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Helen and Cheeze - here is your feedback 

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Helen and Cheeze - here is your feedback 

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Helen

🧠 The essay is logical and linked, I am gradually being persuaded =)) and I wish you have more examples to demonstrate your point clearer <33

👏 word choice is nice and right in context. Collocation and phrase usage is flexible. meow meow but there is just a small mistake u made in paragraph 3 (In my view… financially deficiency => financial deficiency)

NEW WORDS (& WORDS I LIKE) WITH MY EXAMPLES:

on account of = due to = owing to

=> We were late for school on account of Sky crying.

bridge the gender pay gap

legislation (n): a law or set of laws that is being created

=> There is new legislation to bridge the gender pay gap.

comply (v fml): = follow

=> I must comply with the regulations; otherwise, I will be put into jail.

equitable (a): fair to all the people or organizations involved in a situation

=> I wish to work in an organization that ensures equitable treatment for all employees

Cheeze

🧠 The essay is good i must say. You pointed out clearly each idea, and I can easily understand it. But it will be greater if you can analyse it deeper <33

👏 no spelling mistakes, word choice is nice. Here are new words and phrases I have learnt from your essay muahaaha:

engender (v) cause something to come into existence

=> His flirts engender my skepticism.

prevailing /prɪˈveɪ.lɪŋ/ (a): existing in a particular place or at a particular time

=> He has DID disease so that the prevailing attitude is nothing to worry about haha.

enact (v): put something into action, especially to make something law

=> The government failed to enact environmental legislation.

accrue /ờ-kru/ (v): increase in number or amount over a period of time

=> The company’s interests will accrue on account of the CEO being handsome.

call forth (v): cause something into action or existence ~ engender

=> I called forth all my courage to confess my feelings to him and received his refusal.

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Feedback on Helen's and Roze's essays <3

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Feedback on Helen's and Roze's essays <3

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✨Helen’s essay: Love your logical thinking and word choice

It is essential that the government reinforce several legislation in order to bridge the gender wage gap.

Gender-based prejudge is a noticeable factor preventing humans from obtaining a level playing field.

💗Roze’s essay: Such a wide range of word choice and phrases, personally love your paraphrasing <3

Feudal ideology has undeniably fueled a web of prejudices that women have to suffer from, engendering females's inability to tap their capabilities.

Although numerous campaigns against gender favoritism have occurred, the progress of narrow gender inequality is still glacial.

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Roze

✨: good word choice and collocation (feudal, obsolete, pervasive, labour market, a web of prejudices, tap sb's capability effectively, ...)

eg:

While it is true that AI is getting more and more excellent at imitating humans, not all human’s original work will be obsolete.

Individuals who haven’t graduated from high school are the least likely to enter the labour market.

She had to battle against a web of prejudices about women's role as housewives in the feudal society to pursue a career.

🍀: I wish you would be more careful so that you would not made blunders (for eg: sentence 3 of body 1

🌷 (The obsolete thoughts... women are considered to be (at?) home and become good housewives...)

or sent 5 the same paragraph

🌹(Take Japan as an example, ... their salaries compared to men is => are nearly 8% lower )

Cheeze

✨: nice word choice with collocation (prevailing, maternity leave, accrue, be of paramount importance, ...)

eg:

It is widely believed that prevailing measures are enough to bridge the gender wage gap

It is of paramount importance to put forward policies such as sharing work, and financial incentives to prevent “technological unemployment".

🍀: I wish you would pay more attention to the punctuation, especially "the comma".

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Give your friends one positive comment ("star"), one suggestion for improvement ("wish"), and one question ("if").

Peer Review Checklist

Task Achievement/Response

- Does the essay address all parts of the task?

- Are the main ideas relevant and well-developed?

Coherence and Cohesion

- Is the essay logically organized?

- Are paragraphs well-structured with clear topic sentences? (addressing both the topic and the main idea?)

- Are linking words and phrases used effectively?

Lexical Resource

- Is the vocabulary varied and appropriate?

- Are there any repetitive words or phrases?

- Are there any inappropriate word choices?

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

- Are a variety of sentence structures used?

- Are there any grammatical errors (tense, subject-verb agreement, articles, etc.)?

- Is the punctuation correct?

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Gender Wage Gap: The Need for Comprehensive Solutions and Enforcement

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Gender Wage Gap: The Need for Comprehensive Solutions and Enforcement

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Although considerable evolutions have occurred in recent times, women in several nations still have to suffer from the gender pay gap. While some individuals argue that current efforts are adequate and this gap will shrink naturally as time passes, I concur with those who believe that more actions should be taken to fully address the issue.

On the one hand, it is widely believed that existing measures are enough to bridge the gender wage gap and it is only a matter of time before this gap closes due to law requirements and cultural shifts. Firstly, equal pay legislation may create a legal obligation for organizations to provide men and women with the same salary for similar positions. As companies continue to comply with this law for fear of fines, or damaged reputation, the gender pay disparities should naturally decrease. Secondly, with numerous significant changes in attitudes towards gender roles, individuals now become more aware of unconscious gender favoritism. Consequently, people may place greater pressure on businesses to promote more unbiased workplaces, thus gradually reducing the gender wage gap.

On the other hand, others argue that the government should put forward more solutions to effectively tackle the problem on account of social impartiality and economic growth. To begin with, practical actions like investing in education and vocation for women in higher-paying jobs may create a level playing field. Therefore, such policies can eliminate gender-based prejudice in the workplace, thus contributing to an equitable society. Additionally, gender wage gap closure is a major driver for economic development as women would feel more valued, hence motivated to pursue a career. For instance, in 2023, women across France were stimulated by the French government’s equal pay enforcement and made a contribution to the economy.

In my view, I am entirely in favor of the notion that more strategies should be suggested to eradicate the gender salary disparities. Despite the governments’ effort to enforce regulations about the sex pay difference, the majority of women still have to suffer from gender biases because these laws have not been properly applied. A research has indicated that US women working full time earned 80 cents for every dollar men made in 2016. This 20-percent less compensation may lead to financially deficiency and therefore lower living standards. Therefore, the existing laws should be reinforced, and innovative solutions such as addressing gender discrimination and promoting diversity programs should be applied to close the sex pay gap.

In conclusion, while the idea that current measures are sufficient and the gender wage disparities should gradually shrink may be justifiable, I believe that the authorities should implement more strategies to properly tackle the issue. It is hoped that the gender salary difference would be entirely eliminated in order to create an equitable and unbiased society.

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Bridging the Gender Pay Gap: Evaluating Progress and Future Actions

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Bridging the Gender Pay Gap: Evaluating Progress and Future Actions

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It goes without saying that the topic of gender pay gap has engendered arid debates recently due to the inequality between males and females. It is contended by some people that certain actions should be taken to improve the situation, others believe that prevailing methods are fruitful and the pay gap problem will be solved gradually. From my perspective, I hold a belief that it is essential to shrink the gender pay gap by taking several measures.

In the first place, existing measures have reduced the gender wage gap noticeably and it is only a matter of time until the issue is resolved due to numerous legislation as well as people’s awareness. Firstly, almost every country has enacted certain laws in the salary level between two genders for the same position at work, ensuring individuals’ rights and financial security in their workplace especially for women. According to the Pregnancy Discrimination Act, during maternity leave, the employee continues to accrue seniority and remains eligible for pay increases and benefits. Furthermore, numerous campaigns occurring to fight for gender equality have raised humans’ understanding about inequity between two genders, calling forth exacerbating pressure on the government to make practical efforts to obtain fairness in the pay level.

On the other hand, it is undeniable that making efforts to reduce gender inequality in the pay gap is of paramount importance by providing equal opportunities besides breaking stereotypes. Initially, it is crucial that both men and women are given an impartial chance, promotion and recognition as a thriving way to shrink the wage gap since many people believe that females are not able to pursue leadership for example. As a result, when employees or even employers no longer have to suffer from favoritism, they will be motivated to dedicate more and contribute practical value to society. Additionally, unconscious stereotypes about man and woman are tremendous obstacles preventing gender equality in the wage level; therefore, eliminating the prejudge about appearance and characteristics based on genders may aid citizens to fulfill their passion at work, boosting the economic growth.

From my perspective, I entirely concur with the idea that practical actions should be taken to dismantle gender bias in salary. To begin with, although several laws about gender pay gap have been enacted, a large number of women still struggle to make a living, fueling a decline in their quality of lives. A recent survey has indicated that on average, females earn 13% less than men per hour in the EU meaning that every year that goes by without equal pay results in an average of $4,639 in lost wages for women. Moreover, cultural norms are a contributing factor to women’s apprehensions to overcome society’s judgment which results in gender inequality, especially in the wage level.

From the discussion outlined above, one can come to a conclusion that there are conflicting views about the issue denoted. However, I hold a firm belief that by implementing several measures immediately, the problem can be resolved expeditiously.

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The Gender Pay Gap: A Persistent Challenge and the Path to Equality

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The Gender Pay Gap: A Persistent Challenge and the Path to Equality

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The gender pay gap is a complex societal issue that still has persisted in many nations today. Some individuals assume that it will gradually close day by day and that the present measures are adequate. Some argue that more procedures ought to be imposed to narrow the gap. This essay will aim to discuss both sides of this argument and my opinion is drawn in the end.

On the one hand, it is understandable why people assume that narrowing the gender pay gap requires more methods to be implemented. To commence, the remains of feudal ideology in society is still not addressed thoroughly. The obsolete thoughts hinder women’s potentials at work as women are considered to be home and become good housewives in lieu of working industriously. As a result, sex discrimination occured and there are a number of companies pay salary based on gender. Take Japan as an example, it is reported that this country has the lowest rate, which is 10%, of women joining the diplomatic field all over the world, and their salaries compared to men is nearly 8% lower. Therefore, female labourers will feel more and more unfair and insecure so that they are not able to show all their abilities and voice their opinions in the working environment. The further consequence is that the economy will witness slower growth since it cannot tap women’s capabilities effectively. Thus, it is worth imposing more measures to help women be on an equal footing with men to close the gap.

On the other hand, there are several reasons why people hold a belief that closing the gender pay gap is just a matter of time and the current measures are adequate. Proposing a practical method to narrow this gap needs great time and effort, and if there are more procedures, it can be overwhelming in doing them. It is obvious that many countries now introduce laws in working places to ensure that workers feel on a level playing field. For instance, the government of Japan necessitates big companies revealing the salary of workers and the reasons if there is a disparity between men and women. It promotes workers’ passion and determination in their work to ensure national economic growth. Besides, more women are taking the leadership roles and entering the traditionally high-paying fields dominated by men; such as science, technology and engineering; women can assert their positions in society. The shift in social norms will gradually change individuals’ perspective about female roles and encourage people to have a broader view of supporting gender equality, especially the gender pay gap.

In my opinion, I contend that there is still no country that can solve the issue about gender pay gap and it might have innumerable challenges when it comes to taking measures on this problem. A study published in The Guardian has revealed that for each dollar earned by men, women just get 77% of it, which means 77 cents, globally. Though the gender pay gap is closing in every nation, the process is glacial. Also, the question of whether companies will obey the regulations about gender pay gap or not is a considerable difficulty. To illustrate, in 2023, the Parliament in Australia passed changes to the laws “Workplace Gender Equality Act 2012” aiming at narrowing the pay gap; however, airline Jetstar is reported to have a high pay gap with 46.5 cent of women earned in comparison with a dollar men earned. Then it will dramatically increase the unequal payment through gender. Additionally, women have to face a web of prejudices. For instance, some HR (human resource) executives are apprehensive about female laborers’ contribution for the enterprises as women who have families must spend more time on childcare. Therefore, the company is more likely not to hire them as it can affect the businesses’ benefits and it will put a financial burden on women. To undertake solutions to the gender pay gap, the most pivotal thing is the willingness of each person to change their perspectives about this issue and embrace the contribution that women have made in every field.

To conclude, it is clear that the gender pay gap is a pervasive problem that each nation worldwide is facing. Even if there are more measures or not to be implemented, the gap will close in the future. Hopefully, the government and citizens can join hands to reduce the gender pay gap as much as possible to assure fairness in the labour market.

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Welcome to our activity Padlet! Please follow the instructions below to complete the activity. If you have any questions, please ask your teacher for help. • Write a short essay or paragraph on the given aspect of peer review and equality. • Add a post in the 'Essay' section with your name, title, and the body of your essay. • Add a post in the 'Feedback' section to comment on at least 3 other essays using the criteria provided by the teacher.