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hey im just here to say if i was ever your friend pls ask for my socials if you ever want to get back to talking again

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I have a wrestling meet tmr and I’m really nervous bc I have never had an actual match and on top of that my dad might show up and if he sees my match he will nitpick EVERYTHING

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He dumped me. I love him so much and he left me. I wanna cut myself, I want to smoke, I cant breathe. I've never loved someone like that, I've never trusted someone like that. I let him touch my body, I let him film while we did things..

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I cried on my birthday, I was fucking sad. My extended family forgot my birthday, but hey that is the usual. But.. I am jealous, my fucking grandparents remembers my brothers and cousins birthdays. I wish I was them... The other members in my family remembers my brothers and cousins. The only family that remember my birthday was my parents and brothers. I cant help but think I am the least favorite person in my family. But hey- if my extended family don't remember my birthday, at least my mom's friends do. I DON'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW THEM, BUT STRANGERS REMEMBER MY BIRTHDAY RATHER THEN MY EXTENDED FAMILY! HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT?! I just want to be someone's favorite.

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i honestly want to die i feel like god just hates mee or something like im already failing my classes and my mom wont get off my dick abt it and now i cant go anywhere until i get my grades up and i hate being at home being haome makes me want to die even more and rn im sick and i feel like shit i cant to anything for Halloween and now i just got rejected by my favorite person in the world because she likes my sibling i hate my life i feel like everyone id just out to get me i hate school to i cant stand being around all those people i dont like im just so tired being alive hurts but the thought of death scares me as well i just want to be happy thats all i ask for i prayed so hard that god would let me have a good relationship just once and do me this one single fucking favor but EVERY FUCKING TIME i want something everything goes to shit i know its wrong to feel this way but why does everyone else get to be happy what abt me? why would i be put on this earth if my life was just going to suck this bad nothing turns out right for me i never get what i want why does everyone else get to have a loving relationship why am i left out of all of this like honestly i just want to know why

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im alive bro, shit js happemed

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life sucks sometimes i want to die but i know i dont because the thought of death is scary but i dont want to live like this anymore i want to feel better i want to feel normal i want to be happy god i cnt remember the last time i was happy for more than a second ive been using drugs to help me weed just calms me down and i know that isnt right and its not good ive been trying to stop smoking weed and vaping but idk how i mean i really really tried but i cant do anything right i just cant i suck im a horrible person that no one should care about im horible i want someone to tell me how much i suck and how shitty of a person i am i odnt want to hear it from me i want to hear it from someone else so i know im not as crazy as i sound i want everyone to hate me they should what do they see in me i am not a good person i know this does everyone else see it? it cant just be me i want to scream i want to scream so loud but i cant i can hardly cry i hate my life i hate my step siblings i hate my dad i hate my feelings i hate my face and my stupid body that is oddly built i want to sink into my bed and die and never return without anyone to care or even notice im gone i want to be alone everything is so loud i hear everything i cant sleep because every little noise i can hear and it makes me feel like im going crazy and i feel so bad because im being so mean to people i care about but im tired im just so fucking tired i dont know what to do its only the start of the year and i cant even stay awake through half of my classes im already failing almost all my classes whats the point of living life sucks i want to die

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for august(sorry idk what your name is at this point 

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for august(sorry idk what your name is at this point 

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i want you to talk to me its been a while and it honestly scares me you go through so much and all i want to know is if you are okay everytime you are off for a long time i get this horrible feeling something bad happened or your not okay and i want you to be able to talk to me when you are not okay i cant help you if you dont talk to me and let me know you are okay i really do love you like a lot more than you can ever imagine you are one of my best friends in the whole world i dont care if i never met you irl or if i cant ever meet you inr i jest really want to know how your doing i enjoy talking to you like a lot and i dont know what i would do if something bad happens to you and i never talk to you again even just thinking about it makes me feel bad i know your mom isnt the best but sometimes you have to get through that it just takes time and i know just because i got to work things out with my father doesnt mean it always works out for everyone i want you to tell me what goes on in your mind the good, the bad just everything. i want to know how your day was and your plans for the next day i dont care what it is i just want to talk to you and know your okay you are my best friend and talking to you makes me feel so much better my lifes been so shitty lately and honestly im not doing okay. i think something might be wrong ith me... it might be bpd idrk but i know im showing signs of bpd and anxiety ive just been feeling awful and i cant talk to my friends about it bc i feel like im just ruining the mood and i dont want be that kind of person you know? anyways pls just talk to me i miss you -kai

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don't cut yourself. it doesn't help. you must find something else for coping, something you enjoy. you cut yourself cuz you find you desevre pain even though you do NOT. listen to music, take a walk, breath in nature. get distracted from the pain cuz you shouldn't suffer. also if you can't get on that basketball team, make your own team, a team of one is fine because you can beat a team of 100 with your skill!!!

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adults suck. let's just say that. adults put crap in this world for us kids to fix but you know it's our job as kids to clean it. all these chores are meant for them but they put them on you. and when you push through, if you push through a horrible childhood, you will be free. and you can do whatever you want, you can cut your hair however you want! you just have to get through it. get through dumb adults and then you'll be free. don't give up now

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remi, everyone leaves. it's sad when they do. but everyone comes and goes. and that's okay. there were there for a reason, for a good one or a bad one. but guess what? someone will come. someone special someone who makes you feel worth life and if nobody does? you can be that person. because you are special

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kyle it's ok to feel horrible. the bullying feels like getting swatted like a fly but guess what kyle? there's people who love you. don't cut yourself..you're not paper. don't shoot yourself. people love you, and if they don't then I can be there for you. kyle you're scared of the gun because you know it's wrong. you're not a pussy. people will mourn for your loss. don't do it. think about what you could be. you've been blessed with life. use it wisely. don't end it when there's so much of it.

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sometimes I don't wanna live because of weird men but I push on because I am special, as well as everyone else on this padlet. you are special. if you kill yourself, this world loses someone very good. someone who doesn't deserve to suffer but if you are brave. if you have the power to stand, you will put the gun down and the knife and love yourself. and go on.

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I want to end it. All of it. The bullying, the disrespect, the lying, the excluding, the pain, all of it. No one really shows they REALLY want me here and I’m just a problem so why don’t I? Well, I’m a pussy. I’m afraid to kill my self, so I just cut because that’s also hard for me to do. I know I could just take a bullet to the head but I am watched every time I have my gun. I could also steal my parent’s but they would notice immediately and shit could turn worse than it already is.

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My mom pisses me of so much-

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I don’t know what to think about my father anymore. At first, we were good and everything seemed fine until my mum got a call about my great grandmothers house and items going for sale on a yard sale, because of my mum‘s great aunt. Me and my mum were the only ones that went to the yard sale because my dad didn’t give two shits. He didn’t even wanna make an appearance, because he would just make things worse. Then I came home next couple of days, and I’ve been a teenager for officially a month now, and I haven’t really acted different much, but he still seems to be a little bit pissy at me for some odd reason so then I asked him if we had a certain movie in the house. He said that we did because I’ve been wanting to watch this movie for awhile and I didn’t know that we had it in our house so I went to go look for it and he just said go to your room just go to your room and I was very confused why and he just said I wasn’t done talking like the fuck. I never knew that you weren’t done talking. You started talking to my stepmother and looked away from me like what? You make no goddamn sense.

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ill gut the next person who says my 11 year old sister is hot. wtf is wrong w sum of you guys. its fucking so disgusting when they say they tryn 'pre-order' like you fucking sicko gtfo

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I just want to see, hear or even hold my grandmother and great-grandmother one more time. Just once. Please…..

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do you ever just feel like crying because no matter what outfit you wear you still look fucking ugly because you feel like your built weird and to fat even tho everyone says your skinny its so fucking stressful why the fuck do i have to be so ugly everyone else is so beautiful so why not me

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i just. i cant. i cant do it anymore. how much longer do i have?? ive got no more run. maybe im just burned out or something but it doesnt feel like it. anyway, i cant. my battery is dead, everyday it takes so much energy to just say hello and type in a bullshit response with excitement i dont feel. i dont have anything left and im sorry. im so sorry to everyone. you guys were always so nice to me, you didnt even know me but fuck, you all made me feel so fuzzy and warm.
-cy

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my "dad" acts like I can't go one day without walking to go get HIS kid I have to do everything for these lazy adults I have to walk for an hour to go get my moms boyfriend's kid I have to clean their house i have to cook their kids food I have to take care of their dogs like I have to do everything for them they are always coming to me when they need something done nobody else and I'm not even the oldest in the house it's fucking stupid my mom won't let me cut my hair and I already broke my brush that I just got because "my hair is too beautiful to cut" I don't care if you tell me that it's not going to grow back the same THAT IS LITERALLY THE WHOLE POINT OF CUTTING MY HAIR like i literally sob when my hair won't brush like its my hair why cant i cut it the only time i have ever cut my hair was in the 5th grade when i got an undercut it's so annoying one day im going to end up cutting it all off by myself i dont care if my mom would beat the shit out of me for it i really couldn't care less

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I am so sick of this. I hate my mother, I do everything for her and all i ask is when im on my period is for her to not yell at me and demand ten million things. and now i dont get to go to my school dance <3 im fucking sorry that my cramps hurt so bad to a point where im crying. Im sorry you cant get your fat ass up and take care of your own fucking house. I try really hard and its not enough. fuck you, I wish you would js die already. - Remi

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okay someone else left. kms.

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im gonna gut myself if one more person leaves me

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Thanks for fucking leaving me Elliot. My fucking bad i forgot abt scratch and I had no fucking way to tell you that My mom found my damn discord. You asked if you gave me your number if I would text, I said no and explained why. I barely have my fucking phone and i forget to text back.

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I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm not okay. Something's wrong, but I dont even know what it is. I feel so crappy, torn down, & sad ALL THE TIME NOW & I don't even know why. I thought I was okay for a little while, thought it went away. I could smile without draining myself. But after a week or so, it came back ! Surprise, surprise ! I don't know what to do. I just want to be happy. I want to be okay. I want the energy to smile. I want to feel like it's not a chore to talk to my friends. But I can't. I can't fix it, I can't make it go away. I'm fucking helpless. How pathetic is that huh? I just want everything to stop. Let me catch up. Stop fucking leaving me behind. I'm tired of waking up. If life is gonna crumble around me like this, just let me waste away for fucks sake, there's no point anymore. How the hell am I supposed to make it through life if I don't even know how to figure out why I'm sad. Please, I just want everything to end. Please

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I hate it here, I hate it. I hate it. I fucking hate all of it. I have 20 fucking chores and since I got the two paragraphs report on “dad’s” choice, of course he fucking chose “dangers of preteen vaping”. A little backstory, my step mum found my vape and ever since then I’ve been in trouble and I am being punished as if they would never expect me to do something like that. It’s fucking bull shit and I just want to fucking end it. My bf is saying my mum’s trying her best to get out of this shit hole but it really doesn’t seem like it. She isn’t even trying to save up and I’m so fucking stressed. I’ve gotten grounded and I feel like I just need to die bc Chris, my ‘Father” is pissed at me bc I won’t let him control me like he does to everyone else in this fucking household. On top of that they want me to act like nothing fucking happened

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damn now I feel bad for tryna murder my dad last week. he read my journal nd stuff and then took me shopping after making me talk to him for like 2 days. I see this as a win he also gave me 50 bucks

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First of all, a lot of things have happened since the last time I vented here. Such as I got into a car accident, I couldn’t feel my legs and had to learn how to re-walk, and Valentine’s Day was yesterday and I was able to fuck my bf. We got very cocky in front of his family and then railed each other. He’s never been pleasured that much and he love it. I love seeing his face and body when I’m in control because usually he’s in control but I prove him wrong some days. I fucking love him and I love being in his arms, whether I’m crying, smiling, grinding, scratching, or cuddling. It all feels right whenever I’m with him. Nothing could make me this way again. He already wants to marry me and he said that he’s going to craft our wedding rings. The thing is that I’m going to be making his wedding ring while he makes mine. I want him to put stuff that reminds me of us in both of the rings and apart of each other. Im going to put things I love into the ring and I’m going to engrave our names into it. He doesn’t know about my thoughts and I want to tell him but I can’t. He would say that he doesn’t want me to do anything for him like that because he wants to treat me like a queen, unless we are in bed. Whenever we are in bed I am his baby girl, his slut, HIS. And only his.

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god just tell me you hate me already...im tired of everyone pretending that they like me just tell me you dont like me at least that would be better than being ignored and its not like its just one person its practically all of my friends shit i dont even know why i call people my friend anymore im i really that useless? god im so pathetic why am i even here?

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for my beloved father (tw: very violent thoughts, patricide)

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for my beloved father (tw: very violent thoughts, patricide)

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if I could, id fucking bash his face in with a beer bottle until he fucking bleeds out and dies. he's such a pretentious asshole and a degenerate maggot. hes a filthy fuck and I want him to just fucking divorce my mom instead of hurting her emotionally consistently having affairs with random ladies. turns out one of his 'loves' is barely a adult. hes so disgusting and hideous there is no way that man Is my father.

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My mom fucking took away my electronic privileges cause I said "I love you" to my girlfriend yesterday. Then is now threatening to send me back to my old school because I have an F in one of my classes because the damn teacher won't put in fucking grades. Went through my fucking phone again. She says she is doing this because she cares about me when that is bull shit. She is making very fucking suicidal. Oh and- she is also threatening not to let me go to prom and is saying that she wasted her money on a prom dress when she is controlling her own actions, not me. I don't feel like arguing with her anymore. It just gets me in more trouble.. I just want to be happy, and I am only my happiest when I am with my new friends at my school and I am going to lose that... I don't want to lose that.. I hanging on by a thread, and those people are the reason why I am hanging on. If I go back to my old school, I will fucking kill myself without hesitating.. I am using my school laptop to be on..

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it feels like everything around me is falling apart. my friend is about to die, my best friend doesnt like me back, my childhood best friend doesnt want to talk to me. i keep getting ignored by basically everyone, my mom and sep dad cant stop arguing for five seconds, i hate all of my siblings, shit i cant even sleep as good as i used to what the hell is wrong with me? am i just not a likable person? please someone just tell me because i am so confused

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dont you love when your bf doesnt tell you what hes planning so you dont answer his call then he tells you its something youve been begging for that he wasnt gonna make you work for but now since you didnt answer the call cause you didnt know hes not gonna give it to you unless you give him something totally not crying bc my ass is so sensitive i cant even handle that

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dont you love when your bf doesnt tell you what hes planning so you dont answer his call then he tells you its something youve been begging for that he wasnt gonna make you work for but now since you didnt answer the call cause you didnt know hes not gonna give it to you unless you give him something totally not crying bc my ass is so sensitive i cant even handle that

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how could you be so calm when you know you could die at any moment what is wrong with you...you cant leave..not yet i love you so much i dont want you to leave.... please dont leave i want this all to be a dream i wish the doctor never said you only had a couple of months to live please tell me this isnt real i dont want this to be real i want to wake up, i want to wake up and this all be a dream, you're one of the coolest friends i ever had i want you to stay please just stay

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I just realized my copying mechanism is just me inflicting pain on myself bye tapping really hard on myself, scratching my hand and neck hard, and biting my nails to wear they could almost bleed…

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Its all my fucking fault. If I wouldn't have told my coaches that I thre up and wouldn't have been such a wimp them I would feel bad, I would be in so much pain, I wouldn't want to cry every night, and my mother wouldn't have to rent a new car and my mum would have to be in so much fucking pain. I hate the fact that I was a pussy and didn't push through it. I feel like shit because now we have to go to the chiropractor every other day and I wouldn't have seen the ER. I hate it.

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i wanna be her golden retriever boy so bad.

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i wanna be her golden retriever boy so bad.

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i cant stop thinking i want to have a talk with both my mom and my father in the same room but i dont want to cause any fights to happen, i want to scream from the top of my loungs at both of them i want them to know how they made me feel i want them to know that i like the both of them even if my faller abused me i love both of them but they hurt me so much and i just feel like nothing will ever gt better i want to scream and cry i want to feel better, i want to be better i want to be someone they can love i want to be me but i cant do that because every little mistake separates us even more i just want this pain to end i want to be a normal family like in the movies god why cant life just be like the movies... i want them to get along so badly i want to feel normal again i feel like a whole part of me is missing and my mom's boyfriend isnt helping yes i know he loves us like we were is real kids but we arnt and he needs to understand that i want him to understand that after everything that my father did to me i will always choose him i know its stupid but i just feel like he can change i know he can change but nothing can be fixed unless we can all just sit down and have a sivilized conversation with each other like old times no i dont want my mom and him to get back together i want them both to be happy i want us all to be happy i want my mom and him to start talking like friends nothing more just friends. sorry for not being o and talking things hve just ben so hard for me lately

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Just started a new semester in school it’s the second day and I’m been shaking all day and anxious. Can’t wait tell today end

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I just hate it when your friends will be like “oh my god I have no one” and shit like that. Like I’m I even here!? It’s like they just forget about you, as if you where never there friend

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I miss you so bad it hurts.

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if anyone wants to vent to me my discord is Moss 🦋#8696

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if anyone wants to vent to me my discord is Moss 🦋#8696

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Why? What did I do wrong? I was perfect. Why am I not good enough for the bimbo loving tv dad and my alcoholic mom? Not even drunk people love me

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im so fucking done with my moms boyfriends kids like wtf are you doing breaking our glass door you're fucking psycho and then you want to talk about my mom calling her a bitch and all that she did not have to spend over 400 dollars on your Christmas presents you are the most ungrateful person i ever met like have some self respect its fucking crazy bro his kids only care about themselves and then he wants to blame everything on the past like bitch my father abused me and my mom and im not acting like a fucking psycho and you say oh its different you're mom fucking left you thats it she didnt abuse you all she did was leave ive had it way worse yeah i get it losing a parent fucking sucks get over it its been so many years since your mom left you wtf is wrong with this world latley its like no one cares about anything anymore like they dont even care about themselves they obviously have no self respect not even a little and you hate my mom? the one that has been taking care of you for four whole years she didnt have to put up with all of your shit she chose to and honestly i dont know why if i was her i would have left your father so fast you guys think its so cool to put your hands on my mom i will fuck you up dont play with me yeah i talk she on her sometimes but you will never catch me putting my hands on my mom i love that woman to death and for you to go and do that shit is not going to slide im tired of my moms boyfriend as well like how are you gonna stand up for that little bitch that broke our back door oh right because its your kid but now if that was me you would beat the shit out of me but no you only care about your kids

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i cant ever sleep my mom is always yelling at me talking about my grades and how oh maybe if i went to sleep i would get good grades but thats the thing i CANT sleep and i dont know why i stay awake every night just staring at my ceiling not getting any sleep and just waiting time, you think i choose to stay up? you dont know how hard i try to sleep but i cant sleep when all of these thoughts are racing through my head and keeping me up and im so sorry that im not as happy as i used to be i just dont have the energy and yes i know thats not an excuse but i really am trying anf i just need someone to see that i have been trying my hardest all this time nothing is like how it used to be i wish i had all of my old friends i know i have a whole bunch of new friends but they just feel so distant from me and that they dont like me maybe im over reacting but its like no one likes me and thats fine i completely understand but i just want one person who cares shit i cant even eat properly anymore all my clothes are getting to big for me but i just cant get myself to eat i cant even get out of bed i mean whats the point? what is the point of anything someone please just give me a reason to get out of bed everyday i just want to be happy...why cant i just be happy its like im just getting worse

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I cannot stand any of them, all they fucking do is talk shit about their friends and whine and complain like little babies. wtf am I supposed to do?fix ur fucking problems? bitch how? leave me alone. its not a fucking pity party. you guys get mad when I'm not online like your my fucking partners or smth, so what? I was fucking busy not being a dramatic pick me.

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Bro school is to fucking tress full I’m only 12 yet I’m stressing over school work just because in I want to be able join girls basketball. My life is fucking hell

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i hate this place i absolutly hate it im tired of all of my step siblings and parents one of my step sisters is a bitch all the tim and they really think that i wasnt to share a room with her how stupid can someone possible be to put me and her in the same room both my mom and her boyfriend knows that me and her hate each other i hate my whole family everyone sucks why would my mom get with this stupid man and she lets him put his hands on me he's not even my dad and im glad he hasnt married you because if he does im actually going to kill myself i cant wait until im old enough to move out of this hell hole i swear when i turn 17 they better let me move out because im not going to stay here for longer than i have to be i dont care if im going to have to drop out of school or something like that i will do whatever just to get out of this stupid house all my moms boyfriend does is get me in trouble everytime one of his kids mess with me it so annoying everything is always my fault no matter what i do i will never be good enough for anyone but i dont really care about anything anymore i dont care if you hate me its not like i like myself that much either i cant do anything right and i know that that's why everyone leaves no body ever cares about me so why should i care about everyone else i dont have to live up to anyone expectations you think i really wanted to be here? i swear im just so tired of waking up in the morning i wish i could just sleep all day i dont want to be here for Christmas break i want to leave but knowing my mom i wont be able to go anywhere because her stupid boyfriend told her to say no she always listens to him she never listens to us i wis they would just break up he is just as bad as sean they both hit us so what is the difference you say you left our dad because of him hitting us but you get a boyfriend that does the same thing you dont care about anyone but yourself. why is everything always me why do i have such bad luck? i have been doing so could but no matter how hard i try im not enough and i just really really want to be good enough for someone just one person thats all im asking i dont need a whole bunch of people to care about me but please just someone anyone someone just care its so exhausting

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I just can't keep doing this anymore.

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Ofc i get broken up with on the week of finals just my luck am i right? god...why cant i be good enough for anyone? i just want someone to love me pls someone just love me im so tired of this, no one ever cares about my problems but they can go on and on about theres, and people call me selfish...yeah right...

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When you don’t feel like you belong..it’s hard to live without feeling useless….

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#myexkeepslyingtomeandpromisedwecouldbefriendsbutactslikeshehatesmesoisentheraparagraph

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I love how parents say they fucking have your back, but then they dont fucking trust you

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sorry I let u all down but then again not really. fuck sorry for being toxic tho

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she was supposed to give me the note she wrote me for our one month today. Such a pity how even the one person you thought would never hurt you, broke your heart into a million little pieces.

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I just let everybody down….

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she broke up w me yesterday...um..yeah.

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anyone elses mom keep promising to let them to her make up then tells them no lol

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So I was watching the chucky movie, seed of chucky, and Tiffany’s kid was indecisive about their gender identity. I loved it that they where including gender identity so I told my dad about it and we have also been arguing abt what cisgender meant when I looked it up and proved him wrong, he replied with "Honestly at the end of the day I couldn't care because its just a mental illness" like wtf!!!!

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God dammit. I already miss him as if he’s fucking dead. He’s just a couple states over but it’s still hard. He tries his best to stay positive but it’s hard when almost nothing can make me cry but he can make me cry in a fucking second, but I love it. It hurts but the pain also feels nice….

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make it stop god please stop stop stop stop. make the nightmares go away please just let them end please I'm so scared and so jumpy and they all call me a paranoid wuss but oh my nobody sees what I see. nobody know what nightmares I have.

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FUCK PLEASE PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU LET HER STAY PLEASE WHO EVERS WRITING MY STORY PLEASE I LOVE HER DONT DO THIS TO ME STOP

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So.. On top of losing my mom.. My bf js killed himself. I keep losing ppl.. Im so fucking scared-..

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I know I'm being really distant.. I know it affects you too.. You're my best friend, and I love you very much.. I just.. I need some time. I just found out my mom is gone. And I mean, GONE gone.. She can't come back. My dad still won't tell me how. But I just.. I feel so empty right now.. Before, I was able to put on a smile, and get on everyday and comfort y'all, because I care so much for each and every one of you. But.. Right now, I don't even have the energy for that.. I promise, I won't leave you forever. I will be back. I just need some time. I'm sorry..

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Bro there’s these 3 boys in my home room who are annoying as fuck they stole my snack wich was blueberry bread and I needed that because I’m going to be waiting outside school for while then they keep messing with my friend and stole there iPad! Like they want to die well they have it coming because Carmas a bitch even more when the person helps it…

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fuck you. you know who you are.

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My best friend, Van is moving away to North Carolina. His parents are travel nurses so I understand but we got so close, so fucking quickly…. I really wish I could kidnap him and let him stay with me, I will even make sure he does good in school and everything. He’s my age but I can still take care of him, I don’t care if he has to be my responsibility. I just want him to fucking stay!! No one in my family fucking understands, I just really want to hold him (yes I like him) and tell him it’s going to be alright, when we both know it’s not. I’m going to dread going to school after he leaves because he is the sunshine in my day. I look forward to seeing him everyday. I got lucky with him and the world is taking him away from me. I will even fucking fit myself in a box or suitcase and he can take me with him. I can live underneath his bed and easily get a job, I’m pretty good at working so I can help provide. My family is also talking about politics and the diesel running out and the world needing in about six months. They say they don’t want to scare me but prepare me but it’s just adding more stress from my Great-Grandmother dying and then dealing with my Great-Grandfathers death from nine years ago and my Grandmothers death date coming up soon, I wasn’t too close to any of them but it still fucking hurts. God I wish things could go back to when I was carefree and had more time. On top of that my teachers and classmates expect everything out of me and it emotionally and physically drains me but they don’t seem to notice, or care. The ONLY fucking person that seems to care is Van because he understands what’s going on and he didn’t know me when I was younger but we are so fucking similar. He just knows that we both feel the same way!! I just want people to understand and the world to give me a god damn break.

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I wish I could die I’m just a disappointment

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You ever just wish you could die but are afraid of death and just the thought of not being able to breathe but knowing it’s a possibility because you have trouble breathing every day.

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oooooo i cant wait till 8:30 man i swear on my life if you dont pull up like yall said you would ima find you guys and beat your asses personally, you wanna come for my family if you wanna run your mouth you better have hands to back it up, oh so you got family by your side i do to bitch see what happens when you pull up i got my uncle, my aunt, my dad, my grandma, my cousins, and my siblings dont chicken out when you show up cuz i promise you its on sight i got guns to so run your mouth i got you

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I don’t think my parents care anymore about my feelings nor my mental health. They’ll say hurtful things then just tell me to get out of my feelings, like how the fuck do I just get out of my  feelings!? Or there like “just joking gees” and laugh it off like it doesn’t matter. When I told them I’m getting really bad sleep they just say stop lying and using that as an excuse to be grumpy or any feeling that’s not happy! How the fuck I’m I so posed to be happy when we don’t have a house and are living in hotels!? I can’t even cry in front of them or anyone really! I’m just glad I have a friend that cares about how I feel…

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what's the point of trying? all my parents do is fight but I can't even take care of myself because I don't talk to people cant i just get a moment to myself, I'm sorry i can't socialize at the moment because of the things going on at home and im sorry that my feelings are such an inconvenience for everyone

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Knsbkskkx I'm gonna fucking kill myself

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Istg. I get in so much trouble every single time I lay a single hand on my brother- but when he slaps the shit outta me? Oh no. He just gets a small little talk. His dumbass is gonna be a fucking wife beater and it's gonna be their fault. I got yelled at by my stepmom, and then told I should have no reason to be crying. Then, the second my dad gets home, I get yelled at again. "You're 14 you should know better." Right, right. So now I'm 14. I couldn't even get a happy birthday from you. From my own damn dad. I'm only 14 to you when you wanna say you have higher expectations for me. Other than that. I barely even exist to you. Just fucking send me away. I can't deal with this anymore. I can't even cry without getting yelled at. I'm sorry, okay? But I can't keep trying for something I'll never reach. Your expectations are unreachable.

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I'm so tired. I'm tired of pretending like I'm happy. I'm tired of fucking scratching myself till I bleed just so I don't breakdown when you yell at me. You act like I fucking asked to be here. You act like I'm actually fucking happy to be here. You always fucking tell me I have no need to cry cause "I'm not in trouble" but if I'm not in trouble, why the hell are you yelling at me. Such fucking bullshit. Just fucking get rid of me already. Throw me out, send me to live with someone else. Idfc. Anything to get away from here. Please

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FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKVFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

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FUCKING LISTEN TO ME FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKVFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKFUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

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I just want to go to fucking sleep. I didn't ask to be cursed with all this awful shit. every morning they ask me how I sleep, its good mama I slept fine. the eyebags say otherwise.

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Fucking hell. I can't sleep anymore, which makes me super sick, therefore I can't fucking eat without puking. I'm dropping weight like it's nothing, because of that. My bf broke up with me and I think I get butterflies when I talk to my bsf. What the actual fuck is my life.

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I'm sorry. I'm sorry I won't break up with him, even though you tell me it'll be for the best, cause he's clearly hurting me. I know you love me and care for me, but I can't fucking hurt people. Im sorry im an attention-desperate whore. Im sorry Im making you stay. You're hurting yet i still have the fucking audacity to be so fucking selfish. Im sorry im so damn sensitive lately. I know i cry too easily. But certain things scare me so much to the point where i want to fucking puke my guts out. I'm sorry i cant be the perfect daughter. Im sure you'd come back for me if i was, right? And im sure id get yelled at much less too. Im sorry i still call you Mia instead of mom. But the thought makes it so hard to breathe. Im not ready to give up on her even though ik shes not coming back. Im sorry i have a fucking breakdown every night. Theres just so much that hurts and i dont know how to control it or make it stop. Im sorry Im not ready to date you again. Im just so fucking terrified from the last time we tried that. Im sorry. Ill get better, i promise

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Fucking hell I'm gonna have a breakdown again

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I miss my mom. My birth mom. Not my step mom. It's been almost 7 years now, I believe. That's when her and my dad split up. My dad took me. I haven't seen her since they split up. I still think about her a lot though. I mean, she was like- my best friend ig. Sometimes i let myself sit here and pretend i dont know why she hasn't come back, or at least tried to message or call. But i do. Ofc I do. She's replaced me. The new guy shes with, has a little girl. Who's named.. Kaydence. My name. And I bet she calls her Munchkin too. I bet she dresses her up and does her hair. I bet she brags to everyone about how pretty and adorable and fucking amazing her little girl is. Because thats what she did for me. I talk to my dad ab it sometimes. He feels bad. The last time we talked ab her, i broke down, asking why she hasn't tried anything. He had no answer. He doesn't know either. Sometimes I feel like i was just a barbie to her. Something to dress up and then toss aside when the newer version came out.

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Sometimes I wish I could drop outta school 🤡 like. I'm not even learning anything there. Of course, I'm only a freshman. Still underage. Parents would never let me. But like- everyone there is just.. Omfg so bitchy. I can't even get enough sleep during the night to even actually pay attention in class. I sleep through half of my classes. I literally have ONE friend. And we've been friends since like- 6th grade so.. Not much of an accomplishment. I mean, the only thing i have to be proud of is that im somehow still passing. How tf do i manage that?? I have no fucking clue.

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Imagine being so fucking toxic that you tell your ex to kill themselves! You fucking told me to kms over and over. Hell you even called me names.

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i hate this place i want to leave....every night they always have to fight i wish they would just be quiet....just shut up... i hate it here i fucking /hate/ it why cant i just have a happy family why cant we just be normal every night i cant sleep because of one of there stupid fights

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UHBBJJNNJFIS I MISS HIM AGAIN 😃🔫 Jacob. That fucking dumbass that destroyed me. Why can't I let go of you?? I know how much you hurt me. I still fucking cry over it. I mean, I cry every night. For various reasons- but you're always part of the reason. I hate that I miss you. I really do. Yet- I can't just seem to hate YOU. I hate that I miss you, I hate that I cry over you, I hate that you hurt me, I hate that I still think about you. And yet- with everything I hate about you, and everything you did, I can't force myself to actually hate you. You played me. Cheated on me. Used me for my body. Got aggressive when I wasn't ready to let you fuck me. Cheated on me, then broke up with me a few hours later. Came back to me a couple weeks later. Begged for a second chance. Told me you were sorry. I let you back in. Honestly, what kind of fucking idiot am I? I know I'm fucking stupid, but why use me like that? Because I loved you? You're so fucked up. I wish I could stop crying over you. You dated my friends after you cheated on the girl you cheated on me with. Then you cheated on them too. I hate myself. Not you, but myself. Because I was so quick to throw myself at you as soon as you said "I love you," but I can't fucking help it. I just wanted the damn love I can't get at home. I crave it so much- and you helped for a little while. Hell, I was really happy. Till you started pushing me into things I wasn't ready for. Im sorry im so sensitive to anything sexual. It's still scares me okay? I had to deal with my own damn grandpa using me when i was little. So yes, i am scared of sexual things. But i tried for you, didn't i? I let you kiss my neck, even let you touch me. I was trying. Im sorry i wasn't enough. Im sorry i wasn't ready to give enough. I miss you. I mjss being held by you. I miss you singing songs to me while i fell asleep. I miss your hugs. Your cuddles. Your random kiss on the cheek. Turning to see you smiling at me like i was the prettiest person you've ever seen. I miss it all. Even if it was a joke to you. Im sorry im such a screw up.. Just come back..? Please?

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I caught feelings for someone again. Help 🥲

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shut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut upshut up

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so noisy.... all my parent do is yell at each other they never shut up, i just wish they would be quiet

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my nerves won’t calm and I’m so stressed bro.
can someone give me tips on stuff to smoke and how to get things as a minor ?

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Hell, my head feels foggy and I cant breathe right

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Kill me. My stepmother is pissed at me once again for whatever dumbass reason, and knowing her, that means she's already told my dad she's mad, which means my dad is gonna be pissed at me when he gets home. I can't eat, it makes me so fucking sick, I throw up every time I try. I feel weak as hell, can't sleep whatsoever. I feel nauseous from the lack of food, but if I eat it'll be worse. School's absolutely kicking my ass, making my parents more pissed cause I can't do anything right. Fml.

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why am i so scared of death? i think about it everyday to the point i cant breath, stupid isnt it? i just- i just really need someone to be able to talk to right now im so scared and i dont know why its so scary to think about and i cant seem to take my mind off of it, what will happen when i die? i know its common to fear the unknown but its so overwhelming everything is just so hard for me right now i cant sleep properly because im so scared that i might not wake up the next morning im so tired everyday i just want to be able to sleep...please just let me sleep

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I thought it would be nice to come out to my boyfriend as poly, so I did so..He is poly as well. So I didn't see a problem. Now I am single, funny right..?

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So.. He tried. To end it all, I mean. Razorblade and such. He's in the hospital, can't be on for a few weeks. I feel like shit. I know he misses his dad, ik he wants to be with him again. I just wish I was enough to help. If i had helped more, this wouldn't have happened. Its just like the last time. I didn't help enough, he ended up in the hospital. I dont know how else to help though. I love him so much, but i dont do good enough to show how much i love and care for him. It makes me feel like shit. Im so sorry.. I'll do better.

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Today my dad went to Walmart and I guess he picked out mine and my siblings costumes, he wants us to be ghostbusters.  When I told him that I was annoyed that he chose them and that I wanted to choose my Halloween costume he said who and I said TECHNOBLADE. He said ‘you really wanna be someone who nobody knows again?’ Last year I dressed up as Ranboo. ‘Nobody’ knows him, huh? Everyone I ask will know him. You don’t because you don’t give a shit. He asked me why and he then realized ‘oh that’s the guy who died to cancer’ he still didn’t care. Little does he know I was planning to tribute him by dressing up as him because him and Ranboo saved my fucking life but if I told him that he’d go fucking ballistic. I am so fucking done with him