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Are you a passive person? How do you stand up for yourself?

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Are you a passive person? How do you stand up for yourself?

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"No I am not a passive person and I stand up for myself by calmly defending myself"
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"No, I am not a passive person. I agree with Aiden, but it kind of depends on the situation"
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"Yes I would consider myself a passive person and when confronted about something I state facts and stand my ground"
3

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Anna: "No I am not a passive person and I stand up for myself by using my words"
Caitlyn: "Yes I am and when someone bothers me I tell them to leave me alone"
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"Yes I am and if i am pushed to my limits I will yell and argue back but otherwise I kind of just brush it off"
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"I am more neutral than passive and when I stand up for myself I speak loudly with confidence and undermine the opposition"
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"I'm agressive and I clap back"
7

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"Yeah I am pretty introverted, I'm really awkward so if someone says something that personally offends me, chances are I won't speak up. I don't really stand up for myself, I'd rather apologize."
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According to Dictionary.com, Passive is "Accepting or submitting without resistance or objection."

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According to Bustle.com, there are 7 sings that you are being too passive in a relationship.
1: You are not actively building your relationship If no one in the relationships help build the relationship, then you are settling, and if you settle in a particular way, your relationship will become a burden.
2: Your relationship is moving faster than you want it to, but you aren't doing anything about it.
3: You are always going with what your partner wants to do such as always going to where they want to eat or seeing the movie they want to see.
4: You absorb their views and opinions on everything
5: You don;t feel like your normal self. You feel as if you are not your own person.
6: You resent your relationship because you can't speak up in it.
7: Lastly you have given up on things that you care about.

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Passive people tend to just go with the flow. This can be troublesome sometimes. Eventually, being passive means that you are not your own self. You do not do things for yourself and it can really damage your own self image.

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There are many other ways you can be a passive person that aren't in just relationships.  

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There are many other ways you can be a passive person that aren't in just relationships.  

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You may say things such as "Would you mind if I....."or " Do you mind if I...." before you speak. People who are passive do this because they are fearful that they may make someone mad with what they are about to say. They don't speak with confidence and they do not truly believe in what they are talking about. They may actually just be repeating someone else's opinion.

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Passive people tend to believe other people's needs are more important than their own. This is due to the lack of self-belief. This is a common behavior of a passive person. It doesn't allow any room to trust in their own thoughts, opinions, and actions. It leads to an unhealthy dependence on others. You must make the right decisions for yourself and when you are dependent on others and what their needs are, you will never be able to think for yourself.

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The worst critic is your own mind. For passive people, they often talk down about themselves and focus on the things they got wrong. They may say things as " I should've been able to get that right," or " I can't believe I messed that up." Just because you say that every once in a while does not mean you are a passive person. Passive people say this often even over small things. This is again very damaging to their own self image. It is especially damaging because passive people tend to start from a lower point with high standards. Doing so, it puts the person in an impossible position, and setting up for disappointment.

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“10 Things Only Passive People Say.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201511/10-things-only-passive-people-say.

“9 Signs of Passive Behaviour. Are You Being Too Selfless?” Coaching Positive Performance, 10 Mar. 2018, www.coachingpositiveperformance.com/9-signs-passive-behaviour/.

Emery, Lea Rose. “7 Signs That You're Too Passive In Your Relationship.” Bustle, Bustle, 25 Apr. 2018, www.bustle.com/p/7-signs-that-youre-too-passive-in-your-relationship-66094.

GIPHY. “Search All the GIFs & Make Your Own Animated GIF.” GIPHY, GIPHY, giphy.com/.

Griffin, Trudi, and LPC. “How to Go from Passive to Assertive.” WikiHow, WikiHow, 12 Sept. 2016, www.wikihow.com/Go-from-Passive-to-Assertive.

Pictures 1-6 are student owned

Picture 7 belongs to Carter Gross

Picture 8 belongs to Vinauv Uday

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These are just a few ways a passive person works. Being passive means so much more than just obliging to someone else. It hurts a lot more than one would think. It is emotionally and mentally damaging and can cause many long term issues. Self- Image is the main concept of being passive. As a passive person, you may not take yourself seriously and you do not actually think for yourself.

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According to Wikihow.com there are 3 parts to becoming assertive  

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According to Wikihow.com there are 3 parts to becoming assertive  

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Step 1:transitioning away from passivity 

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Step 1:transitioning away from passivity 

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The first step of part 1 is to respect and vocalize your own opinion. It is important to value your own opinion. The best way to do this is to remind yourself of your specific needs and desires by actively communicating them respectfully to those around you.

The next step is to increase assertiveness in one particular domain. This means to take control of at least one aspect in your life. It is important to not take charge in those who are younger than you or in a less experienced position. It is also important to be consistent

The third step is to show confidence by working on your non-verbal behavior such as maintaining eye-contact, sitting up straight, smiling, frowning, and relaxed body language.

The fourth step is to prepare for opposition. Not everyone is going to agree with you or do what you ask. This may deflate your confidence but it is important to remember it happens to everyone and it shouldn't be your reason to give up

The last step is to prepare for the benefits of assertiveness. Think about how much better your life will be when you can express yourself and your opinions better.

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Part 2: Communicating clearly, honestly, and assertively

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Part 2: Communicating clearly, honestly, and assertively

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The first step is to practice saying "no". It is important to realize you have the right to say no if you do not want to do something. It may be hard to turn people down, but it gets easier with practice. You are only one person and if you agree to too many things you may not be able to keep up with them.

Practice your tone. The key to being assertive is to make sure the person knows you are being serious. The most telling way is your tone of voice. If you do not speak with confidence people may not take you seriously and may continue with what they are doing.

The next step is to listen actively and ask for clarification. If you have questions, you should ask them. The most important part of listening is to know where the other person is coming from, and if you don't know where they are coming from, you may not be able to fully understand.

Validate the person's perspective. You do not have to agree with the person, but you should still acknowledge that they also have feelings and are human just like you.

After hearing someone else's perspective, follow with a direct statement of your own opinion.This is especially important when there are multiple perspectives or when you are making an important decision.

In a healthy relationship, it is important to propose an idea that will actively solve an issue or conflict.

Make sure your response to making a decision is empathetic, direct, and an active response. Make sure they know you understand the situatuation

Always deal with minor conflicts with direct statements. Make it clear you are upset with things that may seem little, but are important to you.

Use "I" statements. Always talk for yourself and not repeating what other people tell you and make you want to think. It is important to only say what you truly believe.

Lastly, avoid inappropriate language. Being assertive does not mean to be aggressive, Avoid putting the blame on the other person by using statements that start with "You" and opt for "I disagree with" and make it clear why you are upset.

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Step 3: Avoid aggressive or passive aggressive behavior

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Step 3: Avoid aggressive or passive aggressive behavior

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The first thing is to allow yourself to feel angry. Passive people tend to rationalize their anger by thinking they are overreacting, but you are allowed to feel mad or upset. Anger is a normal and natural response. Know what you are like when you are angry and how you can calm yourself down. Most importantly do NOT try to hide your anger.

Make sure you express your anger with clear and honest communication. It is important to not use passive-aggressive behavior because it can be very detrimental to your relationship. Own your anger and let yourself admit you are angry. It is important to express yourself calmly and respectively.

Don't allow other people to disregard you own wants and needs. If you always "go with the flow" in order to avoid conflict, people may start to disregard your opinions when you start to disregard your actual opinions. Avoid this by being truthful about what you actually want.

Only say yes when you actually mean it. This goes back to trying to avoid conflict, but it may just create more stress and problems for you.

Allow yourself to change your mind. Understand that your opinions and views on things can frequently change.

Lastly get help to become more assertive. Get help from a professional, or ask a friend to help you practice different situations. Be patient with yourself because it can be hard to voice your opinions, but it will all be worth it in the end.