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Free, confidential support for people experiencing problems with alcohol and drugs
Self-refer tel: 0300 124 0103 or self-refer online

One to one support by appointment, support groups, whole family sessions, couples support sessions

24 hours carers’ support line 02380399764

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We want to enable you to make the changes that you want to make, whether that is to reduce or completely stop your use. We can provide a team of Doctors, Nurses, Recovery Workers, Community Connectors, Peer Mentors and Recovery Coaches to help you achieve this.
Success for us is when you hit your goals and enabling you to be happy, healthy and well. We look forward to achieving this with you.

We offer a free and easy to access service. If you are concerned and need to look for some advice or support then please call: 0300 124 0103, or use our online referral form.

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We want to enable you to make the changes that you want to make, whether that is to reduce or completely stop your use. We can provide a team of Doctors, Nurses, Recovery Workers, Community Connectors, Peer Mentors and Recovery Coaches to help you achieve this.

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Advice and support for families of drinkers, free phone line.

Free and inclusive meetings for the benefit of families & friends of drinkers
Tel: 0800 0086 811 (10am to 10pm, seven days a week)

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Parental support and 1:1 support with pupils. Referral through the school. No cost.

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Anxiety in children

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- If your child seems anxious - for instance, they're not their usual self - take time to understand what's going on. You'll then be in a better place to help them.

Things you can try

1. Start by letting your child know you've noticed a change in their behaviour or mood.
You could say something like - 'you seem a bit wobbly today, what's up? I'm wondering if you're a bit worried about something.'

2. Encourage your child to tell you how they feel.
Asking - "maybe you're worried about speaking in assembly today?"

3. Teach your child to calm anxious feelings by breathing slowly together, rocking gently, or listening to calming music. You could even try yoga!

4. Or your child may feel better after doing something very active, like running or skipping. Or going for a walk.

5. There are other things you can do to you can help your child cope with situations that make them anxious.
For instance, if they're anxious about going on a play date, keep the play date short and make sure it's with a familiar friend.

I wanted to say don't worry. But I realised the best way for me to help my child was to acknowledge how they were feeling and not to find that frightening. It was good to remind us both that being anxious is normal and going for a walk and using our breath to calm us, helps.

6. Look after yourself too.
Talk to other adults, you're not alone and your child's anxiety can make you anxious too.

7. Your child is unique and we hope there are some takeaways here that work for you. If you're looking for help parenting children with additional needs, you can get specific advice from specialist organisations. Check out our list of support that we can recommend.

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Place2Be: Parenting Smart: My child is anxious

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Is your child feeling anxious? It's normal for children to worry or feel nervous sometimes. Try Parenting Smart's tips to help your child manage their feelings

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As part of the Primary Behaviour Service, Family Well-being Support can be offered. There is an initial meeting with the parent/carer and then bespoke support.
Referral through the school.  No cost.

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Online evidence-based treatments for depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD & phobias
Self-referral at www.italk.co.uk No cost.

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Hampshire and Isle of Wight NHS Foundation Trust

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Hampshire and Isle of Wight NHS Foundation Trust

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Hampshire :: Hampshire and Isle of Wight NHS Foundation Trust

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*Parent/carer workshops for support
*Pre, during & post diagnosis support
*Support groups

Telephone: 01489 880881
Self-referral at:

information.advice@autismhampshire.org.uk

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Hampshire Specialist Parenting Support Service
Parenting programmes for parents and carers for children aged 5-17 with a diagnosis of autism or an assessment in process

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A neurodiversity charity giving support for parents / carers and families
Courses for parents and carers
Self-referral by signing up on the website

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The ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity - an integrated health and education service.

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Offer information and advice
Monthly age-appropriate support groups in Hampshire
Telephone support help line 02380 647 550
Families to self-refer by phoning 01794 323934 or emailing info@simonsays.org.uk

No cost

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Winston's Wish (Child Bereavement Support)

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Winston's Wish (Child Bereavement Support)

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Freephone help line, online chat and Ask email service.  Lots of publications to support families.  Grief support groups. No cost.
Families to self-refer www.winstonswish.org
Tel: 08088 020 021

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Group support sessions
1:1 support
Online chat & telephone service
Self-referral at www.cruse.org.uk
Tel: 0808 808 1677
No cost

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Grief can be overwhelming - you don’t have to deal with it alone. Cruse Bereavement Support is here. Call our helpline or chat online.

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Youth website of Cruse Bereavement Support - young people living after loss.
Speak with a trained bereavement counsellor Mon-Fri 9am-9pm.
Tel: 0808 808 1677

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Adult bereavement counselling
Self-referral
Tel: 07827 491902

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Support group and access to resources
Self-referral
Tel: 07434-365815

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Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide - Overcoming the isolation of people bereaved by suicide

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We exist to meet the needs and overcome the isolation experienced by people over 18 who have been bereaved by suicide.

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Primary Behaviour Service - Family Well-being Support

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Primary Behaviour Service - Family Well-being Support

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Initial meeting with parent/carer and then bespoke support.
Referral through school and school nursing service.
No cost.

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Hampshire SPIP (The Separated Parents' Information Programme)

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Hampshire SPIP (The Separated Parents' Information Programme)

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Courses help parents manage the challenges of life after separation & how to help their children.
Courses run in Farnham.

There is a charge for this course.
Tel: 07977912320

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Protect and work with victims of domestic abuse
Referral through school, No cost.
You can also phone 03300 533630
If in immediate danger, phone 999

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Parental support and 1:1 support with pupils
i-talk referral
Referral through school. No cost.

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Volunteers who work alongside parents to overcome the challenges they are facing.
Referral through school. No cost

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School readiness programme, for families with children starting school
Book online at https://www.hampshirehealthyfamilies.org.uk/school-readiness

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School Readiness : Hampshire Healthy Families

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Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and Barnardos are working together to deliver the Healthy Child Programme throughout Hampshire. This website provides details for access to health visiting and school nursing services, workshops for healthy eating and support with post-natal depression.

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Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service
Help I’m in a crisis.  Quick sign posting and advice (see the link under how to refer)

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We are going to talk you through the steps you can take to keep yourself safe.

If you are upset and having thoughts and urges about hurting yourself, someone else or ending your life then stop, take a deep breath and read this page, or click the button to listen:

Have you made an attempt on your life or self-harmed and need urgent medical attention?

Let someone know you do not feel safe or are struggling (a parent/carer or professional helpline).

Text 'HANTS' to 85258 to be connected to a trained volunteer who can help with anxiety, stress, loneliness or depression

NHS Mental Health Triage Service
You can call 111 (24 hours a day, 7 days a week) or visit www.111.nhs.uk and speak to the NHS Mental Health Triage Service.

Alternatively you can call:

Freephone Samaritans
116 123
(24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

Freephone Childline
0800 1111
(24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

Follow your crisis or relapse prevention plan if you have one.
SHOUT text messaging service
This service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support.

Anyone in Hampshire and the Isle of Wight can text 'HANTS' to 85258 to speak by text with one of Shout's trained volunteers. Texting is anonymous and will not show up on your phone bill.

For more information visit the SHOUT website.

Call 999 and ask for an ambulance.

If you are with someone, let them know what you have done.

If you are on your own, get to a safe place and call someone (a parent/ carer or professional helpline):

Freephone Samaritans
116 123
(24 hours a day 7 days a week)

Freephone Childline
0800 1111
(24 hours a day, 7 days a week)

Have you already got a crisis or relapse plan that you can follow?

SHOUT text messaging service
This service provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support.

Anyone in Hampshire and the Isle of Wight can text 'HANTS' to 85258 to speak by text with one of Shout's trained volunteers. Texting is anonymous and will not show up on your phone bill.
For more information visit the SHOUT website.

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We are going to talk you through the steps you can take to keep yourself safe. If you are upset and having thoughts and urges about hurting yourself, someone else or ending your life then stop, take a deep breath and read this page, or click the button to listen: Have you made an attempt on your life or self-harmed and need urgent medical attention?

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Tel: 0800 1111 (24/7 freephone)

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People who are anxious, stressed, depressed, suicidal or overwhelmed and who need in-the-moment support.
Free, confidential 24/7 text messaging support service for anyone who is struggling to cope.
Text: 85258 (free)

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People who are having a difficult time or are concerned about someone else.
24/7 free, confidential advice & support
Self help app: Samaritans self-help
Free email & letter service
Tel: 116 123 phones manned 24/7 (free)
Email: jo@samaritans.org (response time is 24 hours)
Write a letter: Freepost Samaritans letters

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Children and young people who are experiencing a mental health crisis and need support.
24/7 crisis support
Text YM to 85258

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Prevention of young suicide.
Confidential suicide prevention advice.
Tel: 0800 0684141
Text 07860 039967
Email pat@papyrus-uk.org

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Sleep strategies for children

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Fortunately, specific behavioral changes and adjustments to the sleep environment will help most children with insomnia. We've compiled the top tips that are proven to help kids sleep. The recommendations outlined here are best suited for toddlers through early adolescence. Both babies and teens will have specific considerations of their own.

These lists may seem long, but you don't need to implement them all at once. It's better to focus on trying a few small changes, giving them time to work, and then adjusting your approach based on how your child responds.

Keep in mind that every child's sleep needs will vary based on their age, genetics, and cultural differences. Therefore, not all approaches will work equally well for all children, and there can be an element of trial and error. However, your patience will be rewarded in time as your little one learns to fall asleep quickly on their own and keep sleeping soundly through the night.

Sleep hygiene - a collection of habits and behaviors that promote good sleep - is vital for children. Many sleep struggles are caused or made worse by poor sleep hygiene. When practicing sleep hygiene, remember that consistency is key. Sleep strategies take time and repetition to be effective.

Create a Routine: Humans are creatures of habit. A lets your child's body and mind know that it's time to settle down and prepare for sleep. The actual routine can be specific to your child, but it should last around 20 minutes and consist of three to four quiet, soothing activities such as putting on PJs, brushing teeth, a warm bath, and reading. Bedtime routines provide children with a sense of familiarity and comfort, which acts in direct opposition to the uncertainty of insomnia.

Set a Bedtime: A sleep schedule works with your child's natural biological clock to promote dozing off with regularity. Bedtimes are most useful when they're consistent, so try to keep the same bedtime on weekends as on school nights. Altering bedtimes during the weekend will make it more difficult for kids to maintain their normal weekday schedules.

Implement a Screen Curfew: The ubiquity of screens makes this rule hard to implement, but it's well worth it. Mobile devices, TVs, and tablets emit a type of blue light that suppresses melatonin, a hormone that promotes sleep. Children may be to the effects of light from screens. Screen time also stimulates the brain, making it harder to wind down for sleep. Electronic devices should be kept out of the bedroom and ideally not used within one hour of bedtime. Consider using the created by the American Academy of Pediatrics.

Get Exercise: Physical activity is proven to help people of all ages . Most children need at least of exercise per day. Just make sure to avoid vigorous activity within two hours of bedtime. Otherwise, your child may feel wound-up and find it harder to fall asleep.

Avoid Scary or Violent Content: Feeling scared or worried is a common reason kids can't sleep. So it's no wonder that scary or violent movies, TV, video games, and even books in the evening are in children. If your kiddo likes the gory or spooky stuff, save it for the daytime.

Nix Caffeine: This is a no brainer. Caffeine is a stimulant that can both make it harder to fall asleep and reduce the quality of sleep. In addition to the usual suspects like soda, coffee, and energy drinks, watch out for more discreet sources like tea, decaf coffee (which still has trace amounts of caffeine) and chocolate. Even small amounts of caffeine can have a in a little body. Don't let your child consume caffeine , or preferably, avoid it all together.

Don't Sleep With a Pet: While it's tempting for tots to snuggle Fido in bed, a pet's movements and noises during the night can awaken them from a peaceful slumber. Try having your furry family member sleep outside of your child's bedroom for a few nights to see if that helps. To make the transition easier, include saying goodnight to pets in the bedtime routine.

Optimizing your child's bedroom is an integral part of inducing quick and seamless shuteye. People with insomnia are more likely to be distracted by an uncomfortable bedroom National Library of Medicine, Biotech Information The National Center for Biotechnology Information advances science and health by providing access to biomedical and genomic information. View Source , which makes sleep even harder. These tips can help you create the perfect sleep setup for your little one:

Room Temperature: The body and brain both in preparation for sleep, and this can be disrupted by a stuffy bedroom. To avoid this, try to keep the thermostat around 65 degrees.

Noise: Research suggests that even mild sound disturbances can , even if the sleeper never awakens. Consider noise-blocking curtains to cut down on street noise. You can also use a fan or white noise machine to drown out unpredictable or distracting sounds.

Light Level: Start dimming indoor lights as bedtime approaches, and keep your child's bedroom as dark as possible. This and . If your child is afraid of the dark, a small nightlight is okay.

Soothing smells: Calming scents like can have mild sedative effects. You might try using essential oils, a room diffuser, or dried potpourri sachet to provide a soothing, sleep-inducing smell.

Unfortunately, childhood anxiety is steadily rising Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) As the nation's health protection agency, CDC saves lives and protects people from health threats. known to disrupt sleep Anxiety and Depression Association of America (ADAA) ADAA's mission focuses on improving quality of life for those with anxiety, depression, OCD, PTSD, and co-occurring disorders through education, practice, and research. View Source . Stress is View Source in all ages, so anything that can reduce worrying before bed is helpful. Help your child learn to manage their concerns with these tactics:

Write In a Journal: Encourage your child to get their anxious thoughts out of their head and onto paper. It can also help for them to write about the good things that happened in the day. Focusing on the positive will help children feel more secure.

Mindfulness Exercises: Mindfulness exercises like meditation are proven to . There are many kid-friendly meditations that parents and children can do together. These often consist of simple breathing techniques, body awareness, or guided imagery. Look to books, tapes, and even smartphone apps for ideas.

Create a Worry Time: It's okay to discuss worries, just not at bedtime. Set aside a specific time during the day for your children to discuss their concerns and how to cope with them. This can free children of the need to dwell on worries before bed.

It's normal for even the best little sleepers to awaken from slumber and ask for a parent. When your child cries out for you, it's okay to tend to them. However, you should do so with intention. This is not the time to give in to demands, as doing so can increase stimulation and make it harder to fall asleep. Fulfilling your child's every request can also reinforce an unhelpful pattern of relying on parental assistance for sleep.

Instead, keep the checks short and simple. The point is to provide your child with reassurance that they're safe and cared for, while still fostering their ability to self-soothe and sleep on their own. Some parents may even wait a few seconds before answering a call so that their child has the opportunity to fall back asleep on their own.

If you have any doubt over whether your child's nighttime checks are appropriate, consult your child's doctor for guidance.

If your child continues to have trouble sleeping despite your best efforts, it may be time to check in with their pediatrician. Although uncommon, there can be more serious causes of childhood insomnia, such as childhood sleep apnea or restless leg syndrome.

Any of these reasons are cause to involve a doctor:

Significant daytime sleepiness

Frequent or severe snoring or other abnormal breathing during sleep

Suspected psychological or developmental condition

Considering medications or supplements to aid in sleep

For a couple of weeks before the doctor appointment, it can help to keep a sleep diary. This is a nightly recording of your child's bed time, nap times, sleep length, and activities. A sleep diary helps to identify patterns and possible problems to address.

Learn more about our Editorial Team

References

1. Esparham, A. (2020, January 2). Melatonin and Children's Sleep. HealthyChildren.Org.
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/healthy-living/sleep/Pages/Melatonin-and-Childrens-Sleep.aspx

2. Mindell, J. A., Li, A. M., Sadeh, A., Kwon, R., & Goh, D. Y. (2015). Bedtime routines for young children: a dose-dependent association with sleep outcomes. Sleep, 38(5), 717-722.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25325483/

3. LeBourgeois, M. K., Hale, L., Chang, A. M., Akacem, L. D., Montgomery-Downs, H. E., & Buxton, O. M. (2017). Digital media and sleep in childhood and adolescence. Pediatrics, 140(Suppl 2), S92-S96.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29093040/

4. Family Media Use Plan. (n.d.)., Retrieved September 23, 2020, from
https://www.healthychildren.org/English/media/Pages/default.aspx

5. A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia. (2017, August 30). Benefits of Exercise., Retrieved August 30, 2020, from
https://medlineplus.gov/benefitsofexercise.html

6. A.D.A.M. Medical Encyclopedia. (2017, August 30). How Much Exercise Do I Need?., Retrieved August 30, 2020, from
https://medlineplus.gov/howmuchexercisedoineed.html

7. Garrison, M. M., Liekweg, K., & Christakis, D. A. (2011). Media use and child sleep: the impact of content, timing, and environment. Pediatrics, 128(1), 29-35.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21708803/

8. Temple J. L. (2019). Review: Trends, Safety, and Recommendations for Caffeine Use in Children and Adolescents. Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, 58(1), 36-45.
https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/S0890856718318847

9. Drake, C., Roehrs, T., Shambroom, J., & Roth, T. (2013). Caffeine effects on sleep taken 0, 3, or 6 hours before going to bed. Journal of clinical sleep medicine : JCSM : official publication of the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, 9(11), 1195-1200.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24235903/

10. Narisawa H. (2013). Anxiety and its related factors at bedtime are associated with difficulty in falling asleep. The Tohoku journal of experimental medicine, 231(1), 37-43.
https://www.jstage.jst.go.jp/article/tjem/231/1/231_37/_article

11. Harding, E. C., Franks, N. P., & Wisden, W. (2019). The temperature dependence of sleep. Frontiers in Neuroscience, 13, 336.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/31105512/

12. Van Der Werf, Y. D., Altena, E., Schoonheim, M. M., Sanz-Arigita, E. J., Vis, J. C., De Rijke, W., & Van Someren, E. J. (2009). Sleep benefits subsequent hippocampal functioning. Nature neuroscience, 12(2), 122-123.
http://www.nature.com/articles/nn.2253

13. Burgess, H. J., & Molina, T. A. (2014). Home lighting before usual bedtime impacts circadian timing: a field study. Photochemistry and photobiology, 90(3), 723-726.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24918238/

14. Gooley, J. J., Chamberlain, K., Smith, K. A., Khalsa, S. B., Rajaratnam, S. M., Van Reen, E., Zeitzer, J. M., Czeisler, C. A., & Lockley, S. W. (2011). Exposure to room light before bedtime suppresses melatonin onset and shortens melatonin duration in humans. The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, 96(3), E463-E472.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21193540/

15. Koulivand, P. H., Khaleghi Ghadiri, M., & Gorji, A. (2013). Lavender and the nervous system. Evidence-based complementary and alternative medicine : eCAM, 2013, 681304.
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16. National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities. (2020, June 15). Data and Statistics on Children's Mental Health. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
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17. Anxiety and Depression Association of America. (n.d.). Sleep Disorders., Retrieved August 31, 2020, from
https://adaa.org/understanding-anxiety/related-illnesses/sleep-disorders

18. Ong, J. C., Manber, R., Segal, Z., Xia, Y., Shapiro, S., & Wyatt, J. K. (2014). A randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for chronic insomnia. Sleep, 37(9), 1553-1563.
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/25142566/

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Sleep Strategies for Children | Sleep Foundation

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Wondering about sleep aids for kids? These proven sleep tips will help children learn to fall asleep quickly and stay asleep.

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Getting your little ones to sleep can be tricky. Here are 10 tips that may help your kids settle into bed.

Sleep is an important part of maintaining good health, but issues with falling asleep aren't just problems that come with adulthood. Kids can have trouble getting enough rest, and when they can't sleep... you can't sleep.

Bedtime can become a battle zone when little ones won't settle in and fall asleep. But there are ways to even the odds of victory. Try using these 10 tips to learn how to fight the battle... and win!

School-age children need between 9 and 11 hours of sleep each night, according to the National Sleep Foundation. But there's a lot of variability in sleep needs and patterns. Most kids have patterns that don't change much, no matter what you do.

Early risers will still rise early even if you put them to bed later, and night owls won't fall asleep until their bodies are ready.

That's why it's important for parents to work with their children in setting a responsible bedtime that allows them to get plenty of sleep and awake on time, says Ashanti Woods, MD, a pediatrician in Baltimore, Maryland.

Set a wake-up time based on how much sleep your child needs and what time they go to bed. Woods recommends creating a wake-up routine as early as the preschool years to help prevent stress for parents down the road.

And remember to be consistent with the schedule. Allowing your child to sleep later on weekends is generous, but could backfire in the long run.

Those extra hours of sleep will make it hard for their body to feel tired at bedtime. But if you can try to make bedtime and wake-up time the same, within an hour or so every day, you'll be making everyone's lives sooooo much easier.

Routines are especially important for infants, toddlers, and preschoolers. Woods recommends that after dinner the remainder of the evening should include light playtime, bath, brushing teeth, a bedtime story, and then bed.

Aim for a routine that is comforting and relaxing, setting the ideal bedtime atmosphere. Before long, your child's body may automatically start to become sleepy at the beginning of the routine.

Melatonin is an important piece of sleep-wake cycles. When melatonin levels are at their highest, most people are sleepy and ready for bed.

Research from 2011 found that blue light from a television screen, phone, or computer monitor can interfere with the production of the hormone melatonin.

Watching TV, playing video games, or scrolling web pages on a phone or computer right before bed keep your child up an extra 30 to 60 minutes, according to this 2017 study.

Make the bedroom a screen-free zone or at least make sure all screens are dark at bedtime. And keep your phone on silent when you're in your child's room - or don't carry it in there at all.

Instead of screen time, Abhinav Singh, MD, director of the Indiana Sleep Center, recommends reading to your child in the evening to allow their brain to rest.

Another hormone that plays a role in sleep is cortisol, also known as the "stress hormone." When cortisol levels are high, your child's body won't be able to shut down and go to sleep.

Keep pre-bedtime activities calm. This can help avoid excess amounts of cortisol in your child's system. "You need to reduce stress to make it easier to fall asleep," says Dr. Sarah Mitchell, chiropractor and sleep consultant.

Soft sheets, room darkening shades, and relative quiet can help your child differentiate between day and night, making it easier to fall asleep.

"Creating a sleep-inducing environment is important because it sets the stage for sleep by reducing distractions," says Mitchell. "When you're calm you are not distracted, and can fall asleep more quickly and with less help."

Your child's sleep cycle isn't just dependent on light (or the lack thereof). It's also sensitive to temperature. Melatonin levels help to regulate the drop of internal body temperature needed to sleep.

However, you can help regulate the external temperature. Don't bundle your child up too much or set the heat too high.

Whitney Roban, PhD, clinical psychologist and sleep specialist, recommends dressing your child in breathable cotton pajamas and keeping the bedroom temperature around 65 to 70°F (18.3 to 21.1°C) at night.

Ghosts and other scary creatures may not actually roam around at night, but instead of dismissing bedtime fears, address them with your child.

If simple reassurance doesn't work, try using a special toy to stand guard at night or spray the room with "monster spray" before bed.

Roban recommends scheduling time during the day to address any fears and avoiding using bedtime for these type of conversations.

"Children are very smart and will quickly learn that they can stall bedtime if they use the time to express their bedtime fears," she says.

Kids can have trouble shutting their brains off for the night. So, instead of increasing that anxiety by insisting that it's time to go to bed ("now!"), consider focusing more on relaxation and keeping your child calm.

Tryteaching your child a deep breathing technique to calm their body. "Breathe in through your nose for 4 seconds, hold for 5 seconds, exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds," says Roban.

Younger children can just practice taking long, deep breaths in and out, she says.

Sometimes, your best-laid plans just don't yield the results that you want. (Hello, welcome to parenthood!)

If your child has trouble falling asleep, has persistent nightmares, snores, or breathes through their mouth, they might have a sleep disorder, says Mitchell.

Always talk to your pediatrician if you have any concerns about your child's sleeping habits. They may recommend a sleep consultant or have other suggestions for you to try so the entire family can get a good night's sleep!

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Bedtime can become a battle when little bodies don't abide by the clock. Here are 10 tips to learn how to win the fight.

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Parenting classes, Family support worker
Interagency referral through school - the Early Help Hub (Children's Services) will decide the best course of action. No cost.

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A Child Therapist's favourite resources for helping to manage anger.

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Inside: Kid-friendly coping skills used to help manage anger, including safe ways to express anger, books to read and videos that can help. This post contains affiliate links. Learn more.
It's starting again, as usual, right after your son gets off the school bus. He is frustrated from things that happened during the day, and now he's yelling and stomping around the house. You're feeling overwhelmed and don't know what to do next.
How do you help an angry child?
Here's a collection of the best tools and tips to teach children how to manage their anger in safe and healthy ways. Let's start with some quick, safe ways to help kids express those feelings.

Looking for more quick ideas to help kids express their anger?
Stop sensory meltdowns by hanging upside down 5 simple ways to help children calm angry feelings 10 more ways to help kids manage anger A Different Way to Respond When Your Child is Aggressive
We need to help our kids understand and expect that they will experience a variety of feelings as they go through life, including anger. It's normal to feel angry at times. It's what you do with those feelings that matter.

Here's a great reminder from Imperfect Families that anger is a feeling too.

When a child is in fight, flight or freeze mode, they can't process information as well as when their body is in rest and digest mode. This is not a teachable moment, and they can't take in a lecture at this point. Your goal is to get them through this rough moment. It's best to keep talking to a minimum. When you do speak, make sure you use a neutral, calm, and quiet tone. Keep it short and repeat the same phrase. Repeating it is helpful because they aren't processing information and words as they usually would. Repetition makes it more likely that they'll hear what you are saying.

Phrases that you can say at that moment:

"I'm here for you."

"I love you."

"I want to help you."

"Let me know when you're ready."

"You are mad; I get it."

"I understand."

Looking for some more inspiration for phrases to say? Check this out:
26 Phrases to Calm and Angry Child
When some kids get big feelings, they destroy items around them - rip books, throw toys, etc. If that's the case for your child, it may be helpful for you to set up a safe spot where kids can go when they are angry. In that space, take everything out that can be destroyed or thrown that might injure someone or damage property. If you have more than one floor, set up a safe spot on each level of your home.

If you aren't in the safe spot when your child is dealing with big feelings, move harmful objects out of the way and try to get them to that safe place.

It may make sense to set up their room as a safe place too. We found this helpful when our son was dealing with a lot of angry feelings. We moved his toys and his bookshelf to a different room in the house so he could still play with them. The items that stayed in his room were those things that wouldn't hurt him or us. We did this to keep everyone, including him, safe. And as time went on, and he had better control of his emotions, we were able to add things back to his room.

How to Make a Calm Down Spot at home
Calm Space in Schools
One of the best things you can do is work on teaching coping skills kids can use before things escalate to epic proportions. The trick is practicing when they are in a calm and relaxed mood, not in the moment when they are angry.

Identify Triggers

Start by talking about what's making them angry. Help them identify those triggers, so you both know for the next time. Is it a particular school subject that makes them frustrated? Perhaps being hungry or thirsty? Are their specific noises or locations that are frustrating?

help kids identify where they feel angry in their body

Sometimes, kids don't know they're angry until after the explosion has happened. Help them identify the signs their body gives them that they are feeling angry. Over time, they'll start to recognize that feeling and ideally use a coping skill before things get too overwhelming.

Explore what other emotions they may be feeling

When kids are angry, there are usually other feelings that they are experiencing too. But anger is easy to see and often hides different feelings that lie below the surface. It's sometimes referred to as the "Anger Iceberg." It takes a bit of time to figure it out, but when your child is in a calm place, talk about what other feelings may be hiding underneath their anger.

Read more about the anger iceberg here.

Identify and practice coping skills

Now that they know what causes those big feelings and how to identify them, help them figure out ways to deal with those feelings in safe and healthy ways. Go through the coping skills checklist and have kids check off the skills that work for them, cross off the ones that don't and circle the ones they want to try.

Identify one coping skill your child would like to try. Take a few minutes during the week and have them practice a coping skill they may be able to use next time. For example, if they are going to try using shapes for deep breathing, have them practice before, so they know how it feels. The idea is to have them practice, so they know what it feels like to do it when they are calm.

Using coping skills to deal with big feelings will not go perfectly every time. Learning to manage anger is a work in progress. Little by little, with practice and time, kids will get better at it. Encourage them when they make safe and healthy choices. When they don't, continue to work with them to figure out better steps they can take the next time.

Use a Feelings Thermometer

Using a feelings thermometer can help kids make the connection between their feelings and their coping skills. Here's how you can make an anger thermometer.

How to Make an Anger Thermometer:

Have the child pick out three colors, one for each section of the thermometer and color it in. Then talk about each section.

Ask what it looks like when they are just a little angry, at the bottom of the thermometer. Do they sigh loudly, growl, etc.?

Then move on to the middle section of the thermometer. If they are medium-sized angry, what does that look like? Does their voice get louder? Do they stomp their feet, etc.?

Finally, talk about what it looks like when they are experiencing big anger at the top of the thermometer. What does that look like? Is it yelling, throwing things, etc.?

It isn't always easy for kids to do this. If they are having a hard time identifying what the behaviors were, I tell them what I noticed the last time I saw them get angry. Or, if I haven't seen them angry, I'll give them a prompt to help them, like "When some kids get angry, they yell, is that something you do?"

Once we go through and identify behaviors on the thermometer, then we work on identifying coping skills they can use to calm down. Some examples include getting a drink of water, taking deep breaths, shredding paper, or taking a break.

Make sure they have coping skills that will help them at each level of anger. It's essential to have a variety of coping skills for each level because not all coping skills will work all the time. For some kids, taking a drink of water can help calm them down when they are just slightly angry. However, when they are furious, getting a drink of water won't help. They need to do something different at that point, like take a break.

When Sophie Gets Angry, Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang Poor Sophie has a hard time managing her anger when she has to share gorilla with her sister. It's a visually appealing book to show how big her feelings get and how it looks when she calms down again.

When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is part of "The Way I Feel" series. It explains how different things can make you angry, and that feeling angry is an expected part of life, but it's what you do when you're feeling that way that matters.

Cool Down and Work Through Anger by Cheri J. Meiners M.Ed. Another great book that talks about how anger affects your body and suggesting safe ways to express yourself.

Angry Octopus by Lori Lite and Max Stasuyk A great book that actually is a progressive muscle relaxation and deep breathing script for kids. It's wonderful!

Don't Rant and Rave on Wednesdays by Adolph Moser It mentions the consequences of having unchecked anger, and acknowledges that adults struggle with this too. A large part of the book explains different strategies kids can use to express anger in a safe way, which I think is fantastic.

How to Take The Grrrr Out of Anger by Elizabeth Verdick and Marjorie Lisovskis I love using this book for kids who are having a hard time managing being angry. I typically read one chapter at a time with the kids and work on some of the strategies listed in the book.

What to Do When Your Temper Flares by Dawn Huebner This book has lovely illustrations and goes through "anger dousing" methods.

Happiness Doesn't Come from Headstands by Tamara Levitt. This is a beautifully illustrated book all about growth mindset and resilience. Leela wants to do headstands and is getting frustrated, and believes the only way she can be happy is if she does headstands. With the help of a friend, she shifts her focus from what she can't do to what she can and focuses on the journey, not the singular goal is doing a headstand.

The Secret to Clara's Calm by Tamara Levitt. This is another beautifully illustrated book that demonstrates the power of mindfulness in managing big feelings. Clara has a bad temper and has big reactions to small problems, but then that leads to kids not wanting to be around her anymore. She works on learning how to be mindful and manage her big feelings with the help of a bird named Brodhi.

Chillax!: How Ernie Learns to Chill Out, Relax and Take Charge of His Anger by Marcella Marino Craver This is a graphic novel, perfect for the tween set.

It's common for parents to struggle with staying calm when their child is angry. As a mom, I know that's tough, especially when your child is having a difficult time. But it's important to learn to do it. You have to get yourself calm before you can help your child. One of the best ways to help your child is to make sure you stay calm yourself.

Use Self-Talk

Here are some phrases that may help you as you are working with your angry kid:

They're having a hard time, not giving me a hard time.

Share my calm, don't join their chaos.

I am in charge of staying calm, no matter how my child is acting and behaving.

All feelings are OK. My job is to help my kid manage them.

I can remain calm, and be a good example for my child.

Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

TAKE Deep Breaths

If you're getting upset and about to blow up, try deep breathing. I know, it sounds hokey, but it makes a difference. When you are feeling overwhelmed, your body can go into fight, flight, or freeze mode, but in situations like these, you want to stay in rest and digest mode. By taking deep breaths, you're signaling your body to go back to rest and digest mode. Expand your belly as you inhale, and contract your belly as you exhale. Try taking several deep breaths before you take steps to intervene.

Use a grounding technique

If you're overwhelmed, sometimes it helps to do a grounding exercise to calm yourself down.

FIND your support system

Know that you are not alone. Read what this mom has to say about parenting an angry child. If you don't have a support system, then it's time to find one. Here are some ideas for both in person and online support groups to help you.
In Person Support:
There are lots of places you can get support in person. One resource I love is the National Alliance on Mental Illness. They offer Family Support Groups, which meet regularly. They also offer a 12 week class for parents by parents, called Family to Family Support. Search for your local NAMI chapter here.

Having support for your child outside of your family can be a lifesaver. Talk to the school, teachers and coaches to help support your child during a difficult time. Sharing knowledge about what strategies work, and how you child responds in different environments is invaluable information.

You can also seek help from a licensed therapist to help support you. It's great to have someone to talk through the tough situations you are experiencing. If scheduling an in-person meeting is tough, you can see therapists online at sites like betterhelp.com. Some kids also benefit from seeing their own therapist. Read this to get a little more information about when you should seek outside help for your child.
Facebook Groups:
Did you know you can search for groups on Facebook to find others who are struggling with similar issues to yours? Here are some active Facebook Groups that have been helpful for families.
Note: You may need to apply to some of these groups in order to be added.
Support for Sensory Needs

Raising Poppies

Happy Sensitive Kids Community

Modern Parenting

The Neighborhood, Imperfect Families

The World's Okayest Parents
Coping Skills for Kids Group
As your son continues to stomp and growl, you take a few deep breaths and say to yourself "Be the thermostat, not the thermometer." Then, in a calm voice, you say to your son "I'm here to help. I love you."

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Inside: Kid-friendly coping skills used to help manage anger, including safe ways to express anger, books to read and videos that can help. This post contains affiliate links. Learn more. It's starting again, as usual, right after your son gets off the school bus.

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Educational Psychology Telephone support line

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Educational Psychology Telephone support line

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An opportunity to ask advice from Educational Psychology following a conversation with the SEN team at school.

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Signposting support for adults.

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Advice for parents/carers on sleep routines

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An article on the importance of sleep and a video with top tips on getting a good night's sleep.

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It's a time dedicated to celebrating sleep and highlighting the importance of sleep health.

This year, the event falls on 17 March and the theme is 'sleep is essential for health'. It's because sleep is a really importance part of our physical, mental and social wellbeing, just like eating well and being active.

So why exactly do we sleep? And how can we help ourselves get the best night's sleep possible?

Read on to find out more.

What happens when we sleep?

For a long time, scientists haven't completely agreed on the function of sleep and it's been difficult to work out exactly why we do it and what happens to our bodies while we're catching some kip.

However, it's widely believed humans need to sleep in order to give our bodies - and, in particular, our brains - a chance to rest and recover.

It can help us feel more refreshed and alert when we wake up.

In fact, there are areas of the brain that are more active when we're asleep than when we are awake, so we know it's up to something!

"When we are asleep, our muscles relax and the body gets a good chance to rest. It's the same for our mind," clinical psychologist Dr Claire Halsey told Newsround.

There are two key activities that research suggests happen in our brains when we sleep:

Our brain cells build up new connections with other parts of the brain as we go through life, as we learn things and make memories, for example.

While we are asleep, it is believed that important connections are made stronger and ones that aren't as important are removed.

"All the important things we did and learnt during the day are stored and organised, and things we don't need are washed away ready for new experiences next day," explains Dr Halsey.

A bit like someone might prune bushes in the garden to get rid of dead leaves to help the rest of the healthy bush grow, the brain almost prunes its connections while we sleep.

This helps all sorts of things like memory and creativity.

Sleep is also a good chance for our brain to get rid of rubbish that it doesn't want.

Dr Halsey says: "Although we may not know it, sleep gives our brains the opportunity to take a break and tidy up!"

A study by researchers at the University of Rochester Medical Centre in New York showed the brain may have its own cleaning system which washes away waste as we sleep - almost like an overnight freshen up.

Sleep is the golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.

Thomas Dekker, Elizabethan dramatist

Why do we need sleep?

While scientists continue to look at exactly what happens when our bodies sleep, studies have also been done that focus on what happens if we don't get enough sleep, which can help to explain why we need it.

"It's not easy to discover what goes on during sleep. We often find out from testing people who have not slept to see what happens. We know from these tests that sleep is important to our health as well as learning and coordination," Dr Halsey explains.

When we sleep well, we're actually helping our genes, which are really important as they build proteins in our bodies and help different cells to function.

Research has showed a lack of sleep can change the way that genes in our bodies behave.

Scientists from Surrey University found genes involved in inflammation increase their activity when we don't get enough sleep. They believe it is because the body is under stress, so we need to get enough kip to make sure the genes in our bodies behave normally.

Having a good night's sleep usually means we're more alert, ready to learn and helps us react quickly and be well coordinated.

When you haven't had enough sleep, you can feel a bit dozy and slower, and it can be hard to think completely straight.

Research has also shown there could be a scientific reason for that too, as parts of the brain could actually be 'asleep' (or inactive) while you're awake, if you haven't had enough rest.

Did you know?

Not only that, but getting enough sleep helps our mood too. If you don't get enough, you might find yourself being a bit grumpy or irritable.

Aside from helping to reduce the risk of more serious medical conditions, the right amount of sleep helps us to fight off more common illnesses.

"If you seem to catch every cold and flu that's going around, your bedtime could be to blame. Prolonged lack of sleep can disrupt your immune system, so you're less able to fend off bugs," the NHS says.

Our bodies have a natural rhythm, or internal clock, which help it to carry out important functions and processes.

However, not having enough sleep can throw this off.

Doing this can affect things like our metabolism, which describes the chemical processes in the body that help turn the food we eat into energy, so it's important to let our bodies rest as much as they need to.

Scientists are still trying to work out all the answers to exactly why we completely switch off our bodies for one-third of our lives and what happens when we do it.

"Why is sleep such as mystery? Sleep is a state of mind and body that's not completely in our control. We have to 'let' ourselves fall asleep and can't force sleep to happen and this makes it extra puzzling," Dr Halsey says.

"While you're sleeping, plenty is going on to help you wake up ready and keen for a new day. Right now, scientists are still learning about how sleep does us so much good. It's exciting to think there are mysteries about sleep still to solve," says Dr Halsey.

One thing we do know for sure even now is that it is definitely good idea to catch the right amount of zzzs!

With thanks to clinical psychologist and broadcaster Dr Claire Halsey

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World Sleep Day 2023: What happens when you sleep?

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Every night, we close our eyes and our bodies rest. But what actually happens to our bodies when we sleep? Why is it important we rest like this?

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Sleep tracks for children (music, guided relaxation, etc)

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Sleep tracks for children (music, guided relaxation, etc)

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Sleep meditation for children and relaxation tools can help children unwind and prepare for sleep. Through body scans, imagination and deep breathing, they are able to relax and self-soothe.

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The world’s largest free library of guided meditations.

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Young minds advice for supporting a child with ADHD

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Young minds advice for supporting a child with ADHD

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Help your child with ADHD. Parents guide to support.

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What is ADHD?

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects behaviour and concentration.

Children and young people with ADHD often seem unusually restless, impulsive or distracted. They may speak or act without thinking, struggle with organisation, find it hard to focus or appear to be always on the go. Some people with ADHD do not experience hyperactivity; this used to be called attention deficit disorder (ADD), though the term in no longer used officially.

ADHD is not a mental illness or a learning disability, though children and young people with ADHD may also have other conditions or experience mental health problems.

Living with ADHD can be very challenging, for children and young people as well as for their parents and carers. But the right diagnosis, treatment and support can make a big difference to a child's learning, life skills and relationships, as well as making family life easier. There is also lots you can do as a parent/carer to help your child manage the things they find difficult.

What are the most common symptoms of ADHD?

A child with ADHD may be:

easily distracted, finding it difficult to start or finish tasks

often unable to concentrate

often restless or fidgety

very talkative, often interrupting or blurting things out

impulsive, acting before considering consequences, prone to taking risks

easily angry or frustrated, struggling to deal with emotions

finding making or maintaining friendships difficult

disorganised, for instance often losing things or being late

lacking awareness of time

Every child or young person with ADHD is individual and they may not display all of these behaviours. And many of these traits and behaviours are typical in younger children, or can follow a traumatic experience - they don't necessarily mean your child has ADHD.

Age and gender can also affect how someone with ADHD behaves. This can make it harder to spot signs of ADHD, particularly in girls, who are more likely to be undiagnosed or wrongly diagnosed with other conditions.

Typically the symptoms of ADHD develop in early childhood and they may become particularly noticeable at times of significant change, such as starting or changing school.

What to do if you think your child might have ADHD

If your child frequently experiences some of these symptoms and it's affecting their day-to-day life, discuss your concerns with your child's GP. Before doing this, talk to your child's teacher and the school special educational needs co-ordinator (SENCO) about what they have noticed.

The GP may want to refer your child for assessment, as ADHD can only be diagnosed by a specialist such as a child and adolescent psychiatrist or paediatrician.

Sometimes parents are reluctant to pursue assessment. They may be worried about 'labelling' their child or about stigma, or they may prefer to watch and wait. These feelings are normal. But parents and young people who do seek diagnosis can find it helps them access the right support; understand and manage challenges; and identify individual strengths.

We have more information about getting support from the GP, CAMHS or school in our guide.

ADHD diagnosis, support and treatment

ADHD assessment is usually done through the specialist Children and Young People's Mental Health Services, commonly referred to as CAMHS.

Diagnosis is most commonly made in childhood, and in the majority of cases, symptoms affecting daily life continue into adulthood.

There is no single, definitive test for ADHD. Specialists will base clinical diagnosis on a combination of observations of your child; discussions and questionnaires (with you and your child); and information from your child's school.

They will consider how long the symptoms have been present; their impact on your child's daily life; and whether they might be due to another condition. The NHS states that approximately 60-80% of children with ADHD have at least one other condition (such as autism, dyslexia, dyspraxia, anxiety or behaviour problems), and your child may be given more than one diagnosis.

Support and treatment options

You and your child should be offered support and advice to help manage ADHD in their day-to-day life.

ADHD can also be treated with medication and/or therapies. These should be discussed with you when your child is diagnosed, and are set out in the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) guidelines on ADHD.

ADHD can be treated with therapies such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT). For more information about therapy, see our parent guide to counselling and therapy.

There are a number of types of medication. These are not a cure for ADHD, and many children do not take them, but they can help manage some of the symptoms. Medication must be prescribed and overseen by a specialist.

You may also be offered ADHD -focussed parent training. This does not mean your parenting is somehow wrong. It is designed to provide support and specific strategies and skills to help you and your child thrive.

Jack is still perennially late, disorganised and impulsive; but he's also energetic, original and creative. The medication is helping him make the most of all of that.

What you can do to support your child with ADHD

Be explicit and consistent about unacceptable behaviour, such as violence. Set appropriate consequences and follow them through, but try to stay calm in the moment to avoid escalation. Dealing with challenging behaviour can be very hard, and our parent guide has helpful advice.

Plan the day so your child knows what to expect. Maintaining regular sleep patterns, physical activity and mealtimes can help your child. Some people find dietary change and/or certain supplements helpful. But the NHS states that there is no clinical evidence for this, and medical advice should be sought first. Our young person's guide has helpful advice on sleep problems.

The impact of ADHD on your child's mental health

Any child or young person can struggle with their mental health and wellbeing, whether or not they have ADHD. This might be caused by things like family change, bullying, exam stress or a traumatic event.

But having ADHD may also mean your child has extra challenges - such as social difficulties, struggling to manage their emotions or getting into trouble at school - that leave them more vulnerable to low self-esteem, anxiety or depression.

Children and young people with ADHD frequently have other developmental or mental health conditions and it is important to ensure they have the appropriate support for these.

As a parent there is a lot you can do to support your child with their wellbeing and mental health:

encourage your child to talk about how they are feeling with you. Our starting a conversation guide has ideas for keeping communication open

if you feel your child may have a mental health problem or another condition alongside ADHD, discuss your concerns with their GP or ADHD specialist.

Working with school if your child has ADHD

ADHD is a special education need (SEN), and it may be referred to as a specific learning difference (SpLD). Your child is entitled to appropriate support to help them thrive socially and educationally. This could include potential adjustments in certain situations, such as extra time or rest breaks for exams, movement breaks in lessons, written instructions for tasks and a seating plan that minimises distractions.

Discuss the diagnosis and needs with the school's SENCO, taking a list of your concerns and background information to the meeting.

Your child may be entitled to an education, health and care plan (EHC plan) which details the support they need and how it will be provided. (The National Autistic Society has helpful information about EHC plans.)

Good communication between you and school can be really helpful in ensuring your child thrives in education and meets their potential. Our parent guide to support has more advice on talking to school or college.

ADHD in teenagers and beyond

If your child is a teenager or young person, their needs and the support you give may well be different from when they were younger. They may like to read our young person's guide to ADHD and mental health. But there are still many ways you can help.

Looking after your own wellbeing

Parenting a child with ADHD can sometimes be isolating, upsetting or exhausting. Sometimes parents feel judged or blamed by others (unjustifiably as parenting does not cause ADHD). It is entirely understandable if you are finding things difficult.

It's important to recognise the impact the situation is having on you, and think about ways you can take care of yourself - including getting support from other people so that you can take some time off. It's okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust. We have advice on looking after yourself as well as your child.

Our son's challenging behaviour with ADHD had an enormous impact on the whole family, as we and his brothers bore the brunt of his anger.

Where to get further support

If you would to speak to a professional adviser or find out more about how you can support your child, these organisations can help.
While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

This page was reviewed in March 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with ADHD. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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ADHD Support For Your Child | Parents Advice Guide

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If your child is struggling to manage their ADHD, read our tips on what you can do to support them, how to get a diagnosis and where to find help.

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Primary Behaviour Service - information about managing anxiety

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How to recognise and support obsessions and compulsions including useful links and books.

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Primary Behaviour Service - guide to sleep

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Primary Behaviour Service - guide to sleep

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Primary Behaviour Service - Parenting support for a range of difficulties

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Primary Behaviour Service - Parenting support for a range of difficulties

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Support for families: relationships; health and emotional well-being; parenting support; debt and hardship; housing; community support.

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Family Information and Services Hub

Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have.

If you are seriously concerned about a child you should contact this number without delay: Childrens Services 0300 555 1384 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 5pm) - out of hours 0300 555 1373. If it's an emergency and a child is in immediate danger, call 999

To help you access support, talk to someone from any of the support services who is already in contact with your family. This might be a health visitor, teacher or a community worker. They will discuss your concerns and help you access the right support.

Our staff will be able to advise you on the most appropriate support dependent on the needs of your family.

Coronavirus Support
See Downloads on right of this page for Domestic Abuse support during Covid-19 pandemic
ORCHA assesses health apps for the NHS and they have launched a Covid-19 resource page where you can search for the best health and wellbeing apps available.

The Government has released helpful guidance on supporting children and young people's mental health and wellbeing during the coronavirus outbreak . This provides detailed information about how different ages may react to the current situation and different support available.

Last Updated: 18 August 2023

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Family Information and Services Hub | Family Support

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Here you will find a range of useful web links, downloadable resources, and online videos on various issues and topics that may be able to provide you with the support that you need, or answer questions that you may have. If you are seriously concerned...

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Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS)

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Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service (CAMHS)

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Support for common problems and life issues

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Hampshire Child and Adolescent Mental Health Service is an NHS specialist service, provided by Sussex Partnership NHS Foundation Trust for young people aged 5-18 years and their families who are experiencing difficulties with their mental and emotional health. Many young people experience difficulties with their mental health such as anxiety, low mood, trauma, eating difficulties plus many others which can impact on all aspects of life such as education, home life, hobbies and interests, socialising and having fun.

It is important to know that everyone has mental health and that we can all experience tough times and this can cause our mental health to suffer. CAMHS work with young people, their families and other important organisations (such as schools) to achieve the following:

* Assess and diagnose mental health and neurodevelopmental difficulties
* Identify realistic goals or changes
* Identify and build on strengths
* Improve self-esteem and confidence to cope with difficulties
* Learn emotional coping techniques to help manage difficult or upsetting thoughts, feelings, urges or experiences
* Empower the young person to identify, express and communicate their needs, take responsibility for their health and wellbeing and feel confident in knowing where and how to get additional support if necessary
Hampshire CAMHS Thresholds
We cannot "cure" mental health difficulties or prevent difficulties ever coming back. Lots of things can impact on our mental health, some of which are beyond anyone's control. Instead we work with you to help you learn how to manage your difficulties and in many cases overcoming them is absolutely possible. There may also be some difficulties or experiences which CAMHS are not able to provide support for. In these cases we will help you access appropriate help from other organisations and services such as drug and alcohol services and bereavement services plus many others.

You will need to be willing and committed to attending sessions that are offered as well as trying and practising techniques until you find what works well for you. You will need to be prepared to work with us in this way so that you have the best chance of achieving your goals/recovery.

Overcoming difficulties also depends on how much an individual would like to change. Often change can be scary and many young people feel they don't have the energy or the motivation to change or try different things. If you have made the step of asking for help and attending an assessment and are committed to making changes, we will work with you to help you achieve your goals/recovery.

Anyone can help you get an appointment at Hampshire Specialist CAMHS; you, your parents or carers, your teachers, a health professional (such as a school nurse or GP) or a social worker, using our online referral form which you can complete and submit online. You can also call Hampshire CAMHS on 0300 304 0050 (Monday - Friday, 9am-5pm).

If you are experiencing difficulties, it is really important to talk to those around you so that they can support you with these and with getting the right help and support.

We would recommend talking to CAMHS before making a referral so that we can offer advice and guidance and to decide whether CAMHS is the right service to meet your needs. CAMHS may also be able to offer recommendations about other services, organisations and things that may be helpful.

If after receiving a referral it is agreed that it would be helpful for CAMHS to offer an appointment, you will be given a date as soon as possible. Please be aware that there may be a wait for an appointment. If you feel that things are becoming more difficult or more urgent whilst you are waiting for appointment, please contact the Single Point of Access for CAMHS on 0300 304 0050 to let us know.

* At your first appointment we'll start with introductions and outline what will happen during the appointment. Your first appointment may be by telephone or face to face
* We'll ask you to fill in some questionnaires. These help us to understand your strengths and any difficulties you might be experiencing
* Your clinician will also talk to you about confidentiality and consent to share information
* The aim of your first appointment is to find out what your goals are and what you would like to be different
* By the end of the appointment we will decide together the best way forward in order to help you reach your goals/recovery
* If you have any questions, worries or concerns please speak to your clinician - we're all here to listen and to help, your initial appointment is a chance to discuss what is currently going on for you.

We have a leaflet entitled 'About your CAMHS appointment' which you can download here.

This leaflet clearly explains what to do if you have difficulties getting to appointments, it may address other questions you may have and also explains our appointment policy.

We understand that there are lots of reasons why you might not want information shared with your young person's school. We will want to understand those reasons so that we can make sure you still receive the help and support you might need.

There are some situations when we will need to share information with others. If your young person or someone they know are being harmed or are at risk of harm, we have a duty to protect anyone from harm so we will find a way together to share information in an appropriate way. We will include you in all discussions as much as possible when sharing information is involved.

If you are worried about information being shared please speak to your clinician about this so you can agree a way forward together.

* Following your first appointment, if it is agreed that CAMHS can help you a number of things may happen
* You may be offered a group to attend. We know that for some that groups with other people experiencing similar difficulties are the best support. These will be run by our experienced clinicians
* You may be offered a further period of assessment and intervention by one of our clinicians. They will contact you to arrange this.

This will depend on many factors including the type of difficulties you are experiencing and your goals. There will be regular reviews of how things are progressing and discussions with you and your family about the care we provide. At CAMHS we aim to empower young people to learn and develop skills to help themselves cope and work towards their goals.

Sessions usually last between 50 minutes and one hour. Some sessions are longer depending on the therapy approach being used. You can use as much or as little of your session time as you want.

No, not everyone that comes to CAMHS is prescribed medication. Medication can be helpful for some young people depending on what difficulties they are experiencing. If you have any questions or worries about medication, you can ask your clinician.

You might also find useful information and guidance about psychiatric medication on this website: www.headmeds.org.uk

If there is an emergency and you or someone else is at risk of serious harm, call 999 immediately and tell anyone else who may be near you so they can help.

If your young person is in crisis and you do not know what to do, click here.

If it is not an emergency, encourage your young person to find someone to talk to; a parent/ carer or family member, friend or partner, or call the helpline. If you already see someone at CAMHS, you can call after the weekend or the next day to speak with them or someone else in the team.

We know that when people finish their work with us and are discharged (closed) from our service, people can worry that they might not cope. It is important that if you are working with CAMHS that you complete a relapse prevention plan before you finish. It is important to keep this and follow the plan if you are struggling.

You can use the self-help pages of this website to remind yourself of the top tips to help you cope and access extra self-help information and advice. The most important thing to do is to let a parent/carer, teacher or trusted adult know that you are struggling so that they can support you.

Young people can sometimes be re-referred to CAMHS if this is agreed this would be the most helpful thing to do.

Yes!
* Specialist Eating Disorder Team
This team covers the whole of Hampshire and works with young people who have eating disorders and difficulties and their families. Our aim is to see young people as quickly as possible and provide specialist treatment. The team also provides information and guidance for anyone who might be concerned about an eating difficulty. The Specialist Eating Disorder Team can be contacted Monday-Friday 9-5pm on 0300 304 0062.
* i2i (Urgent Assessment and Home Treatment Team)
Our i2i team provide specialist intensive assessment and treatment to young people who are experiencing crisis or who require extra care to try to prevent crises from happening. This service can only be accessed by young people already coming to CAMHS and who have been referred by their CAMHS worker. The team provide urgent assessments and help develop care plans with you, your family, the CAMHS team, school and other agencies (where needed) that aim to keep young people as safe as possible.
* Learning Disability Care
Hampshire CAMHS also offer their services to children and young people with a learning disability, making sure that young people with a learning disability who also have a mental health difficulty can get the help and support they need. Every team in Hampshire CAMHS has a specialist learning disability CAMHS worker who can offer a range of approaches depending on each person's needs. One of the main approaches used is Positive Behaviour Support. This is an approach to support children and young people when they have behaviours that can be challenging.

We work together to find out why a behaviour may occur, including triggers and outcomes. This helps us to think of strategies to help a young person manage their feelings and helps parents or carers to respond in helpful ways.

Further information can be found at: www.challengingbehaviour.org.uk
* Youth Offending Team and Forensic CAMHS
The Youth Offending Team (YOT) is a service provided by Children's Services for young people who are involved in the Criminal Justice System. CAMHS provides specialist assessments and ways to help young people who have been involved in crime and are working with YOT. These CAMHS clinicians work within the YOT teams and alongside the YOT workers.

Forensic CAMHS is a specialist service for young people who experience a mental health difficulty and who may pose a risk to themselves or others. CAMHS workers in this team provide training, and advice and consultation to other professionals as well as specialist assessments and work with the young person and their family. The Clinicians in this team work closely with children's services, schools, the Police and other relevant organisations to ensure the health, wellbeing and safety of the young person and those around them

What do certain words mean? Read our Glossary.

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School anxiety and refusal

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It's normal for children and young people to feel worried about something that's happening at school - for example, when starting a new school or during exams. Sometimes, however, school can become challenging, stressful or distressing over a much longer period of time.

If your child is feeling anxious about school, or not able to go, it can be exhausting for both of you. Mornings in particular can become really stressful for the whole family, as you try to juggle your child's feelings alongside the need to get them to school and get on with your other responsibilities such as work. Even if you manage to get your child to the school gate, you might know how difficult they're going to find the day - or know that you'll be facing the same problem tomorrow morning.

If you're in this situation, we've got advice to help you explore what's going on with your child, make changes at school that can help, and find the support you need if your child can't go to school.

Young people can feel anxious about school for lots of different reasons. They might be worried about making friends or fitting in, find schoolwork or lessons confusing, feel pressured to learn in a certain way or find their relationships with teachers difficult.

Sometimes, going through difficult experiences outside of school - such as bereavement, an illness in the family or being a young carer - can also make it harder for a child to feel settled at school.

For some young people, the school environment isn't right for them, and trying to fit into it can create a huge amount of stress. This might be the case if they are struggling with their mental health, or have a neurodiverse condition or Special Educational Need (SEN) such as autism, ADHD, dyslexia or dyspraxia. This can make the school environment anxiety-provoking and exhausting, especially if their condition or need is undiagnosed or not being well supported.

Young people might show they're feeling anxious about school by:

not wanting to get up and get ready

saying they can't go

worrying a lot about small issues, such as having the right equipment for a lesson

feeling sick, or having stomach aches or headaches

not sleeping well

not doing schoolwork, or their grades dropping

being angry or upset, or acting out - at school or at home

withdrawing - seeming low, quiet or depressed

It's often difficult for your child to articulate the problem. They may be in a heightened state of stress and not know why or feel able to explain. Your child probably wants to feel able to be in school, just as much as you want them to be there. In many cases it just doesn't feel possible.

Sometimes it can be difficult to work out what's making your child feel anxious, and the first step is often helping them to identify exactly what's worrying them. Once you understand the problem, you'll be in a much better position to make changes that can help.

Young people can find it hard to explain what's causing their feelings, and might not be able to answer direct questions like 'what's going on?' Using an anxiety iceberg can help to open up the conversation - giving you a more relaxed way of exploring together what's causing their anxiety.

Watch our video to find out how to make an anxiety iceberg with your child.

If you're making an anxiety iceberg with younger children, you might want to draw images on the iceberg, or encourage them to write simple words. With older children and teenagers, you can ask them to write key words and phrases on the iceberg, or do this as a mind map, with 'school' in the middle and all the things they're finding difficult around the outside.

Through this exercise, you might identify worries such as arriving at school, finding the environment noisy or overwhelming, finding lessons confusing, feeling lonely through the day, or feeling uncomfortable during specific subjects.

Once you understand what's going on for your child, you can use their anxiety iceberg or mind map to communicate with the school and ask for specific changes.

Follow these steps to start a conversation with the school:

Here are some examples of things you can ask the school for:

Remember that even though this situation can be really tough for you and your child, it's a good idea to maintain a positive relationship with the school. Recognise the support they're offering and any changes they're making. This will help you work together to make things better for your child.

Building a relationship with the attendance team at my son's school was hugely helpful, we were talking with them each day.

If your child isn't going to school at the moment, it might feel incredibly stressful and tiring. You might be worried about when they will be able to get back to school or the impact on their education. Or you might feel overwhelmed because you're juggling this alongside work and other family commitments. Things are probably feeling tough for your child too.

During this time, it's important to keep working with teachers and other staff to try strategies that can help your child get back to school. Keep encouraging them to take achievable steps towards attending too. When the right support is in place, it's often easier for a young person to get back into their usual routine if they can return to school as quickly as possible.

If your child's anxiety about school has built up to the point where they can't go, it's a good idea to get them some professional mental health or SEN support. Find out how to do this further down the page.

Alongside requesting professional help, try to:

The school's SEN and attendance policies should be on their website. Knowing what these are can support you during meetings with the school.

This can help if your child is unable to go to school for a longer period of time and you need to ask for more support, including provision of alternative full-time education.

Encourage your child to get up, do some studying and stop for lunch at the same times they would if they were in school. This will make adapting back to school easier. Explain to your child that if they cannot go to school, they will need to study at home - at least until alternative arrangements are put in place. Ask the school to help you facilitate tasks and activities your child can do and use online resources such as BBC Bitesize.

Not going to school could leave your child feeling really isolated. Make sure they stay connected to the outside world by seeing friends and family, doing activities they enjoy and getting outside for walks and exercise.

Speaking to friends online can be really important if your child is feeling isolated at home. Sometimes, however, you might notice that your child is spending lots of time gaming or on their phone, and that this is getting in the way of important daily activities like spending quality time with family, learning, or sleeping and eating well. If this is becoming a problem, have a look at our guide to gaming or guide to social media for more information and advice.

Local authorities must provide alternative education if a child of compulsory school age is unable to attend school over a longer period of time. If your child cannot attend school because of a mental or physical health issue, the local authority should provide an alternative as soon as it is clear that they will be away from school for more than 15 days (either consecutively or over time). Find out how to request alternative education.

Getting back to school after weeks or months may feel extremely difficult for your child, but you and the school can help make it more manageable. Here are some things you can do to help:

Set small, achievable targets, such as visiting the building outside school hours or attending one lesson.

Request a home visit from a school staff member so your child can check in while feeling safe, see that the school cares and discuss any strategies that might help them.

Ask for a reduced timetable, with regular reviews to discuss building back up at a manageable rate.

Discuss changing classes or sets if your child thinks this would help.

Focus on qualifications needed for what your child wants to do next, perhaps dropping a less relevant GCSE to reduce stress.

My son wasn't questioned about his absence when he did feel able to pop in for favourite lessons, helping to ease him back into full days of education.

If your child is struggling with anxiety and it's affecting their day-to-day life, learning or relationships, it's a good idea to find some professional support. Speaking to the GP and finding them a counsellor or therapist are two good places to start. You can find more information about GPs, counsellors and other mental health services in our guide to getting support from mental health services.

If there is no other obvious reason for your child's inability to attend school, they may have an undiagnosed Special Educational Need (SEN) such as dyslexia, autism or ADHD.

If you think this is the case:

Speak to the school's SENCO or your GP to ask for a referral for an assessment.

While you are waiting for an assessment, you can also ask the SENCO to refer your child for support from other professionals, such as an Educational Psychologist or Speech and Language Therapist. These professionals can identify specific needs and make recommendations for additional support the school can put in place - even if your child hasn't had a formal diagnosis yet.

SEN support at school
If your child is diagnosed with SEN, extra support and adjustments should be put in place at school to help them attend and learn. This is called SEN support, and should be available within the school's existing resources. Speak to the school's SENCO in the first instance about how the school will support your child.
Education, Health and Care (EHC) plans
If you do not think your child's needs can be met by the school's existing resources, you can ask the local authority to carry out an Education, Health and Care needs assessment (EHC needs assessment). If the local authority decides your child needs additional support, they will then make an Education, Health and Care plan (EHC plan). This outlines how the extra support they need will be provided. Find out more about EHC plans.
Your Local Offer
Your Local Offer is the information, support and services available for young people with SEN, and for their parents and families. You can find out what support is available in your area by going to your local authority's website and searching for their Local Offer.

While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.

We have more tips and advice on supporting your child with school, and information about how you can get in touch with our Parents Helpline.
This page was reviewed in December 2022. It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person with school anxiety. We will next review the page in 2025. YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK - the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn't a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

At YoungMinds we take your privacy seriously. If you'd like to read more about how we keep the information we collect safe, take a look at our privacy policy.

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School Anxiety and Refusal | Parent Guide to Support

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If your child is anxious about school, or refusing to go to school at all, read our tips and advice on how you can support their mental health.

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Place2Be - getting ready to start primary school

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Place2Be - getting ready to start primary school

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Supporting the change to primary school

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Transitioning to primary school is a big change for children and their families.

Our expert advice will help you get ready together.

Coping with change to primary school as a family

Don't avoid it - draw pictures and tell stories about what might happen to make it fun and more familiar.

Talk about feelings - describe what happens when you have different feelings, including worry. Do you have butterflies in your tummy? Are you tense? Explain that nerves can help us focus and get ready.

Look back - chat about how you've coped with changes in the past, like moving house or having a baby. You can do it again!

Practice how to stay calm - this could include taking slow, deep breaths together.

Find out how else you can support your child
Preparing your child

Let them make mistakes - praise them for trying and help them learn by not always fixing things immediately.

Encourage them to be curious - ask questions about the world around you, and they will do the same.

Help them get on with others - introduce them to people, play games and take turns. 'Act out' situations with toys, e.g., "How can Teddy ask to play with the dolls?",

Practice sitting still and paying attention - look at books, crafts or puzzles without distractions.

Encourage lots of words - instead of: "Did you like it?", ask: "What did you like about it?", so they have to use different words.

Get moving - running, jumping, climbing, catching, painting and sorting small objects will improve their control over their bodies.

Preparing yourself

Your child starting primary school is a big change for you, too, so remember to look after yourself.

Being apart from your child might be new. Plan what you'll do during those first few days and chat with other families who are going through the same thing.

Make time for yourself. Self-care can be as simple as having a cup of tea, going for a walk or getting enough sleep.

Remember, you are your child's first and most important teacher, and they will continue to rely on you throughout their time at school. When you look after yourself, you're more able to support them.

Are you struggling? Find out where you can get help

Useful resources

Starting primary school from BBC Bitesize has lots of useful information, advice and resources to help your child get ready for primary school.

News & blogs

"My child doesn't want to go to school" - supporting families with school attendance

Dr Sarah Sivers reflects on her own experiences and work supporting families with a child that does not want to go to school.

Read more

4 ways to support students with ADHD

Educational Psychologist, Julia Clements, talks about how schools can support students with ADHD in this demanding climate.

Read more

10 tips to help your wellbeing this summer

Secondary students and researchers from the University of Cambridge share tips to improve your mental health over summer.

Read more

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Starting primary school can be both exciting and a little scary. However, there are many ways in which we can help both our children prepare for primary school.

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Place2Be - supporting the transition to secondary school

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Place2Be - supporting the transition to secondary school

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Helping your child prepare for secondary school.

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Place2Be: Parenting Smart: Helping your child prepare for Secondary or High School

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How to prepare your child for secondary or high school. Follow Parenting Smart’s tips on how to make sure you and your child are ready emotionally.

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A Child Therapist's favourite resources for calming anxiety in children

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This page contains affiliate links, read the disclosure statement Inside: Kid tested strategies used by child therapists for calming anxiety, including ideas to calm down, books to read and videos that can help
It's happening again. Your daughter is frustrated and stomping away down to her room, slamming the door and in general "has her cranky pants on". You say calm down, but she yells back "I don't know how to do that!!!"

We tend to tell our kids to "calm down" without ever giving them explicit directions on how to deal with stress and anxiety. Here's a collection of the best tools and tips I've found to teach children how to calm down and relax.

Sometimes you'll need a quick way to help your child calm down and you don't have much with you. Maybe it's when you're out at Target or stuck in traffic. These tips will come in handy at those times:

Imagine your favorite place - it's like taking a mini vacation wherever you are

Think of your favorite things

Name animals alphabetically (alligator, bear, cow, dog, etc...)

Squeeze Something (play dough, clay, silly putty, your fists, a stress ball)

Get a Cold Drink of Water

54321 Grounding - go through each of your 5 senses

1. Put your arms straight out in front of you, palms facing out.

2. Put one hand over the other at the wrists and interlace your fingers.

3. Swoop your hands and arms toward your body and then place your interlaced hands on your chest.

4. Cross your feet at the ankles and put your tongue on the roof of your mouth.

5. Stay still for one minute.

It's great to have a big list of coping skills to try when your child needs to calm down. Here are two more short lists of ideas for calming down at home or at school.

From Imperfect Families - Strategies to use at home

From Encourage Play - 10 Strategies to Help Kids Calm Down at school or home

People usually roll their eyes initially when they hear "breathing is important". But I will continue to say it and explain why. It's so simple, yet has such a big impact on your body's physiology.

When you and calm and relaxed, your body is in "rest and digest" mode. You breathe normally, your heart rate is lower and your muscles are relaxed. However, when stress or anxiety or anger occurs, your body automatically switches into "flight, fight or freeze" mode. Your muscles tense up, your heart rate increases and your breathing becomes more shallow.

Taking deep breaths, instead of shallow breaths, is one way to tell your body to get back to resting and digesting. That's why deep breathing is important!

Luckily, there are some fun ways to teach kids deep breathing techniques

Things to use

Things to say

Breathe in like you are smelling a flower, breathe out like you are blowing out birthday candles

Arms up and breathe in, arms down and breathe out

Pretend your belly is a balloon. Breathe in and make the balloon bigger, then breathe out and make the balloon shrink.

Videos to watch
4 - 7 - 8 Breathing by GoZen
Breathing at Sea Otter Cove from Stress Free Kids

A Coping Skills Toolbox is a kit that you create to help your child calm down when they are upset, anxious or worried. In order to get the most benefit from this, you should create this kit before an issue occurs. When your child experiences anxiety, then they can pick out an item from their Coping Skills Toolbox. This is one of my favorite ways to help kids learn to calm their anxiety.

Here are some other fantastic ideas for what to put in a coping skills toolbox/calm down kit from And Next Comes L

You can create a place specially designed to allow to calm down in a few steps

Find a spot and make it cozy (ask your child for help with that - maybe they can place a favorite blanket or stuffed animal inside)

Add calming tools

Explain how to use it and practice before

When they are starting to escalate, catch it early and give them a calm reminder about their calm down spot

Use the following phrases as a way to support your child, let them know that you're going to support them and help them in any way that you can.

"I'm here for you"

"Talk to me and tell me what's going on"

"How can I help?"

"Together, we can work on this. We're a great team"

"I love you"

"Do you want a hug?"

Here are some more ideas of what to say to calm an anxious child.

From Go Zen - 49 Phrases to Calm an Anxious Child

From Lemon Lime Adventures - What to Say to Calm an Anxious Child

Did you know there are podcasts with stories for children? Usually the hosts have a soothing voice and the stories tend to be pretty short. Your child can listen to these podcasts as a way to have some down time.

There are scripts you can read to your child to help them relax and calm down. Slowly and carefully read the words as your child listens and follows the instructions. Check out Inner Health Studios list of scripts you can use with your child. If you prefer not to read a script, there are ones that are pre-recorded.

There are also scripts to practice mindfulness with children. Eline Snel has written a great book on Mindfulness with Kids, Sitting Still Like a Frog. Here are the several scripts that can be used from that book!

Annaka Harris also has several pre-recorded scripts to help kids practice mindfulness

Confused about how to introduce mindfulness to kids? Check out these resources:
Simple Ways to Introduce Mindfulness and Meditation to Children 11 Simple But Effective Ways to Teach Mindfulness to Kids
What you need:

I've used empty soda bottles, empty water bottles, glass jars and plastic containers. Use whatever makes sense for you and your family. For instance, for the calming jars the kids have in their room, I used a heavy duty plastic bottle. I didn't want them to accidentally knock over a glass jar in the dark - that would be a huge mess!

I've had the best results when I've used warm water - it makes it easier for the water and paint to combine.
Glitter Paint
I prefer using glitter paint (or glitter glue) instead of glitter because then I'm not cleaning up glitter for weeks at my house after we make them :-)

To make your jar, add glitter paint to the bottom of the jar until it just covers the bottom of it. Add warm water. Put the cover on and shake to help the ingredients combine. Once you are satisfied with the look of your jar, then you can super glue the lid shut so it doesn't spill. In a pinch, I've also used duct tape to secure the lid.
Watch Make a Simple Calming Jar from Coping Skills for Kids on YouTube Wet Ingredients
Sometimes you want the glitter/other items to stay afloat longer or for a shorter amount of time. Here are some different ingredients you can use as the wet ingredients.
Dry Ingredients
To see several other ways to make calming jars, take a look at what Preschool Inspirations did.

One of the first things I always like to do with kids if they are struggling is to start using visuals. When you're stressed and anxious, it's harder to read and take in information. Visuals are easier.

I like to keep calming cue cards in my children's coping skills toolboxes so that they can make a decision about what coping skill they can use. Sometimes pulling out a list is too much in the moment. You can make your own cue cards.

1. Take several index cards or small pieces of cardstock

2. On each one, write or draw one coping skill

3. Hole punch the cards and place them on a keyring (to make them extra sturdy, you can laminate them)

4. Put them into the coping skills toolbox for easy access

Using visuals is a powerful way to help kids. When kids are overwhelmed, sometimes it's hard for them to figure out what to do. By having cue cards, your child can have a visual reminder of what calms and relaxes them.

To make things a little easier, I've created ready to use coping skills cue cardsfor you. There are four different sets: Calming, Physical, Distracting, and Processing. If you'd like all 4, I created a set where you can download them all together.

If your child is anxious, they may also be having a difficult time getting settled for bedtime. Here are some ideas to help your child get settled at bedtime.

PINPOINT WHAT THE FEAR IS

One of the most important things to do is to figure out exactly what is causing the anxiety. Is it fear of the dark? Is it a worry about something in the closet? Is it monsters? Is it spiders? Figuring out the cause of the fear will help you come up with ways you can help your child combat it.

REARRANGE THE ROOM

Are there particular spots of the room that seem to be darker or cause more fear at night than others? Go into the bedroom during the day with your child and talk about the spots that make your child nervous. Try moving night lights and furniture around for a more calming room arrangement.

TRANSITIONAL OBJECTS

If your child has a hard time separating from you, try a transitional object. This is a special item that helps your child feel comforted. It helps them feel like part of you is still present even when you're not there. It could be something like a stuffed animal or a special stone or necklace, or a sweatshirt of yours. The object isn't what matters, it's what the object represents. They can keep it and hold it all night long to help them relax and go to sleep.

Find more strategies here: 12 Kid Friendly Strategies to Calm Anxiety at Night

Looking for some calming guided meditation to help get to sleep at night? Try one of these: Best Guided Meditations for Sleep.

Whenever I sit down and talk with someone about their coping skills, one of the first
things I ask is if they have tried writing about it. Why do I always start with journaling as
a way of processing through difficult feelings?

It's easier to write about than talk about hard things

Journaling helps you process what's happening.

It's convenient.

It's not graded

It can help you solve a problem

It can help you re-frame your thinking

Looking for a journal for a child or teen? Check out Big Life Journals!

General Anxiety

The Coping Skills for Kids Workbook by Janine Halloran. This book has over 75 strategies for kids to try to help them manage their stress and worry. This book also includes colorful worksheets to help kids learn more about their anxiety and what they can do to manage their stress.

Wilma Jean the Worry Machine by Julia Cook I love that when Wilma Jean's physical reactions are described, they're also illustrated. When is says she has knots in her stomach and her knees lock, her stomach really looks like it's tied in a knot and there's a real lock around her knees. I love the activity she does with her teacher, going over worries she can control and worries she can't, it's a great way to help kids manage their anxiety.

David and the Worry Beast by Anne Marie Guanci David's anxiety is a beast, and the more anxious he gets, the bigger it grows. David learns to control his thoughts, and his beast shrinks. There's also a couple of pages for parents and kids in the back.

When My Worries Get Too Big by Kari Dunn Buron This book is wonderful! There are several pages where kids can add in their own thoughts, worries and what helps them relax. This book also uses the 5 point scale to talk about stress and different ways to manage it.

What To Do When You Worry Too Much by Dawn Huebner, PhD This book goes through several ways that can help kids manage anxiety, including setting a time for worries, thinking about things that make you happy and resetting your body with activity or relaxation. There are some interactive places in this book, where a child can write down their worries, draw some images of things that might help, etc.

What To Do When You're Scared and Worried by James J. Crist This is one of my favorite books for kids to help them deal with anxiety. Near the beginning of the book is a checklist that helps kids narrow down what they are anxious about. The beginning of the book covers the basics of what anxiety is and how to help manage with coping skills. The next section of the book goes into detail about different types of anxiety kids might experience, including Separation Anxiety, Phobias and Panic Attacks.

Separation Anxiety

The Kissing Hand by Audrey Penn Classic about managing separation anxiety when kids start school. My daughter's kindergarten teacher read this on our visit to school the first day.

When I miss you by Cornelia Maude Spelman This is perfect for little ones who have a hard time dealing with the fact that they are away from their parents during the day. It suggests a couple of things they can do to help and reassurance that parents will come back at the end of the day.

Wemberley Worried by Kevin Henkes Poor Wemberley worries about everything, and then she gets really worried when she is about to start school.

This E-Course offers you instant support from a Child Therapist.
You will get:
12 Videos that are quick and bite size

14 Exercises that will expand on the skills taught

6 Cheat Sheets that will serve as a reference
Along with the course you get:
Access to the instructor for ongoing support

Downloadable PDF versions of all lessons

Lifetime access to the course

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An animated adaptation The Hand Model of the Brain presented by Emotion Coaching UK.

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An app on the Apple App Store - a portable stress management tool which provides detailed information on the effects of stress on the body and instructions and practice exercises to help users learn the stress management skill called diaphragmatic breathing.

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This app is very simple but very effective. The 16 cycles are perfectly timed to achieve maximum relaxation. After doing this app for several days I can calm my breathing myself just by visualising the app. It looks like a very simple app which doesn't do much but it did everything I needed and doesn't require expensive add ons. Highly recommended.

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‎Breathe2Relax is a portable stress management tool which provides detailed information on the effects of stress on the body and instructions and practice exercises to help users learn the stress management skill called diaphragmatic breathing.Breathing exercises have been documented to decrease the...

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Safer sleep advice gives simple steps for how you can sleep your baby to reduce the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS) which is commonly known as cot death.

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The safest cot is a clear cot

The safest cot for a baby is a clear cot. That means removing anything that isn't essential. Babies need just two items in their cot:

It's important to remove anything that isn't essential because items such as toys, blankets and bumpers could cover their face and obstruct their breathing.

When preparing your baby's sleep space, remember:

No pillows or duvets

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No pods or nests, rolled up towels or anything soft placed on top of the mattress.

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Safer sleep overview - The Lullaby Trust

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An easy guide to practicing safer sleep for your baby and reducing the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS, or cot death).

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Feeling relaxed is important in the run up to bedtime for both parent and child.  If your child is experiencing difficulties sleeping it can make you both feel anxious. The Sleep Charity has advice that may help.

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Feeling relaxed is important in the run up to bedtime for both parent and child. If your child is experiencing difficulties sleeping it can make you both feel anxious. Youngsters often pick up on stress levels so try to create a relaxing and calm environment as bedtime approaches.

Here is some advice that may help:

1. Turn off all screens an hour before bedtime, this includes television, laptops, tablets and mobile phones. Screen activities can be mentally stimulating and also may inhibit the production of melatonin, the sleep hormone that helps us to feel drowsy.

2. Set aside time earlier during the day to allow your child to share any worries with you. It can be helpful to share how their day has been and what is planned for the next day. Make sure to give them your full attention.

3. Dim the lights in the hour before bed to create a relaxing environment and aid the production of melatonin.

4. Fine motor skill activities such as craft activities, model making, jigsaws or colouring pictures can aid relaxation.

5. Massage can help some children to unwind.

6. Classical music can be very soothing and makes good relaxing music to play in the background during the bedtime routine.

7. Mindfulness is being increasingly used and there is evidence to suggest that it can be helpful to promote relaxation and sleep. There are a number of apps and products on the market that may be useful.

8. Encourage your child to concentrate on their breathing. Imagine breathing in a beautiful white light and blowing out any worries or troubles each time they exhale. Breathing exercises are also useful for parents to carry out and are a great exercise to enjoy together.

9. Teach your child to progressively relax the muscles in their body. They can begin my tensing their feet to the count of 5 and then letting them relax. Next tense the calf muscles and relax, moving up to the thighs and so on until they have relaxed each part of their body. This is another good activity to try together.

10. End the day on a positive note by sharing 5 great things that have happened during the day.

If you are concerned about your child's anxiety levels discuss with your GP or a healthcare professional, some children may require specialist support.

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Youngsters often pick up on stress levels so try to create a relaxing and calm environment as bedtime approaches.

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Some advice if you have a child with additional needs and sleep issues.

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If you have a child with additional needs and sleep issues, bedtime can be tricky.

Whether they struggle to communicate how they're feeling, have increased anxiety, sensory issues or social cueing problems, sleeping well may be difficult. For example research estimates that between 40-80% of children and young adults with autism have sleep problems. If your child regularly has difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, it may be a sign of a sleep issue.

Lack of sleep can impact in the following ways:

Aggression

Depression

Hyperactivity

Increased behavioural problems

Irritability

Poor learning and cognitive performance

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Essential support for under 25s

The Mix is the UK's leading support service for young people. We are here to help you take on any challenge you're facing - from mental health to money, from homelessness to finding a job, from break-ups to drugs. Talk to us via our online community, on social, through our free, confidential helpline or our counselling service.

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The Mix - Essential support for under 25s

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The Mix: 0808 808 4994 - Free information and support for under 25s in the UK. Get advice about sex, relationships, drugs, mental health, money & jobs.

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A secure and anonymous confidential text service which allows patients to easily and anonymously get in touch with health care professionals for advice and support. In Hampshire, young people can text 07507 332160.

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