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I really like how you stated the sources when you analyze your subject's writing style. However, I noticed that you did not indicate any significant patterns besides the fact that Jessica did not like to read. To me, Jessica's perspective on reading is not a pattern, but a fact. I think you can solve this by reviewing your notes and interviews to find any possible pattern that was interesting about Jessica's reading process.

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The author wants to end the paper with something. However, if you could write a conclusion paragraph that sums up the paper, it will be much better.

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You give clear examples but I see that you use the word "Also" several times in the beginning of most sentences. Try to use different transition words or just remove the word as a whole because it makes it feel like a run on sentence.

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I see that you explained the reading habits of your subject. However, I think that you are trying to convey the importance of these habits by describing them . I suggest that you go more in depth about the significance of these habits and how it affects him as a reader.

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I can see that you thoroughly identify the trend and specify the origin of the trend. I also recognized that the subject prefers to read with a physical copy rather than electronic because from doing that she can be more engaged in the reading activity. However, where you are lacking is analyzation. I believe that your claim would be much stronger if you analyze why is her habit of reading a physical text significant. It is very important to identify the significance of the trend that you are describing because, without it, your report would just be a summary of the information gathered which is what you seem to do currently. I would suggest that you really look at how the physical copy benefits the way she interprets the text or at least draws conclusions on how electronic texts can hinder the way she reads it.

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Helpful comments DESCRIBE what they see the writer trying to do, EVALUATE how well the writing is doing that thing, and SUGGEST how the writer can make specific, focused revisions.

Using the explanations of the star system below, rate the comments on this board. (You rate each comment by clicking on the "Star Rate" under each comment. A pop-up will appear allowing you to select the number of stars you want to assign to each comment.)

3 stars is the default. 3 stars means "Thank you for the feedback" that uses the D-E-S strategy effectively. If you give more or fewer than 3 stars, you need to be able to identify why.

4 stars means the comment goes above and beyond the basic D-E-S and provides lots of useful detail.

5 stars is the the most useful feedback you could ever imagine receiving.

2 stars means you think the reader could have tried a little harder.

1 star means you think the reader didn't follow the comment instructions.

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I think this is a three-star comment. It's very useful but so honest and I think that's what makes a good comment. It's nice to that they are not agreeing with everything the other person says. As well they are adding much more opinion than just agreeing with a statement.

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I like comments like this. They are not so long but helps you out. I would say 2-2.5 because I'm the type of person who likes having comments who aren't paragraph-length.

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This is a 4-star comment. The perfect length of a comment is not too long and very useful with so much information. very detailed that helps you know what they are referring to.

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This is a 5-star comment. Even though half of reading this I would be already tired. I would like if comments like this are very specific. I prefer if they list examples show where the writer isn't specific or where they aren't clear. I do like how they insert themselves and not just the writer. one I think I would suggest is I would like to know how good is my evidence or would like someone to rate my work overall.

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I think this is a 3-star comment because it is very useful as well. I also think that even though it is a short commentary. It's a great comment to the writer. I would like to receive commentaries such as thesis because they get to the point quickly.

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I think this is a three or four-star comment because it does AT LEAST as much as the D-E-S routine

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This is definitely a one star comment, the feedback is extremely vague and brief, does not give much insight as to how to improve, and does not describe and evaluate.

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Three star comment, it does give some helpful feedback although probably not enough. It also does show that the reader is showing that they see what the writer was trying to do

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Five star comment, does an amazing job of describing what they liked about the writer's work, and an opinion about what they can do to improve their work. What I really liked about this comment was that it sounded very genuine and it has a more encouraging tone rather than just pure criticism

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I think this is a three star comment. Although it does everything from the DES strategy, it is extremely brief. This makes me think that the editor was being lazy and just doing the bare minimum.

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I believe this is a four star comment. The comment does state the problem and offers a way to solve it but it is not enough information.

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I think this is two star comment. Even though there is a lack of information or useful input, a suggestion was made that could get the writer thinking. However, that writer would be aimlessly guided.

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This is a 3 star comment. This is because the comment feels generic and could use a little more in-depth support as to how removing the word would benefit them.

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I believe that this is a five star comment because you started off by showing that you understand where they want to go and then you go into what is stopping them from going there. A solution was offered along with how to work there and how a solution/alternate process would benefit and alter their work.

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This is a 3 star comment. The reader made an attempt to understand where the writer is coming from but offers little to no support on how they can improve.