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People with autism spectrum disorders may be entirely non-verbal, they may have limited useful speech, or they may be very talkative indeed. No matter what their verbal abilities, though, almost everyone on the autism spectrum has a hard time using speech in social interactions. That's because they are coping with a double challenge: their own difficulties in expressing ideas appropriately, and others' difficulties in understanding and accepting them.

Speech Versus Communication in Autism

Why would a person who can use spoken language run into problems with social communication? There are two reasons. First, people with autism often use speech in idiosyncratic ways. They may recite lines from a movie, talk endlessly about a favorite topic, or ask questions to which they already know the answer. Second, speech is just one part of social communication and, in many cases, spoken language isn't enough.

To communicate effectively, most people use much more than speech. They use body language (use of eye contact, hand gestures, body stance, etc.), pragmatic language (socially meaningful use of language), idioms, slang, and an ability to modulate tone, volume, and prosody (ups and downs of the voice). These relatively subtle tools tell others whether we're joking or serious, platonic or amorous, and much more.

Communicating also requires an understanding of which type of speech is appropriate in a particular situation (polite at school, loud with friends, etc).

Making a mistake can result in serious misunderstandings. For example, a loud voice at a funeral can be interpreted as disrespect, while very formal speech at school can be read as "nerdy."

Why People with Autism Have Problems Communicating

All of the skills involved with social communication presuppose an understanding of complex social expectations, coupled with an ability to self-modulate based on that understanding.

People with autism generally lack those abilities.

Often, people with high functioning autism ( Asperger syndrome) find themselves frustrated when their attempts to communicate are met with blank stares or even laughter. This happens all too frequently because people with autism may have:

Delayed or unusual speech patterns (many autistic children, for example, memorize video scripts and repeat them word for word with the precise intonation of the TV characters)

High-pitched or flat intonation

Lack of slang or "kidspeak"

Difficulty understanding tone of voice and body language as a way of expressing sarcasm, humor, irony, etc.

Lack of eye contact

Inability to take another's perspective (to imagine oneself in someone else's shoes). This disability is often referred to as lack of "theory of mind."

Many people with autism are able to compensate for social communication deficits by learning rules and techniques for better social interaction. Often, these skills are taught through a combination of speech therapy and social skills training. The reality, however, is that many people with autism will always sound and appear slightly different from their peers.

Resources for Building Social Communication Skills

Most children with autism (and some adults) participate in therapies aimed at improving social communication skills.

Speech-Language Therapy can focus not only on correct pronunciation, but also on intonation, back-and-forth conversation, and other aspects of pragmatic speech

Social Skills Therapy may involve autistic individuals in group activities that require practice in sharing, collaboration, and related skills

View Article Sources

​​Sources​:

Adams, C. The Social Communication Intervention Project: a randomized controlled trial of the effectiveness of speech and language therapy for school-age children who have pragmatic and social communication problems with or without autism spectrum disorder. Int J Lang Commun Disord. 2012 May-Jun;47(3):233-44. doi: 10.1111/j.1460-6984.2011.00146.x.

Tierney, CD et al. 'Look at me when I am talking to you': evidence and assessment of social pragmatics interventions for children with autism and social communication disorders. Curr Opin Pediatr. 2014 Apr;26(2):259-64. doi: 10.1097/MOP.0000000000000075.

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Why Your Autistic Child Can Speak But Can't Communicate

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People with autism spectrum disorders may be entirely non-verbal, they may have limited useful speech, or they may be very talkative indeed. No matter what their verbal abilities, though, almost everyone on the autism spectrum has a hard time using speech in social interactions.

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Autism is a developmental disorder that affects a child's communication, behavior, and social skills. This new edition has been updated to reflect current trends and technologies used in diagnosing and treating autism. Parents will find balanced and up-to-date information on therapy, education, health care, and other areas.

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Kids with autism have a hard time communicating, which can be frustrating for autistic kids and for their peers. In this intimate yet practical book, author Daniel Stefanski, a fourteen-year-old boy with autism, helps readers understand why autistic kids act the way they do and offers specific suggestions on how to get along with them.

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In the special needs world, the most basic skills are called Adaptive Living Skills, or ADL's. More advanced skills, such as doing laundry, catching a bus, or following a daily schedule, are sometimes called Life Skills or Skills of Daily Living. While these skills aren't critical for survival, they are extremely important for anyone who plans to work and recreate in a modern community.

Everyone needs certain skills to simply get through the day. Skills related to eating, dressing, and personal hygiene are absolute requirements for anyone wishing to live even a semi-independent life. In addition to these very basic skills are the many skills we use each day to navigate life at home and in the community.

Most people learn ADLs and many of the skills of daily living at a young age. They learn through a combination of instruction, imitation, and trial and error. For example, a child may learn to bathe himself by remembering the experience of being bathed, by imitating a parent's actions, and by discovering for herself that if you run very hot water for too long the water will be too hot for comfort.

Why Life Skills Are Taught Differently to Children With Special Needs

Children with special needs such as autism, learning disabilities, or ADHD, learn differently from typical children.

That's because children with special needs:

May not develop imitation skills until much later than average-or not at all.

May not develop the ability to understand and express themselves with spoken language until much later than average-or not at all.

May not develop the desire to "be just like" or impress someone else with their skills and abilities.

May find it difficult to follow spoken instruction-particularly when the instruction includes multiples steps.

May be unaware of what is "expected" or "normal" behavior.

May lack the ability to focus on a task for extended periods of time.

May be easily frustrated.

May have sensory or cognitive challenges that stand in the way of success.

If your child has some or all of these challenges, they may not just "get" daily living skills as their typically developing peers do. But that doesn't mean they can't learn most or even all of those skills with the right teaching approach.

How Life Skills Are Taught to Children With Special Needs

Teachers, therapists, and parents have developed a set of techniques that, together or separately, can be very effective in teaching life skills to children with special needs. And the good news is that these techniques can be equally effective for teaching just about any skill to just about anyone-no matter what their abilities or challenges.

Step One: Task Analysis. Task analysis is a process for breaking down any given task into its component parts. For example, brushing teeth includes finding a toothbrush, toothpaste, and cup, putting toothpaste on the brush, brushing the bottom teeth, rinsing, brushing the top teeth, rinsing again, cleaning the brush, and putting all the equipment away properly.

Step Two: Creating a Visual Guide. Many parents create visual guides to help their children with special needs to make sense of, remember, and get comfortable with the steps involved in a task. The visual guide can include photos or clip-art style images of each step in the process.

Step Three: Prompting and Fading. At first, a child with special needs may need a lot of help in remembering and properly completing each step in a task. Prompting may involve physical, hand-over-hand help. As they learn, parents will start to "fade" the prompts. First, they'll stop using hand-over-hand help, and instead provide only verbal prompts ("don't forget to rinse the toothbrush!").

Then they'll start to fade even the verbal prompts. When no prompts are required, the child has learned the task!

Additional Teaching Tools

Depending on how your particular child learns, there are a few additional tools that may be helpful. These tools are especially useful for more advanced skills that require the child to interact with people and expectations in the wider community. These include:

Chaining. Every task involves a series of steps that work like links in a chain. For example, you can't brush your teeth until you put toothpaste on the brush. Some people prompt their child for each step in the chain, and then start removing links as the child learns. Finally, the child may be able to complete the task with just a simple reminder.

Social Stories. Social stories are a step up from the visual guide described above. Rather than simply listing steps, parents use pictures and words to describe "expected behavior." Most social stories are customized to the individual. For example: "Every morning after breakfast, Johnny brushes his teeth. First, Johnny knocks on the bathroom door. If no one is inside, Johnny can go in" and so forth. Parents can read the social story with Johnny as often as needed until Johnny knows it by heart and can complete all the steps without prompting.

Video Modeling. Many children with special needs are visual learners, and most learn well through videos. Video models can be purchased off the shelf, downloaded from the Internet, or created for an individual child. They can feature actors doing a task, or they can actually show the child himself as he goes through the process. It can also be helpful to make a video of your child so that he can watch and identify any mistakes he's made.

Apps. Older children, or children with milder issues, may benefit from mobile apps designed to guide them through specific activities or experiences. They may also benefit from basic calendar and scheduling apps that help them to organize their time.

A Word From Verywell

All of the tools described above are used by therapists and teachers but they are all easy to find or create, and intuitive to use. As a parent, you're more than qualified to help your special needs child develop the skills she needs for independence!
Sources: Duncan AW, Bishop SL. Understanding the gap between cognitive abilities and daily living skills in adolescents with autism spectrum disorders with average intelligence. Autism. November 2013. Sarris, Marina. Daily living skills: a key to independence for people with autism. Interactive Autism Network at Kennedy Krieger Institute. Web. April 10, 2014.

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Tools for Teaching Life Skills to Your Special Needs Child

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In the special needs world, the most basic skills are called Adaptive Living Skills, or ADL's. More advanced skills, such as doing laundry, catching a bus, or following a daily schedule, are sometimes called Life Skills or Skills of Daily Living.

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Social Skills for Teenagers: Smile & Succeed for Teens book

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University of California Television (UCTV)

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Social Skills App for Children & Teens with Social & Behaviour Issues including Aspergers & ADD/ADHD

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http://www.socialnavigatorapp.com The Social Navigator is a revolutionary social skills app developed to assist children with social and behavioral challenges in adapting their behavior and developing life-long social skills. The Social Navigator allows the user to quickly enter the dynamics of their current social situation and instantly generates corresponding strategies and recommendations, so that the child can get their needs met in a socially acceptable manner.

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EDST 6441 Diverse Learners I A presentation on Autism Spectrum Disorder, including diagnostic information, developmental characteristics, strengths/challenges, strategies for teachers (academic, and behavioral, and social supports), classroom design, and assistive technology. Created by Paulina Naslonski & Tara Wager We do not own the music used in this video.

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Social Skills Training for Adolescents and Young Adults with Autism Spectrum Disorders

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Social Skills Training: Taking Turns Speaking

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Social Skills Training for Adolescents and Young Adults

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High Functioning Autism & Asperger Syndrome

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Aspergers Syndrome Social Skills and Behavior Management

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Reading Facial Cues: Social Skills Training for Children with Aspergers and High-Functioning Autism

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"Social-skills training" video to help Autistic children with "expression recognition" and non-verbal communication ...http://www.AspergersSocialStories.com

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Autism Parenting Tip:  Autism College: Teach Waiting Skill

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15 signs you have emotional intelligence - World Economic Forum

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15 signs you have emotional intelligence - World Economic Forum

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Dr Travis Bradberry looks at the qualities shared by people with emotional intelligence, based on data from more than a million people.

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In a culture where being social and outgoing are prized above all else, it can be difficult, even shameful, to be an introvert. But, as Susan Cain argues in this passionate talk, introverts bring extraordinary talents and abilities to the world, and should be encouraged and celebrated.

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How Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are - TED Talk

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How Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are - TED Talk

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Your body language may shape who you are

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(NOTE: Some of the findings presented in this talk have been referenced in an ongoing debate among social scientists about robustness and reproducibility. Read “Corrections & Updates” below for more details as well as Amy Cuddy’s response.) Body language affects how others see us, but it may also change how we see ourselves. Social psychologist Amy Cuddy argues that “power posing” -- standing in a posture of confidence, even when we don’t feel confident -- can boost feelings of confidence, and might have an impact on our chances for success.

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Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee - NY Times

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Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee - NY Times

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Opinion | Madam C.E.O., Get Me a Coffee (Published 2015)

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The sad reality in workplaces: Women help more but benefit less from it.

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The year 1777 was not a particularly good time for America's newly formed revolutionary army. Under General George Washington's command, some 11,000 soldiers made their way to Valley Forge. Following the latest defeat in a string of battles that left Philadelphia in the hands of British forces, these tired, demoralized, and poorly equipped early American heroes knew they now faced another devastating winter.

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