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[Provide your introduction in prose]

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While we are growing up, there are certain experiences that impact our future selves, be it positive or negative. Personally, these experiences can help us mature to a better self, such as happy and proud moments or sad and miserable ones. By reflecting on these memories and experiences, we can potentially change for the better.

Comments: Good beginning which links how growing up shapes your future self. [Mrs Heng]

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The years of youth are memorial ones which has taught us many aspects of life we need in the adult world. It encompasses many first time experiences like your first steps, your first word or your first oblivious sip of yucky wine. Likewise, may these memorable lessons ring up a positive or negative tone, it was what has shaped you to who you are today.

During my growing up years i have experienced many ups and downs. And it is through these experinces that made me stronger and more mature. Though i may not be in tuned with my generation, these experiences have made me grow a bigger understanding of the world, have a larger point of view.

Mrs Heng: I like the examples that you provide to make a point. I also like the transition from a general statement (in paragraph 1) to personal reflection (in paragraph 2). However, they should be combined as one introductory paragraph. The second paragraph - which is a body paragraph - should consist of an experience, followed by the way in which it has shaped your value.

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As I grow up from a baby to a toddler, toddler to a preteen and preteen to a teenager, there are many lessons I have learnt. Whether it’s about family, academics or personal character there are some that still stay with me today.

Mrs Heng: Short and sweet really. I would assume that the following body paragraphs are about how family, academic studies and an experience reflecting your personal character have shaped your values today.

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Throughout adolescence, teens are often met with a slew of new responsibilities and encounter a rather overwhelming multitude of changes to both their lifestyle and inherent character. Therefore, with the advent of such unfamiliar experiences throughout the passages of life, we start to become exposed to the latent habituations that define our morality and further reinforce our virtues as an individual.

Mrs Heng: It is a good start, but you need a transition from a general statement to a personal reflection or experience in the introductory paragraph of a topic which is about you.

By the way, why is it similar to Zen's?

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Throughout our youth, we teens are often met with a myriad of new and unfamiliar experiences and encounter a rather overwhelming multitude of changes to both our lives and inherent character. With the advent of such unforseen changes throughout the passages of life, we start to become exposed to the latent habituations that define our moral code and further reinstare our virtues as maturing individuals.

Mrs Heng: It is a good start, but you need a transition from a general statement to a personal reflection or experience in the introductory paragraph of a topic which is about you.

By the way, why is it similar to Ki En's?

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During my growing-up years, lots of things had happened to me. However some things stood out more than others, like the time i saved a cat from a tree or the time i played with my friends at the void deck. These experiences have helped me to shape values such as compassion, courage and helps me understand others.

Mrs Heng: Usually we will need to write 3 experiences - as there are three body paragraphs - in a reflective piece. You may need to add in one more personal experience in the thesis statement which you have already made in this paragraph.

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Proponents of the view that young people have never had it so good until today point to the abundant education opportunities made available to youths today. It is undoubtedly true that compared to past generations, youth enjoy far greater access to learning in today’s day and age.I for one, have learnt the value of being grateful, that is, of these privileges through the experiences below.

Mrs Heng: You seem to talk about education, instead of growing up years, which is more than the field of education (The idea was confirmed by the next statement which says 'compared to past generations, .... enjoy far greater access to learning'). I think you need to change the whole introductory paragraph. It does not seem suitable for this topic.

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There are many significant experiences in my growing up years. These have educated me meaningfully and have shaped my value of resilience.

Mrs Heng: I feel that the hook is somewhat missing. It is very much like answering the question, without much thought about the idea of 'growing up years'. You need to add the hook.

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One of these fond memories i have is doing
sex for the first time. The primary school education system starts the science syllabus from year 3. It was a period of transition for me as prior to this i had no interacts with science and the lessons were outdoor education and additional physical education lessons.This sparked an interest in me for science and my passion for logical and methodological approach for reasoning and decision making it shaped my values of not believing in the unknown and the ideals built onto the fraudulent foundation of lies. These experiences are fundamental to me and the values that i hold close.

Mrs Heng: I am still not sure how learning of science has shaped your value. Value is not what you have learnt, but principles that govern your behaviour or thinking. I'm afraid that latter isn't clear in this paragraph

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Growing up years are experiences that we go through that will prepare us for the future. It is more than our childhood life when we are young but more of the challenges that we faced that will shape us and our values.

Mrs Heng: I like the first statement that tells me what growing up years mean, but I am rather baffled by the idea of the second statement. So, what are you getting at? Write the idea in simple sentences.
In addition to that, what about you? Usually we end the introductory paragraph with personal statements, when the essay question is about us. Add that in too.

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Growing up- an inevitable part of life. For most, childhood is where values are developed and instilled. Easily influenced by their surroundings, children are extremely volatile. I am no different, having my personality shaped in my primary school years by my peers, teachers, parents, and more importantly, the internet. Looking back, I can almost see where it all went wrong.

Mrs Heng: Wow! The last statement - where it all went wrong - is so dramatic! It seems to suggest that the body paragraphs are about how some eventful, and unfortunate, experiences that involve your peers, teachers, parents, and the internet have shaped your values. If it is so, the introductory paragraph is OK. If it is not, you need to change the last statement.

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During my growing up years, i have been through many experiences that has shaped me to who i am today. However some of these events stood out from the other, having more importance in my life. These include the first time i went to my badminton competition mentally unprepared, helping a disabled stranger and even understanding a classmate that has been bullied. These experiences have helped me shape values such as resilience, compassion and understanding how others feel.

Mrs Heng: Good that the three experiences are spelled out clearly in the first paragraph as your thesis statement. However, I suggest that you arrange the three is a sequence that flows well, say from class, to school, to community.

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Having noteworthy experiences being introduced into your memory is unavoidable in the maturation of a human. Be that it may be haunting or memorable, it would still make a prominent impact on one’s view of the world. I am no exception from this matter. In fact, being a foreign student, I encounter novel stunning experiences on a daily basis, and each of them is pertinent to the way I think and act.

Mrs Heng: Growing up years is not simply teenage years. It encompasses the time you were a child too. You need to add that, or the focus of your essay would not have addressed the question adequately.

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The experience of growing up varies for all of us. I personally find it a really good experience. It will throw you an obstacle, which will make you emerge even stronger after that. One such example is failing a test. It is when you look at the mistakes you made and ensure that you don't make the same mistakes ever again.

Mrs Heng: If we want to make a thesis statement in the introductory paragraph, we need to have three points. Failing a test is only one of the points. You can take a look at Jonas' introductory paragraph on how he writes three experiences in a sentence.

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Describe some significant experiences during your growing-up years. How have these experiences shaped your values?

I remembered that when I was around age 4, I wanted to pick up cycling as a hobby as I admired my friends who knew how to cycle on a 2 wheeled bicycle. At first, I felt a surge of motivation and energy to start this new hobby, I thought it was going to be easy and smooth-going. However, I was wrong. I would always fall within a few seconds whenever I tried to lift my legs up and step on the peddle. I tried again and again but my efforts were futile. These continuous mistakes gradually eroded my confidence, soon I was overwhelmed by pessimism. Fortunately, I was lucky to have supportive parents who encouraged me to persevere and continue to try. After a few months of practice and hard work, I finally learnt how to ride on a bicycle! Learning how to ride a bicycle taught me how to persevere in life because we will meet new and unfamiliar challenges ahead just like me learning how to balance on a two wheel bicycle. As long as we relentlessly keep trying and believing in ourselves, we will develop a sense of resilience and determination that will empower us to work towards achieving our goal even when the road ahead is tough.  Therefore, learning how to ride on a bicycle  had developed my sense of tenacity, which made me learn how to persevere and not give up easily in life.

Mrs Heng: It's rather clear how the experience has shaped your value.

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Describe some significant experiences during your growing-up years. How have these experiences shaped your values? 

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Describe some significant experiences during your growing-up years. How have these experiences shaped your values? 

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My definition of growing-up is to grow toward or arrive at full physical or mental maturity. To progress from childhood towards adulthood. To develop maturity in an individual, one has to go through or experience a lot during their growing-up years. I personally experienced many limitations and hurdles during my growing-up years, and these hurdles have taught me the  value of perseverance and the importance of having a great tenacity. One such example could be me participating in a violin competition, I needed endless of hours of practice and the mental determination to win the competition. But at that point in time, I always thought to myself that I could give up now and have a carefree life. And yes, that happened, everything went downhill, my standard started to drop significantly. And i eventually lost the competition. So you see, from then on i told myself that without perseverance and mental determination, I will only be able to achieve the least or nothing.

Mrs Heng: We do not write about an experience, i.e. the violin competition, at length in the introductory paragraph. You need to replace the statements from 'One such examples could be me......achieve the least or nothing' to something short, and of course, something about you. You may refer to Perle's second paragraph, or Alena's second part of the introductory paragraph.