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Leadership is a journey of self-discovery. It is not simply about power, titles and positions. Begin with understanding one’s self; recognising fears and insecurities but not to be governed blindly by those traits. It is perfectly all right to be vulnerable, to let one’s guard and armour down. Begin always with the assumption of positive intent; extend the most generous of interpretation to one’s intentions, words and actions - everyone is trying their best.

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Leading from who you are. Leadership to me is not about techniques but about taking courage to be vulnerable to lead from the inner man who is unafraid to be vulnerable, assumes positive intent of others, seeks to be clear to be kind, and cares for people for who they are as individuals made in God's image, not what they can do. If I want to be a good leader after God's heart, I ask not what is it in it for me, but where is God in this work situation and what is He is saying that matters in the grand scheme of things. Rachel

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Leading from who you are. Leadership to me is not about techniques but about taking courage to be vulnerable to lead from the inner man who is unafraid to be vulnerable, assumes positive intent of others, seeks to be clear to be kind, and cares for people for who they are as individuals made in God's image, not what they can do. If I want to be a good leader after God's heart, I ask not what is it in it for me, but where is God in this work situation and what is He is saying that matters in the grand scheme of things. Rachel

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We talked extensively over leadership and what it means - to be people-centred, to be vulnerable, to extend others the most generous interpretations, to create trust, to hold firm to our values and to be in touch with our feelings as we lead.
This journey through the book actually led me to revisit what the purpose of leadership is for me - i.e. Why do I want to be a leader? What drives or motivates me to be a leader? What kind of leader do I want to be?
As I reflect, I start to realise that these are questions that leaders should constantly ask themselves and revisit!  The key takeaway for me is that leadership is a journey and not a destination/title, and it is platforms and discussions that the Book Club that brings us further along our leadership journeys.

- Colin

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Like a croissant, leadership has different layers and goes beyond the surface (i.e., holding certain titles and having the power to make decisions). When we eat a croissant, there are different flavours that come together to make it delicious. Similarly, leadership encompasses our emotions, values and cognitive abilities and each of these will be brought to the fore in different situations. Above all, I learnt that it is alright to be vulnerable and nothing to be embarrassed about even if I make mistakes or do not get it right (like how I do not always bake a perfect croissant). -Cara

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After reading this book, the common notions of what it means to be a leader may not be accurate. The book tells us that leaders have the courage to be vulnerable since they understand that they may not have the map nor did they create the map. Good leaders extend the most generous interpretations to the actions of their colleagues and seek to understand and help whenever they can. They also understand that uncomfortable conversations are important. Finally, great leaders are those who empathise and are able to say “I see you. I hear you. But I may not have all the answers. Let’s keep looking together.” This brings me back to my image – The leader leads by example – he/she stands in front. He/she shows the way by example.
- Darren

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Learning with, learning from, and leading with others, require authenticity, integrity and vulnerability.
~ Florence

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As I make sense of what matters to me and start living in the way that reflects my beliefs and values, I gain a sense of conviction and purpose. To me, leadership means being genuine and true to myself.

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Comparing what I perceived leadership to be in my first session to how I now think about it after reading the book, it is worth being harmonious/humble and brave at the same time. Expressing vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but a strength in leading others and self. There is power in vulnerability to help me to be a more daring leader. Daniel

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What are your current understandings of leadership, compared to when we first started the book on 12 Jan?

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What are your current understandings of leadership, compared to when we first started the book on 12 Jan?

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Being honest to own our feelings and interpretations

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Being honest to own our feelings and interpretations

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I thought this section was really powerful as it encouraged us to take responsibility for the way we interpret things, and how we feel about them. It's also liberating because we can realise there's always another perspective to look at things and we don't need to feel so trapped/ helpless. I would like to grow in courage to share my SFDs more often, leaning into the trust that my family, friends and colleagues will be able to hear me out without being defensive, so we can look for solutions together. - Charmaine

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Today's book club taught me to be a 'Riser', to be in touch with my emotions and learn how to Reckon and Rumble with them, instead of stockpiling them or ignoring them. I think that it is important that as leaders, we are emotionally healthy or can find ways to process our emotions. It is only then that we can then speak to others about their emotions and lead/help them process.
Colin

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Today's session reminded me that we need to make time for open, honest conversations with people even though it is difficult to do. If we do not give ourselves the time and space to process the emotion(s), we will always be carrying this emotional baggage and this might get in the way of relationship or trust-building. To learn and better understand about the situation and other people in the story, we should clarify and seek to understand, then be understood. -Cara

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Out of the 3Rs (the Reckoning, the Rumble and the Revolution), the importance of the Joy and Meaning list under the Revolution resonated most with me. It is important for me to relook and redefine what success means to me in the second half of my life. I have to ask myself if taking something on moves me closer to what brings me joy and meaning. This alone is a revolutionary act. Knowing myself better this way is key to leadership.

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Daring leaders ask for SFDs. They create the time, space, and safety for people to reality-check their SFDs. (pg 260)

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Daring leaders ask for SFDs. They create the time, space, and safety for people to reality-check their SFDs. (pg 260)

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It requires more effort and time, but yes, do I DARE to seek SFDs? Do I know how to manage these SFDs when I receive them? Even more importantly:    Do my colleagues trust me enough to share their SFDs with me (and not tell me sanitised versions of their SFDs)? Do I trust them enough to share my SFD with them? - Selene

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I feel that to be an effective leader, we need to know ourselves first. In doing so, you will be able to better understand others and  extend the most generous interpretation to others and ourselves. Having this self-awareness is important. However, it is often easier said than done. It's almost like we need to say to ourselves - STOP, THINK, ACT. Hence, we need to be ever mindful of our thoughts so that we don't get misdirected by our SFDs.
-Darren

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Wobbly chair, stretcher and creased paper

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Wobbly chair, stretcher and creased paper

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Today's book club reminds me that trust is a 2-way relationship involving a decision to trust, and an object of that trust. In the workplace, decisions to trust are informed by the day-to-day actions and behaviours that are observed and/or perceived. Note to self: walk the talk and begin each day with the commitment to live up to my espoused values. ~Florence

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I realised that in order for us to build trusting relationships with others, it's important for us to be able to reliably count on ourselves to know our own boundaries, have the integrity to communicate these boundaries to others, and be reliable and accountable in keeping our promises to ourselves. Only then can we ourselves trust the commitments we make to others. - Charmaine

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Today's sharing and conversation is a really precious time of understanding one another in the team and examining the values that guide our words, thoughts, and behaviours. I appreciate the honesty and authenticity in these conversations and am really thankful to be working with such a great team! ~Florence

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Living into our values begins with being able to articulate them and doing it with a community helps us see and establish common universal human values that shape our understanding of what is good and of worth. Holding one another accountable to the values we espouse is the next step. We do it with kindness as fellow beings in a journey of learning what it is to be human. - Rachel

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I appreciated everyone's open sharing about their values, and feel more connected in the team. I feel like we can work better knowing what we each care about - this seemed like a build-on to our SDI conversations but at a much more personal level. It was also a timely reminder that our values need to be expressed in what we do - specific and observable behaviors. - Charmaine

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As an organisation, I hope that kindness can truly be one of the values that prevail and guide us in our thoughts, words and actions. To me being kind means, respecting and appreciating others for who and what they are, embracing their strengths and areas for improvement, treating them with compassion and empathy, validating them and preserving their dignity. Recognise that every single member is doing the best that they can. Assume positive intent and view people through the lens of kindness. - Intan

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We don’t shift our values based on context.

Today's session had us revisit our core values and I am reminded that these are the foundations of our words, actions and intents. They do not waver despite the situation and instead, guide us in our response to different and perhaps challenging situations. I am grateful to hear from everyone and I believe that when we are clear about what guides us, what we do and how we do what we do will have a positive impact on those we lead. - Colin

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Kindness should be the guiding light for the organisation. Beginning with kindness, it guides all our intentions, thoughts and actions.
At the same time, we begin to extend the most generous interpretations to the intentions, thoughts and actions of others. - Darren

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Clear is Kind - this is good, but how to do it?

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Clear is Kind - this is good, but how to do it?

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To be clear requires strict discipline with words, and this is challenging for EL people! How to be clear AND kind at the same time takes wisdom and a healthy risk appetite. Going back to read Part One on 'Rumbling with Vulnerability' - to "embrace the suck" and how we respond to the feeling of fear in us. - Selene

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From our reflections, I can tell that each team member is deeply rooted in his/ her own values and this shows in the daily work and interactions. Embracing and reflecting on our values allow us to stay true to ourselves so I really appreciate what we've done this session. - Eunice

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It is apparent from today's session that the team members value clarity and authenticity as well as openness in communication.
Trust is key as we continue  to cultivate psychological safety within the team and lean into each other so that we can strive for excellence.

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Today's rumbling session has given me a glimpse of who my team mates are and understand their perspectives. I think it will go a long way to us being a stronger and more cohesive team. (norming => performing) ~Florence

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Vulnerability is not weakness, but the "emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure" (pg 19). How I act when I'm feeling vulnerable is so important because as Brene Brown says: "You can do vulnerability, or it can do you" (pg 24). So instead of picking up armour pieces, pick up skills to rumble and recover.

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Practicing gratitude and celebrating milestones and victories (pg 83)

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Practicing gratitude and celebrating milestones and victories (pg 83)

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'...When everyone shares one thing they are grateful for, [it] can build trust and connection, ... and give your group permission to lean into joy.' -Cara

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Daring to lead is about leading people with a deep awareness that each one of us is built in the image of God.

Building shame resilience (p. 136) acknowledges that shame is a human emotion and working through the experience with empathy for self and others.

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Vulnerability is putting yourself out there - being involved in not just the work, but also in the emotions and feelings of yourself and others.
It requires both a candour and a frankness towards how we approach the work, and a willingness to confront these truths and feelings.
From a leadership perspective, I appreciate the reminder to be authentic and honest with the team members, and having tools like 'permission slips' and 'container building' can help to get others on board as well.

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p32 Trust is earned in the smallest of moments.

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p32 Trust is earned in the smallest of moments.

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Reminder to self: Remember the human connection always, before the work. Try to see what people need and address that before barrelling on with the work.

Keep working on being honest/ vulnerable, within boundaries.

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Enjoyed the session in cultivating trust

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Enjoyed the session in cultivating trust