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How much do you understand about Social Media?

If your daughter is using any Social Media apps, we do recommend finding out more about what they are.

This guide outlines the main apps that young people use, age requirements, safety tools and advice.

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Social media guides - UK Safer Internet Centre

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Find out more about the safety features available on popular social networks.

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Take It Down is a free service that can help you remove or stop the online sharing of nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit images or videos taken of you when you were under 18 years old. You can remain anonymous while using the service and you won’t have to send your images or videos to anyone. Take It Down will work on public or unencrypted online platforms that have agreed to participate

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This service is one step you can take to help remove online nude, partially nude, or sexually explicit photos and videos taken before you were 18.

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Adult and Young Persons support for drugs, alcohol and mental health.

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Adult and Young Persons support for drugs, alcohol and mental health.

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We're here to listen and support, never judge. You won't have to pay for our services and your privacy is really important to us. Whether you need advice for yourself or a loved one, the journey starts with a step. When you’re ready to take it, we can help you along the path.

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We are a charity that offers free, confidential support to people in England and Scotland who have issues with drugs, alcohol or mental health

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The Victim Care Merseyside hub provides a single point of contact for victims of crime residing in Merseyside

to access free, confidential advice, plus emotional and practical support tailored to your needs.

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EVOLVE - Tackling the impact of substance abuse

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EVOLVE - Tackling the impact of substance abuse

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EVOLVE provides education, confidential support, counselling, mental health first aid, and information to all those affected by substance misuse.

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Evolve - Tackling substance misuse in the community

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Our services include; education, confidential support, counselling, mental health first aid, and information to all those affected by substance misuse. We provide these services free of charge.

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Well being toolkit following the unrest during August 2024 after the Southport incident.

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community wellbeing - response to unrest CYP

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Mental Health Support for Young People and their Families

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Mental Health Support for Young People and their Families

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Mental Health Support for Young people and their Families

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Mental Health Support for Young people and their Families

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Kooth's guide for tips to cope with exam stress

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Kooth's support guide for young people with self harm or self injury

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Kooth's support guide for Young People

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Report Remove is a tool that allows young people to report an image or video shared online, to see if it’s possible to get it taken down.

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Information for parents and carers about Childline and IWF’s Report Remove, a tool to help young people report unwanted images online.

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Support for Children who are victims of Domestic Abuse

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Support for Children who are victims of Domestic Abuse

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Operation Encompass

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Everyone needs a hand with their relationship sometimes. Add kids into the mix, and there can be lots of extra pressure on you both, as you juggle looking after yourselves and your little (and not so little) ones.

Explore this link to find content on some really common things like struggling to communicate well with your partner, raising kids together, and parenting after break-up.

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Everyone needs a hand with their relationship sometimes. Add kids into the mix, and there can be lots of extra pressure on you both, as you juggle looking after yourselves and your little (and not so little) ones. Explore below to find content on some really common things like struggling to communicate well with your partner, raising kids together, and parenting after break-up.

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Free Online Parenting support for Parents / Carers

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Free Online Parenting support for Parents / Carers

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Parenting Advice from Child Mental Health Experts

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Parenting Advice from Child Mental Health Experts

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Practical tips to support children’s wellbeing and behaviour

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Parenting Smart offers practical advice for parents and carers of children aged 5-11. All of our content is created by Place2Be's parenting experts. It's based on evidence and their experiences working with children, young people and their families.

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Advice for Young People's Mental Health- for Young People and Parents / Carers

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Advice for Young People's Mental Health- for Young People and Parents / Carers

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YoungMinds | Mental Health Charity For Children And Young People

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YoungMinds are a mental health charity for children, young people and their parents, making sure all young people can get the mental health support they need.

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Sexual abuse is when someone is forced, pressured or tricked into taking part in any kind of sexual activity with another person. It could be online or in person, and it can happen to anyone.

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6 facts about sexual abuse

anyone can experience abuse, regardless of their sexuality or gender

sexual abuse is never your fault

someone can be sexually abused or assaulted by someone they know, in a relationship or by a stranger

sexual abuse can happen online or in person, and can involve anything sexual

you're not alone and there are people who can help you.

Lots of young people who've experienced sexual abuse can feel confused or unsure about what's happened. But even if you're not sure, you can still get support.

You can talk to Childline about anything that might be happened. You can tell our counsellors as much or as little as you want, they can help you to understand what's happened and get support if you're ready.

It's natural to be worried about what someone might say, or whether things could get worse.

Even if you're worried about talking to people in your life, you can still speak to us. At Childline, we'll always believe and support you. We won't tell you off and we'll help you to take your time.

Childline is a safe place to talk. Whenever you speak to us it's confidential and we won't tell other people what you've said.

We would only consider saying or doing something if:

you ask us to

we believe your life or someone else's life is in danger

you're being hurt by someone in a position of trust who is able to hurt other children like a teacher, religious leader, sports coach, police officer or doctor

you tell us that you're seriously hurting another person

you tell us about another child who's being hurt and is not able to tell someone or understand what is happening to them

we're told we have to by law, for example for a court case.

Not sure how much you are ready to share? That's okay, you can say as much or as little as you want to.

Try talking to a counsellor about your worries or read more about our confidentiality promise.

It's always important to tell someone what's happening.

If someone has sent you messages or you have other proof then it can help to show those to someone you trust, but you don't need evidence to get support.

If you're in danger or you need support straight away, you can always call 999.

A safety plan can help you know what to do if you feel unsafe at home or with someone else. It can help to make one if you're worried about being hurt or if you think something might go wrong. A safety plan includes all the information you'll need in an emergency.

Your plan could include:

who to call - this could be an adult you trust, Childline or the police

safe places you can stay if you have to leave home, and a plan of how to get there if you need to travel

things you'll need in an emergency, like medication or a phone charger

what to do if you're caring for someone else.

Get more advice and a template to make a safety plan.

Sexual abuse: how we can help

To be able to see YouTube videos, we have to ask you to accept Targeting Cookies within your Cookie Settings

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If you've been sexually abused, or know somebody who has, we're here to help. On this page you'll find information about what you can do, who you can talk to and where to find the support you need.

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Exploitation of Young People - County Lines

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Exploitation of Young People - County Lines

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Guidance on how to deal with Child to Parent Violence (CPV)

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How to talk to your child about distressing events

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There are a lot of scary, upsetting things happening in the world right now, and kids have a right to understand what's going on. But how do we talk to them?

Twinkl, who aim to make learning accessible to all, have shared with us some great tips on how to talk to children about the state of the world to give you the confidence and support to chat things through with the little people in your life.

When there are upsetting events in the news or in the local community, children may see, hear or read things that cause them anxiety or distress. This may be from other children, on the news, from social media or from overhearing adults speak. In this digital age, we can't always protect children from hearing distressing news but we can support them to understand and process the feelings they may experience in order to protect their mental health and wellbeing.

Here is some guidance for supporting children to understand and address questions or worries they may have.

Exposure

Although there may be times when we cannot help children overhearing information that may be worrying or upsetting, if at all possible, try to avoid exposure to information that is not age appropriate. If children express any concerns about things they have heard or are aware of, make it clear you are here to support them and they are welcome to talk to you about anything they are worried about.

Listening

If children express any concerns or worries, make it clear that you are here to listen. If there isn't opportunity immediately to provide the time and space they need to talk, make it clear that you will make time later, if possible agreeing when that time will be together. During discussions about worrying or upsetting events, demonstrate to children that you are giving the discussion your full attention by practising active listening. Processing distressing news can take time, particularly in an unfolding situation. Making yourself available shows them that their concerns are important to you. Acknowledge their emotions and let them know that however they are feeling is OK.

Discussion

In light of a large-scale event, it can be helpful to lead a discussion so all children are able to share their concerns. Make sure you give them time and space to ask any questions they may have and encourage them to keep asking questions, whenever they have them, and no matter what they are. Answer any questions truthfully but be aware of the level of detail that is appropriate to the child's age and stage of development. Don't be afraid to say that you don't know the answers to all of their questions. If tackling the topic in a group, carefully consider any children who may be directly impacted by the situation and those whose family context may affect their response. In addition, children who have previously experienced traumatic events in the past may be particularly sensitive to similar situations.

Reliable Sources

Beware of misinformation and teach children how to identify untrustworthy sources of news, such as social media and sensationalist 'clickbait' sites. Explain how to use trustworthy sites to find answers to questions you may be unsure of, explaining how you will find answers to any questions you may not be able to answer right away. If appropriate, model how to find trusted, age-appropriate sources of information.

Our Own State of Mind

Be aware of your own state of mind. Let children know that it is normal to be concerned about world events but even if you are yourself feeling worried about the situation, make sure that you reassure children that they are safe.

Self-Care

Putting big feelings such as worry, fear and sadness into words can be hard, especially for younger children. Giving children the skills and opportunity to express, manage and cope with uncomfortable feelings can be very empowering.

* Provide opportunities for children to express how they are feeling in a variety of ways, for example through music or art. Invite them to talk through their work but don't feel you have to respond. Listen, thank them for sharing how they feel and reassure them that you are there for them should they need your support at any point.

* Teach children self-care techniques to manage their feelings, particularly if they are having trouble concentrating on other things. For example, switch off devices for a set time, read a favourite book, listen to music that makes them feel happy or relaxed, talk and play with friends and engage in activities they enjoy.

* Ask children to think of their own self-care strategies and support them in putting their ideas into action. If children are unsure, suggest a range of options for them to choose from. Developing their own self-care plan can help children feel in control of their emotions.

Positive Action

Feelings of helplessness in the face of global crises can feel overwhelming. Suggest ways that children can act to show their support, such as raising money for charity or writing to their MP. Taking action to make a positive difference can help children feel more in control in a situation that is out of their hands. This can help them to regulate their uncomfortable emotions. Remind the children that terrible events are rare and help them identify positive news stories, acts of human kindness and things they love about the world around them.

Recognise that not one type of response will fit all children. Observe carefully and listen as much as possible. Children often just want to feel heard and know you are there. Reassure them as much as you feel able and let them know you are in this together, that their reaction is normal and that they're not alone in their thoughts and feelings, whatever they may be. Knowing that others may feel the same can be a huge comfort.

What to do next

Check out Twinkls other resources:
Strategies to use when I'm worried about the news
Coping with upsetting stories in the news
Relaxation tips to do at home with your kids Talking to kids about war - tips from a child psychiatrist

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Talking about distressing current events with kids

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There are a lot of scary, upsetting things happening in the world right now, and kids have a right to understand what's going on. But how do we talk to them?

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Support your child in dealing with Media coverage of traumatic events

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Seeing coverage of upsetting world events in the news, online or on social media can be distressing for children, especially in today's 24-hour news cycle. But there are things parents can do to help children make sense of them.

Here are five steps to help them cope, as well as resources for further support.

1. Give them space to talk

While it might feel natural to protect children from coverage that might distress them, shutting down conversations about those issues could feel more confusing - and lead children to seek answers from other, less reliable sources.

Offer them opportunities to talk, as often and for as long as they need, to help them understand what is happening and process how they are feeling.

2. Create a sense of calm

Children look to the adults around them for guidance on how to react emotionally. It's important, first and foremost, to establish a sense of safety and security.

Avoid appearing anxious and frightened and reassure them that they are safe. Create a calm and measured atmosphere in which they can ask you any questions they want to.

3. Reassure them

Remind children that stories like these are in the news because they are rare: they don't happen very often.

Equally, let them know that finding these stories upsetting is okay. Feeling sad, worried or angry about a tragic or scary event is perfectly normal, and they certainly won't be alone in feeling that way.

Try and keep your family routine as normal as possible, giving them a reassuringly familiar structure.

4. Keep things simple

Keep your explanations factual and age-appropriate. Younger children need brief, simple details, balanced with reassurances that their daily lives will not change.

Be honest, but try not to embellish or speculate on what might happen next, and be mindful of avoiding stereotyping any particular parties, countries or people involved.

Remember, you don't have to have all of the answers yourself.

5. Listen to their views

Teens and older children may well be getting their own information about a story from sources which may be biased or unreliable.

Listen to them, but encourage them to question or verify what they are reading too. This will help them to keep an issue in perspective, as well as develop critical thinking, an important online media literacy skill.

They may want to take action to support those involved - for example by writing to their MP or supporting a fundraising event. Where appropriate, this can help them feel they are making a difference, but be mindful of their ongoing or continuous exposure to the subject.

Further reading
Ollee - a digital friend for children aged 8 to 13 National Association of School Psychologists

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Helping your child cope with media coverage of traumatic events - Parent Zone - Parents' area

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Seeing coverage of upsetting world events in the news, online or on social media can be distressing for children, especially in today's 24-hour news cycle. But there are things parents can do to help children make sense of them. Here are five steps to help them cope, as well as resources for further support.

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Tik Tok - What parent's need to know

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13 is the minimum age according to TikTok's terms and conditions.

How does TikTok work?

Once signed up and logged in, you can either search for popular categories, creators, or find people via your friend's contact list, or you can create the videos yourself. But many people just use the app to follow content creators.
How to create an account
Click on the 'person' icon and you can choose to sign up with an email, phone number, or existing Google, Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram account.

Once you have selected an option, you are then asked to enter your date of birth, if it is below the age of 13, the app displays the following message: "Sorry, looks like you're not eligible for TikTok. But thanks for checking us out!"

Your feed highlights what is going on in your community and a separate 'For you' feed shows tailored recommendations for you.

Why do teens love TikTok?

It is a way to express themselves and create short-form video clips to gain a following and build a community around their passions. It also features some great special effects that users can apply to their videos to make them more unique. You can also cross-post the content on other platforms (such as Instagram) to share it with more people.

What do parents say about the app?

Seeing inappropriate content

Parents have expressed concerns about the inappropriate language of some of the videos posted which may make this less suitable for younger children.

Contact from strangers

Predators seeking to connect with children is another risk that parents have said to their children. A parent review can be found on Common Sense Media.

What should parents be concerned about?

When you download the app users can see all the content without creating an account although they are not able to post, like, or share anything until they've set up an account on the app.

You can set up your account by using your existing Google, Facebook, Instagram account, via email or phone.

By default all accounts are public so anyone on the app can see what your child shares. However, only approved followers can send them messages.

Users can like or react to a video, follow an account or send messages to each other, so there is the risk that strangers will be able to directly contact children on the app.

Children may be tempted to take risks to get more of a following or likes on a video so it's important to talk about what they share and with who.

Need to delete your account? Go to Me>Tap ..., located on the top right corner>Tap Manage account > Delete account. Follow the instructions in the app to delete your account.

TikTok has said: "Today's announcement is about going one step further to put in place stronger proactive protections to keep younger members of our community safe.

We look forward to the feedback of our community and all of our stakeholders as we constantly improve with new features and resources to help our community manage their TikTok experience."

Does TikTok have any safety features?

Digital Wellbeing

Like Facebook and Instagram, it has a digital wellbeing element (which is password protected) that alerts users who have been on the app for more than two hours. You can also turn on 'restricted mode' to filter out inappropriate content on the app.

Private account

You can set an account to be private so that all videos can only be seen by the creator and no one else on the platform. With a private account, you can approve or deny users and limit incoming messages to followers only.
Please note that even with a private account, your child's profile photo, username, and bio are still visible to all users on the platform. You can manage who can comment, duet and direct message your child on the app.

Privacy settings

TikTok users under 18 will have their accounts set to private-by-default, which means only someone who the user approves as a follower can view their videos. The change is part of a wider package of measures designed to drive higher standards of user privacy and safety. Download the updated privacy settings here.

Internet Matters CEO Carolyn Bunting adds: "The safety of children and young people online needs to be a priority for organisations across the industry.

The disabling of direct messaging on the TikTok platform for under 16s is a significant move in prioritising the safety of their young users and we are pleased to see the protection of their younger users taking precedence in their product changes.

TikTok provides fantastic opportunities to be creative and have fun, especially in these unprecedented times and it is encouraging to see them invest in a number of initiatives that help to create a safer environment for young people."

Check out our TikTok privacy and safety parental controls to learn more.

June 2022:

TikTok has announced plans to support screen time management with new prompts to promote breaks. This complements the already-existing features that allow users to set daily limits for themselves. The screen time dashboard will also let users view their usage statistics to see how they spend their time in-app. This feature comes after our research with TikTok that found young people would like help to independently manage their screen time. Learn more about the upcoming feature here.

As of Jan 2021, the following features have been implemented:

New privacy settings: TikTok users under 18 will have their accounts set to private-by-default (as of Jan 2021) as mentioned above.

Tackling fake news and misinformation: A new fact-check feature that will confirm and remove content if false (as of Feb 2021). Read more here.

Prevention of bullying feature: Creators are now able to control what comments can be posted on their content before it goes live. In addition, users who comment will get a prompt advising them to reconsider their comment if it's inappropriate (as of March 2021). Read more here.

Tightening the options for commenting on videos created by those ages 13-15: Younger users can now choose between "friends" or "no one," and the "everyone" comment setting is being removed.

Changing Duet and Stitch settings: The broader TikTok community won't be able to use those features with content created by people under 16, though anyone can Duet and Stitch with eligible content from users over 16. For users aged 16-17, the default setting for these features will now be set to Friends.

Removing the ability to download videos created by those under 16: For users ages 16-17, this function will now be set to "off" by default, with the option to allow downloads of videos if a user chooses.

Setting "suggest your account to others" to "off" by default for accounts ages 13-15.

Bedtime block on app alerts - TikTok has announced a feature that prevents teenagers from receiving notifications past their bedtime. They will no longer send notifications after 9 pm to users 13-15 years old. But for 16 and 17 year-olds, notifications will not be sent after 10 pm.

How to report inappropriate content on the TikTok app?

You can report content that doesn't follow TikTok's Community Guidelines within the app, click here to find out how to do it on the app.

You can block followers ' by choosing the fan you'd like to remove and selecting 'Block' from the menu of options.

Be sure to update the TikTok app to ensure you are kept up to date with the latest features.

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TikTok app safety - What parents need to know | Internet Matters

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13 is the minimum age according to TikTok's terms and conditions. Once signed up and logged in, you can either search for popular categories, creators, or find people via your friend's contact list, or you can create the videos yourself. But many people just use the app to follow content creators.

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Tik Tok - A Parent's Guide

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Is TikTok safe? How does it work? And can I do a duet with my kid? Everything you need to know about this popular musical singing and sharing app. Advice from Common Sense Media editors.

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Understanding online safety is tricky for all ages - we have advice and guides to help you learn about staying safe online as a family.

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Listen to the parent

It may be the first time they have spoken about the situation to anyone outside of their immediate family, and there will be lots of emotions happening for them ranging from worry about how you will respond, to relief that they have finally been able to speak out.

Do not judge or blame

Almost three quarters of our parents feel blamed, 78% feel guilty and 53% feel humiliated, so it's incredibly important that they feel supported when they open up to a professional about their situation.

Be mindful of the language you use

Please avoid any language which casts doubt on the seriousness of the situation, or implies they're not telling you an accurate version of events.

Do not tell the child or young person what has been said

If the child realises their parent has disclosed the abuse to you, this could escalate the situation at home.

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How to Recognise & Responding to CPA | Pegs Support

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Recognising the signs of Child to Parent Abuse can be difficult, but we hope as more professionals undertake training - and as it becomes more openly discussed - that this becomes easier for the services who are having contact with families impacted by CPA. Learn more

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A Parent Guide to Talking to Your Chid about Online Sexual Harassment

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A Parent Guide to Talking to Your Chid about Online Sexual Harassment

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Foreword by Dame Rachel de Souza DBE

Since March 2020, thousands of young women have been sharing their experiences of sexual harassment through the 'Everyone's Invited' project. This is an online platform where girls ‑ who are still mostly in school - have described growing up in a world where harassment, including sexualised comments, slut‑shaming and the sharing of nude pictures, is part of their everyday lives. This harmful behaviour happens online and offline. I've seen this first‑hand during my time as a headteacher and I know how stressful and damaging it can be for children, especially girls.

Of course, boys can experience sexualised bullying too, and when they do it's often in the form of homophobic abuse, or through pressure to be more 'masculine'.

When I became Children's Commissioner for England I undertook the largest ever survey of children - The Big Ask - to understand children's lives. The findings of this survey gave me a lot of hope for this next generation, not least because of their incredible resilience. But children, especially girls, talked about their experiences of sexualised bullying and peer‑on‑peer abuse and were calling firmly for more support. Most children want that support to come from their parents or carers.

Talking to our children about this issue can be hard. Parents tell me they sometimes feel uncomfortable, not just because of the sexualised nature of the topic, but also because their children know more about technology than they do. For mums, dads and carers who grew up without smart phones, this whole world can feel bewildering.

But children want to talk to their parents and carers about this. We know this because they've told us. And that's what is at the heart of this guidance.

We brought together a group of 16-21 year‑olds and asked them to tell us what they think parents should know, and what they should say to their children when talking about sexualised bullying and the pressures of growing up online. We asked them to think back to when they were a bit younger and tell us what their parents and carers did and said that was helpful...and what wasn't.

This guidance is based on the voices of young people giving adults their tips on how to tackle this subject.

I also convened a steering group of the leading organisations working in this area and listened to their expertise. We'll signpost to their excellent work for those who want more information, but this guide serves as a starter kit - an entry point for parents and carers who want to talk to their children but need a bit of support to understand the issues and to start a conversation.

The overriding message you'll see from our focus group is talk early, talk often. You might be surprised how early our young people felt parents need to start the conversation. But children want an age‑appropriate conversation that evolves over time in line with their growing maturity.

My advice to parents and carers is to create the culture before the crisis. Children have told us they want their mums and dads to create a safe, judgment‑free space for them to talk about these issues. It's better to do that before you hit a problem rather than trying to create that mood while you're dealing with one.

It takes a lot of bravery for a child to share their experiences of abuse or harassment. Parents and carers are telling me they want to match that bravery in getting to grips with these issues. Things that might feel uncomfortable to begin with, will feel less so over time. Parents and carers need to grasp the nettle as they support their children navigating this complex part of growing up. Our children have told us it's what they want. This guide will help you get there.

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Talking to your child about online sexual harassment: A guide for parents | Children's Commissioner for England

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Since March 2020, thousands of young women have been sharing their experiences of sexual harassment through the 'Everyone's Invited' project. This is an online platform where girls ‑ who are still mostly in school - have described growing up in a world where harassment, including sexualised comments, slut‑shaming and the sharing of nude pictures, is part of their everyday lives.

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Government advice on how to get support if you are affected by domestic abuse.

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RASA (Rape and Sexual Abuse Support) are there to help people through, towards recovery, well being and independence.

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Home Truths - Make sure your home doesn't have an open door to child sexual abusers 

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Home Truths - Make sure your home doesn't have an open door to child sexual abusers 

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This powerful video shows how young people are being contacted in their own homes on online platforms and apps and asked for sexual pictures and videos, while their parents and carers believe they are safe

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Home Truths - Make sure your home doesn't have an open door to child sexual abusers

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 Are you unknowingly letting child sexual abusers into your home? 

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 Are you unknowingly letting child sexual abusers into your home? 

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Young people are being contacted in their own homes on online platforms and apps and asked for sexual pictures and videos, while their parents and carers believe they are safe. More and more sexual abuse material is created by offenders who coerce and groom children into sexual activities, often in children’s own bedrooms and bathrooms. They then record this via webcams or livestreaming services. It’s known as ‘self-generated**’ child sexual abuse imagery. 5 This is happening now, and it can happen to anyone. But you can do something about it; you can help prevent it happening to your child. There is a powerful video that accompanies this campaign.

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TALK Checklist by Internet Watch Foundation

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TALK Checklist by Internet Watch Foundation | Home

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Make sure your home doesn't have an open door to child sexual abusers. Follow the TALK checklist to help keep your child safe online.

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Gender Space is a service for Trans Young People aged 12-18 in the north of England.

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Gender Space is a service for trans young people aged 12-18 in the North of England. Support takes place remotely via phone or internet platforms and takes place over four tailored sessions. The same support is also offered to the parents/carers or other special adult of a young trans person.
Events occur every month where young people and families accessing the service can meet each other and share experiences.

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Gender Space is a service for trans young people aged 12-18 in the North of England. Support takes place remotely via phone or internet platforms and takes

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NSPCC Helpline for victims of sexual abuse in schools

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Childline - Removing a nude image online

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Childline - Removing a nude image online

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How to remove a nude image shared online

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Content warning: This section includes graphic sexual descriptions.

A nude image must include one of the following to be removed:

nude or semi-nude sexual posing

someone nude or semi-nude touching themselves in a sexual way

any sexual activity involving a child

someone hurting someone else sexually

sexual activity that includes animals.

Where possible, it is better if you can upload the original image or video, or a copy of it, rather than a photograph of it on another screen. This helps IWF find the image more accurately.

If you want to report something that isn't a nude image or video to see if it can be taken down, you can see more information from Childline about deleting things shared online here. You can make a report to CEOP, the part of the police who are there to support children and young people online. You can always speak to a Childline counsellor.

Confirming your age with ID gives us more legal powers to remove images from as many places as possible. If you don't have ID or feel comfortable using it, we can still take down images, but from fewer places.

You can use the following ID to confirm your identity using Yoti:

passport or biometric residence permit

driving licence and provisional licence

Young Scot Card (Yoti app only)

CitizenCard (Yoti app only).

If you don't have any of these, you can get a young person's ID card. You'll be able to get this for £5 with the promo code NSPCC5. Make sure you choose 'Yoti CitizenCard' on the first page.

Whatever ID you use, please make sure that it is valid and in-date.

IWF will read all reports within one working day, from Monday to Friday. The time it takes to get your image removed from the internet can be different depending on where the image is hosted.

If the image is on a UK-based website it can often be removed within 2-3 hours. Unfortunately, in some countries it can take longer - sometimes days or weeks. But IWF analysts will always try to make sure it happens as soon as possible.

We'll do our best to let you know once your image has been removed by sending a message to your  Childline locker.

We recommend you check your locker every few days after you make a report. This is so you can see if your image has been removed, and so Childline can let you know if IWF need more information to be able to remove it. Remember, IWF can't contact you directly.

If you need support to help you cope while you're waiting, you can also speak to a Childline counsellor any time.

When you use Report Remove, your image or video is shared with the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF). They'll work to get your image removed from the internet. See 'Who are the IWF?' to learn about how that happens.

Most of the time, nobody will know that you've made a report and your report won't be shared with anyone else.

If the police already have the image or video you report, then they might investigate what's happened. Only the police can decide if they'll need to tell someone else.

The police might already have your image or video if:

someone has reported it on another website and that website passed it to the police

they're investigating someone who had or has the image or video already (if someone is found to have your image and is breaking the law - regardless of how, it may be included as evidence in a criminal case against that person

someone else reported the image to them directly.

Remember that the police are there to protect you, not to get you into trouble. If the image has been reported somewhere else and you're worried, you can always  speak to a Childline counsellor.

If you have parental controls on your phone your parent or carer might see when you want to download a new app, so they might get a notification if you try to download Yoti and want to know why. To avoid this, use the second option to prove your age (called 'ID verification').

The IWF can remove images that are public or available to anyone on the internet. However, they won't be able to remove images or videos on encrypted networks like WhatsApp, or which are saved on a person's phone or computer.

If you're over 13 and you've made a report without using ID, then there may be some sites the IWF can't take images down from.

If you don't use ID the IWF can help by removing your image or video from most sites. If you do use ID, the IWF can remove from all sites

The Internet Watch Foundation (IWF), a UK charity, are there to help remove illegal nude images of under 18s posted online.

Once the IWF has confirmed your nude image is against the law and can be removed from the internet they give it a digital fingerprint called a 'hash'. The hash can be used to find your image online even if it has been cropped or slightly changed.

Sharing just the hash with certain trusted companies and organisations, means that technology can be used to find online matches of the image - this is key to trying to stop it appearing in different places on the internet. Even though the hashes and images are shared with UK police, this is so that if they came across the image some other way, they'd know that you also reported it yourself. Report Remove was developed with the full support of the police and no one involved wants to get you into trouble for sharing the image so it can be removed.

Different companies use the hash in different ways. For example, if an illegal image match is found to have been shared by an online account holder, a company may decide to close that person's account as posting illegal images will be against the company's terms and conditions. If your image(s) are found on or are linked to your online user account(s) it may be possible for the company to associate your profile with the images.

The companies that take the hashes trust the Report Remove process, however if they have significant concerns that the person in the image may not be the person who was age verified, they may get in touch with the IWF to raise their concerns.

There are 3 organisations that help you report your image using Report Remove. These are Childline, the Internet Watch Foundation (IWF) and also Yoti if you are 13 or older and choose to prove your age using ID. All of them have a responsibility to keep all of your personal information safe.

1. We'll ask you to choose your age range (under 13, 13-15, 16-17, 18 and over). If you're under 13, you'll go straight to step 3. If you're aged 13 or older, us at Childline will ask you if you have access to ID to prove your age. If you do, you'll be asked to visit Yoti. The only information we will share with Yoti is that you are wanting to prove your age to use Report Remove.

2. Once you prove your age using Yoti, you will come back to Report Remove on Childline. The only information Yoti will share with Childline is confirmation that you're younger or older than 18.

3. We'll then ask you to create or sign in to a Childline account. Then you'll go to the IWF website to share the content you want removed. Childline will only share the information below with IWF:

that you're younger than 18 (either confirmed by Yoti, or that you told us you are younger than 18),

the age range you selected at the start,

a unique number that is created when you use Report Remove.

4. After your report has been passed to the IWF, they will tell Childline if they were able to work to take the images or video down from the internet, and why. This is so Childline can let you know what happened. IWF may also tell Childline some information about what you reported, to help them know how best to support you and keep you safe. IWF will never share an image or video that you report with Childline.

Information you give to Childline
Any information you give Childline will always be treated carefully and in line with our  Privacy Policy. This means that any information you give us as part of Report Remove will only be used to help the IWF review your report and to keep you safe. This will include the age range that you select and a unique number that's created when you go onto the IWF website. We will not share any of your information with Yoti.
Information you give to IWF
The only information you will give to the IWF are the images, videos or URLs you report. There is space to add information such as where the image or video is on a webpage.

They will process this in line with their privacy policy.

Nude images and videos that IWF decide are illegal may be kept by the IWF for up to 2 years. This is because there is an agreement with the Police and CPS (Crime Prosecution Service), called a 'Memorandum of Understanding' (MOU). Illegal images are given a hash (a string of numbers that are like a digital fingerprint). The hash is shared with organisations such as technology companies who host online content, so that they can look for the image and take it down. The actual image is not shared with these companies. The image and the hash are shared with the police who store it on their Child Abuse Image Database. Any images or videos that they decide are not illegal may be kept for a maximum of 6 months for quality checking and any follow up questions. They will then be deleted. Sometimes, even if it's decided that the content isn't illegal, IWF can share the content URL with some industry members to see if they can take the content down.

If you report a URL (link to a webpage), and choose not to prove your age using ID, IWF will still check to see if the content is something they can take action on. If so IWF may share the URL with South West Grid for Learning (SWGfL), who are a charity who help people who have had intimate images of them shared online. SWGfL will never view the content on a URL that is shared with them. SWGfL send a notice to internet companies that host the webpage you reported, to tell them to take it down. This is because IWF can only send a notice to companies to take a specific webpage down when it is confirmed it is of a child. SWGfL can also send notice to take down content, but they do not need to prove it is of a child. This helps get your images or videos from even more places.

Childline will never see what pictures, videos or URLs you share with the IWF. The only information the IWF shares with Childline apart from your case number is whether or not they could take down your images or videos, and why, so we can let you know, as well as information about the image or video that you reported that will help Childline to support you and keep you safe.

Information you give to Yoti
You can choose to use Yoti to confirm your age if you're over 13. This may involve taking a selfie, so Yoti know it is you who are proving your age, and uploading a picture of some ID. Any personal data you send Yoti - like your photo, date of birth or address - is scrambled with a high level of encryption so that even if it was stolen, no one could use it to identify you. The only information Yoti shares with Childline is confirmation that you're under or over 18.

You can see Yoti's privacy policy here, and more information about their age portal here, which is what is used in Report Remove to prove your age.

If you're using the Yoti app, Yoti may use the selfie, month and year of birth you add to the Yoti app to improve its age estimation technology. You can opt out from this in the More> My Data> Biometric consent menu of the app.

There are lots of ways to get help with your report:

if you're having problems with Yoti, you can contact them directly in the app.

if you need any support with making your report send a message to Childline with the title 'Report Remove'.

Childline counsellors are always here for you and want to help. And you can  talk to them  about anything you're going through.
I have a technical issue, what should I do?

Try using your default browser and close private browsing if you're using the Yoti app.

See if you can log in to your locker and send an email to Childline explaining your problem and the team will be able to help.

Make sure the ID you're using is valid and in-date (not expired).

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Use Report Remove to remove a nude image shared online

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Parent Talk - Down-to-earth parenting advice you can trust

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Parent Talk - Down-to-earth parenting advice you can trust

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This is a free and confidential live chat with a qualified parenting coach in the UK.

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Support for Parents from Action For Children

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Free and confidential live chat with a qualified parenting coach in the UK. We're here 12:30-19:30 Monday, 10:30-16:30 Tuesday, 09:30-16:30 Wednesday, 12:30-19:30 Thursday and 09:30-16:00 Friday.

We can talk about anything that supports family life, caring for children or managing your own wellbeing. Some parents get in touch to chat about their day or talk about things they can't tell anyone else.

Remember, we're hard to shock. Between us, we've seen and heard every kind of parenting question, concern or worry - nothing fazes us.

Need to talk to someone right away?

Parents and carers

The Give us a Shout text service is available 24/7 and is free on all major mobile networks. Text Shout to 85258.

If you're worried about a child's safety, call NSPCC on 0808 800 5000. If you're worried about a child's health, call 111. In an emergency, call 999.

Children

If you're under 18, call Childline on 0800 1111. You can also text Shout to 85258. Both services are free.

If you need urgent help from the police or a hospital, dial 999 from any phone.

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Free and confidential live chat with a qualified parenting coach in the UK. We're here 12:30-19:30 Monday, 10:30-16:30 Tuesday, 09:30-16:30 Wednesday, 12:30-19:30 Thursday and 09:30-16:00 Friday. We can talk about anything that supports family life, caring for children or managing your own wellbeing.

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Most games consoles have internet access, which means your child can go online and chat with other players or make in-game purchases. On many consoles there are parental controls which allow you to manage which features are available to your child. On some devices you can:

turn off chat functions to stop your child from talking to people they don't know

restrict games based on age

turn off in-game purchases, or set a limit.

Check the website for the console your child has for a parents section and details of features. Some games also allow you to change settings for that individual game.
PlayStation Family Management
On PlayStation consoles you can set up a Family Manager account which allows you to manage different accounts for different children/users. Within this you can manage a range of features, such as restricting communication with other players, restricting content, setting play time controls and set spending limits. See all the features available for PS4 and for PS5.

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If you're worried about what your child's searching for or seeing online, we can help you to set up parental controls and keep them safe.

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What are parental controls?

Parental controls are the names for a group of settings that put you in control of what content your child can see. Combined with privacy settings these can help you protect your children from the things they shouldn't see or experience online.

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Parental Controls & Privacy Settings Guides - Internet Matters

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Parental controls are the names for a group of settings that put you in control of what content your child can see. Combined with privacy settings these can help you protect your children from the things they shouldn't see or experience online.

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Are you worried about online sexual abuse or the way someone has been communicating with you online?

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Are you being bullied?

If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small.

Visit Childline

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Are you being bullied? If you are being bullied, or you are not ready to make a report to CEOP, you can talk to Childline anonymously online or on the phone - No worry is too big or too small. Visit Childline

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Designed and Developed by South West Grid for Learning (http://swgfl.org.uk/)

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Report Harmful Content - We Help You Remove Content

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We use cookies to ensure you get the best experience on our website.

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The BBC Own It keyboard and app

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The Own It app comes with a special keyboard. This can be used like any other keyboard, but it also gives you helpful tips and friendly advice as you write!

Track how you feel and improve your wellbeing.

Packed full of gifs and emojis to help express yourself!

Lots of fun quizzes, videos and articles to enjoy.

Best of all, the Own It keyboard and app is personal to you. Everything you type is kept completely private, and never leaves the Own It app on your phone.

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The Own It app comes with a special keyboard. This can be used like any other keyboard, but it also gives you helpful tips and friendly advice as you write! Track how you feel and improve your wellbeing. Packed full of gifs and emojis to help express yourself!

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NSPCC Helpline for victims of abuse

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We're launching a dedicated helpline for children and young people who have experienced sexual harassment or abuse at school, and for worried adults and professionals that need support and guidance.

Our new NSPCC helpline, Report Abuse in Education, will launch on 1 April. Working with the Department for Education (DfE), who have commissioned us on this initiative, we will run the bespoke helpline to provide appropriate support and advice to victims of abuse and harassment, and concerned adults, including onward action such as contacting the police if they wish to.

This dedicated helpline will offer support to:

all children and young people making current and non-recent disclosures of sexual harassment or abuse on school grounds within school time, and incidents linked to school in any capacity

any children or young people who want to talk about being involved or witnessing any incidents

any adults who have experienced non-recent abuse

parents and carers who have any concerns about their own or other children

professionals who work in schools and need support in this or related issues.

Anyone who gets in touch through this dedicated helpline will also be signposted to other relevant support services available, including Childline - which provides ongoing support and counselling to children and young people.

The Report Abuse in Education helpline comes after a high number of anonymous testimonials were submitted to the Everyone's Invited website, documenting abuse in all types of schools, colleges, and universities.

We will also continue to respond to the needs of children, schools, and others affected through our other services, including our e-learning, training courses, and consultancy for schools. Our work looks to prevent child abuse and make sure children have the support they need.

We will continue our policy and lobbying work to ensure that the introduction of compulsory relationships, sex and health education (RSHE) in schools delivers change. We want the Government to invest in high-quality training and support so teachers are confident and equipped to deliver RSHE lessons in their classrooms. We will also continue to advocate for a whole-school approach to tackling abuse where school communities challenge damaging norms and unhealthy attitudes about sexual behaviour so all schools are safe places for young people.

Young people and adults can contact the NSPCC helpline, Report Abuse in Education on 0800 136 663 or email [email protected]

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Our new helpline for people who have experienced sexual harassment or abuse in education

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Our new dedicated helpline supports children and young people who have been victims of abuse at school, including non-recent abuse.

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A virtual educational workshop designed at educating parents/carers and other adults working with young people to some of the potential signs and indictors that a young person may be being exploited, and where to seek support if concerned.

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LFC Foundation's Crime Prevention Session - CSE Awareness Day 2021

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Information and advice on keeping safe from domestic and sexual abuse and getting help

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Free support for 14 to 19 year olds

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery."

Max

"If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive"

Abi

Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm. Each course has up to 14 young people, all accessing the sessions from their own phones, tablets or laptops across the UK. The courses take place on different evenings of the week and are run by friendly, trained counsellors and volunteer youth workers. You don't need an adult to refer you or sign you up, and no-one will see or hear you during the sessions - you'll just join in via the chatbox. We want to help you to find your next steps towards recovery, wherever you are on your journey.

IS ALUMINA RIGHT FOR ME?

Are you...

11-19 years old?

Living in the UK?

Someone who self-harms or worries they might?

Looking for support but not wanting to do it face to face?

Wanting to move towards a life free from self-harm?

If so...

Alumina could be a helpful step forward. If you sign up we'll begin a conversation over email to work out if it might be a good fit - and you can ask us any questions you have. The only rule we have in Alumina is that we don't talk about suicide in the groups. If that's something you are struggling with thinking about we recommend getting in touch with our friends at Papyrus who are better equipped to support you.

"I thought it would be all serious and uncomfortable because of the self-harm talk but actually, the staff have made me laugh, we've been given a space that feels relevant to our ages and most importantly we can turn up in any mood and they'll be there for us." Runa

What's a session like?

"Clicking on the link for the first time was nerve wracking and intense with lots of thoughts going through my head. But within only a few minutes of the session I had a smile on my face and felt comfortable with the staff and the group."

Sasha

"Alumina was quite different to what I expected, I thought it would just be an intense 6 weeks and it would be over like other services. But it was nothing like that - instead I felt and still feel very supported by the staff. The group and staff are like a big family who's always there for me."

Samara

"Clicking that link for the very first time was terrifying. But I knew it could be life-changing. The first session I felt welcome, I no longer felt like an outsider. It's fun, believe me!! Most days I find myself looking forward to the next session because Alumina gives me a sign of hope."

Dan

Questions

We aren't a crisis service so if you're in need of immediate support please contact one of the following:

The Mix: Offering essential support for anyone aged 12-25. For their crisis messenger support service text THEMIX to 85258.
Childline: Support for anyone up to age 18. Call, chat online or email their crisis service.
Samaritans: Call 116123 anytime if you need to talk to someone.

We've changed the shape of our support for young people. This website introduces Alumina, our online support groups for young people struggling with self-harm. We've also recently launched beheadstrong.uk offering young people all kinds of information, stories and videos about looking after your mental and emotional wellbeing. You can find links to some of selfharm.co.uk's most popular articles below.

Meet the team

Live Webinars

We have recently started to do live webinars on YouTube on issues related to self-harm and emotional wellbeing

Supporting Young People Who Self-harm

If you're a parent, professional or friend supporting a young person who's self-harming, we recommend taking an hour to watch this webinar with our Alumina Managers. They explore why people self-harm, why young people especially self-harm, why it becomes addictive, how to break the addiction cycle, and what young people wish the adults around them understood about self-harm.

"Alumina is a well thought through support service for young people; it is professional, caring and accessible to all. Signposting a young person to Alumina will help them begin their recovery journey."

DR. KATE MIDDLETON

Our Alumina advisory panel

More information about self-harm

We've moved some of our most popular articles about self-harm over to beheadstrong.uk, and you can use these links to find them:

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Free online Self-harm support for 11-19's Working with 11-19s from September '22

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"Since starting alumina it's become the highlight of my week. It's such a safe, non judgemental place which has really helped me in my recovery." Max "If you're thinking about joining I'd say go for it, the team are lovely and everyone who does it is so welcoming and supportive" Abi Alumina is a free, online 7 week course for young people struggling with self-harm.

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A guide to protect your child from online hate, extremism and fake news

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It’s okay to feel worried, angry, sad, or confused at times.

Asking for help can make a huge difference.

We’ve made it easier for you to get the support you need.

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Kooth - Online Mental Well Being Community

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Kooth - Online Mental Well Being Community

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If a young person needs help, they can contact their crisis team

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Kooth is your online mental wellbeing community. Access free, safe and anonymous

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Parent Protect offers 12 short videos on how to support and protect our children

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We Help Parents and Carers Protect Children from Sexual Abuse and Exploitation

Find out more

We have developed an online child sexual abuse and exploitation awareness learning programme for parents, carers and professionals to help:

Understand potential risks

Recognise the signs of possible abuse in children

Be aware of inappropriate behaviour in adults

Know where to go for help if you have concerns and would like to talk about them

The programme is for parents, carers and professionals, and aims to:

Provide the information you need about child sexual abuse and sexual exploitation

Show you how to create a f amily safety plan

Tell you who you can talk to if you are worried

You can contact the Stop It Now! helpline, secure messaging service or e-mail if you have any questions at any point, as you work through the programme.

Help us to better our learning programme by filling in this short questionnaire about your experience with the videos.

Please answer these questions anonymously:

Our resources are free to download to help adults, parents and carers protect children from harm. As a charity we welcome support from individuals. If you are interested in making a donation to help support our work, please visit this link.

If you would like to learn more about how you can protect children from sexual abuse and exploitation, visit these useful links.

Sign up for news & updates
Fill In Our Newsletter Form Here

To support our work to protect children, donate today.
Donate Today

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Sexual Abuse Learning Programme - Parents Protect

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We Help Parents and Carers Protect Children from Sexual Abuse and Exploitation Find out more We have developed an online child sexual abuse and exploitation awareness learning programme for parents, carers and professionals to help: Understand potential risks Recognise the signs of possible abuse in children Be aware of inappropriate

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Empower young people to be safe users online

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Talk to someone

Worried about something you have seen online or concerned about your child? Childline and the National Parents Council Primary offer free advice and support service.

Childline is a support service for young people up to the age of 18.There is a 24hr telephone, online and mobile phone texting service.

The National Parents Council Primary enables and empowers parents to be effective partners in their children's education.

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Worried about something you have seen online or concerned about your child? Childline and the National Parents Council Primary offer free advice and support service. Childline is a support service for young people up to the age of 18.There is a 24hr telephone, online and mobile phone texting service.

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World Health Organisation Key Facts

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Female genital mutilation (FGM) includes procedures that intentionally alter or cause injury to the female genital organs for non-medical reasons.

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Getting help, support and advice

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Find out what female genital mutilation (FGM) is, why and where it’s carried out, what the health risks are, and where to get help and advice.

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The Truth About Female Genital Mutilation

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Advice to keep children safe

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Female genital mutilation is illegal. We've got advice to help you keep children and young people safe.

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Barnardos Action With Young Carers Leaflet

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Worried about a child and need advice, Stop it Now can help

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Stop It Now | Preventing child sexual abuse

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Online self-help and confidential Stop It Now helpline for anyone worried about child sexual abuse, including their own thoughts or behaviour.

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Worried about extremism and radicalisation?

Learn more from ConnectFutures

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An extremist is someone who supports an idea, cause, or set of values so adamantly and without compromise that this person will use their views to justify anything they do or their behaviour.

What is radicalisation?

Radicalisation is a process by which an individual or group comes to adopt increasingly extreme political, social, or religious ideals, especially with regard to support for or use of violence.

What is terrorism?

Terrorism is the deliberate creation and exploitation of fear in order to advance a political, racial, religious or ideological cause; it uses terror and open violence against civilians to attempt to force people, authorities or governments to change their behaviour.

What should I do if I am worried?

There are many options to explore if you are concerned about a loved one, including from having an informal conversation to intervention from the authorities. Firstly, it is best to try to open up dialogue, not being judgmental but trying to find out what is behind the worrying behaviour. Young people often want to explore issues, for example talking about politics or religion - this is a positive thing. Former extremists often tell us that parents should try to keep the lines of talking open, try to listen, and tackle the tricky questions together. The idea is to help young people learn and grow, while building resilience to negative ideas and arguments. Talk to your child's teachers, youth workers, community organisations and other parents - there are always people to get advice and support from.

For those worried about a relative in prison who seems at risk of being radicalised, any dialogue may clearly be less possible. The main advice is similar to above - to keep lines of communication open, and for those in prison to know the family is there for them. There is the choice of contacting the prison pastoral team to see if they could talk to your relative. Religious conversion is common in prisons, but this is not the same as support for terrorism.

There are a number of organisations that work with families affected by having family members in prison. You can contact the National Offenders' Families Helpline which is run by Family Lives on 0808 808 2003. You can speak to St Giles Trust who work with ex-offenders and their families on 0808 801 0600.

What are the warning signs?

The first thing to say is that there is no one set of signals that would be a cause for alarm. Behaviours - such as increased arguing, dressing in a particular way, being active on social media or becoming more religious or political - might be typical of any teenager. When it becomes worrisome is if there is a combination of some of the following:

when a person cuts off ties with friends and family to keep company with a new circle

when they start to support violence

when they suddenly become disinterested in school or activities they previously liked to do

when they express hateful views or use derogatory terms towards other individuals or groups

if they are spending time on their computer researching extremist groups

if they are liking or retweeting posts made by fighters or extremist ideologues on their social media accounts

Obviously, if a family member commits or plans violent acts, tries to acquire weapons or plans a trip to a conflict zone, then there is a legal obligation to report concerns to the police.

As a parent - what are some of the practical things I can do?

The website Educate against Hate has an excellent section for parents who are worried about extremism, including suggestions on other agencies to contact for advice. It gives real life examples of successful interventions which have stopped young people being radicalised.

Recruitment and how might a child be at risk?

Radicalisers have three main ways they work: face to face, on-line and through printed or other material. In face-to-face interactions, your child may be approached directly by someone who seems trustworthy - perhaps in a club, group or a religious setting. They would not straight away preach a violent ideology, but initially just show interest, praise them and make them feel important. Later they might stress your child's significance to the movement, or duty to take part. They might tell of the rewards of belonging, or the excitement.

Skilled radicalisers will find a point of vulnerability, even in children who are successful at school and who have a secure home life. Indirect radicalization can occur through peers, i.e. those who have already been conscripted and seek to draw others into their group. On-line radicalization can again be direct or indirect - direct in terms of a person who is able to contact your child and who gradually builds up an on-line relationship; and indirect through your child looking at extremist material and becoming convinced to take some sort of action. Physical material in terms of leaflets, books or videos may also be offered - perhaps handed out at demonstrations. It's important to point out that there is no one defined route to radicalizing a person. In some cases, people have self-radicalised via the internet.

What if my child actually joins an extremist group?

If a child does join a group, or travels to join a group overseas, report the situation and take advice from the police. Former violent extremists suggest that it is important to try to keep contact, and to stress that they will be welcome if they return, even if you do not agree with what they are doing. Being accusatory or angry at any stage may push them further. Radicalisers often use family tensions to draw young people further into a group.

What about on-line recruitment?

If you come across online material promoting terrorism, extremism or radicalisation, you can anonymously report this to the Home office on https://www.gov.uk/report-terrorism. You can report material such as:

articles, images, speeches or videos that promote terrorism or encourage violence

content encouraging people to commit acts of terrorism

websites made by terrorist or extremist organisations

videos of terrorist attacks

Can teachers refer children to Channel without telling parents?

Yes, this is because there have been cases where families have been radicalising and therefore influencing children. However, this is unusual, and professionals such as teachers are to take proportionate steps, starting with a conversation with colleagues, safeguarding leads and experts for advice, and involving families wherever possible.

What is the Government doing about it?

The Government has a national strategy - part of a broader programme - called Prevent, which aims to stop people becoming terrorists or supporting terrorism. It addresses all forms of extremisms. It is supported by legislation such as the Terrorism Act (2000/2006) and the Counter Terrorism Security Act (2015).

What is Channel?

Channel is part of Prevent and is intended to act as an early intervention. It is a voluntary scheme meant to encourage and support those individuals considered at risk to make positive life choices, steering them away from violent extremism and terrorism. It is a multi-agency approach including the police and local authorities, which make up a Channel Panel. There have been some concerns about how people are referred to Channel, particularly how people are identified as being 'at risk'. This is why understanding the process is important for both families and professionals. If a person referred is considered by the panel to be vulnerable, and the case accepted, the panel will put interventions into place, for example helping with education, health, housing or employment, or it might involve mentoring.

As a parent and professional - who should I contact?

If urgent concerns persist, you should ring:

the police, through the school (or prison authorities) or directly.

999 if there is an immediate threat to life, or ring the police on 101 who would put you in touch with your local officer who has a Prevent remit.

the police anti-terrorist hotline on 0800 789 321. This number is available 24/7 for members of the public to report any suspicious activity. Calls are answered by specially trained counter terrorism officers who make some initial enquiries before passing on details to local counter terrorism officers for further investigation where appropriate.

NSPCC who recently launched a free 24 hour helpline on 0808 800 5000 for parents worried about radicalisation and the impact of terrorism. They have accessed to trained counsellors.

Crimestoppers on 0800 55511 who can be contacted anonymously with information about crime

ConnectFutures: About Us

ConnectFutures aims to build trust and collaboration between civil society, state agencies and the community around extremism and exploitation.

Examples of our work

Training - Face to face training (half day or full day) or e-learning course on Prevent for teachers and other professionals (minimum 30 minutes) and youth led projects.

Free Resources - Crowdfunded anti-extremism 3 min films: Short stories of former far right and Islamist extremists that will be freely accessible online: Explores insights and alternatives. Release Autumn 2016

Research report - Formers and Families of extremists (2015): This study explored individuals' journeys to and from violence, and the role of their friends and families. Far right and Islamist.

More details can be found on the website or contact Zubeda on 0121 214 6208

The article was written by Professor Lynn Davies & Zubeda Limbada of ConnectFutures.

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Worried about extremism and radicalisation?

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An extremist is someone who supports an idea, cause, or set of values so adamantly and without compromise that this person will use their views to justify anything they do or their behaviour. Radicalisation is a process by which an individual or group comes to adopt increasingly extreme political, social, or religious ideals, especially with regard to support for or use of violence.

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PREVENT RADICALISATION AND EXTREMISM

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Topic: Prevent

Please be reminded that Safe4me is NOT a standalone resource; it is designed as a toolkit to support teachers to deliver information to pupils specific to the Law, Consequences and Personal Safety only.

The resources in this tool-kit are designed to be flexible and adaptable to meet individual needs, suitability and time; adaptable for KS3, KS4 and Post 16, they can be used in one or across multiple lessons.

There is vast range of valuable resources made available by a host of other organisations, providing advice and materials to support work relating to this topic; the link below gives access to a directory of useful resources.

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Please be reminded that Safe4me is NOT a standalone resource; it is designed as a toolkit to support teachers to deliver information to pupils specific to the Law, Consequences and Personal Safety only.

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Parent resources to educate and support

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Parents' Resources - Educate Against Hate

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Messages of hate can take many forms. Extremist groups use them to recruit young people. Parents can find answers to common questions and resources to help protect your child below.

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Tackling radicalisation
facts & advice

Get expert tips to support children

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Radicalisation of young children online | Internet Matters

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What is radicalisation, what are the signs of extremism, how can you prevent it? Read about what being radicalised means and how to spot key signs.

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It can be hard to know what to do if you're worried about the radicalisation of a child. We've got advice to help.

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Spotting the signs of radicalisation

Radicalisation can be really difficult to spot. Signs that may indicate a child is being radicalised include:

isolating themselves from family and friends

talking as if from a scripted speech

unwillingness or inability to discuss their views

a sudden disrespectful attitude towards others

increased levels of anger

increased secretiveness, especially around internet use.

Children who are at risk of radicalisation may have low self-esteem, or be victims of bullying or discrimination. Extremists might target them and tell them they can be part of something special, later brainwashing them into cutting themselves off from their friends and family.

However, these signs don't necessarily mean a child is being radicalised - it may be normal teenage behaviour or a sign that something else is wrong.

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While we are all more reliant on communicating online, read through our advice for parents, guardians and carers to make sure you and your family stay safe online

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Lets Talk About It - Working Together To Prevent Terrorism

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Let's Talk About It is an initiative designed to provide practical help and guidance to the public in order to prevent terrorism.

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It’s not always easy to know what’s safe online and what’s not. Our advice can help you to keep safe and to know what to do when things go wrong.

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The latest tips, advice and resources to help children and young people have a safe and positive time online

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Welcome to the UK Safer Internet Centre, where you can find online safety tips, advice and resources to help children and young people stay safe online.

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Perhaps one of the most damaging misconceptions about the "sex talk" is that it should happen all at once. You sit your child down when you think they're ready. You lay out the birds and the bees - and then you move on with your life.

But the reality is, by the time you hit them with the talk, children of all ages have already gotten a bunch of messages about sex, relationships, and consent from somewhere else. From cartoons to fairy tales, nursery rhymes to pop songs, grandma to the kid next door... by the time your child can comprehend these stories, they've already internalized some concepts.

So as a parent, it's your job to translate, explain, debunk, and convey these messages.

And one of the most vital lessons - for boys, girls, and nonbinary children - is sexual consent. What it is? How can you give it and how do you ask for it? Most importantly, why it is so important for healthy relationships?

To know exactly what to teach kids, and to find out at what age each lesson is appropriate, we sat down with Brenna Merrill, prevention coordinator at Relationships Violence Services in Missoula, Montana, and Kelly McGuire, coordinator of Make Your Move! Missoula, a sexual violence prevention project that focuses on consent education and bystander intervention.

Together, they gave us an overview of what a timeline of consent lessons can look like for most families. They also shared some of their favorite sexual consent resources for parents.

1. Teach the correct vocabulary early

Consent education should start as soon as kids can understand the foundational concepts behind it. The very best place to start? Giving your child the correct, scientific vocabulary to describe their body parts, including words like:

There are two major reasons to stay away from code words and slang. First and foremost, correct labels break down stigma and create a person who is sex positive and not embarrassed to talk about their bodies with their parents - not to mention a future teen who isn't afraid to openly and clearly communicate with their romantic partner.

"When we use coded language with little kids, it sounds like something we keep secret and don't talk about, and that's not the message we want to send," says McGuire.
Ditching the slang makes young children much better equipped to report sexual abuse.
"If you have a preschooler who says, 'My hoo-ha hurts,' an adult like a teacher or relative might not know what she's saying," says Merrill. "But if she's using the correct language, people in the outside world can understand."

2. Teach bodily autonomy and independence

The concurrent step at this age is to teach your children bodily autonomy: the concept that an individual has control over what happens to their body, including who gets to touch it.

"Respecting your kid's wishes of when you want to touch them can't be started too early," McGuire stresses.

Respect your kids' wishes when it comes to hugging, kissing, cuddling, and tickling. The only exceptions are in matters of safety; for example, if a child needs to be restrained from hurting themselves or others.

The big example here is that they aren't "forced" to hug and kiss anyone, even grandma. Children should get to choose their level of contact based on their level of comfort.

In addition to letting your child know that they get to choose when someone touches them, you should also begin teaching them that consent goes both ways. An easy place to start? Teach them to ask their friends if they like to be hugged before going in for an embrace.

3. Talk about consent with friends and family

A vital part of teaching bodily autonomy at this age is also educating your friends and family about boundaries, too. This way Grandma doesn't get offended when she doesn't get a kiss. She should know that it's not a requirement that her grandchildren hug and kiss her or sit on her lap and you can teach her that she can offer alternatives.

"When you teach your kid bodily autonomy, you're not only teaching them to say no, you're teaching them lots of consent-related skills. Like saying, 'Can I high five you instead?' when a hug isn't wanted," explains McGuire.

"You're mirroring what it looks like to be refused. If your child refuses a hug, you can say, 'I know you still love me even if you don't want to hug me.' That statement shows that physical touch isn't bad or wrong in this relationship, just that in this moment, you don't want physical touch."

4. Teach the importance of reporting

The final education puzzle piece to consent for young kids is to teach them that if someone violates their bodily autonomy, or touches them in a private area, it isn't their fault. But it's vital they tell an adult.

As your child gets older, you can explain that certain people may have different levels of access to their body. For example, it's fine if mom hugs you, but not a complete stranger. It's fine to full-body roughhouse with a friend as long as you both agree to it.

Again, this isn't a lesson that should be given once, but one that should come with reminders and discussions over time. Many kids know that having a stranger touch them sexually should be reported immediately to an adult they trust. Fewer teens, though, understand the importance of reporting breaches of consent with peers.

1. Build stronger, healthier boundaries

As your children enters middle school or junior high, your lessons about consent and autonomy can increase in complexity.

This is a good time to discuss concepts like coercion, when someone persuades you to consent to something against your original will. You can also discuss how to set healthy boundaries with people, and what they should do if those boundaries are violated.
Remember: Setting healthy boundaries includes both physical and emotional boundaries.
2. Introduce concepts of sexism and misogyny

At this age range, it's imperative to talk to your children in depth about sexism and gender bias. Why? Sexism and misogyny have a lot to do with consent and can lead to harmful myths and misconceptions about consent and relationships, such as:

Men should always want sex and are expected to push the boundaries of how far they can go with partners.

The woman is a "gatekeeper" responsible for pacing or stopping sexual acts.

Women should obey men.

It isn't "manly" or romantic to ask before kissing a woman or making a move sexually.

"There are gender roles that can cause sexual scripts that can be harmful to sexual intimacy," explains McGuire. "Like a gatekeeping model, when a male asks a female for sex, and the female is responsible for saying no. That's based on a harmful stereotype that men are always horny and ready for sex."

3. Teach critical thinking skills

This is also a time to help your children to become independent critical thinkers by using examples on screen. "They're going to get harmful messages even when you aren't around, and they must have the skills to think critically about them," says Merrill.

If you see sexism in the world around you, such as in music, television, movies, or real-life situations, point it out and ask them what they think. Help them reach their own conclusions.

Be sure to also point out when you do see consensual behavior (there's a great, romantic, verbally consensual kiss at the end of "Frozen" for example).

"Really, the focus shouldn't be on teaching your child what they should do, but helping them understand why you have the values you have, how you came to a decision in your own life, and how they could come to decisions on their own," says Merrill.
Avoid too much lecturing and instead try to veer toward two-way conversations.
"Ask your kids questions, and respect their opinions," McGuire says. "They won't talk to their parents if you aren't curious about their opinions. Stepping into a role of listening and asking questions can open a lot about conversations."

4. Know how to respond when your kids ask about sex

This is also the age when children might start asking you questions about sex and sexuality that you may not be prepared to answer - but they're mature enough to understand.

"Don't be afraid to say, 'Whoa, that took me by surprise, but let's talk about it tomorrow after dinner,'" Merrill says. "Also, be sure to leave the door open for more discussion."

Finally, be sure to end the conversation with a supportive statement, like, "I appreciate that you came and talked to me about this."

High schoolers and young adults are ready to learn concrete lessons about sexual consent and healthy sexual relationships in full detail. These may be some of the toughest lessons to teach for parents, but they're the most vital pieces to help your kids understand consent and build healthy relationships.

1. Continue with more complex issues surrounding sexual consent

One mistake parents make when discussing consent is that they have limited talks with their children - and male children get starkly different talks than female children.

For example, males tend to get only enough information about consent to prevent illegal actions related to rape and assault, while women may only get enough information to prevent their own rape and assault.

This form of "disaster prevention" sex education may indeed prevent some legal issues, but it doesn't help break down our foundational cultural issues about consent or lend toward building enjoyable, equitable relationships.

"Teens should know what verbal consent sounds like, as well as how you can ask," McGuire says. "They should also know what nonverbal consent looks like. They should understand if that their partner is very quiet, or lying still, that that isn't the enthusiastic consent they're looking for, and it's time to communicate before they keep going."

Male consent and power differentials One overlooked topic that also gets lost in limited talks and "disaster prevention" is male consent. Teenage boys and men can also feel pressured or coerced into situations, despite saying no. They should understand that even if they're visibly or physically aroused, it's not consent. Everyone should be taught no means no. It's also important for all teenagers to understand how they can't truly offer consent in relationships with power differentials, such as being approached by an older mentor, teacher, or friend. Teaching teens what an equitable sexual relationship will look like can help guide a conversation about power dynamics.

Most children don't speak to their parents about sex - you can change that statistic. One survey of 18- to 25-year-olds found that the majority had never spoken with their parents about:

"being sure your partner wants to have sex and is comfortable doing so before having sex" (61 percent)

assuring your "own comfort before engaging in sex" (49 percent)

the "importance of not pressuring someone to have sex with you" (56 percent)

the "importance of not continuing to ask someone to have sex after they have said no" (62 percent)

the "importance of not having sex with someone who is too intoxicated or impaired to make a decision about sex" (57 percent)

The above study also found that a majority of kids who did have these conversations with their parents said that were influential.

That means that simply starting the conversation with your teens can help them embrace consent and think more about their relationships, even if you fear that you don't know how to perfectly approach these subjects.

The takeaway here? While teens might be learning about issues like birth control, rape, and sexually transmitted infections, they're lacking knowledge that they both need and crave regarding consent and healthy relationships. This additional knowledge is key to preventing sexual assault and sexual violence.

2. Converse about pornography

Due to the increasing popularity of mobile devices and the growing access to the internet, you can't ignore that your teen is very likely exploring pornography in some form.

Without a proper education from parents about what pornography is, how it functions, and its issues, kids can take away misguided messages about sex, relationships, and intimacy. At worse, these beliefs can become harmful to others.

"There's a lot of research coming out about how young kids are getting exposed to porn, out of curiosity, and they aren't getting information about their sexual health elsewhere," says McGuire. "It's just not a very realistic portrayal of sex. A lot of porn doesn't portray women well, and there are a lot of mixed messages about consent."

Your conversations about pornography depend on the age and maturity of your teen. Younger teens may simply be curious about sex and the human body, in which case you can share appropriate resources that answer their questions.

"For instance, teen girls may compare themselves to the women in porn and feel inferior while boys may fear that they won't be able to sexually perform like the men in porn," says Dr. Janet Brito, a licensed psychologist and sex therapist with the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health.

"Teens could potentially get the wrong idea about size, how long sex should last, believe it simply just happens minus the communication, or develop preconceived notions of how it's supposed to be."

Ethical, feminist pornography does exist. But while watching the right pornography recreationally can be perfectly healthy, much of the pornography easily accessible to kids can be violent, and has been shown to increase sexual violence in the teens that watch it.

"On the other hand," Brito adds, "teens who become curious about porn may be expressing a developmentally appropriate tendency to sexually explore, as their bodies are changing and they're starting to form deeper bonds. Other positive implications are that they may learn about their own sexual pleasure as well as develop resiliency."

Conversations with older teens can include topics regarding the ethics of porn, why most porn isn't realistic, the connection between most pornography and misogyny, and perhaps resources that connect them to ethical sources of pornography.

3. Talk about what a healthy sexual relationship looks like

In the previously mentioned study, 70 percent of 18- to 25-year-olds wished that they'd received more information from their parents about the emotional and romantic aspects of relationships, including how to:

have a more mature relationship (38 percent)

deal with breakups (36 percent)

avoid getting hurt in a relationship (34 percent)

begin a relationship (27 percent)

All of these issues are tied in many ways to understanding consent.

Again, start discussions with your children while consuming media or after you see a good or poor example of a healthy relationship. Ask them how they feel and what they think, and get them to think critically about what it means to be a caring romantic partner and what it means to be cared for.

"This isn't just about avoiding assault," says McGuire. "It's about creating healthy people who have the tools and skills to have healthy and happy romantic relationships."

Teaching our kids about consent might seem awkward or foreign, not only because it involves the subject of sex, but also because the majority of today's adults didn't get consent education as kids. However, one of the most rewarding aspects of parenting is our ability to break harmful cycles, create new standards, and improve life for our kids and the next generation.

Making certain that our children fully understand concepts like bodily autonomy and verbal consent can go a long way toward ensuring that their budding romantic relationships are safer, healthier, and happier.

Even if you have older children and missed out on earlier lessons, it's never too late to start teaching your kids about the importance of sexual consent.
Sarah Aswell is a freelance writer who lives in Missoula, Montana, with her husband and two daughters. Her writing has appeared in publications that include The New Yorker, McSweeney's, National Lampoon, and Reductress. You can reach out to her on Twitter.

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Consent at Every Age: The Conversation You Should Have with Your Kids

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Having the consent conversation isn't just a one-time talk. It starts from the beginning, as soon as your child is old enough to recognize their own body parts. We've put together a comprehensive guide, including expert input, power dynamics, question examples, and videos.

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Communication, respect, and honesty are the building blocks of healthy relationships, and consent is about all of those things.

Teaching kids about the skills of consent can help reduce sexual coercion, harassment, and even assault.

When we teach kids about consent, we help them learn how to express what they want and don't want.

We give them tools to express their limits. We teach them that they deserve to be treated in a respectful way. Teaching consent also means teaching kids that it's just as important to respect others' limits and wishes. We teach them that their friends have a right to say "no" and "yes" and have that be respected.

You can use the 1-minute video to spark conversations with your tween/teen about respectful relationships, the importance of consent, and how teens can ask for and give consent in their friendships and dating relationships.

The PARENT GUIDE offers simple conversation starters to open up a discussion after watching the video.

Talking about consent can start at any time...and it's never too late to begin the conversation.

As early as age 1, we can begin teaching kids that "no" and "stop" are important words and should be honored by children and adults. We can teach even very young children that they have a right to have their "no" and "yes" respected too.

The more you talk about consent, the more normal it will become, so talking openly and respectfully with friends and partners will become second nature.

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Communication, respect, and honesty are the building blocks of healthy relationships, and consent is about all of those things. Teaching kids about the skills of consent can help reduce sexual coercion, harassment, and even assault. When we teach kids about consent, we help them learn how to express what they want and don't want.

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As a parent, you may have heard the word 'consent', but you might not know what it means or what it includes. Simply put, consent is permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. Consent needs respect and communication. Consent is an important concept for children to learn about from an early age. It can lead to better relationships with family, friends, peers and, eventually romantic partners.

Consent includes knowing and respecting a person's own boundaries as well as the boundaries of others. Understanding consent means that a person has the skills to leave a situation that doesn't feel comfortable, and respects when other people want to do the same.

Consent is also important for online interactions and relationships. Consent extends to sexting - sending, receiving and sharing content online such as photos and videos.

For more information on sexting, go to Technology & Media.

Talking about Consent with Young Children

It's important to talk to your child about consent when they're young. Here are some tips that will help your child begin to understand consent:

Help your child understand that their bodies are their own and that they have the right to make decisions about their body. This includes letting your child decide if they would like to offer or receive a hug or kiss family members or friends rather than making them.

Encourage your child to pay attention and respect other people's cues about personal boundaries by watching other's body language. For example, a person may take a few steps back to protect their space or they may move over slightly when someone sits too close to them.

Practice with your child what they can say and do if they were in a situation where they didn't feel comfortable.

Encourage your child to speak up if something doesn't feel right.

Encourage your child to ask for consent (e.g., ask first if you can give someone a hug).

Teach your child to respect 'no' messages. For example, if your child is roughhousing with another child, and the other child says "Stop" they must respect that message.

Teach your child about protecting privacy and online safety. Help them understand the importance of seeking permission before sharing something like a photo or video that is about someone else.

For more information, go to Technology & Media.

'Okay' vs. 'Not Okay' Touch

One way people form connections and attachment to each other, is through touch. Touches are important because they can make us feel loved and cared about (like hugs, kisses, cuddles, a pat on the back, and high fives). However it's important that your child understands the difference between an 'okay' touch and a 'not okay' touch.

There are 5 main messages behind this idea:

Teach your child that their body is their own and no one can touch it or look at it without their permission. Inappropriate touches are wrong and are against the law. Talking about this idea at an early age, using the correct name for body parts, and teaching your child which parts of their body are "private", will help them understand what is okay and not okay. They should also be taught to respect others when someone says 'no' to them, no matter what.

Help your child recognize how they feel when they are in safe, uncomfortable and unsafe situations. Emphasize that your child should pay attention to how a touch makes them feel and their 'uh-oh' feelings. Even if a touch feels good, but they get an 'uh-oh' feeling, this kind of touch is not okay.

Be a trusted adult - one your child can tell anything to. Talk to them about who the other trusted adults in their lives are. They could be anyone from another family member or close family friend, to their neighbour, teacher or coach.

There are no secrets around touch and all kinds of touch can be talked about. Secrets that makes them anxious, uncomfortable, scared or depressed are not good. Encourage them to share with yourself or another trusted adult.

Always believe what you've been told. When a child tells you they have been touched, treated, or spoken to in a way that feels uncomfortable, unsafe or hurtful, believe them, get more information, and keep them safe.

Sexual Consent

Sexual activity includes kissing, sexual touching and sexual intercourse (oral, anal, and vaginal). Sexual consent means both partners agree to the sexual activity and understand what they're agreeing to. Consent is the basis or foundation of sexual relationships. Consent must be given for every sexual activity, every time. Sexual consent is about a person's right to make their own choice about sexual activity.

Tips for Talking about Sexual Consent with Older Children and Teens

It's important to talk to your child or teen about consent. Here are some tips for talking about sexual consent:

Talk about your family values and about sexuality.

Talk about personal boundaries.

Have your child think about situations where they might have to be clear about personal boundaries.

Talk about sexual consent, coercion, pressure, harassment, manipulation and sexual assault. Tell your child that they have a voice and you'll listen to them.

Talk about the legal, social and emotional consequences of sexual assault.

Talk about protecting privacy, online safety, sexting and sharing images intended to be private.

For more information, Technology & Media.

Important Points about Sexual Consent

When it comes to sexual consent, there are some important ideas to understand and talk with your child about.

Consent is freely given. Agreeing to do something is consent only if it's voluntary. If a person feels forced or bullied, or there's something to lose by saying 'no' (e.g., safety or a relationship), it's not consent.

'No' always means 'no' whether given verbally or non-verbally. A lack of affirmative positive, freely given 'yes' is also a 'no'.

A 'yes' isn't consent if someone is coerced. Examples of coercion are if the person pressures, pesters, threatens, guilt trips, blackmails, intimidates, bullies, or harasses someone.

Both partners agree to consent and both have a clear understanding of what they're agreeing to. A consent conversation includes asking, answering and negotiating.

Consent is a positive, voluntary, active and conscious agreement to engage in sexual activity. When someone's consenting, they agree and are confident in their decision to consent. Body language and verbal language should both give the same positive message.

Both people feel safe and comfortable. Safety and comfort (with themselves, their body, their partner and the situation) creates an environment where each person can freely take part in the consent conversation.

For consent to happen, a person needs to have the chance to communicate 'no'.

Consent is ongoing. One person asks permission for an activity and another person gives it. This conversation continues as the activity continues or changes. The person who starts the sexual contact or who wants to move to the next level of intimacy is the one who must ask for and clearly get consent before continuing with the sexual contact.

Consent can be taken away at any time. At any point, someone can change their mind and withdraw consent. Consent given before doesn't apply to any activities that happen later.

You can't assume consent because people are in a relationship. You can't assume consent just because it was given for the same activity before. Permission must be asked for and given each time an activity begins, changes, or continues.

Consent can't be assumed or implied. Flirting, clothing, sexual texts or social media communication is not consent.

Communication that's not clear or is confusing isn't consent. If there's any uncertainty that someone is agreeing to do something, the person starting the activity must ask permission, then wait until permission is clearly given before starting anything.

'No' always means 'no', whether given verbally or non-verbally: A 'yes' that's not positive or freely given is also a 'no'.

A 'yes' is not consent if someone feels pressured, forced, threatened, guilty, blackmailed, intimidated, bullied or harassed.

Silence, not answering, or not resisting physically is not consent.

People who are drunk, high, sleeping or unconscious can't give consent, either legally or practically. To have clear communication about consent, both people should be sober and alert.

Consent is necessary for sexting.

If you decide to send a sext, it should always be your choice.

Sending a sext one time doesn't mean you have to do it again.

Sending a private sext to someone doesn't give that person permission to share it with other people.

For more information, see our information on Sexting.

Consent and the Law

In Canada, the age of consent is the legal age when a person can make a decision to have sexual intercourse. The law states that a 16 year old can consent to sex, except if the:

other person is in a position of authority (e.g., teacher, coach, or employer)

sexual activity will take advantage of the person (e.g., pornography, prostitution, or trading sex for safety)

There are 'close in age' exceptions to this law:

14 and 15 year olds may consent to sex if the partner is less than 5 years older.

12 and 13 year olds may consent to sex if the partner is less than 2 years older.

Children younger than 12 cannot consent to any type of sexual activity. Having sex with a child younger than 12 is against the law and is sexual abuse.

What to Know about Sexual Assault

Sex without consent is sexual assault.

Sexual assault can happen to anyone of any age and gender. Anyone of any age and gender can commit assault.

The term 'perpetrator' is used for someone who commits an assault. They are fully responsible for the sexual assault even if they may not have been legally punished for that crime.

The term 'offender' is used for someone who commits an assault and is charged for that crime.

The term 'survivor' usually refers to a person who's been sexually assaulted. If the person identifies as 'victim', one would use that same language. The word 'victim' is often used by police or in a legal sense.

Messages about how to prevent being sexually assaulted (e.g., don't wear revealing clothes) do not reduce sexual assaults. Instead, they make people who have been assaulted feel shameful and then may not access support services. These messages excuse the perpetrator.

Prevention messages should be aimed at possible perpetrators with the goal of preventing them from assaulting people (e.g., clothing does not provide consent).

What to do if Your Child Is Sexually Assaulted

If your child has been assaulted, they may come to you for help. You will likely go through all types of feelings and reactions (e.g., shock, anger, fear, guilt, or anxiety)-these are all normal. The way that you respond to your child is important. Positive and supportive responses are more likely to help your child as they recover from the assault.

If your child tells you that they've been sexual assaulted, here are some supportive things you can do or say:

Listen. Stay calm and give them your full attention. Let them know you hear what they told you.

Believe. Believe what they tell you. Say, "I believe you." Let them know that talking about the assault takes courage and strength.

Be compassionate. You can say, "You do not deserve this."

Stress that it's not their fault. Survivors usually blame themselves. Remind them that only the perpetrator is responsible for what happened.

Know where to get help. Ask them if they've reached out to a support service. Let them know they can call a distress helpline or sexual assault support agency.

For more information, visit our Additional Resources page.

Helpful Tools

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Consent - Parents | Teaching Sexual Health

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As a parent, you may have heard the word 'consent', but you might not know what it means or what it includes. Simply put, consent is permission for something to happen or an agreement to do something. Consent needs respect and communication. Consent is an important concept for children to learn about from an early age.

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What is RSE?

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It stands for Relationships Education (RE) and Relationships and Sex Education (RSE). Relationships Education will be taught in primary schools, and Relationships and Sex Education in secondary schools (though primary schools wishing to teach age-appropriate RSE can do so as long as parents are consulted about what will be covered). Parents should note that the science curriculum in all maintained schools also includes content on human development, including reproduction, which may apply in an age-appropriate way to primary schools. There is no right to withdraw children from classes covering the science curriculum.

See the sections below for more details about what RE/RSE involves, what parents' rights are, and what the reaction has been to the changes so far.

Will RE/RSE be taught at my child's school?

Why has RE/RSE been introduced and updated?

Part 1: Relationships Education - What is RE?

What is taught in RE?

Can I withdraw my child from RE?

Part 2: Relationships and Sex Education - What is RSE?

What is taught in RSE?

Part 3: Parents and RE/RSE - Will I have a say in what is taught in RE/RSE?

Can I withdraw my child from RSE if I wish to?

What do I do if I want to withdraw my child from RSE or raise issues?

Can RSE also be taught in primary schools?

Can I withdraw my child from RSE if it is taught at primary school?

What has the response been to the new curriculum? 1. Parents

What has the response been to the new curriculum? 2. Politicians

What has the response been to the new curriculum? 3. Faith communities

Case studies

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Relationships Education and Relationships and Sex Education (RE RSE)

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RE/RSE means Relationships Education (RE) and Relationships and Sex Education (RSE). Relationships Education will be taught in primary schools, and Relationships and Sex Education in secondary schools (though primary schools wishing to teach age-appropriate RSE can do so as long as parents are consulted about what will be covered).

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Relationship and sex education is much more than talking to children about reproduction. Our advice to parents is to follow our top tips below for speaking to your child about their bodies and relationships, this will make the transition to talking about Sex much easier.

Ten Top Tips for Parents

1. From the very beginning always refer to parts of their bodies by the correct terms, for example, boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

2. Ensure they are aware of the 4 parts of their body no one should touch unless they want them to: the genital area (penis, vagina), bottom, chest and mouth.

3. Reassure them they can come to you if ANYONE touches them or asks them to keep a secret (surprises are ok, secrets are not).

4. Never expect or force them to kiss people goodbye etc. We suggest that blowing kisses, shaking hands or a "high five" can be a good alternative.

5. If a child wants to touch or explore their genitals explain kindly that it's something we do in private not in public.

6. Don't encourage or tease about "boyfriends" or "girlfriends" substitute with "friends who are boys" or "friends who are girls". Feeling pressured by this can lead to problems at School and with peers. Let them be children and enjoy their friendships, there is plenty of time for closer relationships when they get older.

7. Let children know what your family values are or the School ethos regarding relationships and the way we treat others.

8. Don't assume all children are heterosexual.

9.Tell them they can always speak to you as a Parent or a trusted adult within School, to ask about things that they have seen/heard and don't understand (again don't assume they know this).

10. As a parent keep the channels of communication going, be interested, who are their friends at School? Who are their friends on-line? Make time to talk.

But how do I answer the SEX question?

At BigTalk Education we teach children in schools about reproduction from UK year 4 (age 8) , this includes talking about the bodies of men and women and how a baby is made. To help parents speak to their children about this, in an age appropriate manner, we have created a book for parents and children to read together, called Bodies, Babies and Bellybuttons. This book is suitable for younger children who are asking questions about where they or babies come from.

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How to talk about sex! - BigTalk Education

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Relationship and sex education is much more than talking to children about reproduction. Our advice to parents is to follow our top tips below for speaking to your child about their bodies and relationships, this will make the transition to talking about Sex much easier. Ten Top Tips for Parents 1.

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Support your child with a negative experience online

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Keeping your child safe online

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How to protect your child against sexual exploitation

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Background

Thousands of children in the UK are at risk of being forced or manipulated into sexual activity in a form of abuse called child sexual exploitation.

This abuse can happen to any child, anywhere. Knowing what to look for is an important way you can help to protect your children.

78% of parents can't identify all the key signs of child sexual exploitation. Source:YouGov 2013

The Course

Parents Against Child Sexual Exploitation (Pace) and the Safeguarding Children e-Academy have teamed up to provide this short (20-30mins) online course.

This course will be of interest to those working with children but is NOT a replacement for a full training course; any professional seeking training in Child Sexual Exploitation should complete a full practitioners version to be competently trained in this area.

This course will help you to:

Understand child sexual exploitation.

Find out how to spot the signs.

Know who to report any concerns to.

70% of Teachers think a lack of parental knowledge is the main barrier to identifying and preventing cases of Child Sexual Exploitation. Source: YouGov 2013

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Thousands of children in the UK are at risk of being forced or manipulated into sexual activity in a form of abuse called child sexual exploitation. This abuse can happen to any child, anywhere. Knowing what to look for is an important way you can help to protect your children.

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PACE offers advice and guidance on CSE and what to do if you are concerned about your child

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Parents Against Child Exploitation (Pace) UK

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Pace is the lead national charity working with parents and carers of exploited children.

‹›

Donate to help Pace

Pace helps parents fight to keep their children safe and we rely on donations to make our work possible. Help us be there for families so that they can rebuild.

Donate

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Get the latest news and updates from Pace delivered to your inbox.

© 2020 Pace UK. All Rights Reserved.
Registered Charity No. 1092560
Company limited by guarantee in England and Wales No.4249272
View our Privacy Policy

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Pace works alongside parents and carers of children who are - or are at risk of being - exploited by perpetrators external to the family. We offer guidance and training to professionals on how child exploitation affects the whole family.

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Advice and guidance on keeping your child safe on line and reporting concerns

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Access information and resources for parents and carers on keeping your child safer online including conversation starters and video guides.

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How to help your child stay safe online

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Welcome parents and carers!

In this section you will find all the information you need to keep your child safe online.

Whether you're puzzled by parental controls or would like to get knowledgeable about gaming, this section can help. We all know that it can sometimes be challenging to keep up to speed with what children and young people are doing online. On this page you'll find a whole host of useful ways to help keep your child safe.

Looking for advice on where to begin?

The Parent and Carer Toolkit is a collection of three resources designed to help you talk to your child about their online life, manage boundaries around family internet use and point you in the direction of where to get further help and support.

Looking for more information on a topic?

Our Hot Topics include information about different online risks and advice on how to support your child in tackling them. They include advice for different ages and stages along with age appropriate conversation starters. Catch up on the latest Childnet blogs for recent news and more advice.

Looking for advice on talking to your child about staying safe online?

Use our Conversation Starters alongside our Family Agreement to help you talk to your child about staying safe online and agreeing on some boundaries together.

Looking for help with an online safety concern?

If you're worried about an online issue concerning your child, visit the pages below for more advice and reporting routes.

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Whether you're puzzled by parental controls or would like to get knowledgeable about gaming, this section can help. We all know that it can sometimes be challenging to keep up to speed with what children and young people are doing online. On this page you'll find a whole host of useful ways to help keep your child safe.

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Eyes Wide Open Campaign by Merseyside Police

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BULLYING &                            SUICIDE PREVENTION

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BULLYING &                            SUICIDE PREVENTION

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Spot the Signs Pt 4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mWyPo1lqG4

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Bedtime Stories Chapter Two - Rachel and the Rabbit Hole read by Julie Hesmondhalgh

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BULLYING &                   SUICIDE PREVENTION  

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BULLYING &                   SUICIDE PREVENTION  

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Spot the Signs Pt 3
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjgOmz37W5Y

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Bedtime Stories Chapter Two - Anabelle and the Trolls read by Michael Sheen

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BULLYING &                                 SUICIDE PREVENTION

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BULLYING &                                 SUICIDE PREVENTION

# data[].attributes.body
Spot the Signs Pt 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7wQWue80fwU

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Bedtime Stories Chapter Two - Harry and the Haters read by Carrie Hope Fletcher

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BULLYING &                                    SUICIDE PREVENTION

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BULLYING &                                    SUICIDE PREVENTION

# data[].attributes.body
Spot the Signs Pt 1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hrrhP68fYJ0

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Spot the Signs
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_cHjDcu9nfusm1aEiUfMIwcutp3G2ZkT

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https://www.papyrus-uk.org/papyrus-launch-new-guide-for-parents/