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Includes resources:

to cope with anxious times

for children

for parents and carers

for refugees and asylum seekers

how to report a hate crime

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The ongoing social unrest and violent discrimination across the UK is deeply troubling and upsetting. This page contains helpful resources to support you if you or your loved ones are being impacted.

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Sky news - are you worried by the Southport Tragedy?

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Sky news - are you worried by the Southport Tragedy?

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FYI: Are you worried by Southport tragedy?

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NSPCC - Talking to children about racism

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NSPCC - Talking to children about racism

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advice and guidance on how to speak to children about racism

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"I am struggling with the racist bullying I get at school... I feel like everyone is against me. School is a quite an isolating place and nobody has ever stood up for me.

"I don't really want to address it to the school because that'll create more drama and it will make more people turn against me and my school life will be even more miserable. I'd rather the school did a talk about racism and its history."*

*Girl, aged 12.

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Advice to help parents or concerned adults understand how to talk to children about race and racism, and what you can do to support a child who's experiencing racial bullying.

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Save the Children - talking about distressing current events with children

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Save the Children - talking about distressing current events with children

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Advice and guidance on how to talk to children about distressing current events.

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There are a lot of scary, upsetting things happening in the world right now, and kids have a right to understand what's going on. But how do we talk to them?

Twinkl, who aim to make learning accessible to all, have shared with us some great tips on how to talk to children about the state of the world to give you the confidence and support to chat things through with the little people in your life.

When there are upsetting events in the news or in the local community, children may see, hear or read things that cause them anxiety or distress. This may be from other children, on the news, from social media or from overhearing adults speak. In this digital age, we can't always protect children from hearing distressing news but we can support them to understand and process the feelings they may experience in order to protect their mental health and wellbeing.

Here is some guidance for supporting children to understand and address questions or worries they may have.

Exposure

Although there may be times when we cannot help children overhearing information that may be worrying or upsetting, if at all possible, try to avoid exposure to information that is not age appropriate. If children express any concerns about things they have heard or are aware of, make it clear you are here to support them and they are welcome to talk to you about anything they are worried about.

Listening

If children express any concerns or worries, make it clear that you are here to listen. If there isn't opportunity immediately to provide the time and space they need to talk, make it clear that you will make time later, if possible agreeing when that time will be together. During discussions about worrying or upsetting events, demonstrate to children that you are giving the discussion your full attention by practising active listening. Processing distressing news can take time, particularly in an unfolding situation. Making yourself available shows them that their concerns are important to you. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know that however they are feeling is OK.

Discussion

In light of a large-scale event, it can be helpful to lead a discussion so all children are able to share their concerns. Make sure you give them time and space to ask any questions they may have and encourage them to keep asking questions, whenever they have them, and no matter what they are. Answer any questions truthfully but be aware of the level of detail that is appropriate to the child's age and stage of development. Don't be afraid to say that you don't know the answers to all of their questions. If tackling the topic in a group, carefully consider any children who may be directly impacted by the situation and those whose family context may affect their response. In addition, children who have previously experienced traumatic events in the past may be particularly sensitive to similar situations.

Reliable Sources

Beware of misinformation and teach children how to identify untrustworthy sources of news, such as social media and sensationalist 'clickbait' sites. Explain how to use trustworthy sites to find answers to questions you may be unsure of, explaining how you will find answers to any questions you may not be able to answer right away. If appropriate, model how to find trusted, age-appropriate sources of information.

Our Own State of Mind

Be aware of your own state of mind. Let children know that it is normal to be concerned about world events but even if you are yourself feeling worried about the situation, make sure that you reassure children that they are safe.

Self-Care

Putting big feelings such as worry, fear and sadness into words can be hard, especially for younger children. Giving children the skills and opportunity to express, manage and cope with uncomfortable feelings can be very empowering.

* Provide opportunities for children to express how they are feeling in a variety of ways, for example through music or art. Invite them to talk through their work but don't feel you have to respond. Listen, thank them for sharing how they feel and reassure them that you are there for them should they need your support at any point.

* Teach children self-care techniques to manage their feelings, particularly if they are having trouble concentrating on other things. For example, switch off devices for a set time, read a favourite book, listen to music that makes them feel happy or relaxed, talk and play with friends and engage in activities they enjoy.

* Ask children to think of their own self-care strategies and support them in putting their ideas into action. If children are unsure, suggest a range of options for them to choose from. Developing their own self-care plan can help children feel in control of their emotions.

Positive Action

Feelings of helplessness in the face of global crises can feel overwhelming. Suggest ways that children can act to show their support, such as raising money for charity or writing to their MP. Taking action to make a positive difference can help children feel more in control in a situation that is out of their hands. This can help them to regulate their uncomfortable emotions. Remind the children that terrible events are rare and help them identify positive news stories, acts of human kindness and things they love about the world around them.

Recognise that not one type of response will fit all children. Observe carefully and listen as much as possible. Children often just want to feel heard and know you are there. Reassure them as much as you feel able and let them know you are in this together, that their reaction is normal and that they're not alone in their thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be. Knowing that others may feel the same can be a huge comfort.

What to do next

Check out Twinkls other resources:
Strategies to use when I'm worried about the news
Coping with upsetting stories in the news
Relaxation tips to do at home with your kids Talking to kids about war - tips from a child psychiatrist

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Talking about distressing current events with kids

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There are a lot of scary, upsetting things happening in the world right now, and kids have a right to understand what's going on. But how do we talk to them?

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How to speak to children about trauma and tragedy

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How to speak to children about trauma and tragedy

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Following the tragic events in Southport, expert psychologists from the British Psychological Society have offered advice for parents on how to speak to, and support their children through, distressing events.

Dr Sarah Parry, a member of the British Psychological Society's Faculty for Children, Young People and their Families, says:

"Many children will be distressed by what they have seen and heard about the tragic attack in Southport. Each child can respond differently, and it can often be difficult for parents and caregivers to know how to offer support.

"There are, however, ways that conversations can be approached, which can help children begin to express how an event has made them feel and encourage a sense of safety and security in their family environment. Listening and providing space and comfort can go a long way."

Professor Vivian Hill, of the BPS's Division of Educational and Child Psychology, adds:

"The Southport attack has had a huge emotional impact across the nation, felt by everyone but most particularly by parents and children. In the aftermath many parents face the difficult task of trying to explain to their children what happened, while also managing their own distress and the prospect of leaving their children at summer activity groups.

"Our children are constantly exposed to traumatic news stories and social media analysis of these events, either directly or indirectly, through friends, and it is almost impossible to shield them from absorbing things they read, see and hear. It's completely natural for them to be picking up on this situation and feeling anxious and also asking questions about what has happened.

"It is important that we don't avoid talking to our children about these events, but you might want to try to moderate their exposure to social media and the constant rolling news and updates."

Dr Parry and Professor Hill have also provided some advice for parents and carers on how to support children through difficult times.

Instead of trying to shield children from the news completely, focus on giving them balanced information in bitesize pieces. Shielding often isn't practical in today's information age and a young person's imagination can often vividly fill in any gaps in knowledge.

Ask open questions to understand what they know and how they feel. Questions like, "How are you feeling about what you saw?" or "What have your friends said about what happened?" can help open the channels of communication. You can then respond to their needs, rather than introducing our own words and feelings and signalling to them that they should be worried, anxious or upset.

Listen to their worries and provide honest answers to their questions about what is going on, don't overcomplicate your responses and try to give details at an age-appropriate level. Don't avoid answering their questions about the situation as this could promote more anxiety, but keep to basic facts.

Show children the helpers in these situations, highlighting important qualities such as kindness and bravery to promote hopefulness. Emphasize that real-life heroes, like paramedics and kind strangers, don't wear capes. This reframes the story and can promote a sense of trust and safety.

Use drawings, storybooks, music or toys to express feelings

Encourage children to express their feelings through creativity and play if this is a more comfortable means of communication. This approach can help children articulate their emotions and needs, as well as connect with others.

Children may need both physical and verbal reassurance in order to regulate their emotions. Opportunities to voice their worries and upset will allow them to process their own thoughts and emotions, and parents can play an important role in providing physical comfort, through a hug, and talk with them to provide reassurance.

Try to deal with your own feelings of stress and distress so that it is managed as your children will be sensitive to your reactions. Have the conversation when you feel ready and able to, or ask another trusted adult to talk with them.

Simplify language and offer 'exits' to worrying cycles of thoughts and feelings

Use simple, clear language to describe events. Avoid words like "horrific" or "terrible," which may not mean much to younger children. Instead, use words like sad, scary, brave, or kind. If appropriate, you can also offer reassurance as to how unusual it is for younger children to be in danger from strangers.

It's also important to select the right time to talk. This is likely to be a difficult conversation so pick a quiet time together where you both have time to reflect and ask or answer questions without interruption.

Make it age and developmentally appropriate

Young children may need to know that they are safe, whereas adolescents may need support to understand and process the situation.

Parents are the experts about their children

Each child will react differently, you know your child and can match the way you hold this conversation, and the level of detail you include to their age and personal style, some children will be distressed and anxious others will quickly move on. Children who have experienced a recent loss may be more sensitive to this situation.

Explain to your children that bad things can happen in the world but there is always some way to respond positively

Plan together how you might respond to this situation through fundraising or other actions to support the community.

Avoid exposure to a constant stream of news

Be mindful of whether you have the radio or TV on all day, as children will be absorbing news without us realising it. Try to build in 'breaks' from the news, for example, if you are driving your children somewhere, turn off the radio or make sure it isn't on a news station to provide a break from the constant exposure to worrying rolling news cycles.

Watch where they are getting their news

We know that fake news is an issue, particularly on social media sites so be mindful of what your children are absorbing and where they are getting it. Ensure they understand that not everything they see on social media sites is true, and they know what reliable sources of news they can access. BBC Newsround provides age-appropriate content.

Seek advice and support if you are concerned about your child

Community based mental health services and educational psychologists can offer specific advice and support if you feel that your child is becoming overly anxious and distressed. Providing support and reassurance and diverting their thoughts through engagement in pleasurable activities can help.

Ensure children feel supported and safe. It's important to help them understand the level of threat to them, their friends and family. Explain this is an extremely rare event and most unlikely to affect their safety.

Above all, reassure children they are safe and loved - a hug can significantly help, especially if you can't find the words you are looking for in the moment. Loving environments at home and positive friendships are crucial for children's emotional well-being, especially during times of stress.

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How to speak to children about trauma and tragedy, Psychologists offer expert advice | BPS

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Following the tragic events in Southport, expert psychologists from the BPS give their advice for parents on how to support their children through distressing events.

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Trauma Toolkit on childhood trauma, migration and asylum

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Advice on what is a hate crime and how to report it.

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Report a hate crime. Hate crime. Hate crime

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Young Minds - Responding to Black Young People looking for support

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Young Minds - Responding to Black Young People looking for support

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Every young person deserves to have someone to turn to, to talk about their mental health. From providing a space to listen, to supporting them with accessing further help. We know that every adult that a young person reaches out to needs to feel confident and equipped to help them.

At YoungMinds, we want to create a world where no young person feels alone with their mental health. We recognise that we have to be better at reaching and representing racialised young people, and the adults around them, who have been marginalised by the system.

Our Someone To Turn To report interviewed 350 young people and found that when Black and minoritised young people struggle with their mental health, they are more likely to face systemic barriers and often experience racism, stigma and discrimination when trying to access help and support.

To increase awareness and understanding of this, we commissioned Poetic Unity, a poetry collective that works with young people to empower them to reach their highest potential.

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Responding to Black young people looking for support

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Every young person deserves to have someone to turn to, to talk about their mental health. From providing a space to listen, to supporting them with accessing further help. We know that every adult that a young person reaches out to needs to feel confident and equipped to help them.

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a wealth or resources, videos and training.

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Guidance for supporting Children and Young People who have experienced trauma

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Guidance for supporting Children and Young People who have experienced trauma

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A guide for Parents and Carers

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How can adults respond to black young people talking about mental health

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How can adults respond to black young people talking about mental health

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How can adults respond to Black young people talking about their mental health

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources available to children and young people in Rochdale

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources available to children and young people in Rochdale

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources for Parents and Carers

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources for Parents and Carers

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources available to young people aged 18-25 years

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Emotional and Mental Health Resources available to young people aged 18-25 years

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Guidance for supporting Children and Young People who have experienced trauma

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Guidance for supporting Children and Young People who have experienced trauma

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A guide for schools

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Talking to your child about a violent incident - tips for parents

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Talking to your child about a violent incident - tips for parents

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Some helpful tips for parents/carers to start and maintain conversations, and receive timely help and support, if needed

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Toolkit designed to be used with young people aged 11+ to stimulate discussion, thought and reflection around key themes such as identity, belonging, diversity and community.

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Looking after your child following trauma

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Looking after your child following trauma

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This guide will help parents and carers understand why many children and young people find it hard after a trauma, what they might be experiencing and how they can help them.

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This guide will help you understand why many young people find it hard after a trauma and suggest ideas you can use to help you begin to feel better.

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Understanding and Managing trauma (for young people)

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How to talk to kids and teens about world trauma

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How to talk to kids and teens about world trauma

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A blog about managing the conversation sensitively when discussing traumatic events, and keeping in line with the child/young person’s identity, what they know and what the event means for them. Information on what to include, and how best to broach the conversation according to the child's age

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When the world is struck with a catastrophic event, the instinct to shield our children from the effects of it is completely understandable. We want them to grow up believing that the world is pure and good and geared in their favour. We also want them to feel safe, and avoiding a discussion isn't necessarily the way to make this happen.

Older kids and teens will know when something big has happened whether you're the one who tells them or not. Knowing that something has happened, but not having anybody explain things, is a really scary thing to feel for any of us. Our kids are no different. We all need context and assurance and it's the facts that will provide this.

All kids are different. They need different information to feel safe, they look for a different level of detail and they are impacted by different parts of the story.

Nobody will know your children better than you do, so it's important to manage the conversation based on who they are, what they already know, and what it means for them.

With all children.

1. The most important question.

Whatever their age, there is likely to be one thought at the front of their minds, 'What about me?' This is normal and healthy and part of the way they process what has happened. They need to understand it in terms of what it means to them and for their own safety and wellbeing. Let this guide your response.

2. Let them know that what they're feeling makes sense.

We're all different and will respond to things in different ways. Whether they feel nothing at all or very deeply, let them know that whatever they're feeling is completely okay. The only way through a feeling is straight through the middle, and this will only happen when there is gentle acceptance of whatever that feeling is. If they see that you can accept what they're feeling, it will be easier for them to do the same.

3. Name what you see or hear from them.

They need to know that you get it otherwise the things you say will fall short of comforting them. Saying things like, 'Oh don't worry,' or 'Don't be silly - nothing like that will happen here,' though said with the best of intentions, can actually make them worry more. It might also cause them to feel shame which will only make them shut down. They'll still feel what they're feeling and think what they're think but you just won't find out about it. Whatever they're feeling, let them know that you get it by reflecting it back to them, ' I can see you're feeling scared. That's completely understandable. It's a frightening thing to happen. '

4. And help them to put it in context.

If they're feeling scared, it will be because they're noticing the similarities between themselves and the people who have been directly hurt - ages, families, the area they live in - though it might be happening out of their awareness. Explaining the differences between their circumstances and the circumstances around the event will help to ease their fear. ' This has happened in a different place to where we live. Nothing like this has ever happened here.' Or if you're living where the trauma has happened, ' When something like this happens, people work really hard to make sure that something like this never happens again. The people who do this are really great at what they do. They learn a lot about how it happened and the type of people who did it and they use that information to keep everyone safe.'

5. Ask directly what it is they're worried about.

Trauma triggers all sorts of things in all of us. Sometimes these will directly relate to the event: How will they look after the people who have been hurt? Have they caught the bad guys? How did it happen? Could it happen here? Sometimes, it might be more indirect and unexpected. They might become scared of you dying or getting sick. They might worry about not being able to reach you when they need to, or of something happening while they are asleep or separated from you. Let them know that when something big happens, we can feel all kinds of things that don't make sense but there are no silly feelings or silly things to think. Ask them what they're thinking and give them permission to say anything they want to.

6. Be available.

Let them know that they can come to you with questions, feelings, ideas and thoughts and that nothing is off-limits. Give them extra cuddles or an extra story. For older ones, spend extra time sitting on the edge of their bed at bedtime. They might raise things with you or they might not, but at least you're there if they need to.

7. Let them see your compassion, empathy, and resilience.

It's okay to let them know that you are sad for the people who have been hurt - this will nurture their empathy and compassion - but they also need to see your strength and capacity to cope with the news.

8. It's okay not to have the answers they're asking for.

Frightening world events don't make sense to any of us. Your children might ask questions that you don't know the answers to, such as 'How did it happen?' or 'Why do some people do awful things?' In these cases, 'I don't know,' is a perfectly reasonable answer. Sometimes it's the only one.

9. Remind them of the goodness in the world.

They need to have faith in the world and the people in it. Whenever there is trauma in the world, there are also remarkable demonstrations of solidarity and kindness, love and support for strangers. Let them hear these stories. We belong to a humanity that is good and kind. People who orchestrate traumatic events are acting against humanity, they're not a part of it and when they strike, humanity always proves to be kinder, more generous, and stronger. Remind them.

10. Let them feel the arms of the world around them, too.

Let them know that when something like this happens, the world comes together to look after each other and that people from all over the world are working to make the world safer for them.

Being proactive in having the conversation with kids can ensure that you're the one who sets the emotional tone for what has happened - not their friends, not social media and not the 6pm news. Show them that you have faith in their world and their ability to thrive in it.

According to age.

Again, all children are different, but in addition to the things mentioned above, here is a rough guide of extra things to think about according to age.

Up to 4 years.

Small children have trouble separating facts from fantasy, so for young ones, it might be best to shield them from things as much as you can. If they have questions it's important to answer them but only in as much detail as you need to reassure them and help them feel safe.

5-11 years.

Let your kids lead the conversation here. If they're talking, that's important. They want you to help them feel safe. On the surface they'll be asking what happened, but the driving force will be understanding what it means for them. How does it affect them? Could it happen to them? What if it happens to someone they love? How do you know it won't happen? Does this mean we should never go anywhere else?

They'll be looking for comfort and your answers and your willingness to talk to them will give them this. Give them the details they ask for, but you don't need to give them more than that. Don't lie to them or avoid their direct questions. They'll be able to tell when you're not being upfront and this will only make it more difficult to take comfort from your answers. They need to know that you fully understand what has happened and that you aren't just saying whatever you ned to say to make them feel better.

12-14 years

Because a lot of their lives happens when we aren't there - through social media, at school, at friends' houses - it's difficult to know exactly how much they understand about what's happening or what they're worried about. Listen and they will usually show you. It will be in their questions or their misunderstandings or the incidental things they say along the way. The most important thing is letting them know that you're there for them if they need to talk or ask questions.

They're starting to think about things in creative, abstract ways so it can be difficult to anticipate what they're thinking or feeling. Sometimes the way they think will surprise you.

Whatever they're thinking is important and valid - let them know that. Let them know that this sort of thing is confusing for everyone and there's absolutely nothing they can say or think that would be silly. What's important is that you are there to clear up any misunderstandings or misperceptions, and give them a balanced view of what has happened. ' It's tragic what has happened, and I understand why you feel the way you do. The world is still a good place and you still have as much reason to feel safe now as you did before this happened. '

There is no formula for how people react in these situations. Given that the emotional centres of their brains are developing at a heightened rate during adolescence, it might be that they show a greater intensity of fear, anger or sadness. They might also show no emotion at all to the news. That's completely okay and is nothing to worry about. People feel things and respond to things in all different ways.

Open the way for them to talk, but don't push them if they don't want to, ' Did you hear about what happened? Is there anything you were wondering about or would like to talk about? ' Let them know that it doesn't matter if there isn't but that you're there if they need to chat about it.

Above 14 years.

They'll most likely be hearing a lot of information through friends and social media, so it's important to make sure the information they have is accurate. Ask them if they've heard about what happened and what they know about it.

By this age, they'll be starting to separate from you and turning to their peers to meet their needs. Don't worry at all if they don't want to talk about things. When they need comfort or conversation, it's very normal for them to turn to their friends. They might want to spend more time with them or they might seem even more attached to their phone. People feel safest in groups, and at this age, their friendship groups are everything. They won't necessarily be wanting to be with their friends to talk about things, it's just how they find stability and comfort, which they might be in need of if the world seems crazy for a while.

Catastrophic events don't make sense to any of us. You don't have to have the answers so if you don't know, it's okay to say that. Don't say things you don't believe and don't give them empty platitudes. They're too smart and it will cheapen everything else you say. Let them know that you wish you had the answers and that you wish you could say nothing like this will happen again but that you can't say that - nobody can. Let them know that these things are rare and remind them how their situation is different.

Share how you feel, but don't look to them for comfort. It will be comforting for them to know that you feel the things they feel, but that need to know that you also feel safe and strong and that you have faith in the world and its people.

Sometimes, with this age group it is best to have these sort of conversations when they don't have to make eye contact - while you are in the car together or while you're cooking dinner. Others might like to feel you close. Let them take the lead on that.

And finally ...

When the world breaks the light pours in. It's always been this way. There will always be those who try to assault our humanity, but they are not the ones who are a part of it. The truth is that we belong to a humanity that is good and kind and stands solid against those who act against it. This is what our children need to know.

There's something else they need to know. When things happen out of our control, it can feel disempowering for all of us - the questions, the helplessness, the lack of control over what happened. Give them back their power by letting them know that they have a vital role in building a world that is safe and good to be in. Empower them by letting them know that their voice, their thoughts, and the way they are in the world all matter. They need to know that it's because of them and people like them that the spirit of love, kindness and compassion will always be stronger than anything that tries to weaken it.

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How to Talk to Kids and Teens About World Trauma -

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When the world is struck with a catastrophic event, the instinct to shield our children from the effects of it is completely understandable. We want them to grow up believing that the world is pure and good and geared in their favour.

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