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“Makihalubilo ka naman sa iba, para ka laging others eh.”

Most of the time, mas gusto ko talaga mag-isa. Malaya sa pakiramdam kasi wala kang maririnig na kahit ano mula sa ibang tao, payapa at mas magkakaroon ng oras para sa sarili. Hirap ako makipag socialize sa ibang tao kasi parang ang awkward sa feeling, may mga panahon na hindi ako conversation starter. Minsan kaya ayaw ko makipag-usap sa iba kasi natatakot ako na masira yung tahimik kong mundo or feel ko naubusan lang ako ng energy tsaka wala rin naman ako interesting na bagay na maaring ibahagi. Ito yung bagay na gusto ko iimprove, yung matututo akong makihalubilo sa ibang tao, yung hindi ako mahihiya o kakabahan sa pakikipag usap. Yung hindi ako matatakot magshare ng saloobin ko o mga bagay tungkol sa akin. Recently, sumasama na ako pag may mga okasyon para mas makilala ko pa ang ibang mga kamag anak. Small steps ika nga.

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For some reasons, most of the time I prefer to be at home than to be with other people. The things I keep on hearing with others is that I am so difficult to communicate with and it is so hard for me to open up with them.  Sometimes, I can feel that I am physically with people but not mentally. But I am now trying and finding ways to open up because I know, time will come that I will be needing to communicate and build relationship with people.

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Time management cause I'm always late, i know na its time na para baguhin na that I need to prioritize  the most important tasks to complete. This may also include when to complete a task, how long a task may take to complete, how I should complete the task, how the task affects others and what could happen if a task is not complete.

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I am too lazy at home, which is true because of my poor management of time. I know that I am busy with my studies but I also have responsibilities at home and I feel bad because even though I want to help my mom I can't because there's a lot of things to do and to study. Therefore, when I have free time I usually clean the house and do the general cleaning.

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I've been told that I have a habit of talking negatively about myself.

Lately, I've realized that this is real and I never once told myself that I am worthy. I think I should begin to believe that I am also capable of doing things. I'll try to quit thinking that I'm useless and quit that "self-bullying" habit. I'll make an effort to be kind to myself.

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Constructive criticism:
"You must know your worth"
Minsan mas nakikita kong okay yung isang bagay pag iba yung gumawa or nagawa. Someone noticed that I think like that and told me that "you just need to trust your work /Ideas. And I realized na tama naman kaya ako I'm working on it to improve and be open sa sarili ko.

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"You are only thinking of yourself. You will be alone forever. "

I know I wasn’t selfish, but my fault is that I failed to express how I felt, which they misinterpreted. That’s why I'm currently slowly trying my best to go out and spend my time with my cousins and friends to improve my way of expressing how I feel. If I have a lot of negative thoughts about my social interaction with other people, I replace them with more realistic thoughts like: I will get to know more about them; they will get to know what and how I am as a person. I realize that it’s not always good to spend too much time on yourself, so you fail to socialize. Being alone isn’t always a good thing.

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From self-destruct to self-care

As a child I grew up in a household wherein I am taught to always do well and be the best in everything. to give my all. Having a successful and perfect image of my sister I aspire to be like her. As I grow old, this path towards always being the best makes me tired that I lose my interest and drive in everything. That I am becoming this person who is slowly destroying her own dreams and aspirations because of seeking too much success in this life. But I think, like many things we’re taught when we’re young, this lesson doesn’t always translate to adulthood. That it is also an act of self care to not beat yourself up for that success if it costs your health and rest. It is okay to not be the best in everything. Because at the end of the day, what matters is the success that will make you sleep with a warm heart and get you excited to wake up in the morning looking forward to what you will do. I’ve learned in a hard way that I will never be my sister because I have my own life completely different from hers. Don’t get me wrong I still love her she still inspires me just this time I’m walking on my own path. And how I will live this life in the present is a gift for my future self. I hope she is happy, I know she will be.

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I think one of the constructive criticisms I heard from people around me that I wanted to improve is that I'm being too attached to things that are happening around me, that I am voicing out too much (somehow to the point that I think too much emotions are being invested and sometimes offend other people). I felt the need to work this thing out because it is giving me so much stress (affecting my mental state). But I cannot actually close my eyes about the things that are happening around me just because it doesn't concern me (but I think it does concern me indirectly) but what I am trying to do is being objective in expressing my thoughts, I am trying not to give thoughts driven by my emotions alone. In giving out opinions about things, I better be careful with the choice of words. One last thing, with the issues happening around, I think I should now weigh on what issue I should be giving my thoughts because maybe at some point, I'm just being nosy for no reason.

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"Kapayat mo, magpataba ka ng konti, mas bagay sayo"

These are the words I've been hearing before not even a word from my family but from others who know nothing about me. I thought conforming to their standards by gaining weight was the sole idea of constructive criticism. I tried gaining weight unhealthily by consuming more than I usually consume. At first, the compliments satisfies me. Time flies and I'm back to my original figure but I'm again hearing those words. However, this time I realize that there is a vast idea of constructive criticism. For others, it may be compelling others and considering what others may say but for me, I have to embrace what I have. I have to accept what I am and live with it instead of stressimg myself just to fit with their standards.

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Not appreciating the things I’ve / we’ve done for you.

Lately, I’ve been working to be more appreciative to those people who are there for me. I become more open about how grateful I am for their existing and for always understanding my situation. Now, even the little things they’ve done is important to me and I always saying thank you for everything.

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The constructive criticism:
"I should manage my time properly".

I admit that I often missed to prioritize things resulting to cramming and missing task and responsibilities especially when I'm unmotivated to do things and live life. Times when my mind is to crowded for me to start something productive.

I'm in the process of improving that habit for I know it's for my good and I'm thankful for those people who truly cares for me especially on how will I become in the near future. I want those precious people to be with me when the dreams that was once far away is now near me and at my hand.

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That I overthink a lot. Being a graduating student means you have a lot of responsibilities, which caused me to overthink and sometimes question my own capabilities. Knowing this, I am pushing myself to believe on my own, since I am aware that this trait leads to a different path, making it more difficult to reach my primary goal.

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Replace your negative thoughts with something pleasant. Find something to be happy about instead of being down about something and utilize that positive thinking to replace your negative thoughts. With practice, your mind will begin to focus on the positive rather than the negative.

Negative thoughts can drag a person down both physically and mentally if they are consistently present in their daily lives. Before these negative ideas destroy your day and take a toll on your personal life, it's critical to transform them into positive ones. Many people do not consider pushing thoughts away from our thought patterns, yet we do have influence over the thoughts we let affect us.

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One of the things people tell about me is that I am afraid of leaving my comfort zone. I'm trying to slowly build my character out of my comfort zone and trying new things. I have also realize that life isn't just about what the things revolves around you but there are brighter things to explore. I also want to build confidence and learn to take courage in everything I do.

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Someone once told me that I always make fun of things and don't know when to make jokes and when to be serious, which I admit. It has been difficult for me to react to situations where I have to express myself honestly. But after hearing those words, I realized that I should learn how to genuinely handle such situations and start being more sincere to others and myself. Though I am still in the process of changing that part of me, I am grateful that I had that kind of realization, which I hope will help me develop and build stronger relationships with other people.

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GALICIA,LOVELY JOY F
Constructive criticism- Overthinker & lack of Confidence

I'm trying to focus on the things that I can manage rather than overthinking. I am constantly concerned about my future since I lack confidence and trust in myself. I've always believed that I'm not pretty good at everything I do. But, of course, I'm aware that my current actions will have an impact on my future; it's just that I can't always control my thoughts and tend to overthink things. Also,this hustle culture creates a lot of pressure, which leads me sometimes having an existential crises.

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The constructive criticism that I am working on is "You should leave your comfort zone"

I realized that this is very true. I should sometimes leave my comfort zone for me to be able to adapt more to change, grow and develop my inner strength. Life has so much to offer but grabbing hold of them can be difficult. Sometimes it takes courage to step out from it, but I realized that the challenges I would face if I leave my comfort zone would make me a better person, build my confidence and learn that life has so much offer and all we need to do is trust ourselves and the people who believe in our capabilities.

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One criticism that I'm used to hearing is that I'm too lazy when it comes to school works and household chores. I plan and actually I began impoving my laziness because I want to be more responsible and reliable, especially now that I'm graduating and will be working in some time.

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Changing my mindset and appreciating myself more.
Most of the people, they are afraid of telling me what's wrong with me, but hearing those negative things from some just makes me appreciate them more. So, I am doing my best to improve on how I will give credits to myself and see my worth as a person. Hearing those words makes me realize that for me to be able to improve and grow as a person, I need to start from myself.

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Trust myself, wag daw po masyadong praning at wag masyadong mabait. Ako po kasi yung tao na mas malaki tiwala sa iba kesa sarili ko. Tapos  medyo praning po in a way na pinagungunahan ko po yung result ng ginawa ko, kasi ayoko po umasa masyado kasi feeling ko po mas masasaktan po ako kapag nagexpect po ako. Overthinker din po ako in a way na iniisip ko po agad yung mararamdaman ng isang tao, kaya minsan nasosobrahan daw po ako sa pagiging mabait. Pero para sa akin po okay lang maging sobrang bait, and one of my closest friend told me naman po na "woy leds remember di masama maging sobrang mabait, hindi mo kailangang bawasan ang pagiging mabait mo ng dahil lang inaabuso ka nila. Sila ang may mali hindi ikaw so sila ang magbabago hindi ikaw" so I always choose to be kind! :)

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Ang contructive criticism ang pinaplano kong pagbutihin kamakailan siguro yong aking pagiging negatibong pag iisip kung saan inuunahan ko agad ng di maayos na mangyayari tulad nalang sa ilang bagay sa pag communicate sa group sapagkat natatakot ako na mali ang masabi o natatakot din ako mapagtawanan o mapahiya. Iyan bagay na yan ang nais kung pagbutihan at mabago sapagkat alam ko na malaking maiitulong nito kung akoy magiging confident sa sarili ko at dahil dito magiging maayos na ako makakapag communicate lalot kung handa na ako sa kung ano ba kalalabasan ng aking nasabi at hindi na takot mapahiya sa kung ano mangyayari dahil sa opinyon o nasabi ko.

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that I am a coward person, always afraid of taking a leap, always in shambles whenever a change is coming.

I am working on this slowly by taking the initiative sometimes starting on small things, or pushing myself out of my boundaries to gain experience and it truly does build a character, and lastly, by reminding myself that whether the change is good or bad, its direction and effects in my life depends on how I will handle it.

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Turn the negative thoughts into positive action.Think of anything positive to replace your negative thoughts.Instead of getting down about something, find something to be happy about and use this optimistic thought to replace your pessimistic thoughts. Practicing this over time, your mind will begin to focus on the good rather than the bad.

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Constructive Criticism: Speak to others what you feel about them.

I always choose to understand people because I do not want them to feel bad about themselves,  but sometimes understanding abused my kindness. I should speak to them, for me to have the the peace of mind I am looking for. I think it is not bad to think for the sake of myself sometimes, because I really don't get why are they like that to me.

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Before, I was always told that I'm only good at academics, nothing more, nothing less.
With this in mind, I worked hard on how I'll be able to improve myself  by doing something that I will still love and enjoy. And during the pandemic, I decided to explore and learn new things. I think being praised for cooking even just home-cooked meals is already a good start for me. Being good at something aside from academics really boosts and helps me regain my confidence because I know that I am being appreciated for doing something   that I now consider my passion. Cooking really gives me a different kind of self-fulfillment and having people around me recognizes my effort with it makes me want to level up this hobby of mine and take risks. Lately, I've been telling my parents that in future years, I'm planning to study again and enroll to culinary school.

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As an overthinker, I can’t help but think of imagining an object or situation. the constructive criticism that I need to improve is my advanced thinking. My acquaintances used to tell me that "It's better if you replace the negative things and make them positive so that it doesn't affect your mental health too much" This is right because as an overthinker, I need to change it and start with how I approach things around me. I need to value my mental health because this is where it all starts with how I handle my decisions in life.

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I've been told "easy for you to say because you're not in my position". I realized that might be true. I cannot relate to people when I don't firsthand experience it myself. I realized I need to improve my understanding and empathy for others so I can be sensitive with the things I say and do. Even if I failed to understand what they are going through, I still need to be kind and filter what I say. Even if I don't intend to hurt a person, we all have different ways of dealing with words thrown at us. So I know I need to develop my empathy.

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Being opinionated is one constructive criticism I'm working on. When we have a small group discussion, I always give my opinion if I believe it will benefit the conversation. However, someone once defined me as a person who always has an opinion on everything. I viewed it as constructive criticism and began a self-evaluation. So, every time we had a group discussion, I would filter my thoughts first before sharing them. If it's not important, I'd rather keep my thoughts to myself.

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Constructive Criticism: You must worked hard because it's not enough

For me i need to take it positively for me to grow. I think that they said that because they see that i can do more and i need to give my best to improve and grow. Since sometimes i have trust issues on my self.

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Constructive Criticism:  Sharing too much but does not speak up when its needed, or when I speak up it is always the wrong way.

With this, I guess I need to improve my communication skills specially in addressing opposite argument to other people. I need to be careful on how I express my points in a very understandable words without being so offensive. I already have the courage but I need to improve the way I speak to be heard completely. I do know that not everyone will understand me and I cannot please everyone but atleast I did my best to be the kindest to them. Proper timing of speaking must be practiced as well.

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One constructive criticism that I am improving right now is being a "closed-minded person" (which is I am not really that person) but for them who do not see me as an open one to different ideas, I am constantly improving myself to become better as an open-minded person. I am now looking at several perspectives of the people that will also influence my decision-making and yet for them to be considered depending upon its effect to the situation I am currently and will be dealing with.