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When his sister steps to the Crystal Ball, her talent starts off as Fitness and becomes Superhuman Athleticism.

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Today, write anything you notice about the sentence in terms of grammar and language. Be sure to include your name!

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Today you will imitate the sentence, following the structure but changing the meaning.
Mrs. Hawkins' example: When her students step into the classroom, their knowledge starts off as that of a 4th grader and becomes that of a 5th grader.

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Today, we will revise our sentence. How can you improve it and make it stronger?
Mrs. Hawkins' example: When her new students saunter into the bright classroom, their knowledge begins as that of a 4th grader and evolves to become that of a 5th grader.

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Write down what you notice is different about each sentence, and how it changes the meaning of the sentence.
1) when his sister steps to the crystal ball, her talent starts off as fitness and becomes superhuman athleticism
2) When his sister steps to the Crystal Ball her talent starts off as Fitness and, becomes Superhuman Athleticism.
3) When his sister stepped to the Crystal Ball, her talent started off as Fitness and becomes Superhuman Athleticism.

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starts with a capital.
1 comma
fitness is capitalized
superhuman athleticism is capitalized
crystal is capitalized
1 period

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I notice that the sentence starts with AWUBIS, so there is a comma. I also notice that Fitness and Superhuman Athleticism are upper-cased. The Crystal Ball is also capitalized. They are capitalized because the talents are specific things and the Crystal Ball is the name of a specific object.

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When his sister steps to the Crystal Ball, her talent starts off as Fitness and becomes Superhuman Athleticism.

111 characters

I notice "When.","Crystal Ball.", "Fitness.", and  "Superhuman Athleticism," are capitalized.

It also has a comma because "When a sentence starts with AW WOOBUS," "I'll probably need a comma.".

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I notice that the sentence is a complex sentence with a comma. I also notice that it has all the correct sentence needs. For example a capital at the start and a period at the end. It also has the F in Fitness capitalized.

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there is 1 comma
one period
starts with capital

like my post

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I notice that...
1. The sentence ends with a period.
2. The sentence is a complex sentence.
3. The sentence starts with a capital letter.
4.  There is a comment after ball
5. Superhuman, Athleticism, Crystal, and Ball are all capitalized.

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1) When starts with a capital letter
2) after ball there is a coma
3) there is a period at the end of the sentes
4) 6 capital letters

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I notice that this sentence has a comma. I also noticed that some of the nouns in this sentence are capitalized.

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-Commas
-Capital Letters
-Periods
-Nouns
-Fitness Capitalized
-Superhuman Athleticism Capitalized
-Crystal Capitalized
-

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1 comma
6 cap letters
1 period
1 conjuncy
1 comma auwbis (pog)

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I noticed that the F in Fitness is capitalized and the S in Superhuman is also capitalized and the A in Athleticism is also capitalized. And also that the C in Crystal is capitalized and the B in ball is also capitalized.

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the crystal ball is capitalized

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When his sister steps to the Crystal Ball, her talent starts off as Fitness and becomes Superhuman Athleticism. /(>^<)/

-Comma
- Capital letter at the beginning.
- period at the end
- Fitness, Crystal Ball and Superhuman Athleticism is capitalized.
/ ( ^v^ ) /

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starts with a capital.
1 comma
fitness is capitalized
P.S... Katelyn is annoying

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I notice that there is a comma to add on to the sentence, and to make it AWUBIS I also notice that Crystal, Ball, Fitness, Superhuman and Athleticism are upper case.

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Its starts with a capital and has a comma in it. also Superhuman Athleticism is capititlized. There is 18 words also.

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There's a comma.
There's 6 words capitalized
There's a period
The sentence starts with a capitalized word
It's a complex sentence
-There's 3 verbs (steps, starts, becomes)
-There's 3 nouns (Crystal Ball, sister, Superhuman Athleticism)

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starts with a capital, ends with a period,has a comma

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-Starts with a capital letter
-Ends with a period.
-One comma
-6 capital letters.
-18 words
-Nouns

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I notice that the sentence has a comma and that some of the words are capitalized.

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Starts with a capital, ends with a

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- starts with ,
- starts wen need a ,
- 6 capital letters

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The sentence starts off with what is happening, saying what there doing and who is doing it. Then the sentence plunges into further detail with the specifics of what is happening within the broader scheme of what is happening. There is one comma, five capitalized words, ends with a period, has eighteen words, and it is a complex sentence.

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a in athleticism is capital same with superhuman 18 words comma after ball

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When his sister steps into the crystal ball, her talent

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6 cap letters
comma, period and conjunction.

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When the pitch is through to me, I hit it out of the of the ballpark.

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when maggie scores a goal, the team gets excited.

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When her brother steps to the painting, his amusement starts off as calm and becomes excited.

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When a caterpillar comes into existence, it eats a lot then becomes a butterfly.

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Maggie and Lyla's obsession with diego grows stronger each day, starting as a deep admiration and became the kind of love that consists of killing wives and getting married to diego.

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When i play with my tennis ball, it usually turns into me making a lot of noise.

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When diego falls, he gets back up again because he is a mighty warrior.

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When charm goes to Nuget, she she goes even more crazy than a wild monkey.

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When I demolish people in video games, I'm a cheetah then I destroy them.

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When I play baseball, I catch everything and become the Best Baseball Player Ever

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When I play Fortnite, I dominate my opponents everytime.
When he hops onto Fortnite, he easily dominates through the lobby.

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When my friend plays video games, he gets better and becomes a pro.

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When the Diego's fall, the diegets fall with them.

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When his brother kicks the ball into the goal, his team becomes the one in the lead.

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When I terrorise my wallet in Valorant my vandal goes from default to reaver.

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When i draw a picture i get better drawing inside the lines

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When i play video games, i start off as a bot to a pro :0

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When I play video games they become cowardly in fear i'm so good :D

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When

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When I beat the final boss, I feel very accomplished.

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when i steal Oreos they become my snack :>
EhEhEhEhEhEhEhE
/ ( ^v^)/

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when i miss a fly ball, i get yelled at and go play left bench

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When i play volyball, i get better at hitting the ball strate and get the point and WIN THE GAME

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when i get mad i go to the potty seat and suck on waffes

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when katelyn calls me short, i get mad.

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Danny, formally known as DAN with an E (or DAN-E)

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Danny, formally known as DAN with an E (or DAN-E)

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When the baseball is pitched, the batter named Mickey Joe walks off and goes into the position of left bench.

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When I snag every ball the baseball game, I become the unrivaled player in the stadium.

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When the ball is pitched to me, I hit it and it becomes a flying bird soring out of the ballpark.

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When I demolish people in video games i become a wild cheetah eating prey.

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When her brother approaches the beautiful painting, his delight starts of as placid and becomes ecstatic.

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When diego falls, he proudly gets back up again and becomes a mighty warrior.

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When charm goes to Nuget, she becomes even more crazy than a wild monkey.

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After I miss the the popup, my starting position becomes left bench.

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Danny, formally known as DAN with an E (or DAN-E)

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Danny, formally known as DAN with an E (or DAN-E)

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When the stunning knuckle slurve is pitched and the strike out is called, the batter named Mickey Joe walks off the field and enhances the amazing position of left bench.

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we will rule the world and make humans build parts and bake donuts

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When I Professionally hit the final blow on the levels boss, I feel like my life goals have been accomplished.

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When Maggie scores, the team becomes unbeatable.

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When the mighty warrior Diego falls, the fearless Diegets fall down with Diego and becomes a god.

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In the time period  I terrorise my wallet in valorant my vandal goes from a default to a superb reaver.
sheeeeeeeesh

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When i beat a the very hard level, i was so happy that i could make coffee worried.

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When a caterpillar hatches from its egg, it consumes as much as a leaf per day before transforming into a butterfly.

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When I steal oreos, they become my snack and I chomp em while being chased by a golem that I made to get me oreos.
:>

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Old:
When his brother kicks the ball into the goal, his team becomes the one in the lead.
New:
When his brother kicks the soccer ball into the goal with high speed, his team starts off losing and then becomes the one winning.

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When I watch my hit the toy ball back and fourth it looks like he is playing soccer.

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When I get home, the first thing I'm going to do is wash the dishes, followed by vacuuming the hallway.

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hi

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When I play with my tennis ball, its starts quiet and becomes me making a lot of noise.

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when i get furious i go to the potty seat and become a sucking on waffles kind of person

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do not like anyone but me I am mad STOP LIKING OTHER PEOPLE

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When Katelyn irritates me, i get horribly mad.

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Maggie and Lyla's obsession with diego grows stronger each day, starting as a deep admiration and became the kind of love that consists of  killing wives and getting married to diego.