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You have a couple run on sentences. But other than that I think it was good.

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That in Moynaq a river dried up and that the people could not get enough water.

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That 90% of the water was stopped.

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Because of the shrinkage of water in the Aral Sea the air pollution has gotten worse near it. Places with more people in an area are more likely to use all the water in the region because they all need water and they need to use more water for crops so the people can eat. A way we can start to fix water stress is to have all farmers start to move away from water thirsty crops. (Crops that need lots of water to grow/live)

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Before the lake getting dried up it produced water for nearby towns and fitted the needs of all the people. But since the drought the water in the lake is far too salty to drink, so people have had to try to resort to other sources of water such as nearby rivers and groundwater, but they get sick sometimes from that because it is polluted.

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Because of the shrinking and the lose of the water in the Aral Sea, lots of people lost their jobs because all the fish died and there was no where to fish. So many people relied on the Aral Sea to make money, about 95 million pounds of fish were harvested from the lake each year. The industry supported about 35,00 workers! Now because of the drouet lots of those people/if not all lost their jobs.

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The people needed lots of clean water to use to grow their cotton farms to make lots of money but they didn't get the water needed, until the government there made a dam for them, 90% of the water was getting stopped and the other 10% of the water was going to the sea, but it wasn't enough to keep the sea good and healthy so it started to shrink and the shrinking of the Aral Sea changed the environment dramatically, it made the summers hotter and the winters cooler. It also made it very hard for farmers to find a good place to farm. And people tried moving to rice farms but they still required lots of water so it didn't work to well.

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The Aral Sea was first called a sea because of its size, not because it was salty because it was a big lake that contained fresh water. It first starts with rain that runs off into streams and runs off the grass and picks up salt from the soil because soil also contains salt, then that water runs into the Aral Sea. But when the water evaporates it leaves the salt behind making the Aral Sea more and more salty. And farmers still use it for its water from their farms and that salt water is fine for a little bit but then the water evaporates and leaves behind the salt and ruins the farmers crops.

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In the introduction it introduces some of the stuff that you'll read in the Chapter. Back in 1960, Moynaq was a town where people would go to fish in the Soviet Union. It was surrounded by the Aral sea before it dried up. Now the water's edge is nearly 90 miles from Moynaq. And because of the river drying up it has caused some environmental effects, such as farming, fishing, and quality of life in the region.