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b) Suggestions for improvement
Pauses: The story spoken had no pauses to give an impact to the reader. Perhaps more emotional parts could have a pause to create impact to the imagination of the reader.

Melody: Just like music, some parts are softly, some a louder; some are mellow, some are hyped. The different melodies in reading the story lets the reader create his/her own feel as if they are part of the story.

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agree, needs more work to make it more impactful :)

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a) Done well
Clarity: - spoken language was clear, with all words articulated well.

Vocal Variety: - Tonality was present and well done to create moments in the audio reading.

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Yes Roy - one is depending on the situation and also another with respect to the different characters.
It is important, and you have done that nicely in the story when in the last part we remind ourselves for not to take everything for granted.

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I think Roy clarity in the entire story is very clear - may be a little mild background music will make the environment a little softer.
The tonality could be a little better (consider high and lows) depending on the story. When the Ben was depressed and subsequently when the signboard was changed and more people responded etc.

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If your main intention is for the betterment of your listeners/receivers, then the idea of "thick skin" will not surface into your thinking process

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Yes, I do agree that the introduction of relevant music will greatly appeal to the emotions of the listeners

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Thanks Alan. I think its a good tip to have good range of tonalities such as different tones for different characters in the story

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Yes I think some light music will make it more sentimental, something like korean drama music lol

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Excellent piece of story telling!
Maybe consider wider range of tonalities.

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Ha Ha .... make it more romantic with background music

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Combine audio and Video will be the best

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Combine audio and Video will be the best

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with both audio and video it will completely show all details and understand the whole plot better

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The stories become more details with all the background information, it can shows more emotion side of Ben and what Ben had was thinking at that point shows in the video.

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Roy self review on strengths  - thick skin

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Roy self review on strengths  - thick skin

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Roy self review on improvements - try different voices for different characters 

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Roy self review on improvements - try different voices for different characters 

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Yes Gurudas, I think some emotions for the characters will have a greater impact.