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Dear Future Self, I’m learning how to find peace, knowing that I’ve been through a lot growing up. I didn’t deserve all that. I’ve always been fighting for what’s mine just surviving, just living. Today, I don’t look good because the same problems keep coming through, and it’s hard to accept things as they are. Maybe it’s because of expectations. But I’m trying to understand it all. I hope you find your own peace. I hope you find the kind of love who will love you for who you are, support you till the end, and make you feel secure enough to be loved. I want to feel safe enough to finally say, “I am free.” I hope you achieve the goals we always wanted. I hope one day we’ll find peace and joy and start receiving the happiness and love that I deserve.

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Fun fact: I’m a 100% caffeine addict hahaha  I drink my coffee every day and even bring one to school. I love to explore new cafes, and I love Spanish latte with sea salt foam hehehe  I always find coffee as my comfort drink even if coffee is like water to me. I even have a small coffee bar at home to make my everyday coffee.

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The things I like are my friends who surround me who always has my back whenever I needed them and supports me when I’m at my highest or lowest point in life. They are always there by my side, supporting my crazy decisions in life hahaha

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I’m a student of Ateneo de Davao since Nursery up until now, and I’m proud to be an Atenean because Ateneo has shaped me into the person I am today, a strong and better person

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My hobbies are discovering new recipes in cooking and baking. I found this as my comfort, and I love to let my friends and family try my dishes or pastries 

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Trust vs Mistrust
At this infancy stage, I rely on my needs such as milk, care, comfort, and affection. Of course, I was too emotional at this stage, I cried for food, when I'm sleepy, or just felt like it. I trust my family to take care of me. The virtue I developed is hope, where I always know someone is there to provide me with special affection in order to feel secure and optimistic.

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Initiative Vs Guilt
At this early childhood stage, I usually take initiative to play with my childhood friends. We enjoyed to play tag, bingo, and many more.
It made me feel encouraged to try things to expand my imagination.
Although, when the elders or my family sometimes be protective, they might seem to control me, making me feel guilty for the things I've done.

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Doubt and Shame.    At this stage, I explore more about my independence. I stand and walk on my own successfully! I even tried to read a book, play with my toys, and socialize more with my cousins and the neighbor friends. At this stage, I also experienced my first birthday party. Although I don't remember anything of it, it still holds an important part of me.This independence helped me to develop autonomy, where I gained more confidence in myself.However, I do also experience shame and doubt whenever my family restricts me in what I do.

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When I entered high school, I became a bubbly and outgoing person with an extrovert personality that attracted a lot of people, which they really liked about me. Throughout my high school journey, I learned so much—not just about my personal interests but also about myself as a leader. I discovered my skills in leading and planning events or activities, which often placed us in competitions and helped me develop into the leader I am today. I also built many friendships that shaped who I am now, and even the people who became lessons in my life made me grateful for the whole experience of high school.

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At this stage, my younger self tends to focus on doing her best at school because she knows that she's capable of achieving her goals reaching for honors.Although she needs a little push from her peers to join new clubs, organizations, and sports.
However, this girl also experiences insecurity; she often doubts herself despite her achievements because she always has the mindset that there's always someone better than her, even though she has worked so hard for them. Fortunately, she has grown out of this mindset and focuses on herself, with the only competition being herself and not others. This ideal helps her to focus and strive better for myself till day!

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16 Personalities Test
I got ISFP-T and I agree because I shifted from being fully extrovert to half introvert, which made me observant, understanding, and supportive of people around me. This personality type helped me discover who I am, gain a deeper understanding of myself, and learn how I approach and relate to others.

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When I encounter conflict, I isolate myself and reflect. When I feel anxious, I stress eat with comfort foods. I find it challenging to manage emotions when I have to deal with them alone. I feel happy when others trust me with their feelings, as I often give advice and help. I practice empathy by maintaining good relationships and validating others. I recognized someone’s emotions when they were distant and not themselves. Emotional intelligence helps me when I feel stressed and overwhelmed. I can improve my regulation by cooling down and breathing, as my boyfriend taught me. Emotional intelligence is important because it improves relationships. Developing it leads to healthier relationships and better self-awareness.Grade 11 was my downfall because of a new environment, overwhelming tasks, and heavy responsibilities as a class representative. I struggled with backstabbing, dropping grades, and failing to make it to the honors list, which made me depressed. I managed my emotions through the support of my lover, who helped me calm down, reflect, and reminded me not to take life too seriously. He taught me to do things that make me happy, reassured me it’s okay to feel my emotions, and encouraged me to pray to God. Having him as my support system made me stronger, taught me emotional control, and helped me realize the importance of healthy relationships and knowing who the real ones are during difficult times.

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Creating the mind map helped me reflect on my learning preferences, gain more insight, and enjoy the process while becoming aware of my strengths. It guided me to grow as a person by practicing magis, doing more than what is required, and gaining knowledge every day. I can apply this by being consistent in my study habits, striving to do more than what is expected, and challenging myself to aim higher as a responsible Atenean.

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Lately, my stressors are my relationship with constant misunderstandings and feeling invalidated, academic pressure from dropping grades despite studying hard, and expectations from others as a leader and a person, which makes me feel I’m losing myself. When stressed, I experience headaches, fever, tiredness, mood swings, anxiety and panic attacks, random crying, anger, overthinking, procrastination, bad eating habits, being avoidant, nail biting, isolation, and lack of sleep or oversleeping.

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Purple and Lilac Project Management Mind Map