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In this section, I will be reflecting on the films I have watched and how they inspired me in the creation of my own piece. I will be updating this section in the process of writing my Production essay.

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'Queerama' was a beautiful movie I watched as part of my research for the final project. My favourite thing about it must have been how the film archive was powerfully combined with music pieces to convey very strong messages. This immediately inspired me to use similar techniques in order to depict my own personal story in film, and project it onto wider social contexts and issues.
I absolutely loved how the film never directly 'screams' about the issues it tackles, rather than delivering it to the viewer in a very graphic, artistic way. The film moves you, and certainly makes you reflect on what is shown and told. What was astonishing to me at the first sight was that it did not represent a traditional documentary, or an action film that we would see in a local cinema, but nevertheless was gripping and exciting to watch. The archive clips were combined and put together in a way that makes them make sense both altogether and individually in line with the main message. In my own work, I have always been afraid of constructing a video of clips that would seem random and unconnected as an end product, and thus failing at depicting young love, family, responsibility, judgement and unsettlement that sometimes comes with it. Thus, the film majorly motivated me to carefully choose the clips I would use in the project, and how I would end up using them. I realised how much attention I needed to pay to the semiotic and aesthetic balancing, juxtaposition, comparison, and the overall flow of clips in the project.
It was astonishing to me how well the film portrayed homosexuality and homosexual experiences in Great Britain of the past from different positions and angles. I noticed how this was further improved with interviews and clips of filmed characters vocalising their concerns and experiences and homosexuals. As much as I wanted to project this onto my own work, I was afraid that the time constraints and limitations (the video was supposed to be 3 to 5 minutes long) I could not pull that off in this particular project, but I definitely noted this for the future!
The incorporation of interviews and full clips of people speaking with music videos composed of gorgeous clips inspired me to include in my project two extracts with the original sound. One of them was the scene of two penguins caring for their newborn baby, the egg to soon be hatched. It perfectly depicts how equally responsibility is distributed within animal families, and thus provides a little context for the ideas I wanted to convey. This was further developed with incorporation of other 'animal examples' throughout the music video itself. In the middle, I divided the film into two parts with a clip of Maddy Perez from 'Euphoria' saying 'Don't worry. This is just the beginning'. I felt like it could be a nice link to the 'personal experience' sequence I decided to include to highlight the relevance of the topic personally for me. I myself grew up in a very young family, and I got to experience the (temporary) absence of a father figure due to his young spirit of mind and misunderstanding of responsibility. 'Queerama' showed me how this could be done successfully, and these little sequences thus improved my project and made it much more clear in the eyes of a viewer in a significant way!

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BFI & BBC 
A IE IE Production
Directed by Daisy Asquith
Produced by Catryn Ramasut
Edited by Kenny McCracken, Alan Mackay & Daisy Asquith
Assistant Director   Mike Nicholls
Editorial Consultant   Campbell X
Historical Consultant   Lucy Robinson
BFI Archive   Simon McCallum

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Softcore Music Video (Kseniia Sheveleva)

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In week 4, we came into class to get some feedback regarding the rough cuts we filmed and edited at home. However, as I worked on the project, progressing gradually throughout a whole week, I ended up with a finished piece! It turned out that I already had a music video to submit for assessment. Moreover, I was genuinely happy with the outcomes as well, as I knew I worked really hard for the end result and the work definitely paid off. I would really like to pursue a career in filmmaking in the future, as the process of editing was genuinely enjoyable, if not addictive (in a very good way!). Hopefully, in my Production essay, I could reflect more on what could have been done better, which clips I could have edited more professionally and how time constraints and strikes influenced the process of creation as a whole.

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I decided to use some videos I filmed in the London SeaLife aquarium for the aesthetics, backgrounds and 'filler clips' of the film. These are mostly clips of moving jellyfish and corals, which I feel like fit in perfectly with the overall ambience of the chosen music.

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Here is another extract from the same comedy show, except I am not playing the main role in this one.

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Тюменский Ералаш "Поколение.ру" - 2 сезон - часть 3

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Here is me acting in a youth comedy TV show at the age of 7! My Mom always signed me up for such activities in my early childhood in the hopes that I could one day become a renowned actress. I believe that these clips could be a nice addition to the personal sequence within the project.

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Тюменский Ералаш "Поколение.ру" - 2 сезон - часть 4 (конец 2-ого сезона)

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Here are some more scenes from the lives of animal families. I could use these clips as a comparison of how responsibility within animal families is sometimes distributed and shared much better than in human households.

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Best Animal Moms Ever | Motherly Animals Compilation | The Dodo Best Of

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Wedding photo of my parents when they were both 20. My Mom was already pregnant with me in this image.

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One of the parts of my project will be dedicated to my own life and experience as a first child in a young family. I asked my parents to find some old videos of us spending time together and send them to me. The images and videos are received turned out to be quite sweet and made me dive into nostalgia about the 'good old days'!

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This film portrays the other side of the story, as it depicts a bit of the Father's perspective. Clips of dressed up kids not really aware of the occasion, sad and unsettled by their surroundings, were of special interest to me.

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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The movie is a great piece about female education, responsibilities of young girls, hospitals and caretakers. I was especially attracted by the scenes with children: they depict mother-child relationships in the sweetest ways. Some of clips are just aesthetically pleasing!

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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This bundle of video extracts could serve the idea of a relationship devoid of commitment (especially from a male). Some scenes are full of emotion and drama, which is exactly what I need for reinforcement of some bits in my project. TW: abuse

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This extract creatively portrays complicated relationships between a father and a son

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Scenes of a young boy dancing with his father (quite real and totally not made out of plastic!)

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The plastic figure of the father is of most interest to me in this clip

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A fantastic music video on a similar subject to mine - the absence of a father figure in a family.

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The main actress sings: 'I'm breaking down', which could be used in line with the lyrics of my song of choice

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An extract from a comedy musical performed by Stephanie Block. The song is all about struggles of a woman in a household.

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The spectacular sight of an Emperor Penguin laying her egg | Penguins: Spy in the Huddle - BBC

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A PERFECT clip for the introduction: the presenter gives a talk about father's responsibilities in penguin families.

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Mama bear teaching cubs to fish

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Momma panda cleaning her baby panda

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Baby panda!

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Footage of momma dolphin protecting her baby dolphin

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A documentary by BBC Earth about how animals treat their newborn babies driven by natural instincts.

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Most Inspiring Animal Family Moments | Top 5 | BBC Earth

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A low-budget free-to-use movie about celebrity love and divorce. Perfect for a finishing touch to the project.

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The frames within these timecode are perfect portrayals of struggles mothers go through in the process of a divorce

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This is another extract from the movie mentioned before. This shows the multitasking lone mothers have to go through every day

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Sissy's first time riding a truck

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This is a film produced in 1980 on the subject of teenage pregnancy. The free extracts on the film I found on Youtube show how the main character Sissy gets to know the pleasures of teenage life in the past. Those are the activities she never got a chance to encounter, as she was preoccupied with raising children and looking after the household from a very young age.

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Sissy Spacek's wild jeep ride with Tommy Lee Jones -- feature commentary, Coal Miner's Daughter

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Everyman- Where Have All The Flowers Gone

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Everyman- Where Have All The Flowers Gone

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Some extracts from this piece portray family and childhood - perfect for the theme of my own project!

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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'Don't worry. This is just the beginning'

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Fight scenes between two former best friends

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'I feel like I would look so sexy pregnant... I would not wear any of those nasty maternity clothes, I would just be me, but pregnant!'

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Clips of Maddy babysitting her little brother greatly portray the relationship between children and teenagers.

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Clips from the famous series about youth 'Euphoria' could greatly contribute to the overall ambience of the music video. Moreover, there are multiple extracts portraying young relationships, tackling commitment issues, adultery and attempts to 'live life' while living up to new responsibilities.

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Maddy Perez - Best Moments (Euphoria) #2

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Again, great clips for portrayals of youth in the past. However, this also includes a clip about a punk rock young family raising a child. I feel like extracts from that exact clip might be the most useful for the overall narrative

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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Extracts from this piece could add to the atmosphere of rebellious youth by virtue of vivid imagery of subcultures' leisure activities.

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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These frames could be useful for the portrayal of young, 'dreamy' love

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These frames, for example, correlates really well with a similar dancing extract from the personal archive.

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An extract from this movie could serve as a great source for clips of dancing children. I would pay most attention to the clip in these timeframes: 7:18-8:15; 26:19-26:46

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Dropbox is a free service that lets you bring your photos, docs, and videos anywhere and share them easily. Never email yourself a file again!

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Having gone through the video archive provided to us in class, I chose a variety of clips to use in my own music video.

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The song concludes with the father finally giving up. This is the major problem in young families: early start often means early finish, early divorce.

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The father is reluctant to his new responsibility but he is still willing to fulfil his roles for his partner's sake. He wants to let go of the commitment rather than of love.

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The father still experiences the same connection with his significant other, he is chasing the love and the attraction, he needs her but the new form of their relationship is overwhelming and 'draining' to him

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The Neighbourhood - Softcore (Official Audio)

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The parent questions his early decisions and actions. He is paralysed by his new way of life and grand amounts of responsibility and commitment that it implies

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The parent is nostalgic for his 'gone youth', regretting letting it slip away so fast. Watching his young fun years pass by so fast is hurtful and unsettling. He clearly wants to give everything up to go back

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The parent is trying to provide for the family and be a good father but he is struggling. It harms his mental health and makes him distanced from the household

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The parent in a young family cannot fully devote it for his spouse and child. He is trying to live his life, as a youngster would, and therefore is absent from his family

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The song best portrays fatherhood in a young family. A man, who still has his whole life to live, does not wish to dedicate it to child and family just yet, at a very young age. He is in love with the child's mother, he feels the responsibility, but cannot share the commitment. It's tearing him apart, he wants to set himself free but cannot, he is paralysed.

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You've been my muse for a long time
You get me through every dark night
I'm always gone, out on the go
I'm on the run and you're home alone
I'm too consumed with my own life

Are we too young for this?
Feels like I can't move

Sharing my heart
It's tearing me apart
But I know I'd miss you, baby, if I left right now
Doing what I can, tryna be a man
And every time I kiss you, baby
I can hear the sound of breaking down

I've been confused as of late (yeah)
Watching my youth slip away (yeah)
You're like the sun, you wake me up
But you drain me out if I get too much
I might need you or I'll break

Are we too young for this?
Feels like I can't move

Sharing my heart
It's tearing me apart
But I know I'd miss you, baby, if I left right now
Doing what I can, tryna be a man
And every time I kiss you, baby
I can hear the sound of breaking down

Breaking down, breaking down, breaking down
Breaking down, breaking down, breaking down
I don't want to play this part
But I do, all for you
I don't want to make this hard
But I will 'cause I'm still

Sharing my heart
It's tearing me apart
But I know I'd miss you, baby, if I left right now (Yeah, I know I would, I know I would)
Doing what I can, tryna be a man (be your man)
And every time I kiss you, baby
I can hear the sound of breaking down

Sharing my bed, uh
Sharing my bread, yeah
Sharing my bed
Sharing my head
(I'm breaking down)
Sharing my heart
Sharing my, sharing and I'm breaking down
Sharing, I'm done
Sharing my life

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I decided to film my music video to the song named 'Softcore' by The Neighbourhood. The line 'Are we too young for this?' forms the crucial connection between the song and the chosen topic.

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Having grown up in a very young family, raised by parents in their early twenties, I had quite different experiences from people brought up in mature families.
I arrived in London in September 2021, and as I got to know new people, I realised how different our childhood experiences were. As it turns out, traditionally, European families are conceived at a much later age compared to when it usually happens in my motherland. I was deeply impressed with the differences that took place and always came unnoticed for me. This is the topic that I would like to focus on in my video project.