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The oxytocin hormone is fundamental during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus of the brain and is released into the bloodstream via the pituitary gland. Oxytocin is known as the "hormone of love" because of its involvement in lovemaking, fertility, surges during labour and breastfeeding. The oxytocin hormone triggers the release of natural endorphins and is responsible for uterine surges in labour to soften, thin and open the cervix. After birth, women have the highest levels of oxytocin experienced in their lifetime! This increase promotes the movement of milk through the ducts when breastfeeding and fosters the bonding relationship between parent and baby by encouraging instinctual behaviours. Oxytocin produces mild uterine surges after birth to expel the placenta and constricts blood vessels to reduce postpartum bleeding.

Oxytocin is activated in the brain of birth partners in lower quantities when providing support in labour. The oxytocin hormone triggers nurturing behaviours and is associated with feelings of contentment, trust, and empathy by lowering anxiety, stress, and fear. When a labouring mother feels concerned, disturbed, scared, insecure or threatened, the body increases the release of adrenaline which in turn inhibits the flow of oxytocin and endorphins.

There are many ways birth partners can naturally encourage oxytocin production:

Caring nurturing touch and massage

Intimacy and sharing feelings of love

Nipple simulation

A calming environment with dim lighting

Self-hypnosis and breathing awareness

Laughter, kissing and humour

Gentle exercise, dancing, rhythmic movement, and music

Repetitive use of mantras, prayer or sounds

Meditation, affirmations, and visualisation

As the production of oxytocin is connected to our emotions, a labouring mother and birth partner must feel calm, secure, and uninhibited within the birthing environment. The birth partner's role involves advocating, protecting, and promoting the release of this amazing hormone. Continued interaction, support and encouragement is a necessity.

Remember... it is no coincidence that the onset of labour often occurs at night in a calm, comforting and familiar environment when at complete rest with no lighting!

Let the oxytocin flow in abundance.

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The oxytocin hormone is fundamental during pregnancy, birth, and the postpartum period. Oxytocin is produced in the hypothalamus of the brain and is released into the bloodstream via the pituitary gland. Oxytocin is known as the "hormone of love" because of its involvement in lovemaking, fertility, surges during labour and breastfeeding.

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- the complete resource for fathers to be -

Birthing4Blokes supports you to be the very best that you can be
on the day that she gives birth to your baby.

To give you an opportunity to experience the quality of our content and start experiencing real life benefits, we provide a Freemium Membership where you get access to premium quality content for free, like 3 e-books that answer the top 3 questions expectant fathers ask Mark, the first module of our Premium Online Course and much more!

Click the button below to sign up right now!

The confidence to understand her needs and calls for help!

My main worries were: "Could I be the person my partner needed when she needs it?" and "How will I cope with her changing moods?". I didn't understand the changes she was feeling both physically and mentally. How was I going to cope with the run up to labour and the birthing process?

The Online Course actually gave me an insight into how women think and how my actions can help stimulate oxytocin and the positive effects of doing that.

Working through the program gave me the confidence to understand her needs more fully and the ability to hear what were calls for help when she felt alone. I became more able to help her know that I was going to be the person she needed when it came to the labour and birth of our baby.

I realised that I could be an incredibly positive influence in supporting her, as she went into the natural state she felt she need to be in for giving birth. She seemed to grow in faith and trust that she was in a safe place and that her needs were being met.

My belief and self confidence have gone through the roof.

Marks program and book is helping our ongoing relationship as well, I now have a better understanding regarding the 'natural dance' of relationships. It is helping me to be a better partner and father. Learning these things is still impacting our relationship, she seems more secure and often says she feels loved and valued by me, the growing bond with our baby is being deeply benefited.

I have really valued the program and will promote it amongst my friends both female and male.

Thanks Mark, you're a hero!

Copyright 2017 by Birthing4Blokes.

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Birthing4Blokes - Birth & Fatherhood for Men, by Men

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the complete resource for fathers to be - Birthing4Blokes supports you to be the very best that you can be on the day that she gives birth to your baby.

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How to be truly present while your partner gives birth

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How to be truly present while your partner gives birth

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Here are some ideas for partners to practice during the weeks leading up to the birth. Just choose one a week to practice.

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Tips for Birth Partners
Top tips for birth partners form Mark Harris

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Mark Harris Gets racy!!! Birth partner tips by Male Midwife

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Mark Harris shares some tips for birth partners. The male midwife taking the UK by storm with his excellent book Men, Love & Birth, (the number one most recommended birth book for men) talks to Charlotte the Magpie Mama about how to connect with the woman who are supporting pregnant and birthing women.

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A guide containing illustrations to help birth partners use acupressure points successfully

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Here is a video showing why delayed cord clamping is so important

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Here is a video showing why delayed cord clamping is so important

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Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.

To find a doula in your area you can search our comprehensive directory of Doula UK doula members here.

Doulas do not advise, but provide informational support to enable you to make informed decisions about your maternity care. Doulas support different kinds of births and different parenting choices. They do not take a clinical role but work alongside midwives and doctors.

Birth doulas provide continuous support through pregnancy, labour and birth and the immediate postnatal time. Postnatal doulas provide flexible practical and emotional support postnatally for families in their own homes. Some doulas work as both birth and postnatal doulas, while others work only as birth doulas or postnatal doulas. Find out more below.

Our Doula UK directory of doulas enables you to contact a few doulas in your area. Doulas usually meet with potential clients before being booked. Help with hiring a doula.

Birth doulas

Birth doulas support women, birthing people and families who are planning all kinds of birth, from planned caesarean birth or early epidural to home water birth.

Antenatally, a birth doula will usually meet with the client at least twice, and be available for phone or email support as questions or concerns arise. They will have the opportunity to talk over any concerns, work out their birth preferences and get to know their doula.

A birth doula will then go 'on call' towards the end of pregnancy (typically around 38 weeks) and will then be available 24/7. The doula will then go to their client(s) when they ask during labour, typically before they transfer to a place of birth (if planning a hospital or birth centre birth) or the midwives arrive (with a home birth).

During Labour a doula provides emotional, practical and informational support to their client(s), adapting to what is needed. The doula is able to offer help and suggestions on comfort measures such as breathing, relaxation, movement and positioning. If applicable, the doula can also encourage the partner to participate in the birth to a level at which they feel comfortable. The doula's most important role is to provide nurturing, continuous support and reassurance.

The doula will then stay with their client(s) until after baby is born and the new family are settled and happy.

Birth doulas do at least one postnatal visit with their client(s), to support them as they settle in life with a new baby, help with infant feeding as needed and allow them an opportunity to talk over the birth.

Postnatal doulas

Postnatal doulas typically start working with with a family in the first few months after birth, but some doulas do work with families with older babies too. Sometimes postnatal doulas are booked antenatally, sometimes only when a family find they are struggling or feel the need for more support. The length of time a postnatal doula spends with a family varies enormously from the initial 6-8 weeks, to years!

Just as when supporting birth clients, postnatally doulas provide emotional, practical and informational support.

The actual tasks in the practical support postnatal doulas provide varies enormously, and one of the big benefits of having a postnatal doula is that they are there to support the family, not carry out a specific task, so they do what is needed (within reason!). This can be help around the house, looking after baby while mum (and her partner) nap, helping with older siblings, making meals, helping with dinner time or the school run, helping overnight so the parents get more sleep...even walking dogs or wrapping Christmas presents. Whatever is needed to help a family relax and have a positive experience of life with a baby.

Unlike a maternity nurse, a doula is not there to take care of the baby for you. Instead, a postnatal doula supports you to be the parent you want to be.

If you choose to breastfeed, then a doula can support you with this and research shows that having a Doula UK postnatal doula means breastfeeding is more likely to be successfully established.

Postnatal doulas also provide emotional support for mothers and couples. Parents these days can feel overwhelmed by differing advice offered. A postnatal doula gives new parents the opportunity to talk things through, and just chat, knowing that they will not be dismissed or told what to do. Talking over the birth is a usual part of this, but postnatal doulas can also be there to support parents through concerns about siblings, feeding, going back to work, weaning, sleep - and what granny said she did in her day.
Now find out why you want to choose a Doula UK doula... Or find a doula near you

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Doulas support in pregnancy, birth and in the postnatal period by providing information, advocacy, and offering practical and emotional support to the whole family.To find a doula in your area you can search our comprehensive directory of Doula UK doula members here. Find A Doula

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Some great ideas about how to support your partner during the birth to make an informed choice

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Giving birth is exciting, but not always straightforward. Your partner needs you there to help if decisions have to be made. Read on for some tips on how to make the right ones.

Will we be able to stick to our birth plan?

Labour and birth often don't go as expected. Try not to worry if you can't follow your birth plan exactly.

Perhaps the birth pool your partner has set her heart on is in use. Or maybe she ends up having an epidural when she thought she could manage with gas and air. Ultimately, what counts is that she and the new baby are happy and healthy.

Sometimes complications do arise and your medical team will have suggestions about how to proceed (NCCWCH 2007). It can be difficult to keep a level head when the pressure is on, especially when the wellbeing of your partner and baby are at stake.

Some people worry about being assertive or involving themselves in decision making. It's fine to make your views known, and helpful for your medical team.

Different healthcare professionals have different approaches. You and your partner have knowledge that they lack. After all, you know your partner best, and she knows better than anyone how she feels!

Usually, everyone wants the same result, but may have different ways of getting there. There are rarely absolute rights and wrongs.

What say do I have if there is an emergency?

When making a decision it is important that you have been given the information you need. You'll need time to take in the information and be sure that you understand it. Your medical team should involve and support you in making decisions (NCCWCH 2007), but sometimes it seems as if there is no time for discussion.

In this situation it can be helpful to ask: "Is this an emergency or do we have time to talk?" Another way to find out if the situation is urgent is to ask: "Is my partner OK? Is the baby OK?"

This will help you find out if the concerns are directly about your partner and baby or about something else, such as hospital policy or guidelines.

Decision making should be a team effort, although you and your partner have the final say (NCCWCH 2007). If this feels like a lot of responsibility, do tell your medical team. It is fine to acknowledge that you are upset or frightened. Being honest will help them support you and your partner.

How do I get the information I need?

There is a simple, easy-to-remember tool to help you make sound, informed decisions in even the most complicated situations. It is called Brain, which stands for:

Following the five Brain steps will help you get the right information, weigh up the pros and cons, and, finally, lead you to a decision you can be satisfied with.

Benefits: what are the benefits of this procedure?

First, make sure you understand what your medical team is proposing and why. Perhaps your partner is a week overdue and they are considering artificially starting labour?

Your midwife should explain that inducing labour reduces the tiny but slightly increased risk that you may lose your baby as the days tick by (NCCWCH 2008a, b). Your partner may also be fed up with pregnancy and welcome the chance to get on with having her baby (NCCWCH 2008b).

Risks: what are the risks of this procedure?

Most medical procedures have risks as well as benefits and you need to know what they are. For example, some methods of inducing labour (such as a membrane sweep) are uncomfortable (NCCWCH 2008b). Other methods, such as using synthetic hormones, may make contractions more severe and painful (NCCWCH 2007, NCCWCH 2008b).

There is also no guarantee these methods will work first time. They may have to be repeated. Also, despite being induced, your partner may still give birth to your baby by caesarean section.

You may also need to weigh up the pros and cons of an assisted birth. If your partner is becoming exhausted, your medical team may suggest using instruments such as forceps or ventouse to help your baby be born.

Both increase the likelihood of your partner suffering soreness and bruising afterwards (RCOG 2011). Your baby too may also have slight bruising on his face (RCOG 2011). However, bruises fade and serious injury to babies from forceps or ventouse is rare (RCOG 2011).

Alternatives: is there a choice of obstetric procedures?

Like everyone, midwives have their favourite ways of doing things, but these are rarely the only ways. If your baby is overdue, ask about the various methods of inducing labour, from a membrane sweep to synthetic hormones.

You may want to try an old-fashioned spicy curry followed by some gentle sex. But be warned. There's not much evidence of either of these working (Schaffir 2006, Tan et al 2006, 2007).

Similarly, when considering a caesarean section your partner may be offered the chance to try an assisted birth with a ventouse and an episiotomy first. If the assisted delivery doesn't work you have the back-up of a caesarean section. Although going through both could leave your partner feeling battered and bruised.

Instinct: what does your instinct tell you?

Pay attention to what your instincts are telling you. After all, you know your partner better than anyone else in the room. If you feel she is, for example, able to cope with the pushing stage for longer, then you should support her if she turns down an assisted birth.

But if you feel she is refusing forceps or ventouse simply because she always imagined having a totally natural birth then you should say so - tactfully!

Nothing: what happens if we do nothing?

Doing nothing can sometimes be justified. For example, if your baby is overdue, you and your partner may decide to wait a few days to see if nature will eventually take its course. The risk to your baby does rise, but only slightly. At 37 weeks of pregnancy, one in 3,000 babies is stillborn. This rises to four in 3,000 at 42 weeks (NCCWCH 2008a,b)

Doing nothing is rarely an option in a medical emergency. However, it is still worth asking your medical team "what happens if we do nothing?" as the answer may help to clarify your thoughts.

References

NCCWCH. 2007. Intrapartum care: care of healthy women and their babies during childbirth. National Collaborating Centre for Women's and Children's Health. London: RCOG Press. www.nice.org.uk [pdf fie, accessed July 2011]

NCCWCH. 2008a. Antenatal care: routine care for the healthy pregnant woman. National Collaborating Centre for Women's and Children's Health, Clinical guideline. London: RCOG Press. www.nice.org.uk [pdf file, accessed July 2011]

NCCWCH. 2008b. Induction of labour. Clinical Guideline. National Collaborating Centre for Women's and Children's Health. London: RCOG Press. www.nice.org.uk [pdf file, accessed July 2011]

RCOG. 2011. Operative vaginal delivery. Royal College of Obstetricians and Gynaecologists. Green-Top Guideline, 26. London: RCOG press. www.rcog.org.uk [pdf file, accessed July 2011]

Schaffir J. 2006. Sexual intercourse at term and onset of labor. Obstet Gynecol. 107(6):1310-4. www.greenjournal.org [Accessed July 2011]

Tan PC, Andi A, Azmi N, et al. 2006. Effect of coitus at term on length of gestation, induction of labor, and mode of delivery. Obstet Gynecol 108(1):134-40

Tan PC, Yow CM, Omar SZ. 2007. Effect of coital activity on onset of labor in women scheduled for labor induction: a randomized controlled trial. Obstet Gynecol 110(4):820-6

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Giving birth is exciting, but not always straightforward. Your partner needs you there to help if decisions have to be made. Read on for some tips on how to make the right ones. Labour and birth often don't go as expected. Try not to worry if you can't follow your birth plan exactly.