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They just really love each other TvT

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"He registered a washlet from TOTO?" Minho can't help but laugh as he reviews the items that Jisung chose to add to their wedding gift registry.

"Your boyfriend is ridiculous," Seungmin comments, barely looking up from his phone. The two of them are having lunch near Seungmin's workplace so that the latter can update him on how wedding planning is proceeding so far.

Seungmin scoffs, finally locking his phone and putting it away so that he can be more present. "It's expensive," he points out.

"Nothing your combined salary with Changbin can't handle!" Minho points out with a grin. He's teasing, of course-he doesn't expect anything from his best friends, especially considering how much they're already helping plan the ceremony, but he also knows they would get him and Jisung something useful while extravagant for their wedding. Seungmin is the type to make sure of it.

Their lunch orders soon arrive, and Seungmin updates him on how the planning for his wedding is going. The two of them have oftentimes had a pretty contentious friendship, especially since Minho has always been Changbin's best friend and Seungmin's relationship with Changbin has had its fair share of ups and down, but when it comes down to it, they consider each other good friends, and Minho is truly thankful for his help. He knows that he and Jisung are lucky to have someone so organized like Seungmin in their lives; if it was up to just the two of them, they'd probably end up with a sloppy ceremony, with music playing from someone's iPad while guests are fed with endless appetizers, and no entrees. He would feel apologetic, since Seungmin has to squeeze in all the planning between his busy lawyer schedule, but he also knows Seungmin enjoys planning these things. Nevertheless he makes a mental note to express genuine gratitude to Seungmin when the wedding is over.

"So. You're getting married in a little over two weeks," Seungmin states the obvious with a sly grin as he finishes his salmon. "Have you written your vows yet?"

There are just too many of them, and every time he attempts to organize his thoughts on the matter, he feels quite overwhelmed.

"Nah," he answers, his tone deadpan on purpose. "I'm just going to wing it when the day comes." Seungmin looks horrified enough that Minho has to laugh and play it off as a joke. "Don't worry," he assures his friend. "All I have to say is I Do!"

The first time that Minho met Jisung was when he was 21, and Jisung, 19. He had been hanging out with Changbin on a Friday night, which more accurately was really just him bothering his friend in Changbin's solo dorm room, while the latter tried to cram a final paper that he was already late in turning in. It was in the middle of that incredibly slow and boring evening when one of the freshmen on Changbin's (who was a resident adviser) floor had called. Suddenly Changbin was ushering him out of his room and asking if Minho wouldn't mind driving off campus so he could pick up some drunk freshmen.

"Of course I mind," Minho had answered, mostly teasing because he grabbed his keys and his jacket anyway. He barely said a word as Changbin voiced out directions to where they were headed to.

"We could have been the ones getting wasted," he commented after Changbin ordered him to pull up by the sidewalk. Across the street was a guy who, at the time, Minho only vaguely recognized (a guy who he knows quite well now, as it was Seungmin) helping Changbin's childhood friend, Hyunjin stand upright. On the sidewalk were two more of their friends, practically sprawled on the ground next to each other. Minho couldn't help but laugh.

"You mean you could just as easily be the one about to be picked off the ground," Changbin retorted as he pushed the passenger door open. "And yet you chose not to," he added, and it was true, because it wasn't as if Minho had any schoolwork he needed to do at the last minute. He just didn't want to go partying without his friend - not that he would readily admit as much to Changbin, at least not back then.

House parties were all the same anyway, if you've been to one, you've been to all of them.

He followed Changbin as he crossed the street, curiosity getting the better of him and prompting him to inspect the two drunk freshmen on the ground while Changbin approached Seungmin and Hyunjin to help them.

This is the state Jisung was in when Minho first saw him: eyes glossed over, and with a silly smile that spread across his face after Minho curiously poked one of his soft, round cheeks with his finger. He had grinned, and then, very randomly, he had snapped his teeth at Minho - it was surprising, but it made Minho laugh.

"I'll take care of this one," he announced, chuckling to himself as he tried to help the boy up. Jisung had whined, but he was also quick to lean against Minho once he was up on his feet. He was so close, to the point that his warm, alcohol scented breath was fanning against Minho's neck.

"Fucking prince," he had whispered-at least Minho thinks that is what was said. Ten years later, he still couldn't be sure thanks to the way Jisung slurred his words - then again, ten years later it hardly mattered. He was greatly endeared anyway, and he had needed to bite his tongue so he could hold back his own giggling.

The real clincher, however, had been the day after.

Minho had woken up early for a jog, far too energized compared to the rest of the campus who had spent the night before celebrating the end of term by getting smashed - much like the freshmen from the night before, he had thought. Sweet, summer children.

Still, he had found himself gravitating towards his favorite coffee cart near the Humanities building, and that was where he had seen Jisung again; this time his eyes were bloodshot from lack of sleep and an obvious hangover, while his dirty blonde hair was sticking out in a very comical manner.

had still been the first thought in Minho's head, and maybe that should have been the first indication of just how bad he was going to have it for the younger male.

"Hey, what's up?" Hyunjin's voice crackles through the phone line when he picks up Minho's call, and he has to wince.

"You're breaking up," Minho answers.

"Oh, wait a sec," Hyunjin pauses, and Minho hears a bit of shuffling on the other end before Hyunjin speaks again. "How about now?"

"So-why'd you call?"

"Uh," he clears his throat, "Just checking if you're still flying in, the Thursday before the wedding?"

"Yeah, nothing's changed, don't worry." Hyunjin laughs. "Nakko and I booked tickets two months ago, we'll be at your wedding for sure, Minho."

"Okay." Minho nods, even though it's a voice call and Hyunjin can't see him across the line.

"Is that all?" Hyunjin prods; they have known each other long enough that Minho is sure that Hyunjin is aware there's more to the call than such a mundane question.

Minho chuckles softly; he called Hyunjin for this, so he might as well just ask, right? "No, uh-"

He laughs; the fact that he's making such a big deal out of this is just adding onto the embarrassment so he takes a deep breath and decides to just spit his question out. "How did you write your wedding vows?"

"Ah." Hyunjin chortles. "Is that it, Minho? Are you having trouble with your vows?"

Minho remains quiet; he exhales softly, in disbelief at how he has resorted to asking Hyunjin for his advice on this - it shouldn't even be shameful. Hyunjin is the only married one in their friend group, the only one who has written his own vows; who else is Minho supposed to ask if not him?

Minho was there for Hyunjin's wedding, of course. It was a pretty nice ceremony; far more grand than the intimate beach wedding that Minho and Jisung have planned. Still, the way Hyunjin had expressed himself-had expressed his love, and his desire to be with his bride for the rest of his life had touched something within Minho. Maybe it was something in the way that Hyunjin had been very earnest with his vows, despite the words being incredibly sappy.

He's a little envious, frankly. He tells himself that Jisung knows how he feels; that even if he wings it, like he had told Seungmin he would, Jisung wouldn't care.

And yet here he is, caring way too much.

"Minho," Hyunjin begins, his tone staid, more concerned than teasing. "Personally, I watched a wedding vow compilation on YouTube-" he snorts, as if he knows his own action to be ridiculous; Minho has to mentally agree. "I also looked up romantic poems, and then I tried cherry picking good lines to add to my speech-" his laughter grows. "I ended up with a really stupid speech that Seungmin scolded me for. At the end of the day, I just quoted a couple of lines from Nakko's favorite poem, and expressed my real feelings. That's all you need to do, Minho. Just express how you really feel."

"Sounds like a joke," he says anyway, laughing as he tries to make light of the conversation; he doesn't want anyone to know just how anxious he's starting to feel about his wedding vows.

Just express how you feel.

"I know you." Jisung, voice hoarse and tired, had greeted Minho like this when the two of them ran across each other at the coffee cart, that first morning after so many years ago. "How do I know you?"

He looked so pained in his attempt to make his brain work, but Minho found it amusing and adorable. He paused and stared, biting the inside of his cheek to prevent his own smile from forming, and he waited to see if Jisung's memory would be jogged. Two beats, three beats, five beats passed and Jisung just continued to glower at him.

"Last night," he prompted; maybe a simple hint would help Jisung remember.

"Shit!" Jisung winced, his face turning into a deep shade of crimson. "Did I-did we-? Did I make a fool of myself in front of you?" He stepped closer and lowered his voice into a whisper before he continued, "Did we, um-did we make out or something?"

Minho had kept laughing. The comment was strangely confident yet self-deprecating at once. "I'm Changbin's friend," he finally explained. "I was with him when your friend-Seungmin? When he called to be picked up."

"Oh." Realization finally dawned on Jisung's features. "

"Errr. Uh." Jisung smiled sheepishly. "Ji-"

"Jisung Han," Minho finished for him. "Changbin mentioned last night." He failed to clarify that Changbin only mentioned he had specifically asked for name.

"Oh, uh. Sorry you had to see me like... well. How I was," Jisung apologised.

"Don't be," Minho said with a chuckle. "My Friday night was boring until you and your friends provided ample entertainment."

Jisung frowned, his face turning redder, and Minho just laughed, yet again. And then he moved to step around Jisung so he could order coffee from the guy manning the car. "One americano," he said, before handing over a few bills. "And I'll pay for whatever he had," he added, jerking a thumb towards Jisung.

"Wait-!" Jisung attempted to protest, but Minho simply shot him a look over his shoulder and Jisung proceeded to shrink away.

"Here," Minho handed him his drink after; both of them had ordered the same Iced Americano, less ice, with Jisung asking for an extra shot of espresso on his.

"Thanks," Jisung mumbled, straw in between his teeth as he sipped on his drink.

"One would think you'd still be in bed in your room right now," Minho commented when the two of them fell into step together; technically, he hadn't finished his jogging route. "So why are you up so early?"

Jisung's face contorted into a very displeased expression. "My IntroPol prof is a fossil living in the previous century," he grumbled. "He refuses to let his students submit final papers through e-mail, and since he was already out last night when I finished my paper, I had to get it in this morning or accept a fucking zero."

Minho nodded. "Professor Chang?"

Jisung turned to him. "Yeah! How'd you know?"

"Had him last year," Minho explained, laughing. He had the guy for History of Governance instead of Introduction to Politics, but he had to suffer through the same outdated teaching techniques. "Does he still just spit out fact after fact during class?"

"Raining sp-" Minho couldn't even repeat the entire phrase without laughing harder. "I used to sit at the front-first two weeks of class, and then I very gladly relocated to the back because of that exact reason."

"He missed you," Chris comments with casual amusement.

Minho makes a face, but he doesn't really pry Felix off of him until the latter readily disengages. "Missed you too, Lix," he deadpans. To be fair, while they saw Chris last year when he traveled to California for work, the last time they had seen Felix was over two years ago when Hyunjin got married.

"Next time you guys come to Sydney instead, when Chris gets married," Felix comments, as if reading Minho's thoughts. His words have Minho and Chris exchanging looks, though.

"Didn't realise Chris even had someone in this life he's considering marrying?" Minho asks, eyebrow lifted.

"That's because Chris," the oldest among them points at himself, "doesn't."

"Pfft!" Felix scoffs and slings an arm around Chris' wide shoulders. "There'll be someone soon enough. You're too perfect to remain single for too long."

"Anyway!" Chris clears his throat, and Minho starts leading them out to the airport parking lot. "We're here for Minho and Jisung's wedding-can't believe you two are actually gonna make it official, man! Never would have thought!"

Minho throws him a narrowed gaze. "Is that your way of saying you didn't think we would last?"

"Mate-" Chris laughs. "More like my way of saying I was beginning to think you would never actually get together! By the time I left for Australia, you still hadn't gotten your shit right. If you asked me back then, I would have put all my chips on Seungmin and Changbin being married by now."

"Oh, I'm sure they're not far behind," Minho comments.

"Oooh-" Felix's eyes sparkle with curiosity. "Do you know something we don't?"

Minho shrugs. "Not really, but they're stronger than ever. They moved in together last month, and they seem pretty happy. You should see their house-" he laughs, "-and you will, because that's where we're having dinner tonight!"

"Seungmin's cooking?" Chris asks, brow furrowed.

"And if I say Changbin-?"

Chris's expression morphs into a horrified one, which has Minho bursting into laughter; as someone who lived with Changbin for a good number of years in their early 20s, he knows better than anyone how Changbin can barely even tell a wok apart from a frying pan. A disgrace to his Asian roots, and Minho never lets him forget it.

"Don't worry," he assures his two Australian friends. "Changbin can toss a mean salad now-but Jisung and I ordered dishes from our favorite restaurant. We'll pick them up on the way."

They finally reach his car, and he opens the hatchback so they can squeeze Chris and Felix's luggage into it.

"Shotgun!" Felix announces, bright and energetic, and it makes Minho smile; whenever they all get together he feels like he's 20 again, at the cusp of his youth, and looking forward to a bright future. It's a pretty good feeling, and quite appropriate considering he's about to get married - the future couldn't be any brighter than that.

Minho gets into the driver's seat and pulls his door shut; he looks at Chris through the rearview mirror, one eyebrow lifted. "This is hurting my heart, Chris," he deadpans; it isn't really, and the way both Felix and Chris laugh in response is proof enough that his friends know him pretty well. "But I'll bite," he continues as he turns the ignition. "What did he used to say?"

"He used to say that it's never boring with you," Chris answers.

"Ah!" Felix nods eagerly, chuckling. "He used to tell me the same thing. One time, I asked him why he liked you so much-" from the periphery of his vision, Minho notices him wrinkling his nose, a habit that Felix has when recalling less than fond memories.

"Why do I have a feeling that this isn't a good thing?"

"I think it was Yeonjun," Chris interjects, which has Minho squinting at him through the mirror again.

"Gossip travels fast," Chris shrugs; Minho scoffs.

"Yeah." Felix chuckles. "It was around then-and Jisung was so-he wasn't even angry. He was just frustrated. And I told him that he should try and just move on-" he pauses, biting his cheek and glancing at Minho as if nervous about this admission. Not that he should be, because even though he's glad that Jisung ultimately didn't move on from his feelings for him, Minho doesn't really blame Felix for giving such advice. "Anyway, Jisung said that even if he was hurt, that didn't mean he didn't want you in his life anymore-he said he was always going to want you in his life, because-well, because he never feels bored with you." Felix laughs, and adds jokingly, "My boy sure has his priorities straight!"

Chris hums. "It just so happens that some of these never boring, exciting moments included a bit of heartbreak," he muses.

It prickles at Minho's heart; he wants to snap because he would like to think that he's been nothing but a good boyfriend to Jisung over these last three years that they've been together. Sure they still have arguments here and there, but they've been very open with each other in ways that they weren't when they were younger.

"We're past that now," he points out, trying to sound unaffected, but the shakiness of his tone isn't lost even on him.

Chris smiles. "Everyone can tell," he points out, proud and encouraging. "Which is why we're bold enough to joke about your past shortcomings now," he teases, breaking into laughter as he leans forward to clap Minho on the shoulder. "Congrats, Minho, you're about to get married."

"With the love of your life!" Felix screeches, a little too loud that it makes Minho wince.

"Shut up," he mumbles, pretending to be annoyed, but the smile tugging at his lips easily betrays him to his friends.

It was during his junior year that Minho moved into an off-campus apartment with Changbin - and because there was space, and they were all broke university students, with Changbin came Seungmin and Hyunjin.

Jisung stayed at the school dorms, but with his friends doubling as Minho's roommates, it wasn't long before their friend groups seamlessly blended together. Jisung, along with his roommate Felix, were regulars on their couch; Seungmin sometimes complained about them cleaning out their pantry but overall they were always welcome guests.

Minho and Jisung only got closer with this new setup, the two of them frequently watching movies in the living room, or sometimes in Minho's room if any of his other roommates beat them to the couch.

If Minho is going to be frank, he would admit that the attraction had been strong even then-but this wasn't something he was ready to be upfront about in his early 20's. The closer he and Jisung got, the more he kept the attraction at bay. He dated around freely, and he's pretty sure, considering the amount of times Felix crashed at the apartment because Jisung had a 'guest' at their dorm, that Jisung was far from celibate himself.

As close as they were, discussions on their romantic and sexual endeavours were strangely taboo. Minho didn't know who was waiting for whom - at the time, he would press that it was neither; that was a lie though because he was always waiting, he just didn't know what he was waiting for.

It wasn't until around Jisung's 21st birthday that he found some answers. Jisung was only a day older than Felix, and a week older than Seungmin so it made sense that the three of them celebrated together.

Changbin offered up their apartment as a party venue, and Minho didn't care enough to protest. Besides, it was one-thirds for Jisung, and how could he say no to that?

Alcohol was free-flowing thanks to Changbin's AmEx card, and Minho felt bold enough to chug drink after drink, losing count of the amount of shots he continually took through the night. It was a party at his own home, and he had no excuse or reason to hold back. (Getting wasted totally had nothing to do with how Jisung brought a female friend with him and Minho assumed she was his date-to this day Minho would absolutely deny it; maybe even more so today that he knows Seoyeon is nothing but a friend; even more so now that Seoyeon's presence that night was the catalyst for Hyunjin meeting his future wife. Minho isn't the jealous type-that's what he'd like people to assume anyway.)

"Lee Minho!" Jisung had stumbled into the kitchen when Minho had been looking for a spare bottle opener; the rest of the party was in the living room but the walls were thin enough that the loud bass of the music playing only helped to amplify the thrumming of Minho's heart at Jisung's sudden presence.

"Don't creep up on people like that," Minho had mumbled, turning away from Jisung; uncapping his beer was a flimsy but good enough excuse.

It was hard to look at Jisung when the apples of his round cheeks were flushed a deep crimson, complementing the rosiness of his lips which in turn kept drawing Minho's line of sight towards them. The fact that he was drunk as a fish meant he didn't have enough self-control to keep his long brewing attraction at bay.

"Boo!" Before he knew it, Jisung was suddenly right behind him, close enough that Minho could feel his warm breath against his ear; it made him shudder, but nothing could compare to the electricity that passed through him when Jisung wrapped his arms around him from behind and he squished his cheek against Minho's his shoulder.

"Jisung." He could barely react; even the way Jisung's name slid off his tongue sounded a little slurred.

"Minho," Jisung whined; he was clearly as inebriated as Minho felt, if not more. "I'm drunk."

"You think you're special?" Minho laughed. "So am I."

He tried prying himself away from Jisung, but he made the grave mistake of turning around to face the younger boy-made the grave mistake of allowing their eyes to meet. The tension in the air grew so thick in that moment that even the party noises in the next room seemed like they completely faded away. Minho vaguely remembers swallowing quietly; he was always the type of drunk who remembered everything.

Somewhere in the back of his head, the sane, sober part of Minho was screaming; berating him for acting like he was the protagonist of some shitty teenage drama. Minho had always thought that TV teens were stupid in how they always seemed to be slaves to their hormones, and yet there he was-in his 20s and falling headlong into the same trap.

Jisung's kisses were intoxicating, twisting his thoughts more than any kind of alcohol he had imbibed that night. He wanted them so bad, and Minho was desperate and drunk enough that all his inhibitions were easily kept at bay.

With Jisung busy overseeing an upcoming exhibit at the gallery he works at, Minho, who is more or less his own boss, is left to pick up and entertain their friends as they fly into the city one after another.

Jeongin is the next one to arrive, and even though it's impossible, Minho thinks he looks an inch or two taller than the last time they met. He wonders if that's because Jeongin is the youngest among their friend group, so every time they don't see each other for a prolonged amount of time, there's an illusion that he's grown.

"Innie!!" He yells as soon as he spots his friend; he waves both hands in the air, laughing. Something about Jeongin being the youngest also has Minho always acting shameless and silly, like an older brother vying for the youngest brother's attention; out of habit, he supposes. Remnants from their university years together.

"Minho!" Jeongin grins, his eyes disappearing completely into half moons. They don't hug because they aren't as starved for skinship as some of their other friends, but instead they regard each other quietly for a few seconds before they both break out into matching grins.

"Why couldn't you have arrived the same day as Chan and Lixie did?" Minho clicks his tongue as he helps Jeongin pack the excessive amount of luggage he has in the trunk of his car. He has flown in straight from Seoul where he had spent the last six months because of work placement. "Instead I've had to deal with airport traffic twice in a single week."

He's complaining but he doesn't really mind. Jeongin knows it too, because he simply laughs and rolls his eyes. "You're the one getting married, Minho. Your friends wouldn't be converging here if you weren't!"

"Jisung's the one who wants you all here, not me," Minho jokes.

Jeongin snorts. "You know you missed us," he comments as he climbs into the passenger seat.

"You've grown up to be a pain in my ass," Minhon retorts, taking his place behind the wheel.

"I learned from the expert," Jeongin says. "His name is Lee Minho."

Jeongin grins. "I've got good news for you then!"

"Should I hold my breath?"

"I've been thinking about moving back here," Jeongin shares, ignoring Minho's teasing remark. "I truly miss the sun, and there's an opening in my company's office here. I asked my boss to recommend me."

"Yeah?" Minho glances sideways at him; he has to admit, he's pleasantly surprised but it's welcome news and he's sure it shows on his expression. "What about your girlfriend?"

"We've been doing long distance longer than we haven't," Jeongin explains. He had met his current girlfriend at Hyunjin's wedding, and even then, Jeongin had been based in a different state as her. "But we've been talking about making changes regarding that now that I'm back for good and she's open to moving here. What do you think?"

Minho taps his fingers against the steering wheel, humming. "I think that's great, Innie. Would be nice to expand our social lives outside of Seungmin and Changbin."

Jeongin chortles. "Nothing's set in stone yet though, but I'm hopeful. I think she's excited for the possible change, actually?" He turns and looks at Minho, his expression much more thoughtful now. "If Jisung had thought of moving out of state in the past, would you have followed?"

Minho doesn't even have to pause and think about it, but the speed in which the answer comes to him does make his cheeks flush.

Frankly, he would probably follow Jisung to the ends of the Earth if Jisung asked him to; the mirth in Jeongin's laughter tells Minho that Jeongin-and likely the rest of their friends-is very much aware of this.

The morning after their first kiss, Minho was met not just with a colossal hangover but also with news that two of his roommates had finally gotten their act together - Seungmin and Changbin were a couple in the making for just as long as as Minho and Jisung had been at that point.

"Congratulations," Minho had told his best friend; he didn't sound as enthused as he genuinely felt, but that was more because his mouth was as dry as sand, and his head felt like it was pulsating every five seconds or so.

If Jisung (or Felix, for that matter) missed their cramped dorm room so much that they had to go back at twilight o'clock without waking anyone else up, he was okay with that. He was more than fine with that! And if the reason happened to skew more towards Jisung being uncomfortable or unprepared to talk about what transpired the night before, then Minho could get behind that.

All these thoughts had run around his head, not really helping the terrible hangover he had, so he chose to take a couple of Advils, buried his head under his pillow and slept most of the day away. He woke up late in the afternoon, only to walk into Seungmin and Changbin looking suspiciously cozy on the living room couch-and he really should have figured that was a preview of his immediate future.

The following weeks after the party mostly featured Seungmin and Changbin growing increasingly closer. "I was honest with him," was his best friend's simple explanation that persistently ran through his thoughts whenever he and Jisung were in the same room.

But Jisung kept mum-he acted like he remembered nothing from that evening; he smiled at Minho like nothing had changed, so Minho followed his lead.

By the time Seungmin and Changbin make their relationship official a month or so after that fateful night-by the time Seungmin and Changbin had elevated their PDA to shameless newlywed style level, Minho and Jisung had simply settled right back into their old habits. Regular coffee hangouts in between their classes and impromptu movie nights here and there.

"I'm dying here," was a message he frequently sent Jisung. "Seungmin and Changbin are all over each other in the living room, while Hyunjin is in his room with his gf. SOS."

"Coming to your rescue!" Jisung was always quick to hit him back. "We can microwave popcorn and throw kernels at Seungmin and Changbin every time their faces come within an inch of each other."

"Come and chill with me at my dorm instead," he would say. "You can take a break from your honeymooning roommates and we can Netflix here."

Minho always leaned into it-always accepted Jisung's heroic offers. A small part of him knew he was waiting again, and deny as he might, by then he knew exactly what he was waiting for. But it was that same denial that drove him to overcompensate.

One night, during the end of term, friends from his major invited him to go out clubbing. "We need a fucking night out after that damn project," Yeonjun, his project partner, had insisted. Considering his laptop had almost given in when coding that term's final machine problem, Minho figured he deserved a little celebration. So when Jisung asked if he could come over and watch movies with him, he texted him back with a brief apology and a rain check.

That night's lesson was something that was going to stay with him for a long time yet: alcohol is a truly strange thing. Sometimes it's good to him-great in the way it lets him lessen his inhibitions and great in the way it lets him grab opportunities he otherwise wouldn't dare reach for; a lot of the time, however, it doesn't really do him any favors.

He woke up the next morning, a naked Yeonjun next to him in bed, and he was pretty sure that alcohol fucked him over again.

Except-not really, because he was pretty sure it was his own choice to grind against Yeonjun on the dance floor; his own choice to pull his project partner towards him; his own choice to push any and all thoughts of Jisung out of his head. Celibacy wasn't doing him any favors, and ultimately it was his choice to succumb to his own raging lust, and his own choice to bring Yeonjun home with him.

"Hey Minho, we need to-!"

And then Jisung had charged into his bedroom that morning looking pretty gung-ho and determined to talk to him, only to stop short at the sight that had greeted him; Yeonjun, miraculously (and maybe fortunately, all things considered), kept sleeping through the minor ruckus.

In that moment, that small voice at the back of Minho's head had started back up, laughing at him because he truly had become the protagonist of his own little teen soap.

"So. You're getting married tomorrow," Changbin muses out loud; it's just the two of them seated next to each other on the back patio of Minho and Jisung's beachfront house.

The rest of their friends are inside, catching up over drinks, and having a fine time because their entire friend group (including plus ones in some cases), are finally complete again after years. It's only Minho and Changbin who had excused themselves to have a few beers on their own. Minho has known Changbin the longest out of everyone, which is why he's his Best Man.

"Fuck." Minho laughs. "Can you believe it?"

"Not really," Changbin deadpans; a beat passes before the two of them lock gazes and simultaneously break into laughter. "Dude," Changbin wheezes. "I can, and I can't."

"The fuck does that mean?"

"Well things were pretty touch and go for a while, weren't they?"

It's Changbin's turn to snort, and Minho's turn to flash a smug grin; true enough, both of their relationships have experienced a lot of ups and downs. Curiously, hardly ever at the same time, at least when they were younger; at least until a couple of years ago when the stars finally aligned in both their favors.

"That's a valid comeback," Changbin admits. "But hey, look where we're both at now."

Minho grunts; his ears feel hot, because look where they are now.

"You would have thought the universe had a rule against both of us being happy at the same time, huh?" he murmurs.

"Hey!" Changbin cackles as he punches Minho's shoulder lightly. "Don't jinx it."

Minho hums. "But it really was touch and go for a long while, huh?" He exhales quietly, a montage of the past replaying in his head.

"Honestly, there was a time when most of our friends assumed the two of you missed your window of opportunity." Changbin smirks before taking a swig of beer. "Except me. I had complete faith in you, man."

Minho laughs. "I thought I missed the window too-for the longest time I figured that was the case." He shrugs, mirroring Changbin and lifting his own drink to his lips; he's a little buzzed now and he has always been more honest with Changbin than with anyone else, bar Jisung. "For a while I even had myself convinced that it was fine, as long as we remained at each other's side as friends."

"As friends," Changbin echoes, his tone almost mocking. "You weren't fooling anyone but yourself. I doubt even Jisung was fooled-he was just as much in denial. What a pair of idiots."

Minho laughs. "Our youth is all about denial, okay? A person's early 20s is that time in their life when they're allowed to be stupid."

"Yeah? Tell me about it."

"You know I don't have to. You already know."

Changbin chortles. "Once again a valid comeback."

Silence takes over briefly, both of them staring at the open ocean; after a while Minho uncaps the next round of beers and he exhales shakily.

"It's always easier to be myself when I'm with Jisung," he admits softly. Changbin gives him a curious expression, but he remains silent; he doesn't make a teasing remark, which is his way of encouraging Minho to continue. "Wanting to always have him in my life made it harder to take risks."

"Six years, though." Changbin clicks his tongue. "Took you six damn years."

"Yeah. Six years filled with bad decisions, and even worse timing." Minho laughs; it isn't as if they didn't have opportunities in the six years they knew each other before they finally confessed to their feelings for one another.

For one, their first drunken make-out had certainly not been their last; it had not been the first time they had allowed themselves to act on their feelings only to shrink back and choose the safe option once the haze of alcohol was lifted.

It was frustrating, but like Minho just told Changbin-they were young and therefore understandably foolish.

"Look, I'm sure it was frustrating for everyone else to watch us dance around each other," he admits. "But in those six years, we had a lot of growing to do, and we let ourselves do that on our own terms. He feels so, so warm-and he doesn't know if it's from the alcohol or from his own embarrassment; he usually doesn't like getting into his feelings but he finds that he's been doing just that these last few weeks. "Jisung was patient with me through all those six years. He stayed by my side as my friend, and he never tried to change me or pressure me. And then one day we were just ready to be together. And that's why-" his voice has been lowered to a soft and gentle whisper at this point, "-I'm the best version of myself when I'm with him. Because all those years filled with frustration taught me that he's always going to be there for me, but not at his expense, or that of my personal growth."

"Damn." Changbin laughs. "Bro, you're fucking whipped."

Minho groans, his back sliding down in his chair. "Fuck, I am, aren't I?" He laughs along and shakes his head. "No fucking point in denying it."

"Cheers to that!" Changbin agrees, practically cackling as he lifts his beer bottle. "Cheers to that."

Six years, give or take, had passed since the first time they met; their feelings for each other had stewed that long, but more than that, those years had been spent getting to know each other-inside and out, both the good and the bad.

Somewhere along those six years-after university became a memory of the past, and they all set off on the path of adulthood-Jisung had moved into Minho and Changbin's apartment. It wasn't really a big deal; Hyunjin long ago moved out to live with his long-term girlfriend, while Seungmin moved out because things had gone sour between him and Changbin. Jisung's own roommate had moved back to Australia to be with his family, and moving in with Minho and Changbin was the obvious, practical thing to do.

Changbin likes to refer to that time in his life as his peak third-wheeling era; Minho likes to flick his forehead every time he expresses as much.

Nevertheless, he wasn't completely wrong. Minho and Jisung's close friendship had only deepened when they lived together; they were always doing things together and it didn't help that Changbin had chosen to throw himself into his work after his own break-up.

"Kinda sucks, doesn't it?" Jisung was telling Minho as the two of them hung out. They had a big bowl of popcorn between them, while some lame horror film they found on Netflix played on the television; they were barely paying attention though, and instead they were more focused on gossiping about their third roommate who was doing overtime at his office for the third time that week. "Bin's never around because he's choosing to sulk at work, and Seungmin seldom hangs out with us. I think he thinks it's awkward because we live with Changbin. Probably feels like we chose him or something,"

"Seungmin isn't that much of an idiot," Minho countered; he knew there was probably some truth to what Jisung was saying though. "He might feel that but he'll know it's not true. Although-maybe you should invite him to go out this weekend or something. You're closer to him than I am."

"Hmmm." Jisung nodded as he stuffed his face with more popcorn; Minho remembers this vividly, if only because he couldn't bring himself to look away from Jisung's puffed up cheeks. "You're right, I might do that."

Minho had sighed quietly; he had attempted to focus on the movie, but he had kept glancing at Jisung. Seungmin and Changbin's troubles were in his thoughts more than he cared to admit; the way they could barely be in the same room together-the way their friends felt torn even though both of them had assured them all that there was no need to take sides. The possibility of this happening was why Minho had always been so scared to move forward with Jisung, and yet-he couldn't help but still feel envy at his best friend's broken relationship.

At least they had one.

"Hey Minho." Jisung had said his name under his breath; barely a mumble and yet it was effective in cutting through Minho's thoughts.

"I just want to say," he began; he even cleared his throat. "You're one of my best friends. The person I'm most comfortable with, and I hope there never comes a day when we become like Seungmin and Changbin."

Minho had frowned at that; he wasn't sure what Jisung was trying to say and he had turned to meet the younger's gaze, only to find that Jisung himself seemed to be struggling. His expression was that of unease.

"I mean-" Jisung laughed nervously. "Obviously things are different with us. Seungmin and Changbin were together after all-but. I just thought it was worth saying to you that-"

"Jisung, stop," Minho interrupted him sharply. The younger man's words felt heavy, if only because they sounded resigned; sad, even. And it was in that moment that Minho realised how pointless it was to keep denying them both of their feelings. He was tired of keeping his own feelings at bay, and he felt too old for the drama that being in denial brought; more than anything else, he just wanted to be with Jisung. At the time he wasn't sure if he was ready for all the trappings that came along with that, but he also knew that he was never going to find out if he didn't take his chance.

"Sorry," Jisung mumbled.

Jisung's eyes had widened; had filled with hope as they stared at Minho and he struggled to put together what the words meant. "Minho..." he started, only to trail as he seemingly tried to gather his thoughts.

Minho could feel his ears heating up. "You feel the same right?"

Jisung laughed. "Are you an idiot?"

"No?" Minho tried laughing, but the longer Jisung didn't give him a straight answer the more he felt anxious. "Yes? I've been told by Changbin numerous times as much, and maybe he's right-don't tell him though-"

And then Jisung had sighed before he reached forward, grabbed Minho by the ears-which was strangely sexy, but he would digress-and pulled Minho towards himself. The kiss was heated as soon as their mouths crashed together; it wasn't their first, but it was still filled with years of compounded emotions; with ardent yearning; with unyielding resolution.

"I really don't want to be just best friends either," Jisung had whispered breathless, once he managed to pull away; panting, whiny, yet absolutely firm and decided.

"Yeah-" Minho could only laugh, unable to keep at bay the joy that had bloomed in his heart. "I could tell."

A few things:

One, Minho bought a pair of engagement rings after his small start-up company received a generous funding extension from a venture capitalist firm. It was completely spontaneous because marriage wasn't something that he and Jisung had been actively discussing, yet, upon paying for it didn't feel like that at all - it felt like it had been a long time coming, and it was a purchase that he deemed well spent.

Two, the morning of the day he had mentally marked as the day he was going to propose-he had planned for it too, fancy evening dinner and wine and an embarrassingly romantic scenario all set-up-he had early morning breakfast where his boyfriend, over very unromantic soggy cereal, asked, out of the blue, "Hey Minho, wanna get hitched?"

Minho had almost choked on milk, while Jisung looked surprised at his own words-like his joke had fallen flat, or rather, like his joke had rang a little too true.

"Did you find the rings?" Minho asked, in between coughs.

"Huh? What?" Jisung's own confusion had only grown; as if he was trying to process Minho's words on top of his own. "What rings?"

Minho blinked, swallowed the overly chewed food in his mouth, and then he quietly padded out of the kitchen, only to return a few minutes late. He held out to Jisung the small velvet box he had kept hidden in his gym bag for the last two weeks, unable to keep the smug grin that spread across his face when his boyfriend's eyes had widened like saucers.

"Are you fucking real?!" Jisung had squawked after he took the present, and he caught a glimpse of what was inside.

Minho laughed, stepped closer, and planted a chaste kiss on the corner of Jisung's mouth. "Guess now you know if I want to get hitched-do

Three: It's a sunny day when Lee Minho and Han Jisung get married.

It happens on the beach, in a small sheltered bay very close to the waterfront property that they jointly own and live at. The guest list isn't very big; intimate and mostly family and friends that they've had and shared for a long time.

Seungmin, who helped plan and coordinate at least 90% of the wedding was also the one standing at the end of the aisle, looking incredibly proud and happy as their wedding officiant.

("You should quit your job and start a wedding planning company," Jisung had joked once.

"That's right, you should be paying me," Seungmin was quick to bite back. "You willing to do that?"

Jisung had laughed in response, and so had Minho; to be fair, they're extremely grateful and Seungmin doesn't know it yet-won't know until right before Jisung and Minho leave for their honeymoon, but they did book Seungmin and Changbin a weekend staycation at one of the city's nicest hotels.)

"Han Jisung," he begins. "I think most of our friends were shocked when we told them that we were going to get married-I think they all assumed we were going to continue living in sin-as if we don't think about all the tax perks married people have-?"

"Yah-" Jisung interrupts him, eyes narrowed, but still with a silly grin that he obviously couldn't wipe off his face even if he tried. The audience laughs, but Minho doesn't really care-all he could see was Jisung, ecstatic.

"Minho-" Jisung laughs, and squeezes their joined hands; Minho's heart swells just from the simple action.

"Han Jisung," he murmurs, "there are really only a few things I can truly promise, and they all begin with-I vow to always be by your side like you have always been by mine. I vow to always be a version of myself that I can be proud of, after all, how can I expect you to like me if I can't like myself?" He chuckles softly, and as his confidence grows, it's his turn to squeeze Jisung's hands in his. "Han Jisung, I vow to just be myself-the person chose to be with, and the person who chose to be with I love you, Han Jisung."

(Jisung's vows are much more poetic; much more confidently delivered, with just the right amount of wit and humor mixed in with the sincere, genuine message of loving Minho forever. Minho expected as much; nevertheless, it doesn't stop him from internally swooning.)

Finally: He will deny if asked, but Lee Minho always knew-he was always going to marry Han Jisung, it was only ever just a matter of when.

(The important thing is-Han Jisung knows; and Han Jisung would gladly tell as much to anyone who asks.)

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Going, Going - bitsori - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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"He registered a washlet from TOTO?" Minho can't help but laugh as he reviews the items that Jisung chose to add to their wedding gift registry. "Your boyfriend is ridiculous," Seungmin comments, barely looking up from his phone.

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Tags

Summary

Minho stared at the boy, not realizing he'd spoken up until he heard his own voice softly whisper,
"Stay."
He cringed at the pleading lilt slipping into his tone.

Jisung's expression fell, his gaze dropping to the floor to avoid looking at the disappointment on the other's face as he replied in a small voice,
"I'm sorry..."

OR

The Coffee Shop AU that no one really asked for.
Minho's working the night shift at a 24/7 coffee shop (bless Chan for his crazy ideas) and he's so ready to throw down the apron.
Enter a mysterious boy and some late night Americanos that spice up Minho's life.

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All The Times I Asked You To Stay, And The One Time You Did - JinkookTrash - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary Minho stared at the boy, not realizing he'd spoken up until he heard his own voice softly whisper,"Stay."He cringed at the pleading lilt slipping into his tone.

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Chapter Text

Of all the reactions he could have possibly gotten when Minho decided to ask Jisung to prom, hearing "You're not allowed to ask me!" was the last response he would have ever expected. Sure, maybe it would have been too much to expect a 'Yes' straight away, but if Jisung really didn't want to go, he was expecting at least a 'Sorry' or even a flat out 'No' coming from his boyfriend of two and a half years instead.

Minho blinked a few times as Jisung pouted at him, before snatching the prom tickets from Minho's hands. "You're not allowed to ask me!" he repeated, stuffing the tickets in his pocket and crossing his arms angrily in front of him.

"Umm... can I ask why?" Minho finally stuttered in confusion, scratching the back of his neck.

"I've been planning the way I was going to ask you for weeks now, you can't ruin it!" Jisung whined in response, looking over at Changbin - who stood there watching this all with an amused look on his face. "Now you know though, and it's not going to be a surprise!"

"Um, but it's my senior prom so shouldn't I be asking you-"

"Listen Minho, forget this conversation ever happened okay?" Jisung waved his arms in front of Minho, as if doing so would wipe away Minho's memories of their whole conversation. "I just need you to wait a few days, and then everything will be all set for you, okay?" Taking Minho's silent confusion as his answer, Jisung pulled Minho into a quick hug before racing down the hall, nearly crashing into Jeongin at the end.

Minho blinked once. And then again. Slowly, he turned towards Changbin, who still stood there with an annoying smirk.

"What... just happened."

"What appears to have just happened," Changbin finally chimed in, snickering. "Is that you got rejected by Jisung, got your prom tickets stolen, and somehow ruined this big surprise that Jisung was working on. And hey, all before second period too!"

❤❤❤

Despite the utmost enthusiasm that Jisung had intercepted Minho's attempt to ask him to prom, Minho had pretty much forgotten the whole scene by the time Friday afternoon rolled around, more focused on getting out of school and into his bed, where the plan was to not leave it until next Monday morning. That's why the small piece of paper taped to his locker threw him off, the familiar handwritten For Minho's eyes only!! pretty much confirming his aforementioned plans would have to wait.

He had hardly seen Jisung that past week, ever since the time when Jisung had rejected his question and stolen his tickets. Everytime Minho tried to catch the other during school hours, Jisung would always give him a surprised face, before dashing off on the pretense of "not wanting to ruin the surprise!" It was cute the first time, but by Friday, Minho just wanted to see his boyfriend for more than two seconds at a time.

Quickly, he pulled the paper off his locker.

Hi Minho!＼(≧▽≦)／

Welcome to Han Jisung's absolutely extraordinary prom scavenger hunt! In this scavenger hunt, I've created various clues that will lead you to different places that are special to the two of us, and at each of these locations will be someone waiting with a task for you to do! The rules are simple, just follow the clues and complete all the tasks until you reach the final destination, where your amazing boyfriend Jisung will be waiting!

Your first task: Find the person who introduced the two of us!

"Wow, would you look at that, your first task is already done." Minho tilted his head towards Changbin, who had appeared out of nowhere right as Minho finished reading the note.

"Really now? Because I don't think I remember a Seo Changbin being there." Minho snickered, putting the note in his pocket and crossing his arms at Changbin. "You sure you're the answer to this? Maybe I should be looking for Chan or Hyunjin instead."

"Screw you, you know I was the one who introduced the two of you. You never let me forget it." Changbin rolled his eyes, pulling another slip of paper from his pocket. "Anyways, congrats on completing your first task, even though I had to pretty much do the work for you." He handed the second note to Minho.

If you're reading this note, then you got the first task correct!

("No he didn't", Minho heard Changbin mutter next to him, and elbowed him in the stomach in response.)

Changbinnie will be your guide for the scavenger hunt. I know that you'll have no problem getting all the clues and tasks correct, but in the slight miniscule chance that you forget something, Changbin has a general idea of where everything is, and he also is allowed to contact me for help!

"Guess you're stuck with me the rest of this day huh," Minho commented. "How much did Jisung have to pay you to do this?"

Changbin scoffed. "Maybe I did it to help Jisung plan an amazing surprise for you?" Minho looked at Changbin, one eyebrow raised. "20 bucks. Plus he's helping me with my latest project." Minho snickered at that, before returning to the note in his hand.

Well, the second location is this:

The place where our paths first crossed, amidst all the shining stars and underneath the glittering lights.

"And he calls himself a lyricist," Minho laughed fondly, before looping his arm around Changbin's neck. "Let's go minion. I've got a squirrel to find."

❤❤❤

Attending an art school had many perks to it, one of the many being the various facilities their school provided for the artistic endeavors of their students. One of Minho's favorites was what the student population referred to as the "Dancetorium". Somewhere between a dance studio and actual performance stage, it was akin to a small concert hall, with a wide and spacious dance floor positioned at the front. It wasn't uncommon for the room to be booked for dance video filmings or other performances, and the dance classes would be using the room on other days for on stage practices.

On that day however, the room was empty, with Changbin and Minho entering a semi-darkened room, seats completely void of anyone. There was only one other person in there, someone who was lying flat on the stage in the front. He turned his head slightly towards the two as Changbin let the door close behind them. Minho grinned.

"Look who's arrived to put you out of your misery, Hyunjin." He said, making his way closer to the stage. Hyunjin sat up, a pout on his face.

"About time you guys showed up, Jisung's had me waiting here as soon as last period ended, that was like an hour ago." He grumbled, but there was no malice in his voice.

"Excuse you, you should be grateful I decided to grace you with my presence like this." Minho retorted, plopping down right next to Hyunjin. "Well, I'm here now, so let's get this over with, I guess."

Hyunjin sighed, rolling his eyes at Minho's nonchalance. "Rude much, be a little more enthusiastic about this, would you." He said, handing Minho a piece of paper.

Yay! You've made it this far already! Hopefully you didn't keep Hyunjin waiting too long!

Do you remember the first day that we met here? I know it's cheesy to say this, but I'll always be grateful to Hyunjin for dragging me here that day, because if he didn't, our paths may never have crossed. I'll also be grateful that he pointed you out to me as one of his favorite dancers on YouTube, because when he did, I first caught sight of one of the prettiest boys I have ever seen. And I guess I'll be thankful that he pushed me to talk to you first, and told Changbin to introduce the two of us.

So maybe it was all thanks to Hyunjin, or maybe it was all just a stroke of plain luck, but everything really fell perfectly in place that day where I was fated to meet you.

Anyways, Hyunjin will give you your second task here! Good luck Minho! o(≧▽≦)o I believe in you!

"So Jisung gave a list of questions and answers about him." Hyunjin pulled a paper from his pocket. "So I personally think you should get at least 90% correct, but I guess Jisung doesn't have as much faith in you. You need to get at least half correct before I can give you your next clue." He unfolded the sheet, scanning the top question.

"Okay, first question. What is Jisung's go to ice cream order at Nayeon's Sweets Shop?" Minho smiled to himself. If that was the level of questions, then he was also pretty sure he'd get 90% in no time.

"Easy, chocolate."

"Oh that's not it," Changbin chimed in, picking at his nails boredly. "He only gets chocolate ice cream when he's with you, since it's your favorite flavor and he wants to do the whole "share a cone between two people" thing with you." He paused, looking at Minho disinterestedly. "His favorite is strawberry."

Minho squinted. Hyunjin snorted.

"Changbin's right, strawberry is indeed the correct answer. Sorry Minho~" Minho scoffed at Hyunjin's glee, not a hint of remorse in his eyes. "Okay, well, maybe this one will be a bit easier. What did you guys eat during your first date?"

Minho hesitated. One of the ongoing "disagreements" he and Jisung had throughout their time together was where exactly their first date was, with the two of them having completely different events in mind. But this was Jisung who was asking, so-

"We got churros and a hot dog."

" Bzzz! That is incorrect, Jisung has pizza as your first date meal!" Hyunjin slightly scooted away, as if realizing the death glare that Minho was sending his way, but the delight plastered on his face had seemed to only increase. "Wow Minho, I can't believe you don't know that-"

"Okay shut up Hwang," Minho reached over and flicked his knees, feeling slight satisfaction as Hyunjin dramatically grabbed it, wincing. "You all know that Jisung and I can't agree on the location of our first date, it was a 1/2 chance." He rolled his eyes at the overly theatrical face that Hyunjin was making, flicking him once again. "Just get on with it, next question."

"Fine, since you asked so nicely." Hyunjin pouted, rubbing at his knee. He continued, "Jisung's favorite 3racha song."

Minho smirked. "'Wow'." This time, Changbin smacked his arm. "Okay oww sorry, it's 'For You'!"

"Is that your final answer?" Minho nodded, rubbing his shoulder and glaring in Changbin's direction. "Well, should have kept with your original one, since that's what Jisung said." This time, it was Changbin looking incredulously over, as he slid next to Hyunjin and peeked on the paper.

"There is no way- oh damn he really did write that." Changbin squinted suspiciously. "Damn Jisung, I thought we had a mutual agreement to never bring up 'Wow' again."

"Hey now, it's a good song!" Minho stuck his tongue out before throwing his hands up in a mock defensive stance against Changbin. "I'm sure you'll find your princess Fiona someday- okay okay I'll stop what's the next question Hyunjin- "

"Uhh," Hyunjin scrambled for his paper, reading it just as Minho pushed Changbin off of him. "Jisung's favorite color."

"It's red."

"He..." Now Hyunjin was the one to go into defensive mode, scampering back even more. "...said it was the color of your eyes-"

"My eyes are fucking brown!" Minho exploded in annoyance, smacking at the floor where Hyunjin was sitting two seconds ago. "The same as almost 80% of the world's eye colors! Does he want me to get these right?"

"Don't hate the messenger, Jisung was the one who wrote these." Hyunjin slightly winced at the scowl Minho sent his way. "Anyways! I'll move on. Umm... though, next question. Which one of your dance choreography does Jisung like best."

"Excuse you, he should like all of them equally."

"That's not an answer."

"You better accept it as one, all my choreography is top tier level and he shouldn't play any favorites." Minho crossed his arms, daring Hyunjin to say otherwise. "What, what was Jisung's answer?"

Hyunjin chuckled nervously. Minho saw the same look on his face. "Um, the 'Dawn' choreography."

"I stand by my words. I said all my choreography, so technically I got this right."

"I... that's not how it works- hey don't take it out on me it's not my fault that Jisung has this weird idea of romance or whatever ahh Minho that actually hurts-"

"Just give him the damn point Hyunjin, he's got none so far and we can't let him fail that miserably." Changbin finally cut in tiredly, sighing as he looked between the two of them, who had started to play wrestle (though, in Hyunjin's case, Minho was winning). Plucking the paper out of Hyunjin's hands, he scanned downwards for the next question. "Okay Minho, stop pulling at Hyunjin's hair and listen up. The place that Jisung wants to visit with you."

Minho paused. Hyunjin took his chance and wrestled out of Minho's arms, hiding behind Changbin, but Minho could care less, a fond smile starting to appear on his face.

"Maybe I'll go to New York next year instead and you can show me around-"

This answer, Minho knew for sure.

"It's New York. He wants to visit New York with me." Hyunjin grabbed the paper from Changbin and checked the answer, scoffing slightly.

"Finally got one right." Minho rolled his eyes at Hyunjin's sarcastic tone. He still frowned however, starting to feel slightly nervous. Regardless of how ridiculous the questions and their answers were, it didn't change the fact that he was well on his way to not finishing this task, and the smug grins on both Changbin and Hyunjin's face told Minho that they were more than happy to let Minho fail this early on. He groaned slightly to himself. Time to pull out the big cards .

"Okay, question seven. Where did the two of you guys go for your first-"

"Let's make a deal Hyunjin." he cut in. Hyunjin looked up at Minho, unimpressed.

"Really Minho? If you don't know where you went for your first anniversary I'm really going to be disappointed-"

"Shut up, I know when it is." Minho cut in. "But I already know my chances of getting 50% right is probably low considering the absolutely ridiculous questions and answers so far, and I really don't have the time to sit here and over analyze what exactly Jisung's chaotic brain would have answered. So like I said, let's make a deal."

"Please, there's nothing you can offer me that'll make me give you the clue without finishing-"

"I have Seungmin singing videos." Hyunjin froze, and Minho could see his eyes quivering, the same look he has whenever he is conflicted.

"B-big deal, I've been to all his performances, I have videos of him performing-"

"Yeah but this was one of his practice videos, he needed someone to film it for his record project he's doing..." Changbin let a slight scoff at this, and Minho smirked, knowing he had successfully reeled Hyunjin in. Seungmin was notorious about not letting anyone (or rather, not letting Hyunjin) see him when he was in the practice studio - claiming that he wanted everyone to only see the best version of himself and not the hard work that led up to it. For the most part, everyone respected this. But Minho also knew that Hyunjin lived for those moments when he could see the rawness of Seungmin's vocals, hear all of Seungmin's passion and drive in the moments leading up to his actual performances. For reasons still unbeknownst to Minho, Hyunjin lived for the times when Seungmin would let Hyunjin see his practices, and had a growing collection of Seungmin vocal clips and mp3 files on his phone. Felix liked to joke that the day Seungmin made his official debut, Hyunjin would hold the title of his biggest fan and probably open up his first fanclub. Minho didn't doubt it.

"Well, if you thought you could bribe me with that, then you would be right, except Jisung already promised me clips from Seungmin's tryouts for the spring show - so your loss." Hyunjin sat back, crossing his arms as if daring Minho to try again.

"Anyone else slightly weirded out that we trade Seungmin singing videos like this," Changbin muttered under his breath. Both Hyunjin and Minho ignored him.

"Okay, well, remember that time we were supposed to go to karaoke but you couldn't make it? Guess who got a bit excited that night and was singing some got7 songs~"

"B-big deal, when we go karaoke again -"

"He was dancing too." Minho finished, leaning back in triumph. Next to him, Changbin let out an audible curse.

"Damn it Hyunjin don't give in-"

"I-I can just ask Felix or Jeongin if they g-got it on video-"

"Please, Jeongin is the most technologically illiterate out of all of us, and Felix isn't going to betray his bestie like that. Me, on the other hand? I'll gladly sell out my friends to get what I want." And face Seungmin's wrath later on, he thought to himself. Oh well. What has to be done, must be done.

Minho could see Hyunjin's eyes quivering even more. Hook, line, and -

"Damn it fine, I'll take your stupid trade." Sinker. "But you have to do something first." Or not.

"Seriously Hwang, he was dancing to Lullaby-"

" Listen, just do this for me so I don't feel a thousand shades of guilt for allowing you to sell out both my best friend and the literal love of my life." Minho huffed, but sat back, crossing his arms.

"Okay, so Jisung gave me one last question, said that on the off chance you didn't get half of them right, I could give this one to you as a hail mary pass. If you can answer this correctly, I'll take the Seungmin videos and give you your next clue." He frowned. "Damn, that makes me sound so bad."

"All for Lullaby, am I right." Minho grinned. Hyunjin sighed. "If it makes you feel better, he did Eclipse too." Changbin rolled his eyes at both of them.

Hyunjin looked conflicted for a moment, before shrugging it off. "What can I say, I'm an easy man to please." He took another piece of paper from his pocket.

"First thing Jisung ever said to you." Changbin groaned.

"Come on, if Minho can't even remember their anniversary, what makes you think he'll remember the first thing Jisung said to him-"

"I know what it is." Changbin and Hyunjin both blinked at Minho. Sitting back, Minho smiled gleefully.

"It was the day of the solo tryouts during Changbin and my freshman year, when you and Jisung came to visit our school, right?" Hyunjin nodded, amazement in his eyes. Sending a mental apology to both Seungmin and Jisung, Minho continued:

"Well, the first thing Jisung ever told me was-"

◄◄

Minho was - to say the least - feeling nervous. Looking around the room, everyone else of the two dozen or so students here for tryouts were already warming up or going through their routines, but he still couldn't bring himself to do the same.

It was pretty ridiculous, considering Minho had been to so many dance competitions before, faced many opponents during these meetups, and even won first at a good portion of them. This simple school tryout should have been a breeze for him. But being the only freshman trying for the solo at their end of the year dance showcase, a position typically given to seniors, was a whole new ballpark. He could feel all the others stare at him, and hear the whispers around of what chance he even had, or why someone like him would even bother to try out.

"Where the hell are you Changbin," Minho muttered under his breath, his eyes darting to the door in search of the other freshman. Changbin had promised to come by and show his support, and, as much as Minho hated to admit it, he really needed him right now.

A familiar - two familiar faces finally appeared at the doorway, Minho's heart leaping at the sight of both Changbin and an upperclassman they had befriended earlier that year, Chan. Chan spotted Minho and waved, making his way towards Minho, but Changbin was still searching the room, before his eyes widened in recognition and he raced towards... the opposite direction of Minho.

"Some friends of Changbin's are here to see the tryouts, he's just going over to greet them now." Chan answered his unanswered question, grinning brightly at Minho. True to his word, Changbin was talking to two boys, hands waving animatedly in his and Chan's direction. "They're incoming freshmen he knew from middle school, and I think one of them is joining the dance program, so they came by to see some of what he'll be doing next year."

Minho sighed. It was one thing to embarrass himself in front of a group of seniors who would be leaving the school anyways, but a majority of the spectators did seem to be new students, here for a glimpse of their school life to come. This just meant Minho could quite possibly leave a humiliating legacy of himself for the new students - or rather, an up-close exhibition of why you should never audition for a solo part as a freshman.

He glanced back at Changbin and his friends. The two's backs were turned towards Minho, but from his viewpoint, he could see both Changbin and the raven-black haired one were teasing the blonde over something. After a minute more or so, the trio seemed to come to an agreement, before walking towards him and Chan.

"Hey Minho," Changbin nodded towards him, before waving lazily towards the two that followed. "These two newbies I have here are Hyunjin," - the raven haired boy waved brightly at him - "and Jisung." Unlike his friend, Jisung merely nodded in acknowledgment, halfway hidden behind Hyunjin with his cap pulled down low.

"I've seen your videos on YouTube, I'm such a big fan," Hyunjin gushed, his eyes sparkling with excitement. "I'm an incoming dance major, so hopefully we can do collabs or performances together in the future? Your style is so amazing, I'd love to learn from you!"

Minho smiled at Hyunjin's praise and nodded in agreement, but inside his stomach was turning even more.

Chan looked around the room, whistling at the growing number of spectators. "Wow, there's a whole lot more people than I thought there would be. Sana said JYP himself was going to be coming to the tryouts, guess that might be true." Hyunjin perked up at this as he scanned the room, but Minho looked away instead, Chan's words not at all helping with his nerves.

"Hey," Minho blinked, as the blonde - Jisung - came to his side. He noticed the red cheeks and how Jisung was still avoiding Minho's eyes completely, but his mouth was pursed in determination. "Umm... I... you look nervous." He winced. "Sorry, didn't mean to say that."

"It's fine," Minho smiled softly. The other three were deep in another conversation, so Minho angled himself to look Jisung in the eye. He wasn't sure why Jisung was acting so shy around him, but the momentary distraction from everyone else in the room was welcome.

"Y-you're going to do fine though!" Jisung blurted out, his wide eyes growing even more. Minho chuckled softly.

"And how would you know," he teased. "I thought Hyunjin was the dance major who watched my videos." Seeing Jisung blush even harder made Minho smile wider.

"W-well, I-I mean, Hyunjin said you were really good a-and honestly Hyunjin is a good dancer himself so if he says something like that- like that I I mean I would assume it's true and-"

Minho felt his heart leap, but not in the same nervous manner as before. He wasn't sure what it was with Jisung, but despite this being their first meeting with each other, Jisung's roundabout way of reassuring Minho was working. Watching the boy sputter out his explanation was honestly cute, and Minho found himself grinning as Jisung kept rambling on.

"-and I mean I think he might have tried to show me a video before but I'm sorry I can't remember if I saw it or not-"

"Well, I guess you'll have to watch my dance videos before making such bold statements," Minho cut in. Jisung turned away embarrassed, and Minho found himself slightly frowning as the other closed himself off. He impulsively reached out and grabbed Jisung's wrist, drawing Jisung's attention back towards him.

"But really, thanks," he said softly, searching Jisung's face for any signs of discomfort. Jisung still had on a timid look, but was listening still, his own eyes darting between Minho's face and the hand around his wrist. "It... It means a lot to me that you think I'll do well, even if you're just saying it to make me feel better."

"I... I'm not." Jisung replied, smiling weakly. "It... It's the truth. I mean yeah, I may not have ever seen your videos or know what you're planning to perform today, but I do know that you probably spent hours trying to perfect your performance, probably went through all the steps so many times over in your head. I mean, it's super cliche to say as long as you worked hard your efforts will show, but it's really true. So that's why I think, no wait, why I'm s-sure you'll do well." Jisung faltered off at the end, averting his eyes from Minho's and biting his lip nervously.

"S-sorry, I p-probably said too much, especially since we just met..."

Minho didn't answer, instead just taking in everything that Jisung was saying. Despite the generic message behind Jisung's words, it was the sentiment that really got to Minho. He had heard the same words of "you'll do fine" and "all your practice will show in your performance" many times before, but hearing it from Jisung was completely different. It might have been the wide-eyed look Jisung was giving the floor right then, or how Minho could see Jisung's hands still shaking in Minho's loosening grasp, but Minho had never felt such genuinity from anyone before, and for the first time in a long time, Minho found himself truly believing Jisung's words. Because it was true. He had practiced long for this moment, and deserved to be at the tryouts just as much as everyone else.

And suddenly, in that moment, Minho knew that despite this only being their first meeting without the promise of more, Minho wanted so badly to know more about Jisung, to have a relationship that would extend past just having a mutual friend in Changbin. Because from just their few moments alone to speak together, Minho never had felt so comfortable around someone else before, felt so reassured or comforted in such a nerve-wracking atmosphere.

In a moment of bravery, Minho touched Jisung's hand again, bringing the other's attention back to him.

"Thank you." he said simply, but hoped his face could convey the intent of his words, show Jisung his hand of friendship that he was offering, and how Minho was hoping for Jisung to accept. His eyes searched Jisung's face for the answer.

If the shy but sincere smile Jisung returned back was an indication, Jisung not only saw Minho's unspoken question, but wanted the same.

(Minho didn't end up getting the spot, the solo going to a senior as expected. But he still performed his best, giving his all and showing the result of his hard work. No one threw dirty looks his way, or sent whispered snide remarks behind his back, and Minho still left with his dignity attached, a smile on his face, and Jisung's number in his phone.)

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Han Jisung's Absolutely Extraordinary Prom Scavenger Hunt! - Chapter 1 - Anonymous - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Of all the reactions he could have possibly gotten when Minho decided to ask Jisung to prom, hearing "You're not allowed to ask me!" was the last response he would have ever expected.

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As Jisung's golden eyes meet Minho's, crinkling with the smile that has only been growing this entire evening, that warm feeling returns with a rush to the pit of his stomach. It's all because they're here-in a fancy restaurant they don't visit often-and they're here together. Minho can sit across from his favorite person in the world and stare shamelessly as Jisung animatedly tells him about that ginger cat they had over in the clinic earlier today.

To be fair, he doesn't really know why they are actually in and not on their couch trying out one of the new recipes he has found on some blog that could definitely make the Top 10 Inspiring Mom Blogs That Will Change Your Life list.

It's not that he doesn't like it-Verona is a nice place, with big windows overlooking the street, quiet conversations, delicious food he could commit a crime for, and lights that make the honey shade in Jisung's eyes pop up. They just don't usually go out on weekdays, not after hours of work, not without a special occasion. And, even if Jisung actually got a pay raise, Minho doesn't remember them ever celebrating promotions like this.

He has been on the edge of his seat for the entire night, waiting, and waiting for something that definitely isn't coming. Jisung probably just wanted to spend a nice evening together, since they haven't had much time to do that lately. Minho has been told before that he does, indeed, read too much into things. So he's trying his best to just enjoy the sight in front of him.

Minho isn't going to complain, but he thinks Jisung might be actually up to something; he orders panna cotta completely unprompted, and it's suspicious only because he knows well that it's Minho's favorite dessert; Jisung usually showers him with sweets when he wants something. Minho just needs to figure out what exactly.

"You could, you know, come in to bring me coffee and accidentally do it while Pluto is being checked up. Pictures don't do him justice. I swear, you need to see him," Jisung coos, taking a sip of his blackberry wine and clearing his throat.

Minho swings his spoon in the air as his elbow is propped up on the table. "Don't you think it's quite unfortunate to name a cat after a cartoon dog?"

"Come on, you named our cat Doongie. You're not allowed to speak."

Minho lets out an overdramatic gasp. The spoon he has been holding falls to the ground when he forgets he's holding it while trying to point an accusatory finger at Jisung. Minho holds back the groan only because they're in public; he reaches to grab it but his boyfriend is quicker.

"I'll get it."

Minho lets him stand up and drop to the ground even though the goddamn spoon is closer to him. While Jisung is taking his sweet time getting it back, he reaches for his glass of wine to take a swig. He could be downing an entire bottle if they were at home now.

When he turns to look at Jisung again-why would picking up a piece of cutlery from the floor take so much time?-Minho almost chokes.

He finds Jisung kneeling on the ground, looking up at him like he's been trying to get his attention. Minho's head spins and he grips the edge of his chair a little too tightly. It's only when Jisung flashes a grin that Minho comes back to his senses.

He notices the spoon, notices the mischievous glint in Jisung's eyes, notices the way they study Minho's face, trying to read past the facade he has put up. Jisung definitely knows what he's doing, knows how it looks to everyone-both Minho and the people casting curious glances their way.

Minho should have known better than to be so hopeful but, with a golden medal in overthinking, he has been leading himself on for the entire evening. Jisung is doing it on purpose, clearly to elicit a reaction out of him.

They have played those games before and it ended up with them dating, moving in together and adopting a cat. It can't go wrong, can it?

Minho musters up an equally playful grin, even though his heart is hammering in his chest, and takes the spoon with a "thanks, darling", watching the sparkles in Jisung's eyes intensify.

Jisung's knees crack when he stands up and, usually, Minho would make fun of him, saying he won't be able to climb trees and save kittens if he doesn't at least stretch regularly, but this time he remains silent, lets him slip back into his chair with a soft smile on his face.

Despite Jisung picking up where he has left off, sharing bits and pieces of his day and complaining about having to deal with dense people who don't understand that you should not cut your cat's fur just like that, Minho finds himself coming back to the moment he saw Jisung kneeling down and thinks that he wouldn't mind.

If Jisung proposed, Minho wouldn't mind.

It's a scary thought-they might have been dating for four years now, might have been living together for a half of that and might have a cat, but marriage is a different thing. Minho has never asked what Jisung thinks about tying the knot-it just somehow never came up because they're both content with how things are. But maybe... maybe Minho wants more now.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

It's not often that their schedules align perfectly for them to have something more than a quiet evening in the park nearby, but when they do, Minho packs snacks, Jisung gets the car ready and they escape the city.

But those precious days, when he can get away from everything and walk through a beautiful town, hand in hand with his favorite person in the world, are something else. Minho doesn't ever feel as happy as when Jisung drags him to some stores just because he saw some funky sunglasses on the display, when he complains that the iced americano they bought before is going to freeze his hand and make it fall off, when he sees some peacock sculpture in the park and makes Minho take a hundred photos of him with it.

Minho kind of wishes they could take Doongie along, but he guesses their cat has it nice in Changbin and Hyunjin's apartment next door. They could never trust him to stay home alone for longer than a few hours (Minho remembers that one time they assumed their little angel wasn't capable of doing anything bad while they were gone and came home to find plants thrown off the windowsill; they still feel bad about leaving Doongie alone-he must have felt really lonely, so now they make sure someone catsits him) and Doongie hates travelling by car. Minho thinks they might have to make it up for him and get him some snacks on their way back home.

"I heard there's a good cafe a few streets from here," Jisung says, swinging their joined hands back and forth as they walk through the park.

There are still a few days left until Spring officially begins, but March has a way of being quite a sunny month. A jean jacket and Jisung's fingers slotted with his are enough to keep Minho warm when a chilly breeze blows through his hair from time to time.

"Aha, do they-by chance-sell the best cheesecake in the city?"

Minho can only grin when Jisung sends him a look. He won't tell him about how he looked up nice places to visit last evening, hoping to find something that would satisfy his partner's sweet-tooth. Judging by Jisung's face, though, it's safe to assume he realizes.

"Ah, love, did you try to look for a nice place to eat?"

Of course he realizes. There's no one else in the world that can read Minho this well.

Jisung is... special. Minho has a hard time finding another word to describe him; a combination of handsome, funny, interesting, caring, ambitious, clever, thoughtful and at least a thousand more adjectives hasn't been put into one word yet.

Jisung is one of a kind. It's something Minho has known since the very day they met, a little over five years ago, in the park near their apartment. Minho has an awful memory but that day might as well be engraved in his mind from how many times he has thought back to that sunny afternoon.

Minho was crouching down beside the cat the next second. Stretching out his hand, the animal didn't even want to sniff it; it just tried to move away mewling. His heart thumped, and he quickly grew even more worried.

"Oh, come on, baby," he muttered, not really knowing what to do. There was no one else here, and Minho just couldn't take the sight of the cat hurting. It seemed like its leg was wounded. "It's gonna be alright, don't move. Please, just don't move."

Minho was about to reach for his phone and google where the closest veterinary clinic was when a voice snapped him out of thoughts.

"Hey, is your cat hurt?"

A boy with a bag slung over his shoulder stood on the path Minho had gone off, brows furrowed in clear worry.

"It's not my cat. I just found it here and-I didn't want to move it just so I don't make things worse or-"

The stranger came closer, nodding, and carefully crouched down. "It's good that you didn't," he said. When the cat mewled again, clearly even more scared now that there were two people surrounding it, he scanned its body with his gaze. "It's alright. We'll help this buddy here. I think it got attacked. You know people walk their dogs here? Maybe..."

The stranger heaved a sigh, running fingers through his hair. Minho didn't know why his eyes became glossy but, with the boy's hand timidly travelling to his thigh in a comforting gesture, the world became clear again.

"I'm a vet major. Don't worry we'll help it."

Minho held back a huff of irritation. "You're just a college student. What if it-?"

"Hey," he said, eyes darting between the poor cat and Minho. "I know. We just need to keep it safe until a vet comes to help. I'll call the clinic. I know them, I'm doing an internship there, I'm sure someone will quickly come to get it, alright? Don't worry."

Minho nodded, still hesitant, but the stranger was already standing up to get his phone. As he was talking to the vet, he kept casting worried glances Minho's way. Or, rather, the cat's.

Sighing, he decided to give it another try. Slowly reaching out to the whimpering kitten, Minho put one of his fingers on its belly, hoping to convey that he wasn't going to harm it.

"We'll help you, baby. Just hang on a little longer," he mumbled, surprised that the cat didn't try to get away this time. Maybe it understood that neither of them wanted to hurt it. Minho hoped that was the case.

Looking to the side, he saw the stranger crouching down to pick something up. With his brows furrowed, he ended the call and approached Minho again.

"I found a collar," he said, reaching his hand out towards Minho to show him. It was pink and glittery and had a charm. "If it belongs to this baby... let's hope it does."

"There's a phone number. We should call it," Minho pointed out, still delicately rubbing the cat's belly with his fingers.

"Thank heavens it got undid."

Minho didn't want to think what could have happened if the collar had stayed on.

"What did the vet say? Is someone going to come here?"

The stranger (though Minho thought he might have not been that much of a stranger now) nodded, watching the cat with worried eyes. "Yeah, Chan isn't on his shift now but he has a car and is nearby, so... he'll come."

It was a weight off Minho's shoulders. He couldn't fully relax, not with a wounded animal right next to him that still needed help. The kitten seemed to have calmed down, but it was clearly still in a lot of pain. He could only hope that the Chan guy would show up quickly.

"Uh... I'm not leaving, by the way. Not until I know everything's fine," Minho said.

The firm tone was unnecessary-the stranger's gaze softened as his lips curled up in a slight smile. "I'm not either. We'll find the owner and things will be alright, so you don't have to worry. The clinic is really good so our buddy will be taken care of well."

Minho nodded but, even when his new companion looked down to coo at the poor kitten, he couldn't tear his eyes away. He doesn't know what had him trusting a stranger then; maybe it was the desperation and helplessness, maybe the honest eyes and gentle hand slowly taking his trembling one.

"I'm Minho," he said then, because names just didn't seem important before. But, with how he had started to hope it wasn't the last time he would be seeing this guy, Minho thought he didn't want to be strangers.

The boy muttered Minho's name under his breath and then once again, a little louder, as if trying it on. Minho liked the way it sounded coming from his mouth.

"I'm Jisung," he said and one warm smile was enough to ease all of Minho's worries.

Chan turned out to be another intern in the clinic (and it was actually owned by his parents). When he came, he had a wooden board in hand and a determined look on his face. Minho could only watch as he tried to help the kitten relax and it was quite surprising how quickly the animal trusted him.

He and Jisung delicately moved it onto the board to stabilize the cat while it was being transported to the clinic, but not without more pained mewls. Minho honestly felt like crying then, he didn't even know this cat but he got attached already and it hurt that an innocent soul got hurt.

Chan handled the board-the makeshift stretcher-with care, all this time talking to the animal to stop it from getting scared again. Minho didn't think they would let him into the car, but Chan ushered him and Jisung into the backseat of his Range Rover, entrusting the kitten to their safekeeping.

Once they got to the clinic, Minho knew the cat was in good hands. It left his sight as soon as they got there, with Chan taking it behind closed doors, but he felt much lighter now that the cat was actually getting professional help.

Jisung stayed by his side all this time, even when he was calling the number from the collar. It turned out they were right and it belonged to the kitten-a girl said she had been walking as usual and her cat got spooked, running away. She had tried to look for it-for Dallie-everywhere but just couldn't find her. When they told her Dallie got hurt and is in a veterinary clinic, she promised to be there in a few minutes.

Dallie left the clinic a few hours later with her leg bandaged and definitely tired. Her owner-Ryujin-had been crying since the moment she had pushed the front door open. Minho had found himself sitting right next to her, patting her back in support, reminding that her cat was going to be alright.

It stung a little when he had to watch Dallie go, just because he had gotten attached to a cat that wasn't his. That's why-among of ten thousand different reasons-Minho couldn't be a vet; he would just want to keep all the cute animals with himself.

When he voiced that thought out to Jisung, he laughed and said Minho had been right, that it was something he was still struggling with, too. The waiting room in the clinic felt silent then and Minho thought it was his time to go. He had missed more than one class, but it didn't really matter when a kitten's life had been saved.

He was standing up, when Jisung jumped to his feet, too, and scratched his neck, clearly timid.

"Uh, are you maybe free now?" he asked.

Minho was kind of taken aback-by the question, by the hopeful look on Jisung's face, by the way he was nodding before he even got to think it through.

"Yeah, yeah, I am. Do you wanna get coffee? It's been a tiring day. I could use some energy boost."

The smile that Jisung flashed him then is still just as vivid in Minho's memory, even five years later, even after he has seen millions of Jisung's grins now, even when Jisung is right beside him, smiling just as prettily.

Minho leaves Jisung's teasing question without an answer, but Jisung doesn't seem to have expected one, either-he takes out his phone, trying to operate it with his left hand while the other is joined with Minho's. He's struggling but still doesn't want to let go. It's sweet.

"I have it saved in the maps app. It's pretty close from here," he says and, even when his eyes are fixed on the screen of his phone, Minho can't help but watch and smile.

They are way past the stage of embarrassment and tip-toeing, but when Jisung catches him staring, it feels like butterflies swarming in his belly; something he now knows is love in its purest form takes over him and Minho squeezes Jisung's hand a little tighter. And Jisung knows what it means-those five years of friendship have given them the ability to read each other like this.

It's the shoulder kisses and Jisung's hands on his hips, moving him just an inch to the side while they're brushing their teeth in the evening; it's Jisung humming a soft tune and being pressed together closer than usually after a particularly hard day; it's doing the most mundane things and being happy because they get to do it together. It's the tender touches, gravitating towards each other like magnets, always finding at least a moment to spend together every day, taking things off each other's hands, kissing before leaving for work and coming back to open arms.

No one in the entire Universe feels like home to Minho. It's only Jisung-it's always Jisung.

It's a weekday, so the streets aren't busy when they step out of the park. Sunshine tickles Minho's face as they stroll down the sidewalk, taking their sweet time. Those days off are always this serene-no rush, no worries; it's just Minho and Jisung, like they are the only people left in the world.

"Are you sure we're going in the right direction?" Minho has to ask, because they have been walking for a while now and it doesn't look like they're nearing the town square. (Minho did his research, of course he did.)

Jisung drops his hand and they pause. He opens the maps app again, zooming in and out to find the cafe they want to go to, tracing the path with his finger.

"It should be right here," he mumbles under his breath.

Minho turns to look around because he has honestly been too focused on Jisung to be searching for some cafe. And if Jisung says it should be right here, then it better materialize before Minho loses his mind.

He squints. Nothing but houses, a convenience store and a florist's is here.

Minho sighs. "I can't see it anywhere. Are we even on the right street?"

Jisung doesn't reply. He's been awfully quiet for someone who just never shuts his mouth, so Minho whips his head around, worried that something has happened.

He almost loses his balance when he sees Jisung kneeling down on the pavement. His phone lies on the ground and, as if it's nothing, he reaches out to tie his fucking shoelaces.

Minho's heart races. He knows Jisung doesn't tie his goddamn shoes like this-he always stands on one leg and falls to the ground most of the time or holds onto Minho to keep his balance.

And when Jisung looks up frowning and asks what's wrong, Minho realizes his mouth is hanging open. He sputters like he's a highschooler again, not able to form a coherent sentence around his crush.

It's stupid and Minho thinks it might all be a misunderstanding. Ever since that one time in the restaurant, he can't get the image of Jisung proposing out of his head; it's not a fleeting thought-it keeps haunting him and the proposal is now something he actually wants. Every time he's wearing a ring, he avoids putting it on the fourth finger because now this spot is reserved for something that might not actually happen if he doesn't say anything.

Minho has always been just that-straightforward, with a clear vision of what he wants. But marriage is something delicate, it can't be discussed without utmost care. He needs time to figure out how to approach it. Just a moment.

And when Jisung breaks into a grin and his eyes sparkle in the early Spring sun, Minho knows he has been trying to get him again. His heart stutters dangerously but he can't even bring himself to be mad.

Jisung might be an annoying piece of shit that thrives off Minho falling on and on, but when he's smiling at Minho like that, when he's grabbing his hand and saying he thinks he sees the cafe right there, when he turns over his shoulder to glance at Minho as if to say "hold on a little longer, I'm working on it", Minho thinks he's alright with falling if it's right into his arms.

Jisung would never do anything to hurt him, he's not playing with his feelings or trying to upset him. It looks more like he's unsure what Minho thinks, if this is what Minho expects from him; testing waters, observing his reactions.

If the way Jisung keeps smiling and nudging Minho's leg under the table, even after they're seated in the cafe and munching on the chocolate cheesecake is anything to go by, Minho thinks he has made it clear that being with Jisung for the rest of his life is exactly what he wants.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Hyunjin's birthday party feels a lot like celebrating a national holiday. It's not that much of a party, actually (at least Minho wouldn't call it that)-just the eight of them and tons of food and alcohol, but with how loud they always are, it feels like Minho is back in college with at least seventy and not seven other people around him.

Colorful lights and a mirrorball that Jeongin has gotten out of nowhere, loud music flowing through the speakers, furniture moved to the side to make space for dancing, laughter and sudden crying about how they are all getting older. Minho is now used to it-usually it always starts and ends the same, with Jisung promising he will behave and with Minho having to drag him to their apartment next door a few hours later.

He doesn't mind, though. Jisung is fairly well-behaved when he's drunk, and he doesn't drink often either so, when birthday celebrations come, Minho lets it slide. And, besides, Jisung is extra cuddly then, so he isn't going to complain.

He might be staring out the window, swaying to the music, but volume being lowered doesn't escape his attention. Minho turns around, wondering if one of their neighbors has already called the police. Instead, he finds Felix climbing onto the kitchen island with Chan-not even trying to stop him at this point-holding his calves to help him from falling down.

With a glass in his hand, Felix clears his throat and beams. "I'm very sorry to say that," he announces, and yet he's still smiling, "but we're calling a truce because of a special occasion this year. No pranks and nasty stuff next week, babes."

The week leading up to April Fools' Day is hell to most of their friend group. It has been an on-going thing from even before Minho and Jisung started dating, some high-school tradition that Minho just doesn't understand.

Toothpaste on the door handle, blades removed from razors, salt instead of sugar, lab coat colored pink instead of white, and a lot of things that Minho would rather not remember. April Fools Fun (he still thinks they should have at least come up with a better name) is just a prank on a prank. It might be childish but it has brought them all closer.

After they started dating, their friend groups meddled together, bonding over mutual hatred for Minho and Jisung's displays of affection; some of them (read: Changbin and Hyunjin) have bonded more than the others.

Minho still remembers the confusion when he found Jisung buying tons of supplies and even bigger confusion when Jisung explained everything in great detail. He has learnt not to question strange things.

Well, he still wonders what the fuck was going on when he found Hyunjin trying to sneak into their apartment climbing from his own balcony to theirs in the dead of night a few years back. Hyunjin almost got stuck when he saw Minho awake and tried to run away. It was scary and Minho has never gotten up from bed at night since then. When April Fools' Fun starts, he wears earplugs and begs that no one will think it's a great idea to break into their apartment to exchange their couch for a cardboard box with nothing but a piece of paper inside (again).

It's the biggest celebration of the year (but not bigger than Hyunjin's birthday), so Minho doesn't believe the truce. No way.

Especially not with the way Felix lifts his glass and screams something about a toast. It's going to be something. And Minho needs to prepare-either ask Jisung (but it seems quite impossible Jisung will unveil the secret this time, even to him) or beg Changbin for some answers.

Feeling defeated already, Minho settles on watching Jisung for the rest of the evening, even when he's dancing with his friends and screaming lyrics of songs playing on the speakers like they're at some frat party and he needs to be this loud to be noticed in the crowd of blurred faces. Jisung always works hard, he deserves to relax with his friends like this.

Minho, on the other hand, doesn't want his head to feel like it's being cracked open tomorrow morning, so he sips on his glass of wine and eats snacks prepared by Felix (and if he just steals the plate and runs back to his apartment, who will notice?).

It's not like he isn't having fun-Minho has been just feeling drained for the past week and dancing and getting drunk isn't his priority right now. Honestly, he would rather curl up at home with Doongie (he has been leaving to check up on him every hour) and Jisung by his side and maybe watch some old TV series until he falls asleep. But he loves Hyunjin, and he can't just miss his friend's birthday party.

Minho is setting his glass down on the coffee table when Jisung rips away from Hyunjin, leaving him on the makeshift dance floor to wrap himself around Jeongin like a boa snake. He stumbles to where Minho is sitting on the couch and Minho wants to move so he can plop down, too, but Jisung kneels on the floor instead.

Resting his elbows in the space between Minho's thighs, he tries to stabilize his breathing. Minho smiles, reaching out to tangle his fingers in Jisung's hair.

Even when he's drunk, flushed and sweaty from the overenthusiastic dancing, Jisung is beautiful. He is always so mesmerizing. Minho takes a moment to just stare, though some pop song with mediocre lyrics blasting through the speakers doesn't make a good background to admiring art.

"Are you having fun, baby?" Jisung slurs eventually, nuzzling into Minho's hand, looking awfully a lot like Doongie. Minho is going to have to fight him the next time he says their child has taken everything after him.

Minho hums in response but he doubts Jisung can hear it with the music thumping in their ears. Before he gets to ask if Jisung is feeling sleepy-because he does look like he is, looking up with half-lidded eyes, barely keeping himself up, way past his usual amount of shots, and seemingly too tired to smile-the song changes to something Minho doesn't recognize but something that has Jisung snapping his eyes wide open.

He perks up, moving his arms around and swaying like he's dancing, even if he doesn't do it on the beat. If he keeps it up for longer than two minutes, Minho might believe he isn't as drunk as he seems.

But then Jisung opens his mouth again, and he sounds too sober, his words are too loud and clear to be just drunken gibberish.

"I want this song on fucking loop on our wedding."

Minho's hand stills where it's tangled in his hair but Jisung remains unamused, bopping his head. He seems relaxed, a complete opposite of Minho.

His heart jumps to his throat, hammering in a painful, unsteady rhythm, almost suffocating. If it weren't for Jisung's hand suddenly finding his, if it weren't for the glimmering eyes looking up at him, Minho would have died on the spot.

He doesn't know if Jisung meant to say it. And if he did, if his words are of any significance. Minho has no idea if it's something he can hold on to.

Before he can overthink it, Jisung stumbles, standing up, and reaches out his hand for Minho to hold. He nods towards the makeshift dance floor, slight smile playing on his lips, and it feels like he's doing it on purpose, suddenly asking to dance just to keep Minho's thoughts from straying into an ocean of worries.

It's not even something he should worry about-if Jisung says he wants a wedding, it's a good sign. Even if he's drunk and barely standing on his feet. But it's okay, he can stumble and lose balance. Minho will be there all the time to catch him before he falls.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Minho hates afternoon shifts.

Yes, waking up early in the morning can be just as awful but it means being home before Jisung, picking Doongie up from their friends' before he does, having the rest of the day for his family.

Starting work in the afternoon is lazing around and having too much time alone to spare and coming back home too exhausted to move. The only good thing is that Jisung always digs out a box of ice-cream from the refrigerator and cuddles Minho until he falls asleep with random episodes of an animal documentary playing in the background.

But he has to fill in for Momo since no one else is available. Their studio isn't keen on cancelling classes since every moment of practice is important to get better. And, even if Minho doesn't know Momo's group's current choreography, he will help as much as he can and supervise them, so the kids don't miss out on a few hours of classes just because she's absent.

Minho can do it. Jisung promised to cook tonight so he has something to look forward to; with the vision of a warm meal and even warmer arms of his partner, even the goddamn afternoon shift becomes a little more bearable.

He climbs the stairs, heading for the staff room to leave his things in his locker. With time to spare in the morning, he has fished out new clothes from the closet and changed at home.

His eyes linger on the framed pictures and certificates lined up along the sand-colored walls; every time he walks through the hallways of the studio, his chest fills up with pride. It's a legacy.

There's this one group picture from a competition a few years back that his friends still make fun of. While everyone else is looking into the camera, Minho's eyes are somewhere further to the side and his face is lit up with a wide smile. Minho remembers who he was looking at then-no one would let him forget-but he isn't embarrassed about it anymore.

It was one of the first competitions Jisung came to see (he hardly missed any after that) and Minho didn't even ask him to. When he saw him standing on the backstage with a bouquet and a sheepish smile, Minho felt like he won again. It was such a simple thing-just Jisung showing up to something that was important to Minho-and yet it meant the world.

Minho feels the same rush of happiness every time Jisung comes to the shows and competitions, even if Minho isn't the one on stage. "You're the best teacher they could ever have," he always says, and the kisses that come later taste extra sweet when they're laced with pride.

The staff room door is cracked open when he gets there. The lock was broken a few days ago and someone is yet to come and fix it, so they just don't close it to avoid getting stuck.

Minho is about to reach for the handle when he hears Jisung's name coming from the inside. He is definitely not the one to eavesdrop but he's curious, even more so that it's Hyunjin speaking.

"I just know that he's gonna go all in," Felix adds, and Minho can clearly hear the smile in his voice. "April is gonna be so fun this year."

He knew they weren't going to give up on April Fools' Fun. Minho just wonders why they decided to announce a truce, tricking the rest of them into thinking it's going to be a peaceful week.

If they are teaming up against them, Minho is going to either lock Jisung out on the balcony to freeze or strangle him with his bare hands. He can't end up eating salted cookies, getting scared by an airhorn glued to the wall, with hair dye in his shampoo, or-worse-with his hair shaved overnight. And if Jisung plans to go all in-whatever that means-it's going to be much worse than that.

Minho needs to watch him and prepare for whatever is coming.

When he eventually pulls the staff door room open, both Hyunjin and Felix whip around. They greet him like always, with big grins and a mug of coffee ready; they don't look worried about Minho having heard their conversation (it's not like he heard much, anyway) so he acts like he hasn't.

At least now he knows that the whole truce is just a cover up.

When Minho gets back home in the evening, he's even more tired than he thought he would. He doesn't know why-the kids were doing awesome in class and they seemed comfortable with him too, so he wasn't that mentally drained; his body is in an alright condition as well, though his back hurts when he moves his right shoulder, but it's nothing Jisung's delicate hands can't fix-but the feeling of exhaustion has crept up as the sky has begun to turn dark.

Maybe the small, insignificant troubles have been gathering for a while, waiting for a perfect moment to hit him all at once. It has happened before and will definitely happen in the future, but Minho has still yet to learn how to recognize when that exhaustion is coming.

As he pushes the front door open, he hears the soft music flowing through their apartment and feels lighter. Jisung must be too immersed in his world of music and cooking to hear him come in; maybe some other day Minho would scold him that he should either lock the door or be cautious when he's alone, but the sound of Jisung's voice makes him warm all over.

"I'm home!" he calls from the hallway as he's carelessly toeing his shoes off, eager to finally be close to Jisung and forget all the bad.

When he steps into the open area of the living room and the kitchen, Jisung is standing by the stove, head turned towards the entrance. He sends Minho a welcoming smile, glancing at something he has been stirring in the pot, and asks, "How's your day been?"

Minho doesn't reply, moving forward and closing the distance between them by wrapping his arms around Jisung's waist and resting his chin on his shoulder instead. Jisung eases, leaning back into the embrace and nuzzling his cheek against Minho's.

"Bad, then, I suppose?"

Minho sighs. "No, I'm just tired."

Jisung hums, turning the stove off. He puts the spoon down on the counter, so Minho moves to loosen the embrace but Jisung's hand on his stops him.

"No, let's stay like this for a moment," he says, and turns his head just a little to offer Minho a smile that makes him feel like he's falling in love over again.

Minho has never been a big fan of physical affection but with Jisung things are just different. Natural. He wants to be close because those hands touch him with love, those arms hold him like he's glass, and Minho can almost hear the way Jisung's heartbeat picks up when they are together.

Closing his eyes, Minho can finally focus on the amazing aroma of spice and shrimp in the air. As the steam hits his face, he lets out a content sigh. It's no surprise that it smells delicious, though. Jisung might not cook often but he does it like a pro when he's given a clear recipe (if he's told to improvise, he might burn the kitchen down).

"It's spicy," Minho points out.

Jisung hums, knitting his eyebrows together, like he's confused as to why Minho sounds surprised. "Uh... yeah? You like spicy food."

"But you don't."

With a click of his tongue, Jisung says, "It's not that I don't-Well, I set some aside before I added the spice so it's not a big deal. I just wanted to make something that you'd like."

Minho knows he tends to feel emotional during those particularly hard days, but the sudden wave of fondness crashes against him and all he can think about is how Jisung owns his heart.

"I love you," Minho says, pretending that his poor, weak heart isn't hammering against his ribcage, trying to break free, "but it smells incredible, please just feed me."

Jisung chuckles, moving away, and points to the cupboard so Minho can get the plates out. Their hands brush when Minho hands him one of the bowls and it's silly how they both look up with identical silly grins.

"Where's my baby demon?" he asks once they're sat by the table. "He should eat, too."

Jisung takes a spoonful of his mild shrimp soup before answering. "I'm afraid he's too busy in the bedroom."

Minho grins. "He's watching TV again, isn't he?"

"It's all because Changbin has the TV on all the time. If he hadn't been introduced to the concept of screens, he would have never gotten addicted. Kids these days," Minho scoffs. Shoving another spoonful of soup into his mouth, he almost moans at the taste. "Fuck, it's so good. You're incredible."

Jisung's ears heat up at the praise; Minho knows that he would blame it on hot food, so he doesn't point it out.

"What can I say? I'm a man of many talents," he says with a smug smile.

Minho decides not to tease him today. "Yes, baby, you are. And I'm so grateful to have you."

Jisung is clearly embarrassed and has given up on hiding it. He has been making Minho feel like a fool for the past weeks, driving him crazy with all the fancy restaurants and sentimental words whispered in the dead of night-it's quite adorable that such simple words get him so flustered.

"Why are you acting so surprised? Am I saying it too rarely?"

Jisung shakes his head. "No, no. I just-I just love you a lot. And I'm grateful to have you, too. Like... I can't imagine myself without you. I don't want to."

Minho's heart stutters as he reaches out to hold Jisung's hand over the table. With warmth coiling in his stomach and a smile on his face, he says, "No getting sappy while we're eating shrimp soup, baby."

Jisung snorts a chuckle, smacking Minho on the forearm. "You totally ruined the mood."

"I'm very, very sorry but your food is glorious, I just need to eat everything before I start showering you with my eternal love," Minho shrugs, putting on a straight face. It crumples with one look at Jisung's flushed cheeks.

"Eternal, you're saying?"

Minho hums. "Yeah. In this life, the next one, and in all that I have left. I will always love you."

Jisung is quiet for a moment too long. When Minho looks up from his bowl, he finds him staring with the fondest look he has ever seen. The sheer love catches him off guard; Minho has thought that what he always sees in Jisung's face is the most he deserves, but his love feels magnified by millions now.

It's usually the other way round-Minho getting flustered by all the romantic things Jisung says (and pretending he isn't most of the time; Jisung might be his partner but giving him smug satisfaction is a big no), so having Jisung blushing like this fills Minho with an unreasonable amount of pride.

"Fuck you," Jisung says, the contrast between his words and the way he's still looking at him making Minho laugh. "No getting sappy while we're eating shrimp soup."

"Okay, baby, just finish up so we can eat more of your delicious cooking. Did I see pad thai on the stove?"

Minho reaches out to wipe the corner of Jisung's mouth with his thumb and lets the conversation go, changing the subject. Jisung will definitely pick it up again when they are already tucked into bed, dozing off, to say something equally or even more mushy.

But now he's standing up to bring more food to the table and the fond look doesn't fade away from his face, not even for a second.

It feels like magic, the way Minho can forget about the exhaustion when he's with Jisung.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Usually, once the last week of March rolls around, Jisung is nothing but suspicious. Random parcels arriving at their door, evil laughter echoing through the apartment as the furiously scrolls through his phone. And he's always too excited to keep things from Minho. April Fools' Fun is totally top secret and yet he spills every single time.

But this year it's silent.

He goes to work and comes back, watches that true crime documentary that drops once a week, scrolls through his phone but always sticks it into Minho's face to show him some hilarious video he has come across. Nothing out of the ordinary.

The only things that could come across as questionable are the looks.

Minho knows he's the same-that he stares at Jisung like there's no one else in the room-but, somehow, it feels different. Magnified. He catches Jisung staring quite a lot, and most of the time he seems to be thinking. Very hard.

Minho can be pouring water over tea bags and Jisung comes just to put his hand over the one he's holding the kettle in, as if guiding him, as if Minho is just a child that can get hurt by being careless. It was weird at first, but Minho has grown to need Jisung's presence next to him during those mundane moments of his day.

Sometimes Jisung grabs his hand while they're watching television, lacing it with his own, and stares. Minho finds that a little suspicious but when he sends Jisung a look, he always gets a soft kiss pressed to the back of his hand.

Minho doesn't know what this sudden intensified wave of affection means, but he will cherish it and hope it lasts forever.

And hopes it's not just Jisung trying to do damage control before April Fools' Fun.

■ ■ ■ ■ ■

Minho awakens early in the morning with a soft kiss planted on his cheek. Saturdays are the only days he actually lets himself sleep a few hours longer since he doesn't work during the weekends anymore, so waking him up before noon comes close to a crime.

When he finally manages to open his eyes, Jisung is already closing the bedroom door. With a sigh, Minho reaches for his phone plugged into the charger and squints to see what time it is. Not right.

Minho rubs his eyes, remembering how numbers often get messed up when you're half-asleep, but the clock reads 8 in the morning once again.

Jisung should be in the clinic at 9 a.m. and he usually gets up twenty past 8. He was fully clothed when he was leaving and the strong fragrance Minho got him for Christmas lingers in the air.

Minho grows even more suspicious when the sleepy haze is lifted off his mind and he realizes it's April 1st. On any other day he wouldn't bat an eye, but April Fools' is something else.

He doesn't think it's worth sacrificing the hours of sleep he has left, though. Especially not when he hears the front door closing and then silence falling over the apartment. If Jisung has already left, depriving him of a few more minutes of his body heat, there's nothing Minho can do.

Just to be safe, he uses Jisung's shampoo and body wash when he takes shower later in the morning (or, rather, in the afternoon). Doongie is sleeping on the couch and, with a glance to his bowl, Minho makes sure he has enough food.

Everything seems normal.

In the kitchen, there's no glasses filled with water and set upside-down. The coffee Jisung has left for him doesn't taste funny and the waffles on the counter are still warm, carefully wrapped in tinfoil.

The normality is driving him crazy.

Hyunjin and Felix know their shit-if they said Jisung was planning something huge, then they were right. Minho hasn't had a chance to find out what exactly is this year's prank since nothing has happened during the past week, but it only serves to make him antsy.

He's just worried like that.

Minho spends a vast majority of his day blasting funky songs through the speakers and cleaning every corner of their apartment; stress-cleaning actually heals, and Minho is pretty damn stressed.

Jisung might be an adult, a very responsible one, but he tends to turn off the rational part of his brain when April Fools' Fun rolls around. Minho just doesn't want him to do anything stupid. He always has at least a vague idea of what's happening, but this year, strangely, he has been left in the dark.

He should have asked, but he didn't, so it's on him.

And Minho's list of questions grows when Jisung steps into their apartment a little past 3 in the afternoon, as he's sprawled on the couch, mindlessly watching reruns of some TV series. Jisung is back earlier than usual. Strange.

He props up on his elbow, narrowing his eyes, but Jisung comes closer, plops down on the couch next to him and swings Minho's legs so they're on his lap.

"What are you watching?" he asks with a smile.

Minho stares at him for a moment, trying to read his face and ending up with empty hands, before answering. "Nothing. Just trying to kill time."

"Oh? Wanna go out for a walk, then? We could take Doongie too."

Minho could use some fresh air. He nods, reciprocating Jisung's smile and swinging his legs over the edge of the couch to stand up.

He wants to ask what is going on, why he's acting so strange today, but he doesn't. He might end up going crazy, but April Fools' Day will end in a few hours so he won't have to worry anymore.

Minho isn't controlling and it's not like Jisung has to confess where he is at all times. Minho trusts him, too; he trusts Jisung with his own life. But he has been acting so fucking weird that Minho just doesn't know if he can actually manage to ignore it.

But he can try.

Minho actually doesn't have the strength to keep wondering. All he wants is a nice afternoon with his partner, and if he can have that without stupid pranks and games, he is going to enjoy every second.

Afternoons are still chilly, so they both slip into their jackets before leaving. Jisung cradles Doongie in his arms, turning to Minho to let him scratch under the cat's chin. His eyes glimmer in the artificial light of their apartment building hallway, and Minho can't wait to finally be outside, to see Jisung's eyes turn golden again.

They both agree it's better to have Doongie walking on his own only when they're in the park, where it's safe. For the time being, as they head for the greenery, the cat is purring, enjoying the fresh air just as much as them.

The park isn't crowded even though it's the weekend; Minho expected families with kids and dogs and couples basking in the setting sun, but it's just them and a bunch of people taking advantage of the unfolding Spring.

Jisung lets Doongie out of his arms then, glittery blue leash in his hand and Minho's in the other. Their cat, despite Minho calling him a baby demon most of the time, is an angel-at least when they go out.

Minho finds it strange how he doesn't feel the need to fill the silence when it comes to Jisung. Just being close like this, walking around the park with their kid, feels right. It feels like home.

It's easy to forget about everything else when all he needs is right here.

And yet, Minho can't help but notice the way Jisung just keeps glancing at his smartwatch-that he doesn't usually wear-and it makes the nervousness from before come back. He knows that Jisung will tell him what's been going on sooner or later, though; and it doesn't seem like a bad thing because he keeps smiling-grinning like a child, actually-so Minho tries his best not to worry.

Jisung squeezes his hand twice, snapping him out of thoughts. Minho blinks, sending him a questioning look but Jisung only smiles.

"What's got your mind so preoccupied? You've been zoning out a lot lately," he points out, swinging their hands.

Minho thinks it would be easy to ask now; it would be, but he has a feeling it's not the time for an answer. So he musters up a somewhat genuine smile and shrugs.

"Dunno. I've honestly been tired for the past weeks. Like... work-wise, mostly. I could use some vacation."

Jisung hums. "Do you think you could get at least a week off any time soon?"

"I mean, there will be a lot of kids signing up for summer classes so I won't be taking many days off then but it's quite peaceful now, so... maybe? Why are you asking?"

Jisung doesn't answer for a moment. He tugs on Minho's hand, leading him off the path, and clicks his tongue to get Doongie's attention. He's a quite smart cat and doesn't disobey, enjoying the detour.

Minho knows where Jisung is leading them, of course he does. They haven't been coming here lately, but all the memories are still just as fresh. The pond, hidden away in the further part of the park, is the place they-accidentally-met each other again, and declared it their spot after stumbling upon each other here many, many times without planning to.

"The clinic is doing well and there are interns coming in in the next few weeks so... we could get away for a little longer than usual? What do you think?"

Minho doesn't know why Jisung looks hopeful when their eyes meet again. They have gone on hundreds of vacations together but, with the way Jisung pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue, it feels different.

Minho's eyebrows shoot up. "I thought you meant a beach resort or something." Seeing Jisung puff out his cheeks-a clear sign of uncertainty that Minho has learnt over these years-he quickly adds, "But I'd love to. Of course. Anywhere with you."

Jisung beams at that, shoulders relaxing. Minho doesn't understand even more what's so special about vacation that could make Jisung tense.

When they get to the pond-it takes them more time than usual, with Doongie curiously sniffing everything around them-Minho stops in his tracks, tugging Jisung back.

With a blanket unfolded on the grass and fruit, pastries, snacks and a picnic basket on top, he thinks they might be interrupting something.

Minho's throat goes dry as he's being tugged towards the blanket. He doesn't know if he should have expected that-Jisung is a hopeless romantic (Minho is too, but he would never, ever admit it) but even he doesn't just prepare a picnic out of nowhere.

But Minho still flops onto the ground, looking around in amazement. Jisung has prepared all this just so they can spend good time together. Eating takeout on their couch would be enough, Minho would enjoy it just as much, but his chest feels warm when he looks at Jisung.

"What's the occasion?" he asks, when Jisung reaches for the wicker basket and takes out a bottle of Minho's favorite wine and two glasses.

"You've said it yourself that you've been tired," Jisung shrugs, glancing up and handing Minho one of the glasses to pour the blackberry wine. "So I wanted to... I don't know. Help you relax? Properly, because too much TV is not relaxing."

Minho decides to ignore his heart swelling, growing and growing, hoping that the sensation of it being close to exploding is just temporary. Instead, he whines. "Oh, come on. Doongie can watch TV all day and I can't?"

Jisung clicks his tongue, running fingers through the fur of Doongie curled up on the blanket. "Sometimes I have a hard time deciding which one of you is the real baby. Now that I think of it, it must be you."

Minho shoves a grape into his mouth to avoid spilling out that he is, in fact, Jisung's baby. Judging by the smug look on his face, Jisung doesn't need him to say anything-he already knows.

It's quiet for a moment. Minho sips on his wine, watching the ducks on the pond, propped up on one hand and enjoys the sun painted with orange and pink hues. He was right-the colors turn Jisung's eyes golden.

"Thank you for doing this," Minho says, turning his head to the side to look at him properly. The heart-shaped smile he receives is enough to make his own heart race, like he's a teenager again, and just being around his crush has him losing his mind. "I appreciate it a lot. It's-it's wonderful."

Jisung reaches out to brush the hair away from Minho's face and comes closer, just a little closer, to press their lips together in a sweet kiss.

They have done this a million times by now, and Jisung's mouth is familiar on his own, but he could never get tired. Especially not of the feeling that having Jisung close gives him. Every time, Minho is bursting with all the love for this man.

Jisung is everything he has never even dared to dream of. Everything, and more. Minho doesn't know what he has done to deserve him, but Jisung seems to love him just as much.

And when he smiles right into his mouth, Minho steals another wine-tasting kiss and moves away.

Jisung has really outdid himself-with the picnic, with the atmosphere, with every damn thing. Minho hasn't felt this carefree for a while now. And, just thinking about how it's Sunday tomorrow, how neither of them has to go to work and they have so much more time to spend together, Minho feels like he's dreaming.

Doongie doesn't like Jisung hovering over him to kiss Minho and stands up, just to knead Minho's thighs and end up curled up in his lap. Minho runs fingers through his shiny ginger fur (courtesy of Jisung and his vast vet knowledge) before turning to the side to grab one of the croissants laid on the porcelain plates.

The pastries have been calling his name since they came here, and he thinks they must have a fruit jam filling-they just smell like they do, and they smell good. And, apparently, taste just as delicious. He's going to have to ask Jisung where he got them.

Minho takes another sip of the blackberry wine, downing it, sets the empty glass down on the ground, and clears his throat.

When he turns to face Jisung again, to praise him for spoiling him with all the greatest sweets in the world, Minho finds him kneeling down with a velvet box in his hand.

He can't believe what he's seeing. Minho blinks; once, twice, a hundred times, but what is in front of him-who is in front of him-doesn't change.

Neither of them speaks; Jisung is just staring as Minho's heart drops to his stomach with crippling realization.

It's-no. This is much more than Jisung pretending to kneel down just to end up tying his shoelaces, more than making Minho's heart race with hope, more than that stupid grin and the "Ha! Gotcha!".

This time, Jisung has outdone himself and all his previous April Fools' pranks.

It stings, and the thought that Jisung isn't even saying anything makes everything much worse-he's just staring as Minho sits there with his mouth hanging open and tears welling up in his eyes. The goddamn ring glimmers in the setting sun, mocking.

Minho swallows the lump in his throat, not even bothering to mask the hurt expression.

"You're a fucking asshole," he breathes out, gathering Doongie into his arms and standing up, knees wobbly.

Jisung scrambles from the blanket, reaching out to stop him from leaving but Minho shakes out of his grasp.

"Wait, wait, hey!"

Minho doesn't wait. He just wants to fucking leave. This is too much. He has never thought Jisung would go as far just to prank someone. Everything good that has happened mere seconds ago comes crashing down to nothing as Minho rushes to get as far from him as he can.

What was he expecting? For Minho to laugh?

Minho scoffs, holding back a choked sob. For a moment, he forgets Doongie is in his arms but then the cat digs his claws into Minho's forearm and Minho is brought back to reality.

"I'm sorry," he whispers, loosening the embrace. "Sorry for squeezing you."

Doongie looks up at him with curious eyes, and it feels like he knows that Minho is not having the greatest time; he would have jumped out of his arms by now, but he stays in his place, letting Minho amble through the park.

He stops in his tracks, freezes at the sheer desperation in Jisung's voice when he's calling out his name. He has never heard him like this. And maybe he should ignore it, but the pathetic flame of hope that keeps his heart warm has him thinking.

It takes all of Minho to stop himself from dropping to the ground. He can't suppress the sob that rips out of his throat at the sight of Hyunjin and his perplexed expression as he's rushing towards Minho.

He's saying something but all Minho hears is the ringing in his ears. Blood rushing, heart thumping, a screech as if something has just blown up and Minho has been in the striking distance.

If he didn't have Doongie in his arms, Minho would just sit down and cry like a goddamn baby but he needs to get the cat into a safe place and himself, too. He thinks Hyunjin might be calling his name but Minho doesn't halt.

Walking as quickly as he can with tears streaming down his face and blurring his vision, he heads for the apartment, not daring to check if either of them is running after him. He would break down right here and now if he saw them following. Minho wants space and peace to think about what he has done to deserve this.

He must look ridiculous, with a cat in his arms, crying and running, but he can't even bring himself to care. Minho just needs to get home.

When the familiar building finally comes to his sight, he picks up the pace with the last remnants of his strength. He usually takes the elevator but this time Minho just needs to get inside his apartment quickly; holding Doongie close to his chest, he runs upstairs, panting like he has never during millions of his dance practices.

Minho is exhausted.

Unlocking the door with shaking hands after at least five tries, he pushes it and slams back close behind himself.

Maybe Jisung will come here after him, maybe he's already running, but Minho doesn't give a fuck. He's not as big of an asshole as Jisung-although he thinks he has all the rights to be petty-and doesn't lock the door, even though he could lock Jisung out and have him sleep on the goddamn floor mat. It wouldn't matter.

Minho drops Doongie off on the couch with a quiet apology and thankful pat on the head for being understanding. Then he heads for the bedroom, this time double locking the door.

When his face finally hits the pillow, Minho lets it all out.

He could take anything, really; any pranks and jokes and much more than that. But what Jisung did is too much to handle.

Minho would have played it off as a joke if Jisung hadn't been feeding him with false hope for the past weeks. He would bring it up sooner or later, asked what Jisung thinks of marriage, and maybe they would figure something out.

Jisung knows that Minho has never really wanted to get married, hating the extravagance of such a simple thing as joining people together and that everyone seems to think your life is miserable if you don't tie the knot, but something shifted when they started dating. A lot of things have simply changed throughout these five years they have known each other.

Minho has found someone he wants to spend his entire life with.

Tears roll down his cheeks, wetting the freshly changed sheets, and Minho can only cry his eyes out and hope it will help him ease the pain that is making his heart swell, throb painfully like has just been stabbed and it's trying to beat, beat, beat to bring him back to life.

Minho wishes he could disappear.

Some part of him knows he's being ridiculous, but what Jisung did hurts. He's an adult and he can take care of things; Minho will talk to him sooner or later, will ask if Jisung was having fun stomping on his heart, will demand an explanation why, after all these years, he thought it was a good idea to hurt him.

It's just cruel to grab Minho's heart like this, squeeze and shake and rip it into pieces and expect it to beat the same. You just-you don't play with people's emotions like this. Especially not when you love them.

Minho doesn't know how much time has passed but when he hears the front door open, his mouth is dry and head is throbbing, only magnifying the already overwhelming emotions that have taken over him.

Hasty footsteps echo through the apartment before everything goes silent again.

And then Minho hears him say "oh, Doongie" and another wave of tears comes crashing down.

Jisung's voice is much louder now, clearly directed at him, wherever he is. Minho doesn't respond; he swallows around the painful lump in his throat but it doesn't go away.

"Minnie? Are you here?"

He can't do this.

Minho presses his face further into the pillow, muffling the cries that keep slipping out of his throat, no matter how hard he tries to hold them back. He doesn't cry often-mostly because he has no reason to, and he's not five years old anymore, he has learnt to keep his shit together and deal with things in other ways. But this-Minho just can't stop himself.

The bedroom door handle moves and Minho stills where he's curled up in their bed. He knows Jisung is well aware that he's inside. He hates how thin the walls are, how he can hear the shuddering breath Jisung lets out and how mad it makes him feel because Jisung has no fucking right to be upset right now.

And he doesn't want to. Not now, at least. He needs time to think, to go back to that goddamn park and analyze every single thing he remembers before he even opens his mouth.

Minho sees Jisung's silhouette in the tinted glass of the door and watches his hand drop by his side in defeat.

"I don't understand what's wrong but-I will, alright? I will hear you out. Just... talk to me. You don't have to let me in, just talk to me," Jisung says, and it's almost a whine with the way his voice cracks. When Minho doesn't say anything, his head drops. "Are you-Are you at least all right? Please, I just want to know if you're safe. I will literally break down the door if you don't answer."

Minho debates whether it's not better to grab his phone and send Jisung a text, but it sounds ridiculous even in his head.

His voice is hoarse when he says, "I am."

Hence, Minho is confused.

"I'll be here all the time unless you want me to leave, okay? Just-Just don't shut me out, please. When you're ready, I'm right here," Jisung adds; his voice, besides the obvious desperation, is laced with persistence.

And Minho just can't understand what Jisung is fucking saying. Hear him out? It's him who should be explaining himself, confessing what the hell he was thinking.

He isn't going to jump into anything head-first, no matter how badly he needs the answers. It still hurts, and seeing Jisung's face might only make things worse.

Minho takes a deep breath, props up on his elbow and reaches for the bedside table to chug down the bottle of water he always keeps there. He clears his throat multiple times, but it still feels like he has a barbed wire wrapped around it, tightening and tightening, and there's nothing Minho can do to ease the pain.

He lies back down, watching the bedroom disappear in the dark. It's getting late and Minho is worn out like never before, but he can't sleep-physically, and because he doesn't want to. Not before he talks to Jisung.

Minho doesn't know if he's ready to see him but he figures they can't just leave it unresolved. He needs to know where they stand or he will go insane.

Minho has all the right to be upset about this whole situation but the thing is, he hates being mad at Jisung.

So he turns the bedside lamp on and eventually scrambles out of bed, quietly approaching the door to unlock it and leave it open. He debates whether he should call Jisung's name or find him himself, but he hears clatter coming from the kitchen and abruptly coming to an end. Then footsteps, and Minho knows Jisung is coming.

He plops back down on the bed and his throat tightens; Jisung has been waiting all this time, listening whether Minho is coming out.

Minho can't see him from where he's sitting, turned away, but the footsteps halt right in front of the entrance. Jisung lets out a sigh, clearly hesitant, before taking another step forward. The hardwood creaks under his feet and Minho stifles the need to look at him.

He doesn't turn, just lets Jisung approach and sit down on the bed by his side. Neither of them speaks for a long moment, but Minho sees him open his mouth out of the corner of his eye.

Jisung runs fingers through his hair before speaking. "I'm sorry for popping out with that out of nowhere. I should've-I don't know. I just thought that it was something you'd like."

Minho sniffles, frowning in disbelief. "Why would you think I'd like you to fucking joke like this?"

It comes out harsher than he intends to but Jisung whips his head to the side with confusion rather than hurt written on his face. Minho dares to look at him, despite the tears that once again well up in his eyes. He feels ridiculous.

Minho wipes his cheeks with the back of his hand. Letting out a shuddering breath, he tears his eyes away, missing the look of realization dawning onto Jisung.

"No, no, no. Fuck-Oh God," he splutters, repeating curses under his breath like a mantra.

Jisung slips to the ground, kneels in front of Minho, and he's clearly not mocking, he's not doing it on purpose, but Minho's heart burns with pain when he sees him like this.

"Baby, look at me, please."

And Minho can't say no, can't look anywhere else, because Jisung is right in front of him, sounding desperate, and the crack in his voice when he calls Minho's name again is enough to break him.

When their eyes lock, Minho's breath catches in his throat. Jisung's eyes glimmer with tears, his lips are parted with a silent plea, and he looks scared.

"I-I would never. I would never joke about that. I swear on everything that I own-I swear on myself that it's all a coincidence. I didn't mean to-"

A pathetic sob rips out of Minho's chest. He hides his face in his hands, tries to hold himself back from breaking down again, but Jisung is right there; he takes Minho's hands in his own, whispers apologies in between kisses he plants on his knuckles.

"Why didn't you say anything? Why were you just kneeling there and not saying anything?"

"I'm so sorry. I panicked because you looked angry and I-I don't know. I thought you didn't want it and I just-I didn't know what to say."

Minho exhales. His lower lip trembles when he opens his mouth to speak, and it takes him a moment of staring into Jisung's eyes to finally gather his thoughts.

"You cancelled April Fools' Fun and I thought it was just a cover up. Then I heard Hyunjin and Felix talking about how you're planning something and..."

Minho trails off. His throat hurts from crying and talking is straining. Jisung doesn't rush him, though. He rests one of his hands on Minho's thigh, caressing it with utmost delicacy; as if Minho is glass that will break under too much pressure.

"You kept joking and taking me on dates to all those special places, the restaurants and get aways and Hyunjin was there and I-"

Jisung interrupts, shaking his head. "I admit the kneeling might've been too much but I was just trying to see your reaction. It felt like asking if you think it's the right time would take away the romantic surprise part but... I should have asked you. I'm sorry."

Despite the pain he has experienced in the last few hours, Minho can't help but snort a laugh. This whole situation is ridiculous. And when Jisung cracks a smile too, Minho feels himself relax.

"I wanted to propose by the pond because it's our place. And, frankly, no high-end restaurant is as exceptional as that goddamn park because it's where we met," Jisung continues, voice soft like never before, staring up at Minho with what can be described only as overpowering love. "I-I thought it would be, you know, cute. To make this silly little spot even more special."

Minho's heart has been hammering in his chest for the entire afternoon and he didn't think it could beat any faster but, when Jisung says all those things, it crashes against his ribcage. This time, though, it isn't painful.

"I would have said yes even if you proposed with a bottle ring in a dairy aisle while we're getting choco milk at 3 in the morning," Minho says, and it's true, even though they haven't gone to stores at that hour in a long time and he would yell if Jisung dared to drag him out of bed at that time of the day.

"That's oddly specific," Jisung points out, amused, but he's got a fond smile painted across his face. "I guess... It would feel special still, because it's you."

Over all these years Jisung has told him so many things that made Minho feel like the most beautiful person in the world but this time, it feels different. When Jisung looks at him like this, when he says all those charming words, fire burns within his veins, making him alive.

"I'm sorry for overreacting. I should've waited before jumping to conclusions."

Jisung cups the side of his face, shaking his head. "You have nothing to apologize for. If it had been me, my reaction would have been much worse, you know that."

Minho knows he's smiling just to make him feel better, but Jisung looks beautiful like this, in the dimmed lights, with a somewhat genuine smile on his face and eyes full of hope. To Minho, he always looks beautiful but this night he truly outdid himself without even trying.

Jisung's hand slides off his face and falls onto Minho's lap. He furiously chews on his lower lip; Minho knows him too well, he knows there's something Jisung wants to say.

Hoping it's enough of an encouragement, Minho takes his hand into his own and squeezes. It's another kind of magic, the way they understand each other without words, because Jisung offers a shy smile and immediately opens his mouth.

"So... does that mean you're not rejecting me?"

Minho feels an overwhelming wave of fondness for the man in front of him just as the question leaves his mouth. Jisung sounds uncertain, and yet he's looking up at Minho from where he's still kneeling on the floor with hope glimmering in his eyes like stars on a dark night sky.

Minho thinks he already knows him, but there's so much more to discover about Jisung.

"Go get me that ring, darling," he says, and no matter how smug he tries to sound, his throat closes up.

Jisung scrambles off the floor, huffs when his legs wobble underneath him from kneeling for too long and grimaces when his knees crack. Minho sends him a scolding look but his hand still travels to Jisung's hip to help him from falling.

Before Jisung leaves their bedroom, he stops by the entrance and, with his hand lingering on the doorframe, looks over his shoulder to smile at Minho like he has never before. He's glowing.

Minho breathes in and out, tries to stabilize his pounding heart and spinning thoughts but it doesn't work and intensifies when Jisung shows up in the doorway again. The tension in the air is a different kind of heavy, filled with anticipation and something Minho can't decipher yet.

"You're not kneeling down again," he says, patting the space on the bed beside himself. "Come on, I won't be driving you to the hospital when your legs give out."

"In good and bad, huh?" Jisung teases, complying.

Carefully, he opens the velvet box from before, revealing the ring that Minho hasn't had the chance to take a better look at. His breath catches in his throat at the sight.

An engagement ring is not exactly something he has ever dreamed of, but this one is absolutely perfect. Golden, with a bezel setting and a ruby in the middle. It's delicate, and really fucking gorgeous.

Minho is on the verge of tears again.

"Ruby is... it's supposed to be a talisman of protection, help you overcome exhaustion, bring you strength and good luck," Jisung says, and it's clear that he has put a lot of effort to find a perfect one. It's so him-to research about meanings, like the hopeless romantic that he is, just so he can gift someone with something meaningful, something he has poured his entire heart into.

Minho tears his stinging eyes away from the ring to look at him. Jisung is smiling, but with the pause and the way he swallows, it's obvious that he's emotional too.

He takes a deep breath, takes the ring out of the box and takes Minho's hand. "And, above everything, it's a symbol of love. And I love you, I will love you forever."

The ring fits perfectly on Minho's finger when Jisung slips it on, almost like it has been made with him in mind. He grants himself the moment of admiring how beautiful it looks before turning to Jisung.

"I love you," he whispers into Jisung's mouth and swallows his reciprocated confession with another kiss.

Minho swings his leg over Jisung's lap to straddle him. This kiss-and the numerous ones that come after-is bolder, firmer, laced with love and passion. Minho pulls away only to look at his favorite person in the world, savouring Jisung's touch; his hands sneaking under his sweatshirt, the light kisses pressed on every exposed inch of his body that Jisung's lips can reach-they all set Minho's skin on fire.

Yes, definitely. Minho isn't as happy anywhere in the world as he is in Jisung's arms.

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Isn't It Romantic? - hanville - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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As Jisung's golden eyes meet Minho's, crinkling with the smile that has only been growing this entire evening, that warm feeling returns with a rush to the pit of his stomach. It's all because they're here-in a fancy restaurant they don't visit often-and they're here together.

# data[].attributes.body
How sweetttttt TvT

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Minho's usual iced coffee leaves a much sweeter aftertaste on his tongue than usually when he finishes the cup. He's got a few more paragraphs of Yuna's essay to go through before he needs to leave; there is room for another cup.

Minho stands up from his spot in the corner of the café, where the flower vase is moved further to the side of the square table to make space for his laptop and a sheet of paper he keeps scribbling on, where the window overlooks at the busy street and busier people, rushing to get to their destinations; where he has been sitting for an hour now, and yesterday, and a few days before. Minho thinks this particular place has always been occupied by him and, by mere coincidence, it's always empty when he comes in.

Once upon a time, the seat across from him wasn't.

"Sometimes I wonder why they even need a tutor," Minho says, and he's not exactly lying.

Tutoring is something he has picked up after graduating; it adds variety to days filled with hours spent at the dance academy and serves as a distraction when the studio is out of reach.

Most teens need just a little guidance and push into the right direction from someone who is not their teacher, but rather has graduated both high school and college recently, not 20 or more years ago.

And Minho is always very glad to help them as much as he can.

"They don't need some random tutor, they need you," Nayeon tells him, and Minho doesn't know why her words make him so embarrassed. She has the nerve to giggle even when Chaeyoung emerges from the back to hand Minho his order, and he thinks he can still hear her laughing when he's already occupying his spot by the window again.

Customers come and go, most of them blurry faces in the scheme of Minho's day. Some of them he knows, and they greet him with a handwave while waiting for their coffee by the counter, and it's nice to be recognized in a city this big-it leaves a warm feeling in Minho's chest, like a layer of protection over his silly heart.

Minho is too engrossed in going through Yuna's essay and then checking his schedule to see if he can fit another kid in there somewhere to pay attention to the bell ringing softly over the door, announcing new customers.

After checking his emails and texting Yuna about her progress, Minho lets out a deep sigh and leans back on his chair, finally having a moment to just breathe. His cup of coffee is almost empty by now, and he knows he can't afford drinking another one-too much caffeine means headaches, and he has had more than those two cups today.

With one afternoon dance class ahead, Minho knows he should be leaving right this moment. He allows himself this one second of quiet, though, with the café almost deserted by now, serving as a background noise, and closes his eyes.

"You didn't get me a slice of cheesecake? Rude."

The scoff that follows, the sweet laughter that echoes through the walls of the café and the chair scraping the floor serve as proof that this is not a dream. Minho doesn't dare to open his eyes just yet, though, he gifts himself with a second of peace before his heart begins hammering in his chest.

Minho has spent an embarrassing amount of time wondering what it might be like to see Han Jisung again, but when he steals a glance in the direction where the voice came from, it's nothing he has ever prepared for.

Minho's gaze drops back to his table as millions of thoughts rush through his head.

Minho knows he's being unreasonably bitter about it-even though he has boarded that goddamn plane and left four years ago, Jisung has kept in touch. Sporadically, because time zones suck and Minho has learnt it the hard way. It was always enough to see his Instagram updates, with the friends he has made and things he has achieved, to wake up to his messages and trace the outline of his face whenever he sent a selfie with that short but meaningful "I miss you here"; and yet, some part of Minho clung to the sickening jealousy of other people having Jisung close.

He sits glued to his seat for a moment longer, deciding it's better to cool down. Finishing his iced coffee, Minho breathes in and out, counts down from hundred to zero, tries to focus on everything other than the man a few meters away from him.

But he can't. Now that he has heard Jisung's voice, he can't just stop himself from making it out of all the noise. It's the Jisung-tunnel vision, as their friends have teased; one that apparently hasn't died down through these years Jisung wasn't around.

Minho perks up at the unfamiliar name, now curious, even though he pretends to be scrolling through his Instagram feed like there's anything interesting there. He heads to Jisung's profile, but-just like he thought-there's absolutely nothing indicating that he would be coming back to Korea.

"I mean... I'm sure she's still doing great without me, but I wish I could take her here, you know? To have her close."

"I'm more happy to have her but... I miss her as hell, it really sucks to be so far away," Jisung continues, and Minho decides it's better to stop listening.

He should be going right now, he should leave and maybe not look back, because jealousy and longing is an explosive combination, but Minho stays. He can't bring himself to walk away from a chance to at least be in Jisung's presence for a little longer. Not yet.

Minho shuts the lid of his laptop closed and slips it into his bag along with the paper pad, standing up. Subconsciously, he knows the decision has been made the second he laid his eyes on Jisung, but even as Minho takes a deep breath and walks towards him, he can't shake off the anxiety nibbling at him from all sides.

Jisung doesn't notice him at first, scrolling through his phone and tapping his foot against the floor to some beat only he can hear, but then he looks up before Minho even gets to open his mouth.

His eyes widen with realization and he's springing out of his seat mere seconds later to envelop Minho in a hug. Nothing ever felt more warm than Jisung's embrace; even four years apart haven't changed that.

And Minho can't do anything other than pull him closer.

"I missed you," Minho finally says, squeezing him one last time before moving away. His hands stay firm on Jisung's waist, though, like it's a place made just for them, like their bodies are two puzzle pieces perfectly fitting together.

Wishful thinking, but that's the most Minho can allow himself in this moment.

He's no longer that 19 year old kid that left the country to pursue a crazy dream, slim and pale and seemingly so easy to break. Those four years have done their job-they have done Jisung well.

His eyes haven't changed a bit, though. And, as they glimmer under the artificial light of the café, studying Minho just as he's studying Jisung, Minho still finds them just as beautiful as before. Pictures, videos and rushed video calls don't do the golden hue justice-they don't show the sunshine incarcerated inside.

"I missed you," he repeats, watching Jisung's face light up even more. His eyes turn into crescents and it seems like his cheeks might burst from how wide he's smiling. Minho has a hard time believing it's because of him.

It's the simplest words that get Minho. He inhales, trying to fight his smile from widening and fails miserably.

"I didn't know you were back," he admits quietly.

Jisung only shakes his head, as if to say it's a conversation for another time. Minho sure does hope there is another time. He can't live on with just this glimpse of Jisung's new life, with just this fleeting moment of having him close again.

"I didn't recognize you sitting there! I thought that some blond asshole just decided to occupy my favorite table, and... it was you," Jisung says, letting out a breathy laugh, and he grins like a child, as if just having Minho here brings him this much happiness. "You look incredible."

Minho hates the way his neck burns bright red, and can only hope Jisung doesn't notice or is too busy staring right into his eyes to pay attention. It's strange to have him so close after four years spent on the other side of the globe; it feels like Jisung is going to disappear if he lets go.

"When did you come back?"

Jisung chuckles; his eyes sweep over Minho's face, just to settle back on his eyes. "Just a few hours ago. I dragged Chan out to get coffee 'cause I needed to power up," he says, moving his hands to Minho's shoulders, and yet letting the tips of his fingers skim over the nape of Minho's neck. "The jet lag hasn't kicked in yet but I think I'll have to sleep through tomorrow anyway."

And he's right here.

"So... no chance of seeing you tomorrow, then?"

Jisung bites down on his lower lip, but he can't hold back the growing smile; flowers of satisfaction bloom around Minho's heart, on the ground he thought was barren once.

"Maybe not tomorrow, but I want to see you. Clear your schedule for me," Jisung tells him, and Minho realizes that he would do just that-ditch everyone and everything, just to spend a second with the man in front of him.

But not today. Minho, caught off guard with Jisung's return, still has responsibilities he needs to take care of.

Out of the corner of his eye he sees Chan, still waiting by the counter even though he has a cup of coffee in hand; it's clear that he's giving them a moment to catch up by the glances he keeps stealing their way.

Minho sighs and, contrary to what he really wants right now, says, "I should go."

Jisung's smile falters but he composes himself quickly enough for Minho to think he has just imagined it. He nods in understanding and his hands slip from Minho's shoulders, taking the pleasant warmth of closeness along.

Minho selfishly holds on for a moment longer.

"I just need to be at work in an hour but I'll... Call me, alright? My number is still the same," he says, and then eventually moves away, fixing the strap of his bag over his shoulder as he takes a few steps towards the exit.

"I will," Jisung promises.

Minho takes a deep breath to at least try to calm his pounding heart down (he fails, but it's the effort that counts) and offers him another soft smile. Then, he walks to the exit with a strange feeling weighing all over him and pulls the door open.

As he takes one last look at Jisung over his shoulder, Minho wonders how strong his feelings must be to survive a four years long parting and come back rushing through his veins, stronger than ever.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Jisung doesn't call but, after leaving the dance studio after his last class for the day, Minho grabs his phone to find five unread messages from an unknown number, and he already knows who they are from.

The first thing he sees after tapping it open is exactly who he expected and hoped it to be-a short confirmation that it's in fact Jisung. What follows is a string of apologies: for hugging him out of nowhere, for texting him while he's at work, for not calling, and for spamming.

Minho can't help but smile to himself as he walks to the parking lot and gets into his car. Summer is right around the corner, so it's just beginning to get dark, and Minho snaps a picture of the setting sun in a rush of confidence to send it to Jisung with a short message. If this hasn't changed over the past few years, Jisung is a sucker for pretty sunsets; he will definitely appreciate this one.

MINHO: i'll call you when i get home, okay?

He doesn't wait for the reply, too eager to actually get home and call Jisung, but he hears the ping of an incoming notification from where his phone is thrown in the passenger seat.

The truth is, Minho is quite scared. The occasional contact he had with Jisung was nothing like their relationship before he left; he doesn't know Jisung's favorite song at the moment, if he's still just as obsessed with Studio Ghibli movies as he was back in the day, if he got a chance to visit all the places off his bucket list while living in New York City.

Minho doesn't know if there's a chance to go back to how things were back then-to random conversations started with carpet cleaning videos, to sleepovers in the middle of the week, to drinking expensive wine out of Jisung's grandma's cabinet, to sleepless nights of secrets and whispers, and that goddamn flirting that always had Minho's heart racing and neck blooming like a bright red rose.

He had a hard time telling what they were back then, and even now that it's all in the past, when Minho looks back, he still has no idea what to call their relationship. It was... something. Something between friends and lovers, with lines crossed and blurred, drawn back where they were and in different places. It was everything and nothing.

Minho remembers the day they met, when they were still teenagers and more stupid than now. Jisung was staying with his grandma and it was only a pure coincidence that their grandmothers met and decided they would be a perfect match. Being forced to hang out isn't the greatest start of a friendship, but they somehow kicked it off then, although Minho still wonders what exactly had them click.

Perhaps their grandmas were right all along-they are just a perfect match.

They didn't know they would be going to the same school after summer ends, and Minho thinks they both wanted to savour it as a fleeting, summer friendship and nothing more. Romantic souls, Jisung would call them and Minho would deny a thousand times, but deep down he knew the truth.

You can't just throw a friendship out of the window like that, though, so when Minho saw Jisung in the hallway one day, he didn't pass the chance to approach and say, "Missed me that much?" and the rest is history.

(But Minho still remembers the bright smile Jisung gave him that day, like it's engraved in his memory and there's no way to get rid of it. Perhaps he doesn't even want to.)

Minho's finger hovers over the phone call icon under Jisung's newly saved contact for a moment that seems dramatically too long, even for him. He ends up tapping it after he changes into fresh pyjamas and jumps onto his bed, comfortable enough to forget about the slight anxiety messing up with his brain.

Jisung picks up almost instantly, as if he has been waiting all this time.

Minho's stomach twists.

It's silent for a second and the only thing he can hear is Jisung's quiet breaths. Then, he lets out a soft chuckle and a "Hi," and Minho's mind is blown at how easy it is for Jisung to sweep away all his fears.

"Hey there. I wasn't sure if you still wanted to talk, so it took me a while," he says, leaving out the part where he was freaking out while picking out his clothes, wondering if Jisung wouldn't want to video call and he should make himself look at least presentable.

It would be (very) nice to see his face, but Minho doesn't know if his heart could take it.

Jisung hums on the other side. "Of course I want to talk, especially now that we're in the same time zone."

Minho is glad he feels the same about them, but he suspects the warmth spreading all over him isn't caused solely by the fact that Jisung wanted to talk to Minho, even when they were divided by eleven thousand kilometers.

"And I wanted to apologize for attacking you like that back in the café-"

Minho props up on his elbow, but finds it more comfortable to lie on his stomach a moment later. "You didn't attack me, loser."

"I kind of did, and... you just looked... I don't know. Stunned? So I figured you didn't like the hug. But it's stupid, so don't worry about that!"

"I was just shocked to see you here, you didn't even tell me you were here. And I loved the hug," Minho admits, drawing patterns with his finger over the soft duvet underneath him. He thinks Jisung should know that, though-it's quite obvious Minho absolutely loved it, at least considering he didn't want to let go.

He can tell Jisung is smiling just by hearing his voice and, somehow, it fills him with an overwhelming happiness; it's clear that these are not just empty words-Jisung has missed him just as much.

"Oh, you did? Well, then, I'll have to hug you every chance that I get now."

Jisung is joking-he must be joking-and yet, Minho wants to tell him that pretty little secret he has kept safe in his heart for so long-that he wouldn't mind it if Jisung held him and never gave him up.

With a soft sigh, he continues, "I didn't really tell anyone I was coming back 'cause I don't know how things are gonna unfold now but... I graduated. And returning home felt right."

Minho's heart skips a beat, swelling with pride that he has a hard time putting into words that aren't bland and simple. "You probably heard it a thousand times already, but congratulations, Sung-ah. I admire you and your hard work a lot," he says simply, even though there are millions of words on the tip of his tongue. "And now you're a certified actor, huh? Am I gonna have to fly to New York to see you on stage?"

Jisung chuckles on the other side, and mumbles a muffled "thank you" that lets Minho know about his embarrassment. His heart wouldn't handle imagining Jisung covered in soft blankets from head to toe, pressing his hand against his lips to prevent shy noises from spilling out, so Minho does everything to take his mind off this image.

"Actually, that's partially the reason why I came back. I don't-I don't know if I'm going to start my career on stage. It's quite hard to make a name for yourself just by that, I think," Jisung says eventually. Minho hums to signal that he can continue and that he's listening. "And Chan knows people that are launching a new show. They saw one of my performances and wanted me to audition properly. And I sent a tape and... got it. It's not-It's not a big role, but it's still more than I could ever ask for, so... yeah."

Minho's mouth falls open. "You're-Wow. You're incredible. I'm so, so proud of you, Jisung. What the fuck."

His heart thumps in his chest, almost bursting with happiness, as Jisung giggles on the other side.

Minho always knew Jisung would become a super star, with his goals always ahead of him, clear and steady. Being able to see him climb that ladder, taking the first big steps first hand feels crazy, though.

Jisung has always been destined to do great things.

"I wanted to try something back home before taking my chances in New York," he admits.

Minho's heart does an embarrassing flip because it's been four years of no returns and Seoul is still Jisung's home; his roots brought him back to Minho.

Selfishness will be the death of him.

Jisung isn't back because of him; he has a whole life back in New York, and he would never leave it just like that. He will go back one day, and Minho will be left with an empty Jisung-shaped space in his arms again.

"Can you tell me how things have been here? How much did I miss?" he asks, snapping Minho out of his gloomy thoughts.

Jisung makes it sound like the mundane life in Seoul is more exciting than all the things that have happened back in New York. He's genuinely curious, though, and Minho knows that it must have been awful to live on the other side of the world, to leave friends and family without much chance to be included in all the activities you have once been an integral part of.

Minho aches for Jisung; he can't even imagine how hard it must have been, but at the same time he hopes Jisung will stay long enough to enjoy all the things he has missed.

"For starters, Changbin and Hyunjin got engaged-" Minho presses his lips together in a thin line to avoid giggling like an idiot when Jisung squeals on the other side.

"What the hell! And I didn't know? How did that even happen? But... damn," he lets out a breathy laugh. "Now you got me wondering if crashing at his place starting tomorrow is a good idea."

Minho swallows the dangerous "you could always stay at mine" that threatens to spill past his shut lips. It's not the best idea-even he, on a cloud nine from having him back-knows that.

"When I tell you that it was completely random... Jeez. It wasn't that long ago. They were, like, doing groceries or something and Changbin fished out the last bag of those chips Hyunjin loves-"

"The grilled cheese ones? Fuck, I'd marry anyone who bought them for me, too," Jisung groans.

Minho definitely does not take a mental note of that.

"Yeah, and you know how dramatic Hyunjin can get. He just said 'marry me' and Changbin agreed. They finished doing groceries and went to buy rings. I think the wedding is next summer."

Jisung bursts out laughing then, the soft giggles bouncing off the walls of Minho's bedroom, hitting him in waves. He sounds sweet and cheerful and Minho heads spins, because it's exactly what he missed, exactly what he wants to hear every day, exactly what he loves.

"I can't even say I'm surprised but... wow. I'm-I'm happy for them."

Minho hums in response, acknowledging the hint of sadness in his voice. He knows Jisung wishes he was here to hear it first-hand, and it sucks that there's nothing he can say to make him feel better.

"Trust me, Hyunjin will flex that goddamn ring the second he sees you and you'll be begging for him to stop." Minho speaks from experience. "But... yeah, that happened when he came home for a break. He left for an internship in Japan and he's coming back... in two weeks, I think."

"Oh? Sounds fun. I need to pester him with questions once he's back, then."

Minho smiles to himself, thinking about how nice it will be to finally have them all together in one room. Things were alright, but not the same without Jisung. And now that he's here, their group will be complete.

"Jeongin scored an internship at the hospital last year and finished it not too long ago. They want him to actually work in the cardiology department after he graduates, can you believe that?"

Jisung whistles, clearly impressed. Minho was, too, and he still is-Jeongin is smart and talented, no wonder that at such a young age, he starts internships and ends with a possibility of a job.

"He's visiting his parents for the summer, though, so I don't know when you'll see him," Minho adds, and his heart sinks at yet another sad sigh from Jisung.

Silly thought, but Minho wishes he could hug him right now. It's good that they aren't talking through a video call-if he were to see Jisung's sad face, he would most likely (definitely) jump into his car and drive all the way to where he's staying just to comfort him.

That would be... too much.

Minho clears his throat, driving himself out of the dangerous territory. He puts on a smile, though it's not as genuine as he wishes it to be; he doesn't know why he's doing it, there's no point-Jisung can't see him anyway.

And yet, Minho smiles to comfort them both, to lace the sadness with something sweeter. He doesn't know if he's doing a good job.

"And... Felix got a job at the dance studio after the graduation. He's worked hard to get it since, you know, he didn't do an internship here, but he's doing amazing, honestly."

Jisung sounds confused when he asks, "Felix?"

Minho freezes. Perhaps neither of them realized just how much Jisung has missed throughout these four years; what Minho lays out in front of him is just a piece of what has happened, one piece of a puzzle with thousands of elements.

"Oh. I forgot-I forgot you don't know him," he says quietly. Clearing his throat, he continues, "We met in college-? He and Hyunjin got close and he kind of hit it off with the rest of us. He's like... sunshine personified. You'll love him."

Jisung is strangely quiet on the other side. He hasn't hung up because there's no reason to, and Minho can still hear his static breaths. There's no way to get rid of the worry that has already settled in the pit of his stomach, though.

And he can't shake off the feeling that there's something on the tip of Jisung's tongue-something he wants to ask, but doesn't.

Minho stills. There's so many things he can say about everyone, but it's hard to relay it all to Jisung when he has to talk about himself.

Letting out a soft chuckle, he says shortly, "I've been well."

Jisung huffs-it's overdramatic and loud enough for Minho to clearly hear, and he can picture him pulling a face like he always does.

"Come on, tell me everything," Jisung says, voice soft and delicate, barely over a whisper. "Don't skip the parts I already know, either. I like listening to your voice, so speak to me."

Minho's heart really is a traitor.

And there's nothing he can do when Jisung asks him so nicely, isn't there? It has always been just like this-Minho with a soft spot for that one particular boy, and Jisung taking advantage of his exceptional privilege.

With a sigh, he begins, "I've been working at Soonyoung's dance studio for the past few years and I've started tutoring in history last summer."

Jisung makes a quiet surprised noise and says, "History? You're so cool. Seriously, a full package." It isn't that deep. Minho definitely is not going to overthink every word Jisung has spoken to him for the rest of the night. "What else have you been doing? Besides getting dolled up, duh."

Minho lets out a soft scoff. "I didn't-"

"Oh, come on. You don't ever post pictures online, so forgive me for getting surprised that you look so... pretty," Jisung chuckles.

Minho presses his lips together, holding back a scream.

"Not that you didn't look pretty before. It's just... It's nice to see you glowing." Jisung clears his throat, probably taking Minho's sudden quietness as a sign of overstepping, and adds, "Sorry, continue. Tell me more."

Minho can't talk to him and google "how to stop my heart from jumping out of my chest every time the person i have feelings for breathes in my direction" at the same time, so he takes a deep breath and lets himself smile.

Minho allows the silly grin to spread across his face because there's no one else here, no one to make fun of him, and even Jisung can't see the way he makes him feel.

Like Minho is eighteen again, stealing glances at Jisung while they're sprawled across his couch, watching a documentary about the deadliest animals in the world. The butterflies fluttering in his stomach, heart skipping a beat, neck flushing a bright red-it's all the same, and it's just as scary.

"You're not going to believe me when I tell you it's been pretty uneventful," he says, propping up on his elbow.

Jisung scoffs. "You're right. I don't believe you."

"I'm serious. It's just been college, the internship, graduation and work and the tutoring. Everything... I don't know. Now that I look back, everything seems dull," Minho admits, playing with the hem of his t-shirt. "It's not that things were bad, I had lots of fun with the guys and, you know, had the whole college experience. I wouldn't say many memorable things happened, though."

Minho lets out a sigh. It's hard to admit aloud that every time something major happened, he wished Jisung was right there by his side. But he wasn't. The last two years of college, Minho had to go through without him.

"I think I know what you mean," Jisung says, pausing for a moment to gather his thoughts. "College here has been... well, an experience, but besides that and all the shows we've put up, nothing major happened. I've met awesome people and had the greatest time, but it felt like something was missing."

I wish you were there with me.

It's what Jisung told him in the café earlier today, and Minho allows himself this moment of self-indulgence to assume-to hope-that he was the one Jisung was missing in New York.

When he doesn't say anything, Jisung carries on. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like if I hadn't left then?"

Every day for the past four years. It has been an reoccurring theme in Minho's day-it's always a fleeting thought, set off when he sees something that reminds him of Jisung, or he's lying in bed, sleepless.

"Yes," Minho answers in a surge of courage. "I wonder and think and lose my mind but... I know you did the right thing, even though..."

"Even though?" Jisung repeats, haunting like an echo.

Minho smiles sadly, and he doesn't know what it is about Jisung that forces him to be honest. There's little that Jisung somehow hasn't ripped out of his hands, dug out of the depths of his heart, read in his eyes.

"Even though it hurt to watch you leave."

Nothing but silence can be heard on the other side, but Minho isn't afraid of what Jisung is thinking right now. His chest feels light, as if the confession had been weighing on his heart all this time.

Minho has always been supportive of Jisung, even when he ached to say something that could turn all his decisions upside down. He never said a thing about not wanting him to go, didn't ask Jisung to stay-not only because he had no right to.

All Minho wants is for Jisung to be happy. Apparently letting go of a confession that could ruin things for both of them ended up being a good decision then, because Jisung is happy. And Minho has no room to complain.

"I don't regret going to New York but I regret not staying," Jisung tells him. "It doesn't even make sense. I just wish I could... combine it all. But I can't."

"You're here now," Minho says, because there's nothing else he can do. "You're here now and that's what's important. You can catch up on everything and we'll make even better memories and... things will be good now, alright? Just don't leave too quickly."

"I won't. I promise I won't."

Minho chooses to believe him. He willingly holds onto this string of hope, knowing well it can shred at any given moment. Somehow, he has a strange feeling that this one is strong-it will last.

The conversation that follows is much lighter-Jisung shares scraps of his actor-to-be life in New York, promising to show him pictures the next time they see each other; Minho asks more about the show he's going to be filming, and Jisung discloses some details that no one outside the crew is supposed to know (Minho thinks he's bluffing, making up things at the spot, but he lets it slide because Jisung's sleepy voice sends shivers down his spine).

At some point, Minho crawls underneath his duvet, covering himself from head to toe even though he already feels warm all over.

He doesn't know how he has ended up telling Jisung the story about how he sprained his ankle by slipping on a rock one summer when he went to the beach with Changbin and Hyunjin, but Jisung insisted on getting to know about the least significant things that happened. And Minho couldn't say no, could he?

"The best part of it all was that Changbin carried me around and Hyunjin felt bad enough that he paid for our ice-cream," he chuckles. Despite the bitter aftertaste of this memory, Minho thinks he would like to go back there and bring Jisung along.

He turns on his side, sticking one leg from under the duvet and listens.

Minho glances at the clock in the upper corner of his phone and raises his eyebrows in surprise seeing that it's past ten already. Usually, he would stay up a little longer but after talking so much, he finds himself getting tired.

And the call is still on-going but Jisung hasn't spoken in a while. Minho wouldn't be surprised if he fell asleep listening to his dull stories. It would be good, actually-after a long flight and a day of not much rest, he deserves to finally get some sleep.

"Jisung?" he tries in a whisper.

There's no verbal reply but he can hear rustling on the other side, as if Jisung is turning in his bed. Minho presses his palm against his mouth to avoid laughing out loud. It's cute. Jisung is cute.

"Sleep well, angel," Minho says, hanging up.

He smiles to himself like a fool, still finding it hard to believe that Jisung is here again. That they talked for hours and hours and everything is perfect. Squeezing his eyes shut, Minho tries his best to fall asleep. When he finally does, he dreams of sun rays tickling his face and warm body pressed against his.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

There's no reply from Jisung when Minho wakes up in the morning but he wasn't expecting one to begin with. Actually, he hopes Jisung is still fast asleep and won't be getting up any time soon.

He, on the other hand, scrambles out of his bed with a sigh. He has got dance classes starting at nine and up until late afternoon, with a long break in between that he knows he will be spending with Felix. Even without tutoring sessions ahead of him, Minho knows it's going to be a productive day.

As he's getting ready, he humms one of the cheerful songs that have been playing on the radio lately, something fun and with a summer vibe that makes you excited even though it's kind of annoying to hear it playing over and over again.

Minho has a sneaking suspicion why he's feeling so jolly even though he had to get out of bed and go to work (and usually that would be enough to turn his mood sour), but just thinking about it makes him feel embarrassed so he tries to push that theory as far into the depths of his mind as he can.

"Why are you making that face?"

Felix's grin only widens. "The guy you've been in love with for half of your life is back in town and you're still here? Not, I don't know, kissing his entire face?"

Minho splutters, but he quickly collects himself, pretending it's the coffee that burnt his tongue. If Felix's expression is anything to go by, it wasn't much of a believable stunt. There's a reason why, between the two of them, it's Jisung that's an actor.

"Everything in the world is complicated. How long is he staying for?"

Minho doesn't voice out his concern about Jisung possibly having a significant other waiting for him in New York, someone he would definitely go back for, someone who is a direct factor that complicates everything and completely crushes all the hopes.

"I don't know. He landed a role in some production here so... I hope he won't leave soon," Minho admits, ignoring the look Felix sends him.

He still doesn't understand how it is that this guy can see right through him, just like that; even if Minho hadn't spoken a word, Felix would have just known-one piercing gaze would be enough to take a look right into Minho's soul.

"Then take your goddamn chance. He was leaving the last time but now he's here," Felix reasons, taking the paper cup of steaming coffee into his hands before speaking again. "I mean, how good does this guy have to be for you to hold onto these feelings for years, even when he's on the other side of the world?"

He doesn't voice that out to Felix though. He has had enough teasing and embarrassment from the rest of his friends that had to see him fall in love with their own eyes.

"From what I've heard, he's charming. And you're a rock towards everyone-"

Minho scoffs. "I am not a rock."

"You're a rock towards everyone but him. The guys always tease you about how you weren't even trying to hide the fond look back then." Minho groans. "And now I'm gonna witness it first-hand? Glorious."

It must not be clear enough, though, since Jisung apparently still has no idea. Or perhaps he has and has chosen to completely disregard it.

"I was thinking," he begins, altering course a little further from his non-existent love life, "maybe we could go out altogether some time? He's missed a lot while he was gone and, you know, I want him to feel welcome here."

Felix makes that face he always does when he sees something cute-knitted eyebrows, wide, sparkling eyes and that pout he hasn't gotten out of using to his advantage yet.

Minho can't stand him. He rolls his eyes, averting his gaze just so he doesn't have to be the victim of Felix's doe eyes.

"That's so nice of you. I'm sure the guys will be down but Hyunjin and Innie still haven't come back," Felix says, pushing the door to the studio open.

There's no one inside, just their things as they left them. They have made this habit of occupying this particular room just because of the most comfortable couch in the entire building that stands right in the corner. Minho thinks they deserve to lie down after working, even if it's just a moment.

"Do you think it's okay if it's just us for now?"

Minho nods, plopping down with a sigh. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll be bringing his friends, you know, Chan and Seungmin, so we'll be good. It has to do for now."

"He will?" Felix asks, and Minho shoots a look his way, curious as to why his voice sounds so stiff out of nowhere.

He's still smiling-and clearly trying to hold back-but there's something strange to the look on his face. Minho might not be an expert-he definitely isn't-and yet, considering the silly blush making its way onto Felix's stardusted cheeks, he thinks he might know what it's all about.

He hears Felix mumbling something under his breath but turns a deaf ear. Maybe Minho swings his legs onto the couch to lie down comfortably and does kick him but he doesn't say anything, so Felix has no room to complain.

Even after they are both finished with their coffees, they still feel sleepy. Their legs have somehow ended up tangling together but it's comfortable enough that neither of them wants to move. Minho wonders if they could just crash at his apartment the next time they have a break this long in between classes, have proper coffee and eat some takeout.

Just as he's about to lay this idea out for Felix, his phone begins vibrating with an incoming call. He groans, reaching out to the side to find it and pick up just to tell whoever is calling to leave him alone during his break.

Minho stills, almost dropping his phone when he finally gets a hold of it and sees who's calling. Startling Felix, he sits up and slides his finger over the screen to accept it.

"Jisung," he breathes out even before the caller gets to speak and finds Felix perking up at the name with obvious curiosity.

"Hi. Are you okay to talk?" After a confirmation from Minho-a quiet hum and a nod that Jisung can't see-he continues, "I just woke up and realized that I probably fell asleep on you yesterday, I don't remember hanging up."

Minho smiles to himself, imagining Jisung sheepishly rubbing his neck right now. He wonders if he still has those tells that Minho has managed to pick up over the years.

"Ah, don't worry about that. I assume you've gotten enough sleep, at least?"

"Yeah, yeah, I did. Chan is gonna drive me to Changbin's soon so I had to get up," Jisung tells him; there's some rustling on the other side, and then a yawn. They both chuckle. "I guess I'll have to sleep a little more."

"Yeah, you definitely shouldn't leave your bed for the next few days."

Felix snickers, loud enough for Jisung to hear, definitely. Minho glares, pushing him away and further into the corner of the couch so he doesn't eavesdrop; his palm remains pressed against Felix's mouth to keep him quiet but Minho drops the idea and grimaces as Felix licks his hand. Nosy little bastard.

"Are you sure you're not busy?" Jisung asks, sounding uncertain.

Great. Minho will murder Felix with his bare hands if Jisung decides to hang up any time soon because of his giggles in the background.

"I'm just on a break with Felix and he's being annoying."

"Oh," Jisung lets out. "Okay. I was-I was just wondering if you're free to hang out tomorrow? Maybe we could get breakfast together?"

Minho presses his lips together in a line to prevent from screaming out an overenthusiastic "of course, whenever!" and dances a quick happy dance of victory with backflips and cartwheels in his head.

Ignoring the amused look Felix sends his way, he replies, "Of course, always. But I've got a tutoring session at noon, so..."

"Is ten okay, then?"

Minho nods enthusiastically, forgetting that Jisung can't actually see him. He should be grateful for that-it would be too embarrassing, even for him.

Jisung chuckles. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"Of course. It's our place, afterall, isn't it?"

Minho regrets not putting more effort back then, when Jisung left and all they had left were messages and rare video calls, but he felt defeated. It hurt to chat like nothing was different-like they were just streets away from each other and could meet in half an hour-because everything was different.

And now that he has Jisung here again, he doesn't want to let go. Even if Jisung leaves again, Minho will try and try to stay close until there's no hope left; he doesn't want to imagine it happening, but he quietly thinks they could make it work this time.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Minho should have expected to feel hot all over the moment he put on a light blue knitted jumper back in his apartment. He thanks the gods and whoever invented air conditioning for saving his hopes of looking nice for Jisung, without sweating and smelling.

He's early but it's nothing special-Minho just doesn't like the possibility of being late. And, besides, he doesn't mind waiting. At least he can gather his thoughts before he sees Jisung again.

He has been thinking about it a lot lately, whether he wasn't clinging onto the remnants of his affections towards Jisung just because he was unavailable, living on the other side of the world. Every time this thought comes, it quickly goes-it's ridiculous because Minho is an adult, he knows that he isn't making his feelings up; they are real, and alive, and doing well despite everything that has happened throughout years.

Minho missed Jisung so much it hurt, and seeing him again somehow rekindled the embers dancing around his poor heart, turning them into a real flame that he doesn't know if he can put out. He probably can't.

With a smile, Minho greets Chaeyoung by the counter and walks straight for the table by the window, sitting down without ordering yet. It feels right-waiting here and knowing that the spot across from him won't be empty.

He takes out his phone and scrolls through Instagram to kill time, finding himself immersed in all the satisfying videos, just like always. It's an abyss-you watch one of these and then the algorithm recommends ten others and then nothing else but some guy cleaning carpets shows up.

He doesn't hear either the bell over the door ringing or the quiet footsteps getting closer, but he does get enveloped in that strong and yet sweet fragrance that his brain immediately recognizes.

Minho smiles when Jisung leans down, reaching out from behind Minho's back to set a small bag on the table. Their cheeks are almost pressed together in this position-they're close to the point Minho feels like he can barely breathe.

"What's this?" he asks, and he doesn't want to think about how strained he must sound.

Jisung turns slightly to the side but Minho doesn't dare to look at him, instead focusing on the paper bag. He moves away then; when he slips into the seat across from Minho, it feels like they are both hit by the same wave of familiarity.

They break into identical grins when their eyes finally meet.

"You thought I wouldn't bring you anything from NYC?" Jisung bites down on his lower lip, gesturing towards the gift for Minho to finally open it. It's evident he's trying not to smile.

"You knew we'd run into each other?" Minho asks, taking the paper bag into his hands.

"I would've found you sooner or later."

He pretends to be very busy unpacking the gift so as not to have to look at Jisung, scared and nervous because Jisung would know-with one look, he would know how much his silly words are affecting Minho, and he doesn't want to take that risk just yet.

At the bottom of the bag lies a fridge magnet with the most popular New York tourist attractions: the Statue of Liberty, Empire State Building and the Brooklyn Bridge, surrounded by signs leading to Broadway and Times Square.

It's adorable that Jisung remembers this stupid little detail, that Minho's family collects magnets from all around the world. He promised to bring one when he was leaving and Minho had honestly already forgotten about it. Mostly because he began to lose faith that Jisung was ever going to come back.

It's the other thing in the bag that catches his attention, though. Minho's eyes widen and he gasps, picking up the cat-shaped keyring.

Jisung chuckles, clearly endeared by his reaction. "You like it?"

"Are you kidding? It looks like Soonie. It's perfect." Minho grabs his bag to fish out the keys to his car and ceremoniously attaches the chain. Then, he finally moves his eyes back to Jisung and his breath catches in his throat.

Is it even possible to fall in love with someone continuously, over and over again?

"Thank you," he says. "I'm honoured you even thought to bring me something."

Jisung raises an eyebrow, playful grin spreading across his lips. "Did you think I could ever forget about you?"

Minho doesn't admit this is exactly what he feared, that someone better would come and take his place as the person who understands Jisung best. Instead, he chuckles, slipping the magnet and his keys back into the bag slung over the back of his chair.

Jisung is watching him all this time, as he brushes his bangs away from his forehead and fixes the jumper slipping off his shoulder. His curious eyes follow Minho's every movement and, finally, he decides to open his mouth.

"I'll go order. What do you wanna eat?"

Minho drops his hands onto the table, lacing his fingers together. He thinks for a moment and eventually says, "I don't actually feel like eating, to be honest. I've been living on nothing but coffee and dinner after work lately."

Minho knows how it works-it's completely okay if he does something bad for his health, if he decides to stuff himself with too much caffeine and eat irregular meals, but if someone he cares about does the same, he wants to force them to change their habits.

"I'll have whatever you're having, then," Minho says, suspecting that Jisung's tastes haven't changed at all. Considering the grin sent his way, he's right.

"Be right back."

Minho lets out a soft chuckle as soon as Jisung disappears, just because he's unreasonably happy about being able to spend time with him. And the silly theory that decided to cloud his mind, making him think he's just desperately trying to hold onto the remnants of their relationship is proved wrong every time Jisung looks his way-Minho still feels everything when he's near, as intense as all these years ago, maybe a little more; deep inside he knows exactly how to call it, that this feeling has got a beautiful name invented thousands of years ago, but he's too scared to use it yet.

It doesn't take long and Jisung is coming back, footsteps echoing in Minho's ears. He clears his throat and straightens up before reminding himself that it's just Jisung-it's his Jisung. He shouldn't be trying to impress him or pretend to be perfectly collected when he's the person who has seen Minho at his worst.

Jisung sets a tall glass on the table in front of him. "One americano for the pretty boy in blue."

Minho freezes. Screw this-if he isn't supposed to put on an act, he's going to have to tell Jisung to stop saying things that make Minho's heart skip a beat, things he (probably) doesn't mean in a way Minho would like him to.

When Jisung slips back into the seat across from him, fingers wrapped around the cold glass, his eyes shine with a strange glint of something Minho might be looking too much into. He wishes it were the case-two reunited friends, both swept by a sudden wave of fondness, on a date in their favorite café they once called their place. But that's not it. Minho doesn't know if it could ever be.

Probably not, considering Jisung has left someone in New York. And Minho might be a lot of things but he definitely isn't a home-wrecker.

Minho humms. "Yeah, things got better after some idol group got spotted here and their fans kept coming in, wanting to meet them."

Jisung chuckles, not realizing that Minho had to endure months of quick go-to cups and no empty tables, no matter what time he came here to sit in a nice atmosphere, by his favorite table.

Minho bites back the laugh, but it's hard when Jisung sends him one of his ineffective glares.

"Did they end up doing open mic over the summer?" he asks, changing the subject.

Minho nods. "Jeongin performed a few times, too. It was really fun, especially when he got super embarrassed after we all cheered for him."

Jisung perks up. His eyes look like they hold a whole galaxy in them when he stares at Minho like this. He's messing with his mind and, most importantly, his heart.

"I hope you've got a video. Please, tell me you've got a video."

"Are you kidding? I've got all of them. They're on three different drives, kept safe for the future generations and away from Innie," Minho tells him.

Jisung leans back in his chair, clearly delighted at the idea of listening to Jeongin's honey voice. They all know that, despite the embarrassment that definitely comes from all the cheers in the background, it's a good memory to preserve, one that they can cherish.

"I bet it's fun to perform here, you know," Jisung says, drawing circles and patterns on the tabletop with his finger.

Minho can only watch him, entranced like it's the most fascinating activity in the world, until Jisung looks up again, catching him staring. His neck instantly feels hot, and he can only hope the blush doesn't show too much.

But Jisung only smiles, as if it's nothing new, nothing special, as if Minho staring at him with pure fondness in his eyes is a normalcy that he actually doesn't mind.

"We should sing a duet if they do it this year, what do you think?"

Minho's eyebrows shoot up, doubtful. "I don't sing."

As soon as those words leave his mouth, Jisung leans over the table, looking at Minho with his sparkling doe eyes. This man knows what he's doing, he knows which buttons to push, knows that Minho would do anything just to make him happy.

"Please, for me?"

Minho doesn't reply-he's saved by the chime of Jisung's phone, followed by another and then another, and when the sound stops, it must be at least ten new messages. They both shift their eyes to where it lies by the edge of the table, and Minho's heart sinks at the realization who it might be, who might want to contact Jisung this badly.

He takes a long sip of his americano, pretending the bitter taste on his tongue is just coffee and not the unreasonable jealousy.

Minho doesn't have the right to be upset.

He's got Jisung right in front of him, after years of almost radio silence-it's nothing short of a miracle and he can't be wasting the time they have left on being sad because Jisung has built a life for himself across the ocean.

But Minho is Minho. He can't keep his mouth shut no matter how hard he tries (he's not trying) because he's a major fool that can't keep his composure around his crush.

"Is it your girlfriend?"

Twenty-six years on Earth and Minho still doesn't know when to stop talking. He feels utterly stupid as soon as those words leave his mouth and has to fight the urge to spring out of his seat and just run.

Jisung looks up from the screen, raising his eyebrows. "My what?"

"I thought you-" Minho sighs, rubbing his burning neck. "I wasn't eavesdropping or anything but I heard you mention a girl that day, you know, when you came back."

Jisung tilts his head to the side; Minho really doesn't know what to think when a playful grin makes its way onto his face, and Jisung looks so smug about it.

"You were totally eavesdropping," he states, as a matter of fact, and maybe Minho was, but just a little bit and he didn't mean to. "And I don't have a girlfriend. Or a boyfriend, or any significant other. Well, besides my cat. Her name's Miya, and I guess it's her you're so concerned about."

If Minho was embarrassed three seconds ago, now he's humiliated. It's not even Jisung's fault-even though he's clearly teasing, pushing Minho to the edge to see what happens.

Nothing happens. His gaze drops to the table and he doesn't dare to look up; not until his pulse is steady again, not until his heart no more feels like it wants to jump out of his chest, not until Jisung's piercing eyes stop drilling holes right into his soul.

Minho is an adult and yet he feels like a middle-schooler now, his silly crush exposed for everyone to see and laugh at. Except it's just Jisung, and maybe he doesn't even realize how heavy his teasing feels on Minho's heart.

"You've got a cat?" he croaks out instead, hoping that it's enough for Jisung to understand that he doesn't really feel like being poked fun at.

"Wanna see?" Jisung asks, but he's already sliding his phone across the table for Minho to coo at the black cat on the screen. He chuckles, and gestures for him to keep scrolling through the gallery. "I know, she's cute."

Minho's heart does endeared flips just to sink again because Jisung stares down at his phone, at the photo of Miya, and looks sad. He makes a spontaneous decision to reach out and hold Jisung's hand, hoping it will comfort him.

Considering he isn't pushed away, Minho thinks of it as a success.

"I'm sure she misses you a lot. And you'll go back to her in no time, right?"

Jisung sighs, smiling bitterly. Even though takes his phone and locks it, neither of them lets go. "That's exactly it. I don't-I'm not sure of that."

Minho frowns, not really understanding where this is coming from. "What do you mean?"

"I know it seems like a waste, starting a life in New York and coming back here after years but... I miss home more than I thought I would," Jisung admits quietly. "I want to be here where everything is just familiar, with my family, with the guys, with... you."

It would be a lie to say his words don't make Minho's throat go dry, don't make his heart stutter, don't make his thoughts run wild. Minho can only fix the grip on Jisung's hand, interlock their fingers and convey his support through his eyes, even though Jisung's are fixed on the tabletop.

With a sigh, he continues, "I just feel so left out and alone and it sucks so bad. I know there are people who have it worse than me-"

"It doesn't matter if someone has it worse than you, alright?" Minho cuts in, even though he hates to do that. Jisung swallows, finally meeting his eyes. "Your feelings and thoughts are valid."

"I met so many people and had so many good opportunities but... I don't know. New York never felt complete."

"Jisung, if living in Seoul is what you want, I think you shouldn't force yourself to stay there, just because you have for the past years. They might not be the same, they might not be as big as in the States, but there are opportunities waiting for you here, alright?"

For the first time in quite a while, it's not selfishness speaking through Minho. All he wants is for Jisung to be happy, surrounded by people he loves and who love him, and it's clear that being at home is what will give him just that.

"You've graduated fucking Juilliard," Minho breathes out, still in awe. "You can land a role wherever the hell you can think of. No need to force yourself to stay somewhere you don't want to be."

Minho wishes he reached out to Jisung back then, to check if things were really alright behind the scenes of all the bright smiles on Instagram, if he was doing good, if he was healthy and happy and had people he could lean on.

But there's no point in dwelling on the past now.

"Leaving Seoul was hard, it was awful," Jisung adds, running his tongue over his teeth. "And leaving New York felt like I finally got to breathe. I know it's dramatic but this is exactly how it felt."

"You're very brave, you know that? For going to the States and for leaving. I admire you a lot," Minho admits, watching Jisung scrunch his nose with a slight smile. "Don't be embarrassed. It's a good thing."

Jisung ends up nodding but he's still blushing furiously, and Minho knows there's nothing he can do to ease his embarrassment but stay quiet; maybe some other time, he would have teased him further but Minho decides to let it go today.

They fall silent after that. Sipping his coffee, Jisung ends up looking around the café, eventually turning to the side to take a better look at the plants lined up on the windowsill, bathing in the early sun. Somehow, as he shifts to stare at the street outside, Minho gets a feeling there's something else on his mind, something other than passing cars and busy pedestrians.

He doesn't push Jisung to speak, though, because now that he might be staying in Seoul, they have all the time in the world. At least it feels like they do, and Minho hopes it's the reality.

He doesn't have to wait long until Jisung is ready to share his thoughts, though. Tearing his gaze away from the view outside and directing it back onto Minho, he lets out a soft sigh.

"Do you think that things would be different if I just never left?" he ends up asking, as if what Minho told him during the phone call wasn't enough. He's studying Minho's face like he knows there's no clear response he will be getting, like he's trying to rip it out of his mind himself.

But Minho knows this is exactly the case. Everything would be different if Jisung didn't pack his bags and boarded that plane, if he didn't leave Minho behind, if he stayed.

Minho is quite sure of that because he had never planned to bottle his feelings up this way in the first place.

It's pretty ironic how his mind never let him forget that particular summer day a little over four years ago, haunting him by replaying the memory during sleepless nights and quiet days like a broken record.

He was building the courage to actually confess for the entire week-thinking it through a million times, considering all the possible outcomes, paying more attention to Jisung's behaviour to see if there was at least a tiny little bit of chance for reciprocation.

Summer was ending and they were all visiting Busan, invited by Jeongin's parents to spend the last moments enjoying the sea. On their last day, they went to a fun fair, enjoying every possible attraction they could.

Minho remembers it well, how Jisung clung to him, linking their arms and not wanting to let go, turning a deaf ear to all the teasing from the rest of their friends, even though he would have reacted on any other day.

Knowing well what happened later that night, he now realizes Jisung was just holding onto what they had, he wanted to have good memories because, by then, he had already made that life-changing decision that drew them apart.

Jisung didn't say anything, not until they were alone, sprawled on the huge bed in the guest bedroom of Jeongin's house, giving Minho more time to think and analyze and eventually come to the conclusion that he should give it a chance.

For the first time ever, he had something to lose. Everything, because in the span of only a few years, Jisung had become an integral part of his life, someone he couldn't even imagine being without. Minho was about to risk it all.

But Jisung spoke up first.

"I need to tell you something," he said, sounding way more nervous than usual.

Minho's heartbeat involuntarily picked up as he propped up on his elbow to take a better look at Jisung. Some silly part of him, the hopeless romantic he had been hiding in the depths of his mind, thought that maybe Jisung liked him all along, maybe he had enough of beating around the bush, of the flirting and longing gazes and now he wanted more.

"I actually-I wanted to tell you something too."

Jisung looked taken off guard but he still asked, "Can I go first? I'm kind of-I'm nervous about it."

Minho blinked, naive thoughts filling his longing mind with false hope, and he nodded, maybe too enthusiastically. Jisung didn't seem to mind. He fell back onto the soft pillow and when he spoke again, his voice bounced off the beige walls of the room, echoing in Minho's mind long after everything was silent again.

"Remember how I applied to that school in New York?"

Minho's nervous smile faltered. He swallowed the lump in his throat, averting his eyes from Jisung's face, and nodded, even though he already didn't like where this conversation was heading.

"I got accepted and I think I'm gonna go," Jisung breathed out, as if he still couldn't believe it.

To be fair, Minho couldn't, either.

"I thought it was just a long shot. I thought-I thought you were gonna join me at SNU."

Because Minho didn't want to start a relationship-if there was even anything to start, if his feelings were even reciprocated and it wasn't just his foolish mind playing tricks-while he was in college and Jisung hadn't graduated high school.

Two years is barely any age difference-especially when they had known each other for quite some time and had become close enough to blur those lines-but university and high school are different. Things just seem different, and Minho wanted them to remain on the same wavelength.

But all this-it didn't matter, not when Jisung had just announced he was going to the fucking United States for gods know how long.

But then Jisung asked, "Aren't you happy for me?" in that uncertain voice that had Minho's heart crumbling into pieces, and he realized how selfish it had been to think about himself in such a great moment.

It hurt, of course it did, and it would for a long, long time, but pulling Jisung into a hug, whispering sweet words of praise and pride right into his ear laced the stinging pain with honey.

And years later, Minho is grateful he pushed egoism aside, freeing his mind of the ugly haze-Jisung never deserved to be the victim of his infantile thinking.

"I think a lot of things would be different," he admits eventually, swirling the remainder of his coffee in the glass. The ice has completely melted by now. They must have spent quite a lot of time here, but he doesn't want to look at the clock. "But what happened has already happened. I don't know if we should keep thinking about the what ifs."

Minho knows he's being a hypocrite. Throughout these years, he has done nothing but wonder and think and come up with at least a million different scenarios of what could have been. But now, with Jisung by his side again, Minho wants to focus on what's ahead of them. He hopes it's a lot of good things.

Minho's phone lights up with a notification, a reminder that he's got a tutoring session with Jungwon in half an hour. He sighs, not really wanting to leave just yet, and looks up at Jisung to find him staring with furrowed brows.

"Something wrong?"

Minho chuckles softly, thinking it's quite adorable how concerned Jisung instantly got. "No, I just have to go and I don't wanna."

"Ah, right. It's almost noon," Jisung nods, drinking up his coffee. "Did you come by car?"

"No, Jungwon's house is a quick walk away from here."

Minho watches Jisung stand up from his chair with confusion and quiet disappointment. They could spend a few more minutes together, maybe a little more if Minho is up to sprinting through the park to get to his student on time, but it's totally okay if he doesn't want to. Perfectly fine.

But then Jisung nods towards the exit and says, "Come on. The weather's nice, I'll walk you," and Minho's heart stutters in his chest as he raises from his seat, too.

The park is only a few streets away. Stretching and branching out in multiple directions, it creates a popular shortcut to different parts of the district. Minho is quite surprised to find it less crowded than usual but he isn't going to complain-he enjoys the comfortable silence that has fallen over him and Jisung.

It doesn't last long, though, because he snaps Minho out of his thoughts to say, "You know, I can't stop wondering what you wanted to tell me that night in Busan. You said you would, but... you didn't."

Minho straightens, noticing that Jisung is watching him out of the corner of his eye. "I can't remember now, it was so long ago. And it was probably something stupid," he lies, wondering if Jisung too remembers that night as well as he does.

And maybe, if he didn't feel it all intensified now, Minho would tell him the truth-that night, he wanted nothing more but to shed light onto his growing feelings, to have a confession whispered back against his lips, to fall asleep and wake up right next to Jisung, to go back home and think of all the places they could go to on dates.

He dares to look to the side, to lock eyes with Jisung, and the sheer fondness he sees in them sets his heart on fire. He knows that gaze, he recognizes it because he's been teased for it a million times.

"Alright, let's say I believe you," Jisung says, nudging him in the side. It's clearly playful, he simply can't have any idea what was running through Minho's head back then, and yet his words leave Minho wondering.

He decides to push these thoughts aside for now, though, wanting to enjoy every second of what's left of their morning date. It's crazy how years have passed and yet Jisung is still the person he feels most comfortable with, how just a quiet walk through the park is enough to make his day brighter.

Being with Jisung is so nice that Minho finds himself slowing down as they're nearing the exit and the street where Jungwon lives. He knows he's being ridiculous but this is exactly what not having Jisung around did to him-he wants to prolong and savour every second they get to spend together.

Just to keep him around for a little longer, Minho comes to a halt by the gate and waits for Jisung to do the same to ask, "Would you like to hang out with the guys some time soon? Eat something and, you know, just hang out?"

Jisung's face lights up with a smile as he nods. "Changbin said he wanted to invite you guys over this weekend. It would be awesome to finally see everyone."

"Well, then, we're settled. I'm making them all clear their schedules," Minho states; Jisung must think it's a joke-he chuckles, unaware that Minho is deadly serious. "And we can video call Hyunjin and Innie, too. It'll be great."

They fall silent after that, both smiling at the thought of gathering everyone together again. Minho doesn't really know what else to say, but he doesn't want to go yet, either. When his phone vibrates with another notification-ten minutes to the tutoring session-he sighs, defeated, with no other choice but to go to work.

"Aish, why are you like this?" Jisung asks, shaking his head with a silly grin. "Don't be sad, alright? We can see each other again whenever you want to, and if you miss me too much, you can call me."

Minho rolls his eyes, beginning to walk away while still facing Jisung. "You will call first. Or spam me with thousands of messages, like you always do. Still can't get enough of me, can you, Han Jisung?"

He doesn't wait for an answer, thinking he won't be getting any, and turns around to finally head to Jungwon's house. Minho doesn't stop when he hears Jisung mumbling something under his breath, but his heart does. It stutters dangerously as he makes out the words "yeah, i can't" and a wave of foolish hope washes over Minho.

Maybe, after all, Jisung feels the same.

(When Minho steals one last glance over his shoulder leaving the park, Jisung is still standing there, staring at him like there's nothing else in the world he would rather be doing.)

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

Getting eight adults to be available at the same time for longer than half an hour is one hell of a challenge but everyone obediently ditches sleeping through the whole weekend to hang out.

Saturday afternoon, Minho kills the engine of his car in the parking lot of Felix's apartment building, sending him a quick message to let him know he's already waiting. Felix is leaving the building a few minutes later, loose flower-patterned shirt flowing in the summer breeze. He slips into the passenger seat, immediately reaching to fasten his seatbelts.

"You baked cookies?" Minho asks, sniffing and clearly smelling chocolate in the air. He starts the car again, driving out of the parking lot and into the main road.

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Felix nod. "Yeah, I mean, who doesn't like cookies? I hope Jisung does," he says, chuckling awkwardly and Minho is surprised to realize that Felix is nervous about meeting someone dear to all of them.

It's endearing in a way, but Minho wishes he could take all the stress and toss it into the closest garbage dump; there's no way Felix and Jisung won't become best friends, considering they both put up with Minho-complaining over him being annoying is good enough of a reason to bond.

"Come on, he'll love you. I've known him for so long, you can trust me on this," he says, wishing he could reach out and pat Felix's thigh in support but he wants them to arrive at Changbin's place in one piece. "No need to be nervous."

"I'm just-I jumped into his place after he left. And now that he's-"

"Shut the fuck up." Minho sends him a fleeting glare. "Don't speak like you'd been his replacement or something. You're your own person and you're amazing and you're our friend. Just... don't think of it that way."

Felix falls quiet but Minho can see that his shoulders are more relaxed now. He's looking out of the window, a paper bag in his lap, and then his gaze shifts back ahead and he's reaching out to change the station on the radio. Minho doesn't mind, even though he doesn't know the song that Felix begins humming.

Driving with Felix in the passenger seat is calming. Minho thinks he could just pick him up and drive around the city whenever he's feeling particularly upset and everything would be alright again. There's something about him, something that feels like a hot summer day with just enough breeze to make it perfect.

"And Jisung will definitely love the cookies," he adds, pulling into the parking lot of Changbin's apartment building, and turns to the side to send Felix a reassuring smile. "Back off, though, you're not allowed to steal him from me, understood?"

Felix quirks an eyebrow. "Ah, so you're confident now?"

He grabs the bag from the backseat, bottles of alcohol clinking against each other, and locks the car as they head for the entrance. When they reach the right floor, Felix rings the bell and after a moment, the door swings open.

"Hi, come on in!" he says, voice still cheerful as he moves to the side to let them in.

After taking off their shoes, they all awkwardly stand by the door, until Minho doesn't make it his responsibility to introduce the two of them. He watches Jisung and Felix shake hands, quite amused, hoping this evening will break the ice between them.

"Chan and Seungmin are probably on their way. And Changbin is calling Hyunjin on Skype already," Jisung explains then, leading them further into the apartment.

"We aren't gross!" they hear from the living room. Felix conveniently rushes to greet Hyunjin, joining Changbin by the set table and leaving them to exchange amused glances.

Minho shouts a greeting to Hyunjin, waving with his free hand and taking the paper bag with cookies from Felix with the other. Heading for the kitchen to set everything down, he looks over his shoulder and finds Jisung staring back; it's only a second, and before he gets to send him a smile, Jisung is facing the laptop again.

Minho shrugs.

Knowing his way around Changbin's apartment, he gets a plate from the cupboard to lay Felix's cookies out. They look and smell delicious and Minho knows they taste even better; he steals one before anyone else gets to eat them because he's Felix's number one fan and deserves it.

Minho takes a mental note to praise his friend for baking such top tier cookies later and, grabbing a pack of soju, heads back to the living area, where Jeongin's face can already be seen on the screen.

"Hi, Minho!" he greets. "Have you seen already what Hyunjin's wearing?"

Minho squints, trying to take a better look while setting the cookies and soju down on the table among everything that has already been prepared. Changbin got them takeout and it smells like heaven; the missing two better hurry up before he digs into all this food, leaving them to enjoy the leftovers.

Hyunjin hides his face in hands as everyone giggles. He's wearing a button-up shirt, quite formal considering they're all in comfortable clothes but he still looks good. And it's adorable that he thought about dressing up just for a simple hangout with friends.

"I'm going to hang up if you keep making fun of me," Hyunjin threatens, but they are all well aware he won't do that; he's been quite vocal about missing them, and it's obvious he wouldn't miss a chance to have them all together in one place.

Minho leans against the back of Felix's chair. Quickly making up his mind, he reaches for another cookie, shoving it into his mouth right away. "They're amazing, like always," he says, patting Felix on the crown of his head. "Are you jealous you can't have any, Jinnie?"

"You're such an ass!" he yells, rolling his eyes. Minho takes great pleasure in annoying him. "Jisung, you have to eat them all, just so Minho doesn't. I swear, they're incredible. Best cookies in the world."

Joke is on him-if Minho were to steal the plate and run, Jisung would be the only person he'd share the cookies with.

Jisung chuckles but doesn't reach to take one. Minho doesn't know what's wrong, but if something is, Felix's cookies definitely will make it better. He sighs, stretching his arm just to push the plate further towards him.

"Come on, you have to try."

They all watch him, focused and waiting, as if Jisung trying out a cookie is top tier entertainment. He looks unsure, but after the first bite, he pushes it all into his mouth. Still munching, he shows a thumbs up and Minho feels Felix relaxing where his hand lies on his shoulder.

"I thought you were just exaggerating but they're seriously amazing." Turning to Felix for the first time in a while, Jisung asks, "Are you a part-time baker, too? Minho said you work together."

Felix visibly lights up at the question; it's clear that he wants to become friends but it's hard to overcome the barrier of awkwardness. "No, no. Cooking and baking is just a hobby."

Jisung quirks an eyebrow. "You cook, too?"

"Yeah, I'm the only reason why Minho remembers to eat during the day."

"I'm not the same person I was back then!" he tries to defend himself but it doesn't work with everyone ganging up to prove him wrong.

Everyone but Jisung.

He has fallen strangely quiet, although Minho hears him chuckle when Jeongin recalls coming across Minho eating up ramen in a convenience store at 2 a.m. one day, having forgotten to eat in between classes and awoken in the middle of the night. It isn't like Jisung to be this quiet-Minho makes it his mission to observe him out of the corner of his eye.

When the doorbell rings, almost drowned out in their laughter, Jisung is the one to spring out of his chair, as if he has been waiting all along to stand up. Minho watches him with concern but, even as he walks into the living room with the missing duo, talking to Seungmin in a hushed tone, he doesn't dare to ask if something's wrong.

Jisung would tell him if he wasn't feeling well, wouldn't he? It must be just Minho's overprotectiveness playing tricks on his tired mind.

His worry melts to nothing as Jisung takes his seat again and, catching Minho's gaze, sends him a soft smile. It's enough to make Minho feel warm all over and make the pleasant warmth stay, even when they all finally dig into their food; Hyunjin and Jeongin included, although only virtually.

Minho has to admit he missed seeing them all together like this. Especially Jisung-it has been a while since Jisung was sitting among them. And he wishes to meet up again once Hyunjin and Jeongin are back in town, even if just to get drunk and fall asleep on the fluffy carpet in Changbin's living room.

When more empty than full bottles sit on the table, Minho offers to bring what's left in the kitchen. He hasn't had a drop of alcohol tonight, having come here by car and bearing the responsibility of getting Felix home safe and sound, but he feels just as giddy as his tipsy friends.

He strolls to the spacious kitchen, heading straight for the fridge and swinging the door open to grab all the bottles of soju they have left and set them on the island. Humming, Minho sways his hips to the melody playing in his head and grabs a bottle of juice for himself, reaching to the refrigerator to get some ice. He doesn't hear the approaching footsteps and jumps, startled, knocking his head against the fridge.

Groaning in pain, he massages the sore spot and blinks to make out a familiar figure in the darkness. With only the refrigerator providing them with light, Jisung is quick to switch the ceiling lights on.

"Shit, are you okay?" he asks and rushes to help Minho up from the floor. Turning him around, he inspects the back of his head for injuries but, fortunately, doesn't find any.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," Minho tells him, even though he can still feel the sore spot pulsating.

Well, he will definitely need the ice now.

As Jisung's hand drops to his side again, leaving Minho with lingering warmth where his fingers have brushed against his scalp, they share a strange moment of intimacy, standing in the middle of Changbin's kitchen, far too close for comfort.

"Why are you sneaking up on me like this?"

Jisung takes a step back. "I wasn't sneaking. Just thought you might use some help carrying all this stuff." He nods towards the counter.

It's not a strange thing to do, it's just Jisung being nice and helpful like always, but with the way he's looking at him, Minho can't shake off the feeling that there's something more to it. He's afraid to ask what it is.

Instead, Minho moves away, reaching to one of the cabinets to get a tall glass. As he's throwing ice cubes and pouring grape juice in, Jisung moves to stand on the other side of the counter, watching him as if it's the most interesting thing he has ever seen.

It's only when he speaks up, that Minho sets the bottle of juice down.

"So, how long have you and Felix been dating?"

Minho blinks. He actually looks up at Jisung and doesn't rely on casting tentative glances from under his eyelashes.

And Jisung isn't looking at him. He's drawing patterns into the countertop with his finger, seemingly absent-minded. But Minho knows he's just trying to seem nonchalant, and it only gives him proof that this question might have been bothering Jisung for some time.

"We aren't dating," he says eventually, holding his mind back from straying into the dangerous territory of what ifs and whys with the remainder of his strength.

Jisung looks up, hesitant, as if he's afraid that Minho's expression might have changed-from the neverending fondness, to something grave. It hasn't. If anything, Minho has grown even more curious.

"Oh. You two just seem really... close and I assumed-"

Minho cuts in, a little too fast. "I'm not-I'm not dating anyone."

It's quite embarrassing to admit that there have been multiple people throughout the years that have tried to catch his attention but none of them managed to push Jisung off the center of Minho's foolish mind. So he doesn't.

Minho falls silent and takes in the relief that flashes over Jisung's face, allowing himself a moment of confidence.

They spend a moment enveloped in silence, a soft cloak of warmth shielding them from the rest of the world as they stare at each other with identical soft smiles. Minho doesn't want this atmosphere to change, this bubble of serenity to burst, he doesn't want to go-or, rather, he does; he wants to leave with Jisung's hand in his, to take him somewhere nice where they could be together, just the two of them, without tipsy friends calling their names from the living room.

Jisung sighs. He pushes himself off the counter and bones in his back crack when he straightens up. Minho stifles a chuckle but Jisung still sends him a glare. It doesn't do much to scare Minho away-quite the opposite; Minho finds himself bumping his hip into Jisung's as he comes closer to stand on his side of the kitchen island.

Their hands barely brush when they grab the bottles of soju set on the counter but Minho still feels heat rushing throughout his whole body, beginning with the place where Jisung's skin met his. He feels like a teenager again, clinging onto the affection, every second of undivided attention can get from the person he likes so much, with butterflies feeling at home in his stomach and fire tickling his heart. It's a familiar kind of warmth, one that he felt all these years ago, one that hasn't faltered, growing even stronger than before.

Loving Jisung is familiar. Being loved by him, an adventure.

For now, Minho allows this conversation to hang over them, to wait patiently until they're in a place different than a dimly lit kitchen because it has been doing just that for a while now, there's nothing stopping it from being pushed back just for another evening.

Minho is fine with that; the strange tugging at his heartstrings as they walk back to the living room and Jisung glances over his shoulder, right at him, and breaks into a smile, the wave of serenity when their eyes lock that feels more like putting on a warm sweater on an autumn evening, it all serves as a proof that there's something they both want to talk about, and that they will.

He lets himself be hopeful.

Felix and Seungmin are the only ones left sitting by the table, with a laptop in front of them, munching on chips and sipping the expensive wine they have stolen from Changbin's bar cabinet a while ago without him noticing. Jisung pauses and, sparing Minho one last look, strolls their way to plop on the chair next to Felix and easily jump into the conversation they're having with Hyunjin and Jeongin.

Minho's heart swells.

He lets out a soft sigh and flops on the black leather couch next to Changbin. Chan-sitting on the armrest as if there isn't enough space-gladly accepts the bottle of apple flavored soju Minho holds out for him and pours it into his and Changbin's glasses.

Time flies when you're in a good company-Minho doesn't have to drink to have fun with his friends and, above that, he finds himself glad that he hasn't had a drop of liquor; he wants to remember all of this.

Chan's excitement as he talks about one of the projects he has just started, producing a mini album for some big name in the industry that he can't share the name of yet. Changbin's laughter and the way he keeps stealing glances towards the table, where Hyunjin's face is lit up with a smile on the laptop screen. Jeongin, who's downing a bottle of wine, lying in his bed. Seungmin and Felix, leaning against each other, laughing so hard that all Minho can make out is "new episode", "Mothman", and "bridge".

He wants to remember the way he runs a hand through his hair, how he slaps the table in a fit of laughter, how he looks at Minho and seems surprised to find him looking back. He smiles, soft and precious as always, even though he looks tired.

They share a look of understanding, both wishing they could just stand up and leave together, although they are doing just fine in here; Minho doesn't mind sitting on this couch, with a cushion in his lap, only because Jisung looks at him like that, and it feels like there's no one else but them two.

It's a silent conversation between two pairs of fond eyes.

Or three, because Minho can feel Changbin drilling holes into his skull. He winks at Jisung in the last attempt to make things more light-hearted and grins when he catches a glimpse of him rolling his eyes and pulling a face before diving right back into the conversation happening next to him.

Changbin's eyebrows are raised when Minho turns to face him. He's wearing that stupidly smug expression and it doesn't take long before Chan has one matching his perfectly.

"What's up with the new development?"

Minho rolls his eyes at Changbin's question, but he's a fool in love and there's nothing he can do to hold back the smile tugging at his lips. "Nothing. Yet."

"Remind me," Chan starts, rubbing his chin like he's standing in a chips aisle, having a hard time deciding on the flavor, "how long has it been? Ten years?"

"You're all dramatizing."

Minho throws the cushion right into Chan's face when he laughs, but it's futile-Chan catches it before it hits him because he's perfect and has amazing reflexes that save him from morons like Minho that would gladly suffocate him with a silk pillow.

"It hasn't been that long. A few years, yes, but not ten. Don't make me look like a loser," Minho huffs, pretending to be annoyed; he isn't as good of an actor-maybe Jisung can teach him some time-and his friends all see through him.

"Those soft little side glances you keep sending him make you look like a loser," Changbin says, slapping his thigh. His eyes widen as he turns to Chan. "Write that down, we need to start writing a song for their wedding."

Minho groans. The tips of his ears still heat up, traitorous, but he makes no effort to hide it, instead taking a long sip of his grape juice. Then, he says, a little more quietly, "Let me just ask him out on a date first, alright?"

Chan tilts his head to the side, cocking an eyebrow. "You do realize that he'd literally marry you right here and now if you asked him to?"

Minho chuckles to cover up his embarrassment. "I'd marry Changbin if he asked me. It doesn't mean-" he cuts off, seeing Chan's pointed look. "You can't say that. I'm too old for these jokes."

Changbin takes a deep breath, as if he's preparing to make a very long speech, but Chan interrupts. He rests a hand over his shoulder and says, "Don't bother. Let's just enjoy the show."

Minho hopes and prays it will change.

He doesn't get the chance to actually bite back and tease his friends like they tease him because he hears his name coming from the other side of the room.

"It's actually Minho's. He cuts off tags so I don't know where he bought it but maybe he'll remember."

He snaps his head towards the table, where Felix's hand is riding up and down Jisung's arm, the sleeve of his navy blue hoodie. Quirking an eyebrow, he wonders when they have gotten this close.

"It's super soft," Felix nods.

Jisung isn't looking at him, he's fully focused on Minho. His lips curl up in a soft smile as he adds, "I stole it from him before I left."

Minho clicks his tongue in disagreement. Tilting his head to the side, with a hint of a smile in his voice, he says, "Don't make yourself look cooler than you are. I gave it up willingly."

He remembers it all too well, offering to drive Jisung to the airport, even though his heart ached and throbbed and he couldn't imagine having to see him walk away. But Minho wanted to spend every second he had left right by Jisung's side, he wanted to be the last thing Jisung sees at home, because maybe-just maybe-it would make Jisung remember him.

Minho desperately didn't want him to forget.

And, when Jisung had asked to have his favorite hoodie because it would keep him warm and soft all through the awful plane ride, Minho hadn't even batted an eye, pushing it right into his arms.

He remembers the silence as they stood in the airport, Jisung's glistening eyes and the stinging behind his own. They didn't know what to say back then, even though there were so many things that should have been said.

Minho remembers hugging Jisung goodbye, squeezing him over and over and not wanting to let go; remembers feeling the helpless urge to just lay his heart out in front of him, not knowing if Jisung would ever come back here to hear it; remembers how there was nothing in the world he wanted more than to kiss him.

But Jisung pulled away, swallowed down the tears and said, "I miss you," even though he was still standing right in front of Minho and Minho knew it a rushed confession would only ruin things for both of them.

It hurt-a part of him was being ripped out and Minho was doomed to stay with a hollow in his chest for the rest of his life, with the knowledge there was only one person in the whole wide world that could fill it. And that person was drifting seven thousand miles away from him.

When Jisung disappeared from his sight, Minho's mask of quiet hurt crumbled. He managed to make it back to his car without crying but had to turn the radio off, fearing he wouldn't last long if Jisung's playlist they had been listening to on their way here started blaring through the speakers. Once he got home, though, he let it all out.

He wasn't only losing someone he liked romantically. Minho was losing his other half. His best friend. He was losing Jisung, who understood him like no one else in the world, who was on his side even when Minho was wrong, who held his hand through hard times and danced with him when he was happy.

He didn't know if he could ever build a relationship like this with anyone else.

But now Jisung's hand is brushing against his as he walks them all the way to the parking lot and Minho is attacked by millions of butterflies he has already managed to make friends with from how often he feels them.

Felix walks away with a quiet "I'll leave you two" and a childish wink at Minho as soon as his car comes into view. They come to a halt, pausing under the streetlight, studying each other's faces without saying a word.

Minho's heart thumps, but it's not painful like all these years ago when he had to let the person he loves go. Minho's heart is happy, skipping and dancing in his chest, having the time of its life with Jisung so close.

He doesn't know what might happen next, he has no confirmation that what they have now will last, he doesn't know anything, but as Jisung pulls him into a hug, Minho feels warm all over, and the flame of hope burning beneath his heart tells him things will be alright.

▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃▃

He groans, pausing the TV and setting the glass of wine on the coffee table and scrambles himself off the couch. Not expecting any guests and not appreciating people disrupting him while he's ogling his wife Jennifer, Minho is ready to tell whoever is standing on the other side of the wall to get the hell out.

He isn't prepared, however, to unlock the door and see Jisung on his doorstep. All his plans of sending the intruder off crumble to nothing when Jisung looks up with a shy smile. Minho blinks.

"Hi, I was hoping you'd be home," Jisung greets, lifting a paper bag.

Minho's mouth waters as soon as the smell of warm food hits his nose. He clears his throat, reminding himself that it's nothing special, that his heart rate shouldn't speed up just because it's a Monday evening and Jisung has come over with takeout to spend it with him.

"Hey," he breathes, heart stuttering when Jisung's smile widens.

Minho might not make it through the night.

Stepping aside, he lets him come in and closes the front door as Jisung is taking off his shoes in the corridor. He tries to steady his breathing, but it doesn't work-Jisung is straightening up in no time, with that soft smile on his face, and air is knocked out of Minho's lungs once again.

"Sorry for coming unannounced. Changbin's at work, I didn't wanna be alone, and, well," he chuckles, shrugging. "I just wanted to see you. Hope I'm not bothering you."

Minho presses his lips together to fight back a smile and fails miserably. He considers things for a second and eventually decides to fuck it all, decides to let Jisung see just how happy he makes him.

"Don't worry about that, alright? I was just watching TV. You showing up has already made my evening," he says, beginning to walk towards the living room.

He catches a glimpse of his own reflection in the mirror hung on the wall and freezes, stopping in his tracks. Minho wasn't expecting to see anyone today, and he's just lazing around at home, wearing a hoodie and a pair of sweatpants that have a wine stain but they're too comfortable to throw out.

Not the best outfit to be having your crush over in.

"Uh, you can sit down or look around or something, just... make yourself at home. I'll be right back," Minho tells him and, not waiting for an answer, rushes to his bedroom to jump to the closet and rummage through it like his life depends on it.

He kicks off his sweatpants and changes into black wide leg trousers, figuring the dark green hoodie he's already wearing can do. Sighing, Minho stands in front of the mirror to take one last glance at his reflection and runs fingers through his hair to make it look presentable. He fights the urge to spray himself with perfume-that would be too much.

Jisung is studying the bookcase-or rather one of the frames perched up on one of the shelves-when he comes back. He turns around, hearing Minho's footsteps on the hardwood floor.

"I have mine framed, too," he says, gesturing to the photostrips from their trips back in high school. Not waiting for Minho to reply, he turns to face the bookcase again and, with a hint of a smile in his voice, carries on, "We were something, don't you think so?"

Minho only hums in response, afraid words may fail him. His heart begins to race and he wonders if this is it, if he can jump right into Jisung and lay his whole soul out bare in front of him.

Jisung is still smiling when he walks over to the couch and plops down, drawing his knees to his chest. He sends Minho an expectant look, but Minho isn't ready to sit so close to him just yet. He might not last long if Jisung keeps looking at him this way.

"Want some wine?"

Jisung nods. His eyes follow Minho when he heads towards the kitchen and reaches to the cabinet to get a glass, leaving warmth where they linger over his skin as his hoodie rides up. He probably thinks Minho doesn't notice, but he does.

Minho grins to himself.

He sits on the couch turned slightly to the side and pours a generous amount of wine into both glasses. It's funny how Jisung isn't even hiding, watching him without an ounce of shame. He doesn't know what has changed, what has him openly ogling Minho now, but he would be lying if he said he isn't enjoying it.

This look, the flirty glint in his eyes, makes Minho feel wanted; Jisung staring at him this way is almost like a dream come true. Almost, because Minho is greedy and he always wants more.

And when he hands Jisung his glass, Jisung makes their fingers brush, even though he could easily take his wine without any skin contact; he makes it clear that everything he's doing is on purpose. Minho has to figure out what's the purpose-beside trying to rile him up-before his weak heart gives out and mind turns into complete mush.

Quirking an eyebrow, with a curious grin, Jisung has the audacity to ask, "Did you really change your clothes?"

Minho splutters, surprised. He didn't think he would notice, he didn't think Jisung would even pay attention to what he's wearing. But he has been perceiving so many things in a different way than they are in reality when it comes to the man sitting next to him; and, once again, being proved wrong takes his breath away.

Minho clears his throat, glaring at Jisung for laughing. "I'm not having you over wearing gross old sweatpants," he says. "Besides, I wanted to look... neat."

Jisung takes a sip of the wine, running tongue over his lips. "You look neat when you're comfortable. You know, not trying to be perfect. Even though... even though it feels like you are."

If Minho wasn't so head over heels for him, he would have laughed at the cheesiness. But this is Jisung, the person he has had feelings for for at least six years and the embarrassing flirting got ripped from him for four of them; Minho allows his face to flush bright red.

Because who doesn't like the feeling of being marvelled at? Who feels no rush of electricity over their skin with just one look into the eyes of the person their soul belongs to? Who can turn a deaf ear to sweet words of affection when they come from a sincere heart?

Minho can't.

"I don't-I don't know how to respond."

Jisung's soft smile disappears as he takes a sip of wine out of his glass. With the mischievous fire lingering in his eyes, though, Minho begins to wonder when this kid has become so confident, to the point it's so easy to make him a blushing mess. It's quite funny how the roles have reversed since high school, but Minho wouldn't have it any other way.

Minho doesn't mention how he started this show just because Jisung posted about having been watching it on Instagram once. Jisung would never let it go.

So he just shrugs and says, "I'll go get us chopsticks and we can eat," before standing up to make a round to the kitchen and back.

Turns out, Jisung not only remembers exactly what food Minho likes but would also take a bullet for his favorite character. It's silly and insignificant, and yet Minho's heart grows in his chest with the reminder that, even though years have passed, they still fit each other like two puzzle pieces.

After this episode ends, they let the next one start on autoplay despite having already eaten up. Minho fills their glasses with wine again and when he leans back on the couch this time, he finds himself way closer to Jisung than he has been throughout the entire evening. It's not like he minds it-quite the opposite-but he swings his arm over the back of the couch to be more comfortable this way. Jisung's amused look doesn't escape his attention, even as he pretends to be focused on the screen.

It's nice-way nicer than spending the evening in the same way but alone.

Having someone open their mouth and blabber while watching normally pisses Minho off, but he doesn't mind it when Jisung shoots funny comments as they make their way through another episode.

He doesn't know when but at some point over the last half an hour, Jisung's head has fallen onto Minho's shoulder. He only realizes that revelation when he finishes his glass of wine and leans forward to set it on the coffee table.

Jisung whines, wrapping his arm around Minho's bicep and trying to pull him back. "I was getting comfortable and you just had to move."

"Getting sleepy?"

Minho squints trying to see what time it is on the digital clock on the oven since he can't tell where his phone is, and can't make it out. Yeah, maybe he should make that optician appointment.

It must be late, anyway; they have made it through three episodes together and the fourth one has just started. Jisung will probably want to go home soon.

"No," he mumbles. "You just make a good pillow. And you're warm."

His cheek is pressed against Minho's shoulder again but when Minho looks down at him, Jisung is looking back, with his sparkling, dark eyes piercing through Minho's soul and face so, so close to his.

Minho swallows.

"Do you have somewhere to be tomorrow morning?"

Jisung raises his eyebrows in a questioning look. "No. I'm going on an apartment hunt in the afternoon but... Other than that, I don't have any plans."

Minho could leave it at that, could pretend that no question is weighing on the tip of his tongue, but he's greedy, and some part of him-made braver by all the wine he has drunk-is hoping that all of this means something. That Jisung feels the same way.

So he asks, "Wanna stay over for the night?"

It might mean nothing-they have spent countless nights sleeping in the same bed back when they were teenagers, limbs tangled, pressed together as if there wasn't enough space, and it never changed anything between them.

But it might mean everything, if only Jisung decides to read more into it.

Minho's breath catches in his throat. If the look in Jisung's eyes is anything to go by, he's definitely reading more into it.

Letting go of Minho and shifting, he turns to face him. His elbow rests on the back of the couch as he props up, palm cupping the side of his face. Jisung grins, satisfied with how Minho watches his every move, and it looks like he's trying to test how long it will take for him to break.

"I wanna stay," he says softly.

Minho isn't ready to risk everything they have but he's afraid he won't survive the night if he doesn't say anything. And there's so much he wants to say.

Criminal Minds on the TV long forgotten, he reaches for the remote to turn it off. Jisung's eyes follow him, putting a strange weight on his shoulders and relieving him of all the tension at the same time.

He leans back, taking his spot on the couch again, but a moment passes before he gathers the courage to look at Jisung properly. He's not usually this way, but this evening is much more significant than anything he has ever had.

So Minho cracks a smile and says, "I like you."

The whole world pauses for a moment and, despite how easy it turned out to be to say it out loud, he frantically searches for any signs of discomfort on Jisung's face. He doesn't find any.

Instead, Jisung's whole face lights up as he breaks into a smile, so wide that his mouth forms the shape of a heart. Minho can't remember if he's ever seen him this happy throughout all the years of their friendship.

"I like you, too," Jisung tells him, and Minho knows that himself he has never been happier.

He has known this-has had a hunch for a while now-but hearing the words aloud shocks him just the same.

His heart skips a beat, blood rings in his ears, but he doesn't know what happens next. He hasn't thought that far into the future, hasn't thought it all through when his confession was on a spur of the moment.

Minho knows it must show on his face because Jisung lets out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. The living room falls silent until he lifts his eyes again, locking them with Minho's.

Jisung waits for a moment, observing with a quirked eyebrow, before deciding Minho isn't going to do anything other than smile at him, as if saying that confession is already enough.

But, apparently, for Jisung it isn't.

"Are you going to kiss me or not?" he asks, tilting his head to the side. "I've been waiting for years now. Don't leave me hanging."

Minho chokes on his spit. "What do you mean years-"

He doesn't get to finish. Jisung laughs, closes the space between them, resting his hand on the couch on the other side of Minho's body, and brings their lips together. Minho's head spins.

Years of daydreaming don't come close to what kissing Jisung feels like.

His lips brush against Minho's tentatively, just enough for him to taste the sweetness, the trace of wine they have been drinking this entire evening, before Jisung pulls away.

"Is this okay?" he whispers, gaze flickering back and forth from Minho's mouth to his eyes. The confidence from a moment ago is gone, replaced by the nervousness Minho has been feeling for the past weeks and years-Jisung worries about destroying what they have.

Minho tugs him closer with regained vigour, wanting to make clear how okay it is. He doesn't waste any more time-just one chaste kiss isn't enough to make up for all the years of dreaming, it's not enough to satisfy him after he got a taste.

Jisung lets out a soft gasp as Minho pulls him into his lap but it dies down as their mouths crash together again. His hands move to rest on the nape of Minho's neck, travelling up and brushing through his blond hair.

Minho melts.

He's fighting back a smile, doing everything just to keep the feeling of Jisung's kisses for as long as he can. He takes it all in-how soft his lips are and how they fit his own perfectly, moving against them like they have already done this a million times before, like they have had chances upon chances to figure out what feels best.

Minho humms against Jisung's mouth, with his hands on his hips, pulling him forward until their chests collide. He doesn't know why but he needs to have him as close as possible. Minho doesn't want to let go, some part of him still fearing that the spell would break.

But when Jisung pulls away, it's barely any distance, and Minho chases his lips to steal one last peck before resting their foreheads together.

He already knows how Jisung feels about him, has heard the words falling from his lips, but something about this moment, about having his undivided attention and being on the receiving side of his fond gaze makes Minho nervous.

"I never told you," he breathes right into Jisung's lips, still delirious from the kiss, "but I fell in love with you back in high school. I should've told you."

Jisung laughs. He throws his head back and if Minho didn't have his arms looped around his waist, Jisung would have fallen back and onto the floor.

Minho flushes bright red, suddenly shy about what he has just said, but he isn't going to take it back; the thought of retracting doesn't even cross his mind. If Jisung is to know, he should know it all.

He stops laughing but a soft smile lingers on his lips as he locks eyes with Minho again. He lets out a sigh, slightly shaking his head, and tells him, "I'm not even surprised to be honest. I've always been a catch."

Minho puts on a stone expression and pushes him off his lap. "Get out."

Jisung's laugh bounces off the walls of the living room. Minho keeps pretending his heart isn't pounding, threatening to escape his chest, just so he doesn't give that loser the sweet satisfaction of having so much impact on him. Judging by the mischievous glint in his eyes, though, he's doing a terrible job.

Jisung knows. Of course he does. There's no one else in the world who can read Minho better than him.

The smug curl of the corners of his lips vanishes, melting into a sweet smile as he swings one leg over Minho's lap to straddle him again. Minho finds it funny how his hands instantly find their way to his waist, as if it's their destined place. Hold on and don't let go, his mind tells him.

"No-No, let me speak," Jisung mutters, pressing their foreheads together.

Minho likes this new type of intimacy between them and likes how easy it is to be this close. It feels right, having Jisung's body pressed against his.

"Yes, I will. Just because I'm quite curious about what you meant by waiting for years."

Jisung chuckles softly as if he knew all along that this was the part Minho would focus on. He moves away, eyes falling to Minho's lips, and doesn't waste time to kiss him again, gently and with so much affection.

Minho feels dizzy.

"All this time," Jisung starts, swallowing, "I've liked you, too. I was-I thought I was just confused back then. Because, you know, puberty and shit and we spent every second together and I didn't know a lot of things back then. And I was scared to ruin everything."

He wishes he said it sooner, confessed his feelings all those years ago and maybe things would be different now. But there was something holding him back, as if it wasn't the right time.

So Minho understands his hesitance. Minho can relate to it.

Realizing you have feelings for a friend is hard. Sorting them out and figuring what exactly they mean even harder.

And when he finally gathered the courage to come forward, to do something about the tension in between them, everything came crashing down. Jisung left.

The hands caressing his neck remind Minho that he's here now. They're fine-they are more than fine.

"I don't regret not telling you then," Minho admits. "Even though I wanted to, I know now that it was for the better. You studied what you always wanted to, you've lived on the other side of the world and it's always been your dream. I-I would've been holding you back."

Minho exhales. Despite everything, he smiles. It doesn't change his view on this whole situation-he still firmly believes they did the right thing-but his heart feels warm with the confirmation that all this time, they have loved each other in the same way and it all lasted four years of separation.

"I'm happy I have you," Minho whispers. His own smile widens as one blooms across Jisung's face. "You're stuck with me now."

"You don't even know how annoying I've become. You'll want me gone in no time."

Even though Jisung is only joking, Minho shakes his head to make it clear that there's no chance he would ever want to be without him.

Despite his mind screaming for him not to voice that out, despite the mental alarm blaring and the red lights flashing, Minho presses their lips together in a chaste kiss and says, "I've been waiting for you all my life, I'm not letting you go any time soon."

He can't bring himself to feel embarrassed but heat still rushes to his cheeks, painting them bright red. Not when Jisung looks at him this way-with sheer fondness-and he feels himself falling in love with his heart-shaped smile again.

All these years and he still isn't immune to Jisung's charms.

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All These Years - hanville - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Minho's usual iced coffee leaves a much sweeter aftertaste on his tongue than usually when he finishes the cup. He's got a few more paragraphs of Yuna's essay to go through before he needs to leave; there is room for another cup.

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Summary

Jisung jerks his head up, eyes wide until he is swiftly and painfully reminded that he has a hangover and hisses, squinting against the onslaught of the morning sun streaming through the windows and reflecting off of the cafe's bright interior.

"Sorry, what?" It takes him a second to remember that he's working, and then he backtracks, blinking at the very attractive man who just wants to order coffee, probably. "I mean - hi, what can I get started for you?"

The very attractive man laughs like Jisung just told a hilarious joke. "I'm sorry, you were just looking at the register like it holds all of the secrets of the universe. Rough night?"

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hollywood forever - bulletbulletbullet - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary Jisung jerks his head up, eyes wide until he is swiftly and painfully reminded that he has a hangover and hisses, squinting against the onslaught of the morning sun streaming through the windows and reflecting off of the cafe's bright interior.

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you’re just an ordinary girl who wants to be a main character (a playlist)

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OMG THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR ❣

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KPOP Epic Orchestral Collection (Vol.1) | By JIAERN

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This is awesome TvT

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Chapter Text

Jisung says, "do you ever think about how sad the term 'ill fated' is?"

Minho continues poking at the kimchi fried rice, but his thoughts halt their fuzzy, inchoate ramble and direct themselves to what Jisung just said. As he thinks, Jisung continues.

"I mean - I saw this video, you know. About ill-fated ships and before they began their journey, those people were standing on the deck and waving and cheering," he sighs and though Minho can't see him, he knows that Jisung is ruffling his hair. "Then the next footage we have is of the ship on the sea's floor, lost and broken."

Minho sprinkles more salt into the pan. "The seafloor is a graveyard," he agrees. "It is sad that it is the final resting place of many."

"But what is sadder is the fact that they didn't know that they were ill-fated. Isn't it sad how you never know what's going to happen?"

The spicy, pungent scent of the food clouds the room and Minho's mouth waters. He has not eaten in hours. "I know that I am going to bury my face in this rice," he says as he turns off the gas. "You better be quick if you want some."

Jisung sighs, but he's smiling. "Every day is a battle."

You never know what will happen. It runs through Minho's mind as he pats his sheet mask so that it adheres to the contours of his skin. Once satisfied, he sits on his bed and scrolls through his phone, but he can't really focus because it strikes him that he never really knew what was going to happen to him when he came to this city at the age of seventeen. Here he is eight years later, not an idol, not a dancer, but a salary man with a respectable firm and so deeply in love that he is scared and elated all at once.

He opens the chat box that he has with Jisung and types: not knowing what is going to happen makes life bearable. You don't anticipate pain and the good things are a pleasant surprise.

Jisung replies: I would rather know if I am going to die. Or suffer. So that I can brace myself or not enter the ship at all. I think what I want is a choice to decide for myself about what path to take.

Minho says: But would you choose a path filled with pain?

After a long time Jisung replies: Pain is important too. It gives us perspective about life.

Jisung gets accepted to the college. There was no doubt about it and a week passes in a haze of celebration. Then the work starts.

"I am already scared of packing," Jisung pouts, as he scrolls through his laptop. "I basically have to pack enough of my twenty-three years of life to sustain me for two years in a foreign country."

Minho leaves his place near the arm of the sofa and cuddles into Jisung's side. He presses a kiss to Jisung's neck. "You know I'll help you right?" Jisung smells like lavender and warm cotton. Minho buries his head into his shoulder.

"I know," Jisung says, and Minho can hear the rumble of his voice through his shoulder blade. "But it is scary."

Minho hates that you get used to smells so quickly. That you breathe in a few times and your brain stops savouring it. He drags his face away from Jisung's shoulder and looks at him. Jisung is still staring at his laptop, but he's chewing his lips, and the light gives his skin a washed out hue.

Jisung turns his head, eyes downcast. "What about us?" he whispers. He is staring at Minho's mouth.

"We'll figure it out," Minho says, softly. "It's just two years."

Jisung says, "I love you so much."

There's a month and two weeks left till Jisung leaves. Minho spends his office hours immersed in work with a vague unease curdling in his stomach and his free time helping Jisung. There's so much work that there's no time to talk about anything except the things at hand.

But it's midnight and the only thing that is on hand is Jisung's hand in his. He squeezes Jisung's fingers. "I love you too," he says. In the following silence, he studies Jisung, traces the curve of his cheekbone and the jut of his jaw. Jisung's eyes are flickering over his face, too and Minho exhales, feeling something give away in his chest. "What if time-" he pauses, unsure if he should say the words that will clip the threads of sleep and fondness that is woven around them.

"What if?" Jisung prompts, kissing all the tips of Minho's fingers.

Jisung weighs his questions. The modern fan whirs with smooth efficiency, too proud for the sonorous rattle of the older models. "I know," Jisung says, "we'll have to...," he raises his shoulder in a half shrug, "we'll have to face it together."

"Yes," Minho whispers, untangling his hands from Jisung and pulling him close. "We'll - deal with it when we come to it."

Jisung huffs a laugh and it vibrates against Minho's neck. Minho shivers. "You talk like we're preparing for a battle."

Minho flushes, faintly. "Sorry," he says into the darkened corners of the ceiling, "I'm just sad," he admits. It is easier to say things now that he would balk at before. It is because Jisung takes everything he says and cherishes it. How can he say no to that? "I'll miss you terribly."

Jisung's arm is around his waist and he squeezes. "I already do - I mean, I am proactively sad for everything that I'll miss. Like our birthdays, for example. We don't do anything fancy, but I am already missing it. It's weird."

Minho sniffs, "I expect a midnight call," he says though he doesn't, "and you're just weird."

Jisung's bark of laughter echoes in the room, "and here I was really getting into the sappiness," he says. "Please tell me how much you'll miss me and weep for me!"

"You're a spoilt brat," Minho informs him. "Now face the other side."

Jisung grumbles, but does as he's told. Minho attaches himself to his back and nuzzles his shoulder. He doesn't know when he falls asleep; somewhere between Jisung chuckling at a video and the rumble of a bus on the street he closes his eyes. He drifts away with the gentleness of a leaf caught in water.

He dreams of the sea.

His childhood home stands silent and strangely ramshackle though his parents had just had it repaired recently. Jisung in his dining room, eating, as he talks about something that Minho understands only because it is a dream of his own making. But there's no sound, only the roar of the sea echoes in the room like the presence of an unseen guest. When he glances out of the window, he sees the lighthouse looming.

He wakes up to an empty bed, the fan whirring in full speed. He checks the time - six A.M. - and since he can't hear any noise in the bathroom, he grudgingly wraps himself in his blanket and drags himself to the living room.

Jisung is sitting on the sofa, watching something on his laptop. Minho harrumphs though it is futile since Jisung has his headphones on. He trudges to the sofa and cuddles into Jisung's side. He has to wake up in an hour anyway. Might as well cuddle.

Jisung raises his arm to accommodate him, but Minho nudges the laptop until Jisung removes it from his lap. Minho rests his head on his thigh and exhales when Jisung runs a finger through his hair. "Did you sleep?" he asks.

"No," Jisung tugs gently at a knot in Minho's hair, "I couldn't stop thinking."

"Mhm," Minho says, sleep already curling around awareness, snuffing it slowly.

"I couldn't stop thinking if I should enter the ship or not, you know," Jisung's fingers still in his hair. A beat. "I am so fucking terrified."

Minho blinks away the sleep from his eyes. "You have to go - you have to enter the ship," he insists, "you can't miss out on this." He pokes Jisung's chin until he looks down at Minho, "I'll kill you if you don't go."

"You're not uprooting your life," Minho interrupts, petting his cheek, "and I am not saying you'll be surrounded by friends right off the bat or something. It's not easy in the beginning and it'll be full of days when you feel lost," Minho exhales deeply, "but you'll manage. Everything will be fine eventually," he says, "more than fine."

Jisung is silent. Minho drops his gaze.

Minho squirms a little, embarrassed by his outburst and he fiddles with the blanket. "But I will be there for you," he adds, voice so soft that it is nearly lost to the chirping of the birds outside. "And you have plenty of friends here who care for you."

Jisung leans down, the crack of his back echoing in the room and places a sloppy kiss on Minho's forehead. "I wish you hadn't been so lonely and lost when you first came to the city," he says, voice wavering, head still bent over Minho's.

Minho cranes his neck and kisses Jisung on the tip of his nose first and then on his lips. "Aren't we talking about your crisis?"

"This is my crisis," Jisung says, straightening up. He sighs and ruffles his hair, "I need to sleep, I was this," he brings his index finger to his thumb, leaving only a breath of space between the two, "close to tears right now."

Then Minho says, "let's go to the sea." He sits up, shifts and turns until he is sitting on his folded knees and facing Jisung. The blanket is tight around his knees and ankles, but he doesn't fix it. He repeats, like a long forgotten hymn, "let's go to the sea."

Jisung blinks, surprised, but he tilts his head a little. "To any sea or your..."

"My home town," Minho says with a clarity that is out of place at such an early hour. Light starts filtering into the room, casts shadows in the shape of the windows on the wall.

"Okay, but why so suddenly?" Jisung asks, rubbing his eyes.

They say that when you need it the most, the sea calls to you. The salt of the sea calls to the salt in your blood. "We can spend some time together," Minho says, curling his fingers over the jut of his knee caps, "and I can show you my childhood home. But mostly it can be just the two of us."

Jisung licks his lips, his eyes drifting in thought. "That sounds perfect, but when can we go?"

Minho let's go of the image that has ensnared him: Jisung's silhouette against the lighthouse. Jisung at the top of the lighthouse. "I'll need to ask my parents first," he says, making a mental list, "and then ask Mrs. Choi to clear it for us. Maybe I could take a holiday from Friday to Monday," he pauses to think, "yeah, I need to use up my holidays anyway."

"So next week?" Jisung asks, smile lighting his face.

"Next week," Minho agrees.

He calls his mother during lunch time.

"Hello?" his mom says, sounding worried, "Minho, is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes," he says quickly, "um - I just wanted to ask you something." A sharp, hot wind blows in from the open window and he presses his fluttering tie to his stomach.

His mother makes a whistling sound of relief. "You scared me. You usually text," she says. "What is it?"

"I was thinking of taking Jisung to our cottage," he says, dropping his voice halfway and nodding at a co-worker who passes him, "...before he leaves. Is that fine?"

His mother is silent and Minho strokes his tie, waiting. His mother's voice is kinder when she speaks again, "of course. I'll tell Hana to fix it up and give you the keys," she says.

Minho smiles at his reflection in the window pane, "thanks," he says. Then, without quite knowing why, he says, "do you really think that the sea calls to us when we - when we need it the most?"

"Yes," mom says even before he can blink, "the sea - when you exist in the sea's orbit, it enfolds you," she says, then hesitates. Minho thinks of her shaping the words with her worn mouth, the same mouth he has. How sad is it that you know how you'll age watching your parents grow old? "The salt of the sea calls to the salt in your blood," she says with certainty, "and you have to go because it is the sea that's asking you to come."

Minho suddenly misses her. He swallows, drops his hand from his tie. "We're the people of the sea," he murmurs and he's seventeen again, promising his father that he'll never forget his roots, but knowing that he'll do everything to forget. When you're seventeen, it is easy to disbelieve.

"Yes," his mother says, now with a proud lilt to her tone, "and so it calls to us."

Minho texts Jisung after he ends the call with his mother. He says: step one done!

Jisung replies with a sweaty selca of himself because he's a brat. A text follows and it says: we should celebrate and there's a winky face at the end.

Jisung refuses to let him go and clings to him, sweaty, sticky and creating a mess. "No," he wails when Minho tries to get up from the bed for the second time.

"Jisungie," he cries, annoyed and amused in equal parts, "we need to clean up."

"Five minutes," Jisung grumbles and nips at his neck.

Minho manages to free himself from Jisung's grasping limbs and goes to the bathroom ignoring Jisung's betrayed howling. As he cleans himself, he can hear Jisung lamenting, but the words are muffled by the door and the rush of tap water. A glimpse in the mirror tells him that he's grinning like a loon, but he's so warm and full of simple joy that it is tingling in his fingertips.

When he exits the bathroom, he sees Jisung lying spread eagle on the bed, scrolling through his phone and saying, "woe, woe, woe," in a sing-song voice.

Minho rolls his eyes, "shut up. I was gone for five minutes. Now go clean up or I'm kicking you off the bed." He opens the closet door and picks up the first pair of briefs he sees. He turns to see Jisung groan and trundle to the bathroom. Minho slaps Jisung's bare ass when he passes by him and laughs at his wounded expression.

Later, when the lights are off and sleep is imminent, Jisung says, "you're going for the first time in a long while."

Minho nods, knowing that Jisung will be able to feel it. "I haven't been back after the repairs were done."

"Um," Jisung dithers and Minho looks at the blurred edges of his face. "Thank you for doing this," he says and kisses Minho.

There are a lot of things people say about the sea. Some people say that they have the sea in their veins and its salt at the back of their tongue. They say their blood rushes with a roar that is the same as the seas' and that they never lose their taste for it. They say that the salt in the sea calls to the salt in your blood.

Minho teeters somewhere in the middle of belief and disbelief. Never quite losing his footing, never straying to one end. But he says, hidden by the darkness, but too close to Jisung to actually hide, "I think the sea was calling to us."

Jisung is silent and Minho knows that he's groping for words. "It's something we believe," he rushes to say, "that the sea is a part of us and we are a part of it. And when we need it the most..." he rubs Jisung's arm, "it calls to us." Heat flares in his cheeks and there's a swirling discomfort of having revealed too much.

Minho flushes deeper and winces when Jisung flicks on the table lamp. He crawls on top of Minho and Minho's hands find their place on his waist. "What?" he asks, confused, the heat of his blush deepening when Jisung grins at him.

"Hyung," Jisung says, eyes twinkling, "are you blushing because you said the sweetest thing ever?"

Minho groans and covers his eyes with his forearm. "Shut up," he whines, but he knows that Jisung's in a teasing mood and that he's not going to let it go.

"But you're so cute, baby," Jisung says, pressing quick kisses to Minho's cheeks, nose, and chin. He drags Minho's hands away from his face and kisses his brows. "Leaving is going to be so hard," he murmurs, resting his forehead on Minho's.

"It'll be easy if you make a list of all my faults," Minho says and smiles when Jisung rears back with a laugh.

"That's an interesting solution," Jisung says and then his face softens. It is a stark sight against the white glow of the lamp that hits his face and the muddy darkness behind him. "When you say things like this, I feel like I am drowning," he says, "because I am so overwhelmed."

Much to his consternation, Minho finds himself flushing harder. Jisung is fiddling with his fingers, too and Minho's eyes burn when he realises that this - this cocoon, this shelter, this place that is an extension of the chamber of his heart - will be the first to change because Jisung will be miles away. It will be the first sign of a vacant space.

"There's more where that came from," Minho tells him even though he stumbles over the words, "and I think when we reach the sea, the floodgates will open."

"The floodgates are already open," Jisung grumbles and settles into his side of the bed."

"That they are," Minho agrees, clearing his throat.

In the morning, the fears of the night seem ridiculous. But in the night, time feels like sand, the grains of another day slipping away even before he can grasp it. A week passes in a haze. He has work and so does Jisung. Jisung also has to make arrangements for settling in a foreign country and handle the immense fear and pressure of stepping into the unknown.

Minho twitches, but controls his tongue. "You can have mine then," he says, holding up the container of bulgogi.

Jisung slams the box on the table. "I don't want bulgogi!" he says, "I texted you what you wanted!"

"I told you they ran out!" Minho snaps, "so I got what you eat literally every-"

Minho slams open a drawer and takes out a pair of chopsticks. "Do whatever you want," he says, "and talk to me when you're not acting like a child."

"Right, play the age card," Jisung snorts, rolling his eyes. "Young Jisungie, whom I have to coddle and scold," he says in a high pitched voice.

"You're being ridiculous," Minho tells him, softening his voice when he sees the gathering tears in Jisung's eyes. He sighs and places the container and chopsticks back on the table and takes a step closer to Jisung. "I am sorry that I didn't ask you," he says, gently touching Jisung's elbow, "we can order what you want."

Jisung blinks and the next moment he throws himself on Minho, crushing him against the edge of the table. "Sorry," he sobs, "sorry, I am such an idiot, I am sorry."

"It's okay," Minho says, rubbing his back, "shush, Jisungie."

Jisung sniffles, wet and loud. Minho winces and reaches a hand behind him to grab a tissue. "Here, do you want a tissue?" he asks.

Jisung detaches himself and sits on the floor before blowing his nose. Minho sits behind him, and drags him into his chest by putting his arms around his waist. "I'm here," he says, kissing Jisung's ear.

"I started packing today and already it's already going beyond the weight limit," Jisung says in the middle of sobs, "and I don't want to pack so early but my parents won't stop cribbing and I fought with them and they said they're not gonna help at all."

"They were probably just angry, baby," Minho says, squeezing his waist, "and it's better to start packing slowly, isn't it?"

Jisung blows his nose again, "it is too final," he says. "And my college keeps sending orientation related stuff and my head is spinning. I know I am being dumb."

Minho's heart pangs. "You're not dumb. You just had a stressful day."

Jisung doesn't stop crying, so Minho rocks him and waits for the spell to pass. Jisung cries like he's wrung out and burdened at the same time, like he's pouring out his sorrows and drinking in the air. Minho whispers in his ear, "it'll be okay, I am here, it's alright, everything will work out, love," but he doesn't know if Jisung registers it.

Eventually, Jisung's tears taper off, reduce to sniffles and then to hiccups. "I am so tired," he says when a shuddering breath - the end of tears - leaves his lips. "I am tired," he repeats.

"Eat a little, then we can sleep," Minho says, lips pressed against his ear. Jisung shivers, presses into Minho's chest. He nods.

They eat in silence. Jisung's eyes are swollen and he looks wan and when he puffs out his cheeks as he eats, the tear tracks are obvious. Minho picks at his food, the stone in his chest refusing to crumble. It sits there, a heaviness that can't be ignored.

"I'll clean up," Minho says after Jisung pushes his half eaten food away from him.

"No," Jisung shakes his head, "I want to take my mind off things." He bites his lips, looks at Minho with sad eyes, but his brows are furrowed in that way they do when he's fond. "And I want to be near you."

Jisung washes the dishes as Minho transfers the food to another container and writes the date and contents on a sticky note. Another thing that'll be the first to change, he muses, will be the food.

Over the sound of running water, Jisung asks, "do they say anything about tears and the sea?"

Minho opens the fridge and places the container inside. He closes the fridge and leans against it. "All I know," he says slowly as he watches Jisung's hand scrub at a plate, "is that the sea gives and it takes."

Jisung hunches his shoulder, closes the tap. He turns to look at Minho, the corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. "So, if I give my tears, will it give me," his eyes flicker to the clock and his mouth tightens, "will it give me peace?"

It is hot in the kitchen; the heat is still clinging to the air even after the sun has long set. "It depends on what you believe," he says, echoing what his father told him, "but the sea - it is its own. It gives and takes what it wants."

"All those sunken ships," Jisung says, turning to the sink again.

"And all those treasures from its belly," Minho adds, walking up to Jisung and hugging him from behind.

Jisung exhales a shuddering breath again. "Give and take," he says in a steady voice. "It makes sense when I put it that way."

Minho knows that he isn't talking about the sea.

Later that night, Jisung collapses into the bed and falls asleep in minutes. He's curled into a ball and his jaw is clenched, brows knit. Minho rubs a thumb across his cheeks as he checks the text.

His mother has texted him: the cottage is ready. Pay Hana a visit if you can.

Another text, signed dad: the sea hears our prayers. Ask what you want and hope for the best.

They leave early on a Friday morning. The sky is grim; the clouds hold back the scorch of the sun as they prepare their deluge. Jisung is sleepy and soft, his eyes clouded with exhaustion, but his frame is jittering with excitement.

"I am so happy because I think I'll be able to manage three cups of coffee before ten o'clock," he chirps, holding up the travel mug. "I didn't manage that in college, you know. I always switched to energy drinks after a point."

"I love knowing about the various ways in which you ingest caffeine," Minho says drily though he is brimming with adoration, "do you plan on injecting it next?"

"Might!" Jisung grins, pecking Minho's cheek.

First, they journey by train. Jisung graciously yields the window seat to him and Minho spends time watching pockets and clusters of life rushing past him. He quite likes trains and travelling in vehicles in general because they permitted him to sit back and watch life pass by without having to participate in it for a bit.

Jisung is immersed in his phone, practising English. Minho puts on his earbuds and returns to the window, studying the blur of green outside the window and the way the sea flashes silver beyond them. He passes time like this, losing himself in nature rushing past him and the crawl of people in the stations where the train stops.

There's a poke in his shoulder and he smiles as he turns to Jisung. Jisung is pouting and he says, "I don't like the fact that your side profile is perfect," he says and shows him his phone.

"How terrible to have a boyfriend with a great side profile," he teases as he examines the photo. It is a good photo, a bit shaky, but it makes him look good.

Jisung sighs, "it is indeed terrible to have a handsome boyfriend," he agrees, mouth twitching.

Minho feels warm around his ears and it is, as always, because Jisung called him his boyfriend. Overcome, he pinches Jisung's cheek hard. "You're handsome too," he coos, tugging at his cheek, grinning when Jisung starts smacking his hand, "and adorable as well, you're a full package, aren't you?"

"I hate you," Jisung whines, pushing Minho away. He rubs his cheek and gives him a baleful look. His phone chimes then and Minho hands it to him. Jisung checks it, his face turning stony as he reads it. "My parents," he says at Minho's curious look, "they're tearing their hair out more than I am," he grumbles.

Minho closes his lips around what he was going to say because Jisung is chewing his lips in thought. He waits.

"Were you this much of a mess?" Jisung asks, voice dropping. He turns towards Minho and it is like the drapes are drawn over their bubble. "When you left home, I mean? Were you this scared?"

Minho takes a few moments to think. "I was excited," he says, "but that's because all of us wanted to go away." He remembers drinking on the jagged rocks with his friends, very sure that it was the city that was calling to him and believing - believing with all his might that he was just what the city needed. "I was scared only when things didn't turn out the way I expected it to," he shrugs.

Jisung nods slowly, his eyes fixed on the window. Minho traces the contours of his face. When you first see a face, you never realise how familiar it might become one day. Who would've thought two and a half years ago that he would be taking Felix's roommate to see his home? That he would be taking Jisung - his friend, his boyfriend, his love - to visit the sea?

"Do you remember how I said that I would want to know," a wry smile touches Jisung's lips, "about my imminent demise?" He looks at Minho again, "I am preparing for all the things that could go wrong, but," he tugs at the sleeve of Minho's hoodie, "there are many more things that can go wrong."

"That's true," Minho says, pulling his sleeve down so that Jisung has more loose fabric to fidget with, "but we never know what will happen." Jisung's finger touches his wrist briefly when he winds the fabric around and then disappears when he unwinds it.

Jisung laughs and it is a bleat of mockery. "I am just going to let my mind run around in circles until I am too exhausted to worry." He nods again, "that's the only way this will work."

"I can kick you every time you worry to hurry the process along," Minho offers, pinching Jisung's cheek.

"Always so helpful," Jisung says, rolling his eyes, "and very sadistic." He leans his forehead briefly against Minho's before turning back.

They reach the town nearest to the village at noon. Minho swivels his head, looking for the car renting booth as Jisung carries their bag.

There aren't many people in the station and they sidestep the single minded luggage carrying folks and the absent minded lost in their phone folks with ease. Jisung is one of the latter. Minho catches sight of the booth and tugs Jisung there by holding his elbow.

Once they're in the car, he doesn't turn on the AC. Instead he leaves the windows down. Jisung sits in the passenger seat and watches people around him embracing or haggling with taxi drivers or puffing under the weight of their luggage. Minho brakes when the car in front of them stops abruptly.

"What the hell," he mutters, tapping the honk. A lazy, warm breeze ruffles his hair.

Jisung turns to his side and cranes his head out of the window. "Wait, someone's getting out," he says.

Minho honks again. "Put your head back in," he says, and uses his free hand to tug at Jisung's shoulders. "I swear people don't know what one way roads are."

"They're fighting," Jisung says, head still craned out of the window. "Ooh, the man threw money on the drivers face!"

Minho snorts. "You're such a gossip monger, I swear to god."

"I am not a gossip monger!" Jisung sniffs, "I observe human behaviour." He settles against his seat and the Minho manoeuvres the car ahead.

"Did you miss your home when you left?" Jisung asks as he scrolls through his phone, "do you want music?"

"Not really," Minho says, "I mean for both. Like I said, we all wanted to leave but I did dream about the sea."

Jisung puts his phone away. He settles deeper into his seat and fiddles with the hem of his t-shirt. "I dreamed about home even though I was the same fucking city," he sighs. "I think I'm just a homebody who is averse to change."

Minho pats his knee and leaves his hand there. "What matters is that you're willing to make changes anyway," he says. A truck roars past them, the sound of its horn trailing behind it.

"A sea of change," Jisung giggles and twines his hand with Minho's hand.

"So pretty," Jisung sighs, head turned to the window, "I can't believe how clear everything looks."

"We're close," Minho says and points ahead. "Look, there's the lighthouse."

The lighthouse is silhouetted against the sky like a needle. He can't hear the sea yet, but he catches sight of a far off glimmer. Jisung gasps beside him and Minho's heart swoops.

"So beautiful," Jisung whispers. "Where should I rest my eyes? Everywhere. On what? Everything," he says and Minho takes a second to look at him. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are bright.

"Do you like what you see?" Minho asks, softly, a sudden, urgent weight making his heart beat quicker.

"Yes," Jisung says, "Absolutely."

Mrs. Choi - Hana- has left the keys in her mailbox with a note saying, 'Come for dinner before you leave! And bring your friend too!!' She's probably at school, he thinks as he jogs back to his cottage - it's a ten-minute-long jog - preparing for the new school year.

Jisung is standing where Minho left him and he is straining his neck to look at the lighthouse. He has taken off his hoodie, and sweat glistens on his forearms. He brightens when he sees Minho.

"It's hot," he says, fanning his face.

"Shower first, then food?" Minho asks as he unlocks the front door.

Jisung hums in assent. The inside of his home doesn't smell like his family anymore, he notices, the walls only hold the musty smell of dust and the fading sharpness of new paint. It is dark and when Minho flicks on a switch, it is too bright, the light bouncing off the bare walls and scant furniture.

"We gave away a lot of stuff," Minho explains as he goes to the window to open the curtains, "when we repaired the cottage." He's a touch embarrassed because this place is small with only two bedrooms and even bare like this, the living room is tiny in comparison to the sprawl of Jisung's family home.

"It's adorable," Jisung says, dragging Minho into a sudden hug. "It's so cosy and I can hear the sea here," he cocks his head and his smile turns softer. "I am glad I'm here," he says.

Minho buries his face in Jisung's shoulder, breathes in his scent. "I'm glad too," he says, already bereft.

It is evening when Minho takes Jisung to the beach. Much later than he'd planned but he had pushed Jisung against the wall and it was a heated haze after that. The afternoon had melted as they cuddled and napped, and ate, and now the sun was dipping gently into the horizon, spilling gold into the water.

"This isn't a friendly sea," he tells Jisung as they stand on the rocks lining the lip of the sea, watching the waves beat against them. "It's too wild, too rough."

"It holds power, doesn't it?" Jisung murmurs, "and it's too much for people to handle when they don't respect it."

Minho inclines his head, "That's what the people of the sea say but it depends on what you believe," he explains, "some say that it is because this place is too underdeveloped to be of much use."

Jisung sits on one of the rocks. He tugs at Minho's hand until he sits down beside him, pressed against his side. "I would rather believe what the people of the sea say." He leans his head on Minho's shoulder, "I can't believe you grew up here," he says, waving a hand at the grey-gold expanse of the sea.

Jisung is still leaving.

Minho tightens his hand around his waist. "My offer to kick you when you worry still stands," he says and winces when the sea roars around them once it's close. The rocks gleam as the last rays of the sun touch them. Further ahead, he can see boats begin to head home.

"Maybe next time onwards," Jisung says with a defeated chuckle. "I don't know why I am like this. A lot of people are in long distance relationships."

Minho's insides are roiling, all emotions crashing on top of each other and then battering against him, relentless. "I understand," he says, words thick, "but it's about us and what we feel," he says. Who had said, you're unique to me in all the world, and I am unique to you in all the world?

Jisung nods and takes Minho's hand. "Did you know that a ship sank here?" Jisung says, turning and adjusting himself until he's facing Minho. He bites his lips, suddenly shy. "I looked up your village," he confides, "when you first told me about your childhood and stuff," he flaps a hand in the space between them. "But you were so disinterested that I didn't ask much."

Amusement bubbles in Minho's throat. "You honestly looked up my tiny village?" he barks out a laugh, "I never knew that your crush on me was so severe."

Jisung frowns and flicks a bit of sand at him. "As if your crush on me wasn't equally soppy," he says, "and it wasn't like I searched or something. I just looked up the name and there was a news item."

"But, Jisungie, I never looked up my crushes' hometown,'' Minho sings, delighted by the blush suffusing Jisung's cheeks. One of Jisung's undying nightmares is the way he behaved around Minho before they'd started dating.

Jisung scrapes a handful of sand from in-between the rocks and hurls them at Minho, "shut up! I was trying to be poetic," he grouses.

Minho laughs, his shoulders shaking, "and you begin by saying that you stalked me?"

"I wasn't-" Jisung sputters, eyes rounding in annoyance, "I wasn't stalking you! I didn't know what to say around you and I wanted to find a common topic-" he groans, burying in his face in his sand streaked hands.

Minho's laugh bounces off the rocks. Jisung looks at him, startled and brows furrowed in fondness and there are smudges of sand on his face. Minho's breath stutters in his throat and the sea churns around him - around them - and he thinks that the sea is glad that they're here too.

That night, Jisung is rough, his nails scrabbling against Minho's back, his fingers bruising, his breath low and harsh against his ears, his hips and hands unrelenting. Minho holds him close, pulls at him when there's any unnecessary distance. They're quiet and silent, they've already spoken much.

Minho wakes up from a dream at midnight and finds that he is sweating. There's a heavy, muggy heat and the crickets drone ceaselessly, drowning out even the whisper of the sea. Minho pushes the blanket away from him and gets up to open the window. When he sees the waning moon and hears the soft, barely heard rumble of the sea in the distance, he realises why this separation seems so interminable.

It's because it is the first of the many. They had not spoken about mandatory service - had buried it under the stress of this - and the years they'll spend apart yawn like a void in front of Minho's eyes. Nearly six years, give or take. This one is the first.

There's not much air outside, so what filters in from the screen doesn't even cool the sweat on his forehead. Jisung's face is buried in his pillow and except for him, the room is strange and alien, stripped of everything familiar. He goes back to bed and lets Jisung's breathing lull him to sleep.

They awaken too late to watch the sunrise. Clouds have gathered today and they look more determined than they were yesterday morning. The heat worms its way under his skin, settles there like grime. Minho nearly cries with how hot it gets in the kitchen while he's cooking.

"Fuck, it's humid," Jisung complains as he hands Minho the chopped vegetables. "I didn't get anything for frizzy hair," he pouts.

"Neither did I," Minho says, mopping his brow with a napkin, "but it doesn't matter, we're leaving-"

"I don't want to look terrible in the photos," Jisung sighs, "but I guess the sweat will make my hair stay down anyway." Then his face brightens, "do you have childhood photos here?" he asks. "I want to see!"

Minho switches off the gas and pokes Jisung's stomach to get him to move. "I have shown you so many photos," he says as he puts food in bowls, "why do you want to see more?"

Jisung huffs. "You've shown me only cute photos," he crosses his arms, "I want to see the weird ones," he says as he takes out two pairs of chopsticks and fills two glasses with water.

"Maybe I was cute since childhood," Minho says, placing the bowls on the small dining table.

"Impossible," Jisung says sagely, "all teenagers look terrible. Here, baby," he says and shoves a piece of watermelon into Minho's mouth.

Minho sputters and smacks Jisung's shoulder. "You don't have to drop it right into my throat," he complains. Jisung giggles, his cheeks bunching up with the force of his smile.

Minho takes him to the village after breakfast. They have decided to go to the lighthouse in the evening, so that they don't faint in exhaustion on the stairs that lead to the top. The village is quiet and Minho doesn't see anyone his age around. That's not a surprise; all of them wanted to leave since the moment they deciphered that there's a world outside the village.

"Is it usually so quiet?" Jisung asks as they pass a small grocery store. It is open but only darkness is visible beyond the display of newspapers on the outside.

"Most of them are at work," Minho says, making a vague gesture with his hand, "and the others are hiding from the heat," he says. He smiles at a cat that is walking across them, but it darts away when it notices them. "Plus there aren't many people in general here."

"Does everyone want to leave?" Jisung asks, twining his hand with Minho's hand.

He thinks that for a time he must've had a film over his eyes that has melted away now because Jisung looks so vibrant, so real against the soupy grey light of the day. "Yes. Sometimes what the sea gives you isn't enough," he hesitates, unsure if he should say it. "But most come back," he says softly even though there's no one to overhear, "for their last days."

"Oh," Jisung's eyes are wide, "to be beside the sea?" He doesn't wait for Minho to confirm, his gaze drifts to the lighthouse. "The sea is in your blood, isn't it?"

"We say that the salt of the sea calls to the salt in our blood," Minho whispers, steering Jisung into a right hand turn. It is strange to say it aloud - it feels like baring his soul. But, Minho says it anyway because it's Jisung.

Minho knocks on Mrs. Choi's door. A smile lights her face when she sees Minho standing there. "Minho!" she says, dragging him into a hug.

Minho laughs, "Mrs. Choi, I am sweaty!"

"It's been years since I saw you," she says, ruffling his hair, her eyes drift beyond his shoulder. Minho turns and sees Jisung hovering behind him wearing his 'shit, a human adult' smile. Mrs. Choi grins, "and who is this?" she asks, stepping past Minho. She peers at Jisung.

Jisung squeaks and Minho wants to kiss him because he's so fucking cute. "That's Jisung," he says, "Jisung, this is Mrs. Choi, our longest family friend and my teacher."

"Hello, Mrs. Choi," Jisung says, "nice to meet you."

"Hello, nice to meet you," Mrs. Choi says, shaking his hand and then immediately patting his cheeks. "You're cute," she tells him and Jisung blushes a deep red. "Now, come inside. Are you here for lunch?"

"Oh no," Minho says, brushing his fingers against Jisung's hand. "I thought we'll come for dinner later, I just wanted the keys to the lighthouse actually."

"Nonsense," Mrs. Choi says, shooing them inside, "come inside and cool down a little. It's blazing outside."

"Is that alright?" Minho asks Jisung.

Jisung grins, "I think I can get a few embarrassing stories about you from her."

The inside of the house is the same as it was before. The same photos, the same trinkets and the same furniture adorns the place, but there's an aged air to the place. Mrs. Choi bustles around, filling Minho in about the gossip he's missed as she makes lemonade.

Minho sinks into the warm familiarity, something that he had missed the most when he first came to the city. But the familiarity has a brittle edge to it, he thinks, as Mrs. Choi references events and happenings that he has no idea about. It's only the deep affection that's holding their bond together for they don't know each other like they did once. Or, maybe they do, but only as they were at that point of time - before Minho left. The stone aches in his chest.

"Minho was a good boy," she says to Jisung, "he broke his hand once when he was trying to do a handstand, but he was pretty much like other teenagers."

"And I was the best looking in the school, wasn't I?" Minho grins and takes a sip of his lemonade. "Jisung here thinks I must've looked like an ogre."

"He was pleasant looking, very cheerful," Mrs. Choi says, her eyes softening, "He was a good boy, Jisung. We were sad to see him leave."

Minho traces a drop of condensation that rolls down his glass with a finger. He is suddenly, desperately sad about leaving. And being left behind. He swallows.

Mrs. Choi must've noticed the change in his mood because she says in a too bright voice, "but of course, the sea calls him back," she nods with the same deeply anchored surety, "so I know we'll see him." A pause. "Now, if you want to go to the lighthouse, you should go now," she says, "it'll rain soon - look at the heat! - so get it done as soon as possible.."

"Oh!" Jisung says, sitting up straight, "Mrs. Choi, do you know about the ship that sank on this coast?"

Mrs. Choi's smile is a touch confused. "Of course, but it was so long ago."

Jisung bites his lip, thinking. "I've been watching documentaries about sunken ships," he says, placing his glass back on the serving tray. The ice clinks against the glass and the glass thumps against the wood. "So - um... I was just curious."

"She was supposed to port during a storm," Mrs. Choi says, after a sip of lemonade. "But she never reached. It was the saddest thing ever. You know what their last message was?"

The fan goes quiet at that moment and the silence is heavy. "No," Jisung says. The fan falls into its rhythm again, clicking and rattling, overpowering the smallness of Jisung's voice.

"We are coming home," she says, her polite smile turning downwards, her eyes losing light. "We will arrive," she says.

The air in the room falls quiet as if it is refusing to carry away the last words of a lost ship. Minho hears Jisung's breath hitch.

"They were fools," Mrs. Choi continues, "they saw the lighthouse and decided they were home. They stopped fighting. The lighthouse wasn't enough," she sighs, placing her glass back too. "They underestimated the rage of the sea, I think and gave into it instead of fighting it. And the sea took them," she says simply.

"The sea has many lessons to teach," Jisung says, his voice twanging with fear, "and it teaches them well, doesn't it?"

Mrs. Choi stands up and picks up the tray. "If you let yourself believe then you'll learn them well," she says. "Now, where did I put the keys?"

The clouds are rumbling as Minho leads Jisung to the lighthouse. The smell of the sea - brine, fish and stagnant water - is stronger the closer they get. It shrouds him, settles into his pores. Or maybe it was always there and now the salt in his blood is answering to the salt of the sea.

"Should I not have asked her?" Jisung asks after a few minutes. "About the ship?"

Minho shakes his head. He thinks that Jisung is feeling the same disequilibrium that he is, the ripples that don't sit right, that are not caused by the tides of their emotions, but by something else. "You were just making conversation."

Jisung is still pensive, still tense around his jaw and shoulders. "It is weird to talk about sunken ships while drinking lemonade."

"That's probably the only interesting thing that has happened here which is not gossip," Minho says, holding Jisung's hand when they reach the rocky path that leads to the lighthouse.

"I love you," Jisung says, coming to a stop. He flushes when Minho raises his brow, "I just wanted to say it," he says, shrugging a shoulder.

Minho squeezes his hand, a slow warmth trickling to his fingertips. "I love you too," he says and he thinks he can hear the weight of his feelings in the space between every syllable. "And don't worry about Mrs. Choi. She's seen me break my wrist because I was dared to do a handstand."

Jisung snorts and it sounds shaky. "I think the sea is affecting me too," he says, rubbing his sternum, "I find myself thinking about it all the time."

"It's because only the sea is prettier than me and you like thinking about pretty things," he assures him, darting away when Jisung tries to punch him. "What!" he laughs, "you were the one who said 'I can't stop thinking about you' when you confessed."

Jisung shrieks and starts chasing Minho. Minho laughs as Jisung hurls curses at him and he's half laughing, half panting by the time he reaches the base of the lighthouse. "Your face," he gasps, "you looked like you were going to kill me," he cackles when Jisung makes his way to him, gasping.

"I don't even know why I am with you," Jisung grouses, pushing Minho's chest. "You're an asshole ninety-nine percent of the time."

Minho wipes his sweat with the back of his hand and takes out the key. "You only complain when I say the truth," Minho says as he slots the key into the lock, "you never say anything when I say that you're the funniest - ow!"

Minho pushes the door open and then stands on the threshold, rubbing his shoulders. Jisung sighs and kisses him. Minho steps aside with a smile.

"Are you sure you want to go up?" Jisung asks as he examines a few dusty photos that line the wall. "We don't have to."

"It's alright," Minho says, "I've been to the top drunk out of my mind too. As long as I stand near the door and only look at the clouds, I'm fine."

"The rocks look like teeth," Jisung murmurs, his eyes fixed on a photo beside it. Minho studies the image. Seen from a photo, the rocks do look like jagged, flashing teeth.

"Let's go upstairs," Minho says, when he sees Mr. Choi smiling at him from another photo. The last keeper before this lighthouse was abandoned.

There are around one fifty or two hundred steps that lead to the top. Their footsteps echo in the emptiness and the spiralling staircase looks like it is listing as if they're quivering to the sound of the sea. Jisung bounds up the stairs, the muscles of his legs straining.

He unlocks the door that leads to the platform surrounding the lamp. The same dizzying sensation from his school years hits him and that makes him squirm as he remembers that his friends are scattered now with only their individual ties to the sea giving them something in common. He remains near the door as Jisung presses himself against the railing.

"Oh my god," he whispers, "I can see so far."

Minho can only see the heavy clouds rumble as they push against each other, trying to claim as much of the sky as they can. But he remembers what the top of the lighthouse shows. The endless sea and the twinkle of a city at its far edges. That was what caught his eyes back then.

Jisung turns to Minho and gestures at the sea, "it's like I can feel the depth of the sea just because I can see how wide it is," he says, his cheeks pink and sweaty. "Fuck," he says, turning back to peer over the railing again.

Then, it starts to drizzle. The roaring sea drinks in the rain, blots out its hiss. A wind rises and whips the rain towards them and Minho blinks away water from his eyes. There's a grimy, smoky scent in the air that is tinged with bitter salt. Minho tugs at the back of Jisung's t-shirt. "We should go," he says over the rain and the soft pinging noise on the platform as the drops fall on it.

Jisung nods, turns, his front drenched and eyelashes heavy with water. He casts an entranced look at the rain once more before he slips out of the door. Minho shuts the door and the sound of rain cuts off.

Jisung says, "I want to watch the sea while it rains."

They find a flat, sturdy rock near the lighthouse to stand on as they watch the sea while it rains.

The sea during the rain is the greyness of the seawater and the drops from the sky merging into a roiling, swelling, swirling mass. The sea takes the water that it gave to the clouds, that the sun took from it over the long summer months. And there is only water - on their skin and their hair, in their bodies and in the space around them.

Minho can smell only water, can taste only water. The clean scent of the rain mingles with the inedible smell the salt of the sea - the same salt that he carries in his blood. The water leeches heat from his skin and he's cold except for the single point of warmth where his hands are intertwined with Jisung's.

Minho is not able to see far because all is grey and the waves are rising and falling as they chase each other to the rocks. He also can't see because he isn't able to open his eyes properly. Minho isn't thinking - it is impossible to think with the sound of the sea in his ears but he feels. He feels dawning, blistering awe. Feels fear running cold and hot down his spine. feels the salt dissolve in his blood dissolve till he thinks he'll float, feels the water fill him until he is weighed down.

He thinks even his blood is singing in time to the waves.

The sea demands that they leave. The waves become too big, too rough and they rattle his bones. Minho walks beside Jisung in the rain, his hand tight in Jisung's hand. It is only when they leave the beach can he smell the earth. All of Minho's words are lost to the water and no sound passes the lump in his throat.

They shower together when they reach the cottage. Minho drags Jisung with him, hovers around him as he undresses in the bathroom. He wants to be Jisung right now, wants to keep feeling his warmth, wants to keep touching his skin. He holds him in the shower stall, runs his hand down his back and across his chest, over his legs and through his hair.

He is hard but he ignores it, focusing on the rivulets of soap that run over the dips and plains of Jisung's skin. He brushes away the suds that go near Jisung's eyes and buries his face in the crook of Jisung's neck when he washes him. Jisung's hands are gentle but they seem to brand his skin. He shudders and Jisung runs a soothing hand down his spine.

Only after all the soap has swirled down the drain, does he get down on his knees.

Later, as he is lying under the blanket and tracing the curve of Jisung's cheekbone, he understands why the sea has called to him.

"I think," he clears his throat, "I think the sea called me so that I could see it with you - see what it looks like while it rains."

Jisung looks at him with wide eyes.

Minho runs his thumb over Jisung's lower lip. "I think I wanted to experience this - this infinite awe with you beside me," he whispers. "To share it with you, share the sea with you."

Jisung exhales a shuddering breath. The rain pours outside, beats against the windows and the roof. The sound of the sea underscores the rain. In the gloomy shadows of the room, Minho thinks they are incandescent.

"The sea gave the answers that I wanted," Jisung says. His voice is rough and his eyes are soft. "How should we handle this separation?" he says and he trails a hand down Minho's chest. He rests his hand against Minho's sternum, right where the rock sat. "To give and to take," Jisung says, "to be my own person, to always be there and to fight." His brows furrow in that way they do when he's fond, "and most importantly, to believe."

"To believe," Minho echoes.

He doesn't know what's going to happen and he doesn't know when he'll return. He doesn't know a lot, but he knows this:

He is in love and there's much to fight for. That when he needs it the most, the sea will call him.

And he knows that he is one of the people of the sea... and maybe Jisung is too.

I started early... and visited the sea

The sea rolls with love

Surging, caressing,

Undulating its great loving belly.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:

let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls

But what really is the point of the lighthouse?

This is north, it says,

Not: I am your safe harbour

On the shore,

In the grey morning,

What I am is decided

In a haze of smoke

Finish.

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and so the sea calls to us - Chapter 1 - monograph - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Jisung says, "do you ever think about how sad the term 'ill fated' is?" Minho continues poking at the kimchi fried rice, but his thoughts halt their fuzzy, inchoate ramble and direct themselves to what Jisung just said. As he thinks, Jisung continues. "I mean - I saw this video, you know.

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Amazing set up

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where the grass was red - taotu - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! This work could have adult content. If you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.

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Jisung has never been a coffee person. There's just something about the taste and the way it lingers on his tongue and in the back of his throat that he could never get past. Not even with all the sugar and cream in the world-and let it be known that he had tried outrageous combinations of the two. Jisung just couldn't do it. Thankfully, however, during his move into the new dorms maybe a month or so before, Jisung found a small, but bustling, cafe hidden around the corner from the student building.

The space is cute and vintage without being annoying or disgustingly so, which is something that Jisung appreciates greatly. There's a constant buzz of life as people speak and machines whir in the background, and Jisung immediately felt comfortable surrounded by the pale colors and lazy script detailing what the menu offered.

That, and the baristas standing behind the counter and Jisung was sure he would like the place as soon the little bell above his head went off to announce his arrival.

All in all, Jisung likes the cafe, and most of the people who work there are very nice and great at their jobs. But there's one thing that always bothered him, that he was just too shy and anxious to bring up when it occurred.

It's one barista in particular really, Minho, according to the small print on his nametag.

Minho took Jisung's order every time he reached the counter, even when someone else seemed to be working mere seconds before. Minho was pleasant, always courteous and smiling at Jisung when he came in for his morning hot chocolate. The only problem was that Minho had a thing for staring at Jisung, or more specifically Jisungs lips. Hisgaze unrelenting in the way he followed every word Jisung said.

Jisung couldn't help but notice, even though he tried his best to ignore it. Because no matter how nice Minho was, the whole thing was beginning to creep Jisung out.

A month into Jisung's visits to the cafe he decided he needed to deal with Minho, because even though he could simply go somewhere else, the cafe had some of the best hot chocolate he had ever tasted. And of course Minho just happened to be the one who made it for Jisung every day.

Jisung was standing at the counter waiting for Minho to bring his cocoa over when he finally felt like the time was right enough to bring the whole staring-contest-with-his-lips situation up. Without anyone waiting behind him Jisung didn't feel too strange bringing it up to the barista, or like he was taking up time that could be better spent. The cafe was mostly empty now, and every other barista seemed to be on break besides Minho.

"Hey, uh, Minho." Jisung started when the barista passed by his table, waving his hand a little in an awkward greeting. Minho stopped where he was going and turned towards Jisung with a polite smile, eyes once again trained on Jisung's lips as he spoke to him. Jisung wondered if he should be annoyed, because he's not surprised at this point.

"What's up?" Minho was always cheery, something Jisung did admire about him.

He had a sense of humor, and Jisung could occasionally see him joking around with one of the other baristas, Jeongin, when things were more slow during the day.

Of course now the cafe was void of people, so Minho's attention was solely on Jisung.

Jisung cleared his throat, a sudden feeling of embarrassment coming over him. He stared at the coffee cup in his hands, unable to look Minho in the eyes for fear he wouldn't be able to get the right words out as he rambled.

"So, you're really nice and all, and your cocoa is amazing, but the whole lip thing, I can see you staring when I talk and I just wanted to say it's kinda uncom-"

"Uh sorry, strange question, but could you look up at me?" Minho interrupted him, an oblivious but sincerely embarrassed smile on his face as he pointed at his lower lip for emphasis. Another one of Minho's habits that Jisujg couldn't deny was sort of adorable. "I need to read your lips or else I can't really understand what you're saying."

Jisung felt the whole world stop and restart in that one moment, head snapping up to look at Minho with a slack jaw and wide eyes.

Minho looked perfectly unaware of Jisungs crisis at the moment.

Jisung's cheeks, ears, and his whole body was flushed red in embarrassment, because how could it have not occurred to him at any moment that Minho was reading his lips?

He's suddenly reminded of all the times Jeongin had yelled and scared half the cafe but Minho had barely flinched, every time Jisung had said hello and Minho didn't respond until Jisung waving was clear in his view.

Jisung was such an idiot.

Minho seemed to sense something was wrong when Jisung's lips were doing very little other than opening and closing as he tried to think of what to say to him.

Minho's smile faded and eyebrows knitting together in a questioning gaze.

"You've got to be kidding me." Jisung muttered after a long bout of shocked silence.

"Oh... You were pointing it out weren't you-"

"No, not at all!" Jisung's hands flew it in front of him, as if him frantically waving would make his lie seem any better.

"Don't worry it happens all the time. I get a kick out of it at this point if I'm being honest." Minho chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck in a gesture that Jisung knew meant he was at least a bit uncomfortable with the situaiton.

Jisung nodded, still in a state of shock as he left a tip-a dollar or two more than usual-in the jar by the register and stumbled out the door, cocoa left forgotten in his haste to leave.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Jisung chanted in his head all the way to his first lecture of the day.

A week later and the conversation still haunts Jisung, so much so that he has taken to going to the cafe an hour later than usual in a not-so-sly attempt to avoid Minho, and the embarrassment of facing him again after the events that occured. Albeit his morning mood and palette are suffering with Minho's absence, and poor Jeongin has been left to figure out the old kettle used for hot drinks they can't use the ever-so-popular espresso machine for. It's an old blue thing that only seemed to like Minho-if such a thing was possible-and left a strange aftertaste whenever Jeongin attempted to make anything for Jisung with it. The tang of metal on his tongue ever present, just like the regret of his awful social skills and inability to simply go and apologize, for fear of offending Minho.

It takes Jisung completely by surprise when he ends up bumping into Minho in the produce section of the grocery store.

Truth be told they don't really bump into each other. It's more like Jisung see's Minho bagging some peaches in the fruit aisle, and decides to run in the opposite direction.

He doesn't like fruit all that much anyways, or this grocery store come to think of it. He supposes it's time to find a new one. He almost makes it around the corner too, but before he can disappear with his cart in tow, someone is calling out for him.

"Jisung?"

"Oh, hey! Didn't see you there." Jisung's face was burning from the lie, but if Minho noticed he didn't say anything. The barista just smiled and walked up to Jisung like the latter hadn't been avoiding him for the past few days after making a complete ass of himself.

"I've missed you at the cafe, it's really boring without you." Minho speaks as if there was nothing wrong with what he is saying, as if they're friends instead of acquaintances. "No one else gets hot chocolate other than you, and I hate using the machines-"

Jisung can't take it anymore, the way Minho seems so content just talking his ear off, which to be honest, isn't a problem for Jisung, who enjoys listening to Minho talking very much. Especially when he can make out the slight (adorable) lisp the other boy has on some words, most likely from not being able to hear himself speak.

Jisung has to apologize for his behavior before he can allow Minho to continue, and before the guilt eats away at him to the point where there's nothing left.

"Look Minho, I'm so sorry about that day with the lip reading and stuff, I had no idea." Jisung cuts Minho off mid sentence, about to hide his face in his hands but hesitating when he remembers what Minho had said. So Jisung leaves his face exposed in flushed shame as he speaks.

"Honestly it made me uncomfortable- before I realized what you were doing, and I should have just owned up to that but I didn't and thats-"

"Hey," Minho interjects, "don't worry about it Jisung, it happens to everyone most of the time. Your brain isn't wired to immediately assume things like that."

The way Minho says it, and with a smile that assures Jisung he means what he's saying, Jisung feels all the guilt melt away. His shoulders visibly slump with relief, and a small breathy laugh slips past his lips.

"You're sure?"

"Oh definitely." Minho steps up and squeezes Jisungs shoulder. "And please, just come to me for hot chocolate, poor Jeongin is having a mental breakdown trying to learn the kettle."

A real laugh comes out this time, one that Jisung can feel throughout his whole body. He almost misses the way Minho's eyes widen and his grip on his shoulder tightens when it happens, feeling the motion and slight tremors from Jisung's laugh through his arm.

"Isn't it hard to read lips constantly?"

"Of course it is, it's exhausting sometimes, but it gets easier when I'm used to the way people move their lips when they talk. Like in the beginning it was kind of hard to read your lips, but after a while I pretty much got it down. I still can't catch every word you say though."

"That's actually really cool. It's not hard to deal with customers at all?"

"Sometimes, but working as a barista only gives so many options for people to choose from. I've been working there long enough where I'm confident. If I mess up, I'm only human."

"You don't use, it uh, it as an excuse?"

"What? Me being deaf? Nah, I'm not looking for pity."

Jisung finds himself with Minho for the rest of the day, no longer so uncomfortable with the way Minho stares at his lips as he talks.

He finds the way that Minho laughs a few seconds after he cracks a joke strangely endearing, watching as Minho puts together his words, eyes narrowing as he follows Jisungs lips.

Jisung tries his best to speak slower than usual, but not so slow that Minho would catch him in the act and pout-as he did when Jisung had become too obvious about it earlier.

It's clear to Jisung that Minho is in no way incapable of following a conversation, but he can also see the effort Minho puts into following.

After so long with not knowing Minho was impaired at all when it came to his hearing, Jisung has to continuously remind himself to face Minho when he speaks.

Once or twice Minho will tap him on the shoulder and ask him to repeat himself, Jisung's face will burn red in embarrassment and he'll stutter over his words for a moment. But if it makes Jisung harder to understand, Minho says nothing about it.

He learns that reading lips is exhausting for Minho some days, and that Minho can use and understand sign language, but he prefers being able to know more of what is going on around him when it comes to hearing people.

Minho says being able to take part in at least some of the world when you otherwise are closed off is something he wouldn't trade.

Jisung finds that he likes getting a glimpse (no matter how small) of Minho's world.

"You look like shit."

Jisung glares at Minho-who is grinning at him and trying and failing to hold back his giggles-dragging the hood of his sweater further down his face to hide the shadows under his eyes and the rats-nest that is his hair at the moment.

"You're just mean." Jisung says glumly, knowing he looks just as bad, if not worse than Minho's teasing. "I'd like you better if you were blind, give me my fucking cocoa."

Jisung pouts over the steaming mug as Minho tells him about his day, clearly supressing a grin at Jisung's state.

Over the past few weeks Jisung and Minho have become strangely close.

Jisung has grown more accustomed to some of Minho's odd quirks, used to Minho's staring, how he listens to what that is less music and more making everything around them practically vibrate with how high Minho has the bass settings turned to. How Minho blinks often but almost too quick for Jisung to catch him in the act, as if Minho is trying to take in everything at once and miss as little as possible.

Jisung also learns that even if Minho is not in any way ashamed of his deafness, he often attempts to make it seem like it was less of a hassle during daily life, and in turn reveals that there were a few people-no longer in his life-who had made him feel like a burden some time ago.

Jisung finds this out when watching a movie with Minho in his apartment, as they had taken to having dinner at each others places when their acquaintanceship turned to friendship, seemingly over a simple cup of coffee (or cocoa in Jisung's case).

The apartment itself is small but homey, not cluttered but full of things that give the space it's own personality. Minho explains that rent is cheap because of the train station right next to his building, which makes too much noise for someone to sleep, meaning it's perfect for Minho.

With large windows and an amazing view of a park across the street and the sun brushing the tops of the buildings in the distance, Jisung falls in love with it almost immediately, even when Minho tries to convince him it really wasn't much to look at.

While watching the movie-it being the first time they had done such a thing together- Jisung finds himself fidgeting and stealing small furtive glances at Minho, appreciating Minho's high cheekbones and long eyelashes and everything else that made him so unique and lovely to look at. It takes Jisung a few glances, and one or two more just in case to confirm his suspicions. Minho looks completely lost, eyes squinting and lips moving as he tries-and fails-at following the quick pace of the actors lips on screen.

Jisung can see how the slump of defeat in Minho's shoulders only worsens whenever he realizes he has missed a line of dialogue spoken offscreen.

Jisung grabs the remote and pauses the television, startling Minho.

"Why-?

"I can see you trying to lip read." Jisung makes sure he's facing Minho, and only turns away when he's sure Minho understood him. Taking the time to turn on the subtitles and rewind to the beginning, seeing as they only had been watching for maybe fifteen minutes.

Minho sputters for a moment, and Jisung can see behind his indignant expression he's embarrassed for being caught, yet grateful at the same time. The faint scowl fades and Minho's eyes flicker between Jisung's lips and eyes, lips pursed.

"You won't be bothered by the subtitles?" Minho finally asks.

" That's why you didn't say anything?" Jisung laughs, giggling through his words until he sees Minho's ears are bright red and he refuses to look at Jisung.

Jisung's smile fades and he reaches over, tapping Minho's knee to get his attention. It takes a moment but Minho eventually looks at him, lips pursed in a shy way that makes Jisung want to squish Minho until that laughter comes back, unfiltered and loud and everything that Minho seems to like to hide about himself.

"I had a friend once, he would get annoyed by them." Minho says, eyes not meeting Jisung's like he usually makes an effort to do when he can. "He said it was annoying and he couldn't enjoy hanging out with me because of them and other... stuff. so I guess I just assumed-"

"Hey, I don't find it annoying okay? As long as you can enjoy the movie too I think I'll manage." Jisung smiles, and vows that if he ever meets this so called 'friend' he'll have a few choice words for him, and a nice fist for his face.

The room is much louder now, as Minho finally is able to chuckle at jokes and make commentary on what is going on. Jisung finds himself watching Minho for most of the movie, finding the shape of Minho's side profile more interesting than what is happening on screen. If Minho catches him doing so, he says nothing.

Then there are times Jisung forgets that Minho can't exactly hear him. Minho is so fluid and natural when it comes to daily life, that it happens once or twice where Jisung will end up talking to himself for a few minutes, not realizing that Minho isn't even looking at him, let alone reading his lips.

It happens occasionally, and most of the time Jisung can play it off like nothing happened, and Minho will be none the wiser. Jisung sometimes feels bad about it, being stupid enough to forget about such a big part of Minho's life, but nothing will make him feel worse than the day he and Minho go to the mall.

When Minho's shift at the cafe ends, Jisung is waiting out back by the dumpster, face breaking into a smile as soon as he sees Minho's familiar head of hair, styled to perfection so it looks messy but calculated at the same time. Minho is tugging a jean jacket onto his arm as he struggles to bump the back door shut with his heel, and Jisung finds himself holding back a chuckle when he sees Minho's black jeans are stained with sugar and flour-he must have been working with one of the bakers in the back today.

"We okay?" Minho asks when he finally notices and reaches Jisung a few meters away, holding up his hand with his thumb and pointer finger touching in an 'OK' symbol.

Jisung rolls his eyes and grabs Minho's wrist, tugging him out of the alley. He doesn't notice for a while that he never exactly lets go of his loose hold on Minho's wrist, a warm feeling filling his chest when he realizes Minho never makes any move to take his hand away, other than pulling it slightly so Jisung is holding onto his hand rather than his wrist.

Jisung knows it makes it harder for Minho to understand him when he stutters, but he thinks Minho almost enjoys that he has this effect on Jisung at all.

When they arrive at the mall, Jisung drags Minho into a few department stores, with a few errands to run before he can do some leisure shopping. All this socialization in the past few months has left him with a slowly shrinking closet as he tries to not wear the same thing too often. He doesn't want new clothes to impress Minho or anything, that would be completely absurd.

After Jisung finishes his errands, Minho drags him into a store Jisung has never been to before, but has heard mentioned once or twice from his friends.

"I've been needing new pants for ages." Minho explains as he starts to pick and choose what he wants to try on. From what Jisung understands, being a barista is very harsh on your clothes, and while Minho does okay in the shirt department with his apron, his jeans often take a good beating and have to be replaced every month or two depending on the damage. Jisung personally finds it charming when Minho shows up at his apartment with some flour still on his nose, but can understand the annoying aspects of having his jeans constantly covered in white hand prints.

Before Minho disappears into the dressing room he hands Jisung his phone and wallet to hold while he tries the jeans on.

"Don't take too long, I'll be bored out here waiting for you." Jisung pouts, which turns into a scowl when Minho just laughs at him before closing the door.

It doesn't take a while for Jisung to get restless, he wanders around the store aimlessly, keeping the dressing room in sight for a little while, until across the way he sees a store with advertising headphones. Not just any headphones though, insanely good headphones that Jisung has totally been lusting after for the past three months, and there they are right in front of him. Jisung is itching for something to do, so he pops back over to the dressing room and knocks once to get Minho's attention.

"I'm going to look at some headphones."

And then he's gone.

Jisung doesn't even think about it as he browses over all the color selections of the headphones, eventually settling on black with red decals covering the smooth surface. Jisung might even say he's in love when he walks out of the store with them tucked into his backpack.

The prospect of going home to test them out has him rushing to the back of the store where he left Minho so they can go back and he can show Minho how the bass setting work, let Minho feel the vibrations how he showed Jisung he does a week or so ago.

Only Minho isn't in the dressing room when he gets back. The door is open and there's a pile of neatly folded pants in the return basket outside the room.

"Minho?" Jisung's eyebrows knit together as he scans the store for a head of familiar black hair. His confusion only grows when he finds he can't see any sign of Minho anywhere.

Jisung feels a strange pit slowly growing in his stomach, dragging his phone out of his pocket and tries to text Minho. A few seconds go by and there's a violent buzzing coming from his jacket pocket.

"Shit." Jisung swears when he pulls out Minho's phone, the screen lit up with the text Jisung just sent, cringey emoji and everything. Jisung goes to call out for Minho-figuring he can't have gone far as Jisung was only in the other store for a few minutes. His words die in his mouth though when he remembers, and begins to mentally murder his past self.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

He chants in his head as he squeezes Minho's phone almost too tightly to his chest, the edges of the case digging into his palm. He makes his way through the racks of clothes, until he reaches the front desk, where a young woman sits clacking away on the keyboard of the computer in front of her. The sound is like nails on a chalkboard to Jisung's slowly building headache but he has to has her if she noticed Minho go anywhere.

"Excuse me," Jisung tries to sound calm, Minho's phone pressed to his chest as if it would magically begin to ring and have Minho on the other side telling him how dumb he was. "Have you seen the guy I was with earlier? I- I kind of lost him and I have his phone so-"

"Him?" The girl looks up at him and seems to think for a moment. "He paid for his stuff a minute or two ago, then he walked out. I didn't see where he went, sorry."

"Oh, thank you."

Jisung contemplates all his options, he can't call Minho, he has Minho's phone and Minho would never even be able to hear him anyways. He can't go to the mall security, they'd just make an announcement, and Minho wouldn't hear that either. He knows Minho can take care of himself, but the thought of Minho not knowing where he went, wondering if Jisung abandoned him, is enough for Jisung to fall into something close to panic.

God, what did people even do before phones? How did they go anywhere and not lose each other? Fuck.

Jisung pinches himself on the arm to calm his thoughts, focusing on the small burst of pain until his head clears more.

Minho's phone begins to buzz violently in his grip, making Jisung jump before he shakily presses the ACCEPT CALL button with his trembling thumb. The caller ID is an unknown number, but Jisung has hope.

"Huh-Hello?"

"Hello dear, is this a Han Jisung?" An old woman's shaky voice crackles through the phone, and Jisung holds the phone with two hands against his ear.

"Yes ma'am." Jisung feels a tear fall down his cheek, out of the overwhelming rush of anger and guilt taking root inside of him. He hiccups as he rubs his sleeve over his cheek to brush the tear away.

"I have a young man with me, Minho. I think he's a bit lost."

Jisung is on his feet before the woman is finished with her sentence, knuckles white as they clutch Minho's phone like a lifeline.

"Oh my god, yes, I mean-Uh, yes I've been looking for him cuh-can you please tell me where you are?" Jisung stumbles over his words, but he can't bring himself to care he's so relieved.

"Of course sweetie, we're on the first floor sitting by the fountain." The woman pauses, and Jisung holds his breath, unable to hear anything over the line. "Minho would like to say something."

"Jisung?" Minho sounds hopeful, but tired. "I uh, if you say something I won't be able to know obviously, but I just wanted to say I'm okay. I'll be waiting for you."

Jisung rushes down the stairs, trying not to bump into too many people as he searches for the fountain him and Minho had walked by on their way inside. It was easy to spot when Jisung reached the first level, filled with coins tossed in exchange for a wish.

It took a moment for him to locate Minho, seeing him sitting on the edge of the fountain with an old woman with greying hair, both of them moving their hands in strange ways.

Minho looks stressed, but the woman seems to be doing a good job keeping him company, it only takes Jisung a few seconds to reach them and catch Minho's attention.

"You called?" Jisung cringes at his introduction, but he's pretty sure Minho didn't even pickup on it with the way he marches right up to Jisung and punches him in the shoulder as hard as he can.

Jisung lets out a yelp, unable to reach up and make sure his shoulder is okay before Minho drags him into a bone crushing hug.

"I couldn't find you anywhere you asshole!" Minho's voice is a bit more slurred than usual, which is understandable. Minho was probably more concerned with finding his asshole of a friend than his pronunciation.

Jisung waits until Minho let's go and can see him to speak, gripping Minho's shoulders and hoping Minho understands how sorry he is. "I swear I didn't mean to-"

"Jisung you're crying."

Turns out Jisung is crying, but only a little bit. One or two more tears have slipped out since Minho hugged him. Jisung looks down and wipes them away, laughter coming out in breathy gasps as he sniffles and tries his best to look okay, and not like his entire world had just been imploding less than five minutes before.

"Shit, I guess I kinda panicked back there." Jisung takes a shaky breath, and is glad Minho can't hear the hiccups that continue to slip out of him.

"I'm glad you found him." The old woman speaks finally, moving her hands yet again as she talks.

Jisung doesn't want to assume anything, but he's almost sure that she is signing to Minho.

For a moment Jisung is lost, watching as Minho and the woman have a whole conversation in front of him, and he knows nothing of what they're saying. He can't describe the feeling that comes over him-pity, uselessness, something that settles over his heart-when he realizes Minho must live like this day to day, watching people all around him engage and talk with one another.

Jisung can't imagine living with no way to understand what people are saying on a whim, especially when he knows not everyone Minho has come across has been willing to give him the time he needs to understand and think and really talk.

Jisung would give Minho all the time in the world if he could, wishing the world would understand the beauty in how Minho navigated through his days and how he didn't let it bring him down.

"Jisung?"

Minho is looking up at him with a worried expression, eyebrows knit together as he searching Jisung's face for something.

"I'm here, sorry, just a bit lightheaded." Jisung says, assuring Minho he's fine.

"Too much excitement for one day I assume." The old woman chuckles, patting Minho on the cheek and giving Jisung a polite bow, to which both he and Minho respond. "Get home safely boys."

Both of them make it to Minho's apartment just fine, but it's clear how exhausting the experience was for Minho when he collapses onto his couch and falls asleep almost instantly. Clothes and all. Jisung takes the time to at least take Minho's shoes off and place them in the shoe rack by his door, relieved that he doesn't have to watch how much noise he makes.

Jisung doesn't talk to Minho again until later that night when he walks out of the shower to see almost 20 voicemails from Minho. Most of them are him singing horribly off-key to the lyrics of girl group songs he's never heard the melody of, and a hundred texts of colorful emojis and selfies of Minho pouting and making kissy faces at him, and one final one with a heart at the end.

MINHO 21:18

> Sleep well pretty Jisungie, you're dumb but I wouldn't be friends with you if you weren't. Don't beat yourself up and have good dreams! ♡

Jisung falls asleep smiling, and with a new lockscreen on his phone of Minho blowing him a kiss. His chest full of a pleasant warmth.

It's a few weeks after the mall incident that Jisung gathers the courage to ask Minho.

They're in the middle of making lunch in Jisung's kitchen, just another domestic habit they've picked up ever since they found out that Minho's afternoon shift starts at the same time as Jisung's courses for the afternoon.

Minho mentioned it offhandedly, how he usually ended up in the cafe an hour earlier than scheduled because that was the only time the bus in his neighborhood made the stop that was-by some strange coincidence-right outside of Jisung's housing building, which was just around the corner from the cafe.

It worked perfectly.

Like Jisung mentioned before though, it was almost grossly domestic; eating whatever Jisung had for dinner the night before, or whatever Minho brought from his own place in Jisung's cramped lounge until they both had to leave.

It was both the most disappointing part of Jisung's day, four times a week, but also the one he looked forwards to the most. Because without fail, Minho would hug Jisung everyday before they stepped out of the front hall of the building to go their separate ways.

It was those few seconds every day that kept Jisung warm as he walked to the lecture hall.

"Hey Minho?" Jisung asks, waving his hand to gain Minho's attention from the sandwich he is making.

"Did you say something?" Minho asks, and Jisung wonders one last time if Minho will find him rude for asking, having always treated Minho no different than he would a hearing person.

Jisung wonders whether this is the invisible line he wasn't meant to cross.

"I uh, I don't want to seem rude or anything, I just kind of have a question... For you..."

"Okaay." Minho drags the last syllable out, eyebrows quirking up in curiosity.

"So, like," Jisung rubs the back of his neck, trying his best to not look away from Minho. "Wuh-What's it like to be, uh, deaf?"

The silence drags on much longer for Jisung than it does in reality, he knows, but it still is enough for him to start thinking of a million apologies, contemplating kneeling in front of Minho.

"Pfft, you're not rude Jisung, don't worry." Minho chuckles and hands Jisung his plate.

They end up on Jisung's couch like usual, facing each other as they talk.

"It's kind of hard to explain, especially since I've been deaf most of my life. Even when I still had some hearing, it was very poor, and the hearing aids I used only did so much for me."

Jisung listens to Minho with morbid fascination, his curiosity only growing now that he knows Minho is comfortable talking to him about the topic.

"Actually, I have an idea!" Minho exclaims just a bit too loud, another quirk that fills Jisung up with a warm feeling in his chest.

"So, you'll put these on, and try to read my lips, okay?" Minho explains, holding Jisung's headphones out, the ones that are nearly soundproof. Them, paired with some white noise, according to Minho, will be able to give Jisung an idea of what it's like to be able to read lips.

"It's going to be harder than it seems, I've had years of practice and experience." Minho doesn't say it as if he's bragging, just explaining. "I generally only catch seventy percent of what you're saying, and even then a lot of it is process of elimination and guesswork, depending on context clues."

Minho tells Jisung that it's not only the lips he pays attention to, it's also body language, facial expressions, and Jisung is struck with how hard Minho must work to talk with him at all, and begins to feel guilty about the number of times he spoke to fast, with food in his mouth, and so many other things that must have made it more of a challenge for Minho.

"You ready?"

Jisung nods, taking a deep breath before fitting the headphones over his ears.

It takes Jisung a moment to adjust to the buzzing in his ear, which after a few seconds, blends into a hum that reminds him of those times when it's so silent it seems like everything is so loud. In front of him, Minho gives him a thumbs up, and Jisung finds himself staring intently at Minho's lips as they move.

Jisung feels a small burst of pride when he understands Minho, but it fades quickly when Minho's lips begin to move again, in strange ways that Jisung can't follow fast enough to figure out what they mean.

He misses the first part of the sentence, but he can at least tell that it's a question. He considers it a very sad victory that isn't a victory at all.

"Do I want tteokbokkie?" Jisung asks hesitently, looking up to Minho's eyes, which crinkle up as he laughs-Jisung mourns the fact that he can't hear it happen-and shakes his head. Jisung pouts.

"Are you sure?"

Jisung pouts and takes off the headphones for a moment.

"What did you say?" Jisung asks, feigning a kick at Minho when he continues to laugh. "Come on! What did you say?"

"I asked you if you knew you were pretty."

All words leave Jisung for a moment as he stares at Minho, who gives him a shy smile in return.

"Oh..."

"Very pretty."

Minho hums as he nods, reaching up and tugging the headphones back over Jisung's ears. A shiver runs through Jisung when he feels Minho's fingers brush past his flushed cheeks.

Jisung is still frozen for a moment, until he sees Minho talking to him and his racing mind is overcome with the need to try and figure out this new puzzle. His face doesn't cool down for a long while though.

Jisung learns that he is absolutely terrible at reading lips. It seems that the more dejected Jisung becomes, the more entertained Minho appears to be.

Minho holds up one finger to help Jisung along.

Jisung nods, knowing that all too soon they'll both have to leave each other. The happy feeling in Jisung's chest will hopefully remain throughout his class, and be the one thing preventing him from smashing his head into his desk in an attempt to end his suffering.

Jisung focuses on Minho's lips, silently admiring them in the moments Minho isn't speaking, and also as he talks. Jisung finds the way Minho forms his words strangely beautiful, like a form of art that has yet to be discovered. Something Jisung could keep to himself to admire.

He thinks that even if he never wears these headphones again for this purpose, he'll be looking at Minho's lips a lot more often than he used to.

"A little slower." Jisung asks, leaning forwards, he's determined to get this last one.

Can I kiss you?

"Can I kiss you? Can I kiss you!" Jisung throws his arms up when he finally gets it, only to freeze and look at Minho, who is watching him with an expression Jisung has never seen before.

It's vulnerable, almost scared.

"Can you kiss me?" Jisung blinks a few times, unsure if he actually understood right. He almost wonders if it's a joke Minho is playing, until Minho nods slowly.

Jisung lowers his hands into his lap, jaw slack.

Minho turns to stand up, probably about to run out. Jisung snaps out of his stupor and drags Minho back down onto the couch, the static playing in his ears nothing compared to the sound of blood rushing through his head as he nods, taking Minho's hands in his own.

"Yeah, yes, please kiss me."

Minho's hands are soft, Jisung thinks when Minho settles one of them on the side of his neck, right over his pulse, which is sure to be going crazy at this point. Even more so as Minho takes his own sweet time removing the headphones and seems to take a minute to just look, though it could be Jisung's own brain turning the kiss into his very own disney moment.

His heart pounding as Minho leans in.

Jisung's breath catches in his throat when Minho's lips brush against his own, his eyes closed and hands trembling where they rest on Minho's hip and knee respectively. The taste of peach soda is both unexpected yet still unsurprising to Jisung. Something that is unapologetically Minho, he thinks fondly.

It should be awkward, seeing as one half of the situation depends on Jisung not being so, but strangely everything seems to click into place.

Minho's lips are soft, but firm against Jisung's own when he leans closer, the first brush of lips merely a tentative step before Minho's lips are moving against Jisung's and a tingling sensation spreads throughout Jisungs body.

He doesn't even notice as he leans into every touch, following Minho as he leans back, until Jisung falls forward into Minho's waiting arms with a small surprised huff. He doesn't let Minho get away with his shit eating grin though, climbing into Minho's lap and taking a handful of his shirt to keep him from moving any further away.

It takes a moment for Jisung to realize that Minho is laughing as he kisses him, Minho's other hand coming up to cup Jisung's cheek and brush his thumb across his cheekbone.

"What?" Jisung pulls away, the happiness that had begun to fill his body faltering for a moment. Did Minho think he was a bad kisser? Did he do something weird?

"Nothing, I promise, it's just your heartbeat is insane-" Minho giggles, dragging Jisung over into another gentle kiss.

"It's always like that when it comes to you." Jisung admits, shoving Minho down on the couch to kiss him again, and again, and again, until his own lips are stained with the taste of peach and Minho has felt every tremor of excitement and will know how happy he makes Jisung.

Jisung wonders if Minho can feel his smile as he kisses him, relishing every shaky exhale and small nose swallowed up by his lips. He knows Minho probably isn't even aware of them, and the thought sends a shiver down his spine that he might be one of the only people to know Minho this way. To see Minho's eyes crinkle up when Jisung kisses him all over his face, to hear Minho fall into a fit of giggles when Jisung snuggles up into his chest and presses a kiss to his jaw.

Fifteen minutes later and Jisung's heart has yet to calm itself, and if you were to look closely, you would see that Jisung's lips are slightly more red than usual. His lower lip tingles as he runs his tongue over the seam of his lips. The taste of Minho's peach soda is there, and he feels a small burst of satisfaction.

Minho kisses the corner of his smile before they leave the apartment.

They walk down the stairs to the front hall as slow as they can manage, fingers laced together even though it makes going through the revolving door a hassle.

"See you when your shift ends?" Jisung asks, and Minho is staring at his lips for a whole new reason now as he leans down to cover their inch difference and kiss Jisung before nodding.

"For sure."

"So how do I ask for a kiss in sign language?"

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on my lips (your laughter is the sweetest) - luway - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Jisung has never been a coffee person. There's just something about the taste and the way it lingers on his tongue and in the back of his throat that he could never get past. Not even with all the sugar and cream in the world-and let it be known that he had tried outrageous combinations of the two.

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how can I get enough of this sweetness TvT

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Jisung wakes up to an unfamiliar ceiling, body sore and chest heavy. He closes his eyes to try and adjust to his situation in peace. He's a little bit alarmed by the chest part, internally cursing himself for never finding a good doctor in case he's developed some sort of giant growth overnight, and he has to work up the courage to look. 1, 2, 3, open! When he opens his eyes and peels the comforter off his torso, the growth is fuzzy and breathing, and oh thank god it's just a cat. He reaches up to let it sniff his fingers, earning a little mew in response as the cat rests its head on his chest, and he reaches out to pet it gently. Under the pretense of not wanting to disturb his new friend, Jisung stays where he is for a while, trying to take in his surroundings. Looking around the room, it seems pretty normal, and he assumes he's probably not in any danger if he does decide to get up and venture further into the apartment.

It's not as if he doesn't remember who he went home with; he remembers dark hair and a handsome face and soft lips against his own at the bar. He remembers those lips trailing down his neck in the car ride to wherever he is now, then trailing down even further once they reached the bedroom. He remembers skillful hands bringing him to the edge of ecstasy, and skillful hips helping him cross the finish line. He's in no rush to forget, and to be quite frank, he's going to cherish those memories for months to come. But despite what he remembers, he doesn't actually know the man. They met at the bar where Jisung saw him from across the room and decided to buy him a drink, and after one round and some flirtatious conversation, they snuck away together. He knows he's charming as hell, because Jisung has never done this before, and the man must have felt the same about him because he kept telling Jisung he'd never taken home a stranger. But really, Jisung doesn't even know if they exchanged names. He has a cat, and it seems friendly and well taken care of, so even if he's grasping at straws he uses that thought to roll himself out of bed and brave whatever encounter is to come.

Jisung looks around at the clothes spread across the floor, then at his exposed body in the full-length mirror. Even if he hadn't remembered last night, his body certainly did. There's a dull ache in his back and a trail of bruises leading down his neck and chest, and when he turns around he can see that they reach his shoulder-blades too. He sees his getup from last night on the floor; skin-tight jeans and a black t-shirt and leather jacket, and there's nothing he wants to put on his body less right now. There's a pair of soft looking sweatpants folded neatly on his suitors dresser, and Jisung crosses his fingers and hopes he's not overstepping when he grabs them and pulls them on, noting that they're a little loose. The cat meows loudly, pacing in front of the door, so Jisung scoops it up and makes his way into the unknown world that awaits outside this cozy bedroom. The smell of breakfast wafts towards him and he follows it with his nose, venturing through the hallway, past the bathroom, and into the main section of the apartment. It's got a relatively open floor plan, and he can see the living room and the kitchen blending into one when he gets into the clearing, his mystery man from last night standing over the stove.

He looks up at the sounds of footsteps, then smiles when he sees Jisung.

"Aww, little Soonie, good morning," he says, and the cat in Jisung's arms meows and wiggles a bit. So maybe he wasn't smiling at Jisung, maybe he was just happy to see his cat. Jisung hears two more meows come from elsewhere in the room, and when he looks around there's a large cat tree in the corner of the living room accommodating this cat's buddies. "Soonie, you made a friend, huh? You two look cozy. I don't usually get the sight of a shirtless man holding my baby in the morning," he says slyly. "I kind of like it."

Jisung blushes a little at finally being acknowledged, as well as being called out for walking around half naked. He's not sure why that's embarrassing, there's not much of his body this guy hasn't seen, but he feels a bit more vulnerable with the sun streaming through the windows than he did under the shade of the night.

"Ah... Yeah, she woke me up. She's a cutie," Jisung says, hoisting the cat up a bit and patting her on the butt.

"Oh really? Good girl," the man says, leaning over Jisung a bit to give Soonie a kiss on the head. He pulls back a few inches from her head and looks up at Jisung, faces only a few inches apart. He looks conflicted, eyes questioning what's allowed under the circumstances. Jisung isn't really sure himself, this is all new to him, and while he doesn't want to break the unspoken rules of a one night stand he thinks maybe they're a little too unspoken because he doesn't actually know them. All he knows is he really enjoyed kissing this guy all of last night, and his face is three inches away, and he wants to kiss him again. So he does. It's brief, Jisung leaning over a bit to plant something just a bit more committed than a peck on the other man's lips, but it's met eagerly and they both pull away smiling. Evidently it isn't as fun for the cat in between them because once they back away she yowls, digging her nails into Jisung's shoulder to gain leverage and then jumping off his back.

"Ow!" Jisung says, letting out a little yelp and looking at his shoulder. It's not punctured, but the other man rushes to look as well, seemingly wanting to take responsibility for any problems his cat may have caused.

"It's not scratched, but are you ok?" he asks, and Jisung nods. "Sorry. Soonie is the sweetest and oldest, but she still gets jumpy sometimes. The ones over there are Doongie, the other orange one, and Dori is the little gray one. Dori is the baby. She can do no wrong." The man is pointing enthusiastically, a huge smile on his face. These are clearly his children, and Jisung can't help thinking he's extremely cute when he gets excited.

"Got it. Soonie, Doongie, Dori..." Jisung says, then hesitates for a bit. He knows his next question is going to be really uncomfortable, but it needs to be done. "I'm sorry, I know your cat's names now but... Honestly, I can't remember yours. I'm sorry, that's so fucked up." Jisung can feel his cheeks heat up, and there's not a doubt in his mind that they're turning red, which is all but confirmed when the man starts chuckling at him.

"Oh my god, I'm glad you asked so I didn't have to. I honestly forgot yours too, I'm sorry. I wasn't even drunk, just... preoccupied. Mine's Minho. Your name is... Something with a J, right?" the man, Minho, asks.

"Jisung, yeah. Um, I'm sorry, I've never had this experience, I don't know what to do. The morning after experience, I mean. I borrowed your pants, I hope that's ok, I was just gonna go to the bathroom before I headed out and got distracted by the smell of food. I'll just go wash my face and pee then head out," Jisung fibs. He had passed the bathroom on the way out, he easily could have just gone in first, but he was curious. He had wanted to see Minho in his natural state, maybe see why his subconscious had been so eager to go home with him the night before.

"Yeah, of course. It's just down the hall, feel free," Minho says. Jisung turns around to head back where he came from, but is stopped a few steps in. "Wait, Jisung!" Minho calls out. "I made a lot of food so... If you don't want to leave right away after you piss or whatever, you can stay. It's pancakes." Jisung feels his stomach grumble. The food smells amazing, and while he'd only had two drinks before sneaking out of the bar with Minho last night, whatever tiny hangover he has certainly wouldn't be mad at some homemade pancakes.

"Yeah, I like pancakes. I'll be right out," Jisung says, heading into the restroom. He looks around as he does his business, and just like the bedroom, it seems normal. He has the usual items one would expect; toothbrush, toothpaste, face wash and moisturizer. There's also an industrial sized jar of muscle balm on the counter, so Minho must do something active for a living.

That thought sparks memories of the night before, where Minho had in fact showcased incredible stamina, pushing them both over the edge multiple times. Oh god, maybe he's a porn star. Jisung thought back to his body, lean and muscular and gorgeous. He was definitely the hottest person Jisung had ever slept with. Probably the most skilled, too. If he's not a porn star, maybe he should be.

Jisung can feel himself getting too excited at the memories of the night before, so he splashes some cold water on his face, rinses his mouth out with a swig of mouthwash, and tries to mentally calm himself down before walking out of the bathroom and back into the kitchen. He's met with a place setting of pancakes, some mixed fruit, and an empty mug. This is too good to be true. He'd gotten an amazing lay and now a restaurant-quality breakfast. Jisung can feel his heart start to swell with fondness, but he tries to push it down. Is it really a good idea to get attached? He's certainly not being forced out of the apartment, but is this what's supposed to happen?

"Oh, hey. I wasn't sure if you drank coffee or not so your mug is empty, but I have more. I have tea too, if you like. No orange juice, though," Minho says frantically, gesturing around the kitchen.

"Oh, I like coffee! Thank you for all this, it's really unexpected," Jisung responds gratefully as Minho fills his mug. He helps himself to cream and sugar, then starts cutting his pancakes and drowning them in syrup.

"Should I have kicked you out first thing? I still could, if you want," Minho says, laughing as he sees Jisung's face turn into one of shock, mouth still full of half-chewed pancake. "I'm just kidding, calm down." Jisung finishes chewing and swallows his pancakes, trying to calm his heart a bit from the threat.

"You scared me! I don't want to be walking around outside like this," Jisung says, motioning down at his current outfit.

"Hmm? You look good though? The sweats look good on you," Minho says, looking at Jisung appreciatively. "Your neck looks pretty too." Jisung locks eyes with him. This guy isn't shy about what they did at all, he's proud of it. Maybe he wants more?

"It does look pretty, right? I'm just sorry I didn't return the favor," Jisung replies, making eye contact and trying out his smuggest smile. Minho laughs, reaching out to lightly press on one of the larger marks he left on Jisung. It aches a bit, and Jisung must flinch slightly because Minho removes his finger after a second. Jisung picks at his food some, taking the strawberries and blueberries out of his little bowl of mixed fruit and spreading them on top of the pancakes so he can get a perfect bite. He hears laughter from Minho again at his actions, and while he chomps down on the new combination and moans in bliss, he sees Minho pick the berries out of his own bowl and put them onto Jisung's pancakes as well.

"Oh, you really don't have to give up yours!" Jisung says, not wanting to put his host out.

"Aww, come on. They aren't my favorite, and you clearly like them. I would have put them in the batter if I knew," Minho says, continuing his task. "And I like the sound you make when you eat them. Mmmm," Minho continues, mocking Jisung's moan.

"Mmmmmm," Jisung repeats, grabbing another bite of pancakes and moaning even louder. "Mmm oh fuck yeah," he gasps, throwing his head back as he swallows.

"How can you do that at 9 a.m. on a Saturday? Don't you have any shame?" Minho asks incredulously. He'd been the one to start the teasing but Jisung could tell he had the upper hand.

"Not in front of you," Jisung returns, smiling cheekily. He returns to his breakfast, gulping down some coffee in hopes that it will wake him up and maybe bring him back to the real world. He feels like he's in some state of limbo, still blissed out from the night before and immensely attracted to Minho despite the logical side of his brain telling him he should get out while he can before he gets attached.

They sit and chat while eating breakfast, discussing the neighborhood (Jisung's not actually too far from his own home, as it turns out), the weather (it's overcast and unpleasant outside), and if they go to that bar from last night often (no, it was both their first times last night). Minho refills his own coffee once the first cup is gone and his plate is empty, and Jisung does the same because even though he's fully awake now, he wants to keep talking to Minho. He's sweet and funny and they get along well, which makes this even harder. Eventually both their second cups are empty too, and Jisung can't really think of an excuse not to leave.

"Well, thank you again for the breakfast. It was really delicious," he says, walking his plate and mug over to the sink and rinsing them off.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about doing that. And you're welcome, again. Any time," Minho responds. Any time. Does that mean he'd be willing to meet again? Jisung shakes his head a little bit, trying not to get carried away with that line of thinking. Instead, he smiles politely at Minho and excuses himself to the bedroom to change.

"Oh, I'll help you find everything," Minho says, following Jisung down the hallway closely. One of the cats, Dori this time, is weaving between their legs, forcing Jisung to take careful steps. He's trying, but midstep she sprints under Jisung's raised foot, causing him to have to swivel to avoid stepping on her. Minho grabs Jisung's waist to help support him, clutching on tightly to the bare skin, and Jisung feels the area he's touching burn with excitement and memories of the night before. He turns around quickly, not wanting to allow enough time to break the grip, and puts his arms around Minho's shoulders.

"Thanks," he says quietly, looking at Minho and flickering his gaze between dark eyes and plush lips. He's not disposed to be subtle about what he wants, and right now he wants another taste of last night. Minho makes the move this time, diving in and connecting his lips with Jisung's in a surge of desire. He walks Jisung backwards into the bedroom, guiding him around any major blockades and pushing him towards the bed. His kisses are incredible, and Jisung loves the taste of coffee on Minho's lips infinitely more than he'd liked the beer on them the night prior. He wants more.

But he shouldn't take more. There's a reason he hasn't been looking for a boyfriend, for why he had initiated a one night stand for the first time in his life. He could have chatted with Minho at the bar, asked for his number, taken him on a date. But Jisung can tell that if he'd done all that, he'd end up with a boyfriend, and he isn't sure he's ready. His recent breakup wasn't that long ago, and it wasn't the slightest bit pleasant. He hadn't thought about his ex since he started talking to Minho last night, and his emotional connection to the bastard was cut, but he didn't want a rebound. Or at least, if he was going to have a rebound, he didn't want it to be someone like Minho, who was sweet and funny and sexy and perfect. Minho deserved Jisung at his best, and he wasn't sure if he was there yet. And Jisung can tell that if he takes more, he's going to get attached. So he pulls away.

"Ah... I'm sorry. Is this a good idea? If this was just a one night stand, shouldn't we have a clean break?" Jisung asks, feeling guilty when he saw Minho's face turn into one of confusion.

"Is that what you want?" he asks, backing off a bit to give Jisung room to breathe.

"I don't know. That's what's supposed to happen, right? But... I don't know. I've never done this. I've never gone on a walk of shame. I feel dirty. Not, like, because of you. Like my hair feels dirty and I probably stink cuz god knows I was sweating a lot last night and the idea of putting on bar clothes and walking fifteen minutes through the city in them at 9:30 in the morning is something I never thought I'd do. It's just weird. I don't know," Jisung says. He knows he's rambling, but he's confused, and it's possible that his body is literally doing everything it can to keep him in Minho's presence for a little while longer.

"Well, I don't really know either," Minho says, sitting on the bed next to Jisung. "I don't have to do the walk of shame here, so I can't really relate. Do you want to shower? Would that help?" Jisung thinks about that for a second. It would solve a few of his issues, namely smelling bad and having greasy hair. It would buy him more time in Minho's apartment. It would certainly not help him with the fact that he's growing very attached to this man, but hey, you win some you lose some.

"Yeah. I do, if you don't mind," Jisung says, standing up and looking at Minho. He's wearing lounge clothes, a simple tee and gym shorts, but he looks really good. He doesn't seem to have showered before making breakfast, because his hair is a mess and there's a little bit of eyeliner smudged under his lash-line from last night still. His lips are a little slick from the brief makeout session they'd just had, neck a little red from excitement too. Jisung wants him. When Minho asked what Jisung wanted earlier, he wasn't sure, but now he is. Ex be damned, he's not going to pass this up. Just a little more, then he'll go. Jisung walks over to Minho and pulls him up off the bed, pressing a kiss to his lips. "If you want... you could shower too? Save some water? I think it might be earth month or something."

Minho nods enthusiastically, kissing Jisung deeply for a moment and then pulling back to peel off his own shirt. He leads them through the hallway and into the bathroom, turning on the shower and adjusting the temperature as Jisung hops onto the counter to wait. It's not a huge bathroom, and having both of them in here is a little cramped, but the shower should fit both of them just fine.

"What do you do?" Jisung asks as Minho pulls out two clean towels from under his cabinet. He's playing with the muscle balm he saw earlier, opening it to take a sniff and recoiling from the intense smell of menthol. Minho laughs at him, taking the jar from his hands and closing it, then leaning in for another kiss.

"You're cute. I'm a dancer, that stuff is my lifeblood," Minho says, putting it back on the counter and trailing his lips down some of the more prominent bruises he'd left the night before.

"A dancer? Do you want to do the horizontal tango with me?" Jisung asks in his most flirtatious voice, which just makes Minho laugh again.

"Maybe later. Are you coming to join me?" Minho asks, stripping off his pants and stepping into the shower, body fully on display.

"God yes," Jisung says, stripping himself down and climbing in. He gets as close as possible to Minho, letting the hot water run down both of their bodies as they connect their lips again. This time, Jisung breaks the seal with his tongue, licking into Minho's mouth and trying to ignore the water spilling between them. He pulls away only long enough only to grab a handful of body wash and spread it between his hands, running them down Minho's body and washing the sweat and sex off him from the night before. His muscles feel even better than what Jisung remembered now that his hands slide over them so easily, and once Minho's neck is clean he presses his lips to it and begins to suck.

"Hmm? Are you trying to make us match?" Minho asks quietly, leaning his head back and resting it against the tile. Jisung continues working his way down, licking and sucking tiny marks against the length of his neck, then biting and making a larger one where Minho's neck and shoulder meet. He's been running his hands along Minho's abs and back up until now, but as he presses more marks into his skin Jisung finds his hand roaming lower and lower until he's got Minho firmly in his grasp. He carries on, enjoying the breathy sounds of pleasure he can hear from Minho until he's interrupted. "Jisung... wait."

"Wait for what?" Jisung asks, moving his face back up to briefly reconnect their lips.

"Wait... My turn," Minho says, peeling himself off the wall and pushing them both back into the center of the shower. He pumps out some body wash, running his hands over Jisung's body just as was done to him. When he reaches around to Jisung's back, Minho starts massaging circles into Jisung's tanned skin, moving lower and lower as he goes. It feels amazing, and for a moment Jisung forgets about how aroused they both are, just enjoying the way the knots in his back are being worked out. Then he feels Minho reach even lower, grabbing at his ass and rubbing circles, then reaching between his cheeks. Jisung lets out a little moan at the promise of more of what he got last night, until Minho grazes over him and Jisung can't help but jump and yelp.

"Ah. Sorry..." Jisung says, feeling embarrassed for ruining the mood. Minho doesn't look upset, just concerned, and he presses a sweet kiss to Jisung's cheek to make him feel better.

"Don't be sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you. Are you sore?" He asks, bringing his hands to the front of Jisung's body and stroking him as gently as possible. Jisung was definitely sore, they'd gone three rounds last night and he'd bottomed each time. He hadn't exactly asked for Minho to be gentle, either.

"Yeah, a little," Jisung says, pushing closer to Minho and connecting their hands.

"Then should we switch things up?" Minho questions, pulling Jisung's hands around to grasp at his ass.

"Seriously?" Jisung asks, amazed that he'd been so quick to shift gears. Minho quirks a brow at him, and Jisung squeezes tight. It's been a while since he topped, but he's certainly not opposed. "I mean, fuck yeah, absolutely. I want you, definitely, I don't care how." Jisung says, flipping Minho around so he's facing the wall, bottom sticking out. Jisung drops to his knees, pulling Minho apart with his hands and watching the water run down his most exposed areas. "Do you have lube in here?" he asks.

"Yeah, in the cabinet, third drawer," Minho responds, voice breathy from excitement. Jisung leans out of the shower and finds the tube, half empty. Strawberry. There are condoms in the drawer as well, so he pulls one out and places it on the ledge of the tub. He gets back into the shower, on his knees once again, and positions Minho a little further from the stream of water so he's closer to the back wall.

"You're a dancer right? How flexible are you?" Jisung asks, running his hand over the globe of Minho's butt again. He doesn't respond verbally, just hitches one leg up onto the ledge of the tub to give Jisung better access. "Perfect," Jisung whispers, spreading the lube over Minho and leaning in to get a taste. He hears satisfied sighs as he works Minho open with his tongue, bringing his fingers into the mix after some time has passed. Eventually he hears a fist hit the wall gently, and Minho's sighs turn into groans.

"Jisung, enough, please. I need more. Give me more," he groans, clearly done playing games. Jisung doesn't argue, he's feeling it too, and he can tell any amount of friction he'd gotten from his hands while licking into Minho was nothing in comparison to what he was about to feel. He grabs the condom from the ledge, peeling it open and rolling it on, and pushes himself up, noting how red his knees have become. He must have been enjoying himself down there for longer than he realized.

"Are you ready?" Jisung asks, pressing kisses into Minho's spine as he lines himself up.

"God, yes," Minho says, arching his back in hopes to get Jisung to move quicker. He laughs at the action, enjoying seeing a new side of Minho, but abides by his wishes and presses in. Jisung can't believe how good he feels completely surrounded by Minho, changing his pace upon request and absorbing all the pleasure this position has to offer. Looking down at Minho, bent over and supporting himself against the wall, taking everything Jisung can give him, Jisung knows he wasn't wrong in his initial thought process. He's certainly not getting any less attached.

"Minho, you're amazing, holy shit," Jisung moans, reaching around to try and help support him and give any extra stimulation he can. Minho responds positively, changing his position so his back is flush against Jisung's chest and stomach and he can angle around to let their lips meet. It's too much Minho at once, and Jisung can tell he's going to burst. "Close, I'm close," he says in between kisses, and Minho nods.

"Me too, just a little more," Minho responds, shifting his angle just a little bit forward as Jisung quickens his pace. It all hits at once, and Jisung finishes with Minho's name on his lips, Minho following just a moment after. Jisung pulls out slowly, peeling off the condom and tying it before tossing it into the wastebasket. When he turns his attention back to Minho, he's moved into the stream of warm water, sunk to his knees in fatigue.

"Did I make you hold that position too long?" Jisung asks in concern, dropping down to his knees as well so they're on the same level.

"No, I'm ok, it was good. Really good. It's just comfy down here," Minho says with an endearing smile, giving Jisung a kiss. "Don't underestimate my skills as a dancer. I could hold that all day."

"Ok, ok, sorry to doubt a professional. So how long are we staying down here?" Jisung asks, pushing Minho's soaking bangs out of his face to look into his eyes.

"A while," Minho responds, tilting his head back.

"Ok, well can you turn around for me? I'll wash your hair," Jisung says. Minho obeys, sinking down into a more relaxed position so they're both facing the shower head. Jisung pumps out some shampoo and lathers it into Minho's hair, rubbing little circles into his scalp as he rinses it out. He repeats the same with conditioner, enjoying the little satisfied hums he's getting from Minho each time he rubs over the spot at the base of his neck. When everything is rinsed, Minho demands he be allowed to do the same, spinning Jisung around.

"Your hair is kind of crispy," Minho says upon first lathering shampoo onto Jisung's head. Jisung bursts into laughter at the bluntness of the statement.

"Thank you for pointing that out. It comes with the blonde territory, that bleach really fucked me over. I probably do need to deep condition it, though," Jisung says, relishing in the way Minho's fingers feel against his scalp. They're slender and nimble, and he keeps his nails longer than Jisung, providing a relaxing scratching sensation he can't achieve on his own.

"Well, you're lucky the blonde suits you at least. It certainly caught my eye," says Minho, tilting Jisung's head back a bit so he can rinse all the shampoo out and start on step two.

"Would you still have accepted a drink from me if my hair was black?" Jisung asks, eyes closed to avoid the stream of water from getting in them. He doesn't get a response for a few moments, but feels Minho shift a little, and opens his eyes in curiosity. Minho is at his side now, inspecting his face and body as he sits naked and vulnerable.

"Definitely," Minho says, leaning over to press a kiss to his cheek. Jisung smiles and closes his eyes again, happy with the assessment. He reaches up to make sure the last of the conditioner is gone, then spins to face Minho. His neck is now almost as marked up as Jisung's own, and the leftover makeup is gone from his face. He's pushed his hair back so it lays slick against his head, exposing feline eyes and a soft smile. Jisung can't help but admire his beauty, feeling lucky to see Minho in this kind of scenario. He doesn't want it to end, so he leans in, kissing Minho slowly. It's leisurely and lacking the desperation from before, just two people taking their time with each other, and they don't detach their lips until the warmth starts to fade from the water pouring over them.

They get out and wrap themselves in Minho's fuzziest towels, leaving their clothes on the floor of the bathroom as they shuffle back to the bedroom. Jisung sees his leather jacket and jeans on the ground and kicks them aside without even considering getting dressed, instead sitting on the bed and toweling off his hair as he leans against the headboard. Minho joins him, and they take turns using excess moisture to spike each other's hair into different shapes and laughing.

That's how Jisung finds himself perched on Minho's lap, twisting little pieces of dark brown hair against each other. It must have been relaxing, because when Jisung looks down Minho's eyes are closed, breathing steady, and Jisung realizes he's drifted off to sleep. He looks peaceful and happy, and it makes Jisung feel the same. He realizes this is his best opportunity; if he wants to leave and cut things off without a fuss, marking this as the one night stand it was meant to be, he should leave now while Minho's asleep. Instead, Jisung climbs off Minho's lap, curls up next to him, and pulls a quilt over their bare bodies, letting his eyes flutter shut.

Jisung awakens when he feels pressure on his cheek, groaning when it turns into a pinch. He opens his eyes to find Minho staring at him, head on the same pillow just a few inches away.

"You're still here," Minho says, looking like he's trying not to smile. Oh yeah, why am I still here?

"Oh, I guess I am. Sorry. Can you let go of my cheek please?" Jisung says, wiggling his head a little to try to break free from Minho's clutches. He lets go, moving his hand from Jisung's cheek to the back of his neck and pulling so they end up nose to nose. Jisung can't help but smile, leaning in to meet in the middle for yet another kiss that's only going to serve to keep him wanting more.

"Why do you keep apologizing? Do you think I don't want you here?" Minho asks, running his fingers through Jisung's hair.

"I mean, kind of. I just feel like I might be intruding? I was the one who bought you a drink last night and started this, and then we ended up in your apartment, and now I'm still hanging around and taking time out of your day," Jisung replies, looking at the clock on Minho's nightstand. "It's already almost noon, I've taken up half your day with my bullshit."

"I promise, you're not being a burden," Minho says. "I like your bullshit. If you want to leave, I get it, but I'm happy to have you here. Do you want to leave?"

"I-AHH!" Jisung shouts, jumping in place and curling closer to Minho when he's interrupted by a loud crash. He turns around to look out the window and sees a sudden downpour, realizing he's been interrupted by thunder. "Well I'm sure as hell not going out in that!" Jisung says, flinching a little when he hears another crash.

"Are you scared of thunder?" Minho asks, wrapping a protective arm around Jisung.

"No, no, thunder is fine. I'm just jumpy when there's loud noises involved. You should never take me to a thriller movie," Jisung says.

"Ahh, I don't know, it's kind of cute. I kind of want to bring you to one now," Minho says, and Jisung can feel his face heat up and his heart race a bit. That implies Minho wants to see him again. Which implies Jisung isn't the only one getting caught up in how nice this feels, laying in each other's arms and spending a lazy Saturday as a couple despite barely knowing each other. He wonders if Minho can feel how fast his heart is beating. He can tell the blush hasn't gone unnoticed, because Minho has moved his hand so the back is laying on Jisung's cheek, trying to cool it down. "So, what do you want to do?"

"I don't know. We can lay here and you can keep staring at my handsome face-" Jisung starts, but is cut off by Minho squishing his cheek again.

"It is very handsome."

"It is. Or we can order lunch, on me. Or we can watch TV," Jisung offers, not knowing what Minho really has around his home to keep them occupied.

"Lunch sounds good, but not right now. I'm still sorta full from breakfast," Minho says, tapping a finger to his chin in fake thought. "What if we lay here, and you come just a little closer, and we roll around naked in this bed and make out for a while?" Minho propositions. God, Jisung is so gone for this man.

"You're insatiable," Jisung says, not opposed to the idea whatsoever but trying to keep his cool a bit.

"You don't want to?" Minho asks, pouting a bit and widening his eyes.

"God no, I definitely want to. Come here," Jisung says, pulling their bodies flush against each other. "I just think I've spent more of the last 12 hours kissing you than not. I'm gonna need some good chapstick," Jisung says, licking over his lips.

"I'll let you borrow chapstick, just come here," Minho says, finally connecting their lips. It feels good, as Jisung knew it would. He's not under any impression this is going to lead to sex; it was only an hour or two prior that he was buried inside Minho, and only a few hours before that when the reverse was true. Even so, he loves the taste of Minho's mouth and lips, loves the way they fit so well with his and the rhythm they're starting to build the more they do this. Jisung has already learned so much; how wild Minho goes when Jisung nibbles on his bottom lip, the pattern that he defaults to when their tongues run against each other, the amount of time they can stay connected before having to pull away to breathe just so they can do it all over again. He could spend hours figuring out the intricacies of Minho's mouth alone.

Unfortunately Jisung's body doesn't allow for hours. They still get in their fair share of kisses, but about thirty minutes in Jisung feels his stomach rumble. He ignores it, instead focusing on pressing little kisses to Minho's jaw and whispering sweet compliments into his ears as Jisung uses his hands to map out his favorite parts of Minho's body. Ten minutes later it happens again, only this time much louder. He tries to ignore it, but their kiss is interrupted by Minho giggling, and Jisung pulls away with a pout.

"How about that lunch you promised me?" Minho says, trailing kisses down Jisung's body and landing at his stomach. It growls again, and Minho blows a raspberry back in response, causing Jisung to burst out laughing at how ticklish the action is and how dumb Minho looks. He seems to like the reaction, because Minho blows another one, and Jisung laughs again while trying to stop his legs from kicking up in response to the feeling.

"Stop, stop! Are you trying to communicate with my stomach?" Jisung shrieks, still laughing hysterically.

"I am. And I succeeded. I think it likes me," Minho says, bringing his head back up. Jisung can only stare at him fondly and admire his red lips and bright eyes, sparkling in the sun.

"It definitely likes you," Jisung responds. It's not just my stomach. I definitely like you. "Alright!" he says, rolling out of bed and pulling his arms up into a big stretch. It strikes him how shameless he must look right now, ass out with no clothes on in the middle of the day, doing nothing to prevent someone who was a stranger less than a day ago from seeing every part of him, even when he's not in his most flattering form. The shades aren't even drawn, and if someone were to look through the window they could definitely see him, but again, he can't find it in himself to give a shit. "What do you want for lunch?"

"Mexican?" Minho asks, walking to his closet to grab some clothes and pulling them on.

"Uhh... something easier on the stomach? Chinese?" Jisung responds. Minho nods, still sorting through his closet. Jisung watches him pick up a t-shirt, then hold up an oversized button-up, eventually tossing the button-up over his way. Jisung slides it on and looks in the mirror at the way it slides down to show his collarbones and hangs just down to his thighs. He looks like someone's boyfriend. Surprisingly, he likes it. "Why this one?"

"Oh. Um, just versatility. You can keep the sleeves down or roll them up if you're hot," Minho says, looking away. The backs of his ears are a little red, and Jisung wonders if maybe he's fulfilling the boyfriend fantasy for Minho, too. "Do you want shorts or do you want to just wear the sweats from the bathroom?"

"The sweats from earlier are fine, thanks," Jisung says, walking out to grab them. Minho follows him and they settle on the couch in the living room, picking out their food and placing the order. Jisung covers the cost as promised in an effort to repay Minho for room, board, and breakfast. Minho clicks the TV on and they find a drama they both like, letting it drown out the thunder and rain from outside as they wait on their food. In the dull parts of the drama, they fall into comfortable conversation once again.

When the food arrives forty minutes later, they move into the kitchen and set themselves up on the island. This specific restaurant was new to Jisung, and Minho had ordered some dishes he'd never heard of in his life.

"What is that?" Jisung askes, pointing at a meat dish he can't pronounce the name of. It's brightly colored and surrounded by veggies, and he's certain he's never had it before.

"It's a chicken dish. Do you want some? It's a little spicy," Minho says, picking up a piece with his chopsticks. It looks a little threatening, and Jisung is trying to be kind to his system, but he can't say he isn't intrigued.

"I'm not a coward. Let me try," he said, opening his mouth and gesturing for Minho to feed him. Minho smirks and moves it towards him, making little airplane noises, which Jisung glares at. He closes his lips around the chopsticks and... Oh fuck, I made a mistake. Jisung bites down, praying it can't get any worse, but flavor bursts into his mouth and it's all he can do not to cough. A little spicy was the understatement of the year.

"Oh my god, your eyes are watering. Are you ok?" Minho asks, trying not to laugh. Jisung keeps chewing, and chewing, and chewing, and he can feel how warm his face is. He hopes he's not sweating, because after a minute he can tell there are definitely tears running down his face and he's not sure how much more embarrassment he can take. Minho is laughing his ass off now, but he walks over to the fridge and grabs some milk, which he sets on the counter while he searches for a glass. Jisung really wants to be patient, but he's pretty sure he's on the verge of death, so he swallows all his food and grabs the carton. Before he can think about it, he starts waterfalling the milk into his mouth, gulping it down as quickly as he can and swishing it around his mouth.

"You're evil," Jisung says when he can breath again, doing his best to shoot daggers at Minho. He's finally found a glass and poured some milk into it, just in case Jisung needs more, but the damage is already done.

"I'm sorry, Jisung. I didn't know you were that sensitive," Minho says, pouting as he walks up to Jisung and wraps an arm around him. He grabs a napkin off the kitchen island and dries the tears from Jisung's face with his free hand, wiping the extra sauce off Jisung's mouth. He leans in to steal a little kiss, which Jisung returns for a second until he gets a little hint of spice off Minho's lips and has to pull away to take another swig of milk.

"You taste like hell. That chicken is cooked in hell. I'm in hell," Jisung says, panting a little. "But I'm sorry if I contaminated your milk."

"It's ok, I can get more. Drink what you need. But stick to your fried rice for now, ok?" Minho says. He's doing a really good job of being comforting, and Jisung feels a little bad for pushing him away. He leans in and gives Minho a kiss on the cheek, trying his best to avoid the hellish spicy flavor while still expressing his gratitude.

"Thank you," Jisung says with a smile, digging back into his own food.

The rest of lunch goes peacefully. Jisung sticks to his favorite tried-and-true dishes, even when Minho tells him he has something mild to give a shot. Doongie finally comes out from his seclusion when he sees them eating, sitting on the floor and staring up at the variety of dishes Jisung and Minho are chowing down on. Jisung coos, trying to give the cat some extra veggies until Minho swats his hand away.

"He can't have veggies?" Jisung asks, pouting.

"It's not a veggie problem, it's a people food problem," Minho replies.

"What about chicken? Cats like meat, right?" Jisung tries again, pulling a tiny piece of chicken from his plate and reaching down again.

"Jisung- Wait, what's your last name?" Minho asks.

"Han. Why?" Jisung questions.

"It's easier to scold people when you can use their full name. Han Jisung if you don't stop trying to give my cat human food I will kick you out of this apartment and right into that thunder storm. You will be jumping your way down the street." Minho says, faking anger as best he can. Jisung giggles, undoing an extra button on his shirt and shimmying so it slips down his shoulder, exposing his neck and collarbone along with all the marks Minho has left. He's got the boyfriend shirt on, he's going to make use of it.

"Do you really want me to leave?" Jisung purrs, smirking and giving Minho his best 'do me' eyes. He sees Minho's gaze wander down, then watches as he fake coughs and looks away.

"No," is all Minho can muster.

"Good," Jisung says, crawling as best he can into Minho's lap given that they're sitting on barstools and issuing him a kiss. "Then let's pack up this food and keep watching that drama!"

Minho agrees, and Jisung begins splitting the dishes into two containers as Minho gives the cats their actual food. They get back onto the couch, Minho sitting up and Jisung with his head resting in the other's lap, and restart the drama. It's some show about a workplace romance, two coworkers who hated each other until they were assigned to work together and fell in love. It's sweet and easy to digest. The characters like each other, and they know they like each other, because they've seen every aspect of each other's lives.

Jisung looks up at Minho, incredibly focused on the screen. It's not the best angle, Jisung can mostly just see up his nostrils right now (no bats in the cave, thank goodness), but he still enjoys how comfortable his position is. He doesn't know every aspect of Minho's life; he probably doesn't even know ten percent of it. So how is he already catching feelings? He turns back to the screen, hooking an arm around Minho's knee and scooting closer as he watches the romance unfold.

Halfway into the next episode, a glare shines onto the TV screen, causing Jisung to look over at the window.

"Oh. It stopped raining," Jisung says quietly, trying to hide his disappointment. He never thought he'd be so sad to see the sun, but the thunderstorm had been his excuse to stay, and now it's gone. He looks up at Minho, who seems to be frowning as well.

"Yeah, no more thunder. What do you want to do?" Minho asks, pushing Jisung's bangs back and leaning down to peck him on the forehead. This guy. What does he think Jisung is going to say when he does things like that?

"I can't just leave mid-episode," Jisung says quietly, and Minho smiles.

"No, you can't. Pick your head up for a second though, I'm gonna pull the shades down," Minho says, and Jisung obliges. Minho gets up to do what he's set out for, but before he can sit back down, Jisung pulls him onto the couch in a splayed out position. "Hey! What's the idea?"

"Lay with me," Jisung says, positioning Minho's body so he's laying against the back of the sofa, then pressing against him in a spooning position. He feels Minho relax against him, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Ok. But use your words next time," Minho says with a chuckle, turning the show back on. Jisung just hums in agreement, locking his fingers with the hand Minho has around his waist and moving them around. He continues playing with them for a few more minutes until Minho pulls his hand back, placing it at the top of Jisung's spine and beginning to rub little circles into tense areas on his back. Jisung can hear himself letting out little noises of pleasure, but he can't bring himself to care.

All good things must come to an end, and when the episode credits start scrolling across the screen, Jisung turns to face Minho on the couch.

"So it's time, huh? Ready for me to finally get out of your hair?" Jisung says, trying to joke around despite the heaviness he feels in his heart. Minho doesn't say anything, just puts a hand on Jisung's cheek, eyes unreadable. Jisung knows this is kind of crazy, they only live fifteen minutes from each other and could easily make plans, but he feels like he's living in a perfect little bubble right now and when he walks out the door it will pop. But eventually, it has to pop. "Well, I'm gonna go get changed into my nasty clothes now. I guess a four p.m. walk of shame is better than a nine a.m. one." Jisung says, turning around and standing up.

"Wait, Jisung," Minho calls out, causing Jisung to whip his body around. "Why don't you just wear what you have on? You don't want to walk around in dirty clothes, right?" Jisung looks down at what he has on. He's not sure sweats and a button up is going to be the best match for his combat boots, but he can't deny he doesn't really want to change.

"But these are yours, I can't just take them home," Jisung replies.

"Well, I'll get them back. Next time we meet, ok? And I really like that shirt, so it's going to have to be sooner than later," Minho says, walking up to Jisung and adjusting the shirt collar, then fixing up the buttons so the shirt is less revealing.

"Yeah, next time we meet," Jisung says, pulling Minho into a short kiss. "So that means I need your number. And your last name, because it's not fair that you know mine and I don't know yours." Minho grins, and Jisung runs into the bedroom to get his phone and gather up his clothes from last night. He smiles when he sees Minho put his name into the phone.

<3 Lee Minho <3

Jisung laughs and pockets the phone, leaning into Minho for a goodbye kiss. He's going to see Minho again, this isn't a big deal. He laces up his boots and leans in for another. They agreed to meet soon, stop freaking out. He puts his hand on the doorknob and turns it, then stops to make sure he has his keys and wallet. Everything is there, so he grabs the bag of dirty clothes and turns to give Minho one more kiss. Or I could just stay. Jisung pushes the thought out of his mind as he shoves the door open. But before he can even step into the hallway, Jisung is pulled back into the entrance and the door is shut behind him.

"I'm sorry, this is probably really out of line. But... what if you just stay? Just one more night? I don't know what it is, but I just... I want you to stay," Minho says, voice a little shaky with uncertainty. He looks a little panicked and guilty, like he didn't realize he was going to do this until it happened. "I get that you were expecting a one night stand or whatever, but this doesn't feel like a one night stand, does it? Am I crazy? I'm sorry if I'm crazy and I'm the only one feeling like this, but I really just don't want you to walk out that door right now." Oh thank god.

Jisung drops his bag and pulls Minho into a hug. Thank god it's not just me. There are implications to this, he's fully aware of that. If he stays another night, he's going to wake up to Minho once again. It's not fair for him to lead Minho on if he has no intention of seeing him again, but at some point during this picturesque day, he'd lost sight of that idea entirely. He knows he's going to see Minho again. He knows he's in too deep to let go. And unlike before, he's not all that scared anymore.

"I'll stay. You're not crazy, it's not just you. I've avoided leaving all day for a reason, I need to know what it is," Jisung says, pulling Minho into a kiss. "Although, I'm pretty sure I've got a good idea," he says when he pulls away.

"Ok. Ok, let's go," Minho says, leaning down to put on a pair of shoes.

"What? I thought we just said I was staying here! Where are we going?" Jisung asks. Minho gets up and plants a peck on his lips.

"We're going down the block to the convenience store. We're getting you a toothbrush and some chapstick. And a bottle of tequila," Minho says, grabbing his keys and opening the door. Jisung's getting a little bit of whiplash from everything that's just been decided, and he finds himself frozen in the doorway until Minho grabs him by the wrist and pulls him out. He finds his hand creeping lower until his fingers intertwine with Minho's, walking down the hall and into the elevator hand in hand. When they get to the front door, Jisung looks down, wondering if it's appropriate to be walking down the street hand in hand when he has no idea what to call their relationship. He decides to play it safe and pull away, and Minho glances down quickly at the motion but if he's offended he hides it well. They walk down the block and Jisung realizes they're in an even more familiar area than he thought.

"Minho, Minho!" Jisung calls quietly, tapping Minho on the shoulder. He turns around to look at Jisung, then trains his line of vision to the direction Jisung is pointing with his arm outstretched. "I work like, three blocks that way! We're so close," he says, smiling at the coincidence.

"Three blocks that way? What do you even do? You know I'm a dancer but I have no idea about your job, now that you mention it," Minho replies.

"I work at the school. I'm a music teacher for grade schoolers," he says.

"Ohh. Is that why my cats like you so much?" Minho says, face changing like he's just connected two pieces of a puzzle.

"Minho, what? Can you please explain that logic?" Jisung says, eyebrows raised in confusion.

"Well, I don't know, grade schoolers are temperamental and so are cats. It makes sense to me," Minho says, putting his arm around Jisung and directing him around a street corner. Jisung doesn't question it anymore, just giggles and follows Minho's pull. They head to the back of the store first, grabbing a bottle of tequila and some orange juice to chase it down with at Jisung's request. They head towards the toothbrushes and Minho reaches out to grab one until Jisung stops him.

"Excuse me, soft bristles? Do you not want my mouth to be clean?" Jisung askes, feigning offence.

"Soft bristles provide a gentle and relaxing experience. Like a spa. What's the issue?" Minho asks.

"Look at these gums. They're the picture of health. Do you think I got this way taking the relaxing route?" he responds, spreading his lips in the widest smile he can muster. Minho looks closer, making little affirmative noises as he inspects Jisung's mouth.

"Did you know when you smile like that your mouth turns into a heart? That's the cutest shit I've ever seen. Very well then. Firm it is," Minho says, grabbing a new toothbrush and placing it in the cart before dragging Jisung to a big display of lip balm.

"Ok, what should my lips taste like?" Jisung asks, gesturing at the display.

"I get to choose?"

"You're going to be tasting it."

Minho looks carefully at the variety of flavors. He picks up one in brown packaging, smirking at Jisung as he holds it up.

"Root Beer? Ugh, veto'd. I'm not twelve," Jisung says in disgust.

"Ok. Pomegranate?"

"Hmm... Sweet but not too sweet, kind of festive, definitely distinguished. It's a good option," Jisung ponders.

"Or this?" Minho asks, holding up a tube of strawberry.

"Strawberry! Fun, youthful but not immature, a classic! Strawberry lip balm is addicting and keeps you on your toes with it's wit. It's both classy and sexy. I think we have a winner!" Jisung says excitedly.

"Are you describing lip balm or are you describing yourself?" Minho asks, laughing at Jisung's antics.

"Both," he says, walking up to the cash register area.

"Ah, wait here, I need one more thing," Minho says, handing Jisung the basket and running off. He comes back a minute later, a small box in hand. Jisung looks closer to see a familiar label.

"Condoms? You had at least three left at your place," Jisung whispers, feeling his face heat up a bit.

"I know," Minho whispers into Jisung's ear. "But you never know what's gonna happen, right? You said it yourself, it's easy to get addicted." Jisung is certain he's bright red by now, hoping nobody else can hear this conversation.

"Now I know why you asked me to stay. I see what I am to you," He says, jutting his lower lip out in the biggest pout he can procure. He hopes it hides how excited he is for whatever happens later. "Just a handsome boy to have your way with."

"Your words, not mine," Minho says, laughing as the cashier calls them up. He covers the cost of everything, stating that he'll be the one to enjoy the leftovers.

"So. Tequila, OJ, condoms, and a toothbrush. The kit to a perfect first date, huh?" Jisung asks, faking introspection as they leave the store. Minho pulls him to the side, under the cover of a cooler so they're slightly hidden, and kisses Jisung deeply, pulling away after roughly thirty seconds.

"You forgot the chapstick. If our supposed date goes as well as I'm planning it to, you'll definitely need the chapstick," Minho says, joining their hands together and leading them back to his apartment. Jisung can't stop smiling the whole way. He's so fucking smitten.

They get settled back in the apartment, Jisung running to the bathroom straight away to give his teeth a thorough brushing. Mouthwash just doesn't cut it after a certain point, and after his dentist recommended two minutes of brushing he feels like a whole new man. When he walks back out to the living room, he stops in front of Minho and holds his hand out, to which he receives a blank stare.

"Chapstick, please," he says, waiting for Minho to retrieve his new purchase and hand it over. Once he spreads it on his lips, he gives Minho a kiss.

"Tasty, right? I am the human personification of strawberries," Jisung says proudly.

"You know that's a weird thing to brag about, right? Even if it's true, it's not really one for the resume or dating apps," Minho says.

"Well I have a job, and I'm not on dating apps, so luckily that doesn't matter," Jisung says, stealing another quick peck. Minho wraps his arms around Jisung and pick him up a few inches off the floor, just enough to waddle the both of them over to the couch and collapse on it. Jisung bursts into a fit of laughter at the movement, situating their bodies so Minho is lying on his back and Jisung on top of him.

"Did you mean it, by the way?" Minho asks, looking up at Jisung thoughtfully.

"What?" Jisung asks.

"The thing about a date? For the sake of science and my sanity, can we call this a date? If not, let me know, and I'll find some other way to take you on a first date," Minho says, looking up at Jisung fondly.

"This can be our first date. It's not the most traditional, but I like it just fine. Usually I only get a drink or two out of a date, but we've got a whole bottle, so I'm intrigued," Jisung responds, relaxing into Minho's hold.

"Well, I feel like I know you but I don't really know you, you know? So I thought we could play truth or drink. Get to know each other rapidfire. I'm curious about you," Minho says, pressing a kiss to the top of Jisung's forehead. "Who is Han Jisung? And why do I like him so damn much?"

"Oh my god, how do you say things like that? How are you even single?" Jisung whines, burying his face in Minho's chest.

"You'll have to wait until the game to find out," Minho says slyly.

"Well I want to know now, so let's start now," Jisung says.

"You want to start drinking tequila at five in the afternoon?"

"Five is evening, I'm grabbing the bottle. Wait here," Jisung says, scrambling off of Minho and opening the tequila. He realizes quickly that he has no idea where any glassware is stored in Minho's kitchen and has to call for backup. Minho responds by starting up a game of 'Hot and Cold,' making Jisung dig through three separate cabinets before he finds cups for the orange juice and shot glasses for the tequila.

They set up at the coffee table, moving to the floor so they can sit across from each other and pet the cats while they play.

"Alright, I'm starting. Why are you still single? Either answer or take a shot," Jisung starts off. Minho grabs for the bottle, filling up both shot glasses.

"I'll answer, but let's start with a shot. I think I might need some liquid bravery," Minho says. They clink their glasses together in a cheers. "To weird first dates!"

"To weird first dates!" Jisung repeats, slamming the shot and chasing it down with a sip of orange juice.

"So, why am I single? Mostly because of work. My schedule is a little weird because I dance professionally, so sometimes I go off on tours, but I think that's winding down," Minho explains. "And I'm pretty picky. I don't like to mess around with people I don't have initial interest in."

"So do you find me interesting?" Jisung asks.

"Hey, it's my turn now. Why did you decide to buy me that drink?" Minho asks, looking genuinely interested.

"Because you're hot," Jisung says honestly. Minho gives him a judgemental look, and he put his hands up defensively. "Because you're hot, and because a bunch of people tried to approach you and start something up, but you still only focused on your friend. I wanted to see if I could earn your attention."

"Mhmm. It was the blonde hair," Minho says. He strokes his chin in thought before asking the next question. "Are you close with your parents?"

"Not anymore," Jisung answers dryly, reaching for the bottle of tequila on the table.

"You answered the question, you don't need to take another shot," Minho says, crawling towards Jisung with a concerned look on his face. He slides his glasses over so they can sit side by side.

"I know, but My parents came up, so I need one," Jisung says, tossing the tequila back like water.

"Is it... because of this kind of thing?" Minho asks quietly. Jisung looks at him, doing his best not to give too much away. "You know," Minho says, leaning in to give him a sweet kiss, "that kind of thing?"

"Yeah. It's because of that kind of thing," Jisung responds quietly, chewing on his lip for a few seconds before picking his posture back up and regaining his enthusiasm. "Ok! What's your favorite show?"

They keep to somewhat lighthearted questions for a while, and Jisung learns some valuable information about Minho. There exist photos of him in a leotard. He doesn't want to get any more cats right now for fear he can't provide them with enough individual love. He wants to open his own studio and teach dance in the future. He's an only child, so his parents love him unconditionally. He wants a serious relationship in the near future.

In return, Jisung offers up his own information. The best costume he ever wore for halloween was a 'sexy squirrel' a la Mean Girls; brown crop top, booty shorts, clip on ears and tail. He doesn't have any pets, but he has a roommate named Hyunjin who needs constant love and attention. He has an older brother who loves him dearly in spite of his parents prejudices. He's not sure if he can handle anything serious in the near future, but he's becoming more open to the idea by the minute.

There are some questions swapped out for shots; Jisung isn't privy to the kind of porn Minho prefers, or what song he likes to belt out most when he's driving alone. Minho doesn't get to learn what age Jisung lost his virginity, or the weirdest thing he does while sleeping. After a while they're jolly and drunk, sneaking comforting kisses to each other when one answers an embarrassing question well.

"So why were you so set on this being a one night stand?" Minho asks, altering the tone of the game. Jisung reaches for the bottle, fully intending to take the shot and move on until he sees Minho's face fall a bit. He puts his hand down and faces Minho, kissing him on each cheek.

"It's not because of you. I just... It hasn't been that long since I broke up with my ex, and we were pretty serious. It kind of flipped my world upside down, and I'm not sure if it's fully right again. I don't know if I'm the best version of myself, and when it comes to someone I see a future with, that's what I want to be able to show them," Jisung says, leaning back on an arm and running a hand through his hair. It really is crispy. He'd dyed it shortly after his breakup in a drunken spur-of-the-moment decision, which is why the bleach job had gone so wrong.

"I think you're doing better than you think you are," Minho responds, placing an arm around Jisung's shoulder and kissing the top of his head.

"I'm ok, but you're amazing. I knew fifteen minutes in that I didn't deserve you, and you still took me home. That's why I kept feeling like I should leave," Jisung says, leaning his head onto Minho. "Ok, my turn. Why did you ask me to stay?"

"That's easy," Minho says, and Jisung looks up into his eyes. "I asked you to stay because I knew that if you walked out my door, I wouldn't be able to stop thinking about you. Despite only knowing you for roughly... twenty-three hours," Minho says after looking at his watch, "I like you. A lot. And I like having you here, a lot. And I figured, if the choice was asking you to stay or risk never seeing you again, I wanted you to stay." Jisung feels his chest swell at that answer.

"We need to take a shot," Jisung says, pouring two glasses out and clinking his against Minho's before both swallowing them down.

"Was that too much?" Minho asks, looking a bit concerned. Jisung climbs into his lap, straddling Minho so he can look straight at him. Minho pushes them back so he can lean against the base of the couch, hands on Jisung's hips.

"No, it wasn't too much. You really have a way with words, you know that? You're making me all soft and emotional," Jisung says quietly. Minho pulls him closer, shifting his hand to the back of Jisung's neck so he can maneuver his way into a kiss. Jisung responds immediately, deeply, trying to answer questions through touch that he can't find the words for and reassure Minho of where he stands. "Ok," he says when they pull away, "your turn for a question."

"Why did you and your ex break up?" Minho asks. Jisung panics for a moment, unsure how to answer, almost reaching for the tequila as a clutch. But Minho had been open for him, and he was going to do the same.

"A lot of reasons. He cheated on me, for one. A few times. That really flushed my confidence down the drain for a while. My parents hated him, they said he corrupted me even though I was gay long before I met him. He stopped loving me at some point, said I talked too much and didn't clean enough and wasn't someone to build a future with. Not marriage material. There was just a lot," Jisung says, tilting his head back in an attempt to not get too emotional. He feels Minho's grip on his waist tighten, and sucks in a deep breath. "I'm over him, I really am. He was terrible for me, and I don't miss him at all. I guess I just want to make sure that the next person I'm serious about, I'm ready for. Leave no room for complaints, you know?"

Minho nods, wrapping his arms even tighter still around Jisung and burying his face in the other man's torso. Jisung waits a few seconds, but Minho doesn't move, so he squeezes tight in turn, wrapping his arms around Minho's shoulders and putting his face in Minho's neck.

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," Minho says finally, voice muffled by Jisung's shirt. He picks his head up and lays his cheek against Jisung's chest so he can speak more clearly. "He sounds like a moron. Not marriage material? Bullshit. I'll marry you right now." Jisung bursts out laughing at that.

"Shut up, you're drunk. We're not getting married, Minho." Jisung says, swiping a happy tear from his eye.

"You don't want to marry me?" Minho pouts, and Jisung can't help but kiss it away.

"Ask me again in a few years, ok? Or at least wait until the third date." Minho nods eagerly, smiling like an idiot. "Oh my god, you're such a lightweight," Jisung laughs, looking at how red Minho is. He's definitely drunk and overly honest, and Jisung feels a little selfish, so he looks for an answer to the thing that's been gnawing at him. "Why do you like me so much, anyway?"

"My cats like you, and I trust them," Minho says, voice a bit wobbly. That... is not what Jisung expected. "But also, you're so handsome. And you're interesting, like, what kind of person steals their one night stands clothes and walks around with their pet? And you're so cute. Plus you're funny. You make me laugh. And you're a good kisser. Oh my god, I wish you could kiss yourself, you're such a good kisser. I don't think I could ever get tired of kissing you." Minho is beaming, and Jisung is completely blinded.

"Well I can't kiss myself, so I'll have to kiss you," Jisung says, leaning in to connect their lips. For as many shots as they've both had, Minho tastes far more like orange juice than tequila, sweet and a little tangy. It's refreshing and energizing and Jisung is pretty sure if Minho really wanted to kiss him forever he'd stay and kiss him right back.

"I mean it though," Minho says when he pulls back, eyes a little more sober. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that idiot. I'm sorry you got hurt. And about your family. I get why you're being cautious."

"Thank you," Jisung responds softly, running a thumb over Minho's high cheekbone and wondering how he got so lucky to find someone this good in a random bar. "You know, I don't feel all that scared right now. Maybe it's time to try again. With someone better."

"Well, this might be obvious, but I'm yours if you'll have me," Minho says, smiling softly up at the man in his lap.

"Hmm... I'm not sure, it's only eight p.m. and you're already wasted. That seems like a red flag," Jisung says, giggling down at him.

"Hey, not to play the blame game, but that's entirely your fault for making us start at five p.m." Minho pouts.

"Ok, well I can overlook it just this once then," Jisung says in a teasing tone. "Because you're a good cat dad. And you're really, really, insanely attractive. And you make really good pancakes, and you gave me your extra berries. And because I like talking to you, a lot. And because you've been so incredibly kind to me in the last day that I'd be crazy not to want you."

Minho looks happy, like, just won the lottery, eating your favorite food, seeing a double rainbow kind of happy, and Jisung feels it too. He climbs off Minho's lap, instead sitting next to him and interlocking their hands, laying his head on Minho's shoulder.

"Good," Minho says, "Then it's settled."

"What's settled?" Jisung asks.

"I don't know, actually," he says, giggling a little bit. "It's settled that we'll give this a chance. Whatever this is. It doesn't really matter what we call it right now I guess? Just two people taking a chance on each other who know they want to meet again."

"I like that," Jisung says, appreciating the mild attempt to take things slowly despite their entire situation. "Hey, Minho?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm hungry," Jisung says, standing up and pulling Minho with him. "What do you have?"

"Well that was sudden," Minho laughs. "I have some stuff but I don't think either of us should be cooking anything extravagant right now. How do you feel about ramen?"

"I feel good about ramen."

The two abandon their drinking game, filling their glasses mostly with orange juice and a small amount of tequila to keep the fun going while they start boiling water for their meal. Their goal had been to keep things simple, but Jisung insists he help around the kitchen, and Minho can't say no. He also persuades Minho that adding some egg is the least they can do to make the ramen more exciting, taking charge of that project while Minho adds in extra seasoning. Within minutes they have a delicious meal, and they settle onto the couch as Jisung finds a movie to put on for background noise. They spend most of the two hours talking over the movie, taking every moment they can to learn. Jisung can't remember the last time he felt so relaxed, warm from the buzz of alcohol in his system and the feel of his body pressed against Minho's. He feels himself starting to nod off, but Minho taps him awake and presses a kiss to his forehead.

"Let's get ready for bed, ok?" Minho says, and Jisung nods sleepily. Minho ushers him into the bathroom first, giving Jisung the extra space to brush his teeth and wash his face. By the end of his routine he's a little more awake, and before leaving he glances at the drawer he'd grabbed the condom from this morning, opening it and grabbing the remaining ones. This night isn't slipping away from him.

He slips into Minho's room and tells him to go do his own routine, getting into a cross legged position on the bed.

"I'm back!" Minho announces, stepping back into his bedroom and smiling at the sight of Jisung on his bed. "Do you want fresh pajamas? You wore those out earlier."

"Not necessary," Jisung says, pulling Minho onto the bed and pushing him up against the headboard so he can climb onto his lap. He leans down and gives Minho his most passionate kiss, which is eagerly returned.

"I thought you were tired," Minho says, laughing a bit before pulling Jisung back in.

"I'm reinvigorated," Jisung whispers between kisses. "Now, help me get these clothes off," he says, leaning back in to lick into Minho's mouth as he feels a hand start removing his shirt button by button. When it's done he lets it slide off his shoulders, pulling away to peel Minho's shirt over his head. They reconnect immediately after, tongues battling for dominance and hips moving against each other. Jisung lets himself get carried away, grinding into Minho's lap at a steady rhythm as they aim to move their bodies closer. He feels Minho's hands roam down his back, down to his ass, grabbing at it and combining their movements into one. He slides them down the backside of Jisung's sweatpants, pulling the waistband down as much as he can until it gets caught at the front.

"Sit up for a minute," Minho pants, and Jisung obeys eagerly. Minho pulls the pants over Jisung's arousal, removing his own while he has the freedom, admiring how their bodies look pressed together. "Ah... I have lube in here, but I need to grab condoms."

"No, I have them," Jisung says, grabbing one from under the pillow where he'd placed it earlier. Minho reaches into his nightstand for a bottle of lube, non-flavored this time, and places it close.

"Are you still sore?" Minho asks, spreading Jisung's cheeks apart with both hands and squeezing.

"Never felt better."

"Good," Minho responds, uncapping the bottle and spreading it on his fingers. Jisung leans back in, pushing himself farther up on Minho's lap as he reignites the kiss. He allows himself to be worked open slowly, encouraging Minho to explore with his fingers until he absolutely needs more. When he sinks onto Minho, he relishes in the feeling, this time knowing it won't be the last time he experiences such bliss. When one position brings them over the edge, they switch to the next, riding out their pleasure until the brink of exhaustion. Where the night before had been rough and full of desire, tonight they took their time, expressing fondness through small touches and words of affirmation. Jisung does his best to show his thankfulness to Minho; thankfulness for the bliss he brings him, for the foresight to buy more condoms, for the courage he had to ask him to stay.

They end the night wrapped in each other's arms, too tired to do anything but lazily kiss as they drift into sleep, and Jisung wakes up the same way the next morning, pressing a sweet kiss to Minho's lips to wake him.

"Good morning," he says quietly as Minho blinks his eyes to sleep.

"You're still here," Minho whispers, tightening his hold on Jisung.

"I told you I'd stay, didn't I?" Jisung says. He hates the surprise in Minho's voice; it makes him realize how unstable his behavior yesterday must have portrayed him as. "I told you we'd give this a shot. I guarantee from now on, if I'm with you, I'm with you one hundred percent, ok? No more flakiness."

"Thank you," Minho says. He seems more awake now, yawning and looking at the mess surrounding them. "Ok. What are you doing today? Any specific plans?"

"No, nothing on a schedule. I should get home somewhat soon though, my roommate has a penchant for the dramatic. I told him I was staying out for another night but I don't want him to worry."

"I get it. How about this. You help me strip this bed, we throw my sheets and your clothes into the laundry and take a shower and eat while we wait?" Minho proposes.

"Sounds like a plan. How's your head, by the way?" Jisung asks.

"It hurts like crazy, but I'm trying to ignore it. Just keep whispering," Minho says. Jisung laughs, then catches himself and puts a hand over his mouth.

"Ok, first step is painkillers. Then we carry out the rest of your plan," Jisung resolves. Minho nods, and they get to action, stripping the sheets and shaking them for any lingering trash, then tossing them and Jisung's clothes into the laundry. When they step into the shower this morning they clean each other once again, enjoying the intimacy it brings. Jisung drops to his knees on the shower floor once again under the premise of distracting Minho from his headache, licking and sucking the pain away until Minho is lost in pleasure. He knows this pattern isn't sustainable, but he's only here for another two hours and he wants to make the most of it for Minho.

Minho insists on eggs and toast for breakfast, something to soak up whatever alcohol is left in their system and give them energy. When the coffee runs dry and their food is gone, Minho switches the laundry into the dryer.

"Minho," Jisung says, giving his best pout over to the other man.

"Yes, Jisung?" He responds, clearly expecting some kind of request.

"My muscles hurt. How would you feel about cracking open that giant jar of muscle balm and helping me recover?" Jisung says in his cutest voice. "You know, from all the mindblowing sex?"

"Jesus, Jisung, you could have just asked like a normal person," Minho says, ears turning bright red. "I'm happy to do you if you do me."

"Deal!" Jisung says, pulling off his shirt (he'd decided to forgo the pants this morning) and laying nude on the couch, ass in the air. Minho retrieves the balm, sitting on Jisung's back and working out the kinks in his muscles. When he's done they switch places, Minho opting to keep his shorts on, and Jisung returns the favor. He spends extra time on Minho's calves, enjoying the bulky muscles years of dancing has built up on his legs. When he's done he slips his shirt back on and rolls off the couch, laying on the living room floor and making noises at the cats to try to get them to come to him.

"Let me show you how their dad does it," Minho says, laying on the floor next to him. He lets out a series of weird noises and calls the cat's names, which brings over Doongie and Dori. Soonie gets curious as well, walking in their direction, but when Jisung calls her name she patters over to him, climbing on his stomach and laying in a little ball.

"Ha! She likes me better!" Jisung says, rolling his head to the side to face Minho and sticking out his tongue. He reaches for Jisung's hand, linking their fingers so they lay side by side, hand in hand.

"I don't blame her. We have that in common," Minho says, sending Jisung a cheesy grin.

"It's gonna be weird going home, it feels like I've been here so long," he says quietly. Minho squeezes his hand in comfort.

"We're only fifteen minutes away, and I'm only ten from your school. We'll see each other soon. I'm off Wednesday, wanna grab coffee after work?" Minho asks.

"It's a date," Jisung says with a smile. "But just in case I miss you in the meantime, I'm bringing this cat with me, ok?" Jisung reaches to pat Soonie on the head, getting a quiet meow in response.

"Uh, no. Not my firstborn. You can have Doongie," Minho bargains.

"Doongie doesn't like me," Jisung whines. Doongie meows loudly at the mention of his name, a sign of confirmation.

"Then I guess I'll just have to keep them all, because Dori is too young to travel. You're just going to have to come back to see them," Minho says. Jisung carefully picks Soonie up off his stomach and places her on the floor, then rolls his body until he's laying on top of Minho in much the same way the cat was on him.

"That doesn't sound bad," he says, pressing a little kiss to Minho's lips. He's excited to see how they function in the real world. Yesterday it was all Jisung could do to prevent their bubble from popping, trying to keep all these perfect feelings contained in one space in fear of them dissolving once they touched fresh air. Now he can't wait. He wants to see what Minho looks like ordering coffee from a barista, how he gets along with Jisung's friends, what he wears when they go out to nice places. He can hardly wait to see how their lives intertwine, and see if they can become one someday.

The dryer dings, snapping Jisung out of his daze. They both stand and walk over to the dryer, Jisung trailing behind Minho as he carries everything into the bedroom and drops it onto the bed. Jisung digs his pants and t-shirt out of the pile and starts stripping down to change, unbuttoning the dress shirt he's been wearing for the morning.

"You're shameless, Jisung," Minho says, placing a kiss to his neck.

"I am shameless. You've already seen me, and from what I can tell you liked it. I'm not hiding anything," he says with a laugh. Minho grabs the t-shirt and pulls it over Jisung's head, for the first time in this relationship dressing him instead of the reverse. Jisung grins, pulling on his boxers and jeans and pulling Minho into a hug. "I think it's time for me to go now." Minho grabs his hand, grabbing Jisung's jacket from the chair in the corner of his room and pulling him towards the front door.

"I'll see you in a few days," he says, kissing Jisung sweetly. When they pull away, Jisung leans down to lace up his shoes and pulling his jacket on. He opens the door and steps out into the hall, turning to face Minho and give him one last kiss.

"Wednesday. It's a date."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
Too Sure to Let Go - koto - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Jisung wakes up to an unfamiliar ceiling, body sore and chest heavy. He closes his eyes to try and adjust to his situation in peace. He's a little bit alarmed by the chest part, internally cursing himself for never finding a good doctor in case he's developed some sort of giant growth overnight, and he has to work up the courage to look.

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It's like... hmmm..
You just left your heart behind, in that suffocating city.

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Saturday, 2021-05-01; 22:14.

Soft, melodic notes are the start of a song streaming through the earbuds of a young high school student named Han Jisung. It's the time of night when people begin to blend together, the workers on their way to their beds and the believers on their way to their lives that only exist in the darkness. This is the one time of day where these crowds mesh together. A lost wanderer, such as Jisung himself, soaks up every ounce of those fleeting minutes.

The universe requires balance.

It's why there is night and day, excitement and boredom, it's why there is confidence and insecurity built into each individual, it's why they're all different and yet fundamentally the same. The universe requires balance, because too much of one thing tips the scale and the outcome is unpredictable.

There is balance in the universe, split middle. It's why there is an adventure and two boys who never stop seeking it. It's why there is Lee Minho; popular, adored by the spotlight of watchful eyes, calculated. It's why there is Han Jisung; unknown, swallowed by the shadows while he watches, impulsive.

The universe requires balance, which is why it allows Jisung a moment of staring at the most beautiful sight he's ever seen in return for the sight to notice him after that moment. He's grateful nonetheless, the sight only gets more beautiful when the eyes look directly into his own.

A train flies by, almost too close for comfort. The wind it stirs blows across Jisung's face, pinning his bangs to his forehead and he catches glimpses of the sight through the breaks between train cars. When the train passes, the sight has only become even more beautiful, a lazy smile plastered on the face.

The earbud slides out of Jisung's ear, gravel crunching beneath his tennis shoes and wedging itself into the cracks as he crosses the railroad track, welcoming the cold press of guardrails into his palms. A familiar sting travels up his arms as he pulls his weight upwards and over the bars, backpack shifting with every move. The sight stares him down through the move, a smirk taking the smile's place.

The sight is none other than the aforementioned Lee Minho, the heartthrob of their shared college campus. All of what Jisung knows of Lee Minho is theoretical, rumors and whispered praises he has picked up from his other classmates. But despite sharing a face and a name, he still isn't exactly sure the boy in front of him is Lee Minho.

Lee Minho is a confident flirt, a flawless performer who is naturally gifted at what he does, who doesn't care about the opinions of anyone around him. The boy in front of him is charismatic, but his insecurities run deep, he second guesses himself constantly and his abilities are anything but "God-given." He cares so much about the opinion of others that he pours his life into perfection, into making his skill so incredible that it appears entirely natural. It's anything but.

It isn't any different for Minho, who stares at Han Jisung as if he doesn't recognize him. Han Jisung, a boisterous sunshine of a person who has more hobbies than he can count on his hands. Han Jisung, a quiet and intelligent young adult who forces himself to be good at many things because he's so terrified of becoming absolutely nothing.

They are so different and yet fundamentally the same. They share the same fear, in different respects.

Minho fears that when he dies, he will be mourned by people who didn't know him, mourned for the things he did rather than who he was. Jisung fears that when he dies, everything he has done will die with him and it will take but a few years to pass before he is completely forgotten. Their only peace of mind comes in the form of each other, a random and unlikely pairing. Jisung will have known Minho, Minho will remember Jisung.

His feet dangle where they don't touch the ground, just a few inches too short. Music still plays through one earbud, but it quickly becomes background noise when Minho opens his mouth.

"That train nearly killed you." The sentence doesn't come out as concerned, far from it. He speaks slowly, like an exasperated parent talking to their toddler. Jisung grins as his feet swing, gaining enough momentum to catapult himself onto the pavement. Minho makes no move to stand from the bench.

The train station has become one of Jisung's favorite spots over the last few months, a symbol of the only time he's able to be himself, a symbol of the only person he allows to see it happen.

"Careful, Lee Know. I might start to get the idea that you actually care about me." Jisung's body flops onto the bench beside Minho. The latter rolls his eyes at Jisung's comment and the stupid nickname he gave him during one of their adventures.

"I was just concerned about our deal. Thought we agreed to die at the same time because funerals are awkward." The single dangling earbud is swiped off of Jisung's chest, immediately fitting into Minho's ear. He takes a few moments to appreciate the song, pressing closer entirely for the sake of the earbud length. There isn't any other reason he'd be pressing closer, right?

"I wouldn't force you to attend my funeral like that. Imagine having to meet my mother for the first time because I died. Double embarrassing." Their shoulders brush with every slight move either one of them makes and Jisung has to remind himself to keep speaking or else his mind will run wild.

"Do you think if we died together, they would bury us at the same time?" Minho's question forces a laugh out of Jisung.

"I sure hope so. I'm too socially awkward to be a ghost alone."

Distantly, they can hear the sounds of cars and faded yelling from two streets over, where the crowds are blending far away from where they sit. The sounds go nicely with the slow music that fills their ears. This train station is almost never frequented after rush hour, a rather unpopular location in the city for many people. It's one of the reasons why Jisung adores it so much. A place to meet where prying eyes don't threaten their every breath.

"Did you bring it?" He asks, fixing the poorly sewed buttons on his jean jacket. Minho doesn't turn to look at him, nor does he offer a verbal response, but he holds up an item in between two fingers. Before Jisung can utter another word, Minho is on his feet, the earbud falling from his ear and his hand stretched out in front of Jisung. He breaks into a smile that stretches the length of his face, a sight so beautiful that Jisung nearly forgets he has to breathe.

"Come on." Minho tugs on Jisung's sleeve, his arm suspended in the air and frozen, "The rest of the staff should be gone by now."

Wordlessly, Jisung follows him down the sidewalk, a path they've both walked a thousand times. There is a quicker way to get there of course, but they both prefer the long way around. The back alleys and tall fences have been sketched into Jisung's muscles, body moving on its own accord around the corners and up the wire.

It's a path that takes close to twenty extra minutes as opposed to the more straightforward route, but he enjoys every second he gets to spend without his mask on. With one foot caught in a hole in a wire fence, the other held steady in Minho's palm and his arms burning from the sudden amount of weight he has to pull, Jisung has never been able to breathe easier than he can now.

Their destination comes into view as they trek up a hill through a small patch of woods, ducking behind trees and bushes when the flashlight beams pass over their faces. Their quiet giggles are lost to the night, knees knocking together every time they shuffle around the browned leaves that count the ground as they hide behind a rose plant. They listen for the footsteps to become distant, a sign of the security guards walking away.

The hotel is lavish and expensive and though Jisung has never once stayed there in his life, he knows the entire layout of the place like the veins in his hand. The guests are luxurious and poised, the hotel itself an exact replica of those who pay to stay there. Minho's employee card slips out of his back pocket and slides into the identification reader on the door. It beeps quietly and lights up green.

The room smells strongly of cigar smoke and perfume, a smell oddly comforting and almost nostalgic. It's almost comical how comfortable Jisung feels in a place he has no business being, his faded jean jacket and ripped jeans blending in nicely with plush velvet and satin. Minho at least looks the part, a white-button up and black slacks hugging his body tightly.

Expertly, they crawl their way under the views of the staff and into the deserted kitchen.

"Is it just me or did he almost see us tonight?" Jisung chuckles, grabbing a fry from the batch of food left unattended on the table. The chefs tend to leave all of the returned orders just lying around until morning, and Jisung has absolutely no complaints. He hops up on the counter, fry basket beside him.

"I think most of the security is aware that someone is breaking in at night, but since nothing has come up missing other than food and juices they can't really do anything about it." Minho shrugs, a bottle of sparkling grape juice that he stole from the refrigerator in his hand.

"Can they check the log for the scanner outside?"

"They can. It's a lot of work though and like I said, it's not that important since we don't steal anything." Minho places himself between Jisung's knees as if he belongs there, hands gripping the counter on either side of Jisung's thighs. He tries not to let his mind wonder what that could mean, why he's so comfortable in such an intimate position with someone who ignores his existence four days out of the week.

"So, we're really just mild inconveniences if nothing else?" He leans back on his hands, attempting to put a little space in between the two of them for his own sanity. This isn't the first time, nor will it be the last, that Minho has acted in such a way. He doesn't read into it usually, because nobody else knows and they never will, so it doesn't really matter what's going on. If anything is.

"Don't sound so disappointed." Minho chuckles, his presence fading from Jisung's space as he moves about the kitchen, collecting a fresh order of chicken wings. His palms press into the table and he joins Jisung on the metal counter with the fries and wings separating their thighs. Jisung doesn't think about how their fingers brush every so often or how every time it happens, a jolt runs through his body.

A few beats of comfortable silence passes, though it isn't really silence at all. The dishwasher offers some faded noise, as does the oven every time it beeps. It's mainly wordless silence, but it's comfortable nonetheless. Minho breaks it with a question.

"How is the internship going?" His words break through his full mouth, stuffed with a chicken wing and fries to the point of overflow. Jisung laughs at the sight of sauce on the corner of his mouth and ignores the temptation to swipe it off with his thumb.

"It's interesting. For now, I'm just observing." The internship is something he's wanted for a long time now, an opportunity to work alongside his favorite animators and artists. The studio makes him feel at home, the kind of feeling that he only knows from weekends and the lack of it during the weekdays.

"When the next famous cartoon character is a handsome prince named Minho, I'll know who to thank."

"If I was going to draw a character based on you, it would be a grumpy cat with an enormous head to symbolize your ego." The comment earns him a hard slap on the shoulder, but the laughter that follows makes it worth the sting.

"As long as he has a squirrel companion." Minho smiles brightly. Companion. It's a word Minho often uses on the occasion that he does refer to them. Not friends, not acquaintances, not partners. Companions. Jisung still isn't sure what that means to him.

Before he can talk himself out of asking, the telltale sound of footsteps sounds from down the hall. Belatedly, the both of them realize what they failed to notice before. The beeping of the oven meant something was in it and someone was coming to check on it.

Scrambling, Minho tugs Jisung to the back of the kitchen, ducking into the space where the old dishwasher used to sit. Jisung's forehead collides with the edge of the counter and Minho's hand barely manages to suppress his curse just in time. The chef of the kitchen walks in, tugging an oven mitt on his hand and turning toward the stove. His eyes instantly land on the half-eaten food.

He begins to turn and Minho once again pulls Jisung along as he sneaks them to another hiding spot just out of sight. The door is just in sight and with the chef preoccupied by his creation in the oven, the two of them make a run for it. Their frames are swallowed up by the shadows in the hotel, nightfall offering them their only protection from prying eyes.

Jisung knows where he's being led before he even spots it, anticipation coursing through his veins when he sees the pool. Because it's a fancy hotel, the pool is outdoors and yet enclosed. Accessing it requires going through the hotel, no gates or fences to hop.

The lounge chairs are mostly folded up and pushed against the back walls, the lights in the jacuzzi are turned off and the umbrellas folded down at the tables. Streetlights from overheard cast a dull yellow over the water and the moon's bright reflection off of it. So caught up in admiring it, Jisung hardly notices before Minho dives in.

The force of the splash knocks the wave up to the edge, soaking through Jisung's shoes and his mismatched socks. Minho is breaking through the surface of the water within seconds, his hair flopping back on his forehead and white button-up floating around his torso. Smirk wide and eyes shining, he looks like a drawing Jisung created rather than a person he knows.

"It's like negative six degrees out." Jisung whisper-shouts, his eyebrow raised as he watches Minho kick his legs up and float on his back. "You're gonna get hypothermia."

"Well, you aren't going to let me die alone, are you?" He giggles, "Come on."

"No way. I don't want to go home in soaking wet clothes." His nose wrinkles, already cringing at the thought of his clothes clinging to his body the entire way home. However, he underestimates Minho's influence on him, because as soon as those shimmering eyes fall on him, he's suddenly willing to suffer the uncomfortable sticking.

"Come on! Come be the Rose to my Jack!"

"Jack died like eighty years before Rose."

"Maybe if she would have shared the fucking door."

"I think she tried and it was just difficult."

"They had all night before he died! They would have figured it out eventually." Minho kicks another wave up to Jisung's ankles, "Are you really going to let your Jack die out here all alone?"

Really, he doesn't stand a chance.

His shoes and jean jacket are tossed away, leaving him in just a white t-shirt and his black jeans. Standing at the edge of the pool he watches the water flicker by with images of the moon and the lights shining in the waves. He must take a beat too long, because before he knows it, his face is meeting the waves and Minho's laughter is a bit too loud.

The sound is swallowed by the water rushing into his ears, the air stolen from his lungs as he sinks deep into the blue. For a moment, a singular moment that manages to defeat time, it is peaceful. There are no thoughts of impending doom, no concern for how little time he has left with Minho, just the serenity of a floating mind and body.

And just as easily as his body is made to feel weightless, the full force of the weight comes crashing down the moment he breaks surface, accented by Minho's quiet giggling and soft splashing of the water around him. The weight is the same, but it feels more manageable. It always feels more manageable when he's there.

Jisung has seen Minho before, he knew him before he met him. Someone like Minho is hard not to see, someone born to draw every eye, to claim every heart with nothing more than a word. He's seen Minho, he's seen him for years. The stoic and calm, the collected Minho around campus is the one everyone has fallen for.

The Minho before him smiles like nothing could ever bring him down, his eyes glint with a constant mirth that never seems to disappear. His laughter is a symphony of joy and healing. The Minho before him is someone only he has ever met, someone only he knows. He has fallen for this Minho.

"What were you listening to earlier?" The question nearly makes Jisung jump. His surprise goes unnoticed by his companion , who has begun floating in the water on his back, eyes closed and face a perfect portrait of tranquility.

"Just a playlist I made on the way over here." Filled with songs that remind him of the very boy whom he gazes at in this very moment, songs that he will listen to long after he no longer knows him. Songs he will learn to love but grow to hate as his present becomes a memory, soured by the cruelty of time and the regret of words that went unsaid.

Just a playlist that will serve as the ghost of a love song that wasn't written and a word that had no meaning to them.

"I like it. It reminds me of shitty, overhyped indie movies."

The pool lights dance on the side of his face, casting the shadow of water on his cheek. In all honesty, Jisung hasn't spent long looking at him at all, his brain simply knows what to look for. If he were to tell someone about the way Minho's eyebrows crease when he's thinking, or the way his left eyebrow arches more than the right, they would think he had spent hours memorizing Minho's face. But noticing these details came naturally to him, because Minho is beautiful externally, but what makes him so addicting is hidden in his details.

"You're still terrible at complimenting."

"Really? I thought that one would earn me points for sure."

Jisung wants to say something, wants to say so many things that he isn't sure where to begin, but his hesitation forces the silence to last longer, and the moment fades. The questions he wants to ask toe the carefully drawn line of what's acceptable in their companionship, but the closer they get to dawn, the more tempted he is to risk it. He's about to ruin it, but he's sent a sign that stops the words.

The sign is a flashlight signing through the glass door that leads to the pool and the beam lands right on their figures. Reflexively, Minho reaches out and tugs Jisung underwater, plunging himself into it as well. He's floating again, silence and pressure that's all too relieving returned. For the first moment, he's looking at Minho, suspended underneath the deep blue and looking as free as Jisung feels. Then, the hand on his wrist is pulling him along to the other end of the pool.

This time, when the world confronts him once again, the weight is hardly noticeable. It doesn't leave, for he could never rid himself of it so easily, but it doesn't hurt like it used to.

The flashlight beam passes and Minho pulls himself out of the pool by the cement pressing marks into his palms. His red palm burned with lines from the dents in concrete is offered to Jisung, who chases the feeling of their hands held tight together. Their soaked bodies launch out of the pool, splashing definitely too loud. Bare feet hit concrete as they gather their clothes, barely able to throw on a single garment before the beam is back and right on them once again.

Laughter stains the air alongside the shouts of a security guard, drowned out by the pounding of Jisung's heartbeat in his ears. Cement gives way to lavish carpet, the freedom of nighttime humidity once again becoming an oppressive odor of cigars. They are so lucky that this is a route Minho often takes.

They're outside within seconds, guard hot on their heels and his orders more demanding. For the split second, Jisung truly believes they are screwed, that they have nowhere to run to and no way out. But Minho has prepared for this, as he always does, and there's a car out front with the keys in the ignition. It belongs to Minho.

With no time for formalities, Jisung hops over the door and into the passenger seat of the convertible. Only moments after he lands, the car is starting and roaring beneath him, throwing them into the deep void that pours over the streets like a thick layer of ink. They soar through it, wind biting their cheeks and laughter ringing clear as a bell in the soundless peace. Adrenaline in his veins and joy in his heart, this is the happiest he will be for a long while. He knows as much.

Time becomes nothing but a gust of wind passing them by and coloring their cheeks a deep pink. Fabrics stick to their bodies in a way most would find uncomfortable, but to the two of them, it is everything that defines them. Between the space where Minho's hand delicately holds his own, there is nothing but time.

Passing over a bridge gives them a full view of the city they know, the city that claims every element of who they are. To the outside viewer, the city appears a portrait of perfect beauty, where the routine lives of residents are marveled at by those who have never lived in such a way. Their lives are glorified by those who have never seen more than what is offered at a glance.

But the people like Minho, the people like Jisung, know what the city really is. They understand how vile and cruel it is, how vanity and greed paints the pearly white streets in a sickening shade of green. The city that looks so alluring to those who have yet to fall victim to it, so draining at its core. Jisung, like everyone else, has given up everything to be one with the city. He's given up his money, his time, his integrity. He's given up everything that made him stand out for the ability to camouflage.

But the city itself is not at fault. It's the people within it who poison it. The people within it who created the rules that twisted two individuals into models.

Han Jisung, a boisterous sunshine of a person who has more hobbies than he can count on his hands. Han Jisung, who has become what they assumed he was rather than showing them who he is.

Lee Minho, a confident flirt, a flawless performer who is naturally gifted at what he does, who doesn't care about the opinions of anyone around him. Lee Minho, who fits the stereotype because it's what is easiest.

Perhaps their time together is so valued, because there is not another soul in the city who dares to step out of their box for even a moment. But together, even if only for a few hours, the boxes do not exist.

But change is on the horizon and dawn approaches quicker than the night falls. Their time always runs out, and this time, there's a bigger clock ticking than the one on the dashboard.

Minho is leaving. He's leaving the city and his box behind, he's leaving who they think he is for who he was supposed to be. And when he leaves, he won't take Jisung with him, only the memory of a boy too afraid to take the step he finally did.

Minho is leaving. Tomorrow.

Halfway across the bridge, the car pulls over and to a dead stop. There is not a soul present other than those that belong to them and there are no questions when he follows Minho to the banister overlooking the water.

"I wonder what drowning feels like." Minho says simply.

"I've heard it hurts, but only for a second. Once you let the water in, the pain subsides."

Minho hums.

"Once you accept the truth, pain can't touch you."

Jisung says nothing. Soft melodies begin to stream from Minho's pocket, the traces of the playlist he created slipping through the denim of his jeans. There's a promise in the words that goes unspoken, a promise he won't make because he isn't sure either of them can keep it.

Once he accepts the truth, the pain won't touch him. It may not be true, but it's a risk he has to take.

"Will I ever see you again?"

Wind breaks against Minho's darkened silhouette, those eyes that only the stars can rival glinting with a mirth that will linger long after the man in front of him is gone. He is everything, he is anything that Jisung wants him to be, needs him to be.

"I would like to say yes." It sounds like an answer, one of the more committal ones he's gotten, but Jisung knows Minho well enough by now to know that it's not. What he would like to say is nothing more than a want. It isn't an answer, it isn't a commitment of any sort.

Minho can say a whole lot, and manage to say nothing at all.

"Does that mean the next time will be at my funeral?" He's only half-joking.

"I'd return sooner than that." Minho sends him a smile, "Maybe a few days before you pass."

He might mean it.

He just might mean it.

"Then, I'll look forward to death."

"Don't." Another smile, another glimmer to haunt Jisung's pathetic dreams like the ghost of a lover he never knew. "You don't need death to see me again."

He's contradicting. But, not quite.

"Then where shall I look?"

Minho grins.

"Look to the stars, and beyond."

It means nothing. He means whatever Jisung needs it to mean. And right now, he needs it to mean everything. And so, it does.

Minho has always been what he needs, only him. And it doesn't make much sense how someone could be the difference between a life of misery and a life of hope, but he is exactly that. Long after Minho has disappeared from his memory, his presence will stay.

Even after the image fades, his words and the hope he leaves behind will linger. And when Jisung wants to feel it again, as a reminder of what he once had, a reminder of what it means to dream, he will once again look to the stars, and beyond.

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to the stars, and beyond - hanjisungsslut - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Saturday, 2021-05-01; 22:14. Soft, melodic notes are the start of a song streaming through the earbuds of a young high school student named Han Jisung. It's the time of night when people begin to blend together, the workers on their way to their beds and the believers on their way to their lives that only exist in the darkness.

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Omg how can I describe this one? Reality hits hard

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Summary

Jisung could clearly remember the day he first saw Minho. Ultimately, it was the day that his whole world changed, but it wasn't as obvious at the time as you'd think. When people describe something in their life drastically changing, its always like a complete flip, a collapse of the norm, some sort of earth shattering revelation. But that's not how it happened, not for Jisung; it was slow, like falling through a pit of molasses, cascading like the steady rise of volume in a symphony before it reaches its peak, and then it all hits you at once. One thing stacked onto another, stacked onto another, and onto another, until it's suddenly too much and it all finally tumbles over. That was how Minho changed Jisung's life, and yet somehow, it started with something as innocent as a glance across the bench during Sunday church.

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Losing My Religion - nyxxstay - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary Jisung could clearly remember the day he first saw Minho.

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Jisung disco ball 😚

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This work could have adult content. If you proceed you have agreed that you are willing to see such content.

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Summary

After Jisung's tragic death, Minho thinks he's never going to see Jisung again. However, during a mysterious encounter with a thought to be lost necklace, he's proven wrong.

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The Sound of Silence - SephSung - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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The taste of summer

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Chapter Text

Minho is close to a full blown panic by the end of the day, pacing his room and picking at his shirt. The blue button up gets tossed onto the mattress with all of the other shirts Minho owns, ruining all the hard work he put into unpacking.

Honestly though it's so low on the list of things Minho is worried about right now he couldn't care less.

He sits at the window, the soles of his shoes brushing over the bushes below where his leg hangs out. Minho can feel the edge of the window sill digging into the back of his head but it gives himself something to focus on besides what he should be doing.

Minho looks down at the pack in his hands, the cover nearly falling off with how many times Minho has opened and closed it since he bought it. Sometimes to use it, other times just because he needs to do something with his hands. The shape of the box is waning from being stuffed in his backpack carelessly.

Out of twenty, there are only five cigarettes left in the pack, and Minho tries to remember the last time he had one, the last time he breathed in and felt the tremors in his hands melt away as the nicotine filled up his lungs. He remembers his eyes watering as the smoke drifted past his face in a thick cloud, and the burn of his lungs when he took his last drag, trying to make it last before the warmth melted away.

He's not allowed to smoke anymore, both by his parents decision and a moral one as well. Not since those bottles came into his life. When they became a bigger secret than Minho's need to light up when he felt like this.

Panicky, sweaty, like his heart was going to beat out of his chest.

He knows where his lighter is, right in the front pocket of his backpack, but he can't do it. Not now.

Aunt Yoo wouldn't ignore it the way his parents did, and he doesn't want to show up to meet a bunch of new people and have them think he's like that. Cause he's not, or at least he hasn't been for a while.

Minho tosses the pack into his bag and throws the whole thing into his closet with the rest of his demons, letting out a shaky breath when he closes the door. He presses his hand into the wood, waiting for his fingers to stop trembling before reaching into his pocket.

Felix had scribbled an address on a napkin from the booth they sat at, as well as a crude sketch of the house on the other side.

It's the only house with a garage on this side of the island!!!!!

Seungmin's place! Just knock!!

And yes. The note really did have eight exclamation points on it.

Minho had nearly forgotten about the whole thing when he finally made it to Yoo's, until he picked up his sweater and the napkin slipped out of his pocket, reminding him of what he had agreed to.

He crumpled the paper up at first, planning on tossing it and actually forgetting about the whole thing. He probably wouldn't bump into Felix or Chan for a while if he avoided town, and he could say 'something came up' if they ever did speak again.

The only thing is that nothing ever comes up on this island.

Minho had told Yoo about the party as soon as he remembered, and watched her go through several different emotions before she seemed to settle on one and gave him a proud smile. She seemed happy that he was going out of the house. He had texted Hyunjin as soon as he walked out of the diner, and his friend seemed to be ecstatic that Minho was 'making friends' as he called it. Hyunjin had promised to video chat with him before the party started, but so far all Minho had received was radio silence and a notification for a spam email lighting up his lock screen.

Minho thinks Aunt Yoo is worried he gets lonely when he's alone all day while she's at work, but he likes the quiet.

For the most part.

"Aunt Yoo?" Minho peeks out of his room, scanning the main room for a moment. She isn't home yet.

He's all alone.

Minho breathes in until his lungs are so full they ache, and holds his breath for a moment before letting it all go.

You can do this. You've got this. Minho keeps thinking over and over as he looks at his reflection in the old television in the lounge, lips pressing together when he sees how skinny he looks. He knows on some level it's the television screen morphing his reflection as it curves in the middle, but he can't seem to just walk away.

Minho feels his teeth digging into his lower lip as he looks back to his room. He promised himself that he wouldn't fall back onto his safety blankets anymore, to the point where he even forced himself to pack up most of his hoodies in his closet at home before he could put them in his suitcase. It seems like old habits always die hard though.

The one hoodie he did manage to slip through his resolve to leave them all is huge on him, but the vague familiarity of its weight on his shoulders and the sleeves sliding down to reach just past his fingertips manages to ease some of his anxieties as he walks out the door.

All the way to the house, Minho keeps pulling his phone out of his pocket to check the time. Felix didn't say when exactly to come, just that band practice starts at six thirty. It's almost seven now so the sun is still up, but it's slowly going down, and Minho doesn't want to get caught in the dark when he just barely knows his way around during the day.

"Two to the right," Minho reminds himself under his breath.

He reaches the street easy enough, the garage in plain view off the side of the house, just like Felix said it would be in his note.

Minho is just about to reach the steps that lead up to the door when his phone buzzes in his hoodie pocket. One look at the screen and a lump builds in his throat; a blank screen with the word Mom in big letters at the top.

His mom called him a few days ago, but he hadn't bothered answering. The same lump had formed then as now, like one of his pills.

Minho's face is devoid of emotion as he swallows around the lump, watching as his thumb twitches over the power button and the buzzing is silenced, letting his moms call ring through. If she calls him again, he might answer, but he doubts it will happen.

It doesn't.

He doesn't have much time to think about it before the door swings open, revealing a young man with reddish brown hair who looks surprised to see him.

"Oh, hi there, who are you?" The man has a pleasant voice, and smiles at Minho like they're old friends, as if Minho isn't some stranger on his front steps. "Are you a friend of Seungminie's? I'm Wonpil."

"Hi." Minho waves, the movement wooden and awkward. "I uh, I was invited by Felix?"

"Oh yeah! They mentioned you. They're in the backyard moving some stuff around."

Wonpil steps back to allow Minho through the threshold, and points him down the main hall, Minho tries not to be too nosy as he glances around the home when he steps inside.

"Right down the hall there's a sliding door to the yard, just yell if you get lost." Wonpil smiles brightly at Minho, who feels his lips twitch upwards in a polite response.

Wonpil doesn't seem worried about Minho wandering around as he disappears into the next room. There's a distant crash from what Minho assumes to be the backyard, so he decides to start there.

"It's a surprise, leave it alone!" Minho hears an unfamiliar voice hiss, like they're scolding a child.

The garage opens to a parking space in the backyard where the driveway wraps around, and once Minho steps off the porch he can see into the garage, which is strangely empty of any cars. There's equipment though, an old drum set in the back, two electric guitars set up against the wall, and a keyboard to his right.

At the mouth of the garage there are three boys huddled around something. Minho recognizes one of them as Chan, but the other two are strangers to him as he descends from the porch.

He wonders if he should announce his presence somehow.

"Um-" Minho starts, but finds his voice caught in his throat when all three boys turn around and stare.Chan's eyes widening in recognition when he sees him.

"Minho, hey!" Chan smiles and stands up from where he was kneeling, standing between Minho and the other two boys. "Guys this is Minho, the guy Felix and I were telling you about. Minho, this is Seungmin and this is Woojin."

"Kim Woojin." The tallest of the three waves, and Minho bows politely. "Chan said you're here for the summer?"

"Yeah, I'm staying with my aunt."

Woojin looks like he's about to say something else when Minho hears a squeal from behind him and turns to see a flash of blonde hair before someone jumps him.

"You came! I was worried you'd get lost!" Felix squeals as he squeezes Minho's shoulders. "Chan said not to worry but the island can be confusing when you're new and I wasn't sure-"

"Alright, alright." Chan steps up and drags Felix off Minho by his collar, a fond smile on his face as he ruffles Felix's hair affectionately. "Don't smother him."

"Sorry." Felix blushes, slipping out of Chan's grasp to grab the box he had been holding when he noticed Minho. "I got the lights."

"We're just setting up right now Minho, feel free to hang around." Seungmin explains before going to help Felic with something.

For the next half hour or so, Minho isn't sure what to do.

The boys all work together to pull supplies out of the garage and decorate the backyard, Woojin sticking long sticks into the ground and lighting the tops on fire as Felix and another boy named Changbin wrap fairy lights around the railings of the porch. Seungmin drags an old couch out of the corner of the garage and tells Minho it's okay if he wants to sit down and get comfortable while they set up. So Minho does.

He feels bad, but he wouldn't know how to help even if he could.

They all seem to know what to do without thought, and something tells Minho they do this pretty often for them to work so well together.

After a while Wonpil comes out of the house with a young man around his age, both of them going into the garage and checking the speakers at the back.

Wonpil chatters away while the other boy sits at the drums, smiling and responding occasionally when prompted but not saying much otherwise. When Minho looks closer he can see that Seungmin and Wonpil look extremely similar, which is why he isn't surprised at all when Chan walks by and informs him that they are in fact siblings.

Honestly, they even have the same hair color.

The rest of the band shows up and the yard is suddenly filled with a steady beat of drums and guitars as the band warms up, though Minho notices one last guitar stand is propped up against the wall on its own, and empty of the instrument it's meant to hold.

So far Minho has met and been introduced to everyone here; The bands guitarists Jae and Sungjin, their drummer Dowoon, keyboardist Wonpil, Seungmin, Woojin, Felix, Chan, and two new boys Jeongin and Changbin. It's a long list of names that Minho is trying his best to remember and associate with the faces that flit past him. Just in case someone tries to say hello when Minho isn't prepared.

"Are they waiting for someone?" Minho whispers to Chan when he finally settles down on the sofa beside him, watching the band linger around their instruments but make no move to play them anymore than they already have.

"Yeah, their bassist, Younghyun." Chan must see a flicker of recognition in Minho eyes. "You know him?"

Minho thinks back to his first night and nods. "Yeah, he was working at the convenience store."

"He's working there again?" Chan looks surprised for a moment before continuing. "He's been at school in the city for a while so this is kind of like a welcome home party for him. His younger brother is actually one of our friends, Jisung. He's super nice, I think you two would hit it off."

Just as Chan finishes speaking, two figures appear from around the corner of the house.

The two guys look similar in some ways, with the same facial structure, but the one with a guitar case hanging off his shoulder is a familiar face to Minho.

"Younghyun! Where the fuck have you been dude?" Jae asks as he tunes his guitar once more. He doesn't sound annoyed or anything though. "We were supposed to start like twenty minutes ago."

"Sorry guys, Jisung was being a diva again."

Younghyun's lips press together like he's trying to hide a smile, and Minho watches the younger of the two, Jisung, swat at Younghyun and make a noise of complaint.

"Awe c'mon Jisungie, we all know you use those bb creams," Changbin teases from the deck where he's just finishing the lights up with Felix, plugging them in and illuminating the whole yard with a pleasant glow.

"I will not hesitate to murder you Seo Changbin."

As Jisung grows closer Minho finds himself in awe of the boy. He would almost call himself speechless-if he hadn't have been practically silent for the past hour already.

Jisung is one of the prettiest people Minho has ever seen, and he truly means that in every way. He looks like a fucking model, like someone you would see on instagram with thousands of followers-someone who knows they're beautiful and uses it to their full advantage. The gentle waves of blonde hair poke out from under his old baseball cap in soft almost-curls, and Minho wonders what it would be like to run his fingers through them. He wonders if Jisung has flecks of gold in his eyes or if they're more of a warm chocolate brown-he can't tell from where he is now.

The boy radiates summer vibes with the way he fills out the shirt he wears perfectly, tanned skin contrasting beautifully against the dusty rose color of his t-shirt. His white-washed jeans, rolled up to his mid calf and a pair of navy chucks that end just below his ankles complete the look.

"What's up guys?"

Jisung falls onto the couch with a small huff of air, right beside Chan. Minho averts his eyes when he finds himself mapping out the slope of Jisung's nose of all things.

"Hey 'Sungie. You go out surfing today?" Felix asks.

"Yeah, Jeongin Changbin and I went around the west side of the island. We saw some dude by the shops on our way out, I had never seen him before-"

Minho knows he's staring when Jisung's eyes flicker over to meet his, and the whole world seems to slow for a split second. Minho averts his gaze a second too late, cheeks burning when he realizes Jisung caught him.

Great first impression creep. Minho berates himself in his head.

"Oh, Jisung, this is Minho," Chan leans back so Jisung can see Minho properly, as he's sitting between them. "He's staying here for the summer."

"Hi." Minho waves, voice coming out much more airy than he meant it to. It's better than it breaking and making him sound like some half developed pre teen though.

"Hey, I'm Jisung." A hand is suddenly in Minho's line of view.

There's a moment of uncomfortable hesitation before Minho reaches over to take Jisung's hand, suddenly overcome with the sound of his father's voice in his head. Drilling the 'proper etiquette' of shaking someone's hand, especially someone you want to make a good impression on.

Squeeze firmly to show you aren't weak, don't let your hand by sweaty before you make contact, make eye contact.

Minho swallows around the lump in his throat and tries to meet Jisung's eyes with his own when he takes his hand. He's almost immediately shocked by the warmth that spreads up his arm with the contact. Jisung's steady hand encompassing Minho's own in a firm but gentle squeeze for just a moment.

The stress Minho had been putting on the situation dissipates when he sees Jisung give him a small smile, and release his hand.

The faint warmth of Jisung's hand lingers on his own while the rest of the boys chatter around him, the band setting up properly now that Younghyun is here and has his bass guitar.

"You guys ready?"

Sungjin's voice is raspy as he calls for their attention, a few cheers coming from the younger boys, Seungmin Woojin and Jisung especially.

Minho wonders if they're fans of the band, or if it's just because of their brothers.

"Let's get it!"

Jae nods, and suddenly the yard is plunged into darkness by Seungmin from where he stands by the circuit breaker. The area is illuminated by the fairy lights Felix and Changbin put up, and the red neon lights that are hung up at the back of the garage.

Minho watches with interest as the band lean into their microphones, but don't make a move to touch their instruments as they harmonize a single note together.

Then Jae strums his guitar, and the song begins. A slow rock ballad that tugs at Minho's heartstrings as soon as it reaches his ears. Each of the band members voices hitting a different melancholy timbre that pours emotions from every word they sing. Every change of pace. Minho can almost hear a proper backing track to the sounds of the bands instruments.

The song begins and ends with a slower pace to drag it out, and Minho finds himself in awe of the bands skill. He hadn't been sure what to expect when he arrived.

Cheers and applause fill the yard as the band congregates by the drum set, probably going over what to practice.

All of their bands songs are a different sound, but have the same underlying style that Minho decides must be the band itself. Even if Minho has never been the biggest fan of love songs he finds himself loving every single song they play.

Some of the boys have begun to move around as practice continues, but Minho stays at the couch.

"They're performing in a week."

Minho jumps when he hears someone right beside him, too close for comfort and with no warning to their approach. He turns to see Jisung where Chan had been, but must have moved from sometime during or after the last song.

"It's a big show, like a 'battle of the bands' sort of thing. They've got to figure out their set list by Friday."

Jisung's eyes glimmer as he talks animatedly about the band-he must be a fan. Telling Minho about how hard the band has been practicing, and has even kept their name a secret for months just so they can announce it at the battle.

"Seungmin knows the name already," Jisung speaks through a pout, and Minho doesn't think it's kind of cute. "He says it's 'cause he's doing a project for the band, but I think it's cause Wonpil is awful at keeping secrets. Younghyun won't even give me a hint, he's so mean. Like, he knows how much I love their music... Oh, sorry I'm totally ranting-"

"You're fine." The corner of Minho's lips quirks up into a small smile as he glances down at his hands in his lap. "You really like their music?"

"Oh yeah, Younghyun is so talented and their music is super cool. The one they played first, Letting Go, is my favorite of their rock ballads-"

"Yo Jisungie, come over here for a second."

Younghyun calls his brother from the garage, where they seem to be looking for something with Wonpil.

Jisung jumps up and jogs over, and Minho doesn't take it personally when he doesn't say goodbye. Their conversation wasn't really a conversation , not with Minho barely saying a word. Jisung probably was just trying to fill up the silence, he seems like a social person.

The pocket of his hoodie begins to vibrate all the sudden, and Minho jumps at the feeling. He pulls out his phone to see Hyunjin's contact photo lighting up his screen with a request for a video call.

Minho glances around to see most of the boys busy or distracted by something or other around them. So he swipes the green button and hunches over the phone screen, making sure the volume is as low as he can get it while still being able to hear Hyunjin.

"Hey."

"Minho! Sorry I couldn't call you earlier I was at dinner-Hey why does your face look all weird?" Hyunjin asks, face getting close to his camera as if it will let him see any more of what is going around him. It won't, not with Minho's flushed face taking up most of this screen as he tries to hide his phone.

"I'm at the party now-" Minho cringes as Hyunjin squeals.

"Oh my god really? Minho you're doing so good sweetie, can I meet everyone?"

It's times like these that Minho wishes Hyunjin wasn't such a social butterfly, that they could at least have that personality trait to share between them. But no, Hyunjin just loves people. Loves meeting them, talking to them, making friends with them. And people love him right back, it's just who he is. Lovely Hwang Hyunjin.

If only he didn't have Lee Minho as his friend.

"Uh, no. They're busy." Minho shakes his head, ignoring the way Hyunjin pouts and flicks the camera.

"You're no fun."

"I'm loads of fun, just not right now." Minho grins, a small giggle slipping past his lips when Hyunjin screws up his face, sticking his tongue out at Minho. Hyunjin smiles sweetly at him though, propping his head up on his hand thoughtfully.

"Hmph. So are you thinking of leaving me for any of them yet?"

Minho scoffs at Hyunjin's teasing, "Yeah, there's this one kid Chan, cause he's not an annoying little brat."

"I'm hurt Min, really-"

"Hey, whatcha doin'?"

Minho looks up and over his shoulder to see Jeongin leaning over his shoulder and looking at his phone screen curiously.

Jeongin is the youngest of the bunch here tonight, and Minho would be lying if he said he didn't already have a soft spot for the kid. There's just something about the sweetness in his smile but his big personality and his lack of fear to call out his older friends that Minho want to ruffle his hair like Jeongin was his own younger sibling.

"I'm Minho's best friend Hyunjin!" Hyunjin says excitedly, seeing his chance and sprinting with it.

"Who's Hyunjin?"

Seungmin pokes his head into the conversation to look at Minho's phone screen, and all the sudden Changbin too is squishing in between Minho and Jeongin to get a better look and wave at Hyunjin, who is beginning to grow more pixelated from the bad reception outside.

All the sudden Minho's phone is out of his hand and with Felix's across the yard, who is talking to Hyunjin with the most animated smile Minho has ever seen as the rest of the kids follow him around, trying to say hello. He's holding the phone up so Hyunjin can see the yard and introducing him to everyone, even the band members. Minho feels like melting into the ground where he stands.

"This is Chan and Woojin!"

The two oldest look up from where they were restocking the garage cooler, laughing about something between themselves.

"Minho told me about Chan," Minho can hear Hyunjin still, "Hi! I'm Hwang Hyunjin, Minho's best friend in the whole world ."

He catches sight of his phone screen and sees a bright smile on Hyunjin's face, eyes screwed up into a smile as he laughs at something Chan said. The rest of the boys are gathered around the phone, asking Hyunjin questions and making comments here and there.

"You're so pretty, woah."

Queue a shy laugh from Hyunjin.

"Oh I'm-I'm not that special."

"That's your room? City houses are so big!"

"How did you meet Minho?"

"Oh we met at a modern dance workshop a few years ago, we bumped into each other, found that we were pretty similar and the rest is history."

Minho doesn't say anything as the memory pokes at his subconscious. So much more happened that day, but he and Hyunjin both knew it wasn't something they talked about. Not even with each other, it wasn't important. So Minho takes the memory and shoves it back into the box he has in the corner of his mind, where he doesn't have to look at it if he doesn't want to.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Minho sees Jisung come out of the house with a coil of thick wires in hand. Jisung sets them down at the edge of the garage before walking up to Felix where he holds the phone.

"Who's this?"

Minho wishes that Hyunjin didn't have so much energy, as he greets Jisung with the same enthusiasm he has for everyone else.

"Hi! I'm Hwang Hyunjin, Minho's friend-"

Jisung glances over to where Minho is standing by the couch still, and Minho realizes he must look absolutely horrified watching the situation unfold. Jisung just gives him a smile though before turning to wave at Hyunjin.

"Hi Hyunjin, I'm Jisung."

"Oh you're pretty," Hyunjin says suddenly. "I love your shirt."

Some alarm goes off in Minho's head. One that says it's time for Hyunjin to say goodbye, and for Minho to slap him the next time they see each other.

"This guy?" Changbin chuckles and wraps an arm around Jisung's shoulders-whose cheeks have turned almost the same color as the shirt he wears. Changbin presses his finger into one of them, squishing Jisung's cheeks together. "He's too squirrely to be pretty."

"Oh of course, but if it's not him-" Hyunjin's voice is teasing, but not in a way that Minho has ever heard directed at himself. "Maybe it's you then?"

Changbin's eyes widen and he looks completely caught off guard for a moment before his face flushes into a dark red color.

"Okay, I think it's time for Hyunjin to go." Minho finally says, relieved when Seungmin takes the phone from a pouting Felix and hands it to him without any trouble. "Say goodbye."

"You're no fun Minnie," Hyunjin laughs, but gets up as close to the camera as he can as he waves goodbye to everyone. "It was nice to meet you all! Take care of Minho while he's with you!"

"Bye Hyunjin! Call again sometime!" Jeongin calls out as he waves goodbye. A chorus of agreement sounds as all the boys tell him to call soon, and ask him to visit if he can.

Minho turns away with the phone and glares at Hyunjin once he's sure no one else can see, making a face when Hyunjin just giggles. He's lucky Minho can't seem to stay mad at him for long periods of time.

Minho looks back at the boys-all watching the band as they begin to play another song-and nods in agreement. He doesn't mention how it's nice to not be in the house alone for another night, but something about Hyunjin's smile tells him that his friend doesn't need to hear him say it. He just knows.

"They are... Are you going to visit soon?" Minho asks, trying not to sound too hopeful in case it will be a while.

They haven't seen each other in ages, not since last summer. A year without being able to hang out seems so long, even though they talk almost everyday, even if it's just to send each other a stupid meme. Minho misses his best friend.

"Minho, food's ready!"

He hears Chan call out, and sure enough there's a table set up that the rest of the boys are practically attacking. It'll probably all be gone if Minho doesn't hurry over.

"Go have fun, I have summer work to do anyways." Hyunjin waves one last time before Minho hangs up the call.

"Bye dude."

Minho pockets the phone and shoves his hands into his hoodie pockets as he walks over, wondering what kind of food was put out. He sees some crackers and chopped up fruit, and even a still hot pan that must have had some grilled pork belly on it. Minho seems to be too late to the feast though, cause almost all of the good food is gone.

"Minho, hey, I got you a plate."

Minho turns to see Jisung standing there with an extra plate and pair of chopsticks in hand, a small smile on his face as he holds it out.

"I wasn't sure what you liked so I took a bit of everything. You learn as you go that food doesn't last long with them around." Jisung explains with a small chuckle when Minho takes the plate, grilled pork still steaming and carefully separated from the fruit so they don't touch. "I hope it's okay, if it's not enough you can have some of mine. I eat a lot so my plate is kinda full."

"No, it's perfect. Thank you." Minho takes the chopsticks from Jisung gratefully, wondering if all the food is set apart because Jisung doesn't like it touching or he was being considerate in case Minho was picky like that.

Either way, Minho appreciates the effort.

The yard is void of music as everyone chows down on the food made by Seungmin's mother, who Minho bumped into briefly on his quest to find a bathroom earlier in the night. Much like all the other residents of the island she was a bit older, but endlessly kind as she gave Minho directions and asked him if he had any food allergies before she fed them-Minho told her that he didn't know of any.

It's different eating with a bunch of people, Minho realizes.

So far he had only really eaten by himself or with Aunt Yoo, who was a chatterbox but ate well. Which meant their meals could often go through bouts of silence as they both ate their food.

Here though, there was a constant buzz of noise and clinking of chopsticks and forks on plates as everyone ate and talked.

The younger ones share food amongst each other, and Minho finds that Felix definitely is one who loves to eat when he comes around for the third time to pick something off of Minho's plate. He hums and shows his enthusiasm with wide eyes every time he puts something in his mouth. It's like watching a child eat their favorite dish over and over for the first time.

Woojin seemed like a very stoic and mature character, but he and the rest of the older boys prove themselves to be very witty and fun to be around. Especially when Woojin begins to imitate Changbin at one point, and Seungmin ends up spraying soda out of his nose from laughing so hard.

Much like Felix, Jisung seems to enjoy food a lot, stuffing his cheeks with the stuff until he really does look like a little squirrel, as Changbin had pointed out earlier.

It feels like a proper family meal.

Minho sits on the ground between Chan and Woojin while they eat, putting in a word or two as they talk but otherwise just picking at the food left on his plate until Felix comes around one last time and Minho decides to just give the whole thing to the boy-who ends up sharing it with the rest of the boys.

"So Minho, how are you getting home?" Woojin asks suddenly, hand over his mouth as he chews.

"Oh, I'm just walking. I know the way... Kind of."

"Jisung can walk you home, we live right down the street aways." Minho looks up to see Younghyun standing beside them with Sungjin. "Practice is pretty much over so we're heading out. I'm sure he wouldn't mind, would you 'Sung?"

Jisung, who was just walking by, looks up with a wide eyed expression. There's a smear of grease on his upper lip from the grilled pork belly that he doesn't seem to notice. Cute.

"Huh?"

"Minho needs someone to walk him home, you can do it." Younghyun sounds like he's teasing Jisung in some way as he speaks, a certain lilt to his voice. Minho wonders if it's cause he's his older brother that he's teasing.

"Oh-Oh yeah, sure." Jisung nods, looking kind of like a deer caught in headlights as Minho walks up to him.

Minho picks at a stray string poking out of the sleeve of his hoodie, wondering if he should say something to Jisung or wait for the other boy to say something.

"You have grease on your face."

Minho cringes as soon as it comes out of his mouth, but he honestly couldn't think of anything else to say, and all the sudden it was just coming out of him. He was surprised he didn't stutter at all with how fast he spoke. Almost as fast as the flush that spreads across Jisung's face.

"Shit-" Jisung wipes his face with his arm, barely meeting Minho's eyes when he looks up. "Did I get it?"

Minho doesn't trust himself to speak, so he just nods.

Everyone else is busy packing up, Wonpil and Seungmin pushing the couches back to where they were before everyone showed up while Dowoon and Sunjin go around picking up stray trash-not that there is any, it amazes Minho how polite and conscientious everyone was all night. Chan packs up the cooler of drinks while Seungmin pesters Felix for the can of Cherry Cola in his hands because "it's too late, you'll be up all night".

"We're off, I'm gonna bring Jeonginnie home." Woojin announces. The youngest boy is half asleep and hanging off Woojin piggyback style, arms hanging useless around Woojin's shoulders as he yawns, prompting Minho to feel the urge to do the same. "It was nice to meet you Minho, I'll see you next time?"

"I'll try." Minho smiles and waves goodbye to the two, watching them walk away with a newfound fondness when Woojin adjusts his grip on a now sleeping Jeongin.

"Ready to go?"

Minho looks up to see Jisung carrying one of the bands amplifiers in his arms, showing barely any strain as the box weighs down on his arms.

He hums in agreement, not wanting to keep Jisung waiting any longer. They both say goodbye to everyone, even brushing past Mrs. Kim on their way out. She tells them to get home safely, and pulls Minho and Jisung both into separate hugs. Minho notices how she holds Jisung a little tighter, squeezing him once before her arms drop.

"Get home safely!"

After that it's just them and the empty road.

The only sound is their shoes crunching over the gravel road. Minho finds himself kicking the same rock over and over again, zig zagging all over as he follows the stone, until is rolls off the road and Minho gives up on his venture.

"So you're here for the summer?" Jisung finally speaks, eyes on the road ahead as they walk. It takes a moment for Minho to respond even though the answer is simple.

"Yeah, with my aunt... You live here?"

"Yep. You probably figured that Younghyun is my brother."

"You two look alike," Is all Minho says.

It could be a trick of the moonlight, but Jisung's eyes seem to brighten when Minho says that, smile growing the tiniest bit. Minho wonders if Jisung's idol is Younghyun.

"Are you enjoying it here?"

Minho thinks for a moment. He hasn't not been enjoying himself, he's just been tired. It isn't uncharacteristic of him to be lethargic during the summer months, and he's just not yet used to also having so much going on. With him arriving, and having Aunt Yoo around him all the time, he's been slowly going through an adjustment period. Realizing that it isn't just him, the apartment and sometimes his parents anymore. Now it's him, Aunt Yoo, sunday pancakes, and people who want to make friends with him.

It doesn't seem like too much, but it's still an adjustment period.

"It's not bad." Minho finally says. Jisung seems to accept his answer.

They don't say much else after that.

"This is you." Jisung announces when they get to Aunt Yoo's house, the windows lit up in soft lamplight through the shades that are pulled down. It looks like a cozy cottage from the end of the driveway.

"Thanks for walking me home."

"No problem... Sleep well Minho."

Minho feels Jisung's eyes on him the entire time he walks to the door, lancing out of the corner of his eyes just before he walks in to see Jisung still standing at the end of the driveway. So Minho waves to let him know he's okay before walking in.

Aunt Yoo is on the couch with a book on her hand when Minho walks in, head poking out from behind the back of the couch when she hears him sliding his shoes off.

"How was it? Did you eat? Should I have made dinner? Were the boys nice? Do I need to call someone's mother?" Her questions come almost too quick for Minho to follow, and she looks a cross between worried and excited as she holds her breath.

"It was fine Aunt Yoo, I had a good time." Minho assures her, his shoulders curling in on himself as exhaustion creeps through his muscles and bones. They'd been tense for most of the afternoon, and his calf muscles are beginning to burn from walking so far today. "I'm just tired now."

"Of course you are, sorry. You should sleep now."

Aunt Yoo walks up to him, lips pressed together thoughtfully for a moment before pulling him into a warm hug.

Her hugs have grown less awkward as she began to realize Minho didn't really know what to do with them, but they're still warm and comfortable. The only difference is the control Minho has over them. At first he didn't really get it, and would hug Aunt Yoo long after he began to feel awkward, but now as soon as Minho loosens his own arms, Aunt Yoo will do the same. Allowing Minho to step away from the touch when he needs to.

Minho stays for a bit longer than usual this time. He likes how warm it is.

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Summers End - luway - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Minho is close to a full blown panic by the end of the day, pacing his room and picking at his shirt. The blue button up gets tossed onto the mattress with all of the other shirts Minho owns, ruining all the hard work he put into unpacking.

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Sweet

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Summary

Jisung is busy, and he's content being busy. He doesn't have time to mess around. It's his senior year of college, he's glad to be making money where he can, producing music in his free time, and performing in the subway station near campus three times a week. But when flirty stranger drops his number in the tip jar, he can't help but be intrigued. And when what he swears to keep casual starts to feel like anything but, Jisung realizes maybe he can make time, especially for those important.

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Big Chance - koto - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary Jisung is busy, and he's content being busy. He doesn't have time to mess around.

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It's so good

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Summary

Ever since they were children, Jisung and Hyunjin have never particularly gotten along. It's a given fact of life: the sky is blue, the sun sets in the west, and Hwang Hyunjin and Han Jisung hate each other. But then their friends somehow get it into their heads that they're dating and instead of setting them straight, the pair decide it's in their best interests to play along.

(In Jisung's defence, it isn't even his idea.)

Series

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open your eyes and see - flying_dream - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary Ever since they were children, Jisung and Hyunjin have never particularly gotten along.

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Moving story TvT

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Chapter Text

Jisung knew that he was different for a while, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

At first he had thought he was gay, but he was hesitant to come to that conclusion. Mostly because every time the questions would ask if he ever wanted to have sex with anyone of the same sex.

The answer honestly, was no. In fact, he didn't want to have sex with anybody. He doesn't even subconsciously think about sex. Every time he looked up what that meant he was met with things saying it was either normal for his age or he needed to see a doctor. Asexuality wasn't mentioned once, not until he dug deep for answers.

The relief he felt when he realized that there were more people were like him made him so happy. He was a little upset that no one was really fully accepting or believing of it but it was something.

But he was also terrified.

By the time he had figured out he didn't want sex, half of his classmates had already lost their virginity. The pressure to join them in this, supposed right of passage, was growing heavier, and heavier.

That's why he tried to say away from anyone who wasn't one of his 3 friends.

He never went to parties.

He never drank.

He never got close.

Or, at least that's what he planned anyway. And every time he broke one of these rules, a small piece of him broke along with it.

So the day before his 20th birthday he stood in front of the mirror and took a deep breath.

"they're going to drag you to a party."

"get a little drunk to keep them happy."

"DO NOT let yourself get close. It will only hurt you."

With a sigh of dread, he crawled into his bed, repeating those sentences until he drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning he was awaken by the sound of his 3 best friends beating on his apartment door at 10 am.

He almost didn't want to let them in, his mind telling him that nothing good was going to happen if he did.

Too bad he had already turned the knob when the thought was finished.

The 3 boys burst into the cramped apartment screaming happy birthday while holding a movie he had been wanting to see for ages and a breakfast that he was too lazy to cook for himself. The difference between his laughing and struggle for air weren't very noticeable, but the anxious thoughts were pushed out of his head for a brief moment.

He wanted to stay like that for the rest of the day, surrounded by his friends, watching some silly rom com Jisung had joked about seeing, and eating food that was definitely not good for them. But all good things must come to an end.

"So when do you guys want to leave for the party?" Hyunjin asked as the end credits began to roll past the screen.

Jisung choked on his drink,"Party?"

"they're going to take you to a party."

"Stop acting like you're not interested, you don't have to worry about getting in trouble, and no one we graduated with will be there," he said reassuringly.

"So I'm The DD this time?" said slightly disappointed, but this seemed arranged ahead of time.

"Duh, it's Felix's birthday too. So when are we going to this party?" Hyunjin said, going back to his original question.

"9:30 I guess," Felix shrugged, grabbing a handful of popcorn and shoving it in his mouth.

"So that gives us time to order takeout and watch another movie?" Jisung said cheerfully.

"You just ate!" Seungmin shouted.

"But the food is gone now," he pouted.

"True," Felix, the only one in their small group that had an appetite as large as his, nodded.

"Fine, what do you guys want," Hyunjin rolled his eyes, reaching for his phone.

Jisung sighed in relief, he wanted to keep the light feeling in his chest for as long as possible. Trying to keep himself distracted before his thoughts consumed him.

He just had to be extra careful not to out himself for one, long, night.

9:20 pm

Those same rules repeated in Jisungs head ever since his friends left the apartment. He couldn't even brush his teeth without thinking about everything that could go wrong. His hands shook as he sent the text saying he was ready and getting an 'otw' in response.

9:30 pm

His friends had pulled a reluctant Jisung out of his apartment and into Seungmin's car. It was kind of small and Jisung's knees were digging into the seat in front of him because Hyunjin had called shotgun.

"Who's party is this anyway?" Jisung asked cautiously.

"Some kid in my physics class. Lee , something...." Hyunjin said carelessly.

"You're taking us to a party hosted by some one you don't even know!?" Jisung shouted slightly panicked.

"Relax, some people from my vocal class are going, and one of them is in your music theory class." Seungmin said, his eyes glued the road.

"Seungmin, that class has 100 people in it and I don't even know one persons name," Jisung groaned,"and half the people in that class couldn't even read music when they started."

"Relax," Felix put a hand on his arm,"We just want you to have some fun and break your routine for a little bit. You can leave whenever you want."

10:00 pm

Jisung wanted to leave, 5 minutes in and he wanted to leave. The music was loud in his ears and the sound of the bass caused his chest to ache. All he could hear were the occasional screams of his friends and lyrics that mentioned something he never wanted to do. It was like his mind had so much help peer pressuring him into thinking he was broken.

"Hey Jisungie~" Hyunjin slurred, clearly an over exaggeration because Jisung had only seen him take one shot, well it was about to be two. The older held up two shot glasses, one clearly meant for the other.

"get a little drunk to keep them happy."

With a reluctant sigh he took the shot a downed it in one go. The alcohol tasted bitter on his tounge and burned on the way down. His eyes squeezed shut and when they opened again it revealed Hyunjin downing his own drink and shouting,"Your alcoholic virginity has been taken!"

That phrasing made Jisung internally cringe, but he played it off as a slight giggle at his antics. That enabled his friend to run off to go find more liquor for him to consume.

10:30 pm

"wow, Sungie, you hold your alcohol well," Hyunjin slurred.

"yeah, I guess." He said trying to hide how drunk he actually was.

In the past 30 minutes he had 3 shots, courtesy of Hyunjin. Seungmin also had a beer or two with him, putting him at a total of 5 drinks.

Felix had dragged him to the dance floor, moving his body in time with the song and Jisung swaying slightly.

Someone had bumped into Jisung and as he turned to apologize, everything stopped when he looked at him."I'm sor-wow," he said without thinking.

The stranger just rolled his eyes,"first time?" he sighed.

Jisung nodded, his face getting redder than it already was.

He just chuckled and pat him on the shoulder,"Have fun then." and with a small smile he disappeared into the crowd.

When Jisung turned back to Felix he realized that he was alone. His brain immediately went into panic mode. He shoved past anyone that was blocking his path, desperate to find his blonde, Australian, friend. After searching the whole house, he quickly realized, he not only lost Felix, But Hyunjin and Seungmin as well.

11:00 pm

Everything was too much.. the heart pounding bass from when he first entered made him feel like the muscle would stop at any second. Jisung also had a high sensitivity to high tones, the song that was playing had a loud electric screeching in the background. His mind was clouded and the room was spinning. Luckily, he focused enough to find an open door, without a second thought he rushed in, covering his ears and slowly rocking back and forth to push the overwhelming feelings back inside of him.

He needed to think. He needed to breathe. All his thoughts were being consumed by a cut rate singer screaming over a techno beat. He could hear himself hyperventilating, the tears starting to prick at the corners of his eyes. He pulled his knees closer to his chest. He had so much pressure on his ears it felt like he was under water.

He was still trying to calm himself down when the door to the room closed and someone walked towards him. When they tapped his arm, his hand came off of his ears and he physically screamed. All the sounds that he had almost blocked out came rushing back into his ears. His body reacted before his mind did and he gripped onto the slightly muscular figure. "Make it stop," he sobbed.

He heard the person move around slightly and gently uncover his ears. No less than a second later a slow song filled his ears. He relaxed his shoulders as the calming rhythms took over the more chaotic ones. The lyrics started to take over the overwhelming static in his mind. He felt himself start to take bigger breaths and his mind cleared up as much as it could while he was still drunk.

While all of this was happening, Jisung was pulled into a hug by the other person in the room. They slowly swayed with the beat of the song, as Jisung finally was able to think. When he was finally able to see properly he realized the person holding him was the same guy he had bumped into before he lost Felix.

"I'm so sorry," he all but threw himself out of his arms. Jisung could feel his face getting redder by the second.

The boy just chuckled,"Don't apologize, happens to me too."

"Really?" he said dumbfounded, of all the people at this party he ran into the one person who could help.

"Yes, parties aren't really my thing," he shrugged.

"Then why'd you come?" He tilted his head.

"It's my party, and this is my house." He said amused.

"I guess I should let you get back then," he tried to hide his shock and fear as he stood up. The two of them together, in what he now realized was a bedroom, could lead to some rumors he definitely doesn't want.

"Do you really think you should be going out there right now?" he said, causing Jisung to stop.

"Well, no...but I don't want to be a bother, and I'm looking for my friends." just as he said this a loud shattering noise came from outside.

The boy, who he still didn't know the name of, pinched the bridge of his nose,"the only bother to me is out there. What's your name and who are you looking for? I can go and find them while I'm dealing with what ever just happened."

"Okay... my name is JIsung and I'm looking for Felix," He said sitting back down on the bed.

"I'll be right back Jisung," He closed the door on the way out.

Jisung sat back and thought of what just happened, he smiled to himself when he realized that he could've just been yelled at and kicked out.

After a few minutes he got a text from Seungmin.

Minnie : Hyunjin got really drunk and stole my car keys so I took him and Felix home. Do you need me to come back?

Me: nah, I have money for the bus.

Minnie: Okay.... Just text me when you get home

Just as Jisung was about to respond, the door opened.

"Sorry I think your friends left you," he said sitting next to him.

"Yeah, I just got a text from them," He sighed, starting to stand up,"I'm gonna get going, it takes a few minutes to get to the bus stop."

"I'm not letting you ride the bus this late at night." The way he said that caused Jisung to stop, it was like he was grabbing his hand without touching him.

"Then what am I going to do, get a ride from you?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, I have a licence," He said standing up.

"One, I don't even know your name. Two, I thought this was your party?"

He just laughed,"My name is Minho and my friends can take care of it." He grabbed his car keys and headed out the door.

When they had finally made it in the car Jisung let out a sigh of relief. The sound of the party finally gone.

They rode in silence for a few minutes,"If your friends knew you went into sensory overload, why'd they take you to a party?" Minho asked.

Jisung rubbed the back of his neck,"There's alot of things I don't tell my friends," he messed with his hands a bit.

"Why not?" Minho didn't take his eyes off the road but did raise his brow in confusion.

"They just....Wouldn't understand," Jisung sighed. Being gay was barely accepted, how the hell was he supposed to tell them he was ace?

"Maybe they'll understand more than you think," Minho said calmly, looking at Jisung for a second.

The car fell silent again, the only thing being said were Jisungs occasional instructions to Minho on how to get home. The silence didn't feel awkward, it was kind of nice just having someone be there with you. Jisung wanted to fight the urge to talk as they turned the corner to his street. "My apartment is 2 buildings down," he said as the car slowed to a stop. Jisung took off his seat belt,"Thanks for driving me."

Minho smiled at him, "no problem, I needed to get out of there for a moment anyway."

Jisung smiled back a little,"Well, I should get inside, thank you again." he stepped out of the car.

"I hope I get to see you again sometime," Minho smirked.

Jisung felt his face turn red,"Um...I..Uh."

"Bye Jisung," Minho said lightly. Jisung almost didn't realize he had rolled up the window and was about to drive away.

With a shake of his head, he turned around and walked towards his apartment building. Only hearing Minho drive off when he had opened the door. When he had closed the door to the apartment he realized that he still had a smile on his face.

"Don't, get close. You'll just hurt in the end."

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I'm not like you... - Chapter 1 - Blank_Is_typing - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Jisung knew that he was different for a while, but he couldn't figure out what it was. At first he had thought he was gay, but he was hesitant to come to that conclusion. Mostly because every time the questions would ask if he ever wanted to have sex with anyone of the same sex.

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Misaeng's Quote

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"An Oasis in K-Drama land"
I found myself was in the "bored point" for K-Drama in past two years. The repetitive theme with dull story, messy plot and lack of chemistry are some of the reasons that there isn't any K-Drama who can capture my heart and make me addicted. It's like I am in the center of desert and can't find an oasis to fulfill my thirsty desire.
That's until I found Misaeng. For me, Misaeng is an Oasis. This drama successfully changed my skeptical about K-Drama. Taking office daily life as a theme with fascinating plot & characters also the natural chemistry between the actors made me fell in love from the first episode. Without romance element, this drama still has strong magnets in attracting viewers' attention. And one of its magnet is the awesome meaningful quotes. Let's check them out!!!
Episode 1

A road open as you travel along. A road that doesn't open isn't a road. Roads are open to everyone. But not everyone can have the roads. My road ended there. It's not because I lacked skills or luck. Or because I had the part time job on the side. Or because my parent's couldn't support me. Or because my mom became bedridden after my father passed away. That would be too painful. So I want to think I didn't work hard enough. I want to think that way even it isn't true. I ended up here because I didn't work hard. I was abandoned because I didn't work hard. - Jang Geu Rae

My effort is different. The quality. The quantity too. - Jang Geu Rae

Episode 2

Episode 3
It was always like that. Even on the way to the Go (Baduk)-academy in the crack of dawn. Even when I came home after my late night part-time job. There were people outside no matter what time I start my day. I thought people would still be sleeping. But as always the world is faster than me. - Jang Geu Rae

What do you think the life is? You think it's a big queston? It's simple. A collection of your choices is your life. The choices you make in each moment makes up the quality of your life. - Han Suk Yool
Episode 4

Surviving means going towards a complete life. We're all incomplete lives (Misaeng). - Mr. Oh

Episode 5
Most bad choice become regrets and get forgotten but not always. Some things haunt you forever. They don't get forgotten and you can't take them back. - Jang Geu Rae
Episode 6

You know when it's toughest when doing sales? Having to entertain someone you know personally. What's tougher is having to entertain a friend. Entertaining someone inevitably happens in a vertical dynamic. It's more embarrassing since it's your friend. Then you wonder if it's all worth it. - Kim Dong Sik
A move you make when things don't look good. The move you make to turn tables is called a clever move in the game of Go. If the clever move was brilliant, it proves they had the upper hand. Clever moves are dealt with by proper moves. - Jang Geu Rae
The secret is to scrap unnecessary things when in a crisis. Become irresponsible. Scrap it. You can't take care of everyone. You need to survive here. - Jang Geu Rae
Everyone has their own game of Go. - Jang Geu Rae
Episode 7

You need to kick a ball to make a goal. - Ahn Young Yi

Episode 8
Will power is nothing without your body health. - Jang Geu Rae's Baduk Teacher
Episode 9 Episode 10
Be careful when you question others' errors. Don't hate the person or you won't be able to focus on the errors. Disregard the person to look at the errors. That way you can question them and get honest answers. - Kim Dong Sik

Whether we win or lose, the move we want to make is always made somehow. - Jang Geu Rae

People think we just wear neckties and work like a block in the wall. We think our action won't affect society or other company, but work is our life. - Kim Dong Sik
Episode 11

Episode 12
Starting with the outline is a precedent. If we focus too much on precedents, what's important might not shine through. - Mr. Oh
Episode 13

There is no direct correlation between your school grades and happiness. - Han Suk Yool

We might not see it but don't think it doesn't exist. The figures we decide on are a big deal to others. - Mr. Kang

It couldn't have been better. Yes!! - Mr. Oh

Episode 14

Have a cold mind and a warm heart. - Mr. Chun

It's not an issue of full-timer and temporary positions. It's not that. I just want to continue working. With our team I've worked with. Us.... Together... Always... - Jang Geu Rae

Episode 15 Episode 16

You had to withstand hardships by yourself. Even if you lose a stone, the game goes on. - Jang Geu Rae

Episode 17

The people you meet can change your life. If you follow a fly, you'll end up near a toilet. If you follow a honeybee, you'll end up in a flowerbed. - Mr. Oh

So that's why I'm in a flowerbed. - Jang Geu Rae

Life is all about change. - Mr. Oh

Episode 18
If I don't do it now, even if the chance comes next time, I don't know if I'll feel the same way. - Mr. Oh
Episode 19
Right, life throws tough quizzes at you to make you helpless. But it leaves you hints in funny places at times. But of course, there's no guarantee the answers you get are correct. - Jang Geu Rae

Hang in there. Make sure you win. Even if you think you won't make it, fight to the end. In life, there are many things you start even if you know t he end. - Mr. Oh

Episode 20
Suk Yool's letter to help making Geu Rae as a full-timer (I was literally touched in this scene).

Just because you forgot your dream doesn't make your dream vanish. Just because you can't see the road doesn't make the road vanish. Lu Xun said this, "Hope can't be said it exists, nor can it be said it's not exist. It's just like roads across the earth. For actually the earth had no roads to begin with, but when many men pass one way, a road is made." - Mr. Oh

You can steal our business, but not our people. - Mr. Oh

Another road has opened. And I'm not alone. - Jang Geu Rae

Fantastic Four in Misaeng

The Solid Sales Team 3

Mr. Oh & Jang Geu Rae (Love their bromance ♥♥♥)

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"An Oasis in K-Drama land" I found myself was in the "bored point" for K-Drama in past two years. The repetitive theme with dull story, messy plot and lack of chemistry are some of the reasons that there isn't any K-Drama who can capture my heart and make me addicted.

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So cute / Campsite

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Chapter Text

Minho doesn't stop paying attention to the younger when they wake up, subconsciously finding his eyes plastered to the younger's back when he's not looking. The warmth of Jisung's palm and his body pressed into Minho's side echo through his body.

The morning is significantly softer, clouds blocking the harsh sun - at least the weather doesn't feel as overwhelming when his heart is struggling to keep up with itself.

It doesn't make sense, nothing has changed. Except maybe the heat rising into his cheeks whenever Jisung turns to look at him, with his adorable bed hair that's messing with Minho's head and addictive yawns that Minho mirrors just as easily as his smile.

He thinks he might just be in a mood, not caught up with reality after last night. Jisung clinging to him and brushing their shoulders does feel like a faraway daydream.

But then the drowsiness wears off and he awakens enough to carry out their routine, helping around with entertaining the kids and participating in activities that require his assistance. And yet, whenever he casts a look at the younger - and finds him looking back every time - he feels his heart being sent into overdrive.

It's as if the nature wasn't enough to bring him peace because Han Jisung comes in like a gust of wind to ruffle his leaves and leave him confused, yearning for the lingering touches he left in his wake. A force that quakes the ground under his feet, just slightly.

A sort of relief comes with the lunch break and announcing their afternoon trip, a promise of the lake visit added with some interesting challenges to keep the campers entertained.

Jisung beams just as brightly, joining the cheering - his voice tingles pleasantly in Minho's ears.

Even as they set off, Jisung doesn't lose his childlike enthusiasm, and Minho cannot keep his eyes away. Not with how Jisung bumps their shoulders together and stays loud to his ears even when he's skipped away to play with the campers.

Felix must have noticed the way he keeps spacing out, and he's not very subtly looking directly at Jisung either, which is something the freckled boy has teased him about yesterday, too.

"You seem happy that I brought him along," he muses in between listening to the young girl holding his hand babbling about toys.

The weather is bright and the sun filters through the leaves just enough to tickle Minho's lashes when he looks up. The breeze makes breathing easier and brings a phantom flavour of fresh grass onto his tongue, where it mixes with a chocolate bar he and Jisung shared earlier that morning.

When he closes his eyes, the sunlight reflects through them, and a familiar smile appears in his mind, just as bright and warm. He doesn't chase it away.

"He surely is refreshing," Minho admits. "It's a new one, having an adult more problematic than the children themselves."

"Come on, mate," Felix insists, beaming brightly. "Jisung isn't that bad, and so aren't they. You're just too proud to admit that you took a liking to him."

"So what if I have," he answers, and casts a brief look at the young girl by Felix' side. She's listening in but it doesn't appear she understands the implication.

And Minho can't say he understands it, either - but he has developed a soft spot for Jisung over the week. More like a human being, he resembles an animal to take care of, the fourth cat to feed and play with. That... might be it, actually. "Shut up, he reminds me of a cat."

"Yeah, right, because now I'm not going to fondly coo at you," Felix grins.

"Is that the most you can do? You're not very intimidating."

Felix swiftly grabs hold of his water bottle, aiming it at Minho with a challenging expression before he bursts out laughing. Minho follows suit, relieved to have let the topic go.

"How is it going, by the way?"

"What is going?" he observes Felix, scans his eyes, but he doesn't see what Felix is hinting at in the slightest. They don't really talk about school during the schoolyear, and they haven't caught up on anything since the camp started, both too busy taking care of the kids separately, and Minho taking the responsibility of guarding Jisung on himself.

The little girl answers instead. "We're going straight to the lake. You should know that, or we'll get lost."

Felix laughs and pats her head. "We surely don't want to go straight into the lake, we didn't take our swimsuits," the girl giggles. "But don't worry, we have Seungminnie so we can't get lost."

"And we aren't going straight anywhere, either," he responds to Minho. "Or anywhere really, if that's what you're saying."

Minho's throat closes up.

"I did not say anything," he gulps it down. "You'll have to be more specific."

Felix then glances down at the kid and makes a grimace she fortunately doesn't notice, too engrossed in the forest around. "With him, I mean."

"Oh," his eyes stray towards Jisung, who's too occupied with his team to notice. He knows his next words are nothing but a digression. "He's learning quickly, it's not that hard after all."

"That's not what I meant, hyung," Felix shakes his head but keeps smiling. They hold eye contact, neither wanting to approach the topic out in the open. "Okay, let's talk about this later."

But maybe Minho wants an answer from someone else than himself, if only to deny the tension building in the core of his bones, to assure himself what he feels doesn't mean anything.

To have someone to share the burden with if he fails to keep his defences.

"What did you mean, then?" Minho presses on but Felix speeds up, bringing the girl with him as they chase after Seungmin. He stares at them longingly but doesn't chase after them.

Getting lost in the abundance of trees and greenery, counting the branches of oaks, and following their meandering shapes, he feels at ease again. It's so easy to forget that the world keeps spinning when the nature provides a peaceful hideaway.

Once they arrive at their destination, Minho loses sight of Felix - the younger is probably spinning in Seungmin's orbit by now. Instead, he focuses on collecting his own team and giving them the usual speech about safety at the lake before he signs off and sets his course to the closest shade.

He finds solace under a lone parasol, stood far enough from the water to avoid being splashed yet close enough to provide an observation point.

It's the same spot every year, waiting to be claimed by Minho and told stories, when Minho relaxes enough to voice his thoughts out loud. Sometimes, he lures in the youngest campers and instead entertains them with his words and riddles.

Most of the time, though, he's hidden away enough to not be disrupted.

And that's how he likes it, being close enough to observe yet not directly in the centre, allowing him to absorb and acknowledge, breathe in what he's too lazy to experience. The lake visit days always serve for this purpose. The one day he allows himself to be pliant.

He sometimes brings a book with him, but his thoughts usually keep him company. That's what he needs the most after a week of ordering kids around and letting himself loose, only to realise a weight has been pulling him down all along.

Ever since the first day, it's been there, growing in the pits of his stomach. No more than a seed when it set foot into Minho's life, soon growing out and adding leaves, twisting its stems until the feeling has vowed itself around Minho's heart.

He wonders if the feelings will eventually grow into a flower. They shouldn't, not without nourishing and care - but maybe he's given them some, without realising. Maybe they strive off a brilliant smile, rather than sunrays. Maybe they feed on words rather than water.

Maybe they bloom not with petals...

He squirms, blinking his eyes open when he feels his chest start to ache, a dull pain spreading through his chest like a wildfire. It's gentle enough to be overlooked, and therefore easy to shake off if he focuses elsewhere.

He doesn't like the pressure, so he brings his eyes towards the clouds, hoping to occupy himself with their shapes. His gaze falls onto the scenery around him then, seeking out the sight of his own team, then Felix and Jeongin and Seungmin - anyone who would entertain his thoughts.

He spots his best friends on the lake, Felix' bright hair giving him away from the distance. They're riding the paddle boats, two at a time. He can't actually see their faces, but he bets they are content to have a quiet moment for themselves.

Just when he thinks the distraction was enough and hopes to lie back down, an invading shadow moves into his peripheral vision. Jisung's not even close enough to hear his breath hitch, but the sudden appearance makes him scoff, blood pooling into his cheeks.

Just when he thinks he's getting a moment to rest, Jisung strolls over to where Minho is lying on the grass and requests a ride. Great, that's exactly what he wanted.

"Felix and Seungmin already claimed one together," the younger explains when he explains his request, though Minho already knows what he came for before he even opens his mouth.

Jisung makes his best effort to imitate a puppy, jutting out his lower lip and upturning his eyebrow until they're shaped like little bows- and Minho should really stop looking.

"Do you know how to ride those things?" Minho quicks an eyebrow at him, although he knows he's losing a battle against those puppy eyes.

"We learn from experience," Jisung exclaims, bending down to take a hold of Minho's wrist, then pulls with all of his strength - which is barely enough to bring Minho upright, but he doesn't budge and sits up.

"Can you at least swim?"

"Why do you already assume we will drown," Jisung assures him hurriedly, already tugging him towards the lake. "Come on, it will be fun!"

"Look I can carry a pre-schooler, but you're probably heavier than that," he pulls out the last defence, watching as it dissipates in the air before Jisung's cheeky smile and a gulped down giggle of disbelief.

"Here, you can try yourself," the younger offers, outstretching his arms in an invitation to lift him up. When Minho doesn't elaborate, he laughs again, "but anyway, no one will be swimming today."

To be honest, Minho just wants it to be over with. He doesn't want to deal with Jisung more than necessary, not until he figures out how to stop whatever he's feeling, and he came here to occupy his favourite napping spot, not to watch the younger struggle in yet another environment.

...Should he be concerned?

But he doesn't resist when Jisung pulls him towards the shore and leads him onto the quay.

They climb into the boat without any accidents but that's mostly Minho's doing, since he keeps it in place when Jisung enters. A small exchange of reassurances fleets through the boat before they get it moving, pushing it onto the lake together.

Well, Minho pushes, and Jisung clings to his waist, which totally does not spark electricity everywhere they touch, get a grip Minho.

The younger hesitantly lets go of him when Minho gives him a questioning look. "To make sure you won't fall either," he replies, squeaky.

Minho swallows his heart from where it has leaped into his throat and forces out a chuckle, reaching for the paddles with sweaty hands. "Oh come on, I'm a professional."

"A professional complainer," Jisung returns cheekily.

He seats himself in front on request, which is fortunate. Minho doesn't know if he could handle the younger looking at him. Come on, turn around already. Plus, he wants to be the one looking.

"That's not a word," he points out smugly, jabbing a finger into Jisung's shoulder.

"And yet it fits you pretty well," Jisung smirks, and finally, turns around. Thanks goodness.

"I don't complain that much," Minho whines back, belatedly realising his mistake. He can practically see the smile growing on Jisung's face before he bursts out laughing.

Jisung almost chokes on his laughter, bubbling out of his stomach freely. He doubles over, catching his breath as he fails to stop his giggles. "Are you listening to yourself?"

Minho admits defeat.

The paddling itself it easy for both of them, and other than Jisung complaining about the tension in his muscles and being out of strength, they're doing good.

He can hear the faint sound of Jisung counting strokes under his breath and sees the breeze ruffling Jisung's blonde locks. Together with the gentle rocking of the boat, and overlooking Jisung's fervent paddling, it sounds like melody to his ears.

He's glad that Jisung can't see him, too occupied by the view that opens in front of them and too scared to turn around, lest crane his neck far enough to notice that Minho is staring.

And well, Minho is, pretty shamelessly. Not that he can really see anything from this angle but having a moment with Jisung when he isn't constantly on edge just looking into his eyes again is a nice moment, even if the most he can see is Jisung unsuccessfully trying to scratch his back.

Without much thought, he reaches forward to do the favour for him - Jisung shrieks in surprise, then leans into the touch, relaxing.

Since they're not talking anymore - which means Jisung at least focuses on the paddling and doesn't fall behind, sending their boat to spin in circles - Minho lets himself admire the panorama of trees and hills rising from above the water surface.

They're the only sailing boat by now.

"Hyung, I'm dying," Jisung suddenly announces, letting go of the paddles to stretch his arms above his head. Then, he supports himself on the bench as he turns around just enough to face him, pouting, "can we take a break?"

Minho nods, widening his eyes when the younger starts clumsily turning around in his seat.

"Careful," he stresses.

"I know what I'm doing," Jisung scoffs, then adds, much softer, "don't worry."

He turns away, drowning in the sudden warmth invading his heart.

At this point, they're far enough to see the people at the shore as uncertain human blobs. Some are distinctive enough to tell apart - only because Hyunjin's height stands out anywhere, and Felix' bright hair is seen from miles away. Within the campers, he wouldn't even locate his own team, and they probably can't recognise Minho in the boat either.

They could scream all they want, and no one would hear them - they could do things, and no one would see... they could kiss, and no one would know- oh no.

Minho's mind spirals into lengths and depths he never wanted to touch, now unmistakably aware of the proximity of their knees brushing together and the plush lips that could easily be captured by his own. A gentle press, maybe a soft uncertain movement.

"We should probably paddle back, don't want them to leave us behind."

It comes out a little breathlessly, but Jisung doesn't seem to notice - the excuse works wonders, sending Jisung into a state of panic. He watches as the younger widens his eyes almost comically. "Oh, they wouldn't, right?"

He's about to laugh into his face and assure him that no, they wouldn't leave them even if they wanted to because they both need to collect their teams. Unfortunately, his words are cut off by Jisung's piercing shriek.

The swift motion of his attempt to turn around is too sudden for the boat to handle, and before either of them knows it, Jisung falls off the side and into the lake.

Minho's blood runs cold, and he swiftly leans across the side to locate Jisung who emerges from under the water surface unharmed. "Told ya I can swim!"

Minho gawks at him, too stunned to move. He should probably get him back inside, at least ask if he's okay, but his hands are glued to the side of the boat and his voice is stuck in his throat.

"Hey, it's getting quite cold here," the words fall past Jisung's trembling lips, they're already turning purple and all Minho can think about is warming them up with his own. "Give me a hand?"

Minho uselessly extends it, letting Jisung climb inside.

The tension falls as they paddle back to the shore where Minho dries him off and gives him spare clothes - "how are you carrying a full backpack and don't have spare clothes with you?" - that make Jisung look absolutely tiny despite being just a thumb shorter.

If Jisung was tiny in just his oversized shirt, he becomes miniature once he's wrapped up in one of the camp towels - they reach to the knees of even normal-sized beings. The younger doesn't make it easier on him with only his cheeks and eyes peeking out from under the fabric.

The sight makes Minho's heart ache fondly.

Jisung doesn't seem to have any other stupid plans for the day, so they lie there calmly, occasionally chirping up about mindless topics - and really, maybe nothing has changed after last night. Maybe it changed for the better.

Spending time with Jisung like this is pleasant.

Bunker Building, the most important preparation for their legendary Flag Hunt. Campers, but mostly counsellors, are looking forward to this all summer.

For this activity, it's inevitable to split up as to keep each other's Fortresses hidden. As much as Minho would love to sneak around and watch Jisung challenge the nature and his own DIY skills, he knows the rules; and it's not fun if the hideaways are revealed before the game starts.

And yet, he can't help but keep his eyes sharp when his team returns to the campgrounds, hoping to catch a glance of the blonde disaster.

He finds nothing, spare for a bird nest and a peeing camper but that's probably for the better. They'll reveal their positions eventually, and he wouldn't want to witness Jisung breaking a leg in the process of building a simple hideaway.

On further thought, that sounds like enough of a reason to have their teams unite for this one. But where's the fun in having an advantage against the rest?

He wants to win fair and square.

The flag hunt itself happens in the late afternoon, after they have all reported their stance to Seungmin who then tooted the camp horn - their prized possession - to signalise the start.

And with that, the most popular game of the week begins.

Each of them on their own place, with their own strategies, teams show excitement and eagerness to guard their own flags while their teammates try to snatch the flags of others. Whoever holds the most in their possession at the end of the game wins.

Minho's heard Jisung talking about their team strategy; with three people guarding the Fort, younger kids (and Jisung, apparently) go out into the wild to explore and hunt like a team.

Minho's strategy is much simpler than that, and reliable; the flag stays in his own pocket and where his team divides fairly into defenders and offenders, Minho runs and hides. It technically shouldn't be allowed, but he's never been caught, and Jeongin's or Seungmin's team usually ends up stealing the spotlight with the most flags, while his own keeps standing.

And okay, they have discussed the rules because of other interesting strategies last years, and they haven't explicitly said his strategy was against the rules, so he's good to go.

The point is stealing as many flags as possible and not having his own stolen. What better way is there to ensure that?

Brian would have killed him for it, probably, but Brian isn't here anymore.

He strides off from behind their own fortress as soon as the game horn sounds, gaining himself a reasonable distance outside of the clashing zone. That's where most of the players will be waiting for matches and organising attacks.

Taking the way around gives him a clear insight of what's happening, while staying in the back, safe and sound.

Jeongin's fortress is built on a tree, the flag secured between two branches of neighbouring trees. A knife would be needed to cut the ropes securing it, or at least a good skill with knots.

Felix guards his area of bushes, most likely hiding his flag in between them. Most of his team is hidden around the place, instead of running offence. A strategical mistake, in Minho's opinion.

Seungmin probably guards the pile of stones by the east side of the camp.

And Jisung... It could be anywhere. Unlike the others, he only had a few days to map out the surroundings, and he doesn't look like a technical type either, so his fort will be most likely a randomly picked out spot that looks innocent enough to overlook.

His strategy is probably too hasty to succeed, too, judging by the unhinged excitement of earlier.

Oh, the innocent smile radiating off his lips, a competitive spark decorating his eyes. That was enough to send Minho's heart into overdrive. The warm tightness echoes in his chest even now.

As much as he hoped to ignore it at first, the way his heart reacts to Jisung is hard to overlook, speeding up whenever their hands brush, melting when the phantom of Jisung's touch overtakes his senses. Spreading warmth to his core at the sound of Jisung's laughter.

So, there's no denying what he feels. It's too much, but at least isn't not too obvious, not to the certain someone, and that will have to do. Jisung has his own life outside, maybe even a girlfriend - damn, they've been rooming for almost a week now and he doesn't even know if Jisung is gay. He might have been avoiding the topic on purpose.

Even if, it doesn't mean he's gay for him. All Minho's done so far is making fun of him and helping him out of his own problems. That doesn't really make for falling in love material.

Not that it matters, who said he wants to take that route.

Maybe, maybe he does.

Take a breather.

Not long after, he's jogging off with twice the speed, aiming nowhere at all except further away from everything, until he's lost in the so familiar forest he calls home.

As he's running and hiding away in the wild, he hears a loud shriek - he considers letting it slide, but he's also responsible for the health of the campers, and the yell sounded painful.

Turning on his heel, he locates the damsel in distress quickly, setting off towards what he expects to be a sprained ankle. When he arrives at the destination, he takes a moment to spot the terrified Jisung sitting on a tree. He's clutching onto the trunk will all his might.

He calls out Minho's name hopefully. "Thanks god you're here, there was a bear."

"Bears don't live in this area, don't worry," Minho breathes out a relieved laugh. At least he doesn't seem hurt, and would he choose to fall down, Minho is there to at least cushion his fall.

He genuinely hopes that won't be happening anytime soon.

"I'm not kidding, there was something chasing me," Jisung insists.

"Well, that's the game, kids are chasing each other," he shrugs, but glances around anyway. There is a possibility of seeing deer and squirrels if you make the effort to be as quiet as possible, but that's not happening to Jisung any time soon.

"Take me seriously!"

He glances back up to the distressed squirrel. "I might, once you get down here."

"Well, that's a problem," he cries. "I'm stuck."

"You're kidding me," he deadpans. "Did you climb a tree but don't know how to get down?"

It's painfully typical of him, from everything Minho has learned about the other in the past week, and yet it doesn't fail to amaze him. Just how careless and unlucky can one person get?

"I had my parents helping me when I was a kid," he stumbles out, and he's too high for Minho to properly see the blush forming on his cheeks, but he somehow does, anyway.

"Did you never climb the trees alone?" he tries again, but he quickly shakes his head, not waiting for Jisung to answer. "Ah, you know what, forget it."

"Not as easy as it sounds, your feet are planted on the ground!"

"Okay, don't go anywhere," Minho cracks a joke, grinning like a madman when Jisung's frown deepens into a wannabe dangerous one. "I'll show you how to get down."

"Very funny," Jisung mumbles, quiet enough to only be made out as a movement of his lips - not that Minho is focusing on that particular part of his face.

He approaches the tree and picks the thick branch by the left to hook his leg over and swing himself up. Once secured, he very carefully lifts himself to his feet and balances towards the closest branch above. This one has quite the height advantage but when supported by the trunk, he climbs it just well.

"Almost there, hyung!" he bites back a smile at hearing Jisung chant from above.

Looking below, he's already high enough to be dangerous to fall, maybe two thirds of the way to Jisung. He tests the strength of the branch he's standing on, stepping a little further from the trunk to reach the next one - it happily wiggles underneath his weight.

Okay, not that one.

He's hyperaware of the younger watching, filtering out most of the very unhelpful comments Jisung yells at him. It makes him want to put more effort into what he's doing, but the more forcibly he moves, the less courage stays in his legs. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'll be right there," he assures Jisung, although he's mostly saying it to himself.

"Geez, hyung, shouldn't you just run for help?" Jisung stresses. "You'll end up hurt."

"Am I hearing that from you?" One step further and he can climb the next branch without breaking the one underneath. "You could have just run towards one of our bases."

"I- well, I was scared and wasn't thinking straight," he admits. "Not that I do that often."

"Hm, noticed," Minho answer mindlessly.

A little further and there's a finely shaped bridge towards Jisung.

Being one level away from victory, Minho can hear the way Jisung's breath hitches when he manoeuvres around the trunk. It does wonders to his heart, sending it into a distracting override but he's too close to lose.

"Hyung," Jisung extends his hand towards Minho's face, and he takes it to finally climb the last level, hooking his leg around the branch Jisung is sitting on and pulling his back against the trunk.

This took way too much energy.

Jisung looks as relieved as he is exhausted after the adrenaline dissipates, leaving him leaning against the tree and gaping at Jisung with no real thoughts running through his head except for noting and observing the stray strands of Jisung's hair.

The younger is awkwardly balancing on the branch, hands clutching it just below his legs - he looks unstable mostly due to his own shaking body, like he's ready to fall off if he doesn't shift his weight elsewhere.

Which is why Minho pulls him forward, letting him place his hands onto his chest. He also immediately regrets the idea, since Jisung is now surely aware of his heartbeat. Then again, he just exercised - not only the tree but also running miles around and avoiding campers.

Oh, the campers.

He completely forgot about the game, and the flag that fits uncomfortably against his back pocket and nudges both his thigh and butt.

It's probably fine, their teams are supposed to be doing most of the work anyway. The counsellors only play to make sure no one gets hurt (which Minho is doing at the moment) and because they want to participate for the fun of it.

"Aren't you gonna help us down?"

"Not yet," he replies easily. Looking at Jisung like this is nice, enjoying the silence and having a moment to appreciate his lips from up close, he almost leans in to kiss him - just almost, because he doesn't want Jisung to freak out and fall.

"I have an idea," he proposes, clumsily standing up to pull out the flag and wave it in front of them before reaching out as far as he can and sticking it between the upper branches.

"There, it'll be impossible to find."

"You had it in your pocket this whole time?" Jisung shrieks, fingers tightening in the front of Minho's shirt when he seats back down, wobbling a bit.

"Year after year," he confirms proudly, "no one ever finds it."

Jisung's lips downturn into a - undeniably cute - pout. "Isn't that unfair, though?"

"You get a point for each flag you keep, lose one for each flag you get stolen," he explains. The points are based on whose possession the flags reach the campfire, and the pattern of colourful marker dots on each. Once taking hold of a flag for long enough to mark it, your point counts.

An extra point goes to whichever flag that wasn't stolen even once.

That one is proudly in Minho's possession each year, although it doesn't help towards his win.

These are the rules Brian's team came up with to include more than just two teams, and Minho doesn't remember ever playing it differently. A lot of other camp games were slightly adjusted, knowing from experience when he tried playing them with classmates throughout high school.

"When will be the right time to go?" Jisung stresses. Minho looks down, and suddenly he's not so sure. "Uh, the tree is higher than it seemed form down there."

"I would know something about that," Jisung chuckles, but the sound dies down soon, replaced by a worried expression. "Are you scared now?"

"Actually, yes."

"Minho!" the younger shrieks - right in Minho's ear. "Does that mean we're stuck here?!"

"Of course not, we'll handle this," he assures Jisung, although he's not so sure himself. That's just his slight fear of heights talking, though. One call to Hyunjin should do the work.

Right, the talkie.

He carefully strips off his backpack, placing it onto his thighs between them as he rummages through the insides. Jisung unwillingly leans back, though his hand continue to grip Minho's legs.

"Han Jisung where did you leave yours?" he laments, shaking his head - he's already thinking of the many excuses Jisung will probably give him.

Did he even get a talkie from Hyunjin?

Maybe the boy is to blame, rather than Jisung. Someone's getting their mouth stuffed with toilet paper tonight - how could he not prepare Jisung properly for a day out?

(Nevermind that it's probably Felix' or his job.)

"At the base, in my backpack..." the younger mumbles, heat rising into his cheeks at the demanding tone. He scratches his nape, offering a timid smile.

"How do you think it would help you that way?" Minho laughs in disbelief.

Jisung opens and closes his mouth a few times, looking for something to shoot back, but he comes empty headed, so Minho stops paying attention to him and loads the talkie.

"Lee Know on the line, I need backup, over," he speaks into the gear, ignoring Jisung's giggles in the back. Of course, the younger has never used one.

"Jinnie here, what's the matter?" sounds from the other side. "Over."

"Stuck on a tree, maybe 300 meters from the east placebo, over," he sighs - he sounds ridiculous to his own ears, and Hyunjin is likely just as amused.

"Roger, be right there with a ladder."

So, yeah.

All they have to do now is wait until someone rescues them. Great.

Minho feels trapped; not only several feet above the ground but mostly in front of Jisung, who's clinging to him just as tightly as he clings to the tree, whose breath echoes by his ear and body heat invades his senses.

The ground under his feet is too far away, although a little more bearable with Jisung's hands clutched onto him; the sky above his head is clear, no gloomy clouds in sight, although not near as bright as Jisung's smile; and he, he is so in love with the sight in front of him.

Jisung must hear his heartbeat clearly, and yet he doesn't mind - no, his own probably beats just as fast, given the circumstances.

Then Jisung lifts his head and steadies himself, looking Minho in the eyes. He didn't realise how close they were until Jisung's nose almost brushes against his.

Jisung is... beautiful up close, why didn't he notice before?

He feels his mind shutting down, the walls of his ratio crumbling down before his eyes. He feels like throwing up, stomach squeezing in a way bordering with uncomfortable, too warm, but he also feels like screaming and hugging Jisung tightly all at the same time.

Jisung's blown eyes are looking right into his, and deeper, into his soul, searching for an anchor. His breath fans over Minho's lips, hands clutch to the front of his shirt.

It's impossible not to lean in and capture his mouth.

Just barely more than a peck, pressing his lips plush against Jisung's trembling ones. His forehead is starting to hurt from the way his brows furrow tightly in the frustration that is slowly emerging from his body. He wants the kiss so much.

Please don't push me away.

Maybe if he pushes me away, we'll end up stumbling to the ground. I wouldn't mind my last breath being poured into his mouth.

But then Jisung kisses back, gently moving his lips against Minho's, hands adjusting in the fabric of his shirt to not only hold but pull forward and then Minho's are reaching out to tenderly caress his face and Jisung lets out a soft moan.

Minho pulls back, startled, but doesn't let go, looking for any sign of discomfort. His breath hitches when he catches a glimpse of tears collecting in Jisung's eyes.

He takes a sharp breath, ready to apologise-

"T-thank you," Jisung whispers, lips spreading into a wide smile. "Thank you."

"Thank me?" he repeats dumbly.

"Hyung," he's crying now, so Minho reaches out to dry his tears. "I think I love you," he confesses in a strained voice, "is that okay?"

Minho doesn't know how to answer, his throat closing up at the many thoughts rushing around, some about Jisung, some about the perfect kiss - so he presses his lips together tightly and nods, hoping his eyes will convey everything that isn't ready to come out of his mouth yet.

Jisung understands, reaching for him to pull him into a hug.

They stay like that. It gives Minho time to think, to process, to reflect and think over and over again because he doesn't believe his own memory.

Now that the words are out in the open, it doesn't feel so difficult to put a name on the feelings.

When he feels Jisung rub his back, he squeezes tighter.

They walk back with Hyunjin, just one step behind him, both hearts beating rapidly. Jisung's hand glued to the strap of Minho's backpack for he's scared to actually reach for his hand. Minho finds it adorable, so he doesn't budge.

"Not to be rude but are you freaking serious?" Hyunjin turns around promptly, after walking in silence for long enough to clear his thoughts. "What did you think about, having a romantic moment if you cannot even get down."

Jisung bites back an embarrassed whine as he hurries to correct Hyunjin about the circumstances, falsely denying the accusation out of embarrassment, whereas Minho chooses to stay quiet.

They have touched upon that, after all. Well, kissed more than touched, but that's exactly what Hyunjin is referring to, and he doesn't know the sequence of events, but it doesn't matter enough to correct him. Hyunjin won't gain anything from knowing the truth.

Minho would benefit from not having yet another friend to tease him, on the other hand.

But Felix has already caught them bonding the previous night, so it's inevitable to face the consequences of being put into the spotlight as soon as they gather for the next meeting.

Felix greets them at the gates of the camp, relieved to see them in one piece - he sends Minho and Jisung to their cabin to rest and mentions something about taking Hyunjin for a hot cocoa. Minho's stomach grumbles at the idea but he follows closely after Jisung anyway.

They catch up to each other and enter their cabin, one after the other. Minho holds the door open for Jisung, who rewards him with a heart-shaped smile. The younger is a little nervous, judging by the rubbing of his forearms and his teeth looking a little strained as he smiles.

He looks ready to speak up, probably to discuss what happened earlier... but Minho isn't.

Not yet, at least not verbally.

So instead, as the younger opens his mouth to speak, Minho pulls him close. That's much easier, holding onto his tiny frame and listening to his heartbeat, which almost matches his own thumping if he listens closely. Just absorbing his presence and feeling the younger hug back.

It's not necessarily what he's been waiting for, but when Jisung's arms rest around his shoulders, nose pressed into his neck and his breathing steady, it feels like a sign.

That maybe, just maybe, it is time.

Carefully, voice trembling, he mouths the words into Jisung's neck. He feels Jisung freeze underneath him, then melt into his touch. "I like you so much, I can't help it."

"Why would you?" Jisung giggles. "Hyung, I'm so happy."

"Me too."

Minho kisses his neck once, then twice. The smell of Jisung is comforting, invading his senses, and almost lulling him to sleep. Everything around them smells like Jisung now, and it feels so good he's almost dizzy. Why didn't he notice sooner?

He nuzzles his nose into Jisung's hair. He feels ridiculous - he remembers his first encounters with nature, where he would roll around in the dirt and smell the fresh grass and feel at ease.

Jisung is everything but one with nature, but the feelings are the same.

He, too, feels like home.

The counsellors huddle for warmth on one side of the clearing while campers gather around the campfire in groups of friends rather than their teams. Seungmin and Jeongin walk around to give out marshmallows and sausages and the kids chatter about roasting techniques and challenge each other for sparring behind Jeongin's back.

With everyone seated and enjoying their food or waiting for their round to come to the front, Felix and Jisung begin their performances. They have made up an adventurous story to accompany the night game legend - they must have come up with it on their way to the camp.

The kids are on the edge of their seats when they listen to the duo roleplay for characters and the monster, Felix' deep voice having a pleasant effect on the mood.

Jisung isn't doing bad, either, keeping the atmosphere alive with plot twists and witty answers to the tricky questions he receives from both the smug teenage kids and Minho who just enjoys seeing Jisung work his brain to give him a plausible answer and not lose the kids' attention.

Even as the story comes to an end, Jisung keeps the attention on himself. Felix pulls out a guitar from behind them - has it always been there? - and passes it towards the blonde.

"This is why you dragged him along, right?" Minho turns to Felix, half in admiration and half in amusement. "Because my guitar skills suck."

"Brian is not here with us anymore, I figured we could revive this tradition?" the younger shrugs, leaning back onto his hands to give Minho a better view of Jisung's profile.

With the campfire illuminating his face, the golden tint of his skin stands out against the dull sky. His cheeky smile reflects on Minho's face as the older listens to him softly hum along with the guitar. The sweet sound fills him with honey warmth.

"Wait, did you actually know?" Jeongin mixes in, just as impressed.

"Not at all," Felix laughs in response, "but he's good!"

Minho doesn't register the last song has ended until Jisung's eyes lock with his. The smile on Jisung's face grows brighter, and he stands up to stride towards Minho's place. Felix switches seats with a knowing smile - and then Jisung is seating himself next to Minho, arms wrapping around his middle and head coming to rest on his shoulder.

Minho feels his own cheeks flush at the sudden affection, but he eventually leans into Jisung, finding his waist to hold onto as his other hand cards through his hair.

It's even softer than he remembers it to be.

The following day hits different. Quite literally, as Jisung's clumsiness seems to be contagious - Minho stubs his finger into the doorframe and falls onto his face in front of their cabin when Jisung bumps into him from behind, bringing them both to the ground.

The younger laughs it off, seemingly used to such, and offers Minho an apology while he cradles him to his feet. "I'm sorry hyung, I'll be more careful."

"You ought to," he grumbles but reaches out to ruffle his head anyway.

When he's looking at Jisung, the younger appears softer than yesterday - something has shifted on the tree, and that's obvious enough, but it only established at the campfire, and now it refuses to leave Minho's heart for even a second.

It's easier to focus on the activities than keep thinking about the effect Jisung has on his heart, and so he gives his all into cheering his team when they compete for the last points. Having scored second on the flag hunt, their place on the scoreboard is secured, but even among the five top teams, he's eager to win the crown.

Because the kids are happy to get the prizes, and because he bets on the winner with Felix on some years. Then also for the priceless feeling of triumph. But most importantly, the edibles.

They're mostly snacks hand-picked by Felix (and Jisung, this year) and Felix has the best taste when it comes to food. Additionally, it feels thrilling to compete for something that counts as Jisung's - even if it's just his favourite pack of gummies they might share later.

The younger seems to be just as encouraged to keep the competition burning, although Minho knows he has nothing to compete for. The top 3 teams earn prizes, and with the spacious gap in points between their teams, Minho can expertly guess that Jisung won't be getting any treats from his own achievements.

The more of a reason to share.

Later that evening, the team scores are evaluated and Jisung doesn't even get onto the scoreboard with the top 3, unlike Minho, Jeongin and Felix, whose teams have aced flag hunt, treasure hunt and most individual activities, respectively.

Felix always scores for that particular reason, cheering him team and helping them out instead of just watching them fail with an amused smile and giving them advice later.

Jisung takes the results with a stoic expression, soothing his team when the announcement triggers a wave of whining and dissatisfaction. Unlike the first days, he does a good job at calming them down - maybe he's not a natural talent like Felix, but he is charming even to the kids.

Minho still teases him and laughs into his face since they're sitting next to each other once he's seated down with the snacks on their table, but Jisung just rolls his eyes. "Whatever, but you know it wasn't your score? It's the kids who should be smug, not you."

Oh, a good point - but not enough to stop him.

"We can't teach the kids to be smug about a victory, but I can be all I want," Minho giggles. "Besides, it only annoys you because you like me."

"That doesn't make much sense to me, hyung," Jisung laughs, but his cheeks light up at his words. His finger is quickly swatted away when he prods at the pink dusted cheeks. "And you're not right, I did not lose."

"Sorry to break it to you, but you very clearly had."

At this, Jisung leans closer, breath ghosting over his ear before he whispers: "I won you over, so who's the real winner?"

A shiver runs down Minho's spine.

He leans away, laughing, and he hopes it's enough to cover for the hammering heart in his chest. "Too bad, Jisung, that one is a tie."

The week is always too short and before they know it, everyone is packing their things and reviewing any harm done to the camp. The kids have left the previous day around noon, and they worked their butts off to return the campground to its tidy version.

They ended up huddled in the main clubroom, playing various games, and entertaining each other with stories and performances they would have been too embarrassed to perform in front of the kids. Like this, with just the team around, it's fun.

But everything has to come to an end, and the night does too.

What they're faced with now is the harsh morning.

At least Minho got to witness Jisung falling asleep tonight and dared to request a good night kiss that the younger gladly provided after a shorter flustered back and forth.

Now that he's thinking about it, standing above their suitcases and bags, checking everything off the list, he kind of wants another one. That's the thought that prompts him to look up at Jisung who is resting on his bed, staring at Minho wordlessly.

"A worm in your head?" he asks softly, waving a hand in front of his face.

"I'm just reflecting," Jisung answers, sounding fond. Minho sits down beside him, slipping one arm around his waist, waiting for Jisung's reaction. The younger leans into his side. "Whatever I expected of this, I gained so much more."

"A boyfriend, for one," Minho supplies, humming into Jisung's hair.

"That, yeah," Jisung agrees, giggling sheepishly. "And much more, even experience if we're bold enough to call it that."

Minho thinks back on the previous week, wondering about the answer. If anything, it's Minho who gained experience with getting Jisung out of troubles and learning about all the unexpected situations one can get themselves into if they're not careful.

"No, we definitely aren't," Minho laughs. "You'll have to spend more than a week in a camp to claim any experience with nature."

"I dare to say that's more than enough," Jisung argues back. "I bet I would have earned myself at least 3 badges."

And once again, Jisung proves to not know how things roll. They're not an official scout camp, not yet at least, and so they don't give out badges. But the thought of Jisung in a scout uniform and a sash full of shiny badges brings warmth to his chest.

He did look cute in his clothes before, maybe Minho's old uniform would fit.

He returns his attention to Jisung's face, and realises the younger is beaming at him. He's waiting for an approval, yes, you would look absolutely adorable that way.

As if.

Minho doesn't answer, trailing kisses from his temple to his chin. "Did you find what you were looking for?"

"Hm?"

"Good memories," he prompts, recalling their first conversation. Jisung seemed determined enough to enjoy the camp, and surprisingly, it has gone through better than either of them expected, if the satisfied look that crosses his features is anything to go by.

"Oh," Jisung nods, eyes trailing towards Minho's hand that's idly resting by his side before he reaches forward to intertwine their fingers. "Yeah, definitely."

"Then it was worth it," he concludes.

"Of course it was," Jisung agrees, delighted. "I mean, I don't think I've spent a day without my phone ever in my life, and getting a boyfriend isn't something that happens every day either."

"I do hope not," Minho stresses, then breaks out into laughter when Jisung stabs him in the ribs with their linked hands. "Why are you so cute?"

"Is that all you think about me?"

"No, surely not," Minho shakes his head. "But it's the most prominent thing."

"Hey," the younger huffs in annoyance. His cheeks puff out adorably. "Actually- this will sound weird, but what did you think of me the first day? A first impression. Was I cute?"

"Hm, we could say that," Minho agrees hesitantly. He was most definitely a klutz, but he might have called him cute, even then. "What about me?"

"You were too handsome for your own good," he admits, "but eventually, I realised you're just a nerd." Minho throws him a dirty look, startling a laugh out of him. "Which is who I ended up falling in love with, right?"

That sounds way too direct and honest, for such a nonchalant comment. It makes Minho's heart tighten. "Right," he nods along.

"...that's not weird, right?" Jisung blushes.

"No," Minho replies, allowing himself to smile fondly at the younger as he lifts one hand to caress his cheek. "I have no right to judge, I fell in love with a dummy."

# data[].attributes.attachment_link.title
The ground under my feet, the clouds above my head - Anchan (Anchan_thevolleyballplayer) - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Minho doesn't stop paying attention to the younger when they wake up, subconsciously finding his eyes plastered to the younger's back when he's not looking. The warmth of Jisung's palm and his body pressed into Minho's side echo through his body.

# data[].attributes.body
So well-writen

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Chapter Text

Minho is naturally impulsive.

He's gotten better at controlling it. In the sprawling woods of the multiverse, there's now only a slim chance he'll take the road that leads to shit hitting the fan, an improvement from when he was younger. Working in a coffee shop tests his limits, though.

Minho doesn't like coffee- he can't have caffeine - and he doesn't like people. But he needs the money. So here he is, in the world's scratchiest outfit, trying not to outwardly judge people on their purchases. It's been two months and he hasn't gotten fired, which means that something will go wrong any day now.

That day is today.

It's break and Minho crouches awkwardly in the bushes outside of the store, dialing Woojin. The call rings three times before going through. "Hello?" Woojin says, after a second of silence. "What's up?"

Minho takes a deep breath. Woojin will know what to do. Woojin has common sense. He knows how to do functional, adult things like make kimchi and write a resume and wake up on time in the morning. Most importantly, Woojin is taken, so he'll know what to do in this situation.

"Hypothetically," Minho says, "What do you do if you accidentally acquire a boyfriend?"

There's a small cough on the other end of the line, then a snort, and then full-blown, staticky laughter. Right. Before Woojin is a sensible human being, he's Minho's best friend since middle school, and likes to laugh at Minho's problems.

"It's hypothetical," Minho says.

"No, it's absolutely not," Woojin says. "Who's the boyfriend? What happened? Please tell me everything, this is hilarious."

"I don't know his name yet," Minho says. "And I also don't know what happened."

"Wow," Woojin says, growing concerned. "Okay, what the fuck, then? Can you get yourself out of this situation? Is it like a blackmail kind of thing?"

No, it's a me being stupid kind of thing . "No, I'm fine," Minho says. "I mean, I guess we're not technically dating yet. It's more like I swiped right on him but like, in real life. And in public."

"I don't think I understand you." Woojin pauses. "I mean, I don't understand you even more so than usual."

Minho is probably being vague on purpose, because he's embarrassed, and because he likes to mess with people. Unfortunately, he needs advice, his break is running out, and he thinks he might be allergic to the flowers on the bush, so he makes it fast.

---

Rewind an hour prior:

Minho is behind the counter, taking orders and misspelling names. Since it's a university, the coffee shop is fairly full, with a constant background noise of people talking.

Then, out of nowhere, the talking stops, and the thing happens, one of those moments where everybody just collectively decides to fall silent, but one unfortunate soul doesn't get the memo. In specific, a guy with brown hair and a blue t-shirt sighs into the dead quiet, "Dammit, somebody date me."

There's a second where the guy doesn't realize anything is wrong, but then his expression freezes, and he shrinks down in his seat. Minho is amused, embarrassed on his behalf, all normal reactions. And then the impulse kicks in, the urge to pick the most idiotic and unconventional choice just because he can.

"Okay," Minho replies, and everybody in the room looks at him. "I will."

Minho doesn't get to see the guy's reaction. He hears a few giggles but ignores them, straightening out his uniform and taking the next order.

Strange things happen all the time in university, and this incident isn't even one of the more interesting ones, so after a minute, everything goes back to normal. Well, normal for everyone else. Minho's internally cursing himself out. But on the outside, he keeps a poker face.

After awhile, the line dwindles, and the guy responsible for the whole thing darts over to the counter, face red. Minho sees a few people looking at them.

"Hey," Minho says. "Can I take your order?"

The guy turns even redder. "Um," he says. "Did you mean it?"

Minho decides not to ask for elaboration because while that would be amusing, he thinks it might cause the guy to combust. "Did you mean it?"

The bell jingles, and Minho cuts the guy off before he can say anything. "Look, let's talk after my shift. I get off at five. We can meet at the tapioca statue on the quad."

The other nods, and turns away.

---

At this point in the story, Woojin has lost all concern and is now openly laughing at Minho's misfortune. "I hope someone got that on their Snapchat, I'll check people's stories tonight," Woojin says. What an asshole. "So what happened after that?"

"Maybe I should talk to Chan," Minho says. "Chan would help me out."

"You better not, Chan is sleeping, and if you wake him I'll kill you." That's fair, since Chan never sleeps. "You're stuck with me."

"As I have been for the past ten years of my life. You're no help."

Woojin hums, immune to Minho's causticity. "So, was he cute?"

"That's really the question you're gonna ask," Minho says. "Really?"

"Listen, you do weird shit, but there's usually rationale behind said weird shit," Woojin says. Minho doesn't respond. "Alright then. You found him cute."

Yes and no. Objectively, the guy is cute, with his soft face and his innocent demeanor, but Minho doesn't go for cute. "There's nothing cute about being unable to take social cues."

Woojin sighs. "Minho, real talk, you've never had a problem with saying no. I don't get why you even called me. So when you meet up on the quad, you can just tell the guy sorry, you were playing a joke."

It would be a mean thing to do. But...

"Unless you want to do it," Woojin says. "You wanna date him?"

Minho stands up. Sneezes. "My break's over, I gotta go," he says. "I'll tell him I didn't mean it."

---

Minho doesn't have the best track record with dating.

Freshman year, he had two and a half relationships. There was Younghoon, which lasted two weeks; Younghoon was boyfriend material, and Minho wasn't going to let Younghoon waste it on him. And there was Chanhee, which lasted equally as long; Minho dumped Chanhee because he lost interest, and because Chanhee majored in math.

The half relationship was Changmin from dance class. The two of them were neck-and-neck, and Minho liked the competition. The two of them became friends, one kind of dance became another dance, and long story short, Minho caught feelings for his friends-with-benefits.

Changmin was the one who cut it off. "I don't think I'm what you're looking for."

"Right, because you know me so well."

Changmin smiled, dimples showing. "You're not what I'm looking for, then."

It was a bruise to his pride, and Minho didn't date after that. The rest of freshman year, he did one-night stands, which were easier. Later he heard that Younghoon and Chanhee got together- apparently, they'd bonded over how terrible Minho was at keeping a relationship going. So if one thinks about it, something good came out of his inability to date. Minho catalyzed true love or some shit like that.

He should put that on a resume.

---

The tapioca statue is actually a large bronze sphere set on a pedestal, surrounded by benches, but everybody on this goddamn campus (sans Minho) seems to be obsessed with bubble tea, hence the namesake. One day Minho is going to sit on the tapioca statue. He is. Even though there's a rumor that those who sit on the tapioca statue don't graduate and will have their smoothie orders messed up for the rest of their lives.

By the time Minho's clocked out and headed toward the quad, the boy who's the root of the problem is already there, sitting on one of the stone benches and fidgeting with his rings, looking nervous as hell.

"Hi," Minho says.

"Hey," the boy says, rapidly standing up. "Uh- yeah. Hi. I'm Han Jisung. Sorry about... all that."

Minho shrugs it off. He got a slightly flustered reprimand from his manager, being told not to do something like that again, but Minho thinks that this warning is unwarranted as this is (hopefully) a one-time thing.

"Lee Minho. And it's fine."

"Changbin's roommate?" Jisung says, and Minho nods, surprised. "Oh, I thought you looked familiar!"

Minho narrows his eyes, trying to place where Jisung is from, then gives up. "You don't look familiar to me."

At this, Jisung looks slightly offended.

"Anyway," Minho says, "at least you didn't ask out a complete stranger, I guess."

Jisung seems taken aback for a second, but then he cracks a grin and laughs. "I didn't ask you out in specific, you just took the offer," he retorts. "Which, back to my original question. Were you being serious?"

This is the part where Minho should say no.

"Hey, no pressure," Jisung reassures. "You're allowed to back out."

Okay.

Jisung doesn't know him well enough yet for the phrasing to be anything more than an accident, but it's almost like a challenge. Back out . Like Minho's been given a dare and has to follow through.

Looking back, Minho realizes perhaps he needs to improve his decision making skills.

"Whoa, what do you mean," Minho says. Somewhere in the back of his head, Woojin demands, what are you doing? "I just need to know if you were being serious. People talk shit all the time."

"I wasn't talking shit! I really- I just said it at a bad time."

Minho smiles. "So you really wanted somebody to date you?"

"Yes. Well, no? Look, the friend I was at the shop with, Seungmin, runs an Instagram account where he takes a lot of pictures of his roommate. They aren't dating but they're really cute, and I was like, I want something like that. It's just the whole cafe decided to fall silent when I said it, and you decided to be a wild card." Jisung scuffs his shoe along the dirt. "So here we are now."

"I suck at taking pictures of people."

"That's fine. If I wanted that, I'd date Seungmin. And then I'd die, because that's what would come out of dating Seungmin."

Minho coughs into his fist, trying to stifle his laughter. "I suck at dating, too."

Jisung looks at him, like, clearly this is the bigger problem. "Wait, so why'd you agree?"

"Same reason you said it. Spur of the moment kind of thing. But offer stands. So. You wanna do it?"

Minho doesn't recall exactly how they got to this point, which signifies that this is a bad idea. But, Minho reasons to himself, he isn't chicken. He isn't scared of dating. Besides, Jisung seems like an okay person, and judging by Minho's dating history, the whole thing will go nowhere anyway. At least Minho will have a story to tell.

Jisung crosses his arms. "Okay, yeah," he says. "Let's do it."

Minho smirks.

"Okay."

"Alright. Then, um..." Jisung looks lost, the confidence he previously had nowhere to be found. "How do we do it? Here- let's exchange phone numbers. Yeah?"

Minho fishes his phone out, opening up the contact page and handing it over. Jisung does the same. Minho gets his phone back with a new contact, Han Jisung, with a blue heart where a space should be.

"What's with the heart emoji?"

"Because we're going out," Jisung says, shoving his hands in his pockets. "So there's a heart emoji. You wanna remove it?"

"No, I'll keep it."

He doesn't see the point of having a having a heart emoji, wouldn't add it himself, since it isn't like Minho's going to forget who his boyfriend is. Well, boyfriend isn't the right word. That label doesn't fit when they've barely started talking.

They're just going out, and it isn't going to last. But the blue is pretty, so the heart stays.

"I really am bad at dating," Minho says, feeling like he needs to spell out the terms and conditions. "So break up with me anytime you want."

"Noted," Jisung says. "And I have no idea how to date, so you can break up with me any time you want, too."

The way Jisung says it, Minho suddenly wonders if this is the first time Jisung's dated anybody, which is a terrible possibility so Minho pushes it away. "Okay," he agrees. He catches the time on his phone and realizes that he's late for dance practice- they've been talking for that long? "I have to go now, but I'll see you around."

"Bye," Jisung says, and Minho starts running across the quad in hopes of shortening the length of the lecture his dance instructor will give, and the amount of time he can spend contemplating his bad life decisions.

---

His dance instructor doesn't yell at him.

No, but his roommate does. Minho's surprised to come back to an apartment with Changbin standing at the doorway, looking like he's about to punch Minho in all of his five foot, six inch glory. Minho wonders what there is to be mad about. Out of the two of them, it's Changbin who usually doesn't fulfill roommate duties.

"What the fuck?" Changbin says, as soon as Minho gets through the door.

"Good evening to you, too," Minho says.

"No, shut up. Han Jisung just texted me saying he's dating you. Explain."

Oh, that's what this is about. "I mean, there's not much to explain. That's it. Good job."

"Do you even know Jisung?" Changbin sputters. "You've never even looked at him whenever he came around."

Suddenly, Minho knows who Jisung is- kind of. Changbin is part of this group called 3RACHA. They have an account on SoundCloud, but Minho has never looked into it too much. He knows Changbin goes by SpearB, and assumes that the internet identity is one separate from real life. Minho is more than willing to accept that. God knows he'll never show Changbin his old dance covers on YouTube.

"You two make music together," Minho says. "He's J.One."

"I'm pretty sure you just realized that," Changbin says. "What- how'd you two even end up dating? You're- you."

"Yeah. I'm me. It isn't that big of a deal."

"It kind of is, he's my best friend ," Changbin says, and Minho realizes that all the anger in his voice is real. "You- you better be serious, okay? Don't mess it up. He's never dated anyone before and if he's going out with you he must be serious."

That stops Minho in his tracks. His suspicion about Jisung never dating anyone before was correct, then.

"I'm sorry," Minho says. "But you're wrong. He isn't serious, he's trying it out as much as I am."

Changbin stares at him. "You're kidding."

"I'm not."

Minho has nothing else to say about it, but guilt tangles in his stomach, a foreign, uncomfortable feeling. Jisung's picked a terrible person to be his first- Minho can only disappoint.

"You know, Minho, sometimes you really piss me off," Changbin says, the energy out of his voice.

"I do know, and you piss me off too."

Changbin turns around, putting his headphones on in the process. Conversation over, even if it looked like Changbin had more to say. Minho heads over to his bed, pulling out his phone. He's all tired and sweaty from dance practice, but doesn't have enough motivation to get into the shower just yet.

There's a new text from Jeongin, brother and bane of his existence. MINHO, WAS THAT YOU IN BOMIN'S SNAPCHAT STORY??

Minho presses call. "Hello?" Jeongin says.

"Jeongin, I have no idea who Bomin is." Although Minho does have an idea of why he might be in Bomin's story. "You'll have to be more specific."

"Are you the somebody date me, okay, I will guy?"

He's been memed.

Minho grits his teeth and smiles, even though Jeongin isn't there to see it. "Yes, I am."

"Oh god. Why are you so weird?"

"Well, we know it isn't genetic. So just try not to follow my example." Minho knows that Jeongin would never pull shit like this- first of all, Jeongin is a good kid, and second of all, Jeongin likes someone. He refuses to talk to Minho about it, though.

"Is it Jisung you're going out with?" Jeongin asks. "Bomin's story was kind of blurry."

"Who is Bomin? I'll kill him."

"He's our grade's golden child, I'd suggest you leave him alone. Anyway, it's not his fault he's good with a camera. So. Is it Jisung? Both Felix and I thought it was Jisung."

Minho rubs his temples. "How do you know him?"

"He's Felix's classmate, he's really nice. Wait, I gotta tell Felix this, he'll lose his mind." There's some shuffling, then the flood of background noise.

"Have you done your homework, Jeongin?"

There's silence on the other end of the line. "I gotta go." The call clicks off.

Minho heats up some leftover rice before taking a shower. As Minho aggressively scrubs his body with strawberry soap, he wonders how he hasn't run into Jisung before, since their social circles are so interconnected.

There's a simple answer to that, and that is that Minho isn't a good friend. He knows a lot of people, but his social life is an inch deep and a mile wide. Minho and Changbin are roommates, and they're good at being roommates, and Minho likes Changbin well enough, but that's it.

When he's out of the shower, he hesitates for a second before sending a text off. hey han blue heart emoji jisung, changbin just talked to me

Three bubbles. did he freak out? im sorry if he did he probably did

Minho smiles despite himself. yeah i live with him he's yelled at me worse when i tied all his clothing into bundles , he writes. And then, finally feeling the prick of a usually silent conscious, he adds, he said im the first person youve dated.

Jisung types for a long time. does that make you uncomfortable?

if youre big on first loves or whatever, then we can pretend this whole thing never happened.

my first love was the girl in fourth grade who was the best singer in our choir . look my friend told me that im listening to too many love songs, firsts arent a big deal, i should just put myself out there. so im not expecting anything.

Jisung's words are reassuring, but not enough. Minho is still regretful of his decision. He puts his phone aside and decides that he'll try this out for two weeks, really try, even if he doesn't see things going anywhere. He always gets tired by two weeks, or Jisung will be tired of him before that. It's fifty-fifty who breaks up with whom.

Minho doesn't know much about romance, but he can read between the lines to tell that Jisung's abandoning an idealistic viewpoint for a cynical one. And Minho can't say that's a bad thing, as he's been a cynic all his life. So all he can do is send a mental apology to Changbin for when he inevitably proves Jisung right, that real life is nothing like the love songs.

---

Minho updates Woojin on the development when asked and then changes the subject. Surprisingly (and perhaps suspiciously) Woojin doesn't pry, lets Minho talk about the five year old kids that escaped the education building the other day and how he can't believe that Jeongin wants to teach these little gremlins when he gets older.

After Minho has exhausted his spiel and succumbed to the logic that he was, once upon a time, such a gremlin, he lets Woojin know that the chicken place that borders the cafe Minho works at is having a raffle, then hangs up.

He never mentions Jisung by name.

Minho has free time so he starts making dumplings for the next month. Contrary to appearance, Minho can cook without burning the kitchen down. Dumplings are his specialty, the bundles of the food world, and Minho's cutting chives when someone pokes their head into the communal kitchen to tell him to stop making so much noise. Minho smiles and angles the knife, and he's left alone.

Two hours later he's done. He partitions off a quarter of the dumplings to hand over to Jeongin, heading across campus toward Jeongin's complex.

"Hey," Minho says, when Jeongin opens the door. He hands over the bag. "Dumplings. Store these in the freezer and boil them for ten minutes when you want to eat them."

Jeongin's eyes light up. "Thank you so much."

"Yeah, yeah. Mom would kill me if I let you die from eating too much instant food and takeout."

"Wear pink at my funeral." Jeongin yells over his shoulder, "Hey, Beomgyu, dinner is solved for Thursday!"

"Awesome!" his roommate yells back.

Jeongin turns his attention back to Minho. "So. How's it going?"

"It's going."

"I mean with your boyfriend."

"I bring you dumplings," Minho says, disbelieving, "My homemade dumplings, and this is how you repay me? Really? Get a new set of DNA, I no longer claim we're related. Wait, keep the DNA and give me my dumplings back-"

"No." Jeongin hugs the dumplings close to his chest. "Mom video-called yesterday, and asked how you're doing. And if you're dating anyone. I told her I don't know. That's why I'm asking you."

"Oh, okay," Minho says. "Uh- for the time being, if she asks you again, say I'm single."

"You guys broke up already? Damn, Felix will be disappointed."

"What's Felix have to do with any of this?" Minho mutters. But when Jeongin is involved, so is Felix- the two of them have been friends since middle school, and it doesn't look like that will change anytime soon. "And no, we're not broken up. Yet. Point is, please do not involve our mom."

"Got it," Jeongin says.

"I'm going to go, then," Minho says. "Don't die while I'm gone."

"Again. Wear pink at my funeral."

It's been six days since the start of his and Jisung's so-called relationship. It hasn't been nearly as weird as Minho expected. Jisung is no longer embarrassed by the coffee shop incident, has already decomposed it into joke material to work into their conversations.

Texting Jisung is fun, even if Jisung uses too many emojis. It's a lot better than texting Changbin, that's for sure- Jisung actually responds. The two of them have only been communicating by text so far. They tried to set up a time for a date and miserably failed.

---

Two days ago:

how do the male leads in dramas do it, Jisung sends. theyre ceos so i get the money part but? where do they get the time? we're broke AND busy

drama logic, don't question it too much , Minho texts back. He doesn't watch rom-coms for that reason; he always questions the logic too much. Along with the whole true love aspect.

you could fit the male lead role. all you need to do is acquire a small conglomerate and an angsty backstory.

changbin ate the last oreo yesterday, how's that for a backstory. Minho's smiling so wide at this point that Changbin asks what's up. small conglomerate part might be a bit harder.

im sure you can do it

sounds like a lot of trouble just to take you on a date .

yeah, save your money for tuition , Jisung replies, and Minho is struck by how funny the other is. He's underestimated Jisung's sense of humor.

---

Back to the present, Minho realizes that it's almost been a week. Jisung has probably already realized that Minho sucks as a boyfriend already, right? Hopefully they'll end up friends after this, because Jisung's fun to be around, but if they don't, that's fine too. Subconsciously, Minho knows this won't turn out right.

His phone buzzes. im about to head to your cafe to study with seungmin . you wanna come?

Your cafe . Jisung makes it sound like Minho owns it. Minho kind of likes that. okay .

Jisung and Seungmin are sitting at a table near the corner, and as Minho approaches them, he hears Seungmin say, "Don't accidentally get a boyfriend today, I nearly died of secondhand embarrassment last time."

"Won't happen again," Jisung says coolly. "Anyway, I'm not even sure if Minho-"

Minho doesn't get to hear what comes next, because Jisung spots him and says, a little too quickly, "Oh, hey, Minho! Over here!"

"Speak of the devil and he shall appear," Seungmin mutters, too loud for it to be accidental.

Seungmin has the kind of gaze that makes Minho feel like he's being mind-read, which is a terrible feeling, but he doesn't look away. It doesn't matter what Seungmin's opinion of him, or this entire situation, is.

Minho focuses on Jisung's coffee mug instead. "I have employee discounts that I never use. You can use those when you order next time."

"Oh, um, thank you," Jisung says.

He turns to Seungmin. "That's Minho. And Minho, this is Seungmin."

"Hi," Seungmin says, cutting a glance at the coffee mug so sharp Minho's surprised the porcelain doesn't crack into pieces.

"Hi," Minho says. "Jisung told me about you. You're a good photographer, apparently?"

Seungmin raises his eyebrows, unimpressed. "Yeah."

Jisung nudges Minho's arm, clearly desperate to cut the tension. "I'll show you Seungmin's Instagram! I told you about it but forgot to link it to you." He taps on Instagram and types Seungmin's username into the search bar.

"Why are our study sessions never actual study sessions?" Seungmin asks, opening his notebook. Minho ignores him, looking at Jisung's phone. Seungmin's page has a hefty amount of followers- Jisung's right; he is a good photographer.

"Oh," Minho says, scrolling through the pictures. "You're Hyunjin's roommate. I have dance with him. He talks about you a lot." Minho shouldn't be surprised. He's already connected to Jisung through so many social links. What's one more?

"Hyunjin does?" Seungmin says, then clicks his mechanical pencil several times like it's personally offended him. "Wait, Jisung, put your phone away, you told me you wanted to not procrastinate."

"That's always before I have Two Dots opened," Jisung whines, but obligingly puts his phone away before getting out a folder that looks half-beaten to death.

His pencil has barely grazed the paper before his head drops to the table.

"Dammit, I can't believe I took Astronomy," he sighs. "I'm so stupid."

"You are," Seungmin agrees pliably. "You could've just taken physics with me."

Jisung crosses his arms. "How was I supposed to know Astronomy would involve more physics than actual physics? I thought it was just supposed to be about, like, stars and shit."

Minho stifles a laugh. He knows plenty of people that took Astronomy in hopes of getting a science requisite over quick and easy; Minho is fortunately not one of them. He likes space, but Astronomy involves more cold, hard formulas than any of the magic embodied in the documentaries he watches when he has spare time. But-

"I'm pretty good at physics," Minho says. "I could try to help you?"

"Don't bother," Seungmin says. "Jisung's been complaining about Astronomy for the past two months, but he always gets As on his tests. He learns really fast. Honestly, I hate people like that. I really do."

"And yet you love me," Jisung says, looking up from his worksheet.

"I assure you. I don't."

This statement is undercut half an hour later when Jisung leaves to go to the bathroom, claiming that he needs a break or he'll die. Minho feels Seungmin's gaze burning holes into the back of his head.

"So," Seungmin says. "You're really his boyfriend?"

Minho nods.

"Mm. You don't seem to be in a position to break his heart, so I don't have to threaten you too much."

Seungmin's words are well thought-out. Minho respects that and is glad for the confirmation that Jisung doesn't like Minho enough for a breakup to hurt. Throughout the entire study session, Minho and Jisung have only acted like friends- really, Jisung still seems slightly shy around Minho, in comparison to his ease around Seungmin.

"But because there's a chance," Seungmin says. "Remember I'm Jisung's friend. I'm not on your side."

"Noted."

After the hour passes, Minho walks Jisung back to his dorm. Jisung complains about math and rips on Seungmin for his bullet journaling and color coded notes, and Minho thinks, no, he's really in no danger of breaking Jisung's heart. There's no discomfort, no pressure. Jisung asks nothing of him. Minho likes that more than he want to admit.

---

Minho is at the Main Hall at seven in the morning, legs crossed as he types up a paper that he has zero energy to write. He follows a strict sleep schedule, sleeping and waking early. It isn't something he likes, or prefers, but one needs to make compromises when they're on meds that react badly to alcohol and caffeine.

At this time of the day, he's on his own. Changbin is dead to the world. Chan is a zombie without coffee. Woojin is up, but he exercises first thing in the morning. Minho can't do that; it's too close to an actual healthy lifestyle, and also, he isn't sure his self-esteem would survive a workout with Woojin.

He doesn't mind the Main Hall, though. He gets to be alone without being lonely.

"Hey," he hears, and looks up. It's Jisung, rubbing sleep out of his eyes and holding a thermos in his right hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Writing a paper," Minho says. "What are you doing here?"

"I mean, I wish I wasn't here, it's too early to be alive." Jisung plops down in a nearby seat. Minho shuts his laptop, sensing he won't be getting any work done. "But I have morning classes Monday and Thursday because I signed up for the wrong slot, so here I am. I'm an idiot."

"I've never seen you around here before."

"That's because I've never been here. But I stayed up until six last night- well, this morning, I guess. I figured there's no use to sleep for an hour. So I came here." Jisung doesn't look tired enough to match his words, but some people are just lucky like that.

"You're gonna crash later in the day."

Jisung points to his thermos of coffee. "I'm hoping this will put the crash off until after the lecture," he says, and Minho laughs. "Enough about my bad life choices. What are you doing here so early?"

"I'm always here at this time."

"What the fuck," Jisung says. "You're that kind of person?"

"What, the functional kind? Absolutely not," Minho says, and is amused when Jisung seems genuinely placated by his words. Jisung sets his bag between his legs and pulls out a plastic container with bread.

"Hey, there's free packets of butter and jam here, if you want any," Minho says.

Jisung groans. "No, I have to eat this plain. We're doing this assignment where we have to reduce our ecological footprints, and one-time use plastics are-"

Minho gets up, getting two packets of butter and jam and ripping them open at the table. "Oops," he says. "Guess you're just gonna have to eat bread with actual flavor now."

Jisung smiles a bit, shakes his head. "Shh, this never happened," he says, and reaches for the jam.

"Are you an environmental science major?"

Minho realizes that he actually doesn't know what Jisung's majoring in. The two of them don't run out of things to talk about over text, but they're never concrete subjects. Minho feels like they're talking about everything when they're messaging, but after he shuts his phone off he cannot remember for the life of him what any of it was about.

"Environmental studies, but I'm kind of a fake since my real love is music." Jisung pauses, narrowing his eyes. "Although, I will fight anyone who denies climate change."

Minho laughs. Jisung doesn't need to worry. Minho's a terrible person, but he doesn't question science. "Sorry, I believe in global warming. You're gonna have to find another excuse to fight me."

"I don't want to fight you," Jisung says, with no business sounding so sincere at seven in the morning. "Anyway, I would've majored in music, but my parents wouldn't let me, so I figured I'd get a degree to make them happy while making music on the side. It works."

"Have you ever considered writing a song about global warming?"

"Already tried that. It's a hard topic to work with." Jisung waves his hand. "What about you? I'm assuming you're not in enviro."

Yeah, Minho isn't. He's pretty much accepted that politicians don't like science very much, and if the world ends by climate change, he just hopes he'll be around to say a we told you so. "Physics."

Jisung looks like he's about to vomit. "Physics?" he says. "Why on earth would you major in physics?"

"Because I like it," Minho says, just to see how much he can make Jisung's face contort in disgust. Minho is okay with physics- it makes the world seem less confusing, to put a formula to its mechanics- but like Jisung, his love lies elsewhere than his major.

"I'm just gonna pretend I didn't hear that," Jisung says. "I'm an ENFP. I can't talk about physics."

"What does that mean," Minho says. Woojin once mentioned something about a four-letter personality test but Minho zoned out during the explanation. "Is that like an astrology thing?"

"Okay, absolutely not, let me tell you about it," Jisung starts. Minho points out that they should start walking across campus unless Jisung wants to be late, letting Jisung school him on the way there, and wishes him good luck with staying awake during the lecture after they get to the building.

--

To Minho's surprise, Jisung starts joining him in the Main Hall on Mondays and Thursdays after that. "Don't think I'm here for you," Jisung says. He's a bad liar and Minho feels flattered. "It's for the free coffee."

The coffee cart only operates in the Main Hall from five to eight in the morning. "An hour of sleep is a steep price to pay, though."

"Eh. Still not as expensive as the place you work at."

"You use my employee discounts." Minho says, and startles himself when he realizes:

(1) that somehow, their improvised relationship is past the two week mark, and (2) that their lives have naturally intertwined. Minho isn't certain if it's due to a conscious effort on their ends or if it's because their lives weren't that far from each in the first place.

They don't go on dates, but Jisung has started visiting him at work, using aforementioned employee discounts to buy a mug of hot chocolate to drink while studying. In return, Minho has started walking Jisung across campus. And now there's this, the mornings.

Minho likes the company. He really does.

Maybe it's that Jisung seems to have no idea of what dating entails. Minho thinks about that when he's at the counter and he's looking at Jisung two tables over, hand propping up his chin and eyes half-closed. It's relieving, Jisung's lack of expectations. Makes things easy, if a little disappointing, although Minho won't dwell on that.

So Minho doesn't bring himself to cut things off. Things are fine now, no reason to change them. He doesn't think about how strange it is neither of them have gotten tired of each other, or how this has lasted longer than any of his relationships in the past. So two weeks have passed and they continue to wear the label of courtship.

But yesterday when it was late at night and he was half-asleep he wondered if Jisung deserves better.

---

Today is not Monday or Thursday, so Minho reconciles himself to a morning alone. Without Jisung, it's too quiet, the seat in front of him jarringly empty, so Minho sticks in his earbuds to listen to music. He definitely gets more work done without Jisung there, but it's nowhere near as fun.

Until Jisung is there, hurrying over like a man on a mission. Minho tugs his earbud out, says, "What are you doing here? Set your alarm wrong?"

"This is no time for jokes, it's an emergency," Jisung hisses, which almost concerns Minho for a second. "The cake vendor near Building 9 is selling buy one slice get one free, and-"

Minho stands up. Jisung's right. This is an emergency.

"You got money on you?" he asks. Jisung nods. "Let's split the cost."

As soon as they're out of the Main Hall, they start sprinting as by some silent agreement, both of them out of breath and slightly dizzy by the time that they see a line snaking all the way around the building.

"Guess we're not the only ones that got the memo," Jisung says, disappointed. "Will you be late to your first class if you wait?"

"Some things are worth tardies for," Minho says, but Jisung shakes his head.

"Here, I'll buy it, then. Text me after your class is done, I'll bring it to you."

"I exercised for nothing?" Minho says, but after checking his watch he realizes that he can't stand in line for too long, and Stats is a brutal class, so he should be probably be there to take notes. "Fine. Tell me how much it was, and I'll pay for my slice."

Minho heads reluctantly to the math building, sliding into his seat next to Woojin, who's playing a game on his phone. Woojin looks up when Minho arrives, and frowns. "You're sweaty," he says, suspicious. "Were you running?"

"For cake? Hell yeah," Minho says. Woojin sighs in relief, like Minho not exercising on purpose equates to all being right in the universe, and returns to his game, blowing something up in a shower of pixelated sparks.

After a lesson that probably has something to do with probability and definitely a lot with getting poked by Woojin's pen when Minho drifts off, he finds Jisung waiting outside of the building, a plastic container of chocolate cake in hand.

"How many of these containers do you own ?" Minho asks.

"Not as many as you think, so I'll need this back later." After handing the container over to Minho, Jisung turns to see at Woojin, who's watching them with a strange expression. "Oh, hey, Woojin!"

"You two know each other?" Minho asks.

"Through Chan."

"And through Minho, now, I guess." Woojin cuts a glance at the container in Minho's hand. "Why do you get free cake? Do I get free cake?"

"Actually, I'm paying," Minho says, pulling out his wallet. "How much was it?"

"Ah, no, this one's on me."

Minho glares. "Tell me."

"But-"

"Just tell him, he hates owing people things," Woojin says to Jisung, and there seems to be some silent exchange that goes on between the two before Jisung caves and names the price.

"But you give me employee discounts all the time," Jisung says, after pocketing the bills. Minho shrugs. He really hates owing people favors, and besides, he's seen his mom fight over the right to pay too many times for it not to have rubbed off of him.

"Don't mind him, you can buy me fried chicken some time," Woojin says, and Jisung scoffs. Minho watches the exchange, realizing that they're better friends than Minho thought.

Something's off. Woojin has asked nothing about how the Minho and Jisung know each other. Minho doesn't recall telling Woojin that Jisung was the guy at the coffee shop, but Woojin must know. And he hasn't commented. Before he can properly dwell on the significance of this, Jisung cuts off his line of thought.

"Get Chan to buy you fried chicken, I'm sure he will if you ask nice enough."

"Chan is such a pushover that I would feel bad," Woojin says. Minho laughs, grounded; Chan is the link that connects the three of them, so finally, the conversation stops being weird. "Anyway, I have another class now. I'll see you."

Woojin slings his bag over his shoulder and heads in the opposite direction. Jisung and Minho watch his retreating back for a few seconds before Minho snaps out of it. "You've got class too, let's go."

Walking Jisung across campus, it brings him back to middle school, when he'd always walk home with friends, stay over at their houses to do homework in the afternoon. He didn't do it in high school, though. What a strange thing to outgrow.

Absentmindedly, Minho slings an arm around Jisung's shoulders, and looks over when he feels Jisung stiffen underneath his arm. Jisung's face is red, eyes resolutely aimed at the ground. It's awkward, but Minho thinks that it might be even more awkward if he removes his arm, so he keeps it there.

(Minho doesn't think he likes cute, but maybe he does.)

"You're so short."

At this, Jisung looks up. "You're just too tall," he retorts, and Minho feels Jisung's shoulders relax.

"Hey, this is my building," he says. He steps away, and Minho's arm falls to his side. There's a slight smile on Jisung's face. "Remember to give me my container back."

"Will do."

Minho doesn't give the plastic container back. The chocolate cake is long eaten, but Minho isn't good at remembering these kinds of trivial things. At least Jisung doesn't really seem to mind Minho's selective memory.

---

Physical affection is Minho's natural way of communication, and Jisung doesn't seem to mind, so Minho continues.

It's only fair that Minho's way of speaking is without words, with how much he loves dance. It's a love that will have an expiration date, because bodies give out, which is why Minho has physics as a backup. But Minho made sure to choose a college that had an emphasis on the arts.

Their dance program is demanding, for sure. Minho always ends up sweaty, his body asked to do things that most bodies can't do. To him, dance is one of the most beautiful things on earth, tied right up there with music. It's like magic. But like any magic, there's a steep price to go with it.

"I'm gonna die," Hyunjin announces. He's plastered to the floor, and even though his hair is a mess, and he's a wearing damp gray t-shirt and black sweatpants, he manages to be the prettiest person in the room. Unfair. "I can't get up."

"If you get up, I'll tell you a funny story that happened to me yesterday," Felix says, and Hyunjin immediately peels himself off the ground.

"What?"

"I got Coke poured on my head," Felix says. Hyunjin gasps, sympathetic, while Minho laughs. Hyunjin glares, and Minho turns the laugh to a cough.

"That is not a funny story," Hyunjin says. "What happened?"

Felix groans. "I was mistaken for an ex. It's fine, really. Now if it were Pepsi, on the other hand, that would suck."

"Of course," Minho agrees. He feels kind of bad now; he isn't superstitious, but he likes the concept of karma, and if anybody deserves some good karma, it's Felix. "Because Pepsi-"

He's interrupted by Hyunjin's small shriek as he pours some water on his own head. "In solidarity," Hyunjin explains. Felix bites his lip to hide a smile.

So Hyunjin is the guy in Seungmin's Instagram posts. If Seungmin likes Hyunjin, then Minho is certain that the crush is reciprocated. Hyunjin always talks about his roommate and hates this really flexible guy named Youngtaek in their dance class because it's a public secret that Youngtaek likes a Seungmin as well. The best part is that Minho now knows that Hyunjin and Youngtaek like two different Seungmins, but Minho is absolutely not going to tell Hyunjin that, since watching Hyunjin suffer is hilarious.

Minho gets out of the dance studio last, and when he walks into the hallway, he sees Felix talking to- Jisung?

"Hey," Minho says, coming up to them. "Jisung, what are you doing here?"

"Oh, Felix and I have to work on a project together, we're heading over to the library," Jisung says. Minho nods, taking Jisung's hand and interlocking their fingers.

Felix's gaze darts down to their hands and back up to their faces, trying and failing to conceal his smile. Oh, shit. Felix is a hopeless romantic. Jisung probably knows why Felix is smiling, since he's fallen unnaturally silent, but to his credit, he doesn't let go of Minho's hand.

"Hey, Jisung," Minho says. "Did you hear that someone poured Coke on Felix's head yesterday?"

"What?" Jisung says, promptly losing any embarrassment. "Who was it? I'll fight them."

"No thanks," Felix hurriedly declines. "Jesus. Both you and Hyunjin are crazy."

"Don't lump me in with Hyunjin," Jisung says. "I have nothing in common with him."

Felix coughs. "Sure." In response to Minho's confused expression, Felix adds, "Jisung kind of hates Hyunjin. But also, they're like, friends."

Jisung overturns the palm of his free hand. "I'm just saying it's nobody's business being that good-looking while also being so good at everything at the same time."

"But you're running that business pretty well." Minho says. He doesn't know why he says it. Jisung goes speechless, Felix looks like he's about to scream. Minho decides he needs better impulse control. "Anyway, I gotta go now. Bye."

Minho frees his hand and walks off.

---

when i die, i bequeath you my rings and half of my student debt , Minho texts Jeongin. He promptly receives a ????? in return, but Minho shuts his phone off without providing any context.

---

The next day, Minho gets a text from Jisung. so this has been going on too long , he types.

In the seconds between this text and the next one, Minho feels himself freeze. It's not enough time for the chemicals in his brain to respond.

IM COMING TO COLLECT MY CONTAINER , Jisung writes next, and Minho realizes that he's misinterpreted Jisung's words. He can't shake off the feeling, though, that a Jenga block has been removed from his chest, righted right before he could tip over.

okay, Minho types back.

im omw , Jisung says. Five minutes later, there's a knock on the door. Minho opens it, and Jisung comes in, toeing off his shoes. "Is my container clean? There's not, like, mold in it or anything?"

"I would never let your beloved plastic container become a petri dish," Minho replies. Jisung snorts, then looks around the room. It's tiny and lived-in, with Changbin's side slightly messier than Minho's.

Minho finds the container and hands it over. There's a moment where Jisung's awkwardly standing there with his box in his hands, and Minho says, "Are you just here for the container?"

"Um, I don't have anywhere to be, I was just planning to study. So we could, study together? Or something?"

"Or something, probably," Minho says. He means it like procrastination and doesn't notice how Jisung's eyes widen, face flushing red. "Have you been in here before? Since you're friends with Changbin."

"Not really, Changbin and I usually meet up at Chan's, since he's got his own place." That explains how Minho's never seen Jisung around. "I think I've been here once or twice. I've definitely seen you before, that's how I recognized you."

"Huh. You could've hung out here, you know."

"You kind of intimidated me," Jisung blurts out. Minho quirks an eyebrow. "Cause you were like..."

"Like what?"

"LIke, you know, you," Jisung stammers.

Minho wants elaboration but red is crawling up the sides of Jisung's face at a truly astonishing rate, so Minho decides to let Jisung live.

"You and Changbin meet up at Chan's to make music?" Minho asks instead, and Jisung nods, looking immensely relieved at the subject change. "Changbin's mentioned your SoundCloud account. 3RACHA."

"Yeah! 3RACHA," Jisung says, eyes sparkling. "Have you listened? Do you like it?"

"No," Minho says, and Jisung's expression falls. "Just because I thought it was like, an internet identity thing. Like I wouldn't want Changbin to see my old dance covers. You know?"

"I absolutely want to see your old dance covers."

"You won't, not now, not ever," Minho says. The only reason he hasn't deleted the channel is because he forgot the fucking password. "But we could listen to some of your songs together, if you want."

"Absolutely," Jisung says, pulling out his phone and searching up the link. "I'll just show you, like, three or four of the best ones we've uploaded. The new tracks we're working on are way better now that Chan's taking classes in music, but these aren't bad, either."

"So these are original songs?"

"Yeah. Usually all three of us work on the lyrics together, while Chan does a lot of the producing."

They listen to three. Placebo, Broken Compass, and For You .

In the short span of ten minutes it takes for the songs to play, Minho decides that he should respect Changbin more- he might be lacking at times as a roommate, but he's a lyrical genius and can spit fire- and Minho already knew Chan was good at music, but this just seals the deal.

Minho can tell the three are amateurs, but there's so much raw talent that it more than compensates. He listens in particular for Jisung, who doesn't rap as fast as Changbin, but has a passion to his voice that makes every line hit hard. Minho wonders where his tone comes from. There's more than a surface-level pain in these songs.

"So, do you like them?" Jisung asks, clearly nervous. "I mean, I haven't listened in awhile, my voice is a lot better now-"

"I like them," Minho says, before Jisung can critique himself. "You guys are really good. I'm sorry I didn't listen sooner." He's relieved that his voice comes out genuine, because at times his compliments sound false without him meaning them to.

"Oh, okay," Jisung says, trying to hide his smile. "Yeah, we're working on other stuff now."

"How many songs do you have on here?" Minho asks, taking the phone and scrolling. He wants to see if he can go through their discography tonight. "Hmm. Well, I can say I knew you guys before the peak of your fame."

"Shut up," Jisung says, pleased. "We just really like making music."

"The lyrics," Minho starts carefully. They resonate with a chord in his chest he never previously knew existed, but they also make him wonder what's on Jisung's mind. "Are they about, like, you?"

"Yeah. I always write lyrics to express myself." Jisung crosses his legs. "I make music about the stuff I can't make small-talk about. I'm really glad I got into music, I'm pretty sure I'd have zero idea what to do with life if I hadn't."

Minho discerns that Jisung really loves music, as much or maybe more than Minho loves dance. For Jisung, music is also a chase for perfection, frustration when he can't get the sound down just right, but also an art he breathes, creating melodies like new running shoes and lyrics like liquid sunlight.

Minho gets it. He might not ever share this, but music, a long time ago, was one of the only things keeping him going, giving meaning to life. He can't make music himself, but he is always glad for its existence, four-minute packages of expression that come free, able to be heard again and again without breaking or wearing out.

"We really have not gotten any studying done," Minho says, and Jisung blinks.

"Oh, shit, let's do that."

They wind up like this, sprawled out on Minho's bed, Jisung's hands propping up his face while he stares at his textbook. It makes his cheeks bunch up and Minho fights the urge to stare. Minho himself is sitting cross-legged, occasionally pouring crushed Pringles into his mouth while he does a worksheet.

"You wanna take a break?" Jisung says, an hour in.

Minho nods. Jisung puts an earbud in, offering the other one to Minho, who takes it and lies down, closing his eyes and letting the beat of Handclap filter through the speakers.

They're on a Charlie Puth song when Minho hears a scream through his free ear. He rips the earbud out, eyes snapping open, to see Changbin at the doorway with his hand covering his eyes.

"I DIDN'T SEE ANYTHING," Changbin yells.

Minho corrects his previous decision to respect Changbin, decides that Changbin is a total loser who just happens to be good at making music, much like Minho is an asshole who just happens to be good at dance. "Because there wasn't anything to see ," Minho says irritatedly. "We were listening to music. Is that a R-rated activity now?"

"Oh," Changbin says, removing his hand. "Sorry."

"Changbin, I am going to kill you," Jisung mutters. "Sorry, Minho, I'm gonna leave now."

He gathers up his stuff before heading out the door. Minho stands in complete silence until Jisung is outside, and then he rounds on Changbin. "You really went there."

"Look, obviously I assumed wrong," Changbin says. "It's just..."

He trails off. Changbin is being fair. Minho's had people over before, and Changbin would find somewhere else to crash for the night. But Jisung, Minho hasn't touched him in any way that isn't mostly platonic.

"Hey," Minho says. "Has Jisung ever kissed anyone?"

Changbin takes a step back, and Minho tries to gauge where that question falls on the I'll kill you if you hurt him scale. "You think I'll answer that for you?" Changbin says. "Ask him yourself."

"Maybe I will," Minho says. Or maybe he won't- Jisung seems like he might die of embarrassment. "Anyway, we really were just listening to music. He showed me some of your music."

"Thoughts?"

"You guys are good," Minho says coolly.

Changbin smiles, knowing that Minho would never compliment him so effusively to his face. "Thanks," he says, then adds something that unsettles Minho more than it should. "You know, you and Jisung are pretty cute."

---

Minho listens to all of their songs, splitting it between two nights. He starts from the most recent and works his way from there. The further down he gets on the SoundCloud, the less professional they get, and it's interesting, to see the trajectory of improvement.

He's mildly amused that Jisung's voice is noticeably higher in their older songs. It's cute.

Near the bottom of their account is a song called Wow , one of the last that Minho listens to. He's frozen for the first few seconds, then laughs his way through the next three minutes. The only way to describe the song is a dark history, and Minho figures he'll have enough ammunition to lord over Changbin for the rest of his life.

A day later, Changbin's out for a class, so Minho's alone. Jisung comes over to study again.

"Hey," Minho says.

"Hey."

"I listened to your discography last night."

"Really?" Jisung says, before his eyes widen. "Wait, all of it?"

"All of it," Minho says.

They stare off at each other, Jisung struggling to deal with the implications of that statement, and then, because Minho can't resist, he starts rapping. "Excuse me, noona, do you have a boyfriend? A-ah sorry, that must have been-"

Jisung cuts him off with a loud scream. "I'm leaving," he yells. "From Earth . I heard Mars is great this time of year."

Minho laughs, grabbing onto Jisung's arm before he can leave. "No, I'm sorry," he says, not sorry at all. "If it makes you feel better, the song is really catchy. I couldn't get it out of my head in Stats today."

"That doesn't make me feel any better, oh my god, I forgot that song existed," Jisung groans, hiding his face in his hands. "You listened to that? We made it ages ago. Damn, we should clean out our SoundCloud."

"No, don't do that, keep everything on there so you can see how far you've come. Besides, there's a lot of good stuff on there. I liked Scene Stealers , the lyrics in that one were great."

"Thanks," Jisung says, face still hidden. He drags his palms down his cheeks. "I'm really sorry about Wow. I can't believe you had to listen to us hit on an imaginary girl for three minutes straight."

"It was really, really entertaining, and I will have power over Changbin for the rest of my life, so actually I have to thank you. But I mean, I was surprised. It's completely different from the rest of the stuff you have on your account."

"Yeah, that's because at some point, we acquired brains," Jisung deadpans. "Actually, it was probably that song that made us realize that love songs weren't our thing."

"What went on in your heads when you were writing it?" Minho asks. Jisung glares at him. "I'm curious !"

"Okay, you know what, it was Changbin's idea," Jisung says. "But really it was because- at that time, none of us had any experience with dating, so we wrote the lyrics and then dared each other to rap them. It got a little out of control."

"Have you written any love songs after that?"

"I mean, I write lyrics in my notebook sometimes." Jisung fidgets with his sleeves. "But I don't- post them, because I feel like, who am I to say anything about love, when I've-" he pauses, coughs.

"What?"

"You're really going to make me say it?"

"You can rap it, if you want," Minho says.

Jisung throws him a look, hands going up to hide his face again, but Minho grabs his wrists before he can. "When I've never even kissed anyone," Jisung says, so fast and quiet that Minho barely hears it.

"But like I am an expert on confidence and self-doubt so that's why my lyrics on those are so good!" Jisung says, trying to erase his past words.

"You don't need qualifications to write a love song," Minho says. "Right? It's not like you're applying for a job."

"But if I were, I'd have to write no experience on my resume," Jisung grumbles. "I have no idea why I'm telling you any of this, I've never been embarrassed in my life. I want to crawl into a hole and-"

"Do you want experience?"

And this is when they both go dead silent. Minho lets go of Jisung's wrists, taking a step back and sealing his expression off.

"What do you mean?" Jisung asks.

"I could kiss you, if you want."

Minho isn't qualified to write a love song either, with the excess of emotions in the lyrics and all that, but the physical aspect of a love song, he's run the whole gamut of. He has confidence in his looks, in his body, and doesn't need to be drunk to pick someone up for the night.

Minho isn't innocent. Kissing doesn't mean much to him. Jisung has a nice mouth, with his heart-shaped smile and the bowed curve of his upper lip. Minho wouldn't mind kissing Jisung. (Actually, maybe Minho really wants to kiss Jisung.)

"Okay," Jisung says, and Minho looks up.

Minho doesn't expect how Jisung suddenly looks very casual, and asks, "You sure?"

"Yeah, I kind of want it over with," Jisung says. He quirks an eyebrow. There's something off about this situation, but Minho can't place what it is. "So are you going to do it or not?"

"Alright," Minho says. "I will."

He doesn't expect the anxiety that floods his whole body. Minho has kissed people before. He's kissed strangers. Maybe it's the whole first kiss thing, but Minho's first kiss was terrible, took place behind a portable bathroom. Maybe it's a Jisung thing.

No, but Jisung just wants experience.

So Minho tilts Jisung's chin up and leans in. When he's about two centimeters away, Jisung scrambles backward, and Minho realizes that Jisung's laughing . "I'm so sorry," Jisung says, looking down. "I'm just, nervous."

"Don't be," Minho says, laughing as well. All of the tension in the room has left. "You wanna try again?"

Jisung nods, and Minho leans in, but Jisung starts laughing again. "Okay," Minho says. "What are you nervous about?"

"I don't know," Jisung says. "About it not being good for you."

"Forget about me," Minho says, then cuts Jisung off before the inevitable witty comeback. "Look, how about this, I'll close my eyes, and you can just... go whenever you want. Alright?"

"Okay."

The last thing Minho sees before he shuts his eyes is Jisung looking mildly apprehensive. Minho stays still, feels a tentative hand on his cheek, then a softness against his mouth two seconds later. Minho kisses back, and he feels Jisung freeze, before trying to mirror the movement.

A few seconds later, Jisung pulls back. "Was that okay?"

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" Minho says. The whole thing feels backward.

"Well, I hate being bad at things, so I need to know if I sucked," Jisung says, and it's such a Jisung thing to say that Minho cracks up. "Give me an honest evaluation."

"You're not bad," Minho says sincerely. "I enjoyed it."

Jisung narrows his eyes. "So I wasn't good, either," he says, which causes Minho to laugh harder. "Minho, what's so funny?"

"Everything," Minho gasps. "Okay- you know what, you can't expect to be good all at once, right? I mean, you guys weren't music-making geniuses right out of the womb."

"Chan probably was," Jisung says stubbornly, before looking down, embarrassed.

Minho smiles, then leans in for another kiss, less than a second in duration. Jisung stares at him, wide-eyed. "We can practice," Minho says.

"You don't mind?"

Jisung's voice is so sincere, and Minho feels some kind of inexplicable fondness overtake his entire body. It isn't the way Minho usually feels after he's kissed someone, or the way his usual kisses go, so Minho almost questions himself when he says, "Not at all."

---

Practice might be the wrong word for it. Generally, practice isn't supposed to be so much fun.

Jisung doesn't kiss him in public, considerate of other people, but it takes about a week for kissing to become natural, just another thing in their inventory of physical affection.

Minho is surprised by how quickly Jisung learns. Two weeks in, and Jisung kisses like he raps, knows how to make Minho's head spin and his mind melt. If they're making out, Minho loses all sense of the world around him, the entire scope of his senses narrowing to the feeling of Jisung's mouth on his and wherever else they're touching.

Studying together becomes slightly inefficient because, well, Jisung's distracting . Changbin walks in on them, barely managing to say a "hey what's up" before he starts screaming again, this time justified.

Minho isn't embarrassed. Jisung, on the other hand, curls into a ball next to him, face between his knees.

"Jisung," Changbin says, voice disgusted and mildly proud, "I can't believe you."

"Sorry, lost track of time," Minho says.

Changbin groans. "I can see. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go bleach my eyes so I can never see anything again."

---

Minho is packing up after class when he gets called over by his dance instructor. He walks over to her, wondering if he's done something wrong, but what he gets isn't a reprimand. "Your dancing's been a lot more energetic recently. Keep it up."

"Thank you," he says, making sure not to smile until he's walked away. His dance instructor's compliments are hard to come by.

Hyunjin and Felix are waiting next to the doorway, Felix scrolling on his phone and Hyunjin yawning into his hand. They walk to the end of the hall, where Hyunjin feeds a bill into the vending machine and punches in a few numbers. Nothing happens, and Hyunjin gasps. "They jacked up the prices!" He leans his head against the glass. "No..."

"Here, I've got some loose change," Felix says, hiking his bag up. He frowns, hand over the zipper. "Hey, Hyunjin, aren't you on a diet?"

"Oh, fuck, I am." Hyunjin deflates further. "This is a terrible day."

"Seungmin posted a new selfie on Instagram," Felix says, and Hyunjin immediately drops his bag to search for his phone, a smile on his face.

Before Minho can comment, his phone starts ringing.

"I can't believe you still have your ringtone as default," Hyunjin says, and Minho sticks up his middle finger before looking at the caller ID. It's his mom.

"Ooh, answer," Felix says. "I love your mom."

Minho's mom also loves Felix, maybe more than she loves Minho. Fair enough. Minho presses answer. "Hey," he says, and sets it on speakerphone. "I'm heading home from dance practice right now."

"Hi, Mrs. Lee!" Felix chirps.

"Hi, Felix!" Her voice is tinny through the speakers. "Minho, is this a bad time? I just wanted to ask how you're doing."

"It isn't a bad time, and I'm doing fine," Minho says. He feels guilty- he likes to make time for his mom, but he's been occupied recently. Hyunjin waves at them to let them know he's heading out, and Minho waves back. "I'm heading into finals season."

"Ah, I'm sure you'll do fine," she says. Felix winces at the mention of finals. "I'm so excited for when you and Jeongin come home for the holidays. Felix, are you staying on campus, or no?"

"Ah, no, I'll be coming home."

"Make sure to drop by if you do, I'm trying a few new recipes out."

Minho and Felix look at each other in horror- Minho's mom is a scientist, but her genius in mixing chemicals doesn't translate to genius in combining ingredients.

"How are you? How are Soonie, Doongie, and Dori?" Minho asks. He will never not be pissed about their campus's anti-pet policy.

"Oh, you know, Soonie's a princess, Doongie's demonic, and Dori might miss you or she might just be hungry, I can't tell. They're nice company. And I'm fine."

"That's good."

"What about you, Minho? How are you? Anything new in your life?"

" Wait, have you told her about Jisung? " Felix mouths, and Minho shakes his head.

He can feel Felix's questioning gaze on him. Minho ignores it, there's no need for an explanation. But why hasn't Minho told her about Jisung yet? He and Jisung have been going out for over a month now- which is impressive, given Minho's track record.

It's simple, right? They're friends who make out and are technically together, but Minho never thinks of them as boyfriends. Minho's just being careful, for the possibility of- it's hard to explain. He can't tell his mom that Jisung's his boyfriend when Minho can't even tell himself that Jisung's his boyfriend.

But there's nothing else they can be.

"Same old," Minho says.

"Funny. That's what Jeongin always says, too."

"There's the shared genetics."

She laughs. "The only shared genetics you have, really." Buzzing emanates from her end of the line. "Sorry, I have to go now, my boss is calling me. I don't know what he could want with me at this time... I'll see you, though."

"See you."

The call clicks off.

"Goddamn, finals season starts next week, I forgot," Felix groans, swinging his backpack to his other shoulder. "I can't study under pressure. My brain explodes."

"Guess natural selection didn't account for college," Minho says. "You doing anything tonight, then?" A lot of people are going to a club, or drinking- it's Friday night, after all, and the last one before finals season.

"I'm heading over to Jeongin's to play Mario Kart. Woojin's coming too. You wanna join us?"

They both know the answer, which is that Minho's ego can't take getting twelfth place three times in a row again. He'll get his ass kicked plenty over the holidays, when Felix's gamer friend, Olivia, will be there too. "No thank you," Minho says. "I'd win every round and it wouldn't be fun."

"Sure," Felix agrees amiably.

Minho is going to be in his dorm watching cat videos or reading a book- he's never claimed to lead an exciting life. When he gets back, Changbin is sitting cross-legged on his bed, headphones on and staring intently at the screen, occasionally tapping on his keyboard. Probably writing lyrics.

Jisung's said that Changbin takes forever to come up with a single verse, but the verse is always good, which is completely different from Jisung's own style, which is to write as much as he can and fix it later. Minho wonders if Jisung is over in his dorm, writing lyrics, or if he's at a club like everyone else.

Minho's phone goes off. yoooo , Jisung says, with perfect timing. are u doing anything?

Jisung probably isn't at a club- the text is too sober. i was gonna get some cereal, Minho replies. so i guess i was about to do something

my roommate is out drinking , Jisung writes. i owe him for cleaning the dorm so im gonna have to haul his ass back at like two or smthn smh

I DIDNT ASK HIM TO CLEAN THE DORM . A pause. anyway so would you like to come over?

will coming over involve me constantly falling off rainbow road?

pfft who hurt you? but no im just binging the great british bake off

Minho is about to send yes without hesitation, but then he squints. Does that sound clingy? But Jisung is the one who texted him, Minho reasons. Nevermind that Minho was thinking about him before the conversation even started.

sounds good you got yourself a deal.

It's nine or so at night when Minho treks his way toward Jisung's dorm, which he's never seen before. It looks exactly like his own dorm, because their university mass produces everything, including housing. The room is neat, probably due to his roommate.

"Hey," Jisung says, looping his arms around Minho's neck and kissing him. It's short but Minho feels dizzy anyway. "Have you eaten dinner yet?"

Red warning signs flood Minho's body, but it's an innocuous question, a false alarm, so he chooses to ignore them. "No." Friday's his usual takeout day.

"Uh, well, we have ramen," Jisung says. "I actually haven't eaten dinner either. I was preoccupied."

"By the Great British Bake-Off?"

"Yeah," Jisung says. "So you wanna order pizza?"

There's a deal on pepperoni, so they order a large then head across campus to pick it up. Matryopizza is fairly empty, most people having chosen the delivery option. Jisung yawns into his hand, and Minho puts his arm around Jisung's waist, letting the other lean onto his shoulder.

"I gotta start cramming this weekend," Jisung says, scuffing his shoe along the grass on their way back. "Today's my last day of freedom."

And you choose to spend it watching the Great British Bake-Off ? Minho wants to ask, but it would be hypocritical, so he stays silent. "You'll do fine," Minho says. "I've heard you're good at cramming everything into your brain right before the test then forgetting everything afterward."

"Yeah but there's so much to cram this time and I don't know anything," Jisung says petulantly, which makes Minho laugh. "Whatever. I won't think about it until tomorrow."

They settle onto Jisung's bed, pizza box open on the table next to him, and Jisung restarts the episode that he was on. They get through several episodes without any interruptions, because there's something extremely addicting about this show, but after the fifth or so they start losing focus.

"Can we just talk about this pizza, though," Jisung says. It's so badly cut that the cuts don't even go through the middle, and there's little triangles of pizza in the center that aren't supposed to be there. "This should be illegal."

Minho takes a little triangle pizza for himself and pushes the other one into Jisung's mouth. "Whoever cut this should enter Hell's Kitchen, I'm sure Gordon Ramsay would have a lot to say."

"You watch Hell's Kitchen?"

"Not often," Minho says, after he's chewed and swallowed. "I keep my binging to a minimum." This is a lie. He's downloaded apps to restrict his time watching cat videos, to no avail.

"I feel like you're lying, your voice got all arrogant," Jisung says, and Minho looks at him in surprise. "You said you liked documentaries at some point. Any recs?"

"I forgot, I watch a lot of documentaries," Minho says. "But I really like ones on psych and space."

Jisung smiles. "You're such a nerd," he says. Minho takes offense, but honestly, Jisung is right- whenever he watches Star Wars and Star Trek , it's near impossible for him to suspend his disbelief and ignore plot holes. "Do you believe in aliens, then? Watch conspiracy theory videos?"

"Aliens are real, I don't need conspiracy theory videos to prove that. It's just math. The universe is so big, we can't be the only ones." Minho has his eyes on the laptop screen, so he misses the mixture of adoration and fondness that Jisung's expression becomes. "Do you believe in aliens?"

"I don't think I'm qualified to have an opinion on that, I just think that an alien invasion would be pretty cool," Jisung says. "I'm kind of an idiot in comparison to you, all I'm concerned with is music and cheesecake."

Minho scoffs. "If you're comparing yourself to me, you need to raise your standards. But really? Cheesecake?"

"Cheesecake is a serious business," Jisung says. "You have to have something you care about that pretty much nobody else does. Like, my friend back home, Daehwi, is obsessed with candles. And Yerim, this girl in my English class, really likes stationary. And-"

"I like cats."

"Cats?"

"There's mine."

"Oh my god, do you wanna watch cat videos, then?" Jisung says. "I have some saved on my watch later on YouTube."

They watch cat videos, and Minho talks about his cats back home and Jisung talks about how Jeno, his roommate, tried to sneak a cat in and got caught due to allergies, and they're both nearly asleep when they get an extremely drunk text from the aforementioned Jeno.

Minho and Jisung go to pick up Jeno and his three other intoxicated freshmen friends and dump them off at their respective dorms like a reverse scavenger hunt, and after everyone's been dropped off Minho returns to his own dorm. He hates freshmen but he kind of wishes Jisung had more drunk friends so that the night wouldn't have to end, and before he falls asleep he thinks that might be a dangerous thought to have but it's probably just because he's so tired that he can't think straight. Yeah. That's why his heart is beating so fast and his chest feels like it might explode.

---

Minho doesn't get to dwell on the issue of his recklessness because final season arrives, and the campus transforms into hell.

The first snow arrives on top of that, so Minho goes class to class with his eyes half-closed and shoes and socks damp. The line at the coffee shop he works at exceeds the floorspace, and customers get worse this time of year- there are several accounts of dropped coffees, messed-up orders, and complaints.

"How are you holding up?" Minho asks Changbin, who doesn't answer, but continues to furiously rap formulas under his breath. Math majors, Minho swears. "Not good? Okay."

Minho doesn't get to see Jisung in the mornings anymore, because Jisung is too tired to wake up early. Minho also doesn't get to see Jisung in the afternoons either- once, Minho went over to study, and Jeno, his roommate, opened the door and said, "Minho? Yeah, Jisung said you're not allowed to distract him."

From the back, Minho hears, "PLEASE LET HIM IN, I'M DYING."

"This is for your own good," Jeno says over his shoulder, then shrugs at Minho and shuts the door in his face.

It isn't worrying, because it isn't like Jisung's avoiding him. Jisung still walks Minho from class to class, shivering and melting into Minho like a human shaped blob of jelly. Minho won't say it, but winter Jisung is cute, bundled up into layers like a puffy marshmallow, cheeks red from the cold. Minho steals his scarf and puts snow down his back.

What might be slightly worrying is that Minho hates the decrease in contact more than he should, but then again, it's finals season, so everything is worrying, and therefore Minho doesn't think about it. Physics is the bigger concern at the moment.

When the actual testing part of finals hits, Minho's already dissociated, so he's just a bundle of atoms moving from room to room, reading questions and filling little circles of graphite into endless stacks of scantrons. He watches videos between tests and forgets to drink water. He also probably annoys the living hell out of Jeongin by asking about his test schedule and asking if he's prepared his student IDs and No. 2 Pencils.

how do you think you did? Minho texts after Jeongin's English final, just to be annoying.

probably failed will live in a cardboard box later , Jeongin sends back. Minho rolls his eyes. Jeongin's strategy is to go with the flow and not stress out about it, which doesn't sound like a strategy at all to more studious students, but it works. idk i dont want to think about it.

Minho's last final is Friday morning, and after he finishes, he doesn't even register that he's done for the semester; all he feels is numb and disinterested. He microwaves some ramen and eats it while staring at the ceiling. Sunday, he'll go home for the holidays. He should start packing.

Later.

At around two, his phone vibrates with notifications. Jisung's profile picture flashes onscreen, with the message, IM FREE I JUST FINISHED!!

nice job , Minho says. Warmth pools in his chest.

tbh i dont remember anything i put down . probably failed

Minho remembers Seungmin's words and gets an inkling of suspicion that Jisung's one of those people who always say they fail but never do. no, u probably didn't.

doesn't even matter if i did im just so glad im done , Jisung replies. gonna celebrate this afternoon with bubble tea

tell me youre not obsessed with bubble tea like the rest of campus , Minho replies, groaning internally.

EXCUSE ME BUBBLE TEA IS MY RELIGION

i thought cheesecake was your religion? Minho types, then looks up when he hears the door open. It's Changbin. He looks even shorter and dead to the world than normal, and he's probably in no shape to judge Minho's facial expressions, but Minho kills the smile that's somehow bloomed on his lips anyway.

the cheesecake on this campus sucks so im a temporary convert

ive never had bubble tea, actually.

Three bubbles dance for a long time. Unnecessarily long, in Minho's opinion. This is always the reaction he gets.

WHAT THE FUCK? Jisung types, following it with a flood of exclamation marks that cover the whole screen. okay you know what im not even gonna ask, meet me at tmt @5 you are trying it out.

are you asking me on a date?

It's a joke, made on impulse, but as soon as he presses send, his whole body locks up with nervosa. It's confusing. Minho can never predict when he'll panic when it comes to Jisung. The way they met should have immunized them to any further anxiety or embarrassment, and they're dating, but-

Minho's phone is silent, and he curses himself for making it weird. They hang out together all the time. Why does using a term for it suddenly make things difficult?

okay imo its an intervention , Jisung types, and Minho laughs to himself, relieved. but it can be a date if u want?

ill meet u at 5 , Minho says, avoiding the question.

It's a date. It definitely is a date, and Minho resists the urge to call Woojin and ask what he usually wears on these occasions, because he and Jisung - they aren't like Woojin and Chan.

Instead, Minho peels his body off the couch and packs for home, making sure to be extra careful with the mug with their university logo emblazoned on it; it's a gift for his mom, who collects coffee mugs.

Ten minutes to five o'clock, Minho searches up the directions to TMT (Too Much Tapioca) and heads out. He doesn't wear anything out of the ordinary- it would probably be ruined by the snow, anyway- and walks across campus.

He pushes open the sliding doors The cafe is cute, walls artfully decorated, a quote about enjoying life written across the wall. Minho recognizes it as his friend's work- Kevin sometimes gets paid for his calligraphy skills. Jisung is already at a table. He looks good, but Minho can't tell if it's more so than usual. He wonders if it's probable that Jisung just picked that outfit out by random chance, but he wouldn't know. The Stats final was the worst one.

"Hey," Minho says, sliding into the seat "I'm here for the intervention."

Jisung looks at him, smiles, and Minho wonders if it's his imagination that the air between them is different. "Yeah, let's order, then," he says, and then Minho notices the metal tube between his fingers.

"What's that?" Minho asks.

Jisung looks down. "Oh, a bubble tea straw," Jisung says. Minho looks again. It's thicker than a regular straw would be. "Since, like, no plastic."

Jisung always talks about how he's a sham environmentalist, is only doing the major for the degree, but Minho is really questioning that at this point because of shit like this. "You have a metal straw specifically for bubble tea?" Minho sputters.

"We make sacrifices for religion," Jisung retorts, and any tension between them cracks and leaves like helium from a burst balloon. Minho laughs, hard. "Okay, stop making fun of me now! Let's go get you some tea."

Minho gets strawberry and, after finally managing to stab a straw through the top, takes a sip. It's not the best thing he's ever had, tastes like a regular smoothie, but the texture of the bubbles is very interesting.

"So, what's the verdict?" Jisung says.

Minho shrugs. "Meh." And then, just because Jisung cares so much, "I don't really like it."

Jisung's mouth drops open, and he pulls his phone out, pretending to make a call. "Hey, NASA?" he says into the black screen. "So I've discovered that aliens actually are real-"

"Sorry to interrupt, but I was, unfortunately, born on Earth," Minho says. He takes another sip, contemplating the cup. "I didn't expect that the tea would be cold."

"You were born on Earth yet you know nothing of the world," Jisung says, and Minho pretends to dump his bubble tea on Jisung's head. "Is Changbin out, by the way?"

"I mean, when I went out he was asleep, and when he's asleep he usually doesn't wake up unless there's a natural disaster," Minho says. "Why?"

"Wanna go back to your dorm?"

It's a testament to how burnt out Minho is by finals that his usual gutter mind doesn't immediately catch on- Jisung actually might have gotten away with the question had he not immediately flushed and held his tea in front of his face.

Minho feigns confusion. "Why?"

One could probably fry an egg on Jisung's cheeks with how red they are. "You know."

"Mm, last time I checked, I know nothing of the world," Minho teases.

"You're really gonna make me say it?" Jisung says. He crosses his arms over his chest, looks around to make sure no one's within earshot. "I'm leaving for home tomorrow. I want to-"

At this, Jisung skids to a halt, looking mildly as if he were to combust, and Minho lets Jisung off because (1) Minho's impressed that Jisung managed to even get this far and (2) Minho kind of really wants to make out with Jisung too, since they've seen little of each other the past two weeks and Jisung refuses to do anything in public. So they walk back to his dorm, Jisung talking fast to conceal his embarrassment, about how all of his friends are smart and it sucks and how the bubble tea is basically a heat pack compared to this cold.

Once they get back to the dorm, Minho sets his cup down and shuts Jisung up.

---

"Dude, my head hurts," Felix groans. "I am never drinking again."

"Well, Sundays are for repentance," Woojin comments, and Felix glares at him.

They're on a train back home for the holidays, Woojin and Minho sitting on one side and Felix and Jeongin on the other.

Woojin adds, "We got six hours until we arrive, you can sleep it off."

"Alright," Felix mutters. He leans his head against Jeongin's shoulder, closing his eyes, then jolts upright. "Wait, I didn't do anything stupid last night, right? Eric and Bomin told me I was fine, if a little more Australian than usual, but I have watched too many rom-coms where you drunk-dial the guy you like to feel safe."

"How would we know?" Minho asks. Then, "Wait, Felix, is there someone you like?"

"Hypothetical scenario," Felix says quickly, before leaning his head on Jeongin's shoulder again. Jeongin's face flushes, and he shifts his torso to better accommodate Felix's form. "Time to sleep. Goodnight."

Six hours pass by surprisingly fast. Minho watches the scenery outside the windows, trees and shrubs weighed down by snow, while listening to music and mouthing along. Woojin gets Felix's Nintendo Switch out of his backpack and boots it up, Jeongin craning his head to watch.

At the two hour mark, Jeongin falls asleep on Felix. Woojin takes a picture, and Minho shoots him a look. Woojin shrugs.

By the time they get off the train, Minho can't feel his legs. He and Jeongin slosh their way through the snow back home. The house is empty, and Minho blinks at the interior of their house, so familiar yet a little out of shape. Jeongin drops his backpack on the ground.

"Good to be back," Jeongin says.

"Yeah," Minho says. "It is."

---

Winter break is nice. Minho cuts himself slack on his diet, pets his cats, and annoys his Instagram followers by spamming their feeds with pictures of said cats. Soonie and Dori welcome his return, while Doongie gives him the cold shoulder. It's irritating, but part of being a cat owner is dealing with grumpiness.

He and Jeongin meet up at Felix's house a lot, because Felix's house is the biggest and has all the new gaming equipment. Most of the time, Woojin and Olivia join them. Minho holds his own in DDR but gets his ass handed over to him at Mario Kart, as expected.

Minho doesn't talk much to people from university, including Jisung, these two weeks. Being home is like being in a different sphere, and since he isn't going to be here for a long time, he spends more time catching up with old friends and talking to his family. This year is different from last year, though, in that at the end of the day Minho can turn his phone on and be guaranteed to have a few messages waiting for him from Jisung and occasionally Changbin.

Minho doesn't want to admit it, but he looks forward to the handful of texts. Changbin's are more practical, like yo do you like this kind of candy [image attached] lmk , while Jisung's are more random , like my friend daehwi and i are getting cheesecake from the local bakery i cant explain how happy i am rn.

Jisung video-calls him one time and demands to meet his cats. They end up spending an hour just following Soonie, Doongie and Dori around with the cam, which only ends with Jisung saying, "Wait, I have to go now, I'm going Christmas shopping."

Which reminds Minho.

"Are you buying Christmas presents?" Minho asks Jeongin. Their family's never been big on gifts, and it's rubbed off Minho as well.

"Not really. I bought candy and that's it," Jeongin replies. "Wait, speaking of which, let me give you your Starburst."

Minho only likes the orange kind, so he gives the yellow and pink ones to Jeongin and the red ones to Felix, who for some reason likes the taste of artificial cherry. Felix is a big celebrator of Christmas, and both Minho and Jeongin panic when Felix hands them their presents- a gift card to the local pet shop for Minho and rings for Jeongin. Every year, they forget to buy something for Felix in return to avoid the embarrassment.

"I got you nothing," Woojin reports.

"Oh, thank god," Minho says. "I got you nothing either."

This is why they're best friends.

---

On Christmas, Minho spends the afternoon chopping vegetables. Over the years, Minho's family has developed an unspoken rule that Christmas is for family, while New Year's is for friends, so on Christmas, Minho, Jeongin, and their mom attempt to collectively make a dinner like they see on the Internet and perhaps achieve it fifty percent.

Minho pulls most of the weight with his noodles and dumplings- he makes extras to portion off to Changbin and Jisung as return Christmas presents- and Jeongin will argue that his stir-fry is edible. With their mom's dessert-

Minho cuts a look at Jeongin. One bite .

One bite, and then we say we're full , Jeongin agrees with a small nod. They take a bite simultaneously. Minho tries to keep his face expressionless. Jeongin's eyebrow jumps, but other than that, he maintains a poker face.

"Not good?" their mom asks.

Minho is honest. "Terrible."

"So polite." She smiles. "I suppose it's fair that now I can mention that a coworker of mine has a son around your age, and-"

"No. Just, no."

"Hear me out," their mom says. "Of course, if you aren't interested in dating, I won't force it, but I promise his son is really nice."

Minho cracks his fingers. He could just say he isn't interested, he knows she won't push it- his mom has said that she'll accept cats instead of grandchildren if it really comes to that- but he can't think of any logical reason to avoid telling the truth. Jisung's part of his life.

"Actually, I'm seeing someone," he blurts out, wincing at the phrasing.

"Minho," their mom says, crossing her arms. "Please don't make an entire boyfriend up."

Jeongin cracks up.

"I'm not making this up," Minho says, mildly offended.

"It's true," Jeongin says, deciding to help him out. "His name is Han Jisung and he's saved with a heart on Minho's phone. I can vouch for his existence."

"Oh, wow," their mom says, stunned. She pauses while cracking open a package of pre-bought cake, having predicted the inedibility of her own dessert. "When did you start dating? Why didn't you tell me?"

Because Minho never tells his mom this kind of stuff, even though he knows she won't judge him for things not working out. Minho's pulse spikes. "It was pretty recent. It's not, serious. So don't make a big deal of it."

Minho wonders if Jisung's told his parents about him yet.

"What does he look like?" she asks. Jeongin fishes his phone out of his pocket, pulling up Instagram and handing it over.

It happens fast. Their mom has quick thumbs- she scrolls down several months in thirty seconds, then taps on a photo in specific that has good lighting. "He's cute," she says, then tries to zoom in to his face. A little red heart appears in the center. "Wait-"

"OH MY GOD," Jeongin yells in panic, and Minho doubles over in laughter. "HOW MANY MONTHS AGO WAS THAT POSTED?"

"Nine?" she says, checking the timestamp, and Jeongin slumps, face buried in his hands. "What's wrong?"

"He's gonna think I'm stalking him," Jeongin says, peeking out from between his fingers. "Oh my god. Jisung's gonna think I like him. My brother's boyfriend."

"Can I unlike it?" she asks while Jeongin melts down. Jeongin stares at the ceiling, shaking his head. "Nevermind, forget I said anything."

"Why do we never ask Jeongin about his love life?" Minho asks.

"Because we all know the situation and it hasn't changed since ninth grade," their mom says. "I'll hold out for another two years or so. If Jeongin hasn't made his move since then, I'll start setting him up with my coworkers' children, don't worry."

"Kill me," Jeongin mutters, and takes another bite of cake.

In reality, there's only one person who Jeongin could be so enamored with, one person that Jeongin could have liked since freshman year and one person that their mom would be so desperate to have as a son-in-law, but Felix is a good person and Minho would prefer not to have to murder him, so Minho likes to pretend not to know who it is.

"Stop being so protective of him," is Woojin's evaluation. "He can make his own life decisions."

"I made my own life decisions, and look where I am now," Minho says, to which Woojin just sighs.

On New Year's, Minho spends the night at Woojin's. They watch anime and eat fried chicken and pizza, and right before midnight Woojin puts on a Tori Kelly song so they can be (in Woojin's words) blessed with her amazing vocals for the next year. Minho's lost track of how many New Year's they've celebrated together in this fashion.

To Minho, Woojin's friendship is strange. People come in and out of Minho's life at whim, but Woojin has stayed for over a decade. It's firsthand evidence outside of family that people- fickle, capricious people- can stick together despite changing over the years, and Minho doesn't believe in or understand love, but he thinks that maybe whatever version of love does exist, it might exist like this.

---

There are noises emanating from the dorm when Minho gets back, yawning into his hand. The train had been delayed, and now it's night.

Minho presses his ear up against the door. They don't sound like sex noises, but Minho can't be too sure. He won't be able to live with himself if he sees Changbin with a one night stand.

"We're not deleting the ad-libs!" Changbin says, words muffled. "Get your hand away from the keyboard!"

"The ad-libs don't sound good !"

"Woojin agreed to do them and you know what Woojin's harmonies are like, are you an idiot?"

Minho is ninety-nine percent sure that Changbin is fully clothed, so he opens the door to see Changbin strangling Jisung with a neck pillow. They freeze. "Oh, hey," Changbin says, removing the pillow. "We were just, making music."

"Or, you know, making the neighbors want to call the cops on you. Lucky not everybody's back from the holidays," Minho says, grimacing. "Is this what your songwriting process is usually like?"

"We have Chan around to mediate most of the time," Changbin says. "But he's still not on campus, so Jisung and I did some stuff on our own. We kinda lost track of time, we've been at it for like six hours."

Six hours. That's how long Minho's train has been delayed. Maybe Jisung has been waiting for him. "Well, I'll leave you guys to it, then," Minho says. "I can crash over at Woojin's-"

"What, no, I'm leaving, I'm not gonna third wheel," Changbin says, standing up. "Don't copy me."

Minho stares in disbelief. "I was the one who was gonna leave-"

"Hey, this is your room, so if anybody should be leaving, it's me," Jisung says, which is such a good point that it makes both Minho and Changbin freeze in their tracks. "We're calling it quits for the night, anyway. Changbin stopped being able to rhyme an hour ago."

"Wait, so who's the third wheel?" Changbin asks. Minho squints, opening his bag and pulling out freshly-laundered clothing. He's too tired for this debate. He gets a cloth and ties it around the clothing in a neat bundle, putting it into his drawer. Changbin snickers from the side because he's a prejudiced asshole who doesn't believe in alternative ways of organization.

"Nobody's the third wheel," Jisung says, after looking like he's solved an intensely difficult calculus problem. "You guys wanna watch a movie? Changbin and I bet awhile ago on It but never got around to seeing it."

"Stephen King's It ," Changbin explains, when Minho is confused by the pronoun. "We both like horror movies. Whoever screams more has to buy lunch."

"You can join the bet," Jisung says.

"Minho isn't allowed to join," Changbin disagrees. "I watched The Conjuring with him last year. He laughed when the crosses turned upside down. Sometimes I don't think Minho's real."

"I'll referee instead," Minho says.

Half an hour into the movie, it's clear that Jisung's going to have to buy lunch. Changbin's scared, but it's more a passive kind of scared, expression contorted and wide-eyed, while Jisung is shrieking at every turn of frame, holding onto Minho's arm like that will be any use if Pennywise crawls out of the screen and attacks them. Meanwhile, Minho's comfortably invested in the storyline. Everything is fictional, so he's more fascinated than anything else.

When the credits roll, Minho goes to turn on the lights and laughs when he sees that Changbin's stuffed Munchlax has migrated its way onto his lap. Changbin is still frozen in the same position as he was at the start of the movie. Jisung looks like he no longer has a soul.

"Okay," Minho says. "So Changbin won."

"What the fuck goes on in Stephen King's mind," Changbin whispers.

"I don't know, but I should probably go back to my dorm," Jisung says, slowly getting off of Minho's bed then making his way to the door, glancing around the room suspiciously. He then eyes the windows. "Shit, it's dark."

There's an obvious solution to that, and it's for Jisung to stay the night. Minho doesn't notice Jisung's questioning gaze, and Changbin's subtle head-shake- the two of them have always been best friends and can communicate nonverbally. "I guess I'll just have to avoid the sewers on the way back, then," Jisung laughs, nervous.

Minho suggests, "I can walk you."

"No, you don't have to," Jisung starts, but thinks better of it and immediately changes tracks. "Actually, please do. Please ."

"Alright," Minho says, putting his coat on.

They walk out into the night. Jisung's dorm is only two blocks away, but Jisung still laces their fingers together in a death grip. "You really weren't scared at all?" Jisung asks.

"No."

Horror movie scares have nothing on the anxiety that sometimes floods his mind.

"Were you at least disturbed?"

Minho thinks about it. "Well, that red balloon Pennywise had was a bit much," he says. "What if it just, like, exploded? Helium everywhere?"

Jisung starts laughing and doesn't stop until they reach his doorway. Before Jisung goes in, he tilts his face up to give Minho a kiss, lips chapped from the weather. Minho thinks he hears something like an I've missed you before the door closes and Minho's alone.

---

Two Fridays later, Minho's eyelids are half-closed when his phone goes off. He frowns, checking his texts.

hey are you awake right now? this is jisung's roommate , the text flashes. can you come pick him up hes veeeery drunk

Minho rubs sleep out of his eyes and stands up. Changbin removes his headphones, raising an eyebrow in question. "Jisung is drunk," Minho says wearily. "I'll go pick him up, who needs sleep anyway."

sure, send me the address, Minho types back, then pockets his phone and heads over to his car. He recalls Jisung telling him yesterday about plans to go to a club with his friends. Minho can't remember the last time he himself went to a club, since he doesn't drink and being the only sober person in the vicinity is distressing. He used to go to dance, and to get laid. Dance practice covers the first thing for him, and the second thing- he's with Jisung, and Minho has morals. Skewed morals, but they're there.

The club is dark, but Minho can tell that he's dressed way too responsibly for this place. He grits his teeth and starts wading through the crush of people. Somebody accidentally grinds on him. He rubs his temples.

"Minho! Minho, is that you?" a vaguely familiar voice says, and Minho turns to see Jeno, who looks way too done with everything. "I'm really sorry for calling you-"

"It's fine."

"Minho," a much more familiar, and much more drunk, voice says, latching onto him like an octopus. Minho slides his arm around Jisung, holding him up. "You're here!"

Minho is tired, and the club is stuffy, but he feels his mouth curve up into a small smile. "Alright, let's tow your drunk ass home."

"I'm not a drunk ass," Jisung protests. "I just took some shots cause the music was sooo bad but, it still doesn't sound good."

Minho laughs, takes a good look at the other. There's a flush settled high on his cheeks, a bright sheen to his eyes. In this state, Jisung is cute, but Minho has also never seen him in attire like this, which is decidedly not cute. But Minho isn't about to think about that while they're standing like this on the dance floor.

"Alright, I'll leave you to him," Jeno says. "Your boyfriend has high standards for DJs."

Minho takes Jisung by the arm and starts pushing through the crush of people toward the door. As soon as they step into the night air, Jisung shivers, presumably because his jeans are ripped and the cold must be like knives against his skin. "Shit, it's cold," he mumbles.

Minho eyes Jisung critically, then takes off his scarf to wrap around the other's neck. "Here you go."

"Thank you," Jisung says, leaning into him. "Thank you for... picking me up, too! Did you hear Jeno call you my boyfriend?" He laughs, and it's like drunk music. "I can't believe that. You're my boyfriend."

Minho doesn't think Jisung has ever called him that to his face before, but then again, Minho won't think anything of what Jisung says when drunk. "How many drinks?" Minho says, rolling his eyes. "Lightweight."

"Not a lightweight," Jisung protests. "Okay kinda a lightweight but still. You're so mean. I might break up with you."

"Yeah, well, get in the car first," Minho sighs, opening the door. He won't think anything of what Jisung says, but that doesn't mean this isn't amusing.

"I'm just kidding please don't break up with me."

Minho revs up the car and drives over to Jisung's dorm. Light spills over the pavement, cuts shadows across Jisung's face. Minho wraps an arm around his shoulder and walks in. He knows what dorm it is by now, and fortunately, Jisung's retained enough motor skills to get his keys out of his pants.

Jisung is going to have to sleep in those pants unless he manages to get them off himself. Minho is not about to try his hand at peeling extremely tight jeans off Jisung's legs. "Where's your aspirin and shit?" he mutters. Jisung waves in the direction of nowhere, and Minho goes to search the cabinet.

"Yo, look at this fruit," Jisung says, talking about the fruit set on the desk. Minho does look at the fruit, because they're all exotic, tropical fruits, a pineapple and a mango and maybe a passion/dragonfruit.

"Why do you need this fruit," Minho says, not expecting an answer.

He gets one, though. "We wanted to see what kind of fruits Jongho across the hall could break," Jisung says, like this makes perfect sense. "These were the survivors."

Fruit spiel over, Minho continues his cabinet search, until he hears Jisung say, "Hey, mom?" and then Minho nearly hits his head on the cabinet top trying to stand up. "Can you come over, I don't know how to cut this uh, pinecone?"

Jisung's talking into his phone, to his mom . Drunk . Minho immediately snatches the phone out of Jisung's hand, and Jisung looks at him, confused. "Hey, Mrs. Han," Minho says. "My name's Minho. Jisung's kind of sick right now. Fever."

"He didn't sound sick to me," comes a dry voice from the other end of the phone. Minho wonders if Jisung vomiting- oh, shit, that's a possibility- will help or hurt his case. "Anyway, you said you were Minho? Lee Minho?"

"Yeah." He is Lee Minho, and this is really his life. Changbin would give him so much shit right now.

"Jisung talks about you." Her tone of voice gives absolutely nothing away. "All good things, I promise."

Minho coughs. "Thank you."

"It's a bit late to be calling, so I'm going to go to bed now," she says. "Take good care of him."

"I will," Minho says, wondering why his mouth suddenly feels so dry. "It's nice to meet you. Goodnight."

"Nice to meet you too."

The call clicks off, and Minho stares at the phone for a few seconds before he starts back to reality. Jisung's dozing off, and Minho kicks his shin to keep him awake. There's a water bottle on the nightstand, half-full, and Minho opens it and hands it over. "You gotta drink some of this, alright?"

"Okay," Jisung says, taking a sip. "This tastes weird."

"Why were you talking with my mom?" Jisung mutters.

"I was talking with her because you called her."

"Makes sense," Jisung says, closing his eyes. "She doesn't know that we're dating. I wanna tell her but I'll feel stupid if it turns out you don't really like me."

Minho doesn't get why it feels like a bucket of ice water has been poured atop his head. Maybe it's a question of even ground- he's told his parents but Jisung hasn't. That's it. Minho turns on his heel and leaves the room, shutting the door behind him.

Jisung is drunk. He doesn't know what he's saying.

---

Minho forgets that Valentine's Day is a thing until Felix starts talking about how he bought a five pound bag of gummy worms because they were on holiday sale. "I'm an idiot ," Felix complains. "What am I gonna do with them?"

Hyunjin can't stop laughing. "You're this close to turning into my dad. He bought ten boxes of peanuts once because they were fifty off."

"Can I tell someone I like them with a five pound bag of gummy worms?" Felix wonders. "Is this a viable option?"

Minho laughs along, too, until he realizes that this year Valentine's Day is an actual concern of his, and then he stops laughing. Last year he just pulled faces at the heart decorations around campus and reposted grumpy cat memes, pulled from the cemetery of the internet to embody bitter single souls everywhere.

He doesn't give a crap about the holiday, he doesn't do romance. But-

yo han jisung , Minho types, suddenly feeling discomfort about the blue heart emoji that is still part of Jisung's contact name.

hi lee minho

Minho decides to just kill Jisung's expectations right off the bat. i forgot vday existed you arent getting anything

oh thats okay , Jisung says. i forgot it existed too. can i just come over and hang out feb 14 w/ u?

This Valentine's Day, Minho pulls faces at the heart decorations around campus but reposts regular cat memes. Felix posts a picture on Instagram holding up a peace sign, captioned no date no problem. Jeongin comes over with a cup of gummy worms; at Minho's confusion, Jeongin just wearily explains he now has a lot. Changbin covers their beds in clothing because he's going on a date and can't decide what to wear.

"It really doesn't matter," Minho says. "Your face will kill the vibe anyway."

Changbin looks up, gaze murderous. "I swear, Minho-"

Minho decides to stop teasing and picks up a navy blue shirt and black jeans. "Wear this."

Jisung comes over in the afternoon, bag slung over his shoulder, saying that he has a paper due and needs to focus, so nobody bother him. Changbin points out he could just go to the library. Jisung retorts that the library is so quiet it makes him feel like he's in a cemetery, before opening his laptop and pulling up Google Drive.

Minho makes Jisung close Atari Breakout, which is open on another tab.

Changbin leaves for his date at seven, and Minho and Jisung make fun of him on his way out the door. "Like you guys are any better," Changbin says finally, which actually succeeds in shutting Minho up long enough for Changbin to successfully get out the room.

"Don't tell him I said this, but he looks good," Jisung says.

"Don't tell him I said this, but I agree," Minho says. "Do you know who he's meeting up with? He wouldn't tell me."

"Wouldn't tell me, either, but it isn't anyone we know. I hope it goes well for him."

Minho nods, cracking his knuckles, then flips another page of his book. Jisung yawns and types for another ten minutes before he slams his laptop closed. "If I have to write another word I'll die."

Minho understands the feeling. "Does the paper have to have a certain word count?"

"Yeah, eight thousand. I'm pretty close, I just need another five hundred or so, but literally I can't think of anything," Jisung groans. He rolls over onto his back, shifting until his head is on Minho's thigh, legs dangling off of the bed. "Damn, too many muscles. You're not comfortable at all."

Minho tenses up his thigh just to be irritating, and Jisung looks at him, betrayed.

Minho gets through another chapter of his book before he sets it down. "Changbin said you were a romantic," he says. "But you're really not."

Jisung lifts his head. "What do you mean?"

Minho shrugs. "I thought you would care about Valentine's Day and stuff, but you don't." He frowns. "Unless you do. Then I'm wrong."

"Chocolate usually comes from underpaid labor, and don't even get me started on the environmental impacts of flowers, so you're right about the Valentine's Day part," Jisung says. "But I am a romantic."

"I don't see it."

"You know how Changbin basically lost it on you when we first started going out? I had to tell him to calm down." Jisung sits up, resting his weight on his palms. "I used to have the worst crushes on people, but I would never do anything about it."

This is new information. Minho doesn't get it, he never let any crushes balloon to unmanageable sizes.

Jisung bounces his knee. "I was good at crushing on people, but I didn't think about what came after. I guess I thought if I liked them, and they liked me, then it would solve everything. Happy ever after and all that."

Minho can't stop himself from making a face. " Really ?"

So Minho doesn't know his dad, only knows that he left sometime after Jeongin was born. He doesn't think about his dad, and doesn't psychoanalyze the effects of being raised by a single mother, but he figures he has a good enough reason not to believe in happy ever afters.

"Don't judge me," Jisung pleads. "But what happened was that senior year of high school, Changbin told me maybe I should try to ask the person I liked out. I did, because we were both going to college anyway. I got rejected, it sucked, and I ate a lot of ice cream. I was bitter. And then after awhile I forgot to be bitter."

Huh.

"Being a romantic doesn't sound like such a bad thing," Minho says. He can't imagine having such thought processes himself, but he's never liked how cynical he was, either.

"Maybe." Jisung hums. "But chocolate and flowers, that was never what I thought a relationship was supposed to be like. Not even then."

"What'd you think it was going to be like, then?"

There's a pause. "Nevermind. Don't worry about it." Jisung cuts a gaze around the room.

The easiest way to make sure Minho will never let something go is to make it classified information.

"Tell me," he says, bracing his hands on Jisung's shoulders.

"This is embarrassing enough, I'm not telling you."

"Yes, you are," Minho says, narrowing his eyes.

Jisung says a final no, I'm not , before leaning in to press their lips together. Jisung kisses to kill, wrapping his arms around Minho's neck and pulling him close until there's zero space between their bodies. Minho forgets that he's supposed to be asking a question. He probably forgets his own name.

They finally break apart after being reminded that oxygen is a necessary component of life. Jisung's mouth is shiny, swollen. "I think I should go back to writing my paper now," he says, like the distraction is all on Minho.

"You asshole, I hope you never hit eight thousand words," Minho says, except the statement is probably undermined by how breathless he is.

Jisung does, however, hit eight thousand words. After he does so he pulls up the karaoke app on his phone, and after three songs where Jisung sings solo he finally succeeds in getting Minho to try it out, too, where Minho embarrasses himself trying to hit high notes and riffs.

Changbin comes back glowing. He does the rap in Super Bass and gets a 100, which irritates Jisung to no end, and when Jisung leaves Minho finally remembers that he was supposed to get Jisung to answer the question.

It's okay. He thinks he gets it.

---

Some things, though, Minho will never get. Or predict.

"Are you gonna tell Minho?" he hears Hyunjin whisper to Felix after dance practice.

"I can't tell Minho, he'll kill me," Felix whispers back.

"Well, start digging your grave now," Minho says, startling both of them. "Because you're gonna tell me."

Felix and Hyunjin jump apart, expressions like deer caught in the headlights. Hyunjin says, "Oh, look at the time, I gotta blast," and hightails it out of there. Felix stares after Hyunjin's back in betrayal.

Minho looks at Felix expectantly, and Felix's Adam's Apple bobs as he swallow. But then Felix's eyes glint, determined, standing his ground.

Minho's more curious than anything as to what this is about. "So? What's up?"

"I-" Felix reaches up, checking his pulse. "I like Jeongin."

Oh.

Minho should have seen this coming. Or maybe not- Felix always seemed to look at Jeongin in a platonic way, but Minho hasn't seen much of their interactions since they started university.

"You're right," Minho says. "I might kill you."

Felix smiles. "Good to know."

"Are you going to do anything about it?" Minho wonders if Felix knows that his feelings are returned. To Minho, Jeongin is obvious, but it's often those who are involved that are blind to what's happening. Minho pushes down the part of him that starts losing it over the idea of Jeongin dating somebody, trying to focus.

"Maybe."

Minho scoffs at Felix's uncertainty.

"I like him a lot," Felix says, firm. Paired with how deep his voice is, the sincerity is enough to stop Minho in his tracks, enough to make Minho wonder . "I'm only sorry it took me so long to realize."

Minho shakes his head, and eyes Felix with a glare. "This isn't my issue," he says, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Figure it out yourself."

He starts to walk back to his dorm, then switches tracks to head over to Woojin's place. Woojin is better with this kind of shit than he is.

While Minho and Jeongin are on good terms (although Jeongin likes to complain about Minho's personality and generally be all-around disrespectful), Jeongin never updates Minho on his crush anymore.

It was around the two-year mark of Jeongin liking Felix, when Minho was in eleventh grade and Jeongin was in tenth, that Jeongin stopped. Because Minho told him to cut it out if Jeongin wasn't going to make a move, since it wasn't going anywhere. Jeongin said that he'd wait. Minho said that was stupid. Jeongin said Minho just didn't get it, and then didn't talk to Minho for two weeks after that.

Jeongin's right. Minho doesn't get it. He's never gotten this stuff. He doesn't get why people have crushes, when it turns their faces all red and renders them stupid and incoherent. He doesn't get why anyone would continue to like someone even when it's clearly one-sided and brings pain- that one month in twelfth grade that Felix went out with Eric Sohn, Jeongin's smiles were slightly fake.

Minho doesn't get feelings, period.

"Hey," Minho says. Woojin is sitting on the bed, eating Pringles and pretending to do homework. His roommate is out with a class. "Guess what?"

"Haikyuu!! is being renewed for another season?"

"I mean, I actually did read something about that, but that's not the point here. Felix told me he likes Jeongin. Please. What the fuck ."

Woojin gestures at Minho with the Pringles container. "Tell me you're not gonna kill Felix," he says, and Minho shrugs. Woojin knows him well. "I don't see a problem with it. I'm happy for them."

"Yeah but like," Minho says, "What if they start dating?"

"That's generally what happens when two people like each other," Woojin says. Minho crosses his arms, not buying it. "Hey, Minho, heads up. You're in a relationship."

"No, I'm not."

Woojin looks at him, unimpressed.

Because are we ?

"Jisung and I, we just work," Minho says. He doesn't know how else to explain it. The two of them match well, and the context they chose to match in just happens to be that of a relationship. "The dating part is more a label."

As soon as the words leave his mouth, he can tell they're wrong. Woojin's eyes narrow, latching onto his poor phrasing. "What do you mean, a label?"

Minho fumbles, unsure of when this became about him. "Like..."

Woojin stares at him as if he's re-evaluating everything he knows. "You do like him."

"Of course I like him," Minho says. Jisung is fun and easy to be around, they can talk about anything, and Jisung doesn't shrug him off when Minho wants to hold hands.

"Like, the way Jeongin likes Felix." Minho wonders how Woojin is stating facts but manages to be asking questions at the same time.

Really, Minho doesn't even understand the way Jeongin likes Felix. Jeongin gets all starry-eyed whenever he looks in Felix's direction, and back when Jeongin still talked about Felix to Minho, Jeongin had described a fast heartbeat and an inability to think straight.

To Minho, it sounds like a disease. Heartbreak sounds like a disease, too. Minho never knows what to say when it afflicts one of his friends. Romantic relationships don't tend to last, and Minho doesn't want for Felix and Jeongin's friendship to sour because of a break-up.

"Look, I know what I'm doing, alright," Minho says at the present moment. He doesn't know why his words come out so defensive, but Woojin's eying him like they're back in tenth-grade chemistry and Minho's about to blow up another beaker.

"You better," Woojin says. Minho looks away. Why does he have to explain himself? He and Jisung function, and that's the most important part. Not everybody can be as smart and understand their lives as well as Woojin.

"Can I drink some of your Pringles?" Minho asks, changing the subject, and Woojin passes him the can. Minho shakes the can to pulverize the Pringles to shards then tilts it to his mouth.

Woojin presses his fingers to his temples, muttering, why are we friends again?

---

Wednesday, Minho comes back to his dorm room to see Jisung and Changbin hunched over a laptop. As soon as Minho walks through the door, Jisung pulls his headphones down and slams the laptop closed, like some incompetent hacker caught mid-act.

"What are you doing?" Minho asks, quirking an eyebrow. "Wait, do I even want to know?"

"We're not doing anything bad, Jisung's just being dramatic," Changbin says. "He's-"

Jisung slams a hand over Changbin's mouth, which Changbin removes, to continue speaking. "He's putting together a piece to submit to the music showcase."

"Oh, that's it?" Minho can't figure out why Jisung wouldn't want him to know that.

"Anyway, I'm telling him that his song's plenty good and he should stop fussing over it," Changbin says. "But you might want to leave the room right now so headphones don't get accidentally thrown in your face."

Minho obliges.

Still, the incident is on his mind, and when Jisung slides into the seat across from him the next morning, he asks, "So why didn't you want me to find out about the music showcase thing?"

Jisung groans. "You've got your interrogation voice going. It's too early in the morning to be grilled."

"Would you prefer to be grilled later in the day?"

"You know, I can't stand you sometimes."

Minho stares him down.

Jisung shifts and caves. "So, the music department does this annual showcase." Oh, Minho knows about that- Jeongin and Woojin are auditioning for it. "Changbin and Chan are focusing on getting 3RACHA on the university radio so they don't care, but I do. There's limited performance spots and I want one."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Minho says. As a dancer, he fights for performance spots all the time- he lives to be onstage.

"Yeah, there's just the chance I won't make it," Jisung says. "I didn't want to tell you unless I made it in."

"I don't think you'll have much of a problem getting in," Minho says. He qualifies his words because the university is full of talent, and art is subjective. "But in the case you don't, you don't have to feel embarrassed around me. God knows how many times I've been shot down during auditions."

Minho gets it, though. The need to prove himself, the humiliation when he falls short. Even more, he understands the painful process of muscling through the pain of being second best, dusting off his knees and getting back up to try again. Jisung is like him in that sense.

"I'm just scared of not being good enough," Jisung says quietly.

Minho shakes his head. "Don't be scared of that."

He personally doesn't let himself think he isn't good enough anymore, because it gets in the way of improvement. But with Jisung, Minho doesn't want Jisung on that train of thought because it's a lie. Jisung is more than good enough.

"You would say that, you aren't scared of anything," Jisung says, words teasing in an attempt to lighten the mood. "You didn't even blink when we were watching It."

"One, I think you did enough screaming for both of us," Minho says. Jisung huffs, opening his mouth to retort. "And two, I'm scared of heights."

"Really?" Jisung asks, and Minho nods. "Huh. Why?"

"It's too early in the morning for this kind of conversation."

"You started it. But I won't ask you too much about it if you don't want." Jisung smiles as he pulls his breakfast out of his backpack.

Minho hates his fear of heights. He's never been able to shake it, although he's tried - he's gone on rollercoasters, climbed on rooftops, the whole nine yards. But the sight of the ground so far from his feet always makes him dizzy.

He remembers when he was little, he and his mom had walked into the first floor of a skyscraper, and she took him up to the top to surprise him with the view. Minho hadn't realized they'd been in an elevator, and when they walked out onto the observation deck and looked to see the ground miles under, he started screaming. Suffice to say, they haven't visited many skyscrapers after that.

The fear is part of why he chose to take physics, to understand the world and the mechanics of gravity, but even though he now knows the exact formula of a fall, when he's up there, it doesn't matter. He's terrified. The fear is usually irrational- his brain knows that he won't fall, but his body never listens.

Humans are strange like that.

---

This time, Jisung's fear prove to be irrational as well.

A few days later, Minho is walking across campus when Jisung comes sprinting across the field. Jisung stops and falls forward, hands on his knees. "I got in," he gasps. "I got a spot in the showcase."

"Told you so."

"You'll come, right?" Jisung says, swinging his backpack over to his stomach to pull a ticket out. "You better come."

Minho gets his wallet and swaps bills for a ticket. He's bad at compliments- if he tries to tell Jisung he's happy for him, it will come out fake. "I don't know," Minho says, just to mess with him. "I might forget."

"You're just kidding, you wouldn't miss it for the world," Jisung says, so confident now that he's secured a spot. Confidence looks good on Jisung, though. There's a shine in his eyes and a glow to his cheeks.

Minho wonders what Jisung looks like onstage. Jisung's seen Minho perform before, coming to a couple of competitions and recitals, but not the other way around.

Changbin says that Jisung does a one-eighty when he's performing, and Minho knows this is true just from hearing Jisung rap on SoundCloud. It makes sense that Jisung would change. He's a multifaceted person, and Jisung has said before that he's okay with being seen as cute, but he's tired of being seen as cute all the time.

Minho doesn't get why Jisung would be so bothered, but Minho doesn't have a cute bone in his body and therefore can't relate. Minho doesn't think cuteness and innocence are bad traits at all, though. He could use some more of both.

"It's just that it's hard to get people to look at me," Jisung has tried to describe. "People don't look at me when I'm me."

"I'm looking at you just fine."

Jisung just blushed and turned away, clearly not agreeing but done with the conversation just the same. Minho thinks he understands. Jisung isn't his type, if Minho even has a type anymore. And Minho likes Jisung just the way he is, likes all the parts of the personality Jisung has presented to Minho thus far.

However, he can't deny that he's curious to see what Jisung is like onstage.

---

Woojin and Jeongin make it in as well, and both try to him sell him tickets. Minho already has one courtesy of Jisung, and as much as he talks about forgetting big events like this, he really won't.

It's t-minus three weeks until the showcase, and Minho has the ticket in his wallet and the notification set on Google Calendar, when Jisung knocks on the door of Minho and Changbin's dorm.

Changbin opens the door. "Hey."

Jisung's holding a pillow shaped like a cake, annoyed. "You know, when people text, you're supposed to text back," he says. Changbin shrugs, as if to say, sorry . "I was just here to ask where the place in the library you usually pull all-nighters is."

"Oh, wow, what paper did you procrastinate on to have to pull an all-nighter?"

Jisung glares. "I'm going to the library to sleep . I've been sexiled. Or, well, I'm sexiling myself. Jeno's too nice to ask."

"Nice wingman skills," Minho says. "My roommate would never do that for me."

"Fuck you," Changbin says, then turns back to Jisung. "Can't you, like, un-sexile yourself?"

"You can't un-sexile yourself," Jisung says, rubbing his temples. "Anyway, thanks for your nonexistent help. I guess I'll find a spot in the library on my own." He turns around, hugging his cake pillow to his chest.

"You can just stay here," Minho suggests.

Jisung's eyes widen, and he hesitates, unsure. It's a strange reaction to a strange truth- Minho and Jisung, despite having spent many hours in each other's company at this point, have never spent a night together.

Changbin makes a face of disgust. "Do I have to sexile myself?"

"Oh my god," Jisung says, slamming his face into the pillow. " No . You know what, I'm just gonna go now, okay?"

"We're not going to have sex," Minho says, immune to embarrassment. "Jisung, if you really want to spend the night in the library, you can, but since you're already here, I'm giving you the option to stay."

It isn't a big deal. He doesn't understand the sense of vertigo that overtakes his whole body.

"I guess I'll stay," Jisung says, after awhile. "I mean- are you two okay with it?"

"I've just got some worksheets I need to finish up, I'm going to go to sleep soon, too," Changbin says. "As long as you guys don't do anything, I'm okay with it."

"You have such little faith in us," Minho says. Well, he personally has no issue with making out in front of his roommate, but he knows Jisung wouldn't do that. "And yeah, I'm okay with it. Your pillow's cute, by the way."

"Thanks," Jisung says, and closes the door behind him. "So, uh- do I sleep? In your bed?"

Changbin makes an obnoxious show of gagging and putting his headphones on at these words. Minho flips him off, then scoots over so that he's lying close to the wall, patting at the space next to him.

Jisung eyes him in hesitation, then climbs onto the bed, mattress dipping under his weight. The bed is tiny, so there isn't much room for both of them, but it's a cold night and the extra body heat is welcome. Minho shuts his eyes and turns around. After awhile, he feels Jisung's forced stillness relax into something more natural, and then Minho falls asleep and feels nothing at all.

---

Minho wakes up early by habit.

Early morning sunlight spills through the windows, turning everything gold. Minho can't move his limbs, because Jisung has his face tucked into Minho's neck, an arm slung around his waist, legs tangled together.

For a second, Minho thinks that Jisung is a one night stand.

But no, it's the complete opposite. Both of them are fully clothed, and Minho feels warm rather than sore. There's a moment when he's wholly at peace until he's overtaken by a flood of anxiety that drowns out all logic, all reasonable thought, leaving him with only a mind set in overdrive. Minho extricates himself out of Jisung's grasp, trying to contain his panic.

Jisung's eyes are buttoned shut, expression relaxed. He makes a small sound when Minho pulls away but doesn't wake up. Minho stares, wide-eyed, heart racing. Jisung isn't a one night stand, he won't leave in the morning never to be contacted again, but Minho can't even stand thinking about that scenario.

He wants Jisung to stay forever.

But Minho doesn't believe in forever. He makes fun of love songs and is allergic to discussions of relationships and can't understand why his little brother is willing to wait for something that could turn out to be nothing.

Everything with Jisung has been so natural. So natural that Minho hasn't felt anything. Jisung took his hand and led him into the elevator, and Minho was too enamored from the start to feel the floor dropping out from underneath his feet. He looks out onto the observation deck now, to see the ground a mile away, and he's so scared.

He's been afraid of falling his entire life, and now, the glass is shattering underneath him, gravity poised to bring him to earth.

---

The discovery that Jisung owns his heart prevents Minho from contacting the other for the next two days, but Minho, while one to like space, has never been one to run away. When Monday rolls around, he gets up and goes to the Main Hall, steeling himself for confrontation.

Jisung is already there. He doesn't ask why Minho hasn't been responding to his texts.

"Hey, how was your weekend?" Jisung says instead, taking his plastic container out of his backpack.

Minho blurts out, "Let's just be friends."

Something snaps in Minho, brittle. He regrets the words almost as soon as they're out of his mouth.

It takes Jisung a moment or two to register what Minho said, and then he puts the container away. "That isn't funny."

"I'm not kidding."

Jisung stands up, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. "Let's go talk outside," he says, and Minho follows him until Jisung sits on one of the benches next to the tapioca statue. At this time, nobody's here.

"Okay, what the fuck?" Jisung asks. "What brought this on?"

Minho forces himself to shrug. "I just figured we shouldn't date."

"Did I do something wrong?" Finally, Jisung's voice loses its tone of disbelief, seeming to accept that this is reality.

"No. We're just better off friends."

Jisung doesn't say anything for a long time. Minho can't tell what's going on in Jisung's mind, doesn't even know what's going on in his own mind. His words are garbage. Are they even capable of being friends?

"How are we better off friends? We were never friends," Jisung says, anger coloring his words. "We started going out right away, after that stunt I pulled in the coffee shop-"

"All you said was that you wanted to date someone," Minho says. "It didn't have to be me, I just agreed to the experiment."

"An experiment."

"Yes."

"I'm a fucking experiment," Jisung says. "Our relationship was a physics lab?"

Not a physics lab, maybe a psych one , Minho thinks. Jisung said that he wanted to date someone, and Minho happened to volunteer. It could have been anyone. Minho was just there. He isn't that good of a person. He can't be that good of a boyfriend.

One day, Jisung will find somebody to actually match his personality and talent, and all Minho can do is hold him back.

"I can't believe you," Jisung says, when Minho doesn't respond. Jisung laughs, dry and humorless. "But you aren't kidding."

Minho shrugs. "I thought we already established that."

Jisung shakes his head. "I should've listened to Changbin," he says, tilting his head back. There's a moment of unbelievable tension before Jisung snaps. "Look, I must be crazy. If you said it was an experiment a week after we went out, I'd be fine with it. I'd be sad, but I'd be fine with it. I didn't know you were this much of a sadist."

Minho isn't scared of anger, but the sheer acidity of Jisung's words scrape like a knife at his chest.

"I'll let you lead me on up to here, but fuck no, we're not going to be friends," Jisung spits. "We weren't friends before and everything was just fine, and we're definitely not going to be friends now."

Minho tilts his head. "Alright."

It's probably better this way, anyway. A clean cut.

"I'm gonna go to class now," Jisung mutters. He walks off, but not before sending Minho another scathing glance. Jisung's eyes are glossy, and it should dull the effect of the glare, but all it does is make Minho's chest hurt more. Minho fidgets with his backpack to have something to do with his hands.

This is for the best. He's back to the first floor, both feet on the ground. But there's no sense of safety. Instead, he feels untethered and lost, a balloon without a string.

---

Minho must be stuck in a sitcom or something because not even five hours after he loses a boyfriend, Jeongin gains one. felix asked me out , Minho reads from his phone. i said yes

Minho's stomach feels stretched out, like saltwater taffy. Jeongin's text doesn't sound that excited, no exclamation marks or firework emojis, but Minho knows better. Jeongin is just hesitant to talk to him about Felix because they never talk about Felix. Minho isn't about to kill Jeongin's vibe with a sarcastic retort, though.

good for you, he types, and realizes that it sounds like a sarcastic retort. Oh, well. He chucks his phone to the side and stares up at the ceiling. He is happy about this new development, he realizes, but the happiness is flavored bitter.

His mind is so confused from the influx of emotion that Minho swears off feelings for the rest of his life.

Changbin walks in, and considering that he doesn't spare Minho much of a glance, Minho figures that shit hasn't hit the fan yet. Or maybe Changbin has heard and he just doesn't care. Minho hopes that he's that lucky.

But Minho knows he isn't lucky at all, judging by the root of regret that's rapidly growing in his chest. He doesn't go to the Main Hall the next morning, unable to peel himself off his bed for the first time in months. In class, he's distracted, notes a mess. He can't bring himself to care.

The reality of what he did is sinking in.

"Hey, you okay?" Woojin asks. "You're like, more dead than usual."

Minho rolls his eyes. "Thanks. I'm fine."

"Are you sure, did anything happen-"

"Mind your own business," Minho says, tone sharp, and by the hurt expression on Woojin's face Minho registers that he's being more of an asshole than usual, but instead of apologizing he just heads off to his next class. It's like there's an anvil weighing him down, he's surrounded by people but he feels so goddamn lonely.

By the time he gets to dance practice, he's torn between skipping and punching someone, but he tells himself to get over whatever the fuck he's feeling right now. He's been single for the majority of his life and been just fine with it. Cutting things off with Jisung is just like going from a hot tub to a cold pool. It's a shock at first, but he'll get used to it.

Fine. He might be just a little heartbroken.

---

In dance class he finds out that heartbreak isn't the creative inspiration that some people insist it to be. It dulls his movements, fills his bones with lead, slashes his concentration. Minho trips, bruising his legs. His mouth feels like acid. The pain in his kneecaps is almost a welcome distraction.

"You good? You seemed kind of out of it today," Hyunjin remarks.

Minho bites back a sharp response. "Yeah, I just need to practice more," he mumbles. "By the way, I promise I'll have the choreography for that audition by next week."

Hyunjin waves a dismissive hand. "I know. You're going to do fine with that," he says. He shifts his weight, and Minho gets the feeling that he isn't going to like what will next come out of Hyunjin's mouth. "And... Seungmin says he wants to kill you."

Minho laughs. It's harsh and it hurts his throat. "Understandable. He listens to you, right? Can you tell him not to get blood on the bed when he does that? Changbin's kind of sensitive about that kind of thing."

"Minho-"

"Seungmin's majoring in pre-law, too, right? Damn, he'll probably be able to argue himself out of jail time even if he does get caught," Minho continues. "Some people just have it all."

"Can we not talk about the logistics of your murder?" Hyunjin scowls. "I don't know what to say."

"Too bad." Minho clenches his teeth, pulling the straps of his duffel bag so tight he loses circulation. "Do you want to kill me, too?"

"No. I'm your friend," Hyunjin says simply. It sounds a whole lot like taking sides, and Minho is grateful for Hyunjin's words but mostly he's just so tired. He wishes he could rewind time back to the coffee shop and slap his past self in the face, or at least yell at himself for playing with fire.

"Where's Felix?" Minho asks. Felix usually waits up for them so that they can walk out altogether.

"Uh," Hyunjin says, eyes shifty, and Minho just knows. He grabs his bag and runs outside, taking a turn to the hallway with the vending machine. Felix and Jeongin are standing in front of it, holding hands and talking. Even from this distance, Minho can see the blush on Felix's face, the starry look in Jeongin's eyes.

Felix raises a hand to check his pulse and Minho walks away.

Hyunjin is still standing in the dance room. "You forgot your deodorant," he says, throwing it over.

Minho nods in thanks and sticks it in his bag. "I can never buy anything from the vending machine again," he says. "I mean it's okay because I never had money anyway."

Hyunjin's eyes widen. "They were kissing?!"

"No, they were holding hands." Kissing would be infinitely worse, though. Minho makes a mental note to himself to always knock on Jeongin's door from now on to preserve his own sanity.

Hyunjin smiles. "Cute."

"Not cute," Minho says, then checks his watch. "Shit, I got a paper due tomorrow, I'll see you."

He practically sprints out of the building. His eyes burn, and he doesn't understand why. On the way back, Minho stops at the convenience store to buy ramen, then heads back to the dorm. He sees a boy with brown hair on the way back and for a split second thinks it's Jisung.

Minho messes with the ramen package and flashes back to the scene in the hall. He wonders if he's happy for the and finds he is. Romance novelists and scriptwriters might exaggerate, but they're not as wrong as Minho thought. It's the sentiment that's important. The part about liking and being liked back.

And Minho can't do that. He isn't cut out for relationships. Whoever built him didn't leave room for another person at his side. And that's fine , he thinks, as he gets back to the dorm.

When he opens the door, it's to see Changbin with every inch of his body puffed up in anger. It isn't a lot of inches, but it's intimidating nonetheless.

"What the fuck?" Changbin screams, and Minho is taken back to a few months ago, right when the coffee shop incident went down.

"I'm sorry, the store was out of the spicy chicken ramen so I had to go with the beef instead," Minho says, holding the package up. "Don't look so mad about it, I tried my best."

"You know what I mean," Changbin snaps. "Jisung's sad. Whatever you did, fix it."

"I'm not responsible for Jisung's feelings," Minho says, clicking into the zone where he's cold and emotionless and untouchable. "Whatever I did, he'll get over it."

"Are you serious ? You hurt my friend! You've been dating him for months and then suddenly you just cut things off, what is wrong with you?"

"So you want to force me to date him again?" Minho asks, even though Changbin didn't mean it like that. They both know it.

Changbin is so mad that Minho wonders if Changbin will punch him. Minho wouldn't mind it. "I want you to fix this."

"Weren't you the one who was so against us dating, anyway?"

"I said that months ago," Changbin says. "And then I took it back, because you guys were good together. What happened?"

"I found I couldn't do this whole dating thing," Minho says. If one asked him to explain the logic behind his words, he wouldn't be able to. There's only this big tangled knot in his head. "I told him we could be friends."

"You put a bullet wound in his pride, that's what you did."

"Pride heals." Minho sets the ramen down. "Look, I'm sorry he's sad, but I can't fix it. Okay?"

Changbin stares at him with a mixture of disbelief and loathing. "Why are you such a goddamn asshole ?" There's a moment where Changbin's hand raises, ready to strike, but then he stuffs his laptop in his backpack, and walks out the door.

Minho takes his own laptop out of his backpack, sitting down on the bed. He does have a paper due the next day, but he finds himself switching aimlessly between tabs. By the time he looks up again, two hours have passed and he's gotten two paragraphs written. He puts music on and tries to focus, but it's a love song.

Fuck this shit.

Changbin doesn't come back for the night, and Minho wonders if he's pulling an all-nighter at the library. Minho wonders if Changbin will just avoid him for the rest of time. Minho pulls twenty dumplings from his frozen dumpling stash and heats them up for dinner.

The dumplings taste good, make him feel slightly better. He falls asleep with a half-finished paper, still wearing his clothes from yesterday.

---

Minho might as well live in a single room after that, because Changbin becomes a ghost, and the one time Changbin is in the room at the same time as Minho, Changbin pretends that Minho doesn't exist, and the temperature in the room plunges a whole two degrees with how cold Changbin's expression is.

It's okay. Minho's life is the same as it is six months ago, studying and dancing and working and procrastinating, except for some reason now it feels empty, and Minho constantly feels sick. His stomach hurts and the hours feel too long. He wakes up at night with his whole body tense. He would blame it on malfunctioning meds, but he knows that isn't the case.

On Friday, Minho dresses to go to a club for the first time in months.

His jeans feel scratchy and the silver necklace he's wearing seems to choke him. When he walks in, he's overwhelmed with a sudden wave of exhaustion. It's too dark, and he's here to dance and get laid but he doesn't want to. His whole body feels heavy. Half an hour later, he finds himself with a drink in his hand. Shit, alcohol smells terrible.

He stares at the cup and wonders if he should drink it. It isn't a good decision with his meds but he can't bring himself to care right now. "Should I drink this?" he asks the girl next to him.

She pats his hand. "No," she says, and Minho has never been one to question the wisdom of drunk girls so he slides the drink away and stands up, walking out the door.

He checks his watch. It's barely ten at night, and he doesn't want to go back to his dorm, so he finds himself walking down the street toward Woojin's complex.

He knocks on the door. By some miracle Woojin opens it. "Is Jungwoo in?" Minho asks.

"No." Woojin eyes his attire. "Did you get lost on your way to the club?"

"Very funny. It's just the DJ was terrible so I left," Minho says, and his voice cracks because that's something Jisung would say. "I'm bored, do you wanna watch anime? Or kick my ass at Mario Kart?"

Woojin looks at him. "Do you wanna change?"

Minho thinks for a second that Woojin is referring to his personality, but then Minho realizes that Woojin is talking about his clothes. Right. Minho's jeans are cutting off his circulation. "Yeah, but I left my bundles back in my room so I'm stuck in this."

Woojin lends him sweatpants and a t-shirt. Minho changes into them, sticking his jewelry into the pockets, and settles next to Woojin on the couch. Woojin has his laptop balanced on his thighs, window open to a simple two-player game that they found back in third grade and have occasionally played since. Minho poises his fingers on the ASDW keys and accidentally kills his avatar moving her to the right.

"Why am I not dying in real life," Minho mutters.

"Not funny." Woojin glares at him. Minho looks away and Woojin's gaze softens. "Do you want me to make tea?"

"Not liking coffee doesn't equal liking tea."

Woojin shrugs. "Fine, then I guess I'll ask you about Jisung dry."

"Suddenly I like tea. Preferably with copious amounts of alcohol in it," Minho says. Woojin looks at him, unimpressed. "Who told you about that, anyway?"

"Well, it wasn't you ," Woojin says. "So I had to hear it from everybody else. But I want to hear your side of it now."

"There are more important things to talk about. Like, for example, what did you and Jungwoo end up doing with the forty-eight pack of Pepsi that Jungwoo got for modeling in that commercial?"

"He used it in a science experiment."

Woojin then says nothing else. He's the kind of person who is okay with silence while Minho is not, which makes it easy for Woojin to stage an interrogation. Minho tries to keep his mouth shut, crashing his avatar onscreen multiple times. The bottom of the laptop heats on their thighs.

"I'm doing fine," Minho finally says, when he can't stand the quiet anymore. "Really."

"Really? I don't think you are." Woojin leans back. "Why'd you cut things off?"

"It wasn't working out," Minho says. Well, it was, but Minho was eliminating the risk of things not working out in the future. Woojin isn't convinced by logic like that, though, so Minho won't explain it to him.

"You and Jisung were good together," Woojin says, and Minho wishes he'd accepted the tea so he could pour it on Woojin's head. Or the laptop. The latter would hurt more and would probably result in Minho's murder.

"I lost interest. People do that."

Woojin looks at him with something like pity. "Are you coming to the music showcase, at least?"

"Of course I am," Minho says. He might not be on speaking terms with Jisung anymore, but Woojin and Jeongin will be performing and Minho will support his best friend and his brother. "Next week, Friday night. I'll be there."

"Good."

Minho and Woojin watch One Piece when they get tired of finding random games around the internet, and Minho leaves after midnight only when Jungwoo returns. There's a small puff of fur peeking out under Jungwoo's jacket, shifting underneath the fabric, and Minho internally wishes him good luck keeping whatever it is from the RA.

Changbin is in the dorm when Minho gets back, asleep with his headphones askew. Minho looks at Changbin and frowns. It's late at night and Minho admits to himself he must miss Jisung, if the side effects are so strong that he misses being friends with Changbin, as well.

Minho is the one who pulls the all-nighter at the library this time. Let Changbin think he had a one-night stand.

---

The auditorium is standing room only when Minho finds his seat. It seems like the entire university is there, and then some. It makes sense. The music department at their school is huge.

Minho takes his neighbor's program when he isn't looking and flips through it. Woojin, Seungmin, and Jeongin's cover is in the first half of the show. After clarifying this, he sticks the program back under his neighbor's seat and pulls a leg up to his chest, resting his chin on his knee.

Ten minutes later, the curtains go up, and the chatter in the auditorium dies down.

The showcase is made entirely by students but there's something professional about it. The hosts have people laughing in the first two minutes, and then the actual acts start- Minho's watching for Woojin and Jeongin, but he finds himself mesmerized by everything.

Woojin, Seungmin, and Jeongin's act comes ninth. Minho already knows that Woojin is amazing, but he can't help but feel a streak of pride for his best friend anyway, and he grudgingly admits that Seungmin has the voice of an angel, disregarding their lack of a relationship in real life.

When Jeongin sings, Minho gets the strange urge to cry. He isn't sentimental, will definitely be the weird uncle at family gatherings later on, but Jeongin's day by day improvements are so subtle that Minho is shocked by how good Jeongin sounds onstage. It's strange to see Jeongin through the lens of an audience member- Jeongin looks so mature, and Minho feels a strange mix of sadness and pride.

Surprisingly not a bad feeling at all.

There's an intermission after a dozen or so acts, and Minho purchases a small bag of cookies from the bake sale in the hall, eating them while he walks around. He runs into a couple of people he knows, which means he ends up sharing over half his bag of cookies.

"Everyone is so talented," Jungeun, from his Stats class, comments through a cookie, and Minho nods in agreement. "Are you here for anyone?"

"Ah, yeah, my best friend and my brother both performed. They were the ones that did Tomorrow, Today."

"Oh, that's them? They were so good!" Jungeun says, and Minho accepts the compliment on their behalf even though he took no part in the actual stage. Maybe he's an okay person sometimes, if he can be happy for other people's accomplishments.

"Are you here for anyone?"

"Yep. My girlfriend's act is in the second half," Jungeun says. She gestures to the end of the hall. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom now. Nice running into you."

Minho's throat seizes up when he registers that Jisung's act is in the second half also. He looks at the double doors and contemplates just going home, but then decides that it's a cowardly move and heads back into the auditorium.

Jisung is the second half's third act. When he walks onstage, Minho's throat closes up. Jisung looks good, untouchable. A slow, dark instrumental starts, and Jisung starts to rap. His voice is low, and while the song isn't as catchy as other songs he's written, there's a certain depth to the lyrics that drags the audience in, like the entire soul of the room has been transcribed to music.

Minho can't breathe. The song hits doubly hard: the lyrics resonate so much, the gentle pain of growing up and molding oneself to fit a new age, and it makes Minho want to go back to a time when he was free of fear. The pain is coupled with longing because it's Jisung and his voice is so powerful and-

Minho has made a mistake.

The realization hits him like a brick, knocks the air out of his lungs and punches him in the gut. He shouldn't have been afraid of heights because he's already fallen. Maybe not in love, but he's definitely fallen and the impact has already bruised his bones and knocked him flat on his back, and he has zero idea what to do about it.

He just knows he'll fall again and again if it means he gets to call Jisung his.

Jisung glows under the stage lights, like nothing can bring him down, and the audience roars when he's finished. The rest of the acts pass by in a blur- Minho does recall the audience losing their shit over a girl named Soyeon, whose rap makes Minho question whether she even needs to breathe.

When the show's over, Minho robotically walks into the hall determined to at least congratulate Jeongin and Woojin before going home. The hallway is flooded. Minho stands awkwardly to the side, waiting for Woojin and Jeongin to show up. When they finally head out from the backstage entrance, Jeongin carrying a bouquet of pink flowers, they're swarmed by people who want to congratulate them. By sheer stroke of bad luck, it's Seungmin that spots him first, and Seungmin's expression, high off stage adrenaline, morphs into a scowl.

Okay. Minho deserves that.

"Minho!" Woojin yells, spotting him. "You came!"

"You sang well!" Minho yells back, pain momentarily dissipating to compliment his friend. "No surprise there!"

Jeongin sees him and waves, smiling so wide it's contagious. "I took a video of you, I'll send it later," Minho yells, but he isn't sure if his voice is heard over the noise.

The music department is heading to a bakery later- Minho pities the poor employees who are on shift tonight- and Minho sends a text to Woojin asking him to get him pie before pocketing his phone and heading outside.

It's spring, and the night air is a strange mix of warmth and chill. People stream out of the building, chatting while standing on the sidewalk. Minho stops and stares. Jisung is standing on the curb, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, looking at some unknown point in the night.

Jisung turns around and their eyes meet. Minho's heartbeat spikes, and a compliment is halfway out of his mouth before he manages to swallow it down. Minho breaks eye contact first, walking away with his head down and his footsteps aimless.

---

Minho winds up in the library, pulling an all-nighter. He writes part of a paper, plans a choreography that he realizes doesn't work halfway through, and listens to 3RACHA songs while looking at pictures of space even though he knows that isn't healthy.

Nothing about this is healthy , he thinks, wry.

Which is how, when it's seven o'clock and he's watching the sun bleed through the windows of the study room he's in, he ends up video-calling his mom. "Can I see the cats?" he asks.

"Are you okay, Minho?"

"No."

The camera shakes as his mom gets up, panning to Dori sleeping on the couch, curled up into a ball, then to Soonie as she walks past, tail high. His mom stays silent, filming the cats, for fifteen minutes, before she asks, "Do you feel better?"

"Kind of." He can't really feel anything. Pulling an all-nighter isn't a good idea, considering that Minho doesn't react well to coffee and this means his sleep schedule will be messed up for the next week. Already he's lost feeling in his legs. "Do you remember when I told you about Jisung?"

"Yeah, of course, I look at his Instagram sometimes. The pictures he posts of you two are really cute." Minho is torn between the urge to cry and the urge to laugh because his mom stalks his ex-boyfriend's Instagram . "Oh, is this what this is about? Did he break up with you?"

"No." Minho rubs his eyes. They're burning, and the back of his hand comes away wet. "I broke up with him."

"Why?"

He's so tired that both logic and control has abandoned him. "I- I don't know." The camera turns to Doongie eying him with what can only be described as a judgmental expression.

Minho never thinks about his dad, he doesn't, but after having gone twenty-four hours without sleep his mind goes haywire and digs out thoughts that don't even feel like his. Like wondering if his dad's genes are embedded somewhere in his body, the kind that might prevent him from having a functional relationship.

"I guess because I felt like I didn't deserve him," Minho finally says.

"You can't think stuff like that," she answers, blunt. "Not just because you deserve everything, but because you can't make the decision that you don't deserve him. Only he can."

"I'm too tired for wordplay."

"Did you not sleep?" she shrieks, and Minho's guilty silence answers her. "You know what, after this conversation take a nap, you're in no shape to do anything right now. I swear you need to be kept in a burrito and taken care of, you and Jeongin both-"

"Sorry." She coughs. "Anyway, what I want to say is, communication is important in a relationship. Don't assume what the other person thinks. But do what you can from your end. In your case, just reach out and apologize."

That sounds terrible. Minho's pride is of the worst sort- he hates apologizing, hates admitting that he made a mistake, hates reaching out for help. Even the idea of asking Jisung to take him back fills his body with a mixture of terror and dread.

"Sometimes it doesn't work out," she says softly. "And that's okay. In that case you can let go. But if you don't try and fix things, it's on you."

This isn't about genes. No such genes exist. It's just Minho at crossroads and his desire to pick the easier route.

Minho curls into a ball. "I need sleep."

"Yeah, you do." The video cam abruptly swings around to an empty wall. "I'm cutting off you off from your cats. Go to bed."

Minho is too tired to argue that there are plenty of cat videos on the internet that are eager to take the video call's place, so he just mumbles, "Alright, I'll see you," and then the other end of the line goes dead. Minho stands up, blood rushing to his legs. Yeah, he needs sleep, but before that he has dance practice.

Shit.

---

In the end, Minho is spared from taking initiative.

He should have seen this coming. However, he isn't at his best, so when Woojin asks him to move some potted plants over to Chan's room claiming that they might help him sleep, Minho doesn't really question the logic and just grabs one of the pots, following Woojin across campus.

"What kind of plant is this, anyway?" Minho asks, when they reach Chan's building. "Is this a flower or something?"

"It's a bush."

"A bush?" Minho frowns. Something isn't right here. "What kind of bush?"

Woojin doesn't answer. He opens the door, sets the pot down, and grabs onto Minho's arm in one swift motion.

Chan is sitting on a swivel chair; next to him, on the bed, Jisung has his headphones on, typing on a laptop. He doesn't even bother to look up when the door opens, just says, "Changbin, you're really late this time." Minho freezes, but he doesn't struggle against Woojin's iron grip, knowing it'll be futile.

"These are plastic plants," Minho says lifelessly, and Jisung's head snaps up. His eyes widen in horror, and he immediately goes to stand up; before he's able to, Chan grabs his arm and pushes him back on the bed.

"You guys need to stop working out," Minho says. He turns to Woojin. "You can let go of me now. I'm not gonna run away."

Woojin narrows his eyes, but releases him. Minho walks further into the room, crossing his arms. He's pissed off, even more pissed off when Changbin appears, clearly also a part of this operation. "Don't blame Woojin, it was my idea," Changbin says.

"Don't worry, I'll blame you plenty too," Minho says, gritting his teeth.

"What the fuck is going on?" Jisung asks, setting his headphones aside.

"You know what the fuck is going on? You've been sad lately and so has my roommate and I'm so done ," Changbin snaps. "Talk. Don't leave the room until you guys figure it out because I swear to god I will do this again if I have to."

Minho glares at him. "Fine."

Changbin glares back, and then Woojin and Chan leave so that it's just Minho and Jisung in the room. Jisung twirls his headphones around his fingers. Minho looks at the shut door. It's awkward and the tension is so thick it's suffocating.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know this was going to happen," Jisung says. He doesn't look angry. More than anything, he sounds hurt.

"Me neither, you can leave now, if you want," Minho says. "Setups only work in sitcoms."

"I don't want to leave," Jisung says, and Minho's eyebrow jumps in surprise. Jisung takes a deep breath, staring at the floor. "I mean, I will if Changbin was lying about you being sad. Was he lying?"

Minho could say yes . But Changbin didn't lie, he understated- Minho been a ghost these past few weeks. His body is fine, sans the typical bruises and soreness from dancing, but for some reason, everything hurts . The breakup has been more than a sting from loneliness or a bruise to his ego- the pain goes bone-deep.

When Minho let Jisung go, it was in fear that Jisung was too good for him and would eventually realize this and cut things off. It's still true to Minho that Jisung's too good for him, but now Minho wants to do things differently.

Minho takes a deep breath. "He wasn't lying."

"He wasn't lying about me, either." Jisung's mouth twitches. "You broke my goddamn heart."

The reaction to that should not be hope, but that's what Minho's mind goes to.

"I was an asshole when I cut things off," he says. "I'm sorry."

"No, well, yeah, you were an asshole but like, I'm not talking about how you- broke up with me," Jisung says. "It wouldn't have been better even if you were nicer. I mean, I was pissed. But-"

"I can't believe there's a but."

"Woojin told me you were bad with words," Jisung says. "And I got pretty far listening to Woojin so maybe I should take his advice because it's not like I have anything left to lose."

Jisung tips his head up, staring at the ceiling. Minho wants to hold his hand and folds his fingers around his shirt to make sure that won't happen.

"When did Woojin say that?"

"I don't know. It was some time ago. I didn't want to mess up dating you so I kept asking him about what I should do," Jisung says. He smiles, slight. "We had a joke that he was your instruction manual."

Dating Minho comes with an instruction manual. Unbelievable. Well, that explains why Woojin always knew so much even though Minho never told him anything. "I came to your showcase," Minho says. "You were really good."

"Thank you," Jisung says. "I really wanted you to see me."

Despite himself, Minho smiles. "What, so I could see what I gave up?"

Jisung doesn't smile. Actually, he frowns. "Don't say stuff like that. Don't say stuff like that unless you actually mean it."

Minho is about to say yeah I do but Jisung talks right over him. "You never let me know whether you even liked me or not, you know?" he says. "I was too afraid to ask. Most of the time people date each other when they like each other but I couldn't even use that as a benchmark because we went out without even knowing each other."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be, it was confusing," Jisung says, and Minho laughs.

"I do like you."

"Like... in what way?"

Minho forces himself to clarify, even though it makes him feel like he's twelve. "As in the love song kind of way."

"Okay, good, I like you like that too," Jisung says, and then he punches Minho in the arm so hard it actually hurts. "So why the hell did you cut things off?"

"I was confused, too," Minho says. A hundred pounds lift off his shoulders. "You've never dated anyone. I figured at some point you'd realize I wasn't doing things right."

"What do you even mean by 'doing things right?'" Jisung asks, making quotation marks with his fingers.

"I don't know," Minho says. "I'm a shit boyfriend."

"Well, you seemed to be doing alright to me, up until when you cut things off when it was ass o'clock in the morning and I couldn't even think straight," Jisung says. "Really. You made me so happy."

Jisung says it so genuinely that it makes Minho blush. "I didn't even do anything."

"You always text me right when I'm sad and insist on giving me food and dragged my drunk ass home," Jisung says, rolling his eyes. "I could list off other examples but then we'd be here all day. You just don't see yourself clearly."

"No-"

"Shut up."

Minho is about to argue more but maybe Jisung is correct.

Everything has been so natural, and being with Jisung has been so easy, that it doesn't feel like expending effort. But Minho has put in the work any relationship needs, cutting open their schedules to fit each other into the spaces, giving parts of himself for Jisung to hold and vice versa. Jisung has made even falling easy.

Fear is different from reality. Sometimes you fall and someone's there to catch you.

Minho realizes with dread that he later he'll have to thank and apologize to Changbin, and wonders if he can get out of that by promising to do the laundry and dishes for the rest of the year or buy silence with free dumplings. But he'll say sorry because Minho actually really likes his roommate, and their current dysfunctional coexistence grates on Minho's nerves more than he'd like to admit.

"I'm kind of an idiot," Minho admits.

"You are," Jisung agrees pliably. "Will you be my idiot again?"

Minho squints. "Are you re-asking me out?"

"At least I'm directing the question at you, unlike the first time," Jisung says. Minho concedes this- the coffee shop scenario is easy to top, or hard to top, depending on how one looks at it. "So?"

Jisung's eyes glint.

Minho threads their fingers together. Jisung is beautiful and good and so easy to love and yeah he's too good for Minho but Minho is going to accept that Jisung chose him. He is going to hold on to Jisung and stay by his side until Jisung doesn't want him to anymore.

Maybe Minho doesn't deserve that kind of luck but since he has it, he'll take it.

"You're gonna be stuck with me, just a warning," Minho says.

"I know what I'm getting into," Jisung says, and leans in.

Kissing Jisung feels like coming home. Minho smiles wryly into the kiss when he realizes that it's only been a few weeks but he misses this like he's been deprived of it for months. Minho pulls away, though, when he realizes that Jisung is crying, tears rolling down his cheeks.

Minho brushes a few of the tears away with his thumb and resists the urge to say, don't cry , because that's unhelpful. "I'm sorry," he says instead.

Jisung doesn't tell him it's okay , and maybe that's fair. "So make it up to me," he says instead. "And take me out on a date."

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lyrics of an improvised love song - Chapter 1 - orphan_account - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Minho is naturally impulsive. He's gotten better at controlling it. In the sprawling woods of the multiverse, there's now only a slim chance he'll take the road that leads to shit hitting the fan, an improvement from when he was younger. Working in a coffee shop tests his limits, though.

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Bookmark https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kamiizumi/pseuds/Kamiizumi/bookmarks

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Summary

There's a complex cocktail of emotions and sensations that comes with reuniting with not only an ex, but his first official ex. Jisung was under the assumption that time heals all wounds and this too shall pass, but no amount of jumping around between paramours, hobbies, and impulsive decisions would hide the fact that his lingering feelings for Minho were more like...a kettle, slowly simmering on a stovetop. It only took their chance meeting for the heat to be set on high, and the kettle to start boiling over.

It's not them falling back in love, much like a shattered mirror being glued back together, Jisung keeps repeating to himself; it's just them trying to find a comfortable middle ground - or so he thinks. He knows he shouldn't, that this could be disastrous, but - he wants to relish in this long-lost feeling again...if just for a bit longer.

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heartbreak is our national anthem - Kamiizumi - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary There's a complex cocktail of emotions and sensations that comes with reuniting with not only an ex, but his first official ex.

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Chapter Text

Jisung didn't feel like the day he had been waiting for a whole month was finally here. He had woken up like every other morning in the same bed in the same room in the same hospital he had been admitted to. He had had the same breakfast he always had every day: a red shiny apple, some organic cereal he came to like with time and an orange juice. His mom had come to visit him like every other day for the past month, and even that day she didn't tell him the news. His friends, Chan, Changbin and Felix had visited him too but no one dared to tell him the news of his release. Only after the doctor came into his room in the middle of that same afternoon he found out, and a beaming smile curved on his face: he was finally free. Jisung had patiently waited for this day to come for the whole past month, and he couldn't wait to start writing songs again with his friends and return to the one thing that always brought him joy: photography. He couldn't remember the last time he took a picture, the last time he held his polaroid camera in his hands and shook a picture, waiting for it to be revealed.

The one thing everyone had been surprised about - and no one had understood - was the fact that Jisung had taken in the news of his reasons why he was in the hospital so calmly and acceptedly. When his doctor had come in one day after the whole process of erasing his memory, he had explained what had just happened to him and Jisung hadn't even flinch. "We have erased part of your memory upon your wishes. Everything that we've done to you was requested by yourself. Don't worry, no crucial information, such as your family and friends, has been deleted from your long-time memory," were the words the doctor had used. The only thing Jisung had done was nod. It had been as if a part of himself had accepted the fact that his memory had to be erased; as if an unconscious part of his brain already had known this. Of course he had wanted to know why he had deleted something - or someone - from his memory, but it was not the place nor the time. He would figure it out eventually, and find out why it happened, why he did this to himself. So he had just nodded.

The ride back home with his mom was pleasant. Even though neither of them spoke, it wasn't an awkward atmosphere, music filled itself where words could never: there was simply just nothing to say. It was peaceful. Jisung leaned against the window of the passenger's seat, watching how the tall buildings gradually turned into smaller houses and how the sun slowly hid itself from the sky and his view. He wanted to take a picture of the sky and its beautiful colors, that reddish and orange-pink cloudless sky, but he didn't have his polaroid camera with him, which he regretted profoundly. Jisung's body felt paralyzed: he was exhausted. He was not hurt, not in pain, but he didn't want to move an inch.

When he was finally home, something didn't seem right. He had only been gone for a month but it somehow felt like years, like an eternity. He couldn't remember the last time he had been in his room, the last time he had slept in his bed.

He spent the rest of what was left of the afternoon reorganizing his room. His room didn't feel like his; there was an opaque feeling inside of him. He wondered what had happened that made him lose that feeling of home. He wondered if he would ever feel it again.

When the night finally came, he went right to sleep. He didn't eat dinner with his family, no matter how hard her mother had tried to convince him. Jisung's body was drained, weak. "He just needs some time to get used to it, let's leave him alone for now. He needs space," were the words his mother used to explain to his father why he wouldn't be eating dinner with them. He couldn't look at the disappointment in his father's face through the door of his bedroom, but he knew it was there. It had always been there, ever since he confessed to his parents about not wanting to go to college and wanting to be a songwriter. Now, at 21, he was happily writing music with Chan and Changbin, and he was proud of it, of their two mixtapes. He had always hated feeling like a disappointment, but he had chosen not to live his life string-attached to his parents idea of a respectable, good son; he knew it wouldn't make him happy.

Jisung woke up in the middle of the night; he felt as if he was having a heart attack, and he wanted to throw up. He had a perforating pain in the stomach, and he was sweating uncontrollably; his mouth, dry. His head hurt and spinned and he couldn't understand what was happening to him. He took his hand to his chest and heavy breathed, and then glanced at the clock on his nightstand: 2:18 am. He stood up immediately, hand still on his heart, and shuffled to the bathroom. He opened the door in a rush, and thudded onto the floor. The surface of it was icy cold, and Jisung felt as if he was lying on a block of ice. He whined in pain, but no one could hear him.

The next day, Jisung woke up to the sound of heavy rain, still on the bathroom floor, surrounded by his drool and sweat. He carefully stood up, but felt much better than the night before. He still had a headache, but his chest pain was completely gone, it had vanished. When he was already up on both his feet, he lumbered to the kitchen: there was nobody home. He figured both of his parents were at work. Jisung picked up his phone from the counter - where he had left it the day before - and checked the time; 3 pm. He had a voice message.

"Hey, it's Chan. I heard you're out of the hospital. I'm glad the whole thing worked out. Wanna hang out? We really want to see you. You know where to find us."

Jisung grabbed the first raincoat he could find and went out. His skin tightened as the March rain poured in around him, almost soaking him completely despite the coat, but he wasn't troubled by the rain. He walked unhurriedly, steady, striding his way through the puddles. He took a 4419 bus, the one he always used to carry himself around, and walked three more blocks until he got there.

Chan and Changbin lived together in a small apartment. It was always messy, clothes on the floor here and there, and it always had an odd smell of dirt, sweat and burnt food but Jisung didn't mind. He was used to it already, after spending countless years going to their place and writing music there - because that's where the magic happened - right in their apartment. It had always felt like a second home to him, but that feeling was gone. He knew as soon as he stepped into the room that something had changed, not about the room itself, but inside of him. His feeling of home had died out.

"Quite a nice mess you have in here," he couldn't help but say, standing on the threshold of their apartment. He looked around the place once more, his eyes drifting from the ceiling, to the kitchen and back to the living room again, where his friend Changbin waited for him. Jisung hanged his drenched raincoat and sat down on their filthy couch, making himself comfortable.

"It's been a long time since you were last here," Chan explained, closing the door and sitting down next to him.

"I know," Jisung said. He wanted to know how long, but decided against it. His eyes still wandered around the room: everything was the just as he remembered, but different.

They spent the afternoon catching up, Jisung asking them how they had been this past month and if they had written any new music without him. He had forced himself not to ask them about why he erased part of his memory, he knew they wouldn't answer him. Besides, he erased it for a reason. He tried not to think too much about it, but he had found himself thinking about it all the time. It was like a virus: at first he didn't think much of it but now it was all he could think about. It had infected his mind, and he was still on the lookout for a cure.

"He's not the Jisung we once knew," he heard Changbin mutter before he closed the door behind him and walked home.

He arrived home in time for dinner, and he knew this time he had no escaping the dreadful dinner with his parents. Being an only child, the questions were always darted directly at him, and he couldn't dodge them. He knew his father like the palm of his hand: he knew his way around his mind, his dull thoughts, his questions to him. His father had only visited him once at the hospital, right after the whole process. Jisung knew why he had gone to see him: he wanted to check if he still remembered his father. Of course he did. Facing him had always been a nightmare when he was a kid, he used to be afraid of the power he had. Not anymore, he had said to himself several times growing up, I'm not afraid anymore.

"He will be so glad to see you," his mother said before they sat for dinner, "After all this time, we're together again."

He wasn't exactly sure what she meant, because it had only been a month, but he didn't pay much attention to it.

Dinner went smoother than he thought. He answered all of his father's questions - which had been less than five - but his eyes never left his food plate. He made eye contact with neither of them, but he was sure his mother didn't mind: Jisung bet she was just grateful for his presence in the house, to say the least, for dinner itself. When it was over, he picked up his plate with one hand and his glass with the other, and carried them to the kitchen, where they would be washed by his mother. He would've cleaned them himself but it involved further conversation he was not yet ready to engage.

Once he was back in his room, he finished reorganizing the last few things he had not been able to put away the day before. He still had clothes where they shouldn't be and he couldn't understand why; it wasn't like he had taken all his clothes to the hospital, so why weren't them in their right place? He took his hoodies off the drawers and hanged them on the wardrobe, but when he opened it, - to his surprise - he found something peculiar: lying on his dark brown wooden wardrobe floor, below his coats and hoodies and sweaters and shirts he rarely used, behind his polished black formal shoes, there was a box. A faded light brown box laid untouched. He had the urge to pick it up and open it, see what was inside - because he certainly couldn't remember no matter how hard he tried - but decided not to. Without being able to take the mysterious box out of his head, Jisung went to sleep, hoping that what had happened the day before wouldn't happen again.

He was wrong. Jisung woke up in the middle of the night, again. He had an unbearable pain in his chest, like a thousand knives being stabbed into his heart. He couldn't breathe; he felt as if he was drowning and he was slowly dying, his life slipping away the harder he gasped for air. Tears rolled down his cheeks onto his neck. Once again, he couldn't understand what was wrong. Were these side effects of his erased memory?, he wondered, exasperated. He took his hand to his heart, listened to his heartbeat - which was fortunately still there - and heavy breathed: it sounded heartbroken, empty. It felt as if his heart was waiting for something, or someone, that was never going to come. He panted, uneasy. Jisung knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep all night. He glanced at his nightstand clock: 2:47 am, and stood up as quick as lightning, as if his bed were on fire and he was being burned alive. He put on his robe and quietly tiptoed to the kitchen, as not to wake his parents up, for a glass of water in hopes of calming his heart down and catching his breath.

Just after he returned to his room with the glass of water, he remembered the brown box he had found in his wardrobe. He couldn't help but ask himself what was inside, why it was hiding itself from him. He tried to fight the urge to open it but failed; he turned on his nightstand lamp, put down his glass next to it and went for the box. It was heavier than it looked, covered in dust and larger; he used both of his hands to drag it out.

There was a small piece of paper on top of the dirty lid he failed to notice before. He snatched the folded paper enthusiastically and opened it in the blink of an eye. The first thing he noticed was the handwriting: it was his own. His messy calligraphy was the star of the script. Jisung couldn't remember writing it. He read it carefully:

Dear me,
If you're reading this it must mean you got your memory erased. Wise choice, I'm proud of you - of us, actually. You're probably curious about what you deleted from your memory and, more importantly, why. No one will be able to explain it to you better than me, than yourself. By now you must be feeling odd, out of place, empty, lonely probably, I don't know. There is something out there, some piece of information everyone - including me, your past self - is hiding from you, information you're missing out. Before I tell you anything, you need to know I did this - the whole "let's get my memory erased" thing - because of our own good, I did this for both of us, and what was best for our heart. What you're about to dig into will be a joyful and painful journey of rediscovery, of finding out how your past self was. Sure, you're probably thinking you remember your old self, but let me tell you, you're wrong; you still don't know what I do. I know I can't stop myself from looking inside this box and what you, future self, want to find out so badly. So go ahead, dive right into your forgotten past, no one will stop you.
It was not something, it was someone. His name was Lee Minho, and he was our beginning and our end, and this is our love story...

That name sounded somehow familiar; something in the back of his mind tingled and he immediately remembered someone with that name from school. Dance team, senior. His face came to his mind like a gust of cold wind: baby soft skin, hazel brown hair, a calming smile. Jisung couldn't remember anything else, he was absolutely sure he never met this man, that he never had a conversation with him.

He peeked inside the box excitedly. As soon as he lifted the dusty lid off, never-ending piles of pictures flooded out of the box, spreading all over his bedroom floor like a wave. So many letters, so many doodled hearts, so many lost memories.

Jisung noticed that the pictures were numbered and that he would have to follow a pre-established order, as if he was following an invisible timeline. He was amazed by the carefully carried out plan his past self had done for him, and he couldn't wait to uncover the hidden secrets his partially erased mind hid from him.

He delightedly picked up the first polaroid and goggled at the picture in his hands: he recognized his school, the ugly cafeteria tables and the poorly painted walls, but what really caught his attention was that a few tables in front of him, a brown haired boy was eating his food peacefully. It was not just any boy, it was Lee Minho. He stared at the picture for a long time before turning it around, and to his surprise, the polaroid had a title, still with his poor handwriting; The day my eyes met yours. Inexplicably, he could remember that day as if had happened yesterday.

The day my eyes met yours

"I'm having a heart attack," I say as soon as I notice a new guy a few tables in front of me, talking to some other guy I don't know. "Is this love I'm feeling?"

"You don't even know the guy," Changbin says, discreetedly turning around to take a better look at him. He sighs, turning back at me and rolling his eyes.

"Not yet, but I will."

"I don't know what Chan would say if he were still here." I know Changbin misses Chan, but he graduated and now it's out turn to graduate.

"I bet he's a senior," I say, completely ignoring my friend and without taking my eyes off the stranger. He looks older than both of us. I need to take a picture of him, I will take a sneaky picture of the owner of my heart, yes.

I take out my camera off my backpack in the blink of an eye, but before I can snap the first picture, Changbin hisses at me.

"Oh my God, Jisung," he stares at the camera in my hands. "Put that away now, are you a stalker? Stop looking at that guy for Christ's sake!"

"Relax," I say, snapping the first picture. "I just want to take a few pictures." I keep on snapping pictures, trying to dodge Changbin out of sight. He tries to get in my way and block my sight but he continuously fails. I giggle in satisfaction.

"I think you took enough already," he says, now trying to take the camera away from me. "Gimme the camera, that's enough!"

"A few more and I'm done, I swear." I want to capture the aura this mysterious guy projects. I want to capture how the sunlight hits his eye with such softness, how he doesn't look annoyed by it. How his eyes look peaceful yet understanding and rebellious. For a moment, he looks like he's full of rage. I snap another picture with caution. To me, the history and persona of a human can be discovered through the lens of a camera, of a single picture, and this guy has a lot going on in his mind. Not just by the way his eyes drift all the time and his attention spam is long, but because he is calm. Calm yet his eyes reveal something else: accumulated anger. I want to find out where it comes from, and why he bottles it away so flawlessly. What is he hiding? I bet he thinks no one notices, but I'm not like most people. The eyes of a person are the eyes to the soul.

"That's it," Changbin says, snatching the camera away from me. I got distracted for a single minute and I already lost my camera to my friend. Shame on me, I should've held it tighter.

Jisung dropped the picture, astonished. He remembered how falling in love with Lee Minho felt like; he remembered it had felt like the stars aligned for him and that he had finally found the missing piece of himself. He had known, right at that moment when he first stared at him, that Minho was going to be the one to kill off his feelings of loneliness, that he would complete his heart. Jisung had found a home, a place he wouldn't lose but, in the end, he did lose it.

The butterflies he didn't know he had inside woke up after a long hibernation, and were now flying around his body. He wanted to throw up wings and antennas; the butterflies were attacking him, tickling his stomach. His heart pumped out wings of all different colors and suddenly his blood turned rosy pink; he was in love - well, his body was in love. He wasn't sure what he was in love with, if he was in love with Minho, or the idea of him or his memory. Jisung recognized this feeling, he knew he had felt this way before, many years ago when he first saw Minho. He was amazed he remembered, and felt a strange feeling of home. Lee Minho had formed a home inside of him he had failed to identify. He smiled, relieved; he was, once again, alive.

He wanted more; he picked up the next polaroid, waiting for the picture to trigger another lost memory. And it did.

The day I met your soul

"I know detention is not going to last forever but we can take advantage of this time and get to know each other. What do you think?" I say, approaching the hazel haired boy and sitting down next to him. There is no one inside the classroom except us two.

He looks at me, turning his head to the left. "Sure," he nods shyly. "I've been wanting to meet you too."

I make a weird face. "How do you know about me?"

"I just saw you hanging out with Changbin the other day. You two seem to be really good friends."

"He's my best friend," I say, leaning forward. "How do you know about him?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.

He looks away, embarrassed. "He looks intimidating."

"He's not," I say bluntly, "He just wants to be seen that way. I'll tell him he's making a hella good job," I raise both thumbs up, cheerfully. "Anyways, there are some things I wanted to ask you."

He giggles, nervously. "Sure, but I still don't know your name."

My face burns, I turn red in embarrassment. "I'm Han Jisung."

He smiles. "I'm Lee Minho, nice to meet you," he says, and we shake hands. His skin is soft, like a feather. They're relatively small, too.

"Now that we introduced ourselves, let's go on."

"Fire away," he says, grinning.

I roll up my sleeves. "First of all, why are you here? You don't strike me as the typical bad boy," I say, checking him out. Of course I used this excuse to look at him more closely, and make sure he's just as good looking as I first saw him, three days ago. He is.

At first, he hesitates, but replies, "I took the blame for someone."

"Aren't you a new kid?" I blurt out, and cover my mouth immediately. That was mean of me. I want to apologize, but instead I say I admire him, and that he's brave.

He smirks. "What about you?" he asks.

I lean backwards, putting both my hands behind my head. "I've been skipping a few classes here and there, nothing serious. Also, my grades are extremely low."

He breathes out a laugh. "I could help you with that, I'm actually quite a nerd." We burst into laughter, and I notice a cute little dimple on his left cheek.

"I would love your help, thanks."

He spits a question he has been wanting to say for a while now. "What are your hobbies?"

I peek at him with the corner of my eye. "I make music with my friends."

He gasps, "With Changbin?"

I nod. "Yes, and another friend, Chan. We're 3Racha, like the sauce."

He chuckles, "That's a weird name."

"You need to get to know our stage names, they're even weirder," I say, grinning.

Minho's eyes gleam in amazement. "What's your stage name?"

"J.one," I say, proudly. I'm very fond of my stage name.

"J.one? That makes you sound badass."

"Whoever told you I'm not badass?" I snap quickly, a smile between my lips.

He cackles, covering his stomach with both of his arms, closing his eyes.

Before I can tell him anything else, a teacher comes through the door, killing what is left of the conversation off.

Jisung wiped a tear off his face. He wanted to go back in time and prevent himself from erasing his memory: Minho was lovely, he couldn't understand what went wrong. He knew he didn't know the rest of the story, and Minho was practically still a stranger to him. Sure, he could remember a few things here and there, where they first met and their first conversation, but it didn't guarantee anything: his memory was still gone.

He picked up both polaroids and compared them: he looked exactly the same. His aura was peaceful and calm and everything about him looked intriguing. He wanted to find out more about him, he was sure that deep inside in his brain he had stored all of his memories about Minho, and that they hadn't been erased but instead locked away. And he didn't have the key nor password. Not yet.

He instinctively turned them around and noticed something he didn't notice the first time: dates. The polaroids had been not only titled but also dated. Both pictures were almost six years old, and he gasped at the realization that it had been a long time since he first met Minho. Jisung wasn't sure about anything anymore, he was lost between remembering memories he chose to erase for unknown reasons and what was actually real. He felt he was losing sight of what was there and what was not. Minho was not there, but the pictures were definitely real. The memories were real. His feelings? He still wasn't sure where they came from, they were a question with no answer. Nothing had an answer anymore, and the harder he buried himself into answers, more questions arose.

The date on the first polaroid was "year 1 month 1 day 1" which he deducted was the beginning of something. Jisung still wasn't sure of what, like pretty much everything so far, he had questions unanswered. The second polaroid's date was "year 1 month 1 day 3" which made no sense to him, but it did help him figure out that the polaroids were indeed in the correct order.

Jisung wondered if there was, somewhere in between the whole ocean of pictures he had on his bedroom floor, a picture of the two of them. "I will find it out sooner or later," he mentally answered himself. When he picked up the next polaroid, unlike the previous ones, he spotted a crumpled paper loosely attached to the back of it. The paper looked kind of old; he figured it must've been from the very beginning as well. He opened it slowly, carefully, tracing the scars on the paper. It had small, untidy pink hearts all over, and even though it didn't have anything written down, he somehow knew it was a message for Minho, one that came solely from the heart: an unhearable I love you.

The day I met your mind (year 1 month 1 day 14)

"So you live alone, why?" I ask, throwing the books and the school supplies over the hard marble kitchen table. Minho's apartment is small but cozy, and it only has two doors: the front door and the bathroom's.

"Family problems," he mumbles hurriedly, "You don't wanna know about it."

"Oh, but I do," I say, sliding the books aside, folding my arms on the table. He has my full attention.

He hesitates, biting his lower lip. He takes a chair out and sits down in front of me, interlocking his hands on the table.

So that is where the accumulated anger comes from. Bingo!

"They have a different lifestyle. They're old-fashioned and they always criticize everything. They used to criticize my grades, my friends, my girlfriends.."

I cut him off. "Girlfriends?"

"Don't worry," he says, leaning backwards and stretching his arms. "It was just to impress them. To make them satisfied. I never felt anything for any of them."

I sigh, what a relief. He gazes at me, I bet he's trying to figure out what I'm thinking about. He looks like he has an answer.

"Why did you ask me about my girlfriends?" he questions, raising a suspicious eyebrow and flashing a malicious grin.

"Forget it," I say, picking up a pen and opening a book as fast as lightning. "Let's start, tutor."

Jisung woke up on the floor the next day, surrounded by the polaroids that triggered memories he regretted erasing from his brain. He squinted at the sun coming through his window and lazily stood up, turning the light on his nightstand off and drinking the remaining water with the little strength he still had. Leaving the whole box untouched, polaroids still scattered around the floor, he grabbed the first hoodie he could find and went out, in search for answers.

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The Light Between Us - Chapter 1 - daughterofthesky - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Jisung didn't feel like the day he had been waiting for a whole month was finally here. He had woken up like every other morning in the same bed in the same room in the same hospital he had been admitted to.

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Beautiful piece

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Chapter Text

If it were any other person Minho would've probably already shoved them off the couch out of sheer annoyance. Jisung was restless, wriggling around every second as if there wasn't a single comfortable position. Minho had convinced himself that the only reason Jisung wasn't already sitting on the ground was that he was cute. Minho's attention averted back to the tv which displayed a certain long golden-haired princess with emerald eyes, their favorite, Rapunzel. The both of them had long forgotten the number of times they'd rewatched the movie but neither seemed to care. Jisung squealed as his favorite part was approaching. Minho gazed at him with such adoration that to anyone else it might be insufferable, but the soft humming that came from Jisung as he softly sang the melody made it impossible to not stare.

"Now that I see you~" He sang, smiling to himself as the princess kissed her lover.

"You're pretty,"

Jisung let out a breathy laugh, turning to face his boyfriend who was sitting on the opposite end of the couch, "I know," he winked, causing Minho to give a faux look of annoyance.

"Actually, I meant the song is pretty,"

Jisung exclaimed in offense as he grabbed the nearest pillow flinging it at the older, Minho laughed putting his hand up in defense. "I'm kidding, I'm kidding."

Jisung rolled his eyes but flopped back down into his spot, somewhat content. Minho frowned once Jisung's attention was once more back on the large screen. It wasn't as if he didn't like the movie, but the lack of attention he was receiving and the excruciating space between the both of them felt cruel. Minho picked up the discarded pillow throwing it back at the younger who squealed at the sudden attack.

Within a few moments, the two had broken into a fit of laughter as they playfully tackled one another. The melody of the bright laughter that came from Jisung as Minho mercilessly tickled him was far more beautiful than any song he could have sung. "Can you pay attention to me Sungie?" Minho tilted his head as he was leaning over the smaller boy whose eyes were wide and blinking rapidly due to the position they were currently in.

Jisung imitated the latter by tilting his head teasingly, "is that what this is about?" he giggled lightly. He sat up carefully pushing Minho back into a sitting position, he rested his arms around Minho's neck and gazed down at him, getting pulled in closer by his boyfriend's hands on his waist. "You should've said something earlier," Jisung mumbled into Minho's nape, the vibrations his words made, sent chills down Minho's spine.

Minho looked up at Jisung as though he held the night's every star in his eyes. Minho's hands snuck their way under Jisung's sweater and rested on his bare waist as he started to rub little circles into Jisung's hips. Jisung's whole body reacted, shivering at the touch against his bare skin. He recoiled slightly, though the grip Minho had on his hips made it hard for him to escape. "Something wrong?" Minho asked with concern settling in his expression, he automatically loosened his grip though the look of adoration never ceased.

Jisung didn't respond, only shook his head and turned his head away from Minho even with his hands still around his neck. He trusted Minho, he knew he'd give up the world for him, but it was as if his body was constantly on fight or flight mode when he felt anyone's touch.

Sure, they kissed all the time and had already passed several levels in their relationship and Jisung had learned to not be afraid of Minho and not hide from him since he knew there was never judgment with him. But recently the thoughts had come back and at a force, he was no longer capable of containing on his own. Jisung flinched as he felt two warm hands cup his cold cheeks, Minho carefully pulled his face back toward his own.

"Hey, you still in there angel?"

Jisung nodded hesitantly as he felt tears form, his eyes became glossy the longer he was face to face with his lover.

"I'm sorry," he let out a soft sob, Minho was quick to console no matter if he knew or not why Jisung had suddenly become emotional. He had noticed Jisung had been distant as of late, if anything he was glad he had found it in him to be so vulnerable in front of another.

"Want to talk about it?"

Jisung's body occasionally jolted against Minho's warming chest when he let out louder sobs.

"I hate it.."

"Hate what?" he was careful to not force anything out of the younger, especially when he was like this. It wasn't as though Jisung hid everything from him, but his tendency to bottle everything up made moments like this all the more sensitive.

"M' body,"

Minho positioned the smaller boy on his lap causing their eyes to once again meet. His expression softened yet still displayed a sort of firmness, not in the way that intimidated the latter, but more so reassured him that he was strong enough. "Sungie, you're beautiful," there wasn't an ounce of falsity in his words, "so so perfect."

The faintest of smiles appeared on the younger's lips as he leaned down to capture his lips in a slow kiss before he pressed their foreheads together. "You don't understand how much I love you." Jisung tried to control his breathing as his emotions got the best of him.

Minho pressed a soft kiss on his nose before he whispered, "your heart is beating so fast."

The comment made Jisung hyper aware and if anything made it beat fast, he shrunk slightly muttering a small "sorry,"

Minho pulled away just enough to peer up at Jisung, shaking his head softly. "Why would you be sorry?" he brought a hand up to brush the stray hairs out of his face. Though soon a pleased grin appeared with a hint of trouble hidden behind it. "Do I make you nervous?"

Jisung wanted to say yes, but he realized, at that moment, that that was far from the truth. He had grown used to Minho enough to not feel so frightened around him. There was no longer the need to calculate and premeditate his every move, so as not to make a fool out of himself. After all the years they'd spent together, and now the almost year they'd been dating, the comfort Jisung felt around Minho was incomparable to anything Jisung had ever felt before. He didn't know what the slight tremor of his limbs meant or why it was that he stumbled on his words when he looked directly into Minho's dark eyes, but he knew it was anything but fear.

He shook his head parting his lips while still thinking of what to say, the pair flinched in sync as they heard the front door unlock. Minho quickly peeled off the younger, placing him back on his side of the couch, and scrambled back to his side.

"Jisung-ah?" the voice of Jisung's mother echoed from the foyer which lead into the living room where the pair were sitting, "Jisung? - oh Minho!" she exclaimed acknowledging the presence of the latter. Minho gave an awkward smile back while eyeing Jisung whose expression was anything but pleased.

Jisung rolled his eyes when his mother wasn't looking as she explained her day at work, Jisung mockingly returned overly exaggerated reactions along with an extremely sarcastic, 'so interesting mom.' Minho almost laughed if it weren't for the worry of getting scolded by his boyfriend's mother. After what felt like years she finally left, leaving an exasperated Jisung and amused Minho.

"Way to break the moment," he muttered looking over at Minho who was trying to mask his want to burst into laughter. Minho looked back up at Jisung, admiring him even with the distance that was once again put between them.

"I meant it," his tone was different but laced with a sort of sincerity, though the younger was still confused.

"Meant what?"

"That you're perfect."

Jisung's eyes widened for a moment before he buried his face in his hands trying to hide the flush that had formed, Minho made grabby hands at the younger indicating for him to come closer to which Jisung easily complied. They basked in one another's warmth for a few moments enjoying the last few minutes of the movie even though they had missed several minutes of it - not that it mattered. Jisung's head rested on Minho's lap as the final scene played.

Minho replicated the action from earlier, rubbing small circles into the younger's hip, only this time did he hear soft snores come from his lap. The steady rise and fall of Jisung's chest indicated he had fallen asleep, a soft smile appeared on Minho's face as he carefully played with the soft strands of his lover's hair.

"I promise I'll keep you safe," he whispered; whether Jisung heard it or not didn't matter because he meant it.

-

Minho stared blankly at the roof, his head pounding as useless thoughts bounced off the walls and through his mind. He'd already missed several days of school, he laughed pathetically when he remembered his teachers threatening to email his parents about his poor attendance. He didn't dare step near the dorms after what had happened, even if he had left most of his things back in his dorm room, he could care less as long as he could stay away from him. Though Minho was starting to doubt whether putting up with the dirty hell hole known as his abandoned childhood home was any better than staying away from his perfectly adequate and above all clean school dormitory. He didn't even flinch when he heard his phone buzz, the only thing that made him react in the slightest was the ringtone.

'You're so cheesy,' Changbin had jibed at the idea of his best friend having a different ringtone for his crush. 'I'm only playing with you, it's really cute.. you'd be cute together.'

Minho groaned as his body automatically sat up and grabbed his phone, "You're so stupid," he said to himself as he stared at the unopened notifications from none other than, Han Jisung.

'hey min, it's ok if not but please call me i'm worried'

He studied the text as if the letters would warp or something if he looked at them long enough. His thumb hovered over the answer button and the way it was basically touching the screen was tortuous. He blamed it on a fly that zoomed past him when he accidentally clicked it.

"Minho?" Jisung's voice was faint on the other line, "Hello?" he repeated when he didn't get an answer. Minho just listened, he missed it.

He clearly enjoyed testing Jisung's patience, "Hyung, you've been ignoring me for days. I just want to know that you're okay," he heard the younger sigh, whether it was out of annoyance or solicitude he didn't know. "I don't know what it was I did, but come back soon, please."

"I love yo-"

Minho hung up.

Jisung threw around those three words like they were made for some sort of damage control to compensate for his every fault. It irked Minho and not many things, if anything, about Jisung, annoyed him. He looked at the boy and thought of perfection, but Jisung thinking to say I love you in a moment like that felt beyond wrong.

Maybe Minho simply had no concept of what love was and didn't understand that such words weren't of as much weight and value as his sentimental self had believed but he didn't want to hear it. He cared too much and it would hurt too much. It was as though Jisung waited till the very moment Minho felt himself heal and get over him before he came running at full speed with his love, affection, and attention.

He loved him, no matter what he did. It was some fucked up sense of loyalty, but Minho loved Jisung so much it was ruining him.

-

"Baby, why are you ignoring me?" Minho pouted trying to get the attention of his boyfriend who acted as though his phone were more important than his significant other.

Jisung had been mad at Minho for some unknown reason since they'd gotten back from his dance studio. Jisung still refused to respond only making Minho more restless, he had hoped after having a shower he would come back and the younger wouldn't be in a bad mood anymore but it seemed not. Minho glanced around Jisung's room waiting for an answer, nothing, he frowned. Minho sighed in defeat and fell onto the vacant spot on Jisung's bed, he hummed to himself as he tried to think of what it was he could've done. He mindlessly fiddled with the hem of the shirt he'd stolen from back from Jisung which had originally been his but by some fate ended up in Jisung's drawer.

"Do you think Chan-Hyung is attractive?" Jisung said hesitantly as his cheeks visibly heated up.

The older raised a brow at the younger trying to process why Jisung would ask that.

Oh.

The only thing that could so easily make Jisung so avoidant or indignant would be if he were jealous.

He had jokingly flirted with Felix's friend who had come along with him to the dance studio. He wasn't a dancer nor a teacher so he had sat with Jisung to just watch. But when Minho finished up with his classes and went to get Jisung, he may have thrown around a few playful flirts at the attractive male sitting beside his boyfriend. He figured that it hadn't sat too well with the witness to the incident.

" Hmm ... I don't know, do you think he is?" a smirk displayed on Minho's pretty lips, "actually yeah, I think he's pretty hot,"

Jisung whined before sitting up and straddling his boyfriend who was already laying down. He gave him a narked expression as if to intimidate him. "You're so mean," he whinged, watching as the corner of Minho's lips tugged up.

Minho pushed himself up with his elbows tilting his head cockily, "how so, Jisungie?" he provoked, "are you jealous?"

"No."

"Ok, then should I go back to the studio and get his number? I'm sure he's still there-"

Jisung grabbed the older's shirt, scrunching up the fabric as he pulled him into an instantaneous kiss. Minho smiled into the kiss as his hand moved up to cup the side of Jisung's face. It didn't take long for Jisung to give in and let Minho take control, he flipped them both over, positioning himself above the younger while still messily pressing their lips together in the process. Jisung let his mouth fall open allowing Minho to enter, he shuddered as Minho's tongue circled his own before it ran along his bottom lip, Jisung tugged at Minho's freshly washed soft black hair making Minho let out a low groan. He hummed contentedly at how Minho smelt like his shampoo.

Minho bit down hard on Jisung's lower lip, sucking onto it before letting go and continuing his abuse on the other's lips. Jisung outright moaned only turning on Minho more, "all this because you got a little bit jealous," Minho still hadn't shut up, as he hovered over the younger lips, Jisung made a frustrated noise pushing himself up to reconnect their lips.

Minho felt a pride swelling as he thought of how loud he could get his boyfriend with only a makeout session but the longer they kissed the further from reality Jisung's mind went, he felt like he was on cloud 9 - small under his boyfriend's touch and inferior to his dominance, he fucking loved it.

" Angel, " Minho tried to catch the younger's attention through his needy kisses. "Jisung-"

"Mhm," Jisung finally responded, only half cognizant of Minho's intervention.

"I'm yours," he said slowly, wanting Jisung to hear and know that he meant it. That even if he teased and joked he truly did belong to Jisung. "All yours."

The younger made a happy noise at the thought of it, that Minho was his, or more so that he was Minho's. He tugged on Minho's hair again yet harder, liking the way it made Minho respond and the way it made him kiss harder, rougher.

"I love you,"

"I love you more, princess."

-

Minho sipped his drink, cringing at the bitter substance that stung his throat. "This is so fucking boring," he groaned to himself as he glanced over the crowd trying to look for Changbin. He rolled his eyes when he found him dancing with Felix, typical. It was only custom for the seniors to hold the school's infamous end-of-semester parties, though Minho's will to actually show up had faded after the first year. Though it seemed nobody else agreed with his malice as the house was so crowded, every level of the house looked filled.

Minho's brows furrowed as he caught a glimpse of a familiar face, Han Jisung. He felt something caught in his throat as he looked at the boy from head to toe. He was wearing a black cropped hoodie paired with a black skirt that had chains hanging off it and the thigh-high socks and fishnet tights with his typical bulky black platform shoes which were more than just the focal point of the entire outfit. To say he looked hot was an understatement. Minho almost choked on his drink when Jisung looked up, causing their eyes to unexpectedly meet, he smiled giving Minho a small wave and indicated for him to join him on the dance floor. They weren't close, if anything they'd only ever seen one another in the one class they had together or while leaving the dorms since theirs were close. But Minho couldn't help but find something incredibly infatuating about the boy.

Maybe it was his pretty laugh or how excited he got over such small things. He had only found out such things when they'd been paired up for a project which had been their first genuine moment to bond. However after that, they had barely ever spoken, all the while Minho helplessly pined over the boy who paid him no mind.

Almost the entire school knew of Jisung and Hyunjin's hellish breakup. Hwang Hyunjin was one if not the most popular, rich students at their school, so it was only practiced that the whole student body made a huge deal out of it. If anything, Minho was shocked that Jisung even showed up, considering this was his now ex-boyfriend's house.

Frankly, Minho was far from comprehending how the fuck he got into this situation but as his lips roughly moved in sync against Jisung's he didn't seem to care. He delicately held Jisung's hips, easily hoisting him up and pushing him against the wall which made the younger let out a breathy moan. Neither of them knew how the hell they ended up in this room but judging from their current state neither cared. Jisung didn't seem to respond beside his endless array of moans as Minho kissed down his neck, leaving marks that were bound to remain for a few days to come, the older stopped for a moment to take in the masterpiece he had created of Jisung's neck before tilting his head to look Jisung in the eye.

"You there, baby?" he asked softly, Jisung merely returned a few incoherent babbles making Minho smile softly. He loosened his grip slightly while still making sure Jisung didn't fall, but enough to indicate to the younger that he was safe and could stop whenever.

"You're so pretty~" Jisung giggled pressing their foreheads together, his eyes crinkling as he laughed.

"So is Sungie," he mumbled before cupping Jisung's cheeks, pulling him into a slow kiss, the younger's breathing hitched before he melted into the kiss. Minho smiled into his lips as Jisung let out a shaky moan when Minho kissed him harder. He brought his hands to the boy's slim waist, tightening his grip at the latter's pretty noises. "Bub, this isn't our room," he reminded the younger who just huffed in response. Jisung looked around as if he had already forgotten which it seemed may have genuinely been the case. He pouted as he stared into Minho's pretty eyes.

He cupped the older's slender face to examine his features, he had always known the school's local coffee shop boy and elite dancer was attractive but seeing him up close was more than a pleasure. He had finally felt his body relax after a long night, he was grateful for the quick fulfillment but taking this any further didn't seem like a good idea especially in the guest bedroom of Hyunjin's house.

"Thank you for this Minho-Hyung," Minho wasn't sure why Jisung talked as though it was the last time, or as if he had just done him a favor. "You really helped me relieve my stress after everything with Hyunjin."

Minho should have learned his lesson. He should have taken the message that what happened that night was nothing but simply him doing the younger a favor. Jisung felt nothing as he led on the other who was vain to believe his crush had finally taken notice of him.

But he didn't.

Months went by and Minho still gave heartfelt smiles as he passed the younger in the halls and started small conversations as Jisung ordered his coffee. It was so easy, so easy for Jisung to pretend it never happened and when Minho thought about it maybe it never did, maybe to Jisung it never happened.

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maybe in another universe. - linoify - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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If it were any other person Minho would've probably already shoved them off the couch out of sheer annoyance. Jisung was restless, wriggling around every second as if there wasn't a single comfortable position. Minho had convinced himself that the only reason Jisung wasn't already sitting on the ground was that he was cute.

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FANCAM) 190420 하이스테이 서울 리노 코멘트 straykids Leeknow comment

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Minho and Jisung were poles apart. Jisung is the cool kid - outgoing, confident, sporty, friendly, chatty, funny and liked by everyone and anyone. Minho is the complete opposite - weird humor, soulless voice, introverted, poker face, cynical, and intimidating.

The only thing similar about them is that they both wear round glasses. And those exact same glasses were the reason why they even crossed paths back in elementary school.

It was gym class and they were running laps around the field when Jisung, not looking where he's going and instead shouting to a friend on the bleachers, ran straight into Minho. They toppled to the ground, a mess of entangled limbs, while students around them guffawed. Oh shit is that Minho? Jisung heard one of the older boys say, and he had half the mind to snitch the kid to the principal because of his foul mouth.

But alas, he couldn't do that, because he can't even see who the person is as his glasses went flying when he hit the ground.

He quickly scrambled to his feet and tapped the space around him to look for his glasses, and felt his right hand encircle a pair of metal spectacles. A second later, his left hand gets a hold of another pair of glasses that looks and feels just like his own.

He puts on the first pair of glasses he found anyway, and squinted over at the other boy still kneeling on the ground and looking for his own. Students were already snickering at him, so he quickly grabbed the boys hand and pressed the glasses into it. "Hey, I think this is yours."

He watched the other boy put it on before standing up, dusting his pants, and running away, not even sparing Jisung a glance. "Hey! Wait!" Jisung called out and ran after him, but the other was too fast for him to catch up.

It was only after a few minutes that both of them realized there's something wrong with their vision. Minho felt it first as he ran away from the field, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Where he's going, he didn't know. Literally. Because he couldn't see anything in front of him except from the blur of beige and green colors that he assumes to be the buildings and the trees.

Jisung realized he accidentally switched glasses with Minho when he had to squint just to see the face of the teacher standing in front of him and asking him if he's alright. He wasn't alright. His eyes hurt from trying so hard to focus on the teacher's face and most of all, he feels a hot wave of guilt and worry come over him as he imagined Minho struggling to navigate around school grounds, unable to see clearly, and it was all because of his carelessness.

And so Jisung skipped half of his classes (under the excuse of going to the clinic) to look for the other boy, finding him almost three hours later sprawled in the middle of the field where they first met.

"Hey!" Jisung called out. He jogged towards him and threw himself on the ground next to the boy, panting heavily with exhaustion. "Why are you so hard to find? I've been looking for you for hours!"

"Sorry. Here are your glasses." Minho quietly told him as he handed the pair of glasses that was hanging on his collar. It was basically useless for Minho to wear it so he didn't bother doing so.

"Thanks. Uhm... here are yours. Uhhh... I just- I just wanna say I'm sorry for running into you like that earlier. Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"

"I'm fine." The other boy answered him with a curt tone. It was obvious that he didn't really want to talk to Jisung. But Jisung is not Jisung if not persistent, and so he prodded on.

"I'm Jisung by the way! Han. Ji. Sung." He said, enunciating every syllable with emphasis as, from his position on the ground, he offered one of his hands for Minho to shake.

Minho just looked at it though, tilting his head. His expression wasn't rude, just curious. As if it's the first time someone ever thought of shaking hands with him. He continued looking at Jisung's outstretched hands for a few more seconds before he said, "Okay."

"Huh?" Jisung gave him an incredulous look, but he grabbed Minho's hands anyway with both of his to force them to shake hands. The position was awkward and he felt like he was pulling a muscle on his left side, but he didn't mind. "Are you not gonna tell me your name?" He asked.

"Lee. Min. Ho." Minho said, emphasizing each syllable just like Jisung did earlier, before giving him a small shy smile.

"Ohhhh that's a cute name!" Jisung exclaimed happily. "We're friends now, okay?" He declared, not really giving Minho a chance to back out. "I'm 7 years old, by the way!"

"I'm your hyung then, because I'm about to turn 9 this year." Minho said a little too proudly than necessary.

"That's amazing! I've always wanted to have a big brother!" Jisung beamed at Minho like Minho was his most favorite person on earth.

To others, they may be two distinctly different personalities, but they soon found out that they're a lot more similar than they initially thought.

Since then, the two of them have basically been inseparable - they ate lunch together, went home from school together and basically did everything together. Together is what they usually are.

"Hyung! What university were you accepted into again?" Jisung asks Minho from his study table. The older was sprawled out on his bed, reading a book.

"Seoul Uni. Why?" Minho shoots him a questioning look, adjusting the round glasses perched on his nose.

"Ugh, why did you have to go to a college for smart people? I don't know if I'll even be accepted there." Jisung pouts. "I'll try, though."

Minho snorted at that. "We both know you can easily get into that uni if you want to." He shoots Jisung a confused look. "Why would you want to go there, anyway?"

"Because you're there. Duh?" the younger says in a matter-of-fact voice, as if the answer should've been obvious.

Minho and Jisung are just one year apart at school despite him being older in age by 2 years. It's because Jisung is a fluke that got accelerated into middle school. So when Minho attends uni this year, Jisung would only have to wait a year before he becomes a college student too.

Minho simply blinks at Jisung before turning back to his book. But the thought of them spending their college years together, just like they did their elementary and high school years, fills him with so much happiness he couldn't explain.

Minho is grateful for Jisung in more ways than one. Jisung, being the optimistic person that he is, always sees the good things in people first. And maybe that's why he's the only one who ever paid attention to Minho and tried to understand him. The only kid who gave him a chance. His sunny personality eventually rubbed off on Minho, to the point that even his parents have constantly mentioned the changes to him during their first year of friendship. Now, many years later, both of them still wear similar round glasses and Jisung still constantly brings out the best in him, still pushes him to be the best version of himself.

"Hyung! I have an idea!"

Minho squints at Jisung suspiciously. Jisung is an intelligent person, so much so that he doesn't even bother studying sometimes, "I'm sick of stressing out over grades; I just need to make sure I don't fail." He would tell Minho. The ideas he gets with this carefree personality is usually what lands them into trouble. "Please tell me it's actually a sane idea this time." He said, already sounding resigned to his fate.

"What if... What if we live together?" Jisung says, sounding hesitant at first but then finishing the question with a bright smile like it was the best idea he's ever thought of in his entire existence.

Minho, on the other hand, chokes on air. Whatever he thought Jisung's idea was, it definitely was not this. "No!" He answers quickly and perhaps a bit too intensely than he meant to.

"Why not?" Jisung frowns at Minho, hurt and disappointment flitting through his expression.

Minho didn't really have a good answer to that because he didn't know why he was against the idea either. What he does know is that the thought of living with Jisung suddenly made his heart beat loudly in chest and he couldn't breathe properly. Sure, attending the same uni sounds nice - that's what they've been doing for the past decade after all. But living together? Minho's not sure about that.

"How's that even different from what we're doing now? You're always here at my place. I'm always hanging out at your house. We basically live together!" Jisung asks him again, this time visibly annoyed at being turned down.

He really had a point, but Minho chose to keep quiet and pretended to focus on his book. Would everything be really the same if it were just the two of us? If we're alone together?

They end up living together anyway, much to Minho's frustration.

Because really, he didn't have it in him to deny Jisung what he wanted. And when both of their parents found out that they're going to attend the same uni, they fully supported Jisung's idea of sharing the studio unit Minho is currently renting. "It's cheaper that way and would keep our minds at ease knowing that you'll look out for each other." Their parents had said.

Minho didn't even want to think about what they'll say if they knew that the thought of just the two of them is enough to make him break into cold sweats and have trouble breathing, his heart threatening to leap straight out of his chest. He didn't want to think about the reason why kept feeling like that either.

Jisung moved into the unit the day right after his graduation, because he's an impatient person like that and he couldn't wait to "start his next chapter in life."

What used to be Minho's spacious and fairly clean apartment is now cramped and cluttered. Jisung really isn't an organized person and Minho could only laugh hysterically as he watches the younger try to squeeze in all the things he had into the little space that would be their home for the next four years or so.

Their unit isn't really that small, it's just that both of them have too much stuff.

It's a loft-type apartment, and the kitchen and 2-seater dining area is the first thing you'll step into when you come in. Walk a few steps more and you'll get to their living room, with a small flat-screen TV and a little couch. Then there's a short flight of stairs that leads to the loft, where there's barely enough space for two single beds. Minho even had to relocate his bedside table next to the TV. There's barely a meter of distance between their beds that Jisung even suggested they just push them together instead to make a bigger one. Of course, Minho fought against that idea with all his might even though they've slept in each other's bed countless times throughout the years they've known each other.

Two weeks after Jisung moved in and they already found an everyday routine. They wake up as early as they can, mostly because Minho loves going on walks in the morning. Minho cooks all their meals, but according to Jisung, that's only because between the two of them, he's far less likely to burn their place down.

Jisung seems to have found an innate talent for cooking rice perfectly, so he at least helps with that. They wash dishes together, with Jisung drying them and putting them on the rack. Their free times are spent playing games or watching movies or TV series. Every Saturday they do laundry, and on Sundays they go grocery shopping.

They sleep pretty late at night and Minho doesn't even know why. It's not like they're busy and have too much to do, but every day just seems to pass by quickly. One moment the clock is striking 12 noon, and then the next it's already 11 PM. Days just seem to pass by a lot quicker, and Minho starts to think that maybe living with Jisung isn't a bad idea after all, even though he can literally feel himself falling deeper and deeper into whatever blackhole it is that eventually leads to weird feelings for his best friend. Before they knew it, the first day of classes was upon them and they only have the weekends left to make the most of their vacation.

It's a Saturday morning, the last Saturday that they'll spend just lounging around in the house. Minho's first to wake up, slowly peeking his eyes open to greet another day. The first thing he sees is Jisung's peaceful sleeping face. They're lying face to face at the edges of their bed, as if they were opposite poles of two magnets unconsciously gravitating toward each other. If he reaches his hand out, he'll be able to touch the strands of Jisung's hair that are now covering half of his cheeks.

The two of them have always been physically affectionate towards each other. They don't skimp on hugs and cuddles. Even now, Jisung would sometimes sneak into his bed and sleep there with him, crowding him to one corner. But lately, cuddling with Jisung suddenly became a thousand times harder, because it hits him with a strong longing for the younger boy. Of course, he still does it because he likes to torture himself like that. Plus, he didn't want anything between them to suddenly change just because he's having an emotional crisis.

Their cuddles also became a lot... warmer? Intimate? Minho didn't know how to explain it. Before, the two of them would just lie on top of each other, putting all their weight onto the other just to tease and make the other suffer, sometimes getting into tickle fights and whatever silly games they come up with.

But now, they just... hug. Like a real hug - a warm, sincere one. And Minho didn't know what to make of it. He can't explain what exactly is changing, but there is something changing between them.

He sighed and tried to shake the thoughts off. He really didn't want to figure out these feelings now. He's scared of making things complicated.

He got up quietly and stood at the edge of the stairs to look around their home. Their home - what a phrase. It looks as lived-in as it can get. Jisung's cardigan slung over the sofa whose cheap foam now has a shallow dent in the middle from where they usually sit. There's a sign with their names right beside the study area where their books and laptops are.

Almost everything in the room now had two sets of everything - two sets of slippers, eating utensils, placemats on the table. It's a far cry from the dull and boring unit it used to be when Jisung wasn't around yet. The sight brings a barrage of emotions Minho couldn't quite understand. It brings a lump in his throat, a knot in the center of his chest and a bunch of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. And if he stews in his emotions a few minutes longer, he'd probably start crying for no apparent reason.

Minho huffed to himself and rubbed his face vigorously with his hands to shake off the thoughts before climbing down to cook their breakfast. He's determined to make every single minute of their last vacation days count.

Jisung slowly came into consciousness to the soft feel of the duvet surrounding him, the fluffy pillow under his cheeks, and the smell of bacon and eggs. What a perfect morning.

He took his time stretching, hoping that doing so would add a few more centimeters to his height, before getting up and peeking over the banister of the loft to look at what Minho was doing below.

"Hyung! Did you cook rice already?" That was his only task in the kitchen and he loves doing it because it makes him feel useful.

"I made kimchi fried rice from our leftover last night." Minho calls out to him from the kitchen. "Get your ass down here. I'm hungry."

Jisung skipped down the stairs and bounded up to Minho, who was transferring the bacon from the skillet and into a plate.

"Gooood morning, my favorite hyung!" Jisung says as he gave Minho a back hug.

"Good morning, Jisungie." Minho mumbles, throwing his head backwards to bump it on Jisung's shoulder. "I'm your favorite hyung? How many do you have anyway?"

"You're my only one."

It was a simple answer; it even sounded cheesy. Minho really didn't have to feel flustered because of it. And yet there he was feeling a blush creep up his cheeks. This is getting ridiculous, he thought to himself.

"Let go. I need to put this on the table."

"Don't want to." Jisung mutters in the most childish way possible as he hugs Minho tighter and rubs his cheeks on the older's back.

"Let go, Jisungie." Minho groans. But of course, Jisung didn't listen to him. So, the two of them wobbled towards the table, with Jisung still hanging on his hip like a koala. "Come on, let's eat, we have a long day ahead of us."

At this, Jisung finally detaches himself from his chokehold on Minho's torso. "We do? Did we make plans I'm forgetting right now?" Jisung asks as he helps himself to the steaming breakfast in front of him.

"We didn't. But I did."

"It's too early for your cryptic responses, hyung." Jisung mumbles incoherently, both of his cheeks stuffed with rice, bacon, and egg.

"I wanna do something fun with my last vacation days. Maybe go see a movie, go to a theme park or something."

"You're going to leave me here alone?" Jisung scowls at him.

"How could you even think that I'm going by myself?" Minho gave him an incredulous look. "Wow, Sungie... And here I thought you thought of us as a unit. You were the one who said we're a unit back in high school! I'm hurt. I'm truly hurt."

"Sorry hyung! You were referring specifically to yourself, so could you blame me if I thought you're going alone?" Jisung had the nerve to laugh at him. "You do know the words 'us' and 'we' exist, right? I love 'us' and 'we'!"

"You know what? I think I might just go alone after all."

Jisung guffaws at him and reaches over the table to pat his head like a baby. "Don't sulk, babe." Jisung struggles to hold in his silly giggle when Minho raises his brow at the endearment.

"How about we go to a theme park today and go see a movie tomorrow?" Minho suggests. He's surprised his voice didn't tremble because Jisung's endearment shook him to the core.

"Deal! Oh my god I'm so excited! The last time we went to a theme park is back in sixth grade and you didn't want to ride the roller coaster with me because you were scared!"

"Hah! You're one to talk, when you almost peed your pants when we were in the haunted house."

Jisung frowns at the thought. It was probably one of the most embarrassing moments in his life. The only time he lost all confidence and hung onto Minho for dear life as zombies and ghosts chased them around. He stuck his tongue out at Minho.

Minho smiles fondly at Jisung. He counts it as an achievement every time he manages to render the younger speechless, even though he felt a bit guilty for teasing. Finishing the rest of the food on his plate, Minho got up and walked over to Jisung, giving his forehead a peck as he repeated his words earlier. "Don't sulk, babe."

Jisung wolfs down his food as he tries to get his heartbeat under control. Perhaps it was just because of the excitement as he looks forward to all the fun they'd have today...

Three hours later, Minho's close to losing his patience as he asks for probably the tenth time over the past hour if Jisung is ready to go yet.

"Look, hyung. You gotta understand. I don't look godly like you. It's hard to make myself look beautiful!" Jisung yells at him from the loft.

You're always beautiful, though, Minho thought, but he ends up saying, "What do you have to be beautiful for? We're just going to a theme park!"

"I'm almost finished!" Jisung yells back. Right... we're just a pair of bros, going to a theme park. No big deal. He didn't understand why he felt like he needed to look good either. Today just felt special for him, kind of like a date, but Minho didn't have to know that, nope.

After a few minutes, he finally looked okay to himself and went down to a grumpy Minho, who looks effortlessly good in his white oversized shirt, like always. It's funny how the older doesn't even know how ridiculously good-looking he is, despite Jisung constantly telling him so.

It's funny that he thinks his glasses make him look weird, because they only make him more handsome. Jisung himself is wearing a denim jacket over a pinstripe long-sleeve shirt. And if anyone's gonna be insecure about their glasses, it should be him with his squirrel-like cheeks.

"C'mon hyung! Let's go!" Jisung said excitedly as he ran towards the door, completely missing the awed look Minho had on his face upon seeing him.

The theme park is just a 30-minute bus ride away from their place. It was packed with people because it's a Saturday, so it was a bit hard to go around. They didn't let that keep them from having fun, though. They tried out every ride, their throats sore from all the screaming and laughing they were doing. Some of the rides were a lot more challenging than Minho remembered, especially with his fear of heights kicking in. But Jisung seems to sense his fear every time and offers him a comforting hand. A favor that he also returned when they went to the Haunted House, which turned out to be a horrible ordeal for the both of them. Jisung because he hates jump-scares, and Minho because he hates the way his heart basically leapt out his chest every time Jisung clings to him.

By 6PM, their stomachs are rumbling with hunger. Instead of eating at one of the restaurants around the park, they sneaked hot dogs and Jamaican patties into the Ferris wheel, where they ate while staring at the sun setting in the distance. Minho thought it was a great way to cap off their day. Just the two of them, eating peacefully, finally getting a few moments of quiet after their hectic day.

Minho glances at Jisung whose cheeks were puffed up as he chewed on his food, the sunset highlighting his features in an orange glow and giving his hair a bronze tint.

Jisung is beautiful. And Minho's heart is aching with longing, the kind of longing that he shouldn't feel for his best friend. All he wanted to do at that moment is reach out, trace the outline of Jisung's cheeks, nose, and lips, run his fingers through his soft hair, pull him into his arms and kiss him senseless.

"You're beautiful." He blurts out before he could stop himself.

Jisung looks at him with wide eyes as if he couldn't believe what he just heard, and with so much sincerity at that. He could see the younger's ears slowly turning red. Mentally slapping himself for his momentary loss of self-control, Minho adds with a smirk, "but of course, I'm still prettier than you."

Jisung laughs, although it sounded a little awkward. Minho sounded so sincere just a minute ago and now he's trying to joke? It left Jisung reeling with emotions, but he tried his best to act normal.

"I can't believe you're actually saying that. Where did that confidence come from?"

From trying not to reveal my weird feelings for you. Minho thought to himself. Instead, he just shrugs, not trusting himself with words this time.

"It's good, though, that you're finally realizing how amazing you look. Because you do look amazing, hyung."

"Uhm... thanks, I guess?"

"So many people were gawking at you earlier. It was annoying."

"Are you jealous?" Minho teases, chuckling as he takes the last bite of his food.

Before Jisung could answer, the Ferris wheel was coming to a stop and it was almost their turn to get off. He's thankful that he had to gulp down his food to avoid being reprimanded by the staff for eating inside the ride, because it gave him an excuse to not answer Minho. To not reveal that yes, he is indeed jealous, even though he knows fully well that he doesn't have the right to be.

The day after that, they woke up early to do groceries.

Even though they've already prowled the 24 aisles of this particular supermarket countless times before, they still go through every single aisle today anyway, checking out every product on the shelf, looking for new interesting items that they might give a try.

The highlight of these weekly supermarket runs is the part where they get to stuff their faces with food at the free-taste section, although Jisung would argue that seeing Minho's eyes light up every time he finds a new, interesting food comes at a close second.

Minho, on the other hand, would argue that Jisung's pout every time he begs to buy something unhealthy is the close second. Either way, they both enjoy doing this every weekend, which is why their supermarket trips always last ten times longer than it should.

When they finally got and paid for everything that they actually need, it's already past lunchtime and their feet hurt because of all the walking they've done.

The blazing noontime sun casts a golden sheen to Jisung's slightly tanned skin and makes his hair strands glint every now and then. Minho can't help but stare at the display of rich colors, like a cat attracted to shiny things, as they walk towards their apartment. The sound of gravel crunching under their feet and the noises from kids playing at a nearby playground are drowned out by the thoughts in Minho's head. He really wants to make the most out of this day - their last vacation day. Starting tomorrow, they'll be swamped with schoolwork and would probably have less time for each other.

"Jisungie," Minho calls out to the younger, who's walking a few steps ahead of him. "Do you wanna watch a movie after we drop these off at home?" He says, gesturing to the bags of groceries they're carrying.

"Do you mean Netflix, or like movies movies?"

"I mean movies movies. There's this new horror movie I want to watch."

Jisung pretended to think for about two seconds before answering Minho with a wide smile on his face. "Sure! I won't pass up the chance to get free popcorn."

The thing about watching movies with Jisung is that he's really distracting, and Minho almost always focuses on what he's saying instead of actually watching the movie.

When he's not busy dissing the acting skills of the characters, Jisung's trying to guess the plot of the entire film, and most of the time he gets it right. Minho finds it entertaining - the people around them obviously don't.

They were even kicked out of the movie house that one time Jisung cracked a joke while they were watching "A Quiet Place" and Minho couldn't stop cackling. Which is a shame since this particular cinema is a Director's Club, meaning it's pricey because it's more private, the reclining couches are separated by twos, plus they offer fleece blankets and unlimited soda and popcorn of different flavors.

"I don't think that lady is going to last long. She's kind of dumb. Like, who the fuck puts their hand into a mysterious hole, in the middle of a tree, in the middle of freaking nowhere. That's just stupid." Jisung ended his tirade with a loud huff, prompting the people around them to make shushing sounds.

"Shut up, Jisung. We're gonna get kicked out again at this rate." Minho says, not bothering to lower his voice one bit, earning them another round of shushes from the other people watching the movie.

Jisung snickered but stopped talking nonetheless. A few minutes of silence passed and Minho thought that the younger had finally decided to focus on watching the film. He's about to tease him for it when Jisung folded the armrest separating their seats and scooted under the fleece blanket that Minho has been using.

"What are you doing?" Minho asks in a shaky voice, his tone octaves lower. It's not the first time Jisung got this close to him, but for some reason, this time makes him nervous, which is absolutely ridiculous.

"It's too cold. I get the urge to pee when I'm cold, and I don't want to get up to pee." Jisung whispers back.

"We can ask for another blanket." Minho says, about to push the button on the seat to call one of the cinema attendants.

Jisung reaches out a hand to stop him. "Don't bother. We can share this one." As if to prove his point, Jisung loops their arms together and settles his head on the crook of Minho's neck, completely oblivious to the internal turmoil that the older is battling against.

Minho tried to focus on the movie. He really did. But he gave up halfway through when all he could think of is the smell of Jisung's hair (strawberries and vanilla, just like his, because they share the same shampoo) and the warmth of Jisung's body pressed against his side.

He spent the remaining one and a half hours of the movie trying not to bury his nose in Jisung's hair, kiss the top of his head, pull the younger into a tight hug and confess all his feelings.

When the credits rolled in, he felt absolutely tired and miserable. He's never been this exhausted after watching a movie before, and all he could do is stare at the screen dejectedly and think about how stupid he is for developing feelings for his only best friend and how his stupid feelings are complicating everything that used to be normal for the both of them. He pulls up his phone with his free hand and types "how to unfeel your feelings" in the search bar.

"Hyung? What's that you're typing?" Jisung asks, trying to peek at his phone from his position on Minho's shoulder.

"Ugh. Can't you give me a bit of privacy?"

"That doesn't exist between us. You know that." Jisung jokes but thankfully stopped trying to peek at his phone.

Later that night, Minho types in the exact keywords again into the search bar, he's lying in his bed in the dark, with Jisung snoring just an arm's reach away on the other bed.

He discovers that Google isn't always useful, because one of the first results it gives him is telling him to just let himself feel his emotions. Absolutely useless and counterproductive, considering that his goal is to get rid of his complicated feelings for the person beside him, mumbling in sleep and drooling right on the pillow. Minho gives up his search and closes his eyes, waiting for sleep while wishing that the first day of classes tomorrow could divert his thoughts away from the feelings that he doesn't even want to face.

"Shit, shit, shit! I'm late!" Jisung shrieks as he frantically searches his closet for a pair of socks. The last thing he needs is to tarnish his attendance on the very first day of classes, so he set five alarms 2 hours early for his 8 AM class. How both he and Minho managed to sleep through those five alarms, only waking up a quarter before 8, is beyond him.

Minho is downstairs arranging his backpack for him, making sure he has all the necessary supplies and packing his lunch. "You only have exactly 8 minutes to get to class, Sungie." Minho reminds him, making him even more panicked.

"Jeez, thanks hyung. That's really reassuring." Jisung says as he comes running down the short flight of stairs from the loft, grabbing his bag from Minho and running straight to the door to put on his shoes. As he was about to step out, Minho came running to him.

"Jisung, wait! You forgot something!"

Maybe it's because of his flustered thoughts from panicking so early in the morning, or perhaps it was all the daydreaming he did over the weekends, but for some unknown reason, Jisung thought Minho was referring to a goodbye kiss when he told him that he forgot something.

And so, being the stupid and flustered gay that he is, Jisung stood on his tippy toes and reached for the back of Minho's neck, tugging his head gently towards him. Minho's eyes widened comically at the almost nonexistent (and quickly disappearing) distance between them, but Jisung didn't see this as he's already leaning in to give Minho's nose a quick little kiss.

"O-oh. That was nice." Minho stammers, "I, uhm, I was actually referring to this, but thank you for that too, I guess." The tips of Minho's ears are bright red as he dangles the house keys in front of Jisung's eyes.

It takes a few seconds for Jisung to understand what Minho just said and to realize what he just did. But when he does, he willed the ground beneath him to crack open and swallow him whole ASAP. Unfortunately, the floor remained intact. It's a good thing that he can use being late as an excuse to escape the embarrassment. And so without another word, he grabs the keys from Minho's hand and goes sprinting all the way to school.

Jisung barely made it in time. He entered the back door of the room at the same time the professor was entering from the front, and took a seat right on the first available one on the last row.

To his left sat a boy with striking red hair and spattering of freckles all over his cheeks. Jisung is a naturally affable person, and so he does what every affable person does: He greets the other boy excitedly, and to his surprise, the person greets him with the same enthusiasm too.

He later learns that the freckle boy's name is Yongbok, who introduced himself as Felix in class ("I prefer my English name," Felix had told him with a bright smile.), shocking everyone with his booming voice. He apparently shares his classes with Jisung every other day, which is how they came to the mutual agreement to eat lunch together, along with their two other classmates, Hyunjin and Seungmin.

The four of them just clicked, so it didn't take long for Jisung to feel at ease with them, falling into easy banter or comfortable silence as if they've been friends for as long as Minho and Jisung have. Speaking of Minho, it surprises Jisung that they've never seen each other at the campus ever since the classes started. Granted the campus is indeed a bit huge, their courses are completely different, and their buildings are located on opposite sides of the campus, but Jisung thought that they would at least pass by each other in the common areas at some point by now, especially since their break times are actually the same.

It's after a week of not meeting inside the school that Jisung realizes, with no small amount of wonder, that even though he and Minho are like a single unit - a staple in each other's lives - they're still their own persons.

There are things that he didn't know about Minho, and there are things Minho doesn't know about him, not because they've been keeping secrets from each other but just because they simply never found it important to talk about those little things, and that's absolutely okay.

While he feels a bit sad that he's not as privy to every single detail of the older man's life as he originally thought he is, it still makes him feel relieved that there are things that makes Minho Minho, and there are things that make Jisung Jisung, and it's not necessary for them share these things with each other just to continue being best friends.

Many people would think that Jisung is well aware of this, especially since he's the more outgoing one between the two of them and he has more acquaintances. But the truth is, even though he's friendly, it's not easy for him to really open up to other people. Minho knows him - the flaws in his personalities, all his insecurities and even how swollen his face can get in mornings - he doesn't have to hide anything from his best friend (except maybe his growing feelings that is far from friendly), which is why he also tends to be clingy with him instead of trying to accept other people in his life.

Being apart, even for that short amount of time, may actually did their friendship and individuality a favor. Of course, Jisung still misses the older. He often finds himself wondering about what Minho's doing at that moment, where he is, or if he's eaten lunch, but he's long accepted that this is just part of the both of them growing up, and that doesn't mean they're growing apart.

The chance to meet inside the campus came two weeks after the start of classes, when Jisung, in his haste to get to class on time, forgot the lunch that Minho prepared for him. What's funny is that Jisung didn't forget his daily goodbye kiss as he hurried out the door.

Ever since Jisung accidentally thought that he was asking for a goodbye kiss that first day of classes, he's been doing it every day without fail, and it turned into something like a running joke between the two of them. A running joke that never fails to make Minho's breath stutter along with his heart every single day. It's more of like a torture for Minho, really.

Minho sighs as he looks at Jisung's forgotten lunch box on the table, next to his. He looks at his watch and sees that he only has 15 minutes to get to his class. He doesn't have time to drop by Jisung's building to give him his food, so he decided to just meet up with him during lunchtime. He texts the younger as he walks out of the apartment. He receives Jisung's reply just a few seconds later, agreeing to meet at lunch and asking him if it's okay to bring his friends so that they could be introduced.

Minho hesitates at first, not really keen on meeting new people. He only has one "friend" from his department, if he could even call Changbin that. All they do is bicker and tease each other. He heaves a sigh and texts Jisung that it's okay, deciding that it's high time that they meet at school anyway. He's curious about Jisung's newfound friends too, since he often sounds so fond whenever he talks about them.

Lunchbreak rolled around and Minho found himself walking alongside Changbin, who he dragged against the man's will, towards the cafeteria in the middle of the campus. It's halfway between both of their buildings, so he and Jisung thought it would be fair to just meet there.

"Do I really need to be here?" Changbin grumbled under his breath.

"Of course!" Minho answers, rolling his eyes at the shorter man. He needs Changbin beside him so he has someone to talk to just in case Jisung's new friends ignore him, not that Jisung would ever make him feel out of place, but it's better to be prepared.

"Why can't he just buy food from the cafeteria like a normal student?" Changbin whines again.

"One, because my food tastes better. Two, because Jisung suffered food poisoning after eating food from the cafeteria back in middle grade, and since then he'd only eaten home-cooked meals at school." Minho calmly explains, shutting Changbin up but not without getting a glare first.

"Fine. At least I'll finally meet this infamous Jisung that you never shut up about."

"What do you mean? I don't talk about him that much!"

Changbin just gives him an incredulous look, muttering "you're pathetic" under his breath. Minho chose to keep quiet because he can't say that he isn't.

When they get to the cafeteria, Jisung and his friends are already waiting by the door. Jisung spots Minho first, waving his hands high up in the air to greet them.

"Minho-hyung! Hyung!" He screams his lungs out to get the other boy's attention, earning curious and amused glances from the other students around them.

"Hey, man, keep it down. He saw you already." Seungmin whispers to him through gritted teeth while Felix and Hyunjin simply laughs at his distress.

Jisung ignores them, eyeing the grumpy-looking man beside Minho who he's never met before. He didn't know Minho is bringing a friend as well, but he's happy to meet any of Minho's friends anyway so it's no big deal.

The pair is walking too slowly for Jisung's liking, so he decides to skip the remaining distance between them, leaving his friends behind. He latches onto Minho's arm as soon as he can reach the older boy, giving him his brightest gummy smile, which Minho knows is reserved for times when Jisung is really feeling happy.

"Hyung! I thought I'd never see you in here!" Jisung whines as he half-pulls Minho towards his friends.

Minho scoffs and ruffles his hair. "Don't you dare forget your lunch again. I don't want to walk halfway through campus again just to give it to you." He's lying, of course. Minho would run ten laps around the campus if Jisung tells him to. Apparently, Changbin knows that as well, because he hears the man muttering "liar, you're obviously whipped" to himself.

"Hmm? Did you say something?" Jisung asks Changbin politely. "Oh! Sorry I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Jisung!" Jisung says cheerily as he extends his free hand.

Changbin takes it in a firm grip. "My name's Changbin."

"It's so nice to meet you! I'm happy Minho-hyung is making friends."

"Are we friends?" Changbin asks Minho the same time the latter says, "We're not actually friends."

Changbin rolls his eyes while Jisung simply laughs as they reach the door to the cafeteria. He points to his friends, introducing each one to Minho and Changbin. Seungmin is apparently a puppy, while Hyunjin is a llama and Felix is a cat.

"Wow geez, thank you for the very detailed introduction, Jisung." The boy with light brown hair says as he waves at Minho and Changbin. Minho does his best to smile and wave back, but he couldn't focus because he's busy eyeing the tall boy (Is his name Hyunjin?) who just literally cooed at Jisung and called him cute over the way he introduced them.

Minho feels his mood sour significantly, but pushes down the weird feeling crawling up chest and making his heart clench. Instead, he smiled at Jisung's friends and gestured to Changbin. "It's nice to meet you all. Jisung talks so much about you guys. This is Changbinnie, my friend."

"I thought I wasn't your friend?"

"Well, you are now." Minho says petulantly with a roll of his eyes.

"When hyung is rude to you, it means he likes you." Jisung explains to no one in particular, to which the other four nodded in understanding.

"Excuse me? I'm standing right here?" Minho says indignantly.

"Whatever, hyung. Let's find a seat, I'm hungry."

Minho moves to put his arms around Jisung, as he normally does whenever they walk together, but before he can even take a step closer to him, Hyunjin's already there, doing exactly what Minho was about to do.

Minho didn't notice that he was just standing there and staring blankly at Hyunjin's back, until Changbin elbowed him (rougher than necessary, in Minho's opinion) and gave him a pointed look. "What are you doing? Why are you glaring at them?"

"I'm not." Minho tries to say nonchalantly as he gets his feet moving again.

Changbin snorts at that. "You are, hyung. You're so obvious."

Minho rolls his eyes at his friend but keeps silent. He knows he has no right to feel this way when Jisung is just his best friend.

Lost in his thoughts, Minho silently takes a seat at the table they chose in the far end of the cafeteria and starts preparing his and Jisung's lunch while the others go to the counter to buy theirs. Jisung takes a seat next to him, resting his head on his hands as he waits for the older to finish what he's doing.

"Hyung, sorry I forgot my lunch. I didn't mean to bother you." Jisung says, feeling a bit guilty that the older had to go all the way to this cafeteria because of his carelessness. "I promise I won't forget it again."

"It's no big deal. You know I chose to be here." Minho gives him a reassuring smile, putting his arms around Jisung's shoulder to ruffle his hair and give him a peck on the crown of his head.

It was nothing more than a platonic gesture. In fact, Minho's done it a hundred times before. The only difference is that Minho used to do it when it's just the two of them.

But now, he just did it right there, in the middle of the cafeteria, for all the others to see. His friends are even looking at them curiously as they walk towards their table. Jisung is not the least bit embarrassed. In fact, he's stupidly happy. He can't help but feel warm and fuzzy because of it, and he can feel the heat creeping up his cheeks.

But he knows it's ridiculous to think about it too much. He tries to get his pounding heart under control, cursing himself for making so much fuss about the simple friendly gesture.

"Are you okay?" Felix asks him.

No, he is in fact not okay, but he can't just go and announce that he's in a state of gay panic right now, so he just nods at Felix and starts eating his lunch once everyone is seated. Fortunately, it didn't take long for Jisung to recover his confidence. Hyunjin's loud laughter, Felix's funny antics and Seungmin's eternally fed up expression takes his mind off his thoughts.

It was nice to see Minho open up a little to his friends. He and Seungmin seem to be having some sort of competition on who is more savage, either throwing each other sarcastic remarks or ganging up on poor Changbin, who Jisung thinks is a very nice person too.

Minho seems to warm up instantly to Felix, which isn't surprising - Felix just tends to have that effect on people. What Jisung doesn't understand, though, is why Minho doesn't seem to be interested in talking to Hyunjin.

Jisung was interrupted from his rambling thoughts when Minho nudged him with his elbows and looked at him with disgust. He widens his eyes at the older to wordlessly ask him what the problem is. With a roll of his eyes, Minho wipes the bit of red sauce on the corner of Jisung's lips using his thumb.

"Ugh. You eat like a disgusting 5-year-old." Minho says as he absentmindedly brings his thumb to his mouth, licking the sauce off it clean.

Jisung retaliates by jabbing a finger into Minho's side, where he knew the older is ticklish, completely missing Changbin's raised brows or the questioning look Felix is throwing Seungmin and Hyunjin, silently asking if they also saw what Minho did and if it means what they thought it means.

Despite Jisung's promise, he still forgets his lunch from time to time, and on days like that, his friend group would eat together with Minho and Changbin somewhere around the campus. This recurs often enough that they have somehow become closer to each other, although Minho still seems a bit awkward with Hyunjin for some reason Jisung couldn't fathom.

The weeks passed by in a blur, with homework, projects, and exams filling their days. Jisung felt like a robot, programmed to just eat, sleep and study every single day, and by the time their final exams for the semester have come, he's ready to spontaneously combust from the stress.

"It's because you weren't a diligent student back in high school. This is your first time actually trying to study." Minho had told him with a snicker and a shake of his head one time Jisung vented out his frustrations. When Jisung just pouted in response, Minho reassured him that his grades are great anyway, so at least the effort is paying off.

Regardless if he's doing great or not, Jisung just wants to relax. So he invites Hyunjin, Seungmin, Felix and Changbin to have a sleepover at their apartment on the second to the last day of the semester. It's the day when all their exams would be done and they'd only have to come back the next day to submit some requirements. It's the perfect day to celebrate before some of his friends head over to their homes for the semestral break.

"Finally! We're free!" Jisung shouts in front of their building with his arms stretched out to the sky. Beside him, his three friends only chuckle while stretching out their joints, muscles sore from hours of sitting inside the classroom and answering exams. "Come on! Let's buy booze from the supermarket before heading to our apartment!"

"When I said I wanted to celebrate, I was thinking of beer, soju, and chicken." Jisung says in disgust as he eyes the cans of soda and fizzy yogurt drinks arranged inside their fridge.

"Hey, at least we have chicken!" Minho retorts, pointing to the two boxes of chicken laid out in their dining table next to the pizza, packs of ramen and bags of chips.

Jisung scowled at him. Apparently, Minho made a promise to Jisung's mom to keep him sober, and he's not about to break that promise right in their home, going as far as returning the alcohol that Jisung bought to the supermarket and exchanging them for non-alcoholic drinks.

"I'm going to buy beer and you can't stop me." Jisung says in a fit of childish pettiness, complete with foot stomping and pouting, which Minho secretly thinks is adorable, but he can't let that weaken his resolve.

"Do that and I will call your mother, Jisung, I swear to god"

"Come on, hyung! You're so boring! This is a one-time thing! Don't be such a mood-killer." Jisung says, a little too rudely than he intended.

The comment hurt more than Minho would like to admit, especially since it's said in front of their friends, and he couldn't help but raise a brow at Jisung to silently ask him what the fuck his problem is. But he doesn't want to be called butthurt on top of being boring and a mood-killer, so he just sighed exasperatedly and was about to drill some sense into Jisung's head when Hyunjin suddenly cut into their argument.

"Hey, Ji. It's okay! Let's just have a movie marathon tonight. I'm not really in the mood to get drunk either." Hyunjin turned to the other guys to ask them if they're alright with that idea. Their friends all agreed and soon they're all in front of the TV, watching a random action comedy that Felix chose on Netflix, with the food cramped on the coffee table in front of them.

Minho didn't really pay attention to the film. In fact, he's in no mood to be with other people at all. He just wants to tune out the occasional chatter of their friends, curl up in his bed and sleep away his annoyance. But he knows doing that will definitely kill the mood for real, so he tries his best to mingle even though he's deep in his thoughts. He keeps replaying the argument with Jisung earlier in his head, thinking about how the latter easily brightened up and acquiesced to Hyunjin's idea.

Minho hates it - this side of him that feels jealous and resentful. This side of him just wants to withdraw from the Jisung, from their friend group, from the world, just like he did when he was a kid, before he and Jisung became friends. He hates that he's feeling this way because he somehow fell in love with his best friend. He hates it because it threatens to crack the strong foundation of the friendship they built over the years. He hates these feelings and all the complicated mess they bring forth.

When the credits roll, Minho almost lets out a relieved sigh. Deciding that he's probably put on enough show to convince the others that he's exhausted instead of annoyed, he stands up and excuses himself from the group, saying something about being tired and needing sleep, which isn't entirely a lie. He is tired of being with so many people, and he needs to be alone and sleep before he starts scowling and snapping at their friends.

The guys put on a new film, this time a suspense thriller. Jisung tries his best to pay attention, but he's distracted by Minho, so he tries to subtly watch him from the corner of his eye as he goes about his nightly routine before climbing up to their loft and going to bed.

He's been observing Minho since their argument earlier. The older didn't react to any of the scenes in the first movie they watched, so he knows that he's deep in thought. He didn't say a word as well, simply nodding or smiling to whatever Changbin or their other friends were saying instead of responding. To other people, Minho may just seem like he's too engrossed in the movie. But Jisung has known him long enough to know that there's something wrong. And the look Minho gave him earlier, with his serious expression and arched brow, tells him that he's the reason.

Jisung chews at his lip, a guilty feeling eating at his conscience. He's fought with Minho countless times in the past. Arguments are just sometimes a part of being long-time friends - it's normal to not agree with each other all the time. But for some reason, this argument seems more serious and Jisung can't shake off the feeling that this time is different.

Did he go too far with his teasing? Is Minho that mad at him? He just meant to argue playfully, he didn't really mean to offend the older. Minho didn't even bid him good night and he usually does before going to bed, does that mean he's really angry? Will everything be okay tomorrow? Can he really sleep soundly without saying sorry?

He decides he can't. Hell, he can't even focus on a movie, what more sleep? So halfway through the film, he apologizes to their friends and tells them he's feeling sleepy too. If they know that he's just saying that as an excuse to go to Minho, they didn't say anything. They just reassured him that it's okay and bid him goodnight. After helping set up the folding mattress, giving them pillows and blankets, and telling them that they can come up anytime if they want to share the bed, Jisung finally went upstairs and climbed into Minho's bed.

Minho was almost falling asleep when he felt his mattress dip. He heard Jisung excuse himself from the group minutes ago so he was expecting the younger to come up and go to bed. But he didn't expect him to climb into his bed. He knows it's small for the two of them so he scoots to the side to give Jisung more space. Jisung shuffles closer to him, looping his arms around his torso and pulling himself toward Minho so that they're now lying flush against each other. Minho feels his heartbeat start to pick up speed and he tries his best to get it under control.

"Minho-hyung?" Jisung whispers against the back of his neck, his voice sending little vibrations down his skin, warm breath tickling him and causing him to shudder. He knows Jisung felt it because his hold tightened around his waist before he asked, "Are you sleeping?"

Minho gulped and cleared his throat before whispering back. "Yes. Now, stop breathing down my neck."

"I'm sorry."

"You just said that while breathing on me again." Minho strains to say. Jisung seriously needs to stop whispering against his skin because his thoughts are going haywire. He could feel heat starting to pool somewhere it shouldn't, and damn his body really shouldn't be having these reactions right now for his best friend. He's ashamed of himself. "Stop breathing down my neck... please."

Jisung sighs (against his neck again and Minho feels like he's about to die) before shifting a bit so that his forehead is now resting between Minho's shoulders, his arm still looped around his waist.

"You know what I mean, hyung. I'm sorry that I offended you earlier. I didn't mean to, I thought I was being funny." Jisung says in a voice low enough that only Minho would hear. "I don't think I can sleep without telling you that."

Minho was quiet for awhile - he didn't know what to say. Thinking back to the argument earlier, everything just seems stupid now. They really just fought over alcoholic drinks in front of their friends, didn't they? He really let jealousy win over his sensible side, didn't he?

"It's okay. I didn't have to be so dramatic about it. You were only being honest, after all."

"No, hyung. Don't gaslight yourself like that. You know I'm wrong. I know I'm wrong for being so immature when you're only trying to be responsible for the both of us. I'm sorry... I'm really sorry."

Minho turns around to face Jisung. They're a lot closer than he thought and he could smell the younger's minty breath every time he breathes, but Minho does his best to focus on Jisung's sincere eyes that's filled with regret right now. He's suddenly hit with the desire to kiss away that regret until it's filled with just happiness and other good feelings, but he pushes that thought aside because he can't very well act on it. Instead, he rubs his hand reassuringly down Jisung's back, knowing how much it calms the younger. "It's okay, Sungie. I'm not mad at you."

"Well, I was earlier, a little. But not anymore." And it's true. He is reminded once again of how a single smile from Jisung can bring him out of his shell, how a single fleeting touch from him can make Minho feel like everything is right in the world again. "You know I can't be mad at you for too long." He adds, absentmindedly tracing the curve of Jisung's brows with his free hand.

Minho is reminded that this feeling - the feeling of security, contentment and happiness just being near Jisung - is what makes him want to be a constant in the younger's life. And if it's being just a friend, then he'll take that. He'll take whatever Jisung is willing to give and return it a hundredfold in his own way. It makes his heart clench with longing, but he ignores the feeling.

Jisung eyes are getting droopy, which always happens whenever Minho rubs his back. "Do you remember back in high school? There was a week when you're always having trouble sleeping and you'd go to our house in the middle of the night and demand me to rub your back like this so you can sleep."

Jisung chuckles sleepily at the memory, his eyes almost fluttering shut but he tries to keep them open as he stares at Minho. "I remember that, hyung. This just feels so comforting."

"I wouldn't know. You never do it to me."

"You know my hands get clammy and they just tug at your shirt or your skin." Jisung says defensively.

"I know, I know." Minho chuckles at that before pulling Jisung even closer to him, tucking the younger's head underneath his chin and tightening his hold around his waist as if there's still space to close between their bodies. "Let's get some sleep. We still have to wake up early tomorrow." Minho whispers against Jisung's brown locks. He waited for the latter's breathing to even out, all the while rubbing his back for comfort, before kissing him on the top of his head and finally letting drifting off to sleep.

Jisung woke up to what was perhaps the noisiest morning their apartment has ever witnessed yet, the sound of his phone alarm blaring near his ears along with the screams and laughter from downstairs chasing the haze of sleep from his brain.

The next thing he registers is the familiar smell of Minho's fabric conditioner-slash-cologne. For a second, he wonders why the scent is enveloping him from every side, but then he remembers climbing into Minho's bed the night before and talking to him before falling asleep.

A lazy smile creeped onto his lips as he languidly stretched over the older's bed. The feeling of Minho's soft comforter together with the homey scent is pulling him back to slumber, but before he could close his eyes and get back to sleep, the sound of footsteps climbing up the loft alerts him that he has to get up.

"Sungie! Minho-hyung told me to wake you up." Felix hovered over him by the side of the bed.

Jisung frowns and whines. "Can't we be a little late today? We're only going to submit require-"

"Jisungah! Get your ass down here! The food is ready!" Minho's yell cut off the rest of what Jisung was about to say, so he just sighs and waves a giggling Felix to go downstairs first.

"I'm awake! I'm awake! I'll get down in a minute!" Jisung yells back to Minho as he sluggishly gets up and climbs down.

He was greeted by the sight of everyone crowding around the two-seater dining table. Changbin and Felix dragged the extra two chairs from the study area to use as their seats, while Hyunjin just leaned on the armrest of Seungmin's chair. Jisung squeezed past them to check on Minho, who's still in front of the range, scooping ham and eggs into a plate.

"Hyung, I thought you said food is ready." Jisung whines as he hooks his chin over Minho's shoulder and crushes him in a back hug.

Minho wheezes as if his breath was literally squeezed out of him. "It is. You're going to kill me. Stop." He lets out a dramatic cough, pretending to double over when Jisung releases him. The latter sounds worried as he rubs Minho's back to try to comfort him. Minho's fake cough ends in a burst of laughter when he sees the horrified look on Jisung's face, which soon turns into a scowl after he realizes that Minho was just being overly dramatic.

"I hate you."

"No. You don't." Minho says, squeezing the younger's cheek. "And you're right. Back rubs feel cozy. I'm going to have to ask you for back rubs tonight." He says with a wink, which leaves Jisung stunned into silence.

Why did he have to wink at me while saying that? What do I do now? Jisung internally panics. Thank god he's saved from actually responding when Minho took the plates full of ham and eggs to the dining table, leaving Jisung standing in the middle of the small kitchen.

The rest of the breakfast passed by uneventfully. Fortunately, Jisung thinks, because he doesn't think he can handle any more winks from Minho. Since when did he learn how to wink anyway?

Jisung and the others took turns taking a bath, which they had to be quick about because there's only one bathroom after all and they didn't have much time to spare. Minho and Changbin, who both opted to go last since their classes are a little later than the first years', are in the living room watching TV when Jisung went down after getting dressed up.

"Hyung, we're going." Jisung says, leaning down to give Minho a kiss on his nose. The latter looked surprised for a split second before tilting his face up and booping his nose on the younger's lips. It's what they always do before any of them goes out of the house, so Minho's surprised look puzzled Jisung.

That was until he realized that they have an audience.

Minho probably didn't expect him to do it in front of their friends.

Jisung glances around them awkwardly, somehow meeting every one of their friend's curious eyes. To make the situation a hundred times more awkward than it already is, his cheeks and the tips of his ears are now heating up.

Minho clears his throat awkwardly from his seat. "You guys should probably get going. You're running late."

That pulls Jisung from the flustered mess that he's become. "Right. Right! C'mon!" He says, his pitch several octaves higher than it usually is. He waved at Changbin, not really meeting his eyes, before zooming to the door, putting on his shoes and leading the way out.

He would've preferred to stay quiet on the walk to the campus. But apparently, that's not an option when your friends want gossip.

"So, Jisung." Felix starts and Jisung automatically groans in resignation. "How long have you and Minho-hyung been together?"

Well, that startles him. He expected his friends to ask him if he had feelings for Minho, not assume that they're together. He looks at the freckled boy with a shocked expression, his eyes wide. "What? What do you mean?"

Felix rolls his eyes at him. "You and Minho. How long have you been boyfriends?"

"Boyf-- We- What? We're not."

"We- we're not together. I'm not his boyfriend." He manages to finally stammer out, the last bit sounding a little sadder than he intended.

"Oh. Really? You two are not together?"

Jisung shakes his head. This seems to puzzle Felix even more.

"You two act like you've been married for years though." Seungmin suddenly pipes up.

"I guess that's because we've been around each other for so long. We're already comfortable with each other."

"That's the same as being married. You two live together, you're comfortable with each other, you do domestic stuff like back hugging while the other's cooking." Hyunjin explains. "You're basically a single unit - a team. The only difference is you don't have sex. Unless..." Hyunjin trails off, looking at Jisung like he just had an epiphany that involves his and Minho's private life.

"Hyunjin! What the fuck are you thinking about!" Jisung screeches, covering Hyunjin's eyes as if that will censor his thoughts.

Great. Now that image is in his thoughts as well. He squeezes his eyes close and tries to think of other wholesome stuff (like Minho eating ants when they were kids or the time he accidentally stabbed him with a pencil) before his body reacts to his randy thoughts. His friends just cackle, clearly enjoying his discomfort.

"If you two are not together, then would you go on a date with me?" Hyunjin says casually.

That effectively distracts Jisung and shocks him too. Apparently, Felix and Seungmin are surprised as well, because they're also looking at Hyunjin like he just grew a third head.

"I'm being serious." Hyunjin adds.

"But why?" Seungmin is the one to ask. "I mean, no offense Jisung. It's just so sudden."

Jisung thinks he might be imagining the fleeting hurt he sensed from Seungmin's question so chose to ignore it, waving his hands at the latter to motion that he didn't take any offense and is just as curious to know why Hyunjin is suddenly interested in him.

"Well, why not?" Hyunjin asks Jisung directly. "Unless I'm not your type?"

Jisung doesn't have a type. He never actually imagined that he'd be romantically involved with anyone. Other than Minho, that is, and even that is just a recent realization.

It's not that he thinks he and Minho will ultimately end up together just like in the fairytales. In fact, he's never even thought about that at all in the past, until he recently started feeling weird things for his best friend. It's just that he was so happy, secured and used to them being together, even as best friends, that he never really had any reason to entertain the idea that he might date someday. Or that Minho might date someday.

"I'm- I don't really-"

"We'll hang out tomorrow whether you like it or not." Hyunjin tells him, pouting like a kid, and Jisung didn't really have the heart to say no.

Tomorrow came a lot quicker than Jisung expected.

Telling Minho about his plans for the day is even harder than he thought. He didn't even know why he's making such a big deal out of it when Hyunjin said they'll just hang out. He felt shy and he can't shake off the feeling of guilt, as if he's cheating on Minho by doing this, which is ridiculous.

Pull yourself together. Don't act like he's your boyfriend. He's your best friend for fuck's sake. Jisung keeps telling himself as he delays telling Minho about Hyunjin's suggestion. He delays it until the last minute, until he's standing in the living room and ready to go out, still not knowing what to say.

"Where are you going?" Minho asks hesitantly, looking at him from head to toe as he stands up from the couch.

"Hyunjin asked me to hang out with him today, hyung."

. Minho thought sadly. Oh, so that's why he's been busy all morning trying to look nice.

"Uhm, with the other guys?"

"No. Just the two of us. Uhm..." Jisung paused, as if thinking for the right words to say "He actually asked me if I want to date him, hyung. I'm not really sure, so maybe we'll just hang out to see."

The wave of jealousy that hit Minho was overwhelming and so unexpected, making his heart clench, making it harder for him to breathe and tying his gut into a knot. He pushed past the bitterness rising in his throat and pursed his lips.

"But I wanted to watch a movie." He says, his voice pathetically sad.

"Oh, okay. We'll just be having lunch. I'll come home as soon as we finish, hyung, so we can watch a movie."

"But who will cook the rice for lunch?" Minho knows his attempt to get Jisung to stay is really pitiful. He should really just shut up.

I am so fucking pathetic, he thinks. Why can't he just go and tell Jisung not to go on that date. That he wants him to stay. That he wants them to spend this day and every day with each other, together.

He can't because he doesn't have the right to say that and he knows it. So when Jisung asked him if he should just cancel on Hyunjin, Minho tells him no, walks him to the front door, tells him to have fun and waves him goodbye with a heavy heart.

Minho gently closes the door behind him and leans on it as he takes a deep breath to calm his emotions. His knees buckle as he realizes that Jisung didn't give him a goodbye kiss on the nose. He smiles bitterly to himself at how selfish and immature his thoughts are. He never knew that the absence of such a gesture that they've already considered mundane, would be enough to break him.

Feeling as if his limbs are a thousand tons heavier, Minho drags himself up the loft and climbs into Jisung's bed. He was curled up on himself when his first tear fell, and then the dam was breaking.

He knows he's probably being too dramatic. He doesn't even understand the full reason why he's crying. Yes, he has feelings for his best friend, but why the tears? He decides the answer doesn't matter anyway, so he no longer makes an effort to stop the silent sobs that shudders his every breath.

Minho never really cried. Even when he got bloody bruises as a child or when people told him bad things while growing up, he always resorted to laughing the pain away instead of crying. Yet now here he is, weeping his heart out on a Saturday noon, curled up into himself on his best friend's bed. He really wanted to roll his eyes at himself.

When his sobs have ebbed and he's finally able to think a little more clearly, he wonders again why he felt so hurt to the point that he cried.

Perhaps it was the thought of Jisung falling for someone someday, and it's not him, and he can't do anything about it because he's just Jisung's best friend.

Perhaps it was the realization that Minho only dared to dream of being with Jisung but he never really had the courage to take that step. He had the chance, but now it feels like it's slipping through his fingers.

Perhaps it was the fact he fell in love with his best friend, and is still falling deeper. He didn't know when it started, but the thought of falling further scares him because there are so many things at risk. The thought of losing Jisung scares him.

Perhaps it was simply because he misses Jisung, right from the moment he stepped out of their home.

He misses Jisung so much that it hurts so bad and he can't do anything but just wait for him to come back.

Or perhaps it was all those reasons combined.

Jisung glances at his watch for the fifth time on his walk home. It's already 6:30 PM. He hopes Minho is still in the mood to watch a movie with him. His "date" with Hyunjin lasted longer than he expected, as the latter insisted they go to an arcade and then after that to a noraebang. While he had a great time, he couldn't get Minho away from the back of his mind.

He kept thinking about how he should invite Minho to the café they went to because it had good Iced Americano. The strawberry cheesecake also fits Minho's taste. And oh, Minho's favorite song is number 1025 in this noraebang, that's his birthday and he'll find that amusing. Jisung catches himself thinking of these midway and would sigh exasperatedly to himself.

Hyunjin must have sensed that he's distracted because he suddenly stopped the song they were in the middle of belting out before looking at him with an understanding expression and telling him that they should go home.

"You know, this should be enough to make you two realize that you should be together." He told him with an amused smile before waving goodbye and walking off. Jisung only managed to process what he said on the walk back home.

Is Hyunjin right? He probably is. What's the use of going out with other people if he'd only think of Minho? Maybe Jisung should stop trying to fight his feelings and face it once and for all. But what if he's been reading Minho wrong? He thinks there's something different now in their relationship, but what if it's just a product of his imaginations? Should he still push through with confessing even if that can make things awkward between them?

Jisung told himself "fuck it" as he pushed open the door to their apartment and stepped inside. They usually had the lights open by this time of the night, but the room is dark right now and there's no sight of Minho. Jisung closed the door behind him and flipped the light switch on.

Minho's shoes are still in the rack, so unless he had another pair of shoes that Jisung didn't know about, then he's probably still at home and is either sleeping or hiding somewhere to give him a jump scare. He hopes it's not the latter since the last thing he needs is to scare away his resolve to confess.

"Minho-hyung?" He softly called out as he glanced around their living room and found no one. With his heart pounding (whether from the anticipation of a jump scare or from fear of what he's about to tell Minho, he didn't know), he climbed up the stairs and turned on the night light.

And there was Minho. Sleeping peacefully on Jisung's bed, his lips slightly parted, the round glasses askew on his face and his knees folded to his chest. Jisung feels his heart swell. It's suddenly clear to him. This is the person he wants to be with, no one else.

He walks toward the bed and gently sits by the edge. He cards his hand through Minho's hair, the soft strands fluttering back down to the older's forehead after filtering through Jisung's fingers.

Jisung sighs a sigh of defeat, yet it makes him feel relieved. He's finally had enough walking around his feelings. If he finds out Minho doesn't like him back, then that's okay. He'd still continue being Minho's best friend even if things might seem awkward for a while, and he knows Minho long enough to be sure that he won't walk out of Jisung's life because of that. He probably should've realized that a bit sooner, but what can he do? Sometimes matters of the heart just makes you think of stupid stuff.

Jisung gently lies down on the bed next to Minho. It's small and there's little to no space for him by the edge. Minho subconsciously scoots toward the wall to give him more space, looping an arm around his waist to keep him from falling over the edge of the bed. It amuses Jisung how much they've done this without really thinking about it, often enough that they've become attuned to the feeling of the other lying next to them and how their body reacts in return is by muscle memory alone.

This is definitely what domesticity feels like, and Jisung wants more of it.

Minho stirs awake because of all the movement, slowly opening his eyes and staring at Jisung as if he can't believe that he's there right in front of him. "Oh, you're home." He says with a voice hoarse from sleep.

Jisung didn't respond because the first thing he notices is Minho's red, swollen eyes. He carefully traces the soft skin under them with his thumb and lets his hand gently rest by the side of Minho's face, cupping cheeks.

"Why are your eyes so red?" He whispers. There's something about the quietness of the room, the only sound being their quiet breathing and the rustle of sheets with every small movement, that makes him want to preserve the moment.

Minho just averts his eyes and closes them before nuzzling into Jisung's hair.

"No, look at me please." Jisung shifted away a little, so he could keep eye contact with Minho. "Have you been crying?"

Minho sighs, his soft breath ruffling the strands of Jisung's hair. He moves backward and meets Jisung's eyes. The latter could practically see the gears turning in Minho's head, as if he recognizes this moment as a turning point and just a few choice words could unfold a vastly different scenario that would inevitably change everything between them.

Minho's eyes took on a determined gleam before he gave a small nod.

"...Because I miss you."

Jisung stares up into Minho's eyes, searching them for the same emotions that are blooming and thriving inside his own chest. He didn't have to search hard, because they were there, clear as day, and he can't believe he's been blind to it all this time.

"How long have we known each other, Jisung?"

"More than a decade. 12 years?"

"Yeah, that's a pretty long time."

Their voices are so soft that Jisung's afraid the sound of his pounding heart can be heard in the small space between them.

"You've always been a constant in my life since we met. Like how there's a sun during the day and the moon at night - I just know that you're always there. But lately..." Minho says hesitantly. "Lately, the lines have become so blurry. Whenever I think of the future, of forever, you're there. Not just as my best friend."

Minho looks at him with a question in his eyes, silently asking if he understands. And he does, so he nods as he absentmindedly plays with the soft fuzz on Minho's cheek.

"I think of the future as me and you. Me with you." Jisung admits, a small wistful smile forming on his lips.

Minho swallows the lump in his throat and tries to calm his heart. "Jisung, I think... I think I'm in love with you."

The words hang in the air as Jisung stares into his eyes. His gaze drifts to Minho's nose, his cheeks and then his lips, as if the younger is mapping out his features. When Jisung tilted his head up to him, Minho didn't bother fighting the feeling of longing anymore.

He leans down to close the small space between them and brings their lips together.

Minho doesn't really know what he's doing, and he's sure neither does Jisung, but that's okay.

Minho moves his lips over the Jisung's in a slow, steady rhythm, catching the younger's lower lip in between his before releasing it and doing the same to his upper lip. The kiss is simple and awkward, to say the least, but it's so very them that it makes Minho's heart pound even harder.

Jisung tilts his head to one side to give Minho better access then brings his hand up to lightly grip the older's hair, bringing their bodies closer. This seems to unlock something primal in Minho's as he moans into the kiss and flicks his tongue on Jisung's lower lip. Jisung's lips part in a surprised gasp, which was soon followed by a sound halfway between a moan and whine that he never even knew he could make, as Minho's tongue swirls around his.

Their kiss went on, both of them reveling in the new feelings and sensations that they're now just discovering together. It was only after a few minutes that they ended their kiss. Minho broke away with a gasp first as his lungs fought for air.

They laid there for a while, in each other's arms, looking into each other's eyes, not making any sound. Minho traces circles on Jisung's back.

After a while, Jisung smiles at him, his lips forming a heart, pushing up his cheeks and transforming his eyes into crescents behind the round glasses that Minho has grown to love, just like other aspects of Jisung that have found a place in Minho's heart.

"Just to be clear, I'm in love with you too, hyung." Jisung tells him sheepishly, voice filled with fondness and longing. And wow he never knew just how much he wanted to hear those words until now. He feels like a parched man robbed of water, and Jisung just gave him his first sip of drink after waiting for so many years.

Minho couldn't believe this was really happening. Maybe he's just dreaming? What a cruel dream this would be when he wakes up. His disbelief must have been apparent on his face because the younger chuckles at him before kissing him lightly on the tip of his nose. "I didn't do that earlier."

"Yeah, you didn't."

"I promise to do it every single day from now on. Even if you don't want me to. Even when you're already tired of it."

Minho thinks he'll never really get tired of it. He'll never grow tired of Jisung and everything he's willing to give.

The love that grew between them isn't the kind of love that burns hot like fire and sweeps you off your feet with passion.

It's the kind that of love that silently creeps up on you and makes itself known when you least expect it. It's steady and extraordinarily unremarkable, filled with trivial conversations and the humdrum of everyday life, dappled with nostalgic memories of growing up together and painted with the anticipation of forever with each other.

It's the kind of love that's just constantly there, like the air they breathe. It buoys them up even without the need for rekindling and reassurances. It's just there, as much a constant to their lives as their presence is to the other.

"I love you." Minho breathes out as he pulls Jisung's body into an even tighter embrace.

"I love you too, hyung."

"...I'm hungry."

"Good. I'll cook for you this time." Jisung tells him with a goofy smile.

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We Can Be Alone Together - konstay0629 - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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Minho and Jisung were poles apart. Jisung is the cool kid - outgoing, confident, sporty, friendly, chatty, funny and liked by everyone and anyone. Minho is the complete opposite - weird humor, soulless voice, introverted, poker face, cynical, and intimidating. The only thing similar about them is that they both wear round glasses.

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Summary

"Who said we were friends?" Minho asked, flicking some water in his face. "Ever thought that maybe we're just strictly coworkers, Buttercup?"

"Nah, I don't think so," Jisung said, cocky. "You like me too much."

He expected a witty response, but Minho was pretty good at surprising him. He looked up at him, gaze soft.

"Maybe I do."

✩ ✩ ✩

Or; the one where Jisung learns the value of a good Halloween costume, the thrill of first love, and the best way to sneak out of his dorm.

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tracing the treelines - thisismk - Stray Kids (Band) [Archive of Our Own]

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While we've done our best to make the core functionality of this site accessible without javascript, it will work better with it enabled. Please consider turning it on! Tags Summary "Who said we were friends?" Minho asked, flicking some water in his face. "Ever thought that maybe we're just strictly coworkers, Buttercup?"