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Website with Hard Questions Answered for Parents

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Website with Hard Questions Answered for Parents

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This website provides answers to some frequently asked questions from parents about topics related to gender identity. Some parents have a lot of questions and concerns for their child's future, education and well being.

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Parenting a gender-diverse child can leave some parents with a lot of questions and concerns for their child's wellbeing. Research suggests that gender is something we are born with; it can't be changed by any interventions. So, rather than predicting or preventing who a child may become, it is better to value them for who they are now, even at a young age. This approach fosters secure attachment and resilience.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends parents make their home a place where their child feels safe and loved unconditionally for who they are. Here are frequently asked questions from parents about topics related to gender identity.

Will my child grow up to be transgender?

By preschool, kids start to recognize gender differences, both physically and socially. They also start to develop feelings, thoughts, and fantasy play that allows them to explore their gender. It is important to recognize that cross-gender preferences and play is a normal part of this exploration process, regardless of their future gender identity. However, research suggests that children who assert a gender-diverse identity know their gender as clearly and consistently as other kids do and benefit from the same level of support, love, and social acceptance.

It used to be the case that for children, gender-diverse assertions were seen as "possibly true" and not acknowledged until they were considered old enough to know for sure. This does not serve the child, because it increases discomfort without offering critical support and understanding. The best approach for parents is to love and appreciate their child as they are in the moment.

What caused my child to identify with a different gender?

While we do not understand why some children identify as gender-diverse or transgender, research suggests that gender identity involves biology, development, socialization and culture. There is no evidence that parenting is responsible for a child having a gender identity that is not in line with his or her gender assigned at birth. Childhood trauma does not cause a child to become gender-diverse, transgender, or impact their sexual orientation. Variations in gender identity and expression are normal aspects of human diversity.

If a mental health issue exists, it most often stems from other factors, such as bullying, discrimination, and other negative experiences. Being seen as "different" is not easy, especially in childhood, and may contribute to teasing or bullying. If this is happening, speak with the child's teacher and the school to create a plan to prevent bullying. The most important thing to remember is to support, love, and accept your child as he or she is.

My gender-diverse child is still exploring their gender identity, but really distressed about puberty. What can we do?

During puberty, hormone "blockers" can be used to delay physical development. This is reversable and gives an individual more time to explore their gender identity. Available data show that delaying puberty in transgender children generally leads to improved psychological functioning in adolescence and young adulthood. For those who were assigned female at birth, periods may be particularly distressing. Periods can be reduced or blocked with "blockers" or with certain contraceptive agents.

What treatments are available for children who identify as transgender? What does the process include?

As gender-diverse individuals express their underlying gender identity, they engage in a gender affirmation process (sometimes referred to as "gender transition"). This process involves reflection, acceptance, and, for some, intervention. There is no prescribed path, sequence or endpoint, but the process may include any of the following components:

Social Affirmation: This is a reversible intervention in which children and adolescents express their asserted gender identity by adapting hairstyle, clothing, pronouns, name, etc.

Legal Affirmation: When elements of a social affirmation, such as name and gender marker, become official on legal documents (birth certificates, passports, school documents, etc.). The steps to doing this vary from state to state, and often specific documentation from the child's health providers is required.

Medical Affirmation: This is the process of using hormones to allow adolescents who have started puberty to develop characteristics of the opposite gender. Some changes are partially reversible if hormones are stopped, but others are not.

Surgical Affirmation: Surgical approaches are used most often in adults, but occasionally on a case-by-case basis in older adolescents, to also modify certain characteristics, such as hair distribution, chest, or genitalia. These changes are not reversible..

The decision of whether and when to initiate gender-affirmative treatments is personal and involves careful consideration of the risks, benefits and other factors unique to each patient and family. The gender affirmation process is best when facilitated through collaboration between the patient, their family, their primary care provider, a mental health provider (preferably with expertise in caring for transgender and gender diverse youth), social supports, and a pediatric endocrinologist or adolescent medicine gender specialist, if available.

If my child says they are "gender fluid" does that just mean they are confused?

No. For some people gender identity can be fluid, shifting between more masculine, feminine, in between or something else, in different contexts or at different times. This may also be part of a person's personal journey or exploration of gender.

Can my child become transgender because of their friends or things they see online? What if there were no earlier signs?

Being transgender is not contagious. Some children and teens may not have confronted or feel they have to suppress gender-diverse traits until they find nonjudgmental and affirming peers or online communities. If this is discovered by parents, or the child discloses such suppressed feelings, it may seem sudden and unexpected.

Additional Information & Resources:

About Dr. Rafferty:

Jason Rafferty, MD, MPH, EdM, FAAP, is a "Triple Board" residency graduate who is pediatrician and child psychiatrist at Thundermist Health Centers, a Patient-Centered Medical Home in Rhode Island. He specializes in adolescent substance use disorders and gender and sexual development, and also practices in related specialty clinics at Hasbro Children's Hospital and Emma Pendleton Bradley Hospital. Dr. Rafferty is an advocate in his local community and on a national level through work with the American Academy of Pediatrics on issues including the emotional health of young men, access to care for LGBTQ youth, and prevention of childhood homelessness.

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gender~ transgender~ faq~ gender fluid~ gender diverse~ lqbtq parent

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Parenting a Gender Diverse Child: Hard Questions Answered

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Parenting a gender-diverse child can leave some parents with a lot of questions and concerns for their child's wellbeing. Research suggests that gender is something we are born with; it can't be changed by any interventions. So, rather than predicting or preventing who a child may become, it is better to value them for who they are now, even at a young age.

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-What are feminine traits?

-What are masculine traits?
-What does it mean to be transgender?
-What can I do to help myself or my peers feel more comfortable expressing my gender identity?
-What does it feel like to be belittled or criticized because of your identity?
-Why do some people stand up to prejudice and unfairness while others choose not to?

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Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl? by Sarah Savage and Fox Fisher

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Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl? by Sarah Savage and Fox Fisher

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This picture book follows Tiny, a child who likes dressing up and playing games, but doesn’t like telling people whether they’re a boy or a girl. This book is a great starting point for parents and teachers to address the idea of gender identity with children.

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'A lovely, sensitive, much-needed book that helps all children ask the big questions about identity and gender.' - Juno Dawson, author of This Book is Gay
Tiny loves costumes! Tiny likes to dress up as an animal, or a doctor, or a butterfly. Tiny also prefers not to tell other children whether they are a boy or a girl. Tiny's friends don't mind, but when Tiny starts a new school their new friends can't help asking one question:

"Tiny, are you a boy or are you a girl?"

This brightly illustrated book will open a dialogue with children aged 3+ about gender diversity in a fun and creative way. Featuring a gender neutral protagonist, the book imparts an important message about identity and being who you want to be. Tiny's story will assist parents, family and teachers in giving children the space to express themselves fully, explore different identities and have fun at the same time.

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gender studies: transsexuals & hermaphroditism

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gender; diversity; identity; transgender; gender fluid; children; young; non-binary; stereotypes; gender binary; genderqueer; illustrated; picture book; gender diversity; gender identity; lgbt; trans; school; bullying; girl; boy

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gender studies: transsexuals & hermaphroditism

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Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl? [Savage, Sarah, Fisher, Fox] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Are You a Boy or Are You a Girl?

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This book is a call for tolerance and an end to bullying and judgments. Inspired by the author’s son, and by her own initial struggles to understand him, this book is all about unconditional love and one remarkable family. Dyson loves pink, sparkly things. Sometimes he wears dresses. Sometimes he wears jeans. He likes to wear his princess tiara, even when climbing trees.

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Video: Kids Meet a Gender Non-Conforming Person HiHo Kids

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Video: Kids Meet a Gender Non-Conforming Person HiHo Kids

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I personally think that parents and teachers need to to know about HiHo Kids if they do not already. It is a YouTube channel that features a diverse cast of boys and girls of various ages who are open to learning new things. The YouTube channel features clever videos that show the students trying new things like unusual foods, meeting people with unique occupations and life stories, asking questions and playing with toys from all around the world. In this video a variety of students sit down with a gender non-conforming person and ask questions.

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Kids Meet a Gender Non-Conforming Person | Kids Meet | HiHo Kids

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National Geographic Interviews Students from Around the World in This Video

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National Geographic Interviews Students from Around the World in This Video

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Hear Kids' Honest Opinions on Being a Boy or Girl Around the World | National Geographic: National Geographic traveled around the world to talk with 9-year-olds and ask what it's like to be growing up in 2016, and how gender affects their lives.

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Hear Kids' Honest Opinions on Being a Boy or Girl Around the World | National Geographic

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Organizations Focusing on Gender-Expansive Children and Youth

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Organizations Focusing on Gender-Expansive Children and Youth

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"This mid-western program promotes gender inclusive education and awareness surrounding transgender, transsexual, intersex and gender diverse people through evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public and private policy and respect in transgender health and wellbeing."

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Gender Expansion Project (GEP)

The Gender Expansion Project's mission is to promote gender-inclusive education and awareness surrounding transgender, transsexual, intersex, and gender diverse people through evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public and private policy, and respect in transgender health and wellbeing.

The Gender Expansion Project's mission is to promote gender-inclusive education and awareness surrounding transgender, transsexual, intersex, and gender diverse people through evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public and private policy, and respect in transgender health and wellbeing.

We need your help! These amazing grantee partners depend on your generous support.

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Gender Expansion Project (GEP) - Astraea Lesbian Foundation For Justice

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The Gender Expansion Project's mission is to promote gender-inclusive education and awareness surrounding transgender, transsexual, intersex, and gender diverse people through evidence based care, education, research, advocacy, public and private policy, and respect in transgender health and wellbeing.

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Professional Development and Training programs

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Professional Development and Training programs

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Gender Spectrum has Professional Development and Training programs that have reached educators who work with more than 3.2 million children. In one year, we conducted training for more than 130 leading organizations of youth-serving professionals.

Their Online Groups and Programs reach adults and youth from more than 20 countries and all 50 states. The Gender Spectrum Lounge has members in all seven continents,

Gender Spectrum  works to create gender sensitive and inclusive environments for all children and teens. They also provide community information and training on support for gender variant children and their families.

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Ballerino Nate by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

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Ballerino Nate by Kimberly Brubaker Bradley

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After being teased by his brother about wanting to become a ballerina, Nate begins to believe his jokes about having to wear a tutu and pink shoes when he discovers he is the only boy in the class. in a moving story he follows his dreams of dancing and expresses his strong determination to dance

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juvenile fiction / performing arts / dance

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juvenile fiction / performing arts / general

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Teased by his brother about wanting to become a ballerina, Nate begins to believe his jokes about having to wear a tutu and pink shoes when he discovers he is the only boy in the class, in a moving story about a young boy's big dreams and his strong determination to dance!

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-What are some differences and similarities in behavior between girls and boys?

-What are some stereotypes in advertisements?

-What are some gender differences in education?

-How have you seen gender discrimination in the classroom?

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The princess doesn't need rescuing in this story. Elizabeth, a beautiful princess, lives in a castle and wears fancy clothes. Just when she is about to marry Prince Ronald, a dragon smashes her castle, burns her clothes with his fiery breath, and takes Prince Ronald.The princess wears a paper bag and goes on to rescue Prince Ronald only to find out he cares more about her appearance than her personality.

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children's / teenage fiction & true stories

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juvenile fiction / action & adventure / general

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juvenile fiction/action & adventure - general

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royalty (kings  queens  princes  princesses  knights  etc.)

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juvenile fiction / action & adventure / general

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juvenile fiction/action & adventure - general

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royalty (kings  queens  princes  princesses  knights  etc.)

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children's / teenage fiction & true stories

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Amazon.com: The Paper Bag Princess (9780920236253): Munsch, Robert, Martchenko, Michael: Books

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Pinky And Rex And The Bully by James Howe 

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Pinky And Rex And The Bully by James Howe 

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This is a story about breaking gender norms and sticking up to a bully. The main character Pinky’s favorite color is pink, and his best friend, Rex, is a girl. Kevin, the third-grade bully, says that makes Pinky a "sissy". Pinky knows Kevin is wrong, but he’s still worried. Does Pinky have to give up his favorite things, and worse, does he have to give up his best friend?

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The big city meets the wild Wild West in Jeanne Willis's lyrical text, accompanied by hilarious illustrations from Tony Ross. From the window of a high-rise city apartment, a little girl imagines a very different view and dreams of a very different life. This book makes it okay to have goals and dreams that may be different than the norm.

“I don’t want to be a good girl-
Good girls have no fun.
I can’t play quiet games indoors,
I love the rain and sun.
I don’t want to be a girly girl
Who likes to sit and chat.
I just want to be a cowgirl, Daddy,
What’s so wrong with that?”

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juvenile fiction / lifestyles / farm & ranch life

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juvenile fiction / lifestyles / farm & ranch life

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I Want to Be a Cowgirl [Willis, Jeanne, Ross, Tony] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. I Want to Be a Cowgirl

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-Does my district or school’s anti-bullying policy expressly protect students from harassment based on gender identity?
-Can technology use help reduce gender discrimination?
-How do gender misconceptions impact behavior?
-Is there gender discrimination in sports?

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I Am Jazz by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings

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I Am Jazz by Jessica Herthel and Jazz Jennings

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The story of a transgender child based on the real-life experience of Jazz Jennings, who has become a spokesperson for transkids everywhere. From the time she was two years old, Jazz knew that she had a girl's brain in a boy's body.

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juvenile nonfiction / biography & autobiography / general

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juvenile nonfiction / biography & autobiography / lgbt

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juvenile nonfiction / family / general (see also headings under social topics)

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juvenile nonfiction/biography & autobiography - general

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juvenile nonfiction/social topics - general (see also headings under family)

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picture books; books for 4 year olds; lgbt; lgbt books; lgbtq; transgender books; transgender history; transgender; jazz; books for 7 year old girls; buddha; childrens books by age 5-8; kids books ages 6-8; jazz book; lgbt children's books; lgbt kids books; transgender children and youth; social emotional books for kids; feelings; kindness; kindness books for children; bullying books for kids; bullying; empathy books for kids; diverse childrens books; jazz jennings; nonfiction books for kids 6-8; fitness

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transgender books;transgender history;transgender;jazz;jazz book;lgbt children's books;lgbt kids books;transgender children and youth;social emotional books for kids;feelings;kindness;kindness books for children;bullying books for kids;bullying;empathy books for kids;diverse childrens books;jazz jennings;lgbt;lgbt books;lgbtq;picture books;childrens books by age 5-8;kids books ages 6-8;buddha;books for 7 year old girls;books for 4 year olds;nonfiction books for kids 6-8;fitness

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juvenile nonfiction / biography & autobiography / general

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juvenile nonfiction / biography & autobiography / lgbt

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juvenile nonfiction / family / general (see also headings under social topics)

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juvenile nonfiction/biography & autobiography - general

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juvenile nonfiction/social topics - general (see also headings under family)

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I Am Jazz [Herthel, Jessica, Jennings, Jazz, McNicholas, Shelagh] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. I Am Jazz

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Little Granny Quarterback by Bill Martin Jr & Micheal Sampson

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Little Granny Quarterback by Bill Martin Jr & Micheal Sampson

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This story talks about women in sports, especially football, a sport currently dominated by men. Granny Whiteoak, who was a star quarterback in her youth, hears on TV that her team is in trouble. She leaps from her bed and into the television, coming out at the stadium where she defeats the opposition with a startling touchdown.

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Little Granny Quarterback [Martin, Bill] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Little Granny Quarterback

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Malala's Magic Pencil by Yousafzai, Malala 

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Malala's Magic Pencil by Yousafzai, Malala 

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This is a wonderful story for students to read. As a child in Pakistan, Malala made a wish for a magic pencil. She would use it to make everyone happy, to erase the smell of garbage from her city, to sleep an extra hour in the morning. But as she grew older, Malala saw that there were more important things to wish for.

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This websites explores various STEM careers in a fun engaging way for students to understand. Students will learn about real-world scientific concepts via videos and they will get to follow where the STEM Career Kids’ adventures take them.

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Get ready for fun and discovery with the STEM Career Kids. Your students will love learning about real-world scientific concepts and seeing where the STEM Career Kids' adventures take them.

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Little Kunoichi the Ninja Girl by Sanae Ishida

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Little Kunoichi the Ninja Girl by Sanae Ishida

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here is much to intrigue both genders, from silly jokes and pink dragons to swordplay. Little Kunoichi, a young ninja in training, is frustrated. Inspired by tiny Chibi Samurai’s practice and skills, she works harder than ever and makes a friend. Together, they show the power of perseverance, hard work, and cooperation when they wow the crowd at the Island Festival. Ninja skills don’t come easily to Little Kunoichi.

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Shark Lady: The True Story of How Eugenie Clark Became the Ocean’s Most Fearless Scientist By Jess Keating, Illustrated by Marta Alvarez Miguens

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Shark Lady: The True Story of How Eugenie Clark Became the Ocean’s Most Fearless Scientist By Jess Keating, Illustrated by Marta Alvarez Miguens

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This is the story of Shark Lady. Eugenie Clark was determined to become an ichthyologist — no matter the people who told her.

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A Class That Turned Around Kids' Assumptions of Gender Roles

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A Class That Turned Around Kids' Assumptions of Gender Roles

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All of the students in this class are asked to draw a firefighter, a surgeon and a fighter pilot. When a real-life firefighter, surgeon, and fighter pilot drop in on a classroom, these kids have their assumptions about gender roles turned around.

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A Class That Turned Around Kids' Assumptions of Gender Roles!

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3 Stages of STEM Education. Building challenges,
engineering design challenges,  and design competitions for students.

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STEM education is sweeping the nation. From robotics competitions to coding games, school districts are scrambling to provide STEM programs while teachers sift through thousands of Pinterest pins in search of quality activities. As a STEM Director, I am always looking for new curriculum ideas, but my biggest frustration is the wide-range of activities that are labeled "STEM." Building a tower from spaghetti and tape is categorized the same as programming a Lego Mindstorm to navigate a maze. One project takes 10 minutes while the other requires weeks of critical thinking and learning a programming language. We need further clarification to distinguish these levels in STEM education. To help guide educators and administrators in the implementation of curriculum and development of programs, we propose the following 3 stages of STEM Education.

Stage 1: Building Challenges

From building the tallest tower of index cards to flying a paper airplane, stage one STEM challenges are the most basic activities. These challenges do not have an obvious connection to math and science concepts and at first may seem like superficial activities. However, they are important primary activities that serve to build a foundation of skills in problem solving, teamwork, communication, and grit.

Pinterest is filled with Stage 1 STEM Challenges with the most popular being the tower challenges. During our afterschool STEM program, we use simple STEM challenges as icebreakers. Our favorite is the pipecleaner tower challenge, described in further detail here. Students work in teams to build the tallest tower, and through this challenge, they learn how to work in a group, discover communication solutions, effectively use the materials, and persevere despite difficulties and failure. You can find more icebreaker STEM challenges here.

Stage 2: Engineering Design Challenges

In stage 2, students apply math and science concepts to problems using the engineering design process. Instead of immediately building, students are systematically guided through a process of brainstorming, design, building, testing, re-design, and sharing their solutions.

Our most popular product, the catapult challenge (found here), is a great example of this stage. Students apply knowledge of elastic potential energy to design a catapult device to either hit a target or maximize distance. During the testing phase, students analyze catapult designs through graphing results, averaging data, and comparing results of different launch angles. This process enhances student critical thinking skills while integrating math and science skills into an engaging hands-on engineering project. Real-world connections further enhance curriculum -- including discussion of engineering careers, connection to real-life catapults used on aircraft carriers, and historical catapults in warfare.

Important note: many popular challenges circulating online do not have the rigor of Stage 2 STEM, including a math and science connection. Promoting only Stage 1 activities can quickly lead STEM to be dismissed as superficial and unnecessary. However, many teachers complain of a lack of quality STEM curriculum, and we are slowly trying to fill this gap along with other motivated educators. We believe that most classroom STEM activities should fall into Stage 2. Teachers and curriculum writers should commit to connecting STEM activities to relevant math and science standards and properly guide students through the entire engineering design process.

Stage 3: Design Competitions

Robotics competitions have taken over the education world! Stage 3 STEM involves long-term projects such as FLL robotics where math and science concepts are applied to solve open-ended problems using the engineering design process. Students should have successfully completed Stage 1 and 2 projects to build a foundation of skills and understanding of the engineering design process. Stage 3 challenges students to dive deeply into a problem, rigorously apply the engineering design process, learn new technology, and present results.

Another example of a design competition is the Mars Colony Competition that our Space Club organizes each year. Students are challenged with designing a long-term human habitat on Mars to keep humans happy and healthy. Students research the atmosphere of Mars, learn about community planning, and design engineering and mental health solutions. They answer questions like: How will your colony survive a dust storm? How will you entertain colonists for a long mission on Mars? The final product includes a prototype that is presented to STEM professionals for judging. You can find the complete instructions, rubric, and student handouts for this project here.

Updated March 2019: Do your students struggle with research? We now have a Mission to Mars game to help your students learn about Mars and NASA technologies! Game cards guide them in debating which solutions are best for keeping humans alive and happy. Our students LOVE this game! Check it out here.

3 Stages of STEM Education

A successful year-long STEM program should guide students from Stage 1 to Stage 3 STEM challenges to build a foundation of skills and confidence. An awareness of the distinct stages of STEM allows for teachers to easily incorporate Stage 1 activities into their classroom knowing that it isn't expected or even recommended to start with Stage 2 or 3 STEM challenges. Often, teachers assume a STEM activity must include very technically challenging skills such as programming or electrical engineering, and they are afraid to have anything to do with STEM. We challenge all teachers to incorporate some level of STEM into their curriculum!

A note about career connection: At Vivify, we believe that all STEM challenges should incorporate STEM career connections and present problems based on real-world scenarios. Students then become excited about STEM pathways and are inspired to pursue STEM careers, thus fulfilling an important goal of STEM education.

The stages of STEM is a new topic of discussion, so below we have created an infographic to aid in your journey through the STEM stages. We would love to hear any comments you have below!

Tagged: stem education, stages of stem, stem curriculum, stem in afterschool, STEM, STEM Resources, STEM curriculum, stem building challenges, stage 1 stem, stage 2 stem, stage 3 stem, icebreakers, engineering challenge, engineering design process, catapult, robotics, NASA Lessons

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Not all STEM is Equal: 3 Stages of STEM Education - Vivify STEM

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STEM education is sweeping the nation. From robotics competitions to coding games, school districts are scrambling to provide STEM programs while teachers sift through thousands of Pinterest pins in search of quality activities. As a STEM Director, I am always looking for new curriculum ideas, but m

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg The Case of R.B.G. Vs. Inequality by Jonah Winter

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Ruth Bader Ginsburg The Case of R.B.G. Vs. Inequality by Jonah Winter

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To become the first female Jewish Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had to overcome countless injustices as a woman. Learn about her story in a picture book.
-A New York Times/New York Public -Library Best Illustrated Children's Book of 2017

-2018 ALA Notable Children's Book

-2018 Parents' Choice Gold Medal

-2018 Notable Social Studies Trade -Book for Young People

-2018 Amelia Bloomer List selection

-ILA 2018 Teachers' Choice Reading List selection

-A 2018 Bank Street Best Children's Book of the Year

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Mae Among the Stars By Roda Ahmed, Illustrated by Stasia Burrington

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Mae Among the Stars By Roda Ahmed, Illustrated by Stasia Burrington

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This book, based on the life of Mae Jemison, the first African-American woman to travel to space, is about pushing back against sexism and racism and about the value of hard work.

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A beautiful picture book for sharing and marking special occasions such as graduation, inspired by the life of the first African American woman to travel in space, Mae Jemison. An Amazon Best Book of the Month!

A great classroom and bedtime read-aloud, Mae Among the Stars is the perfect book for young readers who have big dreams and even bigger hearts.

When Little Mae was a child, she dreamed of dancing in space. She imagined herself surrounded by billions of stars, floating, gliding, and discovering.

She wanted to be an astronaut.

Her mom told her, "If you believe it, and work hard for it, anything is possible."

Little Mae's curiosity, intelligence, and determination, matched with her parents' encouraging words, paved the way for her incredible success at NASA as the first African American woman to travel in space.

This book will inspire other young girls to reach for the stars, to aspire for the impossible, and to persist with childlike imagination.

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Mae Among the Stars [Ahmed, Roda, Burrington, Stasia] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Mae Among the Stars

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Talking to Kids About Gender Equality Video Resource

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Talking to Kids About Gender Equality Video Resource

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From The House of Wellness Episode 40.
“Talking to kids about the facts of life has always been tough. So we asked a group of parents and their children to sit down and talk through some of life's biggest and most important topics.This week we asked our curious kids what they know about gender equality.”

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Talking to Kids About... Gender Equality

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From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea By Kai Cheng Thom, Illustrated by Wai-Yant Li and Kai Yun Ching

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From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea By Kai Cheng Thom, Illustrated by Wai-Yant Li and Kai Yun Ching

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Miu Lan is a child who can change into any shape imaginable, but can’t decide which to. Do they want to be a bird or a fish, a tree or a star, a boy or a girl.

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In the magical time between night and day, when both the sun and the moon are in the sky, a child is born in a little blue house on a hill. And Miu Lan is not just any child, but one who can change into any shape they can imagine. The only problem is they can’t decide what to be: A boy or a girl? A bird or a fish? A flower or a shooting star? At school, though, they must endure inquisitive looks and difficult questions from the other children, and they have trouble finding friends who will accept them for who they are. But they find comfort in the loving arms of their mother, who always offers them the same loving refrain: “whatever you dream of / i believe you can be / from the stars in the sky to the fish in the sea.”

In this captivating, beautifully imagined picture book about gender, identity, and the acceptance of the differences between us, Miu Lan faces many questions about who they are and who they may be. But one thing’s for sure: no matter what this child becomes, their mother will love them just the same.

Kai Cheng Thom is a writer, performance artist, and psychotherapist in Toronto. Her first poetry book, a Place Called No Homeland, was published in 2017.

Kai Yun Ching is a community-based organizer, educator, and illustrator in Montreal.

Wai-Yant Li is a ceramics artist and illustrator in Montreal.

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Kai Cheng Thom (Author), Kai Yun Ching (Author), Wai-Yant Li (Illustrator) & 0 more

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From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea

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From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea [Thom, Kai Cheng, Ching, Kai Yun, Li, Wai-Yant] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. From the Stars in the Sky to the Fish in the Sea

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While riding the subway home from the pool with his abuela one day, Julián notices three women all dressed up. When Julián gets home, daydreaming of the magic of the women he saw all he wants to do is dress up just like them in his own marvelous mermaid costume.

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people & places - united states - hispanic & latino

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juvenile fiction / holidays & celebrations / other

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juvenile fiction / people & places / united states / hispanic & latino

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juvenile fiction/holidays & celebrations - other

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juvenile fiction/people & places - united states - hispanic & latino

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people & places - united states - hispanic & latino

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picture books; mermaids; mermaid books for kids; abuela; grandma; daydreaming; mermaid costume; being yourself; acceptance; love; family; parade; books for 7 year old girls; books for 4 year old girls; books for 6 year old girls; books for 4 year old boys; mermaid; books for 5 year old girls; books for 5 year old boys; lgbt children's books; mermaid book; mermaid books; childrens books by age 5-8; kids books ages 6-8; books for kids 5-7; books for 7 year old boys; lgbt; lgbt books; multicultural children's books

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picture books;mermaids;mermaid books for kids;abuela;grandma;daydreaming;mermaid costume;being yourself;acceptance;love;family;parade;mermaid;lgbt children's books;mermaid book;mermaid books;childrens books by age 5-8;books for kids 5-7;kids books ages 6-8;books for 5 year old girls;books for 5 year old boys;books for 4 year old girls;books for 7 year old girls;books for 4 year old boys;books for 7 year old boys;lgbt;books for 6 year old girls;books for 6 year old boys;lgbt books

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juvenile fiction / holidays & celebrations / other

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juvenile fiction / people & places / united states / hispanic & latino

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juvenile fiction/holidays & celebrations - other

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juvenile fiction/people & places - united states - hispanic & latino

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Julián Is a Mermaid [Love, Jessica, Love, Jessica] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Julián Is a Mermaid

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Women in Sports: 50 Fearless Athletes Who Played to Win by Rachel WinIgnotofsky,

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Women in Sports: 50 Fearless Athletes Who Played to Win by Rachel WinIgnotofsky,

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A book featuring the profiles of fifty pioneering female athletes, from the author of the New York Times bestseller Women in Science. With wonderful illustrations, Women in Sports highlights the achievements and stories of fifty athletes. It covers more than forty sports and contains infographics about notable women's teams throughout history.

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Susan B. Anthony is incredibly important to learn about.  During this time women and men were not considered equal. Women could not own property, vote, or receive good education. Susan envisioned a time when women would be treated fairly and became a voice for change.

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-What was the justification of inequality in American history?
-What are some outdated gender stereotypes?
What would you like to see for the future of gender norms?

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Blog Post: Gender Equity in the Classroom by  Rebecca Alber

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Blog Post: Gender Equity in the Classroom by  Rebecca Alber

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Rebecca Alber writes some ideas on how to minimize gender bias in teaching practices and curriculums.

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Some ideas on how to minimize gender bias in our teaching practice and curriculum.

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Jacob's Room to Choose by Sarah Hoffman and Ian Hoffman

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Jacob's Room to Choose by Sarah Hoffman and Ian Hoffman

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When Jacob tries to use the boy's bathroom, he is mistaken for a girl and chased out. He feels so hurt and confused. Jacob's friend Sophie faces the same situation and their peers get together to make things better. This book also features a "note to parents" by Lore M. Dickey, PhD,  that features a guide for caregivers that includes a list of helpful resources on how support and advocate for gender nonconforming and transgender students.

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Video Story: Catching the Moon: The Story of a Young Girl's Baseball Dream 

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Video Story: Catching the Moon: The Story of a Young Girl's Baseball Dream 

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If there was anything in the world better than playing baseball, Marcenia Lyle didn't know what it was. As a young girl in the 1930s, she chased down fly balls and stole bases, and dreamed of one day playing professional ball.

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If there was anything in the world better than playing baseball, Marcenia Lyle didn't know what it was. As a young girl in the 1930s, she chased down fly balls and stole bases, and dreamed of one day playing professional ball. With spirit, spunk, and a great passion for the sport, Marcenia struggled to overcome the objections of family, friends, and coaches, who felt a girl had no place in the field. When she finally won a position in a baseball summer camp sponsored by the St. Louis Cardinals, Marcenia was on her way to catching her dream. Full of warmth and youthful energy, Catching the Moon is the story of the girl who grew up to become the first woman to play for an all-male professional baseball team. Readers everywhere will be inspired by her courage to dream and determination to succeed.

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'Catching the Moon' read by Kevin Costner and Jillian Estell

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If there was anything in the world better than playing baseball, Marcenia Lyle didn't know what it was. As a young girl in the 1930s, she chased down fly balls and stole bases, and dreamed of one day playing professional ball.

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A historic fiction story set in a bygone era in China about a girl’s wish to continue her education rather than get married. Her dream is fulfilled when her perseverance with her athome studies attracts her grandfather’s notice.

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Have students use mini personal whiteboards. Have each student in the small group create a T-chart on their whiteboard with “male” and “female” on each side. Have students list at least 5 male characters and 5 female characters from the shows and movies you enjoy. Next, identify the profession each one portrays in a particular show or movie. Have the students each share their characters. Then have students answer these questions with their small group:

1. Is there a character in a TV show or movie who has inspired you to want to pursue a certain career?
2. Is there one that makes you want to avoid a certain career? Explain why.
3. Are men and women portrayed accurately and fairly in your career choice in TV shows and movies? Explain why or why not.

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Teachers do so much more than just teach academics. They build a sense of community within their classrooms, creating a home away from home where they make their students feel safe, included, and loved. This is a book that will help build and strengthen classroom community.

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Teachers do so much more than just teach academics. They build a sense of community within their classrooms, creating a home away from home where they make their students feel safe, included, and loved.

With its heartfelt message and colorfully whimsical illustrations, "Our Class is a Family" is a book that will help build and strengthen that class community. Kids learn that their classroom is a place where it's safe to be themselves, it's okay to make mistakes, and it's important to be a friend to others. When hearing this story being read aloud by their teacher, students are sure to feel like they are part of a special family.

And currently, during such an unprecedented time when many teachers and students are not physically in the classroom due to COVID-19 school closures, it's more important than it's ever been to give kids the message that their class is a family. Even at a distance, they still stick together.

"Family isn't always your relatives. It's the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones who would do anything to see you smile, and who love you no matter what." -Unknown

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juvenile nonfiction / school & education

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juvenile nonfiction / family / alternative family

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juvenile nonfiction / school & education

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Our Class is a Family [Olsen, Shannon, Sonke, Sandie] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Our Class is a Family

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Activity: Small Group Discussion & Writing

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Activity: Small Group Discussion & Writing

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Have students come together in small groups and create a poster board together. They are to come up with ways to make their peers and friends feel included, safe and loved in and out of the classroom. What does that look like? What are some ways we can include people who are different than us? How can we ask questions that are respectful?

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Activity: Whole Class Discussion & Prezi

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Activity: Whole Class Discussion & Prezi

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After students meet with their small groups, have them share what they came up with on their posters. Have each group share their posters with the class and pick highlights from each one (Some may be repeats) and create a Prezi with the class, if resources allow a teacher to do so.

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How to Teach Children about Gender Equality

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How to Teach Children about Gender Equality

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"Children between the ages of 2 and 6 learn stereotypes about toys, skills and activities that are typically associated with each gender, according to the analysis of more than 150 articles, interviews, books and other research. Kids between the ages of 7 and 10 start to attribute certain qualities to women and men, such as that men are aggressive and women are emotional."

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How to teach children about gender equality | CNN

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Parents and teachers should poke holes in gender stereotypes any chance they get and teach kids that boys and girls are more alike than different, experts say.

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Handout with 4 parts for the students to write in to help reflect on instances of bullying. Each part is labeled as follows: “Names I’ve been called” “Names I’ve called others” “Time when I was treated unfairly” and “Time when I was unfair to others” This is an independent activity. The students do not need to write anything, they can simply reflect if they do not feel comfortable writing anything down.

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Four Ways to Teach Gender Equity in your Classroom 

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Four Ways to Teach Gender Equity in your Classroom 

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A blog post about teaching gender equality in the classroom. Jarah Botello talks about choosing culturally responsive texts and selections that require you to know your reader(s) and consider their experiences, motivations and knowledge. As well as texts/voices that are windows and mirrors.
Participate Learning, formerly VIF, empowers educators to ignite change and inspire students. With more than 30 years of experience developing school programs and facilitating cultural exchange, Participate Learning is a leader in globally focused education.

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Global Education, Teaching Resources

When teaching gender equity, we typically focus on the injustices women have faced throughout history and today. And we should! From the glass ceiling, to the lack of educational opportunities for women around the world and the gender pay gap, there are (unfortunately) a plethora of topics to choose from. But as we focus on justice it is also important that we examine gender equity through other domains of social justice education.

Teaching Tolerance's Social Justice Standards are based on the work of Louis Derman-Sparks' four goals for anti-bias education. Divided into four domains-Identity, Diversity, Justice and Action (IDJA)-the Standards recognize that, in today's diverse classrooms, students need knowledge and skills to reduce prejudice and recognize and act against injustice. While it's important to teach about injustice toward women, it is also important to acknowledge gender equity as it relates to identity, diversity and action.

In doing so, the narrative of gender equity becomes multi-dimensional, and students can understand how gender equity relates to their multiple social identities (identity) and different groups in society (diversity). They can also begin to make plans for what they can do to stand against the injustices women and gender-nonconforming people face (action).

In addition to teaching lessons that address the multiple social justice domains, here are a few tips for teaching about gender equity.

Examine and confront your own gender biases

Before you teach gender equity, be sure to examine and begin to confront your own biases. For example:

Do you naturally favor the boys or girls in your classroom?

Are you comfortable with transgender and gender-nonconforming students?

The Harvard Implicit Bias website has two assessments to evaluate biases about gender. Take a test and check your bias. Confront your biases by following gender equity activists on social media and reading texts and watching videos that unpack gender equity issues from a variety of perspectives.

Remember that gender is non-binary

Understanding that gender is a spectrum and teaching it as such has lasting effects. It not only supports students who don't conform to narrow gender norms, it also helps them, and educators, see more nuance across a wide range of subjects. Read up on the gender spectrum and be sure your lessons make room for all students on the spectrum.

Address intersectionality

When teaching about gender equity, you might find yourself focusing on certain aspects of gender equity (employment rates, unequal pay, etc.) without acknowledging the ways multiple systems of power impact women of color, women with disabilities, undocumented women, etc. Learn more about intersectionality here, here and here.

Choose texts/voices that are windows and mirrors

Culturally responsive text selection requires that you know your reader(s) and consider their experiences, motivations and knowledge. These considerations relate to the discursive background of your readers. When choosing texts to teach about gender equity, ask yourself: for whom could this text be a mirror, a reflection of identity and experience? For whom could this text be a window into the identities and experiences of others? Search the "gender and sexual identity" topic in the Teaching Tolerance Perspective Text Library for a list of diverse voices. Also, our Reading Diversity tool is a great way to analyze texts for diversity of voice.

Applying these social justice practices into your teaching about gender equity should make your lessons even more equitable for everyone!

Getting started with teaching gender equity

Here are a few Teaching Tolerance lessons that can help incorporate multiple social justice standards into your gender equity teaching.
K-5 lessons Exploring Gender Stereotypes in Stories (K-5) Social Justice domains: Identity and Justice
In this lesson, elementary students practice critical literacy skills around themes of gender identity and stereotypes. Children look at one or more picture books that counter gender stereotypes, and after a discussion of the book, engage in a creative writing activity geared at fostering individual identity and resisting social definitions of what and how a boy or girl "should" be.

Exploring Gender Stereotypes Through Role Plays (K-2) / Role Plays to Reduce Gender Stereotypes (3-5)

Social Justice domain: Action

These lessons offer role plays and essential questions to guide students as they participate. Children have a chance to use creative, dramatic expression to consider not only the roots of gender stereotypes, but also their consequences and strategies for counteracting them.
6-12 Lessons Maya Angelou (6-12) Social Justice domain: Identity and Action
This lesson focuses on questions of identity as students read and analyze Angelou's inspirational poem "Still I Rise" and apply its message to their own lives. Students learn how Maya Angelou overcame hardship and discrimination to find her own voice and to influence others to believe in themselves and use their voices for positive change.
The Importance of Female Voices (6-12) Social Justice domain: Diversity
This lesson examines the gender discrepancy among Wikipedia contributors. Students create their own class wiki in order to discover why, despite Wikipedia's policy of openness, girls and women comprise only 13 percent of Wikipedia contributors.
Challenging Gender Stereotyping and Homophobia in Sports (6-12) Social Justice domain: Action
In this lesson, students identify qualities they associate with male and female athletes and the attitudes they have about gender, sexual orientation and athletics. They will also make a plan for how to debunk stereotypes about gender and sexual orientation at school.
In honor of Women's History Month, Participate is sharing resources about Sustainable Development Goal 5: Gender Equality during the month of March. For more resources to teach gender equity, sign up for Participate's free course, Transform Our World: Gender Equality. Jarah Botello brings more than 14 years of education experience to her role as a teaching and learning specialist for Teaching Tolerance. Botello loves all things creative and enjoys serving and encouraging other educators. Follow her on Twitter @JarahB_TT.
Participate Learning, formerly VIF, empowers educators to ignite change and inspire students. With more than 30 years of experience developing school programs and facilitating cultural exchange, Participate Learning is a leader in globally focused education.

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4 Ways to Teach Gender Equity in your Classroom | Blog | Participate

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Global Education, Teaching Resources When teaching gender equity, we typically focus on the injustices women have faced throughout history and today. And we should! From the glass ceiling, to the lack of educational opportunities for women around the world and the gender pay gap, there are (unfortunately) a plethora of topics to choose from.

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All I Want To Be Is Me by Phyllis Rothblatt 

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All I Want To Be Is Me by Phyllis Rothblatt 

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The book gives voice to the feelings of children who don't fit into narrow gender stereotypes, and who just want to be free to be themselves. "All I Want To Be Is Me" offers a wonderful way for all children to learn about gender diversity, embracing different ways to be, and being a true friend.

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juvenile fiction / family / alternative family

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juvenile fiction / family / alternative family

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All I Want To Be Is Me [Rothblatt MFT, Phyllis, Rothblatt MFT, Phyllis] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. All I Want To Be Is Me

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It is okay for boys to not fit the norm. This little boy Jonathan is frustrated that he isn’t strong enough to help his father with his beekeeping duties, but he finds other ways to help his family when a drought hits and they struggle to make ends meet. He uses his artistic talents to sculpt beautiful beeswax candles, which are a hit at the market.

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when the bees fly home (tilbury house nature book)

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juvenile fiction / science & nature / general

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juvenile fiction / social themes / self-esteem & self-reliance

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juvenile fiction/science & nature - general

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juvenile fiction/social themes - self-esteem & self-reliance

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social themes - self-esteem & self-reliance

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juvenile fiction / science & nature / general

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juvenile fiction / social themes / self-esteem & self-reliance

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juvenile fiction/science & nature - general

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juvenile fiction/social themes - self-esteem & self-reliance

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social themes - self-esteem & self-reliance

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When the Bees Fly Home (Tilbury House Nature Book)

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When the Bees Fly Home (Tilbury House Nature Book) [Cheng, Andrea, McFadden, Joline] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. When the Bees Fly Home (Tilbury House Nature Book)

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You Forgot Your Skirt, Amelia Bloomer by Shana Corey

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You Forgot Your Skirt, Amelia Bloomer by Shana Corey

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This is the true story of Amelia Bloomer, a rebellious reformer and early women's rights activist. Amelia wants to change the way women live and dress. They can’t work, vote, and have to wear such restricting clothing. So she invents the bloomers - baggy pantaloons worn with a short skirt over them.

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Amelia Bloomer is not a proper lady. She thinks proper ladies of the 19th century are silly. They're not allowed to vote, not supposed to work, and all that fuss about clothes! Ridiculously wide hoop skirts, yards and yards of hot petticoats, and cruelly tight corsets supported by whalebone or steel made women faint at the drop of the hat: "What was proper about that?" So Amelia, being so very improper, sets out to revolutionize the world for women.

Not only does she start her own newspaper and try to change the voting laws, she also popularizes a new fashion. This bold new garb shocks the proper ladies, but frees all others to move, digest, breathe, and think about something other than keeping from fainting (such as voting and working). Named for their best spokesperson, bloomers marked the start of a kinder, gentler approach to women's fashion--and women's rights.

Shana Corey's lightly humorous voice is perfect for this true story about the 19th-century women's rights activist. A note at the end provides horrifying and fascinating information about women's restrictive clothing (corsets sometimes displaced internal organs!) and the dress reform that Amelia Bloomer spearheaded. Chesley McLaren's breezy, exuberant illustrations charmingly reflect her background in fashion design and illustration. (Ages 5 to 8) --Emilie Coulter

Modern rebels meet a kindred spirit in Corey and McLaren's exuberant debut that introduces feminist pioneer Amelia Bloomer. "Amelia Bloomer was NOT a proper lady," trumpets the text, which tells how to recognize 19th-century women of propriety: "Their dresses were so long that... their skirts swept up all the mud and trash from the street. What was proper about that?" Amid graceful illustrations of ladies in overblown ruffles and breath-restricting corsets, Amelia appears in a practical navy blue dress, hatless. Amelia is especially impressed by suffragist Elizabeth Cady Stanton's cousin, Libby Miller, who has the good sense to wear a knee-length skirt over baggy, gathered pants. Amelia pronounces the outfit "Brilliant!" and publicizes it in the women's newspaper that she edits. Fans and foes alike name the new look after her. The title, styled as a taunt, implies Amelia's daring, and the conclusion links bloomers to body-baring "1920's swimwear" and groovy "60's bellbottoms." McLaren presents Amelia's fashion statement in gestural gouaches that imitate designers' sketches; the characters seem to float across the white pages. The artist's palette incorporates the strong violet, deep pink and yellow of aniline dyes, and a curvy typeface complements decorative curlicues in the images. In a breezy and delightfully chic manner, Corey and McLaren tell an inspiring tale of nonconformity. Ages 5-8. (Mar.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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You Forgot Your Skirt, Amelia Bloomer [Corey, Shana, Mclaren, Chesley] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. You Forgot Your Skirt, Amelia Bloomer

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How would you feel if you had to wear a skirt all the time?

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This is a New York Times bestselling picture book about pursuing a passion and learning to celebrate each failure. Rosie wants to become an engineer, even if her uncle laughs at the idea. So when her great-great-aunt, Rose, tells her she’s always wanted to fly, Rosie gets to work to make her aunt’s dream come true. Though her contraption crashes, her aunt explains why Rosie’s invention is not actually a failure.

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The beloved New York Times bestselling picture book about pursuing one's passion with persistence and learning to celebrate each failure on the road to achieving one's dreams. Don't miss Rosie's further adventures-with her friends Iggy Peck and Ada Twist-in the instant New York Times bestseller Rosie Revere and the Raucous Riveters, an all-new chapter book starring The Questioneers!
Rosie Revere dreamed of becoming a great engineer. Where some people see rubbish, Rosie sees inspiration. Alone in her room at night, shy Rosie constructs great inventions from odds and ends. Hot dog dispensers, helium pants, python-repelling cheese hats: Rosie's gizmos would astound-if she ever let anyone see them.

Afraid of failure, she hides them away under her bed. Until a fateful visit from her great-great-aunt Rose (AKA Rosie the Riveter!), who shows her that the first flop isn't something to fear-it's something to celebrate. And you can only truly fail, if you quit.

Collect them all! Add these other STEM favorites from #1 New York Times bestselling team Andrea Beaty and David Roberts to your family library today!

Ada Twist, Scientist
Iggy Peck, Architect
Rosie Revere and the Raucous Riveters
Ada Twist and the Perilous Pants
Ada Twist's Big Project Book for Stellar Scientists
Iggy Peck's Big Project Book for Amazing Architects
Rosie Revere's Big Project Book for Bold Engineers
Questioneers Family Calenda r
Praise for Rosie Revere, Engineer
- Publishers Weekly

"The detritus of Rosie's collections is fascinating, from broken dolls and stuffed animals to nails, tools, pencils, old lamps and possibly an erector set. And cheddar-cheese spray."
- Kirkus Reviews

"This celebration of creativity and perseverance is told through rhyming text, which gives momentum and steady pacing to a story, consistent with the celebration of its heroine, Rosie. She's an imaginative thinker who hides her light under a bushel (well, really, the bed) after being laughed at for one of her inventions."
- Booklist

2013 Parents' Choice Award - GOLD
2014 Amelia Bloomer Project List
ReadBoston's Best Read Aloud Book

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childrens books; juvenile fiction; kids lit; books for kids; stem; stem fields; career education; parents; parenting; stem activities; rhyming; engineer; engineering; andrea beaty; david roberts; illustrations; humor; humorous storied; ages 5 and up; picture books; determination; creativity; perseverance; fear of failure; achieving goals; school setting; growing up; life changes; family

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Rosie Revere, Engineer (Innovator Series)

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Rosie Revere, Engineer (Innovator Series) [Beaty, Andrea, Roberts, David, Jacobs, Rachel L.] on Amazon.com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Rosie Revere, Engineer (Innovator Series)

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Activity: Have Students Create and Share their Own Creations

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Activity: Have Students Create and Share their Own Creations

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After reading the story: When the Bee's Fly Home by Andrea Cheng I plan to have students make their own "candles" out of moldable wax sticks to let them process things in their own way. Students are free to make whatever they would like and take some time to be creative with their peers. See what students create and have students share what they made with the class.

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WikkiStix Neon Colors, Wax Sticks, 48 Per Pack

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Buy WikkiStix Neon Colors, Wax Sticks, 48 Per Pack: Art Sets - Amazon.com ✓ FREE DELIVERY possible on eligible purchases

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When Aidan Became a Brother by Lukoff, Kyle and Kaylani Juanita.  

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When Aidan Became a Brother by Lukoff, Kyle and Kaylani Juanita.  

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This transgender boy gets ready to be a big brother. The author of this story is also transgender. Aidan wants to ensure everything will be great for his younger sibling. Aidan knows that sometimes grown-ups can make mistakes, like when his parents thought he was a girl when he was born. He realizes throughout the story that mistakes can be fixed with open communication and acceptance.