, and angry feelings (see How Virtual Violence Impacts Children's Behavior: Steps for Parents). Despite these research findings, according to an AAP policy statement, most people assume they are immune to this effect.

Stereotypes. Harmful stereotypes are less common than they once were in the media, but they still show up. Suggest teens compare images of diverse populations they see in the media with people they know in real life and consider how accurate or inaccurate those images are. Ask how he or she would feel as a victim of discrimination or prejudice. See Talking to Children About Racial Bias.

Digital Citizenship and Media Literacy

Make sure teens are aware that people may not always be who they say they are online. Warn them that sex offenders often use social networking sites, e-mail, and online gaming to contact and exploit young people.

Remind them that a platform's privacy settings do not make things actually "private;" images, thoughts, and behavior shared online becomes a part of their digital footprint indefinitely. Never forward a text or photo without asking permission. This includes texting of inappropriate pictures or "sexting." Images on apps like Snapchat, for example, may disappear after viewing but can easily be saved by using a phone's screen shot function.

Have ongoing talks with your teen about responsible online citizenship. This includes treating others with respect online and offline and avoiding cyberbullying. Let them know to tell a parent, their pediatrician, or other trusted adult if they or others are being bullied, disrespected, attacked, or treated badly online.

Additional Information & Resources:

Council on Communications and Media (Copyright © 2017 American Academy of Pediatrics)

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How to Connect with Your Teen about Smart & Safe Media Use

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Teens may think they know all about today's media, but they may not know enough about viewing and interacting with media safely and wisely. As a parent, it is your job to talk with your teen about smart and safe media use.​

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Why You Should Talk With Your Kids about Drugs and Alchohol

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Why You Should Talk With Your Kids about Drugs and Alchohol

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Learn why you should talk with your child about alcohol and other drugs.
Download Why You Should Talk With Your Child About Alcohol and Other Drugs in English (PDF | 558 KB)
Parents Have a Significant Influence in Their Children's Decisions to Experiment With Alcohol and Other Drugs

One of the most influential factors during a child's adolescence is maintaining a strong, open relationship with a parent. When parents create supportive and nurturing environments, children make better decisions. Though it may not always seem like it, children really hear their parents' concerns, which is why it's important that parents discuss the risks of using alcohol and other drugs.

It's Better to Talk Before Children Are Exposed to Alcohol and Other Drugs

If you talk to your kids directly and honestly, they are more likely to respect your rules and advice about alcohol and drug use. When parents talk with their children early and often about alcohol and other drugs, they can protect their children from many of the high-risk behaviors associated with using these drugs.

Some Children May Try Alcohol or Other Drugs at a Very Young Age

It is never too early to talk to your children about alcohol and other drugs. Children as young as nine years old already start viewing alcohol in a more positive way, and approximately 3,300 kids as young as 12 try marijuana each day. Additionally, about five in 10 kids as young as 12 obtain prescription pain relievers for nonmedical purposes. The earlier you start talking, the better.

The Older Kids Get, the More Likely They'll Try Alcohol or Other Drugs

About 10 percent of 12-year-olds say they have tried alcohol, but by age 15, that number jumps to 50 percent. Additionally, by the time they are seniors, almost 70 percent of high school students will have tried alcohol, half will have taken an illegal drug, and more than 20 percent will have used a prescription drug for a nonmedical purpose. The sooner you talk to your children about alcohol and other drugs, the greater chance you have of influencing their decisions about drinking and substance use.

Not Talking About Alcohol and Other Drugs Still Sends Kids a Message

Kids don't always have all the facts when it comes to alcohol and other drugs. If parents don't talk about the risks of underage drinking and substance use, their kids might not see any harm in trying alcohol and other substances. Having a conversation allows parents to set clear rules about what they expect from their kids when it comes to alcohol and other drugs.

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Why You Should Talk With Your Child About Alcohol and Other Drugs

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Learn why you should talk with your child about alcohol and other drugs. Download Why You Should Talk With Your Child About Alcohol and Other Drugs in English (PDF | 558 KB) One of the most influential factors during a child's adolescence is maintaining a strong, open relationship with a parent.

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Talking to Your Kids about Drugs and Alcohol

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Talking to Your Kids about Drugs and Alcohol

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Advice for different age groups

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Parents can help protect kids against drug use by giving them the facts before they're in a risky situation. This can make them less likely to experiment with drugs or to rely on friends for answers.

You're a role models for your kids, and your views on alcohol, tobacco, and drugs can strongly affect how they think about them. So make talking about drugs a part of your general health and safety conversations.

How Should I Talk to My Young Child About Drugs?

Take advantage of "teachable moments" now. If you see a character in a movie or on TV with a cigarette, talk about smoking and what it does to a person's body. This can lead to a talk about other drugs and how they can harm.

Keep your tone calm and use terms that your child can understand. Explain that drugs are dangerous and can cause lots of problems in the body. Teach kids early on how to say no if someone offers them something they know is dangerous.

How Should I Talk to My 8- to 12-Year-Old About Drugs?

As kids grow older, start talks with them by asking them what they've heard about drugs. Ask in a nonjudgmental, open-ended way, so you're more likely to get an honest response.

Remember to show your kids that you're listening and really paying attention to their concerns and questions. To give your kids the facts, you might have to do a little research.

Kids this age usually are still willing to talk openly to their parents about touchy subjects. Talking now helps keep the door open as kids get older so they continue to share their thoughts and feelings.

News about things like steroid use in professional sports can be a way to start a talk and to give your kids information about the risks of drugs.

How Should I Talk to My Teen About Drugs?

Teens are likely to have peers who use alcohol or drugs, and to have friends who drive. Have conversations not only to understand your teen's thoughts and feelings, but also to talk about the dangers of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Talk about the legal issues - jail time and fines - and the possibility that they or someone else might be killed or seriously injured.

Consider making a written or verbal contract on the rules about going out or using the car. You can promise to pick your kids up at any time (even 2 a.m.!), no questions asked, if they call you when the person responsible for driving has been drinking or using drugs.

They may ask you more specific questions about drugs. By discussing this with your teen from the start, you can make your expectations clear and help them feel safe coming to you.

How Can I Help Keep My Kids Safe From Drugs?

Drugs can affect any family. But by talking with your kids and staying involved in their lives, you can help keep them safe.

Encourage your kids to take part in hobbies, sports, and clubs that interest them. This can help with positive interactions and self-esteem. Know who their friends are and where they spend their time. Kids who have friends who use drugs are more likely to try drugs themselves.

Help kids know how to turn down drugs if they are offered. Let them know they can always text or call if they want to leave a situation and you will come get them.

A warm, open family environment - where kids can talk about their feelings, where their achievements are praised, and where their self-esteem is boosted - encourages kids to come forward with their questions and concerns.

Make talking with your kids a regular part of your day. Find time to do things you enjoy together as a family, which helps everyone stay connected and maintain open communication. Sometimes kids are more likely to talk when they don't have to make eye contact - like when you are in the car or walking together.

Pay attention so you know when your kids are going through tough times. Offer the support they need or get extra help, if it's needed.

If you need for more resources for yourself or your child, talk to your doctor.

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Parents can help protect kids against drug use by giving them the facts before they're in a risky situation. This can make them less likely to experiment with drugs or to rely on friends for answers. You're a role models for your kids, and your views on alcohol, tobacco, and drugs can strongly affect how they think about them.

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How do I teach my kids about bias in the news?

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How do I teach my kids about bias in the news? Get expert advice and tips from Common Sense Media editors.

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Here are healthy strategies to help your child cope with their most stressful times.

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Visuals about Substance Abuse

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substance abuse Infographics | Visual.ly

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Occupations with High Rates of Substance Abuse

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Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol

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Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol

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Make a Difference: Talk to Your Child About Alcohol - Parents | National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism (NIAAA)

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This guide is geared to parents and guardians of young people ages 10 to 14. Keep in mind that the suggestions on the following pages are just that—suggestions. Trust your instincts. Choose ideas you are comfortable with, and use your own style in carrying out the approaches you find useful. Your ch…

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Drug Use Among Youth: Facts and Statistics

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Drug Use Among Youth: Facts and Statistics

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Substance abuse and problematic patterns of substance use among youth can lead to problems at school, cause or aggravate physical and mental health-related issues, promote poor peer relationships, cause motor-vehicle accidents, and place stress on the family. They can also develop into lifelong issues such as substance dependence, chronic health problems, and social and financial consequences.

Substance abuse is the harmful pattern of using substances-such as tobacco, alcohol, illicit drugs, and prescription drugs-leading to impairment or distress with one or more of the following behaviors:

Recurrent substance use resulting in failure to fulfill major responsibilities at work, school, or home such as repeated absences, suspension, and expulsion

Recurrent substance use in situations where it is physically dangerous, such as driving while impaired

Recurrent substance-related legal problems, such as arrests for disorderly conduct that are substance-related

Continued substance use despite having persistent or recurring social or personal problems caused or worsened by substance use

One of the most highly abused substances among youth in the U.S. is alcohol. Youth engage in binge drinking, a pattern of drinking that elevates the blood alcohol concentration to 0.08 percent or above, more than adults do. This can lead to risky and potentially harmful behaviors, and many times substance abuse (60-75 percent of youth with substance abuse problems) co-occurs with mental health disorders.

Substance use, abuse, and dependence can negatively impact every aspect of an individual's life. Child-serving systems need to intervene early in the lives of youth to prevent or treat abuse, support young people, and provide them with the tools to choose the right path.

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Substance abuse and problematic patterns of substance use among youth can lead to problems at school, cause or aggravate physical and mental health-related issues, promote poor peer relationships, cause motor-vehicle accidents, and place stress on the family. They can also develop into lifelong issues such as substance dependence, chronic health problems, and social and financial consequences.

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Trauma and Brain Development in Children

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Trauma and Brain Development in Children

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The Shift to Trauma-Informed Care

In recent years, new research compiled by the Child Welfare Information Gateway on early brain development has provided fresh insight on how trauma effects the developing brain during infancy and childhood. Where practitioners once used psychological, emotional, and behavioral terms to diagnose the effects of trauma, there is now scientific evidence of altered brain functioning due to early abuse and neglect.

"There's been a shift from 'what's wrong with you' to 'what's happened to you?' I think this really sums up what trauma-informed care is all about," said Emily Neal, Mercy Home for Boys and Girls' clinical director.

Neal credits the Adverse Childhood Experience Study (ACE Study), conducted by Kaiser Permanente and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, as a catalyst for this paradigm shift. The landmark study, published in 1998, demonstrated a direct correlation between the number of adverse childhood experiences - like abuse, neglect, and trauma - to health and socials problems later in life.

"There's been a shift from 'what's wrong with you' to 'what's happened to you?'" - Emily Neal, Clinical Director at Mercy Home for Boys & Girls

"It became indisputable that family issues and conditions causing stress among people was actually a public health issue," said Neal. "That warranted funding, focus, and attention from government and larger agencies that had capacity to determine the direction of research."

These new perspectives gave way to innovations in the clinical field of trauma-informed care.

"What's been most innovative is the attention we are now paying to the body and other forms of processing, apart from talk therapy," Neal said. "Sometimes language centers go dark when the nervous system is activated. Sometimes there aren't words to describe what happened to you or to articulate the feelings and impacts associated with trauma."

Neal added: "Some of these more sensory or body-based interventions we've been exploring through the Trauma Center and through the Child Trauma Academy, to me, that's been really innovative - understanding how occupational therapy principles can be applied to trauma survivors and give kids new ways to manage their energies."

Brain Development and Trauma

By the age of three, a child's brain has reached almost 90 percent of its adult size. During those first three years, higher functioning brain regions, like the limbic system and cerebral cortex, grow rapidly. These regions are crucial to child development because they regulate emotions, language, and abstract thought. To reach full potential, these regions largely depend on receiving stimulation, which triggers activity and provides the foundation for learning.

If this stimulation is lacking or absent, for example if a child's caretaker is inattentive, hostile, depressed, or cognitively impaired, the child's brain could be damaged. Because the brain is malleable, it will adapt to a negative environment just as easily as it will adapt to a positive one.

Brain development is the process of creating, strengthening, and discarding connections between neurons, the building blocks of the brain. These connections are called synapses, which are essentially junctions of nerve impulses on the super highway of consciousness. At its peak, the cerebral cortex of a healthy toddler creates two million synapses per second. By the age of two, a child's brain has approximately 100 trillion synapses.

Based on the child's experience, certain synapses are strengthened and remain intact, while non-essential synapses are shed in a natural elimination process called pruning. For example, an infant's brain makes connections to hear language. Over time, synapses that correlate to parental voices will strengthen, while synapses that correspond to a stranger's voice will weaken and be discarded.

For children who experience trauma, their brains are at risk of pruning vital synapses that should remain intact. For example, infants are genetically predisposed to form strong attachments to their primary caregivers. But if the caregiver is neglectful, that durable bond might be severed, or pruned. This broken connection can have ripple effects on into adolescence and beyond, perhaps contributing to a young person who finds it difficult establishing trust with adults.

When a child's environment is filled with domestic violence, physical abuse, chaos and other catalysts of toxic stress, their brains may become hyper-alert for danger or not fully develop. As their neuronal pathways strengthen to cope under these negative conditions, they may struggle to respond to a kind and nurturing environment.

Potential Effects of Trauma on a Child's Functioning

The chronic stress of repeated trauma can produce a number of biological reactions, such as a persistent state of fear. This adaptation, while beneficial in a hostile world, can become a routine way of life that's hard to change, even if a child's surroundings improve.

For example, if a child was mistreated at a playground by a tall uncle, they might experience that same fear whenever they walk by a playground or encounter a tall man who poses no threat. This generalized fear response can lay the foundation for future anxiety disorders, such as post-traumatic stress disorder, (PTSD).

"Certain cues can bring people back to the place where the abuse occurred," Neal said. "Smells and sounds are big ones, too."

When a child's developing brain experiences chronic, traumatic stress, neuronal pathways for the fear response become routine and create memories that automatically trigger that fear without conscious thought. Children can become very sensitive to nonverbal cues, such as eye contact or a touch on the shoulder, and are more apt to misinterpret them.

Overwhelmed with the need to scan nonverbal cues for threats, their brains may find it hard to appropriately respond to verbal cues, even in an environment considered to be safe, like a classroom. A child who feels threated by groups of people might feel the need to always monitor his classmates and be more likely to disregard a teacher's voice.

Chronic trauma can lead to chemical and structural changes in a child's brain that regulate emotion and stress. Abuse and neglect can affect the connection between the amygdala and hippocampus, which can initiate the development of depression and anxiety by late adolescence. Additionally, studies show that maltreatment may permanently alter the brain's ability to use serotonin, a neurotransmitter that helps produce feelings of contentment and emotional stability.

Executive functioning typically includes three distinct features: working memory (the ability to keep and use information over a short time period), inhibitory control (the filtering of impulses and thoughts), and cognitive flexibility (adjusting to altered demands, perspectives, and priorities). Even at an early age, maltreatment can cause deficits in all areas of executive functioning. Deficits might manifest as lower academic achievement, decreased IQ, intellectual deterioration, and short attention spans.

Neglect is not restricted only to physical needs. Failure to meet a child's cognitive, emotional, or social needs also constitutes as neglect. Lack of stimulation in these areas during a child's early years can lead to weak neuronal pathways that inhibit a child's ability to achieve developmental milestones.

For example, if an infant's sounds are repeatedly ignored when they start to babble at six months, their language development - which grows rapidly at 18 - 24 months - may be significantly delayed. These delays can occur across the spectrum of normal development for neglected children, including their cognitive-behavioral, socio-emotional, and physical development.

Studies suggest that children who have experienced traumatic stress and abuse are less responsive to positive stimuli. For example, a mistreated child might show ambivalence towards receiving compliments, when a child who was treated well might feel proud and accomplished. Abused and neglected children also exhibited a weaker response to cues in the basal ganglia areas of the brain responsible for reward processing.

"If their self-concept is rooted in all of the negativity that they've witnessed or been told about themselves, it's hard for them to believe people are sincere when they're saying or doing positive things," Neal said.

Toxic stress can hinder brain development in such a way that makes engaging with others in social settings feel uncomfortable and daunting. Children who have experienced trauma often find it difficult to adapt to shifting social contexts while navigating interactions in public situations. For example, an abused or neglected child might misinterpret a nonthreatening facial expression as one of disrespect, which could then trigger an angry reaction.

How Mercy Home and Others Can Help

Children who were raised in environments full of toxic stress, abuse, and trauma experience a profound amount of cognitive damage. However, this damage is not beyond repair. Studies show that maltreated children can see positive effects on brain development and functioning when their living situations improve.

Mercy Home for Boys & Girls plays a key role in this healing process. Through our trauma-informed model of care, our young people receive strengths-based therapy and counseling that will help them build resilience and heal from the trauma of their pasts. Mercy Home has built its current model of care on multiple evidence-informed frameworks in the field of child and adolescent traumatic stress, including the Attachment, Regulation, and Competency Framework (ARC) from the Center for Trauma Training, The Transition to Independence Process (TIP) from the Stars Training Academy, and The Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics (NMT) from the Child Trauma Academy. Emily Neal and coworker Jeremy Karpen are now trained and credentialed to consult with youth care agencies across the country to help them apply the ARC framework. In addition, Mercy Home staff is training several Chicago-area schools on how to recognize the signs of trauma in students and provide trauma-informed classroom care.

Through your support of Mercy Home, you can help improve the living situations of young people who have survived traumatic situations and provide them with a nurturing atmosphere full of opportunity. You can also join us and reach out to your Representative in Congress to encourage them to support trauma-informed care. Together, we can repair our kids' painful pasts with hopeful futures.

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Trauma and Brain Development in Children | Mercy Home for Boys & Girls

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The Shift to Trauma-Informed Care In recent years, new research compiled by the Child Welfare Information Gateway on early brain development has provided fresh insight on how trauma effects the developing brain during infancy and childhood.

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TN Voices Mental Health Condition Fact Sheets

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TN Voices Mental Health Condition Fact Sheets

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Mental Health Condition Fact Sheets - TN Voices

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Obsessive-Compulsive DisorderIf you suspect or have confirmed that you or a loved one have a medical condition, here are resources to help get more info. Make a Referral Home/Blog Adverse ... Read More

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What to look for

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As a parent or caregiver, you want the best for your children or other dependents. You may be concerned or have questions about certain behaviors they exhibit and how to ensure they get help.

What to Look For

It is important to be aware of warning signs that your child may be struggling. You can play a critical role in knowing when your child may need help.

Consult with a school counselor, school nurse, mental health provider, or another health care professional if your child shows one or more of the following behaviors:

Feeling very sad or withdrawn for more than two weeks

Seriously trying to harm or kill himself or herself, or making plans to do so

Experiencing sudden overwhelming fear for no reason, sometimes with a racing heart or fast breathing

Getting in many fights or wanting to hurt others

Showing severe out-of-control behavior that can hurt oneself or others

Not eating, throwing up, or using laxatives to make himself or herself lose weight

Having intense worries or fears that get in the way of daily activities

Experiencing extreme difficulty controlling behavior, putting himself or herself in physical danger or causing problems in school

Using drugs or alcohol repeatedly

Having severe mood swings that cause problems in relationships

Showing drastic changes in behavior or personality

Because children often can't understand difficult situations on their own, you should pay particular attention if they experience:

Loss of a loved one

Divorce or separation of their parents

Any major transition-new home, new school, etc.

Traumatic life experiences, like living through a natural disaster

Teasing or bullying

Difficulties in school or with classmates

What to Do

If you are concerned your child's behaviors, it is important to get appropriate care. You should:

Talk to your child's doctor, school nurse, or another health care provider and seek further information about the behaviors or symptoms that worry you

Ask your child's primary care physician if your child needs further evaluation by a specialist with experience in child behavioral problems

Ask if your child's specialist is experienced in treating the problems you are observing

Talk to your medical provider about any medication and treatment plans

How to Talk About Mental Health

Do you need help starting a conversation with your child about mental health? Try leading with these questions. Make sure you actively listen to your child's response.

Can you tell me more about what is happening? How you are feeling?

Have you had feelings like this in the past?

Sometimes you need to talk to an adult about your feelings. I'm here to listen. How can I help you feel better?

Do you feel like you want to talk to someone else about your problem?

I'm worried about your safety. Can you tell me if you have thoughts about harming yourself or others?

When talking about mental health problems with your child you should:

Communicate in a straightforward manner

Speak at a level that is appropriate to a child or adolescent's age and development level (preschool children need fewer details than teenagers)

Discuss the topic when your child feels safe and comfortable

Watch for reactions during the discussion and slow down or back up if your child becomes confused or looks upset

Listen openly and let your child tell you about his or her feelings and worries

Learn More About Supporting Your Children

There are many resources for parents and caregivers who want to know more about children's mental health. Learn more about:

Get Help for Your Child

Seek immediate assistance if you think your child is in danger of harming themselves or others. You can call a crisis line or the National Suicide Prevention Line at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

If your child is in need of community mental health services you can find help in your area.

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As a parent or caregiver, you want the best for your children or other dependents. You may be concerned or have questions about certain behaviors they exhibit and how to ensure they get help. It is important to be aware of warning signs that your child may be struggling.

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TN - Services for Children, Youth, Young Adults, and Families

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TN - Services for Children, Youth, Young Adults, and Families

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Services for Children, Youth, Young Adults, and Families

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The Tennessee Department of Mental Health and Substance Abuse Services along with its dedicated and professional network of community service providers and sister agencies has a vast array of services for young people ranging in age from infant to young adult. Please choose an age range below for a look at services offered.

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Psychology Today - how to change brain to become more stress resilient

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In the face of adversity and hardship, most cope as best they can. What if you could change the structure and function of your brain to become even more stress-resilient?

Resilience has been defined as the ability to deal with adversity, be it small daily stressors or unexpected traumatic events. More specifically, resilience is seen as having the capacity to return to successful adaptation and functioning even after a period of disorganization and disruption.

Most often, resilience has been considered a function of our ability to call upon enduring personal attributes as physical strength, intelligence, interpersonal strengths, independence, sense of humor, creativity and spirituality.

While these are no doubt valuable assets for coping and stress reduction, recent research offers good news: You can expand on these. You can actually build resilience.

According to researchers Steven Southwick and Dennis Charney, resilience is tied to brain function and we have the power to change the structure and function of our brains to become more stress-resilient.

When we face traumatic events we go into fight/flight responses because our brain activates the neural pathways of fear. Daily worry and stress do a similar thing. Ruminating about negative events, faulting yourself for mistakes, believing you cannot risk change, can activate the same neural pathways of fear that a pandemic or imminent hurricane invites. Essentially the more we activate the stress response and the neural fear pathways, the more this becomes our default setting.

Southwick and Charney report that new techniques like functional magnetic resonance imagining (FMRI) which show brain activity and can indicate which areas of the brain are active when engaged in a behavior or cognitive process, reveal that resilient brains shut off the stress response and return to baseline quickly.

For example, Martin Paulus reports that when exposed to extreme environments during training, the performance of both Navy SEALs and Army Rangers initially deteriorates, but then returns to a steady state.
Can We Do That?
What these scientists are proposing is that we can train our brains to build and strengthen different connections that don't keep activating the fear circuit. We can train ourselves to " Let Go" of the negative and the frightening, so that we can move forward despite adversity.
Neurologically "Let Go"
This is not the first time any of us have heard the suggestion to "let go." We have heard and often been inspired by it for decades:
You can only lose what you cling to. (Buddha) There's an important difference between giving up and letting go. (Jessica Hatchigan)
Our focus on negative experiences persists because such experiences actually involve more brain activity than positive ones. This is called the negative bias. Another reason that letting go of the negative is difficult is that many of us have the mistaken belief that if we continue think about the disaster or the possibility of losing our job, we will be able to prevent it from happening again or be prepared for it.

The reality is that it doesn't prepare us; it frightens us. Ruminating about the mistake, the failed mission, or what should have happened keeps us in a dysregulated state.

It is worth considering that letting go of the frightening is not just "letting go." It is making possible the activation of alternative neural paths and that equates to having a place to go other than fear in the rough times. It equates to resilience.
Strategies to Build Resilience
Drawing upon Southwick and Charney's book Resilience: The Science of Mastering Life's Greatest Challenges, here are three strategies that stimulate brain change and resiliency building.

Use Realistic Optimism. Optimism is considered to be a fuel that ignites resilience and empowers other resilience factors. That said, there is a very big difference between blind optimism and realistic optimism. Blind or unrealistic optimism underestimates risk, overestimates ability and results in inadequate preparation. For example, a group of young adults believe that if they only go out to bars with each other, they won't contract Covid-19.

Realistic optimism, as opposed to blind optimism, is active not passive. The person using realistic optimism does not miss the negatives but disengages from problems that appear unsolvable and attends to problems they can solve. For example:
A single mother who worried how she could work if schools closed again, started calling other working parents whom she knew. She didn't stop until she had a few parents with similar concerns for safety, kids, job security and a plan for pooling together to cover school and work time. The plan was to keep changing the plan until it worked. A frontline medical worker bought his own back-up PPE's and face-shields. He took his scrubs off in the garage every time he returned home and showered before he saw his family. He wore his mask at home. He was committed to his work. But with his wife and four children, he could not relax until he knew he was protecting his family as much as he could.
Utilize Social Support. According to Southwick, social support is critical to resilience. Few people are strong by themselves. Drawing upon the poignant stories of POW's, Southwick underscores how the human bond often makes it possible to cope with the unspeakable.

He describes the ingenious communication systems used by POW's to support each other by tapping on pipes. When he asked Bob Stockdale, the senior ranking officer who spent years as a POW at the Hanoi Hilton, what kept him going, the officer replied, "The man next door."

In terms of coping with stressful situations, experiments reveal that oxytocin (the feel good hormone) stimulated by the presence of someone who cares, reduces the activation of the brain's fear pathways and explains why social support reduces stress.

Any stress lasting longer than a few minutes increases levels of cortisol released from the adrenal cortex. The oxytocin reduces anxiety by dampening the cortisol system, the HPA axis, which is the body's "stress system," and which ultimately controls levels of cortisol and other important stress related hormones.

Approximately 54 million workers, or 35 percent of U.S. employees, are targeted by a bully at some point in their careers, according to the Workplace Bullying Institute. In a study by Kathleen Krone of the University of Nebraska-Lincoln and Stacy Tye-Williams of Iowa State University in which they collected narratives from 48 bullying victims, more than half of employees reported being bullied by their manager or boss, while others were targeted by a co-worker. Most victims felt isolated and ostracized as other workers were often afraid to support victims. Importantly, those victims who had a co-worker to speak with and from whom they received support had lower levels of depression.

Social support is bi-directional. Staying connected by giving and getting support changes brain chemistry and builds resilience for those giving as well as those receiving. It can start with a simple hello to a neighbor, a note of kindness to a relative or a funny email to a friend. Giving kindness has the benefit of getting kindness.

Exercise for Brain Power. No one has not heard the suggestion to exercise. What is worth remembering is that we now have research findings that explain the connection between physical exercise, brain changes and emotional resilience. Consider that exercising your body exercises your brain and that is key to resilience:

Exercise has been shown to increase chemicals that are known to improve mood and lessen depression.

Stress results in a release of the hormone cortisol, which damages neurons in the brain. Exercise dampens this cortisol release and its impact on heightening stress.

Aerobic exercise aids in recovery because exercise both enhances the growth of neurons and promotes the repair of brain cells.

I have witnessed people walk or jog themselves out of the stress of heartache, the assault of a traumatic loss, and the devastation of natural disaster. I have encouraged people to pair exercise with friends or beloved pets to reap the double benefits of connection and exercise. I have marveled at the added boost of exercising in nature. I have never heard anyone dispute the power of exercise to make coping more possible and hope more accessible.

"It's your reaction to adversity, not adversity itself that determines how your life's story will develop." -Dieter F. Uchtdorf

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In the face of adversity and hardship, most cope as best they can. What if you could change the structure and function of your brain to become even more stress-resilient? Resilience has been defined as the ability to deal with adversity, be it small daily stressors or unexpected traumatic events.

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Early Brain Development

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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The early years of a child's life are very important for later health and development. One of the main reasons is how fast the brain grows starting before birth and continuing into early childhood. Although the brain continues to develop and change into adulthood, the first 8 years can build a foundation for future learning, health and life success.

How well a brain develops depends on many factors in addition to genes, such as:

Proper nutrition starting in pregnancy

Exposure to toxins or infections

The child's experiences with other people and the world

Nurturing and responsive care for the child's body and mind is the key to supporting healthy brain development. Positive or negative experiences can add up to shape a child's development and can have lifelong effects. To nurture their child's body and mind, parents and caregivers need support and the right resources. The right care for children, starting before birth and continuing through childhood, ensures that the child's brain grows well and reaches its full potential. CDC is working to protect children so that their brains have a healthy start.

The importance of early childhood experiences for brain development

Children are born ready to learn, and have many skills to learn over many years. They depend on parents, family members, and other caregivers as their first teachers to develop the right skills to become independent and lead healthy and successful lives. How the brain grows is strongly affected by the child's experiences with other people and the world. Nurturing care for the mind is critical for brain growth. Children grow and learn best in a safe environment where they are protected from neglect and from extreme or chronic stress with plenty of opportunities to play and explore.

Parents and other caregivers can support healthy brain growth by speaking to, playing with, and caring for their child. Children learn best when parents take turns when talking and playing, and build on their child's skills and interests. Nurturing a child by understanding their needs and responding sensitively helps to protect children's brains from stress. Speaking with children and exposing them to books, stories, and songs helps strengthen children's language and communication, which puts them on a path towards learning and succeeding in school.

Exposure to stress and trauma can have long-term negative consequences for the child's brain, whereas talking, reading, and playing can stimulate brain growth. Ensuring that parents, caregivers, and early childhood care providers have the resources and skills to provide safe, stable, nurturing, and stimulating care is an important public health goal.

When children are at risk, tracking children's development and making sure they reach developmental milestones can help ensure that any problems are detected early and children can receive the intervention they may need.

Learn more about supporting early childhood experiences:

A healthy start for the brain

To learn and grow appropriately, a baby's brain has to be healthy and protected from diseases and other risks. Promoting the development of a healthy brain can start even before pregnancy. For example, a healthy diet and the right nutrients like sufficient folic acid will promote a healthy pregnancy and a healthy nervous system in the growing baby. Vaccinations can protect pregnant women from infections that can harm the brain of the unborn baby.

During pregnancy, the brain can be affected by many types of risks, such as by infectious diseases like Cytomegalovirus or Zika virus, by exposure to toxins, including from smoking or alcohol, or when pregnant mothers experience stress, trauma, or mental health conditions like depression. Regular health care during pregnancy can help prevent complications, including premature birth, which can affect the baby's brain. Newborn screening can detect conditions that are potentially dangerous to the child's brain, like phenylketonuria (PKU).

Healthy brain growth in infancy continues to depend on the right care and nutrition. Because children's brains are still growing, they are especially vulnerable to traumatic head injuries, infections, or toxins, such as lead. Childhood vaccines, such as the measles vaccine, can protect children from dangerous complications like swelling of the brain. Ensuring that parents and caregivers have access to healthy foods and places to live and play that are healthy and safe for their child can help them provide more nurturing care.

Learn more about the recommended care:

What does CDC do to support early brain health?

CDC is committed to supporting early brain health through evidence-based programs and partnerships within communities. Below are just a few examples of CDC programs that support early brain health:

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Early Brain Development and Health | CDC

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Early brain development is important for later health and development. Learn more.

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The brain is a complex entity whose development is shaped not only by genetics but also by its environment. Although the brain continues to develop throughout life, children's brains are far more impressionable (or plastic) than adult brains, meaning that they are both more open to learning and to being shaped by outside factors. Media play an important role in children's environment and subsequently affect children's developing brain. In particular, the frontal lobe is responsible for executive functions, and is one of the last parts of the brain to develop. Executive functioning controls things like impulse control, judgment, problem solving, attention, addictive behaviors, inhibition, memory, and decision-making, all of which can be affected by the media children are exposed to.

How can media use affect brain development?

As the brain isn't fully developed until young adulthood, children's media use can have a big impact on how their brains process information, outwardly affecting how they react to and remember events in any given situation. Current research offers the following examples of how children's brain development is shaped by their media use and exposure:

Some video games designed specifically for improving brain functions have shown to improve executive functioning, especially in children suffering from poor impulse control such as those with ADHD.

In young children, television can negatively impact a variety of executive functions. In older children and teens, violent media can lead to poorer results on executive functioning tests. Conversely, some studies have determined that television watching can improve specific brain capabilities, such as intellect.

Although multitasking with media can cover more ground, it can take children longer to accomplish a single task and the quality of their work (such as homework) suffers.

What YOU Can Do

Although the relationship between media and brain development is complex, monitoring children's media use and limiting their exposure to media that are developmentally optimal can help ensure that your child's brain is affected positively by media while protecting them from potential negative effects. Here are several suggestions to help you guide your child's media use:

Read book summaries before checking them out at the library or buying them for your child to read. Rating systems for TV, movies, music and even video games provide minimal information about content; however you can often watch movie and game previews, listen to clips of songs and use websites such as Common Sense Media to gain more information about what your child will actually see and hear.

Talk to your kids about using media purposefully and with goals in mind. For example, if they want to watch a TV show, "just for fun" be sure to discuss with them what they are learning from it and how it is affecting them. From there, determine together if that source of media is a good use of time, or if their entertainment time might be better used on a video game, playing outside, or other activity. Set time limits and parameters around media use with your children, and make sure that these expectations are enforced. Research shows that children are more likely to abide by media use rules when they are held accountable.

In today's often media saturated environment, teaching children to think critically about media is important. Critical thinking allows children to question the motivations behind different media depictions of situations and concepts and think about how accurate they are. Children can also learn how to separate their real world knowledge from those seen, heard, or read in media, such as understanding that impulsive violence often causes more problems than it solves in the real world, even though it seems to resolve most problems in action movies.

Keep TVs, computers and video game systems out of children's bedrooms, and make sure that all other internet connected devices such as tablets and smartphones are left in a common room or your bedroom to charge overnight. By keeping these electronics in a common area, parents can monitor their use much more easily and be aware of how much media their children are using and if the content is developmentally appropriate

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The brain is a complex entity whose development is shaped not only by genetics but also by its environment. Although the brain continues to develop throughout life, children's brains are far more impressionable (or plastic) than adult brains, meaning that they are both more open to learning and to being shaped by outside factors.

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The Developing Brain and Screentime

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[Updated October 2016]

A family media agreement (or technology contract, or whatever you may call it) helps you establish rules and guidelines on internet and device use. A media agreement is also a great way to start a conversation about internet safety, and to decide on and communicate consequences from the start so there are no misunderstandings.

When to start using a family media agreement

Introduce a family media agreement when your child first starts to use any technology in the home without your supervision - including computers/laptops, video games, tablets and phones.

Back-to-school is a great time to address this topic as your children may be using new technologies at school. As they progress through the grades, they will increasingly use computers during the school day. They may have a need to go online at home to finish homework assignments. Students may even be using mobile technologies - such as tablets - in the classroom. As your children become more comfortable using these technologies at school, they will want to use them at home too.

You may also want to revisit any time you introduce a new device into the home. New Kindle for Christmas? An iPhone for a birthday or graduation gift? Time to update your agreement.

What to include in a family media agreement

Your family media agreement will help you set appropriate limits, given your child's age. Some examples might include:

1. How many hours a day can be spent using a computer, tablet, or playing video games?

2. Are social media sites allowed - which ones?

3. Are mobile devices allowed in bedrooms overnight?

4. Are any particular web sites off-limits?

5. What information can be or shouldn't be shared online?

6. What should your child do if they encounter something scary online

7. What happens if they break the rules?

Find a Media Agreement for Children of Any Age

Putting together a media agreement or technology contract is not difficult. You don't have to write one yourself. There are many to choose from. Use them as-is or as a starting point to create your own.

Family Media Use Plan - from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)

The Family Media plan from the AAP is an online tool where you can create a customized plan for each child. Pick and choose from the available options such as Screen-Free zones, Screen-Free times, Device Curfews, media consumption, digital citizenship. You can customize and choose different options for each child, and can also enter your own rules into the plan. Once done you can print it out. The site also includes a Media Time calculator. This could be useful to look at with your children. Once you enter in the time needed for school, sleep, sports and hobbies, family time, and homework, it's clear that too much screen time would take away from these important activities. (Also available in Spanish)
Family Online and Mobile Device Agreement - from Yahoo Safely and the Family Online Safety Institute (FOSI)
This is a great all-purpose agreement for kids and tweens. There are great reminders here such as not sharing passwords or personal information, and letting a parent know right away if they encounter anything inappropriate online. What I really like about this one is the section for parents - we have responsibility here too! (Also available in Spanish)
Family Media Agreements - from Common Sense Media (pdf) Internet Monitoring Family Game Plan - from InternetSafety.com, part of McAfee
FOSI also provides Online Safety cards to include when gifting a new phone, tablet or other electronic device. Great idea!

Common Sense Media is a great resource for parents and educators. There are three agreements here for different age levels: elementary school, middle school, and high school. Each one is geared towards the types of online activities kids are typically engaged in at their age level but built upon common themes - such as "I will stay safe" and "I will stay balanced". Parents have a role here too, such as "Recognize that media is a big part of my life, even if they don't always understand why."

InternetSafety.com is the maker of Safe Eyes parental control software. The family game plan can be signed and posted near the computer. This plan covers the basics such as not giving out private information and keeping passwords safe. The plan also covers safety rules outside of the home. And again, the plan acknowledges the reasons a plan is necessary: "I agree that my mom or dad can read my mail or check the sites that I have been visiting - not because they don't trust me but because they just want to make sure that I am safe."

Any of these media agreements, technology contracts, agreements or game plans can be used as a jumping-off point to create your own. Pick and choose the rules and guidelines that make sense for your family members. Adjust them over time - the rules for a 12-year old may not be a good fit for a 16-year old. And once they demonstrate safe, appropriate behavior you may be able to loosen the reins a bit. After all the ultimate goal is that they will internalize the rules and guidelines and make good decisions on their own in the future.

The beginning of the school year is a great time to review the rules, but the follow-through takes place every day. Encouraging responsible digital citizenship is an everyday task in our mobile, social, "always-on" society.

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Updated October 2016] A family media agreement (or technology contract, or whatever you may call it) helps you establish rules and guidelines on internet and device use. A media agreement is also a great way to start a conversation about internet safety, and to decide on and communicate consequences from the start so there are no misunderstandings.

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Canada's Centre For Digital Media Literacy

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Read the latest articles from MediaSmarts experts and parent bloggers.

Our games are a great, interactive way to start a conversation on media issues at home and sharpen your media and digital literacy skills as a family.

From choosing the right video games to talking to your kids about important media issues like stereotypes or sexting, these tip sheets are available to help you navigate parenting in the digital age.

Our guides offer information and practical tips for parents and trusted adults to support the young people in their lives through digital issues like cyberbullying, online privacy and more.

Get a better understanding of the various activities kids and teens love to do online and learn comprehensive strategies and tips to help them.

Visit our YouTube channel for even more digital and media literacy learning.

Get a better understanding of the various activities kids and teens love to do online and learn comprehensive strategies and tips to help them.

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Read the latest articles from MediaSmarts experts and parent bloggers. Our games are a great, interactive way to start a conversation on media issues at home and sharpen your media and digital literacy skills as a family.

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What every parent should know

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When children and teens use violence to get what they want-whether it's punching a parent, a sibling, or a hole in the wall-it usually involves a situation where they're being told "no" to something they want to do.

Or, similarly, they're being told they have to do something they don't want to do.

In both cases, the child gets frustrated and angry, and the only way he or she knows how to deal with these feelings is to strike out at someone or something.

And yes, perpetrators of violence can be any gender. So even though I may reference "he" or "him" in this article, know that this discussion pertains to all genders.

Violence is Used to Solve Problems

Kids often use violence to deal with frustration, disappointment, and anger. It's how they solve these problems. And they do it because it actually works. Their violence and threats of violence actually get them what they want. And it's how they gain power in the home.

When the violent child hears the word "no" and feels frustrated and powerless, he hits someone or something. To diffuse the situation, or out of fear, the parents give in and don't require him to comply. Striking out gives the child a sense of power and control in a world where, as a young adult, he has little of either.

The Power of Violence Needs to be Taken Away

If kids are gaining power by being violent, the first thing that you have to do is take away the power by not tolerating the violence. Violence is a seductive shortcut to power. And once it works, it's hard to get kids to accept more productive ways of gaining influence, such as through working, learning, and building life skills.

Many times, parents need a comprehensive behavioral program to manage this problem. And they may need the help of professionals.

As the parent, you have to teach kids problem-solving skills so that they have an alternative way of dealing with these situations and feelings. The following are steps you can take to help your child.

There's No Excuse for Abuse

Accept no excuse for abuse in your home. Write this on a piece of paper and put it on the refrigerator. Let "there's no excuse for abuse" become the motto of your household.

Hold your child responsible for her violent behavior no matter what the justification. And remember, being verbally provoked is not an excuse for abuse and does not justify a violent response. I'll say it one more time-there's no excuse for abuse. Ever.

Hold Kids Accountable and Give Consequences

When kids are violent or abusive, you must hold them accountable every time. You need to ensure that there are consequences for their actions. And make sure those consequences are set up as learning experiences. You want the consequence to teach your child what to do differently next time.

Know the difference between a punishment and a consequence. A punishment is retribution (or vengeance) for a wrongful act. Consequences are usually natural or logical outcomes that result from one's behavior. You can't punish your child into good behavior, but you can get him to want to behave better through effective consequences.

A consequence is typically the loss of a privilege until your child completes a task or behaves acceptably for a specified period of time. This isn't a punishment, although it may feel like one to your child. A good consequence is tied to the behavior in such a way that if the behavior improves, the consequence goes away as a result.

I urge you to read my article on consequences below for more information on what a good consequence is, what it isn't, and how to give kids consequences that work.

Related content: How to Give Kids Consequences That Work

Monitor the Media in Your Home

Monitoring and excluding violent media, including TV, videos, music, and computer games, gives the whole family the message that violence is not going to be glamorized in your home.

There's a lot of debate about whether or not violent media is harmful and parents should do what they think is best. But if violence or abuse is a problem in your home then I say get rid of the violent media as a way to help create a non-violent culture in your home.

Be a Role Model for Your Child

As a parent, you need to be a role model. If you and your spouse are hurting one another or hurting your children to get your way, don't be surprised if your child mimics you.

Kids watch parents for a living. It's their job. It's what they do. If parents model violence and poor problem-solving, it's natural for the kids to do the same.

Let me be very clear: if one parent is behaving violently, it's the other parent's job to protect that child. I'll say it again-there's no excuse for abuse in your household. No one should be allowed to abuse anyone else.

This is my nice way of saying that if you're locked in a relationship where your partner is being violent with your children, it's your job to protect your children no matter what the cost to that relationship.

There are cases where parents cross the line into violence because they're frustrated and angry with their child's constant behavior problems. But that's still no excuse for abuse. Children who are treated violently often grow up to be violent adults.

If parents find themselves crossing the line, that's a sure sign they need outside help. My advice to them is to seek it as soon as possible before things get any worse.

Also, parents should understand that if you lose your cool and hit your child because he is unmanageable or out of control, it is still against the law. And understand that you will be blamed for your child's bad behavior even if your child has a history of violence and you only crossed the line once. It may not seem fair, but that's the way it is and parents need to understand that.

Unfortunately, violence in the home is an all too common problem. It's complex and dangerous. If you think that you are in danger and need help, please contact one of the organizations below:

For our full list of resources: Empowering Parents Resources Page

Violence in Younger Kids

If you have a younger child who is displaying violent or destructive behavior, think of it as a warning sign. Kids who are violent at age five, six, and seven have an extraordinarily high rate of being violent as teens and young adults.

Violent behavior at this age would include hitting other kids, biting, and kicking on a consistent basis to get what they want. It's very important to hold young children accountable and to teach them social problem-solving skills they can use to replace violence.

Don't ignore the problem. Don't assume he will grow out of it and it will go away on its own. Having a system of consequences and rewards that you use consistently can be very helpful in curbing violence. Many kids are under-socialized and need extra teaching, structure, and patience to learn these skills.

Abuse Masquerading as Play: Where to Draw the Line

Parents should not tolerate physical or verbal abuse masquerading as play. Many parents have good instincts when it comes to recognizing the difference between normal roughhousing and physical aggression. These parents can also recognize the difference between playful teasing and verbal abuse. For these parents, my advice is simple: trust your instincts. If it doesn't feel right to you, don't let them do it.

Remember, our job as parents is to teach our kids which behaviors are acceptable and which are not. Kids are excessive and require adults to set limits on both the intensity and frequency of physical roughhousing or verbal teasing.

For parents who are uncertain about the threshold between roughhousing and violence, below are some guidelines for when to step in. Stop an activity immediately whenever any of the following occurs:

One child wants it to stop, and the other child doesn't stop.

Someone gets hurt, even if both parties want it to continue.

The roughhousing is in retaliation for something.

The roughhousing is designed to dominate a younger or smaller child.

It's done at the wrong time or in the wrong place.

And understand that we're not judging kids by their motives, we're judging them by their actions. Therefore, if one kid says, "I didn't mean to hurt my brother or sister," that's irrelevant to us as parents. You just need to say:

"You did hurt your brother, and it has to stop."

Hold them accountable and give them consequences for these behaviors.

Kids with Learning Disabilities or Disorders

Kids with learning disabilities and neurological problems may not develop the problem-solving skills they need to deal with anger appropriately. As a result, they may also use violence to solve problems. A kid with ADD or ADHD who struggles in academics may, for the same reasons, struggle in understanding how to accept limits, read social situations, and solve social problems.

Often, when an adult and a child look at a social situation, they don't see the same picture. Children with a learning disability may see something completely different altogether. These kids may need extra structure and support to learn more effective problem-solving skills so that they don't resort to abuse or violence.

Violent and Destructive Behavior at School

If your child is behaving violently at school, work with the school to find out as much about the situation as you can. Is there something that triggers your child's violent or destructive behavior? Is it something that you can help him learn how to manage? This will help you decide how to respond to the behavior at home.

Misbehavior in school can be dealt with by just letting the school give consequences. I think that is a good approach in most instances. But when violence or destruction is involved, parents have to also hold the child accountable at home with effective consequences. Effective consequences could be to link privileges such as phone or electronics use with school behavior. In other words, your child would retain these privileges as long as there is no violent or destructive behavior in school that day.

Unfortunately, many kids who are violent in school are also violent at home. If this is the case, parents may need external help in the form of parental training or family therapy to get the support they need.

Should I Call the Police?

There are times when your authority as a parent isn't enough. If your adolescent has escalated to the point of physical abuse and destruction of property then you already know you need help. Calling the police on your child poses a risk that you might not be willing to take, but it's an option you should consider.

I personally would not hesitate to call the police when the crimes of property destruction and violence are committed in my home. I just don't want to live under those circumstances in my own home.

If you are considering calling the police, I urge you to read the two articles referenced below.

Related content: When to Call the Police on Your Child

I think that many parents need to face two facts. The first is that violent and destructive behavior is a clear sign that the child cannot solve the problems appropriately and is not responding to parental authority.

The second is that violent behavior will eventually lead to legal problems and it is actually better for that to happen sooner rather than later. The system is much more tolerant of young offenders than it is of older ones. In other words, the earlier an intervention is made using outside authorities, the better the chance the child will save himself and others a lot of grief down the road.

Is There Hope for My Violent Child?

Of course there is hope. But hope is a tricky word. I believe hope without an observable change in behavior is misguided.

Also, parents can hope all they want for their kids to change their behaviors. But, if parents don't make changes in how they deal with their violent child, hope is fruitless.

If you have a child or a teen who is using violence to get their way, you need to learn how to handle it. Fortunately, help is available. There are behavioral management programs as well as therapists and parent coaches who can work with families.

I developed The Total Transformation® Program to deal with these parenting issues. But whether it's from my program or some other place, there's hope if parents get help.

Related Content:
Parental Abuse: What to Do When Your Child or Teen Hits You

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How to Manage Violent Children | Empowering Parents

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When children and teens use violence to get what they want-whether it's punching a parent, a sibling, or a hole in the wall-it usually involves a situation where they're being told "no" to something they want to do. Or, similarly, they're being told they have to do something they don't want to do.

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Cyberbullying happens when kids bully each other through electronic technology. Find out why cyberbullying is different from traditional bullying, what you can do to prevent it, and how you can report it when it happens.

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology. Examples of cyberbullying include mean text messages or emails, rumors sent by email or posted on social networking sites, and embarrassing pictures, videos, websites, or fake profiles.

Parents and kids can prevent cyberbullying. Together, they can explore safe ways to use technology.

When cyberbullying happens, it is important to document and report the behavior so it can be addressed.

Source
StopBullying.gov

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Cyberbullying happens when kids bully each other through electronic technology. Find out why cyberbullying is different from traditional bullying, what you can do to prevent it, and how you can report it when it happens. Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place using electronic technology.

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From the Beauty Myth to the next top models, how do the media construct our perceptions of healthy and attractive bodies?

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What are Childhood Mental Health Disorders?

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What are Childhood Mental Health Disorders?

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Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

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Being mentally healthy during childhood means reaching developmental and emotional milestones and learning healthy social skills and how to cope when there are problems. Mentally healthy children have a positive quality of life and can function well at home, in school, and in their communities.

Mental disorders among children are described as serious changes in the way children typically learn, behave, or handle their emotions, which cause distress and problems getting through the day. Many children occasionally experience fears and worries or display disruptive behaviors. If symptoms are serious and persistent and interfere with school, home, or play activities, the child may be diagnosed with a mental disorder.

Mental health is not simply the absence of a mental disorder. Children who don't have a mental disorder might differ in how well they are doing, and children who have the same diagnosed mental disorder might differ in their strengths and weaknesses in how they are developing and coping, and in their quality of life. Mental health as a continuum and the identification of specific mental disorders are both ways to understand how well children are doing.

What are common childhood mental disorders?

Among the more common mental disorders that can be diagnosed in childhood are attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), anxiety (fears or worries), and behavior disorders.

Learn more about childhood mental disorders, symptoms, and treatment.

Other childhood disorders and concerns that affect how children learn, behave, or handle their emotions can include learning and developmental disabilities, autism, and risk factors like substance use and self-harm.

Read more about related conditions.

What are the symptoms of childhood mental disorders?

Symptoms of mental disorders change over time as a child grows, and may include difficulties with how a child plays, learns, speaks, and acts, or how the child handles their emotions. Symptoms often start in early childhood, although some disorders may develop during the teenage years. The diagnosis is often made in the school years and sometimes earlier; however, some children with a mental disorder may not be recognized or diagnosed as having one.

Can childhood mental disorders be treated?

Childhood mental disorders can be treated and managed. There are many treatment options based on the best and most current medical evidence. Parents and doctors should work closely with everyone involved in the child's treatment-teachers, coaches, therapists, and other family members. Taking advantage of all the resources available will help parents, health professionals, and educators guide the child towards success. Early diagnosis and appropriate services for children and their families can make a difference in the lives of children with mental disorders.

Get help finding treatment

If you have concerns about a child, you can use these resources to help you find a healthcare provider familiar with treatment options.

Who is affected?

Childhood mental disorders affect many children and families. Boys and girls of all ages and ethnic/racial backgrounds and living in all regions of the United States experience mental disorders. Based on the National Research Council and Institute of Medicine report, which gathered findings from previous studies, it is estimated that in 2007, 13-20% of children living in the United States (up to 1 out of 5 children) experienced a mental disorder in a given year, costing individuals, families, and society an estimated $247 billion per year.

What is the impact of mental disorders in children?

Mental health is important to overall health. Mental disorders are chronic health conditions-conditions that last a long time and often don't go away completely-that can continue through the lifespan. Without early diagnosis and treatment, children with mental disorders can have problems at home, in school, and in forming friendships. Mental disorders can also interfere with a child's healthy development, causing problems that can continue into adulthood.

Public health includes mental health

Supporting children's mental health also includes making sure children meet developmental milestones, understanding what to do when there is a concern, supporting positive parenting strategies, and improving access to care.

CDC works with partner agencies to better understand mental health and mental disorders and the impact they have on children.
Read more about research on children's mental health.
What you can do

Parents: You know your child best. Talk to your child's healthcare professional if you have concerns about the way your child behaves at home, in school, or with friends.

Youth: It is just as important to take care of your mental health as it is to take care of your physical health. If you are angry, worried or sad, don't be afraid to talk about your feelings and reach out to a trusted friend or adult.

Healthcare professionals: Early diagnosis and appropriate treatment based on updated guidelines are very important. There are resources available to help diagnose and treat children's mental disorders.

Teachers/school administrators: Early identification is important so that children can get the help they need. Work with families and healthcare professionals if you have concerns about the mental health of a child in your school.

Resources

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Learn more about mental health, mental disorders, treatments, prevention, and public health research on children's mental health.

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Sexting and Online Grooming: Risks of the Digital Age

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Sexting and Online Grooming: Risks of the Digital Age

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Sexting and Online Grooming: Risks of the Digital Age

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Sexting and online grooming can be dangerous in many ways. Discover how yo safely navigate the Internet in this amazing article!

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One tool common to those who sexually abuse kids is grooming: manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught. While these tactics are used most often against younger kids, teens and vulnerable adults are also at risk.

Grooming can take place online or in-person. It's usually employed by a family member or someone else in the victim's circle of trust, such as a coach, teacher, youth group leader or others who naturally have some interaction with the victim.

Though grooming can take many different forms, it often follows a similar pattern.

Victim selection: Abusers often observe possible victims and select them based on ease of access to them or their perceived vulnerability.

Gaining access and isolating the victim: Abusers will attempt to physically or emotionally separate a victim from those protecting them and often seek out positions in which they have contact with minors.

Trust development and keeping secrets: Abusers attempt to gain trust of a potential victim through gifts, attention, sharing "secrets" and other means to make them feel that they have a caring relationship and to train them to keep the relationship secret.

Desensitization to touch and discussion of sexual topics: Abusers will often start to touch a victim in ways that appear harmless, such as hugging, wrestling and tickling, and later escalate to increasingly more sexual contact, such as massages or showering together. Abusers may also show the victim pornography or discuss sexual topics with them, to introduce the idea of sexual contact.

Attempt by abusers to make their behavior seem natural, to avoid raising suspicions. For teens, who may be closer in age to the abuser, it can be particularly hard to recognize tactics used in grooming. Be alert for signs that your teen has a relationship with an adult that includes secrecy, undue influence or control, or pushes personal boundaries.

Grooming Family and Community

Grooming behaviors are not only used to gain a victim's trust, but often are used to create a trustworthy image and relationship with their family and community. Child and teen sexual abusers are often charming, kind, and helpful - exactly the type of behavior we value in friends and acquaintances. You don't need to be suspicious of everyone who is kind to your child; most people are well intentioned and trustworthy. But you should be on guard that this type of behavior is sometimes just a mirage, a way for an abuser to gain your trust so they have more direct access to your child (and make it less likely that the child will be believed if they speak up about the abuse). You should also talk to your kids about risks and boundaries, and make sure they know that they can come to you if anyone crosses a line.

Online Grooming

Online grooming often involves adults creating fake profiles and posing as children or teens in order to befriend someone and gain their trust. This may be the first step towards sexual abuse or online stalking or harassment. You can learn more from InternetMatters.org about how grooming occurs, and how you can make a minor in your life safer from it. You can also find out more about how to recognize more warning signs of online grooming from the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children.

Rather than banning kids from going online, introduce more freedom as they get older, and make sure they are attuned to the risks and are comfortable talking to you about what they experience. As Michael Rich, director of the Center on Media and Child Health at Boston Children's Hospital, recently told the Wall Street Journal, "The whole stranger-danger movement did more to create anxiety in children than it did to protect them," said. "If you turn everyone you don't know into a danger, you live in a pretty scary world."

Survivor Stories

Read more from survivors and RAINN Speakers Bureau members about how they were groomed by predators and what parents should watch out for:

Adam's Story: "It's not like he wore a sign saying, 'I'm a sexual predator.' He was that cool uncle."

Brian's Story: "When I was younger, I didn't want anybody to be mad at me. I didn't want my abuser to be mad at me."

Gail's Story: "The grooming was the most devastating part of it. I was so young when it started. Psychologically, it had a huge effect on my personality and how I viewed myself."

Pierre's Story: "He was someone who was always on my side. When I would get in trouble with my parents, he would tell them that I should come over to his house for the night. My parents could sense something was off-it seemed odd that I was spending so much time alone with an adult. They even asked me about it, but I told them that everything was fine. I now realize that this was all an effect of grooming."

How to Help

You can help keep kids and teens safer by learning the warning signs of abuse at rainn.org. To report sexual abuse of a child or teen, whether it occured in-person or online, visit childhelp.org.
To help you recognize warning signs or to get support if you find out a child or teen in your life has been abused, you can speak with someone who is trained to help. Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org. It's free, confidential, and 24/7.

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One tool common to those who sexually abuse kids and teens is grooming: manipulative behaviors that the abuser uses to gain access to a potential victim, coerce them to agree to the abuse, and reduce the risk of being caught. Though grooming can take many different forms, it often follows a similar pattern.

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Quick Guide

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Summarizes the signs of intoxication, substance use, and abuse commonly reported by substance users. This guide for parents and caregivers describes different substances teens use, how a teen may look when on that substance, how they may act, and how the substance may make them feel.

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Recognizing Drug Use in Adolescents: A Quick Guide for Caregivers and Adults

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Summarizes the signs of intoxication, substance use, and abuse commonly reported by substance users. This guide for parents and caregivers describes different substances teens use, how a teen may look when on that substance, how they may act, and how the substance may make them feel.

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Every year a new generation of children and teenagers get their own smartphone or tablet. Their parents might not have had the same technology, but it's always been true that every generation of teenagers finds a way to explore and express their developing sexuality. For some young people today, this means "sexting" -- sending or receiving sexually explicit images or messages. As a parent, you need to understand what sexting is, what the consequences could be and how to prevent it or deal with it.

Sexting can include a whole variety of different online activity. It ranges from suggestive chat to explicit video. It can be on a variety of platforms, from old-style SMS, through instant messaging services to photo and video sharing apps. It can be a one-off activity, or part of a whole series of different exchanges with one or more people. Young people can feel coerced or pressured into any sexual activity, but sexting may be voluntary and even seen as "normal".

Estimates vary as to how common sexting actually is. Part of the problem is that teenagers may believe that everyone else is doing it, but may not want to talk to parents or other adults about it. Certainly it's an activity that is reported or referred to more often now by mainstream media; adult lifestyle magazines increasingly have articles giving advice on the best "steamy sexts" to send to a partner. Given that it's portrayed as an ordinary part of relationships, it's likely to be increasing among teens.

If a child or young person takes a nude or sexually suggestive picture, or if they download a picture from another under-18 year old, they have broken the law. Most police forces see young people as victims, particularly if they have been coerced or pressured into taking a picture or creating a video, but some young people have been prosecuted, and registered as sex offenders. If a picture of an under-18 is shared, the person who shared it could be charged with distributing child pornography.

Whether parents like it or not, young people are going to explore and experiment with their sexuality. In many cases this causes no problems, and in many more there may nothing worse than a few moments of regret. In general, first sexual experiences are with one other person (or maybe even alone), so the potential for harm isn't great. Sexting is different. Messages and images can be stored and shared. When teenage relationships end, there may be intense feelings of abandonment or anger. It's easy in these circumstances for private images to be used as "revenge porn" - maliciously shared online, or among a group of friends. This can lead to shaming, bullying, or being targeted for more pictures. So while sexting itself may be relatively harmless, the consequences can be very harmful indeed.

The best thing is to talk to your child about the dangers involved in sharing anything online. Help them to understand that once an image has been shared, they have no control over it. Ask if they would be happy for family members, teachers, or strangers to see an image or video? If they wouldn't, then the best advice is not to share it at all. Don't threaten to take their phone away: this will make them much less likely to tell you if there is a problem. If your child has been coerced into sexting, or if an image has been shared without their consent, then talk with them about involving teachers or police. If they're being bullied, or being pressured by people they don't know to send more images, report it immediately.

Rapid advances in technology are changing the way that people work, play and relate to each other. Sometimes parents can feel like they're being left behind in a world that is changing too fast. But it's important to remember that the basic skills of parenting are still the same: want the best for your child, try to understand his or her point of view, bring an adult perspective to the situation, and never forget to let them know that you care.

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Every year a new generation of children and teenagers get their own smartphone or tablet. Their parents might not have had the same technology, but it's always been true that every generation of teenagers finds a way to explore and express their developing sexuality.

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Talking To Children about Tragedies & News Events

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Talking To Children about Tragedies & News Events

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After any disaster or crisis, families struggle with what they should say to children and how to help them cope.
The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the event and present it in a way that their child can understand, adjust to and handle in a healthy way.
Where to start

No matter what age or developmental stage your child is, you can start by asking what they've already heard. Most children will have heard something, no matter how old they are. After you ask them what they've heard, ask what questions they have and how they feel about what's happened.

Older children, teens, and young adults might ask more questions. They may ask for and benefit more from additional information. But no matter what age your child is, it's best to keep the dialogue straightforward and direct.

Avoiding graphic details & exposure to media

In general, it is best to share basic information with children, not graphic details, or unnecessary details about tragic circumstances. Children and adults alike want to be able to understand enough so they know what's going on. Graphic information and images should be avoided.

Keep young children away from repetitive graphic images and sounds that may appear on television, radio, social media, the internet, etc.

With older children, if they will be viewing news coverage, consider recording it ahead of time. That allows you to preview it and evaluate its contents before you sit down with them to watch it. Then, as you watch it with them, you can stop, pause and have a discussion when you need to.

Children will generally follow good advice, but you have to give them some latitude to make decisions about what they're ready for. Most children will have access to the news and graphic images through social media and the internet right from their cell phone. You need to be aware of what's out there and take steps in advance to talk to children about what they might hear or see.

Talking to very young children

The reality is that even preschool-age children will hear about major crisis events. It's best that they hear about it from a parent or caregiver, as opposed to another child or in the media, or through overheard conversations.

Even the youngest child needs accurate information, but you don't want to be too vague. Simply saying, "Something happened in a faraway town and some people got hurt," doesn't tell the child enough about what happened. The child may not understand why this is so different from people getting hurt every day and why so much is being said about it. The underlying message for a parent to convey is, "It's okay if these things bother you. We are here to support each other."

Talking to gradeschool children & teens

After asking your child what they have heard and if they have questions or concerns about what occurred during a school shooting, community bombing, natural disaster, or even a disaster in another country, a parent can say something such as:

"Yes. In [city], [state]"(and here you might need to give some context, depending on whether it's nearby or far away, for example, 'That's a city/state that's pretty far from/close to here'), there was a crisis [explain what the crisis was]and many people were hurt [add more information]. The police and the government are doing their jobs so they can try to make sure that it doesn't happen again."

You can follow-up as needed based on your child's reactions and questions.

Talking with children with developmental delays or disabilities

Parents who have a child with a developmental delay or disability should gear their responses to their child's developmental level or abilities, rather than their chronologic age. If you have a teenage child whose level of intellectual functioning is more similar to a 7-year-old, for instance, gear your response to what you might share with most 7-year-olds. Start by giving less information. Provide further information in the most appropriate and clear way you can.

Talking with children with an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

What's helpful to a child with an ASD may be different. For instance, the child may find less comfort in cuddling than some other children. Parents should try something else that does calm and comfort their child on other occasions. Ask yourself, "Given who my child is, their personality, temperament and developmental abilities and what generally helps calm them when they are worried. What might work for them?"

Signs a child might not be coping well

You may see signs that children are having difficulty adjusting. Some of things to look for are:

Sleep problems: Watch for trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, difficulty waking, nightmares or other sleep disturbances.

Physical complaints: Children may complain of feeling tired, having a headache or stomachache, or generally feeling unwell.

Changes in behavior: You may notice your child eating too much or less than usual. Look for signs of regressive behavior, including social regression, acting more immature or becoming less patient and more demanding or irritable. A child who once separated easily from their parents may become clingy. Teens may begin or change current patterns of tobacco, alcohol or substance use.

Emotional problems: Children may experience undue sadness, depression, anxiety or fears.

Sometimes it can be hard to tell if a child is reacting in a typical way to an unusual event or whether they are having significant problems coping, and might benefit from extra support. If you are concerned, talk to your child's pediatrician, your child's teacher, or a mental health professional or counselor in the school or community.

Don't wait for symptoms. Children often do a good job of hiding their distress. Start the discussion early, and keep the dialogue going.

More information

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bomb; bombing; news; media; sad news; coverage; tragedy; fire; murder; death; reporter; tv; images; video; scary; talking to children; what to say; how to explain; disaster; disasters; teachers; classroom; filter; cope; school shooting; landing_gc;

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How to Talk With Kids About Tragedies & Other Traumatic News Events

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​VIDEO - The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) encourages parents, teachers, child care providers, and others who work closely with children to filter information about the crisis and present it in a way that their child can accommodate, adjust to, and cope with.

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Use our advice for parents on how to talk to kids about violence in the media, choosing age-appropriate content, research on the effects of media violence, and more.

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Most young children enjoy pretend play and love to imitate action heroes. But many teachers, parents and child care workers say the influence of children's superhero TV shows or movies, can result in havoc when little fans get together.

Whether it's Darth Vader, the Daleks in Doctor Who or the winged monkeys in The Wizard of Oz, most of us remember seeing something on screen that we could only watch from behind a couch or under one of our parents' coats: in fact, 90 per cent of adults report an enduring memory of having been traumatized as a child by something they saw on television or in a movie. What we may not remember, however, is how serious and persistent the effects of these frightening moments and images can be. As we guide our children through their media experiences, it's important to realize that what they see can lead to problems like vivid nightmares, fear of the dark, having trouble sleeping and refusing to sleep alone.

Talking to kids about violence in the media they consume - television, movies, video games, music and the Internet - can help them put media violence into perspective and perhaps diffuse some of its power.

Talk Back! How to Take Action on Media Issues gives you the tools to talk back to media companies.

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Most young children enjoy pretend play and love to imitate action heroes. But many teachers, parents and child care workers say the influence of children's superhero TV shows or movies, can result in havoc when little fans get together.

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Top 10 Questions to Ask Your Teen About Social Media Use

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Top 10 Questions to Ask Your Teen About Social Media Use

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If you are like most parents of teenagers, you are worried about what your teens are doing online, and what they are doing on social media. It's difficult to know what to ask your teens to keep them and their information safe.

Teens are often more sophisticated than their parents when it comes to how to use social media applications, yet many teens lack the judgment and experience about how to use these applications wisely and safely.

There are many issues with social media use. Here are four safety and security rules that cover many common situations. You can share these with your teen:

1. Keep all of your accounts and your personal data secure.

2. Don't share any personal information that can jeopardize your physical or mental security or lead to identity theft.

3. If anyone or any ad/posts/images/tweets/etc. make you uncomfortable, or is a form of bullying, stalking, or harassment in any way, stop all contact and report the person, post or situation.

4. Always "be aware of what you share" online - you never know who will see it or when they'll see it, or how it will be interpreted.

Below are some basic questions you can ask your teen that support the above rules. While your teen may roll their eyes at some of these questions and say "I know that, Mom/Dad", it's still good to go over these topics as reminders.

This list does not cover all online issues that teens face, but it's a way to start a dialog.

1. Do you really know all of your friends on Facebook and followers on Twitter or Instagram? Have you ever accepted a friend request from someone you aren't sure that you know?
Think about this for a second - unless a person is famous, why would anyone want to friend or follow someone that they don't know?

Let's say that someone you don't know wants to friend or follow you. If you're lucky, they might just want to rack up a very large number of friends - just so that they can say they have 1000 or more friends. If you're unlucky, they are stealing your information or that of your friends or are stalking you.

If you answered yes to either of these questions, then "unfriend" those people.

On Facebook, "friends of friends" often have access to your information - so if you don't know the "friends" you also do not know the "friends of friends"! Do you really want to share your location, personal information, posts, photos, with people that you don't know?

This warning applies to the "People You Might Know" recommendations that Facebook offers you. If you know these people, then consider the recommendation. But if you don't know them, don't "friend" them just because Facebook recommends that you do.

2. Have you ever gotten a friend request from someone who is already your friend? And did you accept the second friend request anyway, but wondered what was going on?
If this has happened to you and you've accepted the second friend request, then check your friend's list. If you see the same friend listed twice, your friend has been hacked. The "newest" friend entry is an imposter. This is an instance of identity theft. You need to unfriend the imposter ASAP and let your real friend know.

There have been instances when an imposter has created a fake Facebook page for someone who does not have a Facebook page. Therefore the friend request from this account may seem genuine, but it's not. Therefore, if a page or the request does not seem authentic, be wary. If the page is clearly a fake, do not accept the request and consider reporting it to Facebook.

1. Do you know which bits of your personal information are publicly available (to people that you have not specifically "friended")? Have you ever checked out your page to see what it looks like to a stranger? Do you periodically check your privacy settings?
There are two issues here. The first is that you need to be aware of your privacy settings and manage them carefully. The second is that you need to periodically check your settings because social media applications have been known to change privacy settings when their privacy policy updates, or there is a software update, or there is a bug. Remember, if the application is free, then your personal data is what is valuable to the social media company Share the minimum.

Here are a few points to consider:

1. Is your account publicly available? Can anyone see your personal information? Is it just friends? Or friends of friends? Or the public?

2. Are your photos on Instagram available to everyone? Or to just approved followers?

3. Is your year of birth available to anyone? Is your address, school name, city or cell phone number publicly available? (They shouldn't be!)

4. Any of these personal variables could be combined to create your online profile, which could then lead to identity theft and/or being approached by a predator.

2. Do you have any photos on Facebook or Instagram or Snapchat that you do not want your parents, your college's admissions officer, a future employer, or a future significant other to see?
This is a critical issue that is often ignored by teens, but it bears discussing again and again. Any photo that is posted will sooner or later be seen by someone that you did not expect to see it or do not want to see it!

Once a photo is posted, shared or sent to anyone, it's in the cloud. That means it's potentially available to anyone and to everyone forever. You don't really know what happens to a photo once the photo is shared. Nor do you have any control over what happens to it.

Try doing a Google image search on your teen's name and see what shows up. Or do a search on http://findgram.com/ for Instagram photos of your teen.

3. Do you take quizzes and surveys while on Facebook?
These fun quizzes maybe collecting data about you, your friends and your friends of friends. This data can be aggregated to create a profile about you. If the survey asks questions that are too personal (such as your sexual preference, or what medical conditions you have), do not complete the survey. This data may be used in the future, not just for ads but also for other profiling purposes. (Answers to security questions can now be based on profiles that you have no control over!)

Always look for the option to determine what personal data can be collected and shared with others. Give out as little information as possible.

I'm sure your teens are tired about hearing about managing their passwords. No one likes dealing with passwords. Why are questions about passwords good to bring up? Even if teens (or anyone) take great care with privacy settings and what they post, if their accounts are hacked, then all kinds of damage can be done. Therefore a key to online safety is to keep all of your accounts secure. So if your teen replies that they know all about passwords, the following questions are good to go over anyway!

1. When was the last time you changed your password?
Change it frequently and make sure the password is neither simple nor obvious! Security professionals recommend changing passwords every three months. Yes, this can be difficult and cumbersome to do.

Why is this important? It's been reported that 600,000 Facebook accounts are compromised each day. This also happens with Twitter accounts. Password hacking tools are easily available (do a Google search and see).

If you want enhanced security for your Facebook account, consider using "Login Approvals". With this feature, you receive a security code on your phone when there is login attempt on your account from an unknown browser or from a different computer. You must enter this code into the different browser or computer to continue. A hacker will not have access to this code since it's only sent to your mobile phone, and thus will not be able to break into your account. This extra security procedure is a form of two-factor authentication. See Security Settings in Facebook for more information.

2. Does your password contain general words or phrases or place names or dates that you have posted online, or that are available in your social media profile?
For example, does your password contain the name of your pet? And do you write about your pet on Facebook? (Pet names are too commonly used for passwords!) Password hackers scour posts for ideas for passwords. Too many people have passwords that are too easy to guess. Keep your passwords cryptic!

3. Do you use the same user name and/or password for multiple social media applications?
Don't do this! If one of your sites/application is compromised, then your other applications are at risk!

4. Have you lied about your age to gain access to a social media application?
By respecting the age limit, you protect yourself from seeing content that is inappropriate for your real age - such as in ads. According to the Pew Research Center, 30% of teens reported in a survey that they have been exposed to ads that were not age-appropriate. So the age restrictions are there to protect you.

5. Have you ever received a message (of any type), asking you to log in and verify something on one of your social media applications?
If so, do not follow the URL (or link) that's given. It's most likely going to a fake site/app that looks just like the real one. They are "phishing" for your confidential information. This phishing also applies to bank accounts and similar sites. And if the message contains an attachment, don't open it! It's probably malware. Do not believe all of the messages that you receive.

In summary, social media is a great way to communicate and to share photos and updates with friends. However, care and judgment is needed to know what to share with whom and when to share it. Once shared, that image or info can never be retrieved - it's no longer private. Hopefully these questions will help open up a dialog with your teen so that they can enjoy the benefits of social media safely.
http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/17/books/review/future-crimes-by-marc-goo... http://www.pewinternet.org/2013/05/21/teens-social-media-and-privacy

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Top Ten Questions To Ask Your Teen About Their Social Media Use

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If you are like most parents of teenagers, you are worried about what your teens are doing online, and what they are doing on social media. It's difficult to know what to ask your teens to keep them and their information safe.

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As a parent, you know all about stress. Your children feel and experience stress too - and they need your help to deal with it in healthy ways.

When kids are juggling schoolwork, sports, extracurricular activities, music lessons and any other number of time commitments, they can become overwhelmed.

And if changes are taking place at home that will force your child to adapt to a new situation - such as a move to a new house or a new sibling - life can feel hard to manage.

You can teach your child coping skills in simple ways, says Beth Esposito, MS, LPCC-S, LSW, Samaritan Behavioral Health. It's also important for parents to get a handle on their own stress.

"If we want kids to manage stress, then we as parents need to model that for them," says Esposito.

Signs of Stress

The first step toward helping your children deal with stress is to recognize when certain situations are having a negative effect on them. How do you know if your child is stressed out? You may notice subtle or obvious changes in their behavior, Esposito says.

Children can show physical and emotional symptoms in response to stress, including:

Changes in eating habits

Upset stomach

Headache

Nightmares

Trouble sleeping

Bedwetting

Anxiety and worry

Inability to relax

Not taking part in favorite activities

New fears

Anger and crying

Trouble controlling emotions

Aggressive or stubborn behavior

Ask your child what's going on, but be careful to phrase the questions in a way that is not shaming, says Esposito.

"Do not frame questions with a 'Why,' because asking why shifts blame to the child," she says.

How Parents Can Help

You can educate your children to deal with stress by being a role model. Esposito encourages parents to do their best to keep their own stress under control and manage it in healthy ways.

The home environment and how you talk with and interact with your child also makes a difference, Esposito says. Try following these tips:

Stay calm and spend relaxing time with your children.

Create an organized, safe and secure home environment.

Keep the lines of communication open.

Get regular physical activity (a walk, tossing a baseball) to ease stress.

Family routines, like a movie night or dinner together, can provide comfort and relieve or prevent stress.

Talk with your child about coming changes, such as with jobs or a move.

Listen to your child without trying to solve their problem and without being critical.

Work with your child to help them understand and solve what is upsetting to them.

Build your child's feelings of self-worth through encouragement, affection and rewards.

Try to involve your child in activities where they can succeed.

Give children the chance to make decisions about events in their lives. A sense of control can improve a child's response to stress.

Help your child learn from mistakes and failures.

Monitor the TV shows, books and games your child consumes to avoid violence or upsetting content, especially right before bedtime.

You can educate your children to deal with stress by being a role model.

Strategies for Children

As children get older, they can begin to recognize when stress is taking a toll. Children as young as 8 can be taught to listen to their bodies and take steps to reduce stress, including:

Make time to relax, alone or with friends.

Talk with a trusted adult if there is too much on their plate.

Make sure they get enough sleep.

Listen to music. When children respond to music in a positive way it can help to level out the body's circadian rhythm and improve sleep.

Take time to breathe.

"Teaching someone to breathe when they are stressed sounds simple and silly but it can really work," says Esposito. "Smaller children may not realize that they hold their breath when they are anxious."

Esposito suggests this calming breath exercise:

Breathe in through the nose

Hold your breath for a count of 5

Exhale through the mouth for a count of 5

"This really does change your body chemistry and help your brain believe that you can cope - and you can," Esposito says.

Another coping strategy you can try is teaching your child to sit down when he feels anxious, instead of standing up. Not moving decreases energy in the body, which can be helpful, especially if a child is revving up for a panic attack.

The Importance of Family Time

Your entire family can work together to create a less stressful household. Esposito says research shows that even small moments of togetherness and face-to-face time with loved ones brings lots of benefits.

Some ideas include:

A family bike ride, walk or hike

A family dinner a few nights a week

Watching a TV show or movie together

Taking a family trip or going on an outing together

Setting the same time every day when all devices or smartphones go on their chargers and stick to it

Adding a family pet (when managed correctly)

"Family bonding time or the shared responsibility of caring for a pet increases the positive vibes in a household and decreases overall feelings of stress and anxiety," Esposito says.

Let Your Child Be In Control

Children - and even adults - feel in control if they sense there is someone who understands them.

Sometimes, your child may find this sense of comfort apart from you, with a grandparent, an aunt or uncle or another trusted adult. While it may be difficult, Esposito says parents should allow their child to foster that relationship so that they have a go-to person and a sense of belonging.

"The best thing any child can have growing up - and to be able to manage themselves and their stress - is that they identify and belong to a family and a team," Esposito says."

That sense of belonging can also come from a group of friends. Older children and adolescents need time to hang out with people who let them be themselves, where they can flat-out laugh and let loose. Such times are "helpful for a child to deal with the stress on their own," Esposito says.

When to See a Doctor

Sometimes your child may need additional help from a doctor to better deal with stress. A general guideline to follow, Esposito says, is if your child is not functioning at her normal baseline and the changes have lasted for more than two weeks.

It's time to call your pediatrician when your child:

Shows major changes in physical or emotional behavior

Is becoming withdrawn, depressed or more unhappy

Is not functioning in major life areas such as school or their usual social circles

Cannot control his behavior or anger

"As a parent, it's not always easy to ask for outside help, but it doesn't mean you are a bad parent," Esposito says. "So many times as parents we are faced with things we didn't dream we would be dealing with."

Meeting and talking with a doctor or counselor can help you and your child find the strength to deal with whatever is causing the stress and give your family the tools you need to manage stress when similar situations.

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Stress Relief for Kids: What You Can Do | Premier Health

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As a parent, you know all about stress. Your children feel and experience stress too - and they need your help to deal with it in healthy ways. When kids are juggling schoolwork, sports, extracurricular activities, music lessons and any other number of time commitments, they can become overwhelmed.

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NCTSN Parent Guide - Child Traumatic Stress

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NCTSN Parent Guide - Child Traumatic Stress

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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The National Child Traumatic Stress Network

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Understanding Child Traumatic Stress: A Guide for Parents

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Offers parents information about child traumatic stress (CTS), the best way to treat CTS, what parents can do at home for their children, and how parents can make sure their children receive support at school.