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I believe that especially this year I have manifested a sense of urgency for deliverables (but not for community building, capacity building, etc.) or both myself and my students. I have seen this through my school's push for assessments, assignments, and deliverables surrounding student growth. Yes, these are important, but students also need to be safe and healthy in order to perform their best. Because of this, I alternatively have begun to focus on allowing all students to feel seen and heard by allocating time for the unexpected based on how long things actually took last time we did an activity.

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A characteristic I believe I have manifested is either/or thinking. Whenever I find myself in a situation I am quick to think in terms of extremes. I think of all the positives or all the negatives, without thinking of the in-betweens. I tend to think in a black or white manner, and I see it running into my teaching as well. For example, I notice the students who are doing higher than their level work, or students who are lower than their level, but treat those who are on-level as either higher or lower as well, when I should be seeing the gray shades.

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Last year, I spent a lot of the year thinking about perfectionism and the role it played throughout my education and still does in daily life. This year I want to think more about individualism and my tendency to feel like I need to "go it alone." I enjoy being a part of a team, but there is also a side of me that isolates in the face of challenges and tends to shut down my extraverted and collaborative tendencies when things get really hard. I am working on leaning into teamwork and delegation as tools/antidotes to better equip me for the difficulties I face.

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I realized as I was planning Cohort Convening that I needed every slide and every moment to be planned perfectly. I also realize that everyone has different needs and the time may need to go in another direction based on the responses of you all. So I'm working to be people-centered instead of trying to reach my idea of perfectionism.

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This year has been very go, go, go. I am trying to take a moment and slow down. Everyone is constantly talking about how the students are 'behind' and not at grade level, but I believe that they are exactly where they need to be for the school experience that they have had the past two years. I am trying to be okay with not getting everything done and working at the pace that my students need, not my school.

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I find myself stuck in the root of perfectionism. I work to try to have all things done at the right time and in the right way. I am not as much a perfectionist with others as I am with myself. I do notice it within the classroom and with my students at times. If they do not meet the high expectations I have set for them, I often feel I have done something incorrect or not well enough.

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I have been trying to disrupt a sense of urgency in myself and my classroom. I think that because my students are so "behind" their grade level, I tend to think that we need to rush to "catch them up". The reality is that each student learns at their own pace and that it is not a bad thing that they are behind the expectations of their respective grade levels. That doesn't mean that we won't keep working to ensure they learn all that they can, but it means that my students (and I) should not feel ashamed for any of their deficits and will continue to ensure that we meet ALL their needs, both academic and emotional.

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I definitely have the tendency to expect perfection, whether it is from myself or from my students. I think that setting high expectations for myself and for my students is incredibly important, but I need to ensure that my classroom environment is one that supports mistakes and is always focused on learning rather than results.

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One white dominant characteristic that I am working to disrupt is objectivity. When I am asked questions, I feel the need to respond right away and with the correct answer. However, there are times when there isn't one correct answer or I need more time to process. When working with other professionals in my school, I feel like every answer I give is the wrong one. I want to work towards disrupting objectivity in my own professional life/classroom and hope this spreads throughout all interactions I have, in and out of the workplace.

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I've recently taken note of my tendency to value quantity over quality, a white dominant characteristic. This manifests in what I'm asking my students to produce. As an alternative behavior, I'd like to lean into including process goals for my students. Process goals can be measured on a running record just as a finished product would be.

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I know I'm guilty of this. I'll show my students several ways to do something and they can complete it in various ways, as well. However, when they complete their work, it's not what I asked for and I find myself getting irritated at them for it. My sight becomes fogged with frustration, causing me to view the students as their mistakes/struggles instead of seeing them for who they are and where they're at.

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I do feel under a deadline all of the time. There are days where I let the flow go in whatever pace it does. But when I do this, I feel very guilty. I often feel a sense of urgency for standards however know that the actual learning is what matters most.