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"She just needs to talk more in class."

Those were the words a frustrated mother shared with me during one of my first parent-teacher conferences. The mother's goal was for her child to speak up more in class. That was it. In her mother's opinion, that's all the daughter needed to be more successful in school; she just needed to break out of her shell. I thought to myself, "Well, that seems easy enough."

Oh, my naivety.

As an inexperienced teacher (and strong extrovert myself), it seemed logical to not question the validity of this parent's request. At that time, I equated students who actively spoke in class as the bright and engaged learners. If I'm honest, and if you follow the logic of that belief system, then I probably considered those students who spoke up less in class as less enthusiastic and engaged learners.

I cringe as I type that.

I think both my student's mom and I were well-intentioned, though our actions were ill-informed. The mother was a strong extrovert and played a prominent role in our school's parent association. She was outgoing, popular, and bounced around the school with a joyful enthusiasm that seemed to be contagious to everyone around her.

Yet it wasn't.

Her extroversion was not contagious nor did it rub off on her daughter. And if anything, this student felt her mother's expectations to match her extroverted personality, which carried a burden of weight on this 10-year old's shoulders.

How can you be someone you're not?

In reflection, I recognize that the daughter was an engaged and thoughtful listener, who was artistic both musically and in drawing. While the daughter had one or two good friends, which may have been a disappointment to her mother,those friendships were as strong and deep as any in my class. These admirable qualities needed to be lifted up instead of buried in an attempt to 'make' this student more extroverted.

As an extrovert, my journey to better understand the dynamic minds of introverts continues to this day. Since my wonderful wife is an introvert, this learning is occurring not just in my classrooms, but now in my home on a daily basis.

And here is what am I learning...
RESEARCH TELLS US.
Accurate Descriptions of Introverts.There is no universal definition for introverts and extroverts. However, Susan Cain, the best-selling author of Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking, shares some descriptors common among introverts including:

-Introverted individuals prefer time alone to recharge after engaging in social settings.

-Introverts feel 'just right'with less stimulation.

-They often work slowly and deliberately. Introverted folks like to focus on one task with the mighty power ofconcentration.

-They listen more than they talk, and think before they speak.

-Introverts often feel as if they express themselves better in writing than in conversation.

-They can value and feel more equipped for deep conversations than small talk.

Common Misconceptions of Introverts. There are a variety of misconceptions about introverts, including:

-Introverts don't like people. This is simply untrue, they just tend to value smaller groups of friends.

-Introverts don't like social settings. Again this is unfounded, as introverts value deep conversations with people, though need time afterward to recharge.

-Introverts are shy. Being shy relates to the fear of social rejection. Instead, introverts are just selective in their friendship circles.

-It's easy to identify introverts. You may be surprised by people who identify as introverted, as they may be very active in social settings. Again, the key to introversion is understanding that all folks can be successful in social settings, it may just take more energy for introverts.

-Cain notes that between one-third to half of the population are introverts. Think about that. Up to one-half of our students may identify as being introverted.

The question is, do our classrooms and practice support the unique needs of these students?
TRY THIS:
1. Reflect upon our own bias regarding introverts. When we think of these students, do we associate them as shy, timid, or even weak? If so, we need to educate ourselves to interrupt these negative stereotypes.

2. Tally our daily feedback to introverts. Do we spend more time building upon their strengths or more time subconsciously trying to transform them into being more extroverted?
3. Design our lessons to support the needs of all learners, introverts included.
-Do we include deliberate quiet time to think and reflect?

-Instead of emphasizing constant group work, do we also include independent and pair work?

-Do we encourage introverts' voices to be heard through writing, blogging, creating podcasts,and video reflections?

-Do we provide introverted students with some advance notice regarding questions they will answer out loud in class?

4. Do we value "more" as better? Do we assume that it's better to share out loud more (regardless of the quality of ideas), have more friends, and provide students with more classroom stimulus and options? If so, we are subconsciously reinforcing society's message that values extroverted characteristics over the preferences of introverts.

5. Do we use language that assumes being an introvert is something students need to fix? The following are examples of common teacher language with a negative introvert bias:

"She's just so quiet, I wish she would speak up more."

"She just needs to come out of her box."

"I'm concerned that he doesn't have a bigger group of friends."

"If he was just more outgoing, he would be a great leader."

6. Do we strive to stretch extroverts outside of their comfort zones as often as we do with introverted students? Yes, introverts need to learn skills that may come more natural to extroverted students (success in collaborative settings and verbally communicating their ideas). By the same token, extroverted students need to be challenged in areas that may come more naturally to introverts (think carefully before sharing and listen deliberately before speaking).

I would love to hear about your thoughts and experiences when working with students who are introverts. Share yourcomments below.

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6 Ways Extroverted Teachers Can Support Introverted Students

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"She just needs to talk more in class." Those were the words a frustrated mother shared with me during one of my first parent-teacher conferences. The mother's goal was for her child to speak up more in class. That was it.

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The other day when I was taking the elevator down to my car, there was a middle-aged man who was extremely talkative. He walked into the elevator and immediately said, "How's everyone doing today?"...

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Introvert vs. Extrovert ~ Several Common Myths

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I am an introvert that can be an extrovert if it is absolutely, positively necessary. I tend to spend my time reading, writing, exploring the ideas that pop int

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A common question I get in media appearances for The Successful Entrepreneur: American dream done right (Glenbridge Publishing, LLC is, "is there an entrepreneurial personality?" The answer is "Yes." Entrepreneurs are different from the people who prefer the security of a job working for someone else. Entrepreneurs, like all people, are complex and show a combination of personality traits that can predict success and happiness with the entrepreneurial lifestyle.

Why? Entrepreneurial personality is made up of several factors including personality type, decision making skills, ability to handle stress and uncertainty, and sociability. In addition to having experience in the business area, adequate working capital and cash reserves, an established customer base, a robust market, excellent products or services, a good economy, and, perhaps most importantly, the guts to dive into uncertain economic waters head first. That's quite a lot, and successful entrepreneurs are people who are able to handle quite a lot--and then some.

A frequent topic on my appearances in Jim Blasingame's Small Business Advocate radio show is entrepreneurial personality. In this series, I'll examine in-depth the psychology of entrepreneurship, including decision making and handling stress and uncertainty. For now, I'll relate personality type and business ownership.

One of the best tools for looking at entrepreneurial personality type is the MBTI ® , based on Carl Jung's theory of personality. The MBTI is the world's most popular psychological test and is given over 2 million times a year. If you're interested in your own personality type, take the test at no cost by clicking on the link below from HumanMetrics. The best test is the Consulting Psychologist's Press, Inc. version. You can take that version for a small fee. Check cpp.com for more info.

The MBTI measures four areas. For each area, each of us has a preference for one or the other.

INTROVERT OR EXTROVERT - This concerns our sociability, communication patterns, and motivation.

SENSING OR INTUITIVE - How much detail we need to feel comfortable.

THINKING OR FEELING - How we want to world to perceive us? Our preference for emotional vs. logical decisions.

JUDGING OR PERCEIVING - This concerns our views on time, particularly as it relates to decision making.

Within each pair, each of us has a preference. For example, after reading the descriptions below for Introvert and Extrovert, you might think, extrovert describes me more often than not, or you might feel Introvert is a better fit for you. If the descriptions seem dead-on for you, you have a strong preference. I you feel you have both Introvert and Extrovert characteristics, with maybe one a little more strongly than the other, you likely have a less definite preference. Don't be surprised: No one is a pure type: even strong Extroverts have a few Introvert's traits and vice versa.

Let's take a look at the four areas. But first, if you haven't taken the HumanMetrics version at http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp do so. You can relate the descriptions to your own MBTI type.

Now that you've taken it, your score will be four letters each representing one of the two types listed above. With four areas and one preference in each area, there are 16 personality types. (N is the abbreviation for the Intuitive type because the I is used for Introvert.) They are:

Now that you've taken the test, here's some detail on what those letters mean for you and your business or possible new venture.

The first set of letters is either an E (Extrovert) or I (Introvert). What do these traits mean to entrepreneurs?

Extroverts are motivated by being with people; Introverts, by being alone. Neither way is better or worse; just different. Extroverts say what's on their minds, and speak their thoughts quickly. Introverts tend to filter what they say internally before speaking and think to themselves for about 10 seconds before they respond.

One of the biggest shockers for entrepreneurs is how much time they spend selling. The cash register is the focal point of any business. Entrepreneurs are instantly sales reps and sale managers and can spend most of their time in those roles, which is why there is an entire section dedicated to sales and sales management in The Successful Entrepreneur.

All that human interaction will be natural and energizing for Extroverts. However, Introverts can be great salespeople, too. Sales success has little to do with type and has much more to do with product knowledge and being customer focused. Sales enjoyment, however, has much to do with type. Would you like to talk about your product or service to many people every day for several hours, often answering the same 10-20 questions again and again as if it's for the first time? Extroverts are likely to say yes, while Introverts are more likely to say that's not for them.

Strong Introverts will find sales exhausting. Will all that talking be worth the revenue it brings in? That depends on the person - however it's important to ask that question and answer it honestly.

As mentioned above, Extroverts tend to answer questions immediately. However, if they are talking, the customer isn't. If you ask if someone has a question, wait 10 seconds to answer. Why? That's how long Introverts take to form a question in their mind. Extroverts should count to themselves for about 10 seconds, which can seem like an eternity. But without doing that, you'll find there are many questions you could have answered, but didn't.

As far as personality type, Extroverts will tend to like selling. This will increase the number of calls made, which is positive. But they can also find they spend a lot of time schmoozing with friends instead of doing the hard work of selling - they need to balance the two.

A lot depends of the type of business one starts as well. Introverts will flourish when they start a business like contract programming or design or landscaping where they'll be spending the majority of their time alone or dealing with the same people time and again. Introverts like having few customers and nurturing them - they are more like shepherds.

Extroverts will want to start businesses that require much more interaction. Anything sales oriented or customer service driven will be for them. Running a B&B, starting an insurance agency, or running an ad agency are more down the Extroverts' alley.

Of course, you can't clump the world into two piles of Introvert and Extrovert and make broad generalizations. Below is a list of common occupations of Introverts and Extroverts, which, of course, doesn't mean that if you're an Extrovert, you can't start a car repair shop. However, you must know that that type of job will give you less human interaction during work hours that you might find ideal. Likewise, if you're an Introvert, your dream might be to start your own insurance agency. You must realize that you will be speaking to people in-person and on the phone all day long and you may find that exhausting.

The Introvert/Extrovert preference is the first of four preferences. Next we'll look at the Sensing Intuitive preference.

The second pair of letters is Sensing (S) or Intuitive (N).

Sensing types like facts and details. Intutitives like the big picture. When describing an apple, Sensing types will say that it's red, round, has a stem and seeds. They will use their senses and describe what it is. They are matter-of-fact "give me the data" people. They tend to be very good at noticing things. Intuitives, when describing an apple, will give associations like apple trees, apple computers, New York City (the big Apple) and Adam and Eve, but never mention that it's red.

Sensing types want to know how things work before they can fully understand what they are good for. Intuitives are the opposite; they want to know function and often don't care how things work. Before signing a tax return, Sensing types will want their accountants to go over every aspect of it so they'll know what they're signing. Intutititves just want to know how much they're paying in taxes and are overwhelmed at the thought of understanding a tax return and hope the state did a good job vetting accountants during the licensing exam.

Sensing/Intuitive is like Introvert/Extrovert in that various types tend to gravitate toward different professions. Accountants, programmers, and bankers tend to gravitate toward detail-oriented professions and you'll find many more sensing types. Intuitives find themselves in more creative professions like advertising, psychology, and marketing.

Take a look at the list below - and the same caveat applies- don't pigeonhole yourself, but based on a large sample, you can find that people in various professions can gravitate toward professions and those are the types of businesses you should consider owning.

The third MBTI personality area is the Thinking/Feeling preference.

Thinking types like to make decisions logically and unemotionally. They want the world to think they make smart decisions. They're willing to sacrifice short-term pain for long-term gain. "Take your medicine. It's good for you" is their rallying cry. Feeling types like harmony and try to include stakeholders in decisions. They want the world to think they make compassionate decisions.

Thinking types try to depersonalize and compartmentalize as much as they can and try to make the decisions that make the most sense, independent of how popular the decision might be. They like their decisions to be rule governed. They value logic.

Feeling types try to empathize when they make decisions, and hate rule-governed choices. They care about the human element in any decision.

Take a look at the list below. Many Feeling types prefer to start service businesses or businesses with the ability to improve people's lives. Thinking types might prefer a tech start up or a business that involves a lot of problem-solving.

The final type is the fourth letter combinations (J) Judging or (P) Perceiving. Judging types like schedules and deadlines and keeping to them. They like planning, organizing, and closure, or the sense that a decision is complete. They're the types who arrive five or ten minutes early for meetings. They have lunch at noon because noon is lunch time. In school, they prepared their assignments well before the due dates except for some final editing the day before.

Perceiving types have a more general sense of time, dislike closure, and will want to put off decisions until they've had time to think them through. If there's a meeting at 4:00, they're more likely to say at 4:10, "I have to get going; the meeting has started." They'll have their first meal of the day at 3:00 PM. In school, these folks would cram for tests and spend all night writing a term paper the day it was due.

IMPLICATIONS FOR ENTREPRENEURS

If you are the type of person who is very deadline-oriented and likes planning and getting things done on time, or better still, early, consider one of the Judging professions. If you're the type of person who likes a more relaxed schedule and thrives under pressure because you waited until the last moment, then a Perceiving profession is more for you.

The MBTI tool isn't good for labeling, but it can be very good for predicting the types of businesses you'll be happy giving your heart and soul to for thousands of hours. Because of that, the MBTI is very useful for predicting entrepreneurial happiness.

You may pick a venture that goes outside your type, but carefully consider if the struggles outweigh the benefits. There are many examples of people who started businesses outside their types, because they liked being their own bosses, or because of the financial rewards that came with owning that business.

has worked with small businesses for over 25 years and the title of his fourth book is The Successful Entrepreneur: American Dream Done Right. Copyright 2012, author retains ownership. All Rights Reserved.

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Tom Anastasi writes about the personality of an entrepreneur and how they are different from people who prefer the security of a job working for someone else. By analyzing your personality and taking the MBTI® personality test you can decide if you have an entrepreneurial personality.

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Tracy Kennedy
Lifehack's Personal Development Expert, a results-driven coach dedicated to helping people achieve greater levels of happiness and success. Read full profile

I have always had an adverse reaction to negative emotions. I never liked feeling sad, mad or scared. I prefer things to be positive and cheerful - some would say rainbows and sunshine. A lot of this has to do with my upbringing; I grew up in a family who focused on being positive, encouraging and optimistic.

When I was upset, I looked at the bright side. When I was scared, I pushed through it. When I was sad, I got over it. It's not that I've had an easy life, devoid of heartbreak, grief and challenges. I've had plenty of those. It's just that I never decided to focus on that side of things. I thought it was all good. Until it wasn't.

Several years ago, I found myself facing anxiety for the first time. And not just a little anxiety. We're talking paralyzing, full-on panic that I had no control over. At one point, I didn't want my husband to leave for work in the morning. If you've ever suffered from anxiety, you know how hard this can be. As someone who has always been adventurous, rarely felt the full force of fear and wired for positivity, this was NOT me and I had no idea what to do.

What I learned (that I have always known, but maybe never fully understood) as I worked through that anxiety, was that it was a symptom. A symptom that something wasn't working in my life. It was nature's way of telling me I was off track. There was too much on my plate, I wasn't taking great care of myself and I needed to slow down.

I may not have slowed down if I wasn't hit by this spiritual 2×4 of negative emotion. I may have been able to push through many of the 'negative' emotions in my life, but some of them were really just pushed down.

I've come to learn that negative emotions are neither good nor bad. They are not actually negative; they just feel that way. They are part of life, of being human.

We need to provide space to allow that life is going to be difficult, challenging and incredibly hard sometimes, which leads to uncomfortable or negative emotions. We need to learn to acknowledge, embrace and understand what those emotions are trying to tell us. We need to learn the power and value of these emotions.

Before we dive into this further, I want to make sure you know I am not a therapist or psychologist. These are my experiences of negative emotions for myself, hundreds of people I've worked with, and from research and learnings I've had over the years. I want to honor and not underestimate the complexity of human emotions. They have been studied by philosophers, psychologists and scientists for thousands of years - each with their own and often competing theories.

With that said, let's take a look some negative emotions, why they aren't so negative after all and how to embrace them to live a more fulfilled life.

What Are Negative Emotions?

Negative emotions are any emotions that cause you to feel badly in one way or another. Anger, fear, sadness, despair, frustration, guilt, shame, disgust, disappointment...You name it. We all feel these emotions. Whether you acknowledge them or not, they are there.

In the 1970's, psychologist Paul Eckman (best known for studying facial expressions and how they relate to emotions) identified six basic emotions: happiness, sadness, disgust, fear, surprise and anger. Interesting that four out of six of these fall into the 'negative' category.

In 1980, Psychologist Robert Plutchik identified eight basic emotions: joy, sadness, trust, disgust, fear, anger, anticipation and surprise. Again, four of these eight might be considered negative.

They both went on to expand the range of emotions to include many others. Dr. Plutchik expanded his findings through the wheel of emotions (below) to illustrate the spectrum, degrees and relationships among these emotions.

If you Google it, you could find a list of the top 10, top 20 and more emotions, but for the sake of our sanity, we can start with these.

Why Negative Emotions Aren't All That Negative

While negative emotions may feel bad, they're not so bad for us after all. Here are seven reasons why negative emotions aren't all that bad.

1. They're normal.

We are going to start here, because, somewhere along the way, experiencing negative emotions became a bad thing. In a world where we are encouraged to be present, grateful and happy (which I agree with as well), perhaps we are doing ourselves a disservice by not talking about the fact that negative emotions are a natural and unavoidable part of life.

This leads us to feel even worse when we do feel them. Experiencing different 'moods' is all part of being human.

It's time to re-assess the role of bad moods in our lives. We should recognize they are a normal and even useful and adaptive part of being human; they help us cope with many everyday situations and challenges.

2. They serve a purpose and have a positive intention.

If you research the underlying purpose behind negative emotions, they all have one thing in common:

They have served an evolutionary purpose for our survival, health or well-being.

For example, fear is our signal that something is wrong and protects us from danger and allows us to survive. Sadness enhances feelings of connection and empathy and builds community. Disgust provides an adverse reaction and steers us away from things that could cause harm or be contagious. Shame and guilt urge us to do the right thing and correct our wrongs. Anger is a protection mechanism that inspires action and causes us to do something to change a situation.

Surely, without these emotions, we would not be where we are as a species. All these emotions are things we need to feel attuned to help us survive and grow. While they may feel negative, they all have an underlying, positive intention, a reason for being. We need to seek to identify what that positive intention is.

In addition, our negative emotions prompt us to grow. To be better partners, better friends. To grow, progress. They make us better people and drive change in our lives.

3. They're a warning signal.

They identify something that's going on - our true self, our inner nature and natural state is one of peace, calm and connection.

However, when we're out of alignment with our natural and best way, we experience negative emotions as signals that we're off track. They are telling us, "Hey, listen up, somethings not right here, you're going off track".

'Milder' negative emotions such as frustration, apprehension or annoyance can be early warning signals that something's not working for you. Leave those alone long enough and they'll start to get louder. Perhaps you'll start to feel anger, resentment or fear. Leave those alone too long and they're out of control - you may experience rage, loathing, anxiety, depression.

I always liken this to a toddler who needs your attention. They'll tug on your leg quietly seeking your attention. If you ignore them or don't pay attention, they start to whine. Ignore them further, or push their needs to the side, you'll start to get screaming, crying and eventually a full-on temper tantrum.

The fear and anxiety I experienced was a (late) warning signal that the path I was on was unsustainable, even if my conscious mind thought I was all 'all good'. I was way off track and needed to slow down.

Some negative emotions aren't signs we are off track or out of alignment, but signs we are doing the wrong thing. Think about when you feel shame or guilt. These are signals that you're doing the 'wrong thing' or something out of integrity. A few weeks ago, my 7-year-old daughter came home saying she felt ashamed of something. That was a strong word to use and my first reaction was to comfort her to remove that awful feeling.

But then I asked her why. As she explained what happened, I realized that what she was feeling was quite healthy. The guilt was telling her she was doing the wrong thing - in this case, it was a self-correcting mechanism. Our discussion became less about absolving the bad feeling and more about learning from her mistakes and doing the 'right thing' next time.

4. They inspire action.

They are a catalyst for change and movement. What happens when you get really mad? You take action.

Maybe you get passed up for the latest promotion. You're mad. You felt you deserved it and you're angry you didn't get it. That anger prompts you to talk to your boss (in a courteous and professional way, of course) about your skills, accomplishments, successes so she can see your point of view and doesn't pass you by next time.

Perhaps you wouldn't have spoken up so clearly if you weren't angry?

Anger has been used throughout history as a positive catalyst for change. Many great leaders have harnessed their anger to stand up for what they believe in and to demand justice and change. Martin Luther King Jr. said,

"The supreme task is to organize and unite people so that their anger becomes a transforming force."

Our anger can be a transforming force for good on a small, person scale (as in the case above) and a much more widespread scale (such as Dr. King). When someone treats you or others unfairly, and you feel angry, you can harness that anger to stand up and correct the situation.

Negative emotions create fire in your belly - they motivate you to be productive, solve problems, stand up for what you believe in, gain back your personal power and make changes that propel you - or maybe even society - in a different direction.

I love this quote from Arun Gandhi (grandson of Mahatma Gandhi):

"Use your anger for good. Anger to people is like gas to the automobile - it fuels you to move forward and get to a better place. Without it, we would not be motivated to rise to a challenge. It is an energy that compels us to define what is just and unjust."

5. They allow you to live wholeheartedly.

Many of the world's ancient wisdom traditions, philosophers and psychologists have valued and been intrigued by the light-dark, negative-positive, shadow aspects of our selves.

Think about the concept of yin and yang in Chinese philosophy:

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"It describes how seemingly opposite or contrary forces may actually be complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they may give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another."

You know the movie Inside Out? I'm embarrassed to admit this, but I'll share it anyway. When the movie first came out, I didn't want my kids to see it. Why? Because I didn't want any emphasis placed on 'negative' emotions: fear, anger and sadness. Why couldn't they just make a movie about JOY? Joy is awesome. Add in happy, grateful and excited and now we have a movie I want to take my kids to see.

Then I watched Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it wasn't until then that I fully realized how important it is to feel all of our emotions. In her talk, she shares that to live wholeheartedly, we must feel the full range of emotions. The positive: joy, gratitude, happiness. And the not so positive: grief, fear, shame, disappointment.

You can't selectively feel emotion. So, for us to live as wholehearted human beings, we need to feel and express our full range of emotions. After all, how can you really appreciate the joy of happiness if you haven't suffered the pain of sadness?

And as my daughter reminded me, in the movie Inside Out, guess who saves the day? Sadness. Yes, it's sadness who saves the day.

6. They provide release.

"What the mind conceals, the body reveals".

When we conceal or try to hide or ignore emotions, they don't just go away. They go deep within us. They eat at us. They cause ulcers, back pain, sickness. That 'sudden' heart attack, 'unexplained' high blood pressure or 'unexpected' anxiety may not be so inexplicable after all.

Feeling our emotions allows us to release the feeling and move forward. My chiropractor, Dr. Ruth Ziemba once said,

"Feel them, but don't let them become you."

This has served me well. I think we have all feared those painful emotions of guilt, anger, grief, hopelessness would mean we would fall into a never-ending pit of despair from which may never emerge.

I have worried I would go too far down the rabbit hole and never make it back to see the light of day. But in order to move on, we must feel and release them. Once we 'expose' them, they have much less control over us.

Rich Roskopf, a bodyworker , trainer, massage and movement specialist, shared something that resonated deeply with me. He was studying the meditation work of Guy Armstrong, author of "Emptiness" and the philosophy that everything needs to arise, persist and pass.

The same is true for our emotions. When we allow the feelings to arise and persist, they will pass. Grasping, clinging and pushing them down will always lead to unhappiness.

Even a good cry can help. We have three different types of tears and the ones produced when we cry can make you feel better. Tears cried in sadness contain a chemical that is toxic to our body.

"Emotional crying is the body's way of ridding itself of these toxins and waste products."

In Japan, they even have 'crying rooms' and 'crying events' which serve to help participants ease stress levels and release emotion.

7. They build resilience.

The more you experience the full range of emotions, the more resilient you become to facing and dealing with them.

Jessie Dudley, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and Program Manager at the Mental Health Center of Denver, had this to say.

"By allowing yourself to feel everything you need to feel, you learn how to cope and build your toolbox of coping strategies. Then, next time you feel that same feeling, you know what to do and what works for you. You realize the feeling won't kill you. It doesn't' make the sensation any less, but it makes you more aware of how to respond to it.

If you don't build coping skills, when you feel those emotions, you want to push them away. Emotional avoidance is effective to an extent. Really, everybody tries to avoid feeling badly. But the more you avoid, the less coping skills you're developing. The less you are able to cope, the more afraid you become of the emotions, which leads to a vicious cycle of pushing them down. In many cases, people may turn to other unhealthy ways to cope, including addictions and substance abuse.

Remember this: we are constantly evolving. Your coping skills will evolve and grow too."

As Jessie shared, When you face negative emotions and learn effective coping skills, you feel stronger and more capable to deal with them in the future.

As a mother, this is particularly relevant. I once read that our job as parents is not to protect our kids from disappointment, it's to be there for them when disappointment happens. If our kids don't learn healthy ways to cope with negative emotions, they will struggle throughout life to manage them.

How to Embrace Negative Emotions and Turn Them into Positive Motivation

Here's a process you can use. Let's call it the ACDC Method.

A - Acknowledge and honor the emotion

Feel it but don't let it become you. Let it arise, persist and pass. Sit with it. Your instinct will be to push it away. (Seriously, who wants to feel like crap?)

But once you acknowledge it, you can move forward. If you feel uncomfortable or unsafe feeling what's coming up, you may want to reach out to a therapist or someone who can create a safe space to experience your emotions.

C - Consider the positive intention of the emotion

Is it showing up as an early warning signal (or a late one), a catalyst for positive change, a protection or survival mechanism?

Identify the positive intention behind the emotion.

D - Double check your story

Sometimes our negative emotions are warranted, but sometimes they are misplaced. Make sure to check them out.

If you're feeling worried, is there really something to worry about or has worrying become a bad habit? If you're feeling angry at someone, do you have all the facts? Perhaps it's a miscommunication or misunderstanding. If you're feeling sad or defeated, is there a story you keep telling yourself that is not true? Before you dive in, make sure to double check the depth of the water.

C - Choose your action

Once you acknowledge, understand and double-check the emotion, think about what action you can take.

Maybe you thank the fear for keeping you safe. Perhaps you harness your anger and stop putting up with something that is impacting your life or health. Maybe you use your frustration to move forward in a new direction. Or, employ your guilt to right a wrong.

In some cases, your action may be to do nothing at all other than feel you're feeling. That's okay, too.

When Negative Emotions Become Bad...

It would be remiss of me not to acknowledge the varying levels of negative emotions that can occur.

Too much guilt can be paralyzing. Too much sadness is depression. Too much anger can lead to rage. Too much fear can lead to anxiety.

Experiencing some level of these negative emotions is normal. Experiencing ongoing and excessive levels of these emotions can be a signal that something much deeper needs to be addressed.

If you're feeling persistent negative emotions or your emotions are significantly interfering with your life, please reach out to your doctor, therapist or specialist for help and support.

Conclusion

To experience all of these emotions is what makes us human.

What if we could take off the label of negative emotions? What if they weren't bad? What if they were all just emotions? Negative. Positive. Neutral. We have all sorts of different emotions.

Let's just feel them. Listen to them. Acknowledge, honor, accept them. Seek to understand what they are trying to tell us, so we can harness them to live our best lives.

Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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10 Quality Traits All Introverts Have, Even If They Don't Know It

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Tracy Kennedy Lifehack's Personal Development Expert, a results-driven coach dedicated to helping people achieve greater levels of happiness and success. Read full profile I have always had an adverse reaction to negative emotions. I never liked feeling sad, mad or scared. I prefer things to be positive and cheerful - some would say rainbows and sunshine.

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BEING SHY IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING INTROVERTED
In this post I want to talk about a psychological topic that is not very well understood by most people, namely the difference between shyness and introversion. Being an introvert myself, I know what it feels like when others misunderstand my behaviour as shy or aloof and I cringe when my introvert friends try to make themselves act more 'extrovert' in order to fit social norms. At the same time, people who are truly shy should know that, unlike introversion, shyness is not something they were born with and that it can definitely be 'unlearned'.
SHYNESS
- Shy people suffer from a lack of confidence in social situations and a fear of what other people think of them. - A certain level of shyness is natural (pretty much everyone feels nervous about speaking in front of a large group). Shyness only constitutes a problem if you feel seriously inhibited and avoid situations even if they are really important. - Shyness can be situation-dependent, e.g. some people are only shy in group discussions or one-on-one situations. - Both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Actually, shy extroverts tend to suffer the most because they need a lot of social contact, yet are scared of it at the same time. - Shyness usually stems from past experiences (you aren't born with it), and can definitely be reduced with the right techniques.

If you want to be less shy you need to: increase you confidence + retrain your emotional responses

You can do this by 1. Exposing yourself to the situation you fear (exposure to something lessens the intensity of your response to it). 2. Setting yourself goals and achieving them one-by-one, to build confidence. 3. Reminding yourself of positive experiences and your abilities. 4. Building a good support system (friends, family, etc.). 5. Visualising the scary situation beforehand and practising what you will say and do, so you feel prepared.
INTROVERSION
- Extroversion and introversion are dispositional temperaments on a continuum that describes how we derive our energy. - Introverts are energised by spending time alone, while extroverts are energised by socialising. - Introverts relate to life through their own ideas, impressions and feelings and judge themselves less in terms of the values of others. - Introverts enjoy socialising, but get drained quickly by situations that involve big groups of people and generally prefer small groups or one-on-one situations.
How to be an introvert in an extrovert world
About 75% of people are extroverts and our culture rewards mainly extrovert qualities like 'getting out there', being talkative and outspoken, being 'social' or being good at team work; all of which require extra effort for introverts.

Some general tips: 1. Realise that being introverted is not a weakness but a part of you. 2. Conserve energy before social events and take breaks (e.g. by going outside for a few minutes with one close friend). 3. Prepare your thoughts before meetings and discussions. 4. Play on your unique strengths (being able to concentrate and work alone for a long period of time, your imagination, striving for depth instead of breadth, being an independent thinker, etc.).

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Soul Searching: Are you shy or introverted? - Anuschka Rees

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"It is wisdom to know others; It is enlightenment to know one's self." BEING SHY IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING INTROVERTED In this post I want to talk about a psychological topic that is not very well understood by most people, namely the difference between shyness and introversio

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Our classrooms are often decorated with pictures and bright colors to appeal to visual learning styles. Desks are organized to help assist with physical learning styles, and we use a lot of group exercises to apply lessons. But are we really considering all types of learners?

Exclusion of certain learning types isn't intentional and sometimes when teachers have a particular curriculum, they are working to make sure all of their students get the basics of each concept. However, as research has shown, there is a tendency for teachers to cater their teaching styles to extroverts.

Typically, learners fall into two large groups - introverts and extroverts - and as a teacher, your primary concern is making sure the material in your lesson plan can be easily taught, understood, and applied. You develop learning applications to involve the entire class and throughout this process you consider your students and how to best structure the learning environment. You think about what they respond well to, how they interact, and how they process information. Sometimes this process is natural and other times your plan becomes a one-size-fits-all lesson.

We may understand the importance of catering to all students, but how can you make sure to reach both introverts and extroverts? A good place to start is by understanding both groups and what motivates them to learn.

Educating Extroverts and Introverts

The first component of learning style dimensions is how learners interact with the outside world. Extroverted learners prefer working with others and bouncing ideas back and forth. Social and learning activities that benefit them include problem-solving with others, group projects, and learning through mimicking experiences.

Extroverted learners have the following characteristics:

Very outgoing, they are "people" people

Quite comfortable working in and being part of large crowds

Have a wide base of friends, enjoy getting to know a lot of people

Dive in without always thinking things through

Feel sapped when spending too much time alone

Extroverted learners possess a social learning style. In addition, they have acute verbal learning styles as well, often communicating through stories or being the first to volunteer for assignments and projects.

Introverts generally have a shy nature, and students who are introverted have a solitary learning style, as they often prefer to solve problems on their own. Introverted learners like to brainstorm and seek theoretical exploration. They like to think out a problem and weigh options before moving forward.

Introverted learners have the following characteristics:

Appear reflective or reserved

Slow to take action - sometimes too slow

Have a very small but close group of friends - preferring to get to know a few people really well

Feel most comfortable doing things alone and prefer doing things that can be done alone

Often likes the idea of things better than the actual thing

Finds spending time in large crowds or groups to be exhausting

In many classrooms, a large portion of the school day is centered on group activities. In order to provide a balance that suits both extroverted and introverted learners, teachers can coordinate both small group and individual activities.

Also important to note: teachers should exercise patience, especially when it comes to introverted students. If they are called upon in class to answer a problem, it may take them a bit longer as they are probably carefully assessing and evaluating their response. Giving them the appropriate time to think quietly will help encourage the student's logical learning style. Extreme introverts may benefit from help during sessions with a school counselor. As part of the curriculum in a Master's in School Counseling program, strategies are taught to help students with different learning styles succeed in the classroom.

If you want to encourage introverts and extroverts at the same time, one strategy that has proven effective is to have the class "think-pair-share" which means that after the teacher asks a question, students turn to their partner, sharing their answers with each other rather than having to speak in front of the whole class. In addition, you can implement a journal time where students can write down stories and give them time to work independently.

On the other hand, extroverts are typically energetic, social individuals whose energy source comes from being around other people. These students are expressive and tend to have many friends. It's important to address their needs as well. Try group projects where 1-2 students lead, or try voluntary storytelling.

Extroverted children thrive when working in collaborative groups, and they enjoy class discussions as well. Class activities can help cater to this learning style. As students get older, middle school and high schools provide additional outlets for students of either learning style to feel more comfortable. Students are able to have more flexibility in their schedules and curriculum. So if the extroverted student wants to explore their verbal learning style they can take classes like debate. For introverted learners who want to focus on their visual learning style, they can take art or ceramics.

At the end of the day, we want to recognize the unique needs of these two distinct groups in terms of their learning style preferences and strengths. But we also want to realize that in many cases, students sit somewhere along the spectrum, and not at the polar ends. It's important to incorporate learning activities that address the needs of introverts and extroverts alike so that you can have a balanced classroom where real learning takes place by all.

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Learning Styles of Introverts and Extroverts

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Our classrooms are often decorated with pictures and bright colors to appeal to visual learning styles. Desks are organized to help assist with physical learning styles, and we use a lot of group exercises to apply lessons. But are we really considering all types of learners?

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An Introverted Student is a Gift, Written by Robyn Shulman.

This is an update about Susan Cain's new website and most moving initiative. For teachers and parents interested in this fascinating subject, please visit her new site: . There is no better time than now.

Is your child an introvert? If you are a teacher, can you define these personality characteristics in regard to your students? Did you know there are great personality differences between all of us? What are some common introvert characteristics you can share?

With the ever-growing focus on the social, emotional, and developmental needs of our students, there is no better time than now to highlight the gifts of our introverted students. There is a social stigma, a host of myths, and a superficial blanket of beliefs about introverts. It is time to uncover the myths, remove the superficial blanket, and embrace our social behavioral diversities.

According to various studies, and as stated by in via Psychology Today, the brain of an introvert vs. an extrovert is simply wired differently, with a greater or less need for the dopamine chemical. Our brains release dopamine when we experience something positive. It's an automatic reward center that makes us feel good. An extrovert needs more to feel an effect, whereas an introvert has a low dopamine threshold. Extroverts thrive on dopamine. Introverts don't require a great deal of stimulation to feel rewarded, and when too much dopamine is triggered, an introvert can quickly feel tired, overwhelmed as well as anxious.

The front part of an introvert's brain is most active and stimulated by his or her own thoughts. Introverts enjoy quiet, solitary and/or small group activities such as reading, writing, painting and problem solving. The back parts of an extrovert's brain are the most active. Extroverts are stimulated by the outside world. Extroverts thrive on noise, attending social events, large gatherings, throwing parties, and taking part in large group meetings. They are quick to speak, rather than listen quietly.

Common Myths About an Introverted student or adult:

1. They are shy: An introvert is not shy and/or timid: There is a big difference between being shy and being an introvert. Shy people tend to move away from social situations based on fear or feelings of rejection. Introverts are not afraid of social events or people. They simply need a valid reason to engage in conversation. They prefer deep conversations with one person, rather than loud group conversations-especially if the topic does not attract their interest.

2. They don't talk often: They love talking about ideas that hold their interest. They greatly enjoy talking with those who have the same interests, ideas and aligned topics. In large groups, they tend to listen much more than talk and think about what to say before they share their insight. They do not jump into conversations based on impulse, but rather, take time to evaluate, construct and share their opinions.

3. They believe they are above others: An introvert may appear this way, however, he/she is simply taking in and digesting more. They will speak when the time is right. They do not view themselves above anyone else in the room. They are peacefully enjoying their own quiet and thoughts in their mind.

4. An introvert is neurotic and/or think too much: They are known to think a great deal. There is a difference between being neurotic and thinking deeply with self-reflection. Introverts enjoy their own thoughts, and do not require a great deal of stimulation to confirm their feelings.

5. They don't enjoy being around people: They enjoy being around people, however, their time is limited because they physically tolerate much less than an extrovert. Spending more than two hours at a party can be exhausting for an introvert, while an entire night may not be enough for an extrovert (dopamine and neurotransmitters).

6. They don't like to go out in public or attend social events: Yes, they do. However, they prefer problem solving, reading a good book, daydreaming and imagining a new idea or project. They are content with their own thoughts and ideas. They thrive on discovery, research, the arts and writing. Introverts interpret and judge situations very quickly, and don't feel the desire or have the energy to be out in public for endless hours.

7. They are odd and/or different: They don't follow the crowd. Introverts follow their own paths based on their own minds and decisions. They are their own leaders.

8. They can be boring: They may be boring to an extrovert, as their needs are greatly different. However, they are they are filled with passion, ideas, projects, and new developments within their busy minds.

9. They are socially inept: They are not socially inept or afraid. They need less social interaction and more individual based time alone to grow and nourish their soul. They do not feel comfortable around many people and/or in noisy situations. Crowds, noise and light is typically overwhelming. However, if two introverts are in a room together, one may find great debates taking place or hear a great deal of small talk about big things.

10. They should change to 'fit' the expectations of our society: They should never change, nor can they change physically. Many of our greatest leaders and inventors were and are introverts. We should embrace their uniqueness and leave them to flourish. Micromanaging an introvert is like turning off a light bulb in a beautiful room full of books. We should embrace their talents, respect their needs, and let them be who they are intended to be.

Teacher Tips and Introverted Students

1. Give the introverted student the ability to learn and share in his or her own way.

2. Do not force group work; rather, let an introverted student choose his/her best path for optimal performance.

3. Share this gift with other students by showing them that it is okay to be on the quiet side (there is nothing wrong with being a bit quieter with one's own thoughts and feelings).

4. Realize that every student will not be a 'social butterfly,' while displaying approval.

5. Don't force the student to be a 'people person' or refer to him/her as socially challenged. There is nothing socially, emotionally, or developmentally wrong with an introverted student.

6. Provide them with the opportunities to explore and encourage their interests, in their own ways. For example, it is known that introverts love to write, rather than speak.

7. Celebrate the differences in behaviors within your class.

8. Give them space and time to grow. Let them find their own path within your classroom.

9. Respect who they are and listen to them.

10. Don't try and change an introvert, as this comes with great consequence. See them for who they are and embrace their unique traits.

If we let our students be who they are as opposed to training them to society's "norm," our world will open up. We will discover great problem-solvers and inventors, hear magical music, and we will be part of a world that encourages and supports historical game-changers.

If you happened to miss the amazing TED talk given by Susan Cain, please take a few minutes and watch below. You can also stop by her new site, Quiet Revolution, for great articles about the world of an extrovert and where you will find resources including lessons, readings, stories and more.

Are you accepting your children and students for who they are naturally-an or an extrovert? Why or why not? Do you consider yourself as an ?

In our next article, we will talk about tips for introverted students, introverted teachers and how to teach an introvert. Stay tuned!

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An Introverted Student is a Gift, Written by Robyn Shulman. This is an update about Susan Cain's new website and most moving initiative. For teachers and parents interested in this fascinating subject, please visit her new site: . There is no better time than now. Is your child an introvert?

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Introversion and extroversion occur on a spectrum. This means that there are different degrees of introversion. No one person is completely an introvert or completely an extrovert. Though every introvert is different, most introverts share certain traits and challenges.

Common introvert traits

Some introverted traits seem to be ingrained. Others are a result of the culture we live in. For example, many introverts have learned to cope with constant overstimulation by putting up a wall. This leads people to believe that introverts are cold, or standoffish, but this is not our true nature. The innate qualities that most introverts share are a love of introspection, a need for solitude, and a slower, more focused communication style.

Introverts love introspection

"Living is like tearing through a museum. Not until later do you really start absorbing what you saw, thinking about it, looking it up in a book, and remembering - because you can't take it in all at once." ~Audrey Hepburn

For introverts, introspection comes as naturally as breathing. We love to explore the colorful landscapes of our imagination. Many of us have been criticized for our mind wandering. We've been told to get our head out of the clouds and stop daydreaming. What people don't understand is that there is a good reason for our inward ways.

The outside world often feels like an assaulting force for introverts. At every turn there are energy vampires threatening to suck us dry. Turning inward is as much a means of survival as it is a source of comfort. Our love of introspection also brings meaning and direction to our life.

I can remember contemplating the transience of life at five years old and feeling overwhelmed with emotion. I knew that our time here is short and ever-changing. Now that I'm all grown up, I spend ample time thinking about the very same thing. Today, introspection is a necessary part of my career as a writer and coach for introverts. It provides sustenance and shade from a world of neon lights and fluorescent personalities.

Solitude is essential

"Alone had always felt like an actual place to me, as if it weren't a state of being, but rather a room where I could retreat to be who I really was." - Cheryl Strayed

An introvert's desire for solitude is more than just a preference. It is crucial to our health and happiness. We need time alone to restore ourselves. Introverts are pressured to push ourselves in social situations to the point of exhaustion. Then we feel guilty for becoming irritable and grouchy. We blame ourselves for not being able to be "on" all the time.

But when we give ourselves permission to seek the solitude we crave, life becomes lighter. Social situations are more bearable. Even annoying small talk is easier to endure when we've fortified ourselves with solitude.

The quiet introvert

"Wise men, when in doubt whether to speak or to keep quiet, give themselves the benefit of the doubt, and remain silent." ~ Napoleon Hill

Introverts are known for being quiet. We are word economists in a world suffering from verbal diarrhea. Society tells us to speak up and speak out, even if that means our sentences are bloated with useless chatter. I'll take silence over bullshit any day.

Most of the introverts I talk to would agree. Unfortunately, we introverts receive a lot of flack for our wordless ways. We are often asked "why are you so quiet?" To which we reply --- um ----- ?? ---errr ----. The reason many introverts take a less is more approach to conversation has to do with the way our brain works.

Studies have found many differences between an introvert's brain compared to an extrovert's. One key difference is that information travels a longer pathway through an introvert's brain. This causes us to process information more deeply and is likely why we take longer to verbalize our thoughts. My innie friend Jenn Granneman, creator of Introvert Dear, wrote a fascinating article about the introvert's brain.

Go Here To Read More About How An Introvert's Brain Works

Other introvert idiosyncrasies:

The Introvert's Dilemma

"Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quest for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again." - Anaïs Nin

In our culture, extroversion is considered the norm. In many cases it is even exalted as the superior personality type. Countless times when I've told people that I am a writer and coach for introverts they've asked, "so, you teach them how to be extroverted?" I stifle an eye roll and tell them that is most definitely NOT what I do. Before we go any further, I want to get one thing straight.

Introverts don't need to be cured, fixed or magically transformed into extroverts (this isn't possible anyway - more on that later). Extroverts are not superior to introverts, and vice versa. We are different personality types with different needs, desires, and behaviors. Unfortunately, in our culture, different is scary.

You see, extroverts have laid claim on the definition of normal. Where does that leave introverts? For many of us, it feels like we are treading water in a giant pool of stereotypes, and judgements. Some of us are better swimmers than others, but we all get tired of the struggle at some point. Dealing with unflattering stereotypes is just one of many introvert problems we innies face. Other introvert problems include: communication problems, low energy, and extroverted work and social environments.

Debunking Introvert Myths

"In an extroverted society, the difference between an introvert and an extrovert is that an introvert is often unconsciously deemed guilty until proven innocent." ~ Criss Jami

There are a myriad of misconceptions about introversion. We already covered a major one - the idea that introversion is an inferior personality type. Other common stereotypes include the belief that all introverts are shy, socially inept, or rude. For some reason, society tends to associate the above traits with introversion, yet extroverts are just as likely to embody these characteristics. Allow me to explain.

The difference between shy and introverted

Many people use the terms "introvert" and "shy" interchangeably. They think that all introverts are timid. I understand where the confusion lies. Both introverts and shy people tend to avoid socializing at times, but we do so for different reasons. Introverts often stay on the sidelines at social events because socializing drains our energy.

We must be selective about how much we "put ourselves out there" because we don't want to crash afterwards. Shy people, on the other hand, avoid socializing out of fear of the unfamiliar. The thought of talking to a stranger, or speaking in front of a group scares them. Instead of worrying about energy drain, they are concerned about making a fool of themselves, or being rejected and judged.

You might be thinking, "I fit into both of those descriptions". If that's the case, then you might be introverted and shy. The two characteristics can occur together or separately. This means both introverts and extroverts can be shy. Likewise, both introverts and extroverts can be self-assured.

Read More About Introverts And Shyness Here

Are introverts socially awkward?

"I talked to a calzone for fifteen minutes last night before I realized it was just an introverted pizza. I wish all my acquaintances were so tasty. " ~ Jarod Kintz

When I tell people I'm an introvert, they often don't believe me. "No you're not," they say "you're so friendly". The implication is that introverts don't know how to behave socially. This is another misconception. Many introverts have superior social skills. They are confident, assertive, and interesting to talk to. People don't realize this because they just assume everyone with good social skills is an extrovert.

Some introverts even come off as outgoing and gregarious. We have become great actors, skilled at wearing the mask of extroversion when needed. Who can blame us? In a world that favors extroverts, we have learned to adapt so we don't get left behind. But, hey, even the most socially adept introvert feels a little awkward sometimes.

This is especially true in overwhelming environments where our energy is quickly depleted. Group outings, parties, and crowded rooms can be very draining for introverts. When our energy tanks are low it's hard for us to be "on" in social situations. We begin to shut down and put up an invisible wall to protect what little energy we have left. Even if we have great social skills, and genuinely like people, there comes a point when we start fantasizing of sweet solitude. Susan Cain, author of Quiet: The Power Of Introverts In A World That Can't Stop Talking explains:

"Introverts may have strong social skills and enjoy parties and business meetings, but after a while wish they were home in their pajamas. They prefer to devote their social energies to close friends, colleagues, and family."

Most introverts, myself included, prefer one-on-one interactions over large groups. We are the ones who hang out at the edge of the room at parties and have deep discussions with one or two people. We are more likely to shine in quieter settings that don't assault our energy. I've also noticed that many introverts enjoy structured social activities over just hanging out with a bunch of acquaintances.

Structured activities (like clubs, classes, and volunteering) allow us to have more control over our social environment so there is less risk of overwhelm. I talk more about this topic in my Introvert Connection Guide. Download this 50-page ebook, and discover the steps to go from meet and greet to meaningful friendships in your own introverted way.
Go Here To Download The FREE Introvert Connection Guide
Are introverts rude?

"Let's clear one thing up: Introverts do not hate small talk because we dislike people. We hate small talk because we hate the barrier it creates between people." ~ Laurie Helgoe

We live in a world where social etiquette was largely designed by and for extroverts. Sometimes this causes introverts to come off as rude. Declining invitations, setting personal boundaries, and leaving the party early can all be seen as rude. It's gotten so bad that people don't even know how to say "no" anymore without feeling overwhelmed with guilt.

There are tons of articles swirling around the Internet that detail how to stay "no" and why it's okay to do so. Introverts have been struggling beneath the pressure to be "yes" people most of our lives. We said "yes" to social events when every fiber of our exhausted being was saying "no". We poured out pleasantries and politeness to the point of depletion. Then we felt guilty for not having an ounce of energy left for niceties.

There comes a point when politeness is too painful for introverts. We don't want to hurt anyone. We just want to slip away quietly and restore ourselves. Our exit might come off as abrupt. Sometimes we can't leave and we're forced to make a mental exit (a.k.a zoning out). So, are introverts rude? Yes, sometimes. But in a world where personal space is at a premium and "no" is one of the most feared words in the dictionary - can you blame us? I wrote a cheeky little post about how to (somewhat) politely decline an invitation.

Read My Best Excuses For Staying Home Here

Can introverts turn into extroverts?

"Don't think of introversion as something that needs to be cured...Spend your free time the way you like, not the way you think you're supposed to."~ Susan Cain

I am often asked "can introverts turn into extroverts?" Such inquiries are usually accompanied by a story of how the person used to be quiet and withdrawn as a child and then became more outgoing in adulthood. In most cases, their behaviour changed because they overcame their shyness.

As I said earlier, shyness is not the same as introversion. Shyness can most definitely change with time and effort. Introversion, on the other hand, is a personality type that endures throughout our life. A study by American psychologist Jerome Kagan found that introversion is present from infancy. In Kagan's study, four-month old babies were subjected to various forms of stimuli, including new sounds, faces and objects. Babies who reacted dramatically to the new stimuli (crying, thrashing limbs, etc.) were defined as 'high reactive'.

High reactive babies were found to have over-active amygdalas. Put simply, the high reactive infants were easily overstimulated. They later became quiet, careful teenagers - introverts. Kagan's study shows that introversion is present from birth and endures throughout adulthood. Our behaviour might change, but our innate needs do not.

You cannot magically "cure" a person's introversion. And why would you want to? Introversion comes with many unique gifts. The world needs more calm, more quiet, and more depth. Introverts are the best people to provide all that and much more. Instead of trying to change us into extroverts, society should thank introverts for bringing balance to an exhaustingly extroverted society.

Xo,

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What Is an Introvert? An In-Depth Explanation - Introvert Spring

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Introversion and extroversion occur on a spectrum. This means that there are different degrees of introversion. No one person is completely an introvert or completely an extrovert. Though every introvert is different, most introverts share certain traits and challenges. Some introverted traits seem to be ingrained.

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"We Are the Introverts" short film presented at the 2015 Iowa All-State Speech Festival in Ames.

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Do schools cater to extroverts at the expense of introverts? How should teachers accommodate for all learning styles? Story by Emily Diamond Production by Emily Diamond and Meg Matsuzaki

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Susan Cain - The Power of Introverts [TED Talk]

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Original Notes: ❝In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

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How Do I Include Introverts in Class Room Discussions?

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http://bit.ly/1p1CG1j Introverted students can find themselves at a disadvantage in the contemporary college classroom. Learn effective teaching strategies to engage introverted students in class discussions and how to guide them beyond their comfort zones.

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http://highability.org/the-gifted-introvert/

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The Tricks!!!!!!

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http://giftedchallenges.blogspot.com/2013/08/top-blogs-about-gifted-children-gifted.html

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Gerald Hohler

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The LEARNING ADVOCATE 3 populations AD, ADHD, Talented/Gifted

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The Learning Advocate explores 3 populations of students often misunderstood: LD, ADHD, and Talented & Gifted.

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https://www.nagc.org/get-involved/advocate-high-ability-learners