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One of my favorite scents: citrus, jasmine, and vanilla

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Another big part of my life is having the ability to slow down and decompress. Right now, on social media especially, it is a trend for girls to perform "self care" and treat their mental health. While I think it is healthy, I don't think the idea of mental health awareness should be exclusive to feminism. Social constructs have made it so that men shouldn't be vulnerable and should instead "tough things out." Scents and candles have always been another interest of mine that I feel is seen as "feminine." For example, heavier scents like musk and tobacco are typical of male-coded scents while softer scents like florals and fruit are female-coded. However, I have to admit that some of my favorite scents are jasmine and citrus. When I tell people that I like to unwind by lighting a candle, I often get surprised reactions because self-care is more typical of girls. Despite this, it eases my mind to take care of myself and wind down. There are many instances where I perform gender in the sense of a man, but I also believe that I can perform gender femininely. While society bounds gender by two categories, everyone feels the same effects from their mental health. As a result, self-care is something that should not be bound by gender because everyone can benefit from it.

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This is a picture of my girlfriend, Samantha, that was taken while we were cooking dinner together. Since the rise of the term "heterosexuality" in 1892, I was born into a world where opposite sex relationships were the standard. Growing up, my parents and family always asked me, "do you have a girlfriend yet?" It was not until I was 18 that I had my first relationship, and my parents would sometimes ask me if I liked boys. Although it is not the case, I always wondered how they would react if it was the case. Being a male growing up, I always felt pressure to be "straight" and wondered why it would be wrong if I was "homosexual." Although love and attraction cannot be bound by two terms, the creation and normalization of heterosexuality has made it feel as if there is a right and wrong answer for sexuality. It is assumed that a child, when born, will marry the gender of the opposite sex. There are also classified "gender roles" within a relationship that have been created with society. For example, a man should be in charge of the responsibilities in a relationship and make the most money, while a woman should cater towards the man and take care of the family. However, I believe and implement the idea in my relationship that either party can act in any way that is comfortable.

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A "raindrop plant," which I have been growing for about a year now

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One hobby that I recently picked up this year was buying plants and nursing them. This is actually a step that I am very proud of because when I was younger, I never would have expected myself to love plants. When looking at gender expectations, it is a societal female trait to be a nurturer, taking care of kids and plants. Males, on the other hand, were expected to be interested in "masculine" hobbies like sports and cars. While I was never interested in either of those, I felt that many of my hobbies identified with the societal norm of feminism. Even now when I tell people that I nurse plants, I either get reactions that are surprised or even impressed. Times are still constantly changing and although it is still not completely accepted, men are not seen as gardeners. Fragile things like life are left to women in society, which is why it is normal to see moms taking their children out. However, I hope that this can change and that I can show a softer side of myself through my hobbies and interests.

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This is a photo I took of my friends and I at the beach together. This was a vulnerable moment that brings me happiness when I look back at it. Another societal norm that was created for the image of masculinity was the characteristic of being invulnerable. In contrast to this, most people would think it is uncommon for a group of boys to walk along the beach with one another. This is a moment that I am proud of because I have a relationship with my friends that allows me to be intimate and open. When I was younger, I had problems expressing my emotions because society has painted a picture that boys should be independent and stoic. This prevented me from forming closer relationships with those around me because I felt like I wasn't allowed to show my emotions or cry. However, once I got over this barrier, it was much easier for me to become closer to those around me and share my feelings. Although it is still apart of the gender construct that men don't share their feelings with one another, it is something that has brought me closer to many people. I think that everyone should be able to open up and share their feelings, regardless of gender. In addition to this, everyone should do whatever they want with their friends, even if it goes against societal norms.

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This is a picture of myself at the age of 21. Being born in the United States, there were only two official classifications of gender in society: male and female. When I was born, I had the gender of a male assigned to me. As a result, I now look back and recognize the gender specific treatment I received because I was a male. When I was young, I was always given "masculine" toys like legos and cars, as well as items in the color blue. Additionally, my parents and peers around me also expected me to be good at sports. Growing up, I was always interested in art and music, but my mom encouraged me to participate in sports, such as swimming, instead. I never felt that I was athletic and felt that I was inferior because of it. Boys around me typically played sports like basketball and football, but I never had an interest in it and felt insecure. Now that I am older, I realize that it was never a part of my identity, but something that was expected of me because I was a boy.