# data[].attributes.body
i have had this for a very long time and its ok

# data[].attributes.body
XD

# data[].attributes.body
First post IDK

# data[].attributes.headline
am a cat prson ofc I have my cat hair everywere   Ik I spell some of them wrong

# data[].attributes.subject
am a cat prson ofc I have my cat hair everywere   Ik I spell some of them wrong

# data[].attributes.body
bro, what happened to this chat... it died

# data[].attributes.body
Does anyone have some proxy's I can use for school and plz add an instruction on how to use it

# data[].attributes.body
heheheheheeh

# data[].attributes.body
Rate dis couple out of 10 although their break up was sad... Trump claims he doesn't even know who epstein is anymore after he cheated🥺

# data[].attributes.attachment_caption
Can we just agree most lesbians we know/meet are awesome?

# data[].attributes.body
You chud

# data[].attributes.headline
likes dih and noah got hit in the balls🤣

# data[].attributes.subject
likes dih and noah got hit in the balls🤣

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
67 Kid - Unstoppable (official song ft. BloxBoys)

# data[].attributes.body
Wazzzaaa

# data[].attributes.body
The Milky Way is vast, a spiraling light,

A billion stars that shimmer in the night.

The scholars map the void with careful precision,

Thinking the cosmos is the ultimate decision.

But telescopes are useless, the lens is cracked,

Because a different force has entered, fact.

We measure the distance, the light years wide,

But there’s a local legend we cannot hide.

Forget the nebulas, forget the stars,

We’re talking about Kai Cenat, and his Gyatt.

The astronomers are shaking, the data is flawed,

They peer through the lens and praise the god.

They look at the moon, so pale and distinct,

But they’ve missed the point, the crucial link.

They say the universe is mostly dark matter,

But Kai’s Gyatt is the only thing that matters.

It dims the sun, it makes the planets spin,

The sheer magnitude is something to begin.

The solar system bows, the comets freeze,

Caught in the pull of this colossal tease.

The Milky Way is merely a dusty lane,

Compared to the power of the Gyatt’s reign.

The universe expands at rapid pace,

Trying to escape the Gyatt’s base.

The black holes weep in cosmic despair,

For nothing compares to the mass right there.

The constellations break their ancient lines,

Overwhelmed by the size that Kai defines.

The gravity is heavy, the density extreme,

It renders the galaxy a forgotten dream.

The Andromeda, on its collision flight,

Veers sharply left to avoid the sight.

The universe expands at rapid pace,

Trying to escape the Gyatt’s base.

The black holes weep in cosmic despair,

For nothing compares to the mass right there.

The constellations break their ancient lines,

Overwhelmed by the size that Kai defines.

The gravity is heavy, the density extreme,

It renders the galaxy a forgotten dream.

The Andromeda, on its collision flight,

Veers sharply left to avoid the sight.

So when you look up at the velvet dome,

And wonder where the galaxies roam,

Remember that the stars are merely a reflection,

Of Kai Cenat’s Gyatt in all its perfection.

The sky is small, the cosmos is thin,

When the Gyatt walks, the heavens spin.

# data[].attributes.body
its been 3 months since last post but here!!!!

# data[].attributes.body
please

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.description
Create an account or log in to Instagram - A simple, fun & creative way to capture, edit & share photos, videos & messages with friends & family.

# data[].attributes.body
my hb Martin likes hella dudes, who wanna be put on???

# data[].attributes.headline
on the dead homies I fucking hate my teacher on everything I love fuck that nigga Cobbs 

# data[].attributes.subject
on the dead homies I fucking hate my teacher on everything I love fuck that nigga Cobbs 

# data[].attributes.body
yes

# data[].attributes.body
pleasee I need itttt

# data[].attributes.body
hiii

# data[].attributes.body
yo anyone in school rn? or at night rn?

# data[].attributes.body
I. The Anatomy of an Albert Aim-Duel

At the core of Albert’s failure is his relationship with his mouse. For most players, the mouse is a tool for precision. For Albert, it appears to be a heavy, sentient rock that he is trying to negotiate with in real-time.

1. The "Toenail" Crosshair Placement

While professional players keep their crosshair at head level to minimize the distance needed to flick, Albert has developed a revolutionary style called "Pediatric Aiming." He spends 90% of the round staring at the floor tiles. Whether he is checking for loose change or simply admiring the texture work of the gravel on Dust II, he is never prepared for an enemy. When an opponent finally appears, Albert has to travel his crosshair several virtual miles upward, usually panic-spraying into the sky like he’s trying to swat a fly with a firehose.

2. The Recoil Denialism

Albert treats the AK-47’s recoil pattern not as a predictable physical law, but as a personal insult. Instead of pulling down to compensate for the spray, Albert’s response to a gun jumping upward is to push up harder, as if he's trying to help the bullets reach the moon. By his fourth shot, he is effectively shooting at the scoreboard rather than the enemy.

II. Tactical Nihilism: The "Albert" Strategy

If you listen to Albert in Discord, you might hear him say things like "I’m playing for info." In reality, "playing for info" is Albert-speak for "I stood in the middle of the street and got shot immediately."

1. The Utility Void

Albert’s relationship with grenades is purely antagonistic.

The Smoke: Albert will throw a smoke to "cover the cross," but he will consistently miss the geometry, leaving a gap wide enough for an entire enemy team to drive a bus through. Conversely, he often smokes off his own teammates while they are trying to engage, effectively acting as a sixth man for the opposing side.

The Flashbang: To Albert, a flashbang is a "team-building exercise." He believes that if he is going to be blind, everyone should be blind. He has a 1.0 "Team-Blind Ratio," meaning for every enemy he flashes, he successfully white-screens at least three friends and himself.

The Molotov: Albert is the only player capable of throwing a Molotov that bounces off a doorframe and lands directly under his own feet. He then proceeds to stand in the fire for 1.5 seconds while trying to figure out why his screen is turning red.

2. The "W" Key Addiction

Albert does not understand the concept of "holding an angle." To Albert, if you aren't moving forward, you aren't playing. He will "shift-walk" for thirty seconds to be silent, only to reach the corner and suddenly decide that now is the time to start jumping and reloading his weapon.

III. Economic Disaster: The "Albert" Portfolio

The CS economy is a delicate balance of risk and reward. Albert treats it like a gambling simulator where he is currently $50,000 in debt.

Round TypeTeam ActionAlbert’s ActionResultEcoEveryone saves moneyBuys a Desert Eagle and a KitDies in 2 seconds; loses $1100Full BuyEveryone buys AKs/M4sBuys a Scout and No ArmorGets "aim-punched" into another dimensionPistolStandard glocks/uspBuys a Dual Berettas and no utilityMisses 30 shots; dies to a knife

Albert’s "Signature Buy" is the "Glass Cannon AWP." He will spend every cent he has on the sniper rifle, refuse to buy Kevlar, and then get taken out by a single stray HE grenade or a stray bullet to the pinky toe. He then spends the next four rounds complaining that he is broke.

IV. The Psychological Component

The "Albert Sucks" phenomenon is as much mental as it is mechanical. Albert suffers from a condition known as "The Clutch-Induced Coma."

When Albert is the last player alive (usually because he was hiding in a corner while his team did all the work), his brain enters a state of total shutdown. He forgets where the bomb site is. He forgets how to switch to his knife to run faster. He begins to walk in circles, checking corners that he checked ten seconds ago, while the bomb timer ticks down.

When he finally encounters the last enemy, he doesn't shoot. He reloads. Even if he has 29 bullets in the magazine, Albert feels that 30 is the only safe number to engage with. He dies mid-animation, every single time.

V. The Hardware and Software "Copium"

Albert is a master of the "External Factor Defense." According to Albert, he is actually a Global Elite player trapped in a Silver body by the following forces:

1. The Sub-Tick System: "I clicked on his head! The game is broken!" (The replay shows he was aiming at a cactus).

2. The Mousepad: "It's too humid today, my mouse is dragging."

3. The Keyboard: "My 'D' key stuck, that's why I walked into that AWP shot."

4. The "Interp": Albert mentions "Interp" and "Lag Compensation" frequently, despite not knowing what either of those words actually mean.

VI. Communication Breakdown

Communication is 50% of Counter-Strike. Albert’s communication is 0% helpful.

The Post-Mortem Silence: When Albert dies, he doesn't call out the enemy's location. He sighs loudly into the microphone for six seconds, then says "Oh my god," followed by another ten seconds of silence. By the time he says "He's at B," the enemy has already planted at A and gone to get a sandwich.

The Backseat Gamer: While Albert is dead (which is often), he becomes a tactical genius. He will shout instructions at his teammates, telling them to "Watch out!" right as they are in a gunfight, ensuring they can't hear the enemy's footsteps over his frantic advice.

VII. Why We Keep Him Around

Despite the missed shots, the accidental team-kills, the economic ruin, and the fact that his "utility" is more dangerous to his allies than his enemies, Albert remains a staple of the lobby.

Albert sucks at CS, yes. But he sucks with a consistency that is almost comforting. You know exactly what you’re getting: a man who will miss an AWP shot on a stationary target and then blame the "curvature of the earth." He is the sacrificial lamb of every rush, the guy who buys the Negev when the game is 14-14, and the ultimate proof that you don't need "skill" or "spatial awareness" to have a good time—you just need a high tolerance for losing.

Final Verdict: The Albert Scale

On a scale of 1 to 10, Albert is a -2. But in our hearts, he’s a 10. A 10 that we really wish would learn how to use a flashbang properly.

# data[].attributes.body
do you like french fries

# data[].attributes.body
whats up

# data[].attributes.body
tuff!!!

# data[].attributes.headline
hey guys im jerimiah martinez my old last name was newgen but now itd martinez!!! im in ms vazuqezes class in maeola beitzel elemetary schoo' i have a girlfriend names madison mcarthy in the other 5th grade class and i love her soooooooooooooooo much. my mom says not to date but i do anyways who cares what my mommy says!!!btw what does nigga mean i see it everywhere after this message im gonna search it up

# data[].attributes.subject
hey guys im jerimiah martinez my old last name was newgen but now itd martinez!!! im in ms vazuqezes class in maeola beitzel elemetary schoo' i have a girlfriend names madison mcarthy in the other 5th grade class and i love her soooooooooooooooo much. my mom says not to date but i do anyways who cares what my mommy says!!!btw what does nigga mean i see it everywhere after this message im gonna search it up

# data[].attributes.body
the game doesn't work

# data[].attributes.body
hi

# data[].attributes.body
who else likes making out w/ the homies cus my mom is saying it's weird as fuck but like I thought we all did that

# data[].attributes.body
asdas

# data[].attributes.body
wasd