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I think your story was really good I liked how it ended and was action packed. Next time maybe you could work on spelling but otherwise the story was great

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Hi Vinny I really liked your story, I loved your conclusion were you added the onomatopoeia and all your other com positional risks. I also liked how you  said you were in slow motion. Overall I loved your story keep up the good work.

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I really liked how your title went along with you story and how Alex and his friend got stuck their. Also I really enjoyed your story because you put a lot of detail into how the 7 Island of Doom looked like. Maybe next time if you make a story like this you can add a little more dramatic feel to the story because I think you wanted it to be scary. Overall great job on the story and hope I can read another story of yours.

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I really liked your story because it had a lot of suspenseful moments that made me feel like I was actually there. It also had some parts that made it kind of interesting especially when at the end Alex was at home and he heard a knock and it was actually James. I liked that part a lot. Even though your story was amazing I wished you used your time more wisely so you could have finished the story and make everyone happy with the ending of 7 ISLANDS OF DOOM!!!!!

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Hi vincent!!! Amazing essay!! I definitely agree with your topic. It is clear and very well written!! Your zinger outstanding. I can't even put into words how much I loved it!! Next time just try to check over your work, but overall great job!!!

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I like your story it was very good

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I thought everything was good. I really like in the zinger and how you put a quote from one of the best and well known man in the country. Next time you could check over your work a little more because I saw some words or phrases that didn't make sense. Great job.

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Wow Vinny, what a story.  It was hilarious and I loved how you included HofDog in there as well.  You used very good word choice I thought and liked your transitions, I thought they were smooth.  One thing is that I did get confused when you kept saying the end after every page almost.  Overall amazing story!

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Vin this story was the best story ever!   I loved how you included Hof Dog! And your story made me laugh a lot.

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Hey Vincent! Your story was great, funny, and full of detail. There was a couple times I got confused where you said ¨Then he decided “This is what I was born for.” I decided to go down the chimney like Santa does but as soon as I stepped in I got stuck then I decided to call my elves to get me butter to help me get out.¨ I was confused because it changed from 3rd person to 1st person out of nowhere. I also liked how you included people from your everyday life. Overall your story was great!

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Hey Vincent! Good story! I love the comedy of your story it really made me laugh when you were describing some of the events. I also enjoyed the word choice used throughout the story. Next time, try to focus on one main problem because sometimes it's hard to keep track of all the events. Overall, really funny and great story!

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Hi vin, I liked how you related the story to yourself because you are a football player and play the same position as bob and josh. In the future make the story flow a little bit better for example you just teleport a week later to the next game. maybe next time so how josh was feeling during the week like how people treated him at school or how he felt not starting. I liked how you made them start off in high school and made it into the NFL, also I liked how you included your friends in the story. overall i loved your story because I stayed interested because I enjoy the topic

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Great

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I really like your plot! I like how you gently introduced the problem. You also added lots of good detail for the readers! I feel you should give the reader some background information about the plot or topic so they can understand or visualize the situation better. Good Job!

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Great story Vinny! I liked how you used your own characters and real people in your everyday life and brought them into one big story with real NFL players. There was a couple times where I got a little confused because I think you said Bob snapped the ball but then he ran it? I was just a little confused probably because I don’t know football terms. Greatstory overall though.

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Vinny, i liked your story it was very interesting You used good words and good description