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But he decided to give it all up, which meant saying goodbye to a seven-figure income between salary and bonuses, an impressive title, meetings with some of the biggest investors around the world and a sizable staff: At one point, he had two full-time assistants -- one in New York and one in London.

Taking a 100% pay cut (you heard that right!), he joined a startup of two, Wavelength Capital Management, where he reports to a boss who is 20-plus years younger than he is.

"At the end of the day, I'm learning from this kid. More than anything else, I'm learning from him," Landis said of the startup's founder and chief investment officer, Andrew Dassori.

When I heard Mark's story, I thought about how often we talk about women reinventing themselves later in life, how they're taking risks and making big personal and professional changes. You'll find stories about "Women 2.0" in just about every magazine and across the Internet, but what about men? Are they more reluctant to make life-altering changes, especially as they get older?

'The majority of people think I'm crazy'

There wasn't one thing that pushed Landis to take the leap. It was a mix of the personal and professional: his wife's breast cancer diagnosis in 2011; countless missed evenings and weekends with his family; concerns about his professional legacy; wanting his sons, now a college junior and a senior in high school, to understand what exactly he does for a living; and a growing disgust with the "intoxication that greed created" on Wall Street.

"Life is short, and you got to start to be thinking what is life, what are you supposed to get out of life and what are you supposed to do with that life," he told me during a lengthy interview at the modest offices of Wavelength Capital. The company prides itself on trying to open up sophisticated investments to all investors.

No doubt, Landis is lucky to have enough savings to make such a career change. There are plenty of men who can't afford to switch jobs or who can't find well-paying jobs for that matter. Still, his move took a great deal of courage.

Gone is the business card that identifies him as the "chief of global fixed income sales and research" title, the teams of people who could create presentations for him at a moment's notice, the lunches in the executive dining room, the office roughly the same size as his current company's entire workspace.

Now, he's shopping on Craigslist for office furniture, searching on YouTube for how to put bullet points in a presentation slide and filling the water cooler.

"He's doing a lot of these things that I'm sure he had a staff of people usually doing for him," said Dassori, who met Landis 10 years ago during an internship and has been in regular contact with him ever since.

Asked what his friends think, Landis replied, "The majority of people think I'm crazy."

He believes for some men, ego prevents them from making changes, especially later in life. It takes a certain kind of person who is going to be OK not having the business card, who doesn't need to be the "global head of global heads," he said.

For some men, there's also the "keeping up with the Joneses" pressure. Many older men may feel they must continue to be the one providing the lion's share of income for the family, Landis said.

"You're supposed to be 'the breadwinner' ... Mom does this, Dad does this, and you're going to work until you retire," he said.

That belief -- on the part of older men -- that providing for the family is the most important goal is borne out in the research. In "The Shriver Report" on the 21st century man, a survey released in April of more than 800 American men 18 and older, 51% of those ages 50 to 64 said providing for their spouse and family was most important to them as a man -- more important than being present for their family.

Interestingly, younger men feel differently. Among those 18 to 34, some 59% said being present is a greater priority than providing for the family.

"I think there is a cultural shift towards change and younger men are more open to change than older men," said Patrick Wanis, a human behavior and relationship expert and celebrity life coach.

"Younger men have a very different perspective of their roles ... and younger men are not afraid of the woman being in power or having a female president or having a female boss."

The next generation of men is growing up at a time of "greater instability and uncertainty" in the economy and in society in general, Wanis said, which means they are more familiar with change and likely won't be as reluctant to embrace it later in their careers as their fathers perhaps were.

"Young men are willing to adapt and change because they recognize they have to," he added.

The biological connections to change

Older men may also be more hesitant to embrace change because they are having a harder time moving into their middle of life and beyond.

Without naming names, I know of more than a few men who recently turned 50 and who are having a tough time coming to terms with their age, whereas I'm planning a full-on dance party when I turn the big 5-0 next year.

For her 1998 book "Understanding Men's Passages: Discovering the New Map of Men's Lives," Gail Sheehy spent eight years exploring the impact of age on men. We often think of age as being kinder to men than women, she wrote, but she found that was not true at all.

"Many men 40 and over are having a harder time today making a satisfying passage into the second half of their lives than are most women," she wrote. "Why? Women feel pangs over losing their youth. Men feel dread."

She says many men may not equate change with growth, but with loss, giving up and failing. In conversations with hundreds of men, she wrote that she heard concerns about aging, declining physical strength and athletic prowess, fears about job loss and anxiety about "the whole question of potency in all areas of their lives."

Wanis theorizes that men and women have different comfort levels with change and aging in part because of biology. Women are accustomed to changing because their bodies are constantly changing, from the start of menstruation during adolescence and on through menopause in their 40s and 50s, he said.

"A female starts facing change from a very, very young age, men have a lot less change in their body," said Wanis. "That therefore changes the way women perceive life because they see things in cycles, they see things as changing, they expect change and then they embrace change."

Men's discomfort with change may also be evidenced by their failure to seek help. Research shows that men are less likely than women to get counseling when faced with problems such as stress, depression and substance abuse.

'Don't be afraid'

When I asked how it felt to make this big change in his life, Landis said it felt great.

"I'm really learning again," he said. "I can talk to my kids about stuff that I've never been able to talk to my kids about."

Before he made the move, the most his kids knew about his career is that he worked at a big bank. Now they're curious about the fund, and the technology Landis and Dassori are using to systematize investing.

There have certainly been adjustments. His kids and his wife have to think twice about their lifestyle since Landis isn't making an income right now with the family living off what they've saved. And there is certainly stress about putting their life savings into this endeavor and making a "financial bet" that it will ultimately be successful, he said.

Dassori, who considers Landis the mentor even though he's the creator of the company, feels the pressure, too. After all, Landis left a very comfortable gig to join him.

"I try not to think about it too much because then ... it becomes a much more stressful proposition," Dassori said.

So there are some anxieties all around, but Landis says people say he looks healthier than ever and seems happier. He feels like he is "using his mind again" and carving out a role where he is challenged intellectually but also doing what he loves such as mentoring and hiring people.

His advice for any of his contemporaries who may be thinking about some kind of change in their lives is not to let fear keep them from doing it.

"Take a look at yourself. Take a look at what you've done, what you've accomplished and don't be afraid," he said.

Ever the investor, he ends our discussion by paraphrasing Warren Buffet. Said Landis, "If you are going to invest in someone, invest in yourself."

Words -- men and women -- of all ages can live by.
Do you think it's sometimes harder for men to make changes in their lives than women? Share your thoughts with Kelly Wallace on Twitter @kellywallacetv or CNN Parents on Facebook.

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is it tougher for men to embrace change? - cnn

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Is it tougher for men to embrace change? - CNN

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But he decided to give it all up, which meant saying goodbye to a seven-figure income between salary and bonuses, an impressive title, meetings with some of the biggest investors around the world and a sizable staff: At one point, he had two full-time assistants -- one in New York and one in London.

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Listen up, guys. It may be time to drop the bravado and consider these sobering statistics:

Coronary artery disease (CAD) is three times higher among men who are clinically depressed.

Male suicides outnumber female suicides in every age group.

Homicide and suicide are among the top three causes for death among males between the ages of 15 and 34.

By the age of 85, women outnumber men in the U.S. 2.2 to 1; this rises to 3 to 1 if they reach their 90s.

These are just a few of the realities examined in Why Men Die First: How to Lengthen Your Lifespan, a new book by Marianne J. Legato, MD, that focuses on the biological, cultural, and personal reasons that men's life span in the U.S. lasts an average of six years less than women's.

Male mortality is shorter in part, Legato says, because males are more fragile and inherently vulnerable than females from birth. And unlike women, who have fought hard to have their specific health needs validated and addressed, men haven't demanded equal treatment.

"It is a need that has never been addressed," Legato says. "Men have been tremendously neglected and it doesn't have to be that way."

Men's medical challenges owe a great deal to cultural conditioning. The rules are set shortly after birth, Legato says: Suck up the pain, don't be a wimp, show no weakness, and "man up." Many men only seek medical counsel when under duress from a spouse or when their condition has deteriorated to a severe state.

"Women are able to logically ask for help," says Legato, who has long promoted the concept of gender-specific medicine. "They're hardwired in the brain and very motivated."

"The cultural reasons for not going to the doctor are killing men," she says.

In her book, Legato examines and champions an end to the lack of awareness among men -- and even the medical community -- regarding the specific health needs of a male that could help prevent male deaths. Men, she says, deserve better and should insist on higher standards.

Continued

"Don't tolerate the current situation where men die six years before women," Legato says. "If we can conquer breast cancer and AIDS to the extent we have, we can certainly save our men."

Legato highlights the following leading factors of death in men in which men can begin to make a significant difference in their health and improve male life expectancy:

1. Speak frankly with a doctor: Leave embarrassment in the waiting room. Women are taught at an early age to be candid and open with their doctors. Symptoms that can be uncomfortable to talk about -- such as erectile dysfunction -- can be tied to more serious ailments such as diabetes and heart disease. Men, despite cultural tradition, should also request breast checks.

"It's a part of the body and should be examined," Legato says.

She encourages men to perform testicular self-exams in the way women are taught to check their breasts for irregularities. Although men may cringe at getting a prostate check, they are far less uncomfortable than experiencing the pain of cancer treatment.

2. Check testosterone levels: Beginning at age 30, testosterone begins to dip by 1% each year, says Legato. Lowered testosterone levels can lead to a decrease in vitality, muscle mass, ability to perform prolonged exercise, memory, concentration, and libido. Not only does this impair quality of life, it can contribute to depression, which can have a significant effect on male health, potentially increasing the risk of coronary disease. There are several treatments available -- including gels, patches, and injections -- that can help restore this vital hormone to proper levels.

Robert Ruxin, MD, an endocrinologist from Ridgefield, Conn., says normal testosterone loss has little correlative effect on vitality or sexuality. But there are instances when dramatic loss -- more likely between the ages between of 60 and 80 -- can impede quality of life.

"When it drops normally, probably not, but very low, yes," Ruxin says. "A level that drops from 800 to 500 has not been shown to have a clinical effect. Maybe from 800 to 400 can be too low."

Continued

Diabetes patients, for example, may have a greater risk of significant testosterone loss. Conversely, pituitary hormones, he says, can balance out the effects of the difference in individuals who are losing testosterone at a typical rate.

"There's a wide variation of normal."

3. Immune systems: The male immune system is not as vigorous as those of females, and men die from seven of the 10 most common infections at a higher rate, Legato says, particularly tuberculosis and sexually transmitted diseases. Sanitary sexual practices are essential, beginning with use of a condom. Men should check for updated vaccinations with their doctor when traveling to foreign countries. A tetanus shot should be administered every 10 years.

" Immunization is not finished after the second year of life," Legato says.

Proper nutrition and supplementation can also be beneficial. Despite the gender-focused attention it receives, osteoporosis also strikes men.

4. Recognize and treat depression: Male depression may be much more common than has been previously estimated. Symptoms aren't always obvious.

"We glibly state that women are twice as often depressed as men throughout the world," she says. "What they do is turn to behaviors that are semi-socially acceptable: drinking alcohol, TV watching, greater sexual exploits."

Legato is convinced the vulnerability of depression can compromise men's health in other ways, leading to increased instance of disease and greater male mortality from such conditions. It's also a common symptom of "andropause," which is marked by a decrease of testosterone in males that is similar, if less dramatic, than the effect of menopause in females. Indeed, males are also susceptible to the notorious hot flashes that have often marked the change of life for women, albeit years later.

Legato says the current medical system often prevents doctors from obtaining a proper understanding of a patient's personality and life structure. Make time to discuss any such issues with a doctor and be open to treatment. "A pill is not always the cure," Legato says. "Structured conversations can be very helpful."

While Ruxin is not convinced that andropause is a genuine male concern, others are in sync with Legato's insights on male depression.

Continued

James Korman, PsyD, ACT, director of the Behavioral Health and Cognitive Therapy Center at Summit Medical Group in New Jersey, agrees that depression in men occurs far more often than reported. He also points to cultural factors as often influencing men's reluctance to get treatment.

"Men tend to express depression differently than women," Korman says. "This can result in sleep disturbances, mood change, and sexual disinterest."

Left untreated, depression can have catastrophic results.

Regarding suicide, Korman says that while women typically make more attempts, "men are much better at completing it."

Men need to realize, Legato says, how destructive depression can be to their health and openly discuss their concerns with a doctor.

"To enjoy the day and be as viable as possible in the present is the best attitude," she says.

5. Keep a close eye on young males: The reckless nature and lifestyle of adolescents make them prime targets for injury or death. Females develop a more evolved sense of judgment and decision making at an earlier age then males. Add to that the cocktail of testosterone and other hormones and, biologically, males possess a potentially lethal internal recipe. Monitoring their activities and setting careful limits is vital. "Boys have been compared to a Porsche without brakes," Legato says. "They take risks, are idealistic, intense, and believe they're invulnerable."

6. Assess your risk for coronary disease: Coronary disease, Legato says, "takes a toll on men in their prime and leaves families bereft." It's imperative to sit down and assess the risks along with any predisposed genetic tendency and discuss these with a doctor. Have any relatives died of heart disease before the age of 60? What are your cholesterol levels? Have you experienced fainting episodes, loss of consciousness, or shortness of breath?

"We downplay this tremendously," Legato says.

Again, men aren't genetically blessed compared to women in this area. The female hormone estrogen provides women with a layer of protection that men don't naturally possess, asserts Legato. Further illustrating this: Men can begin developing signs of coronary artery disease at the age of 35, Legato says, while women don't present a risk of a heart attack similar to men until much later. Men with a family history of heart disease should alert their doctor and take proper precautions beginning in their 30s.

"It doesn't have to be that way," Legato says. "We should be turning a very critical eye on why coronary disease starts in the mid-30s."

Sources

SOURCES:

Marianne J. Legato, MD, FACP.

Robert Ruxin, MD, endocrinologist, Ridgefield, Conn.

James Korman, PsyD, ACT, director, Behavioral Health and Cognitive Therapy Center at Summit Medical Group, Berkeley Heights, N.J.

Legato, M. Why Men Die First: How to Lengthen Your Lifespan.

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Why Men's Lives Are Shorter Than Women's

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Listen up, guys. It may be time to drop the bravado and consider these sobering statistics: Coronary artery disease (CAD) is three times higher among men who are clinically depressed. Male suicides outnumber female suicides in every age group. Homicide and suicide are among the top three causes for death among males between the ages of 15 and 34.

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We have it harder than prior generations

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We have it harder than prior generations

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Fifty years ago, men were the dominant wage earners in America and ruled the workplace.

But, points out CBS News Correspondent Michelle Miller, traditional gender roles are being redefined.

Today, men make up less than 50 percent of the workforce, and 40 percent of women are the primary source of their families' incomes.

"It is true," says New York University Sociology Professor Kathleen Gerson, "that the old breadwinner model of the strong high-earning, supporting the family on his own man is on the decline."

What effect has this sea change had on men's world view?

Sixty-one percent of the 1,500 men who took part in a Cosmopolitan magazine online survey said they believe they have it harder than previous generations.

"Women probably have higher expectations than they have ever had," Gerson observes. "They don't just want someone who's a good worker; they want someone who can share in all the work of the home."

Cosmo was to hold a "Man summit" Thursday to discuss men's changing roles, goals, needs and attitudes on themselves, the working world, money, life -- and women.
Other key findings of the survey:
-- 61 percent of men said that guys today have it harder than men of previous generations; yet 58 percent women believe men have it easier.

-- 79 percent of men and 85 percent of women say that men define success as a measure of financial status.

-- The number one thing men would like to change about women today: They wish women cared less about paycheck and status and were less materialistic.

-- 59 percent of men and 76 percent of women think most men would feel uncomfortable if their partner had a bigger paycheck

-- 67 percent of guys and 73 percent of women say men today are less ambitious than they were a generation ago.

-- 54 percent of men and 62 percent of women agree that women are more ambitious than men.

-- 63 percent of men and 76 percent of women think men have an advantage over women when it comes to getting ahead at work.

-- But the majority (68 percent of women and 52 percent of men) say that traditionally "feminine" qualities-empathy, teamwork, and communication-are more important to success than "masculine" skills like aggressiveness and competitiveness.

-- 60 percent of men and 53 percent of women agree that women have unrealistic expectations of men-and that women expect more from men than men expect from women. Women want men to be successful, share the housework and childcare, and be their best friend.

-- Nearly 30 percent of men report that they would like to go back to a time when there were more rigid gender roles, because relationships were easier to navigate then.

-- 57 percent of men and 69 percent of women agree that men are more commitment-phobic now compared to previous generations.

-- When asked why men are waiting longer to get married these days, the sexes had different theories: 23 percent of men (the highest percentage) believe it's because they're waiting to be financially stable and established in their career. On the other hand, 37 percent of women (the highest percentage) believe that men enjoy being single and don't want to be tied down too soon.

-- Only 32 percent men and 29 percent of women think their generation will have happier marriages than past generations.

-- 13 percent of men say their partner has a stronger sex drive than they do, and 21 percent of women say their sex drive is stronger than their partner's.

-- 42 percent of guys and 61 percent of women are worried that their partner may cheat on them at some point.

-- 23 percent of men and 24 percent of women are worried they might cheat on their partner at some point.

-- 33 percent of men and 30 percent of women say they could forgive infidelity.

-- 29 percent of men reported that the number one thing women don't understand about them is that they want to feel needed-if a woman is overly independent or ambivalent, he'll worry there isn't a place for him in her life.

-- 57 percent of men and 52 percent of women define masculinity as being a good husband and father, choosing that definition over physical strength and "masculine" attitudes like ambition and decisiveness.

-- 71 percent of women and 45 percent of men think that they're under a lot of pressure to have it all (a great career, husband, kids, nice place, fun social life). 31 percent of women think men are under a lot of pressure, and 48 percent of men think women are under a lot of pressure.

-- When asked why fewer men are enrolling in college these days, men said it's because they're less confident a degree will lead to success. Women peg it on a lack of ambition.

-- Both men and women would rather have a male boss than a female boss.
On "The Early Show" Thursday, co-anchor Julie Chen talked to Cosmopolitan Editor in Chief Kate White and relationship expert Ian Kerner about Cosmo's "Man Summit," and the struggles men are having with their changing roles:

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Men: We Have It Tougher than Prior Generations

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Fifty years ago, men were the dominant wage earners in America and ruled the workplace. But, points out CBS News Correspondent Michelle Miller, traditional gender roles are being redefined. Today, men make up less than 50 percent of the workforce, and 40 percent of women are the primary source of their families' incomes.

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Nathan: So what did you do today while I was at work?
Amy: I lounged by the pool and I watched TV and I played video games.
Nathan: Rough life.
Amy: We should go out to dinner.

I love it when readers give me suggestions for column topics because it means that I don't have to think that much. I'm not very good at anything that requires intelligence, so avoiding thinking is a major part of what I do with my spare time (while drinking). In response to my column two weeks ago, a reader by the name of Melody told me that she thinks that life is easier for men, and that I should write a column illustrating how life is not easier for men than it is for women.

Now, I've never met Melody and I don't know her from Eve, but I'm still taking her suggestion because (and this is important) she saved me the pain and suffering of having to come up with my own column topic. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is priceless. Anyway, enough foreplay. Get out your knives and forks, and dig into the meat and potatoes of this Melody-inspired literary dish. You may thank her later; I'll do it now. Thanks, Melody.

"If I could get a dime with my body or my tears, I would. But no. I'm a guy so I have to use my brains."

Only one aspect of life is harder for you women: the physical. Yes, you are weaker and are often raped and beaten as a result. Yes, you go through periods every month. Yes, you are more hormonal than men. And yes, I am tired of hearing you bitch about this. Girls, seriously, we get it. You bleed every month. We know because you make a huge deal out of it, and we have to hear about it over and over again. I'm sorry God did that to you, but seriously, your physical makeup aside, you have life much easier than men. Don't believe me? Check out this list.

Men Must Work

Part of being a man is growing up with the knowledge that you will have to work your whole life. As a man, we know that no matter what, the world will require us to make money and provide for others. This is responsibility. This is pressure. This, in short, is a fucking bitch. Now, it is true that many women do work and that some of them even have to work because of fiscal situations or whatever, but the bottom line is that for most women, working is a choice. In this regard, women have options; men have responsibility. Or, as my girlfriend says, " You should buy me more stuff."

Your Orgasms Kick Ass

This one really pisses me off. I've seen women have orgasms that leave them slack jawed and drooling, grinning from ear to ear, and making noises that sound like a cross between a cat purring and a baby cooing. They have orgasms that last longer than an episode of Seinfeld. What do we get? About five seconds of release. I'd cut off my hand for the ability to have a female orgasm. And you think I'm kidding.

I ain't kidding.

You Can Have Kids

I love my mom. I'd do about anything for her. We have a bond. My dad? I mean he's great and all, and I also love him, but if a mysterious force made me choose between parents, there's no way that the guy who taught me how to play pool and drink beer would take precedence over the woman who nurtured me. In most cases, children bond with their mothers and get beat up by their fathers. And I tell you, I'm really looking forward to having a kid who doesn't listen to me and treats me like an ATM. It'll be kind of like having a girlfriend. Only without the sex.

You Can Manipulate the Opposite Sex

You know how many speeding tickets I've gotten out of because I cried? That's right. Zero. You know how many times I got great grades for sexually satisfying a teacher. That's right, three times. But she was really hot and I probably would have gotten an A without her help. Anyway, my point is that chicks can get whatever they want (pretty much) just by being hot and showing their bodies or by crying. If I could get a dime with my body or my tears, I would. But no. I'm a guy so I have to use my brains. Which basically screws me because I'm stupid.

Women get to have children, experience Technicolor orgasms, avoid a life of working, and use their bodies to get pretty much whatever they want from stupid men. Yes, physically they have it tougher than men for the most part, but in almost every other respect of life, they have it easier. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go back to work.

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women have no idea what it s like working for the man at a nine to five. men had no idea that orgasms could even last that long.

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Nathan: So what did you do today while I was at work? Amy: I lounged by the pool and I watched TV and I played video games. Nathan: Rough life. Amy: We should go out to dinner. I love it when readers give me suggestions for column topics because it means that I don't have to think that much.

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We all know this guy: He's attractive, suave and has an attitude that leads you to believe he doesn't have a care in the world. When you see him, your heart races as you feverishly rack your brain for something smooth to say when he approaches - if he approaches.

You think about him constantly. You replay the times you've spent together over and over in your head, overanalyzing the details of things he said to you, in hopes of finding a hint that maybe, just maybe, he likes you as much as you like him.

There you stand, though, at the bar, waiting for him to approach you. As if you didn't spend last Saturday night (err, morning) together; as if he didn't (drunkenly) blurt out that he liked your eyes; as if you weren't texting about the premiere of your favorite TV show on Wednesday.

He knows you're there. He also knows exactly how to play the game, and you're hooked.

After about an hour of attempting to look dainty, while obnoxiously flirtatious with other guys and darting your eyes to wherever he's standing every 30 seconds, he approaches you. A wave of happiness and calm takes over you.

It's like nothing happened; you guys flirt over a drink, laugh hysterically and end the night together.

The same thing happens next weekend. You barely hear from him all week, but you're smitten the second you do. When the cycle continues for months, and it's clear you both enjoy each other's company, you say the unthinkable: "So, what are we?"

All that pillow talk has got to mean something. Apparently, though, not to him. He brushes it off as if you're talking crazy. Of course, most of the time you spend together is either drunken or horizontal, but you feel like you connect.

Fast forward another month, and you've finally convinced this guy to date you. He has no more excuses, and he is willing to give it a shot. You felt foolish, but he made it clear he likes you, and you both felt something, so why not be official?

You fought for the guy you wanted, and you got him. You're ecstatic. Now what?

Let's put it simply: If you go into a relationship playing games, somebody is bound to lose.

Now, you've got the guy - the undateable guy. He's all yours. Maybe it lasts a year or two, and you realize there was a great boyfriend under that assh*le facade, but you're just not feeling him anymore.

Or, maybe, it ends a bit sooner because you realize what drew you to him was the challenge associated with wanting something you couldn't have. Regardless of the reason, you break up with him.

Suddenly, this emotional monster comes out; he's a literal mess. He wants to be with you and he will do whatever it takes to show it - love letters, gifts, incessant phone calls... you name it. He cannot handle that you're gone. But, he's still the guy who would ignore you in the bar! HIM!

This guy is tweeting sappy lyrics and posting sad quotes on Instagram while you're having cocktails with your friends.

So, do males have a harder time moving on from relationships than females? It seems they are much more hesitant to begin the relationships, yet they have a much more difficult time letting go.

Sure, we have our crying-into-Ben-and-Jerry's moments. However, as females, when we decide to move on from relationships, it's pretty easy to stick to it without poisoning everyone's news feed with Taylor Swift lyrics.

So, why is this? Why is that once-suave and sexy man spiraling downward after you two break up?

You were his first real relationship.

Before you, he spent his nights with various women, doing things you'd rather not imagine. He had a great time and loved the player lifestyle. He thought he had it all and looked forward to each weekend that promised endless drinks, bro time and meaningless sex.

That is, until you came around. You showed him what it was like to feel. You cared for him deeply and filled once-meaningless activities with meaning. You showed him a relationship didn't have to consume his entire life.

Now, he doesn't want that meaningless sex anymore. He's lost his "game" and compares every girl he meets to you. He wants you next to him and misses the awesome french toast you make for breakfast.

His family adores you.

Chances are, you are the first girl he took home. Much to his family's surprise, you're a smart girl who can laugh with his sister, swap recipes with his mom and enjoy a good beer with his dad.

You're wifey material.

You somehow saw past the player in him and pursued him until you got what you wanted. This trait translates to other parts of your life: You're ambitious, find the good in things and work for what you want. He knows you have a life outside of him; you have career goals, and those often take precedence.

Plus, you're low maintenance and easy to be around. He can see a life with someone like you and is afraid there aren't more girls out there with your intelligence, drive and dirty sense of humor.

His ego is bruised.

Remember, you changed this guy. He let walls down for you and hadn't let them down before. This may not have been your first relationship, and maybe it wasn't his, either, but he let you see a part of him he usually doesn't show, and he can't take that back.

You saw through his games and you got through to the real him. Underneath it all, he wasn't that super suave guy; you saw his sensitive side. His ego won't recover easily from a hot chick like you walking away from him.

His friends aren't as understanding.

One thing in life is constant: When you're heartbroken, your best girlfriends will be there in a second to cheer you up. They know just what to say, when to listen, and how long to let you complain until they pull you out of that slump.

I can't be sure how guy friends react in these situations, but I somehow doubt it's as supportive.

In an effort to maintain the manly persona, the guy holds back his feelings and bottles up the tears. You were his best friend. He got to talk to you about the things he'd never say to his guys. Now, who will he ask if his chambray shirt looks nice on him?

You showed him new things and shared life experiences.

Maybe you gave him a new appreciation for art, took cooking classes together or traveled through Europe.

Whatever it was, you opened up his world to lots of new things he'd never before experienced and wouldn't have experienced without you. You even made mundane things more fun for him. He was able to share a bit of his life with you.

You knew about his past, and he could talk to you about the things closest to his heart. He began to plan a life with you. Now, all those things you experienced together remind him of you, and he has nobody to whom he can vent his problems on the phone at night.

He's jealous.

You realize it's time to pull yourself together. You'll get your mani-pedi and fresh haircut, slap on some lipstick and a tight dress and get out there with the girls. He knows this.

He knows how great you look when you try and he's freaking out every night, assuming you're at a bar, making out with someone else. The thought of another guy's hands on you keeps him up at night. Be nice; don't post that many Instagram pics.

Women have, somehow, earned a bad reputation as emotional breakup monsters who completely overlook the way males react to heartbreak. Yes, we hurt, and yes, we appreciate the relationships we've left behind. To the guys who experience heartbreak, you'll be okay.

There are plenty of awesome girls out there. Why try to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you? Oh, and, I promise, calling us 20 times a day will, by no means, change our minds.
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Contributor

Vanessa likes using writing as an escape from her first love, science. She enjoys craft beer, Michael Jackson, empowering women, talks over coffee, and Taco Bell. Read more in her blog: TheSleekScientist.weebly.com

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7 Reasons Why Men Have A Harder Time Letting Go Than Women

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We all know this guy: He's attractive, suave and has an attitude that leads you to believe he doesn't have a care in the world. When you see him, your heart races as you feverishly rack your brain for something smooth to say when he approaches - if he approaches.