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In my future classroom, I find it highly important to build relationships with my student's parents and/or family members. I put this article in the "Approach" section because it list helpful tips that teachers can try.

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Having a positive relationship with your students' families lets you share concerns and work together to help students who learn and think differently thrive. Here are eight effective ways to start a trusting relationship with parents or caregivers.

1. Imagine yourself in their place.

Building a relationship with families starts with empathy. Consider the perspective of a parent or caregiver whose child was recently identified with a learning disability or ADHD. The family might be uncertain about what this means for their child's future. They might be fearful that their child won't receive the right support. Or they might still be processing the news, and unsure of how they feel.

When students have struggled in school for years, their families may have had many negative experiences with the education system. They may have felt overwhelmed or judged by teachers in the past. Keeping that in mind can help you understand why a student's parent or caregiver might be on the defensive from the start. Make sure they know that you're there to support them.

Remember that some learning and thinking differences run in families. Biological parents may come to the parent-teacher relationship with emotions about their own struggles and experiences in school.

Consider too what families may be experiencing during the coronavirus pandemic and unrest due to racial injustice. Families may be dealing with job loss, food insecurity, trying to balance the demands of distance learning, or experiencing other setbacks.

From the series: Back-to-school for educators: Start with relationships

Learn the research behind relationship building, download a printable to share with families, and get tips for connecting with students and families.

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Articles in this series: Back-to-school for educators: Start with relationships

2. Begin with a positive interaction - and then keep it up.

When you first reach out to families, start with something good. Introduce yourself, share something you enjoy about their child, or simply let them know you're available if they'd like to speak. But the good news doesn't have to stop there. Aim to share a piece of good news with each student's parent or caregiver at least twice a month.

3. Find out how families prefer to be reached.

Not all people are comfortable talking by videoconference. Others don't have time for a phone call at certain times of day. Ask if families have a preferred way of communicating and at what time of day. Then honor that preference. In cases when email is appropriate, consider that your tone may be hard to interpret in an email. Learn how to write an effective email that helps you get a positive response.

4. Gather your thoughts in advance.

When it comes time to talk with families about your concerns, draft what you want to say before the meeting or phone call. A bulleted list of notes can help you prioritize and keep track of your thoughts.

Consider sharing a high-level version of this list with families before the meeting so they can gather their own thoughts, too. This list can help you both remember what you want to talk about if the conversation becomes emotional or moves in an unexpected direction.

Frame what you say from your perspective by using "I" statements. You can start sentences with "I noticed," "I am concerned," or "I feel." These statements are an empathetic way to share your thoughts. They may help family members not take the concerns personally.

For instance, saying "Why isn't your child turning in assignments?" may put a parent or caregiver on the defensive. This may shut down the conversation. Instead, you could say, "I notice your child hasn't turned in assignments for the last few weeks. Has your child spoken to you about it?" This explains your concern and allows for more conversation.

6. Set boundaries together.

Let families know you'd like to establish a two-way relationship that honors the parent or caregiver's knowledge of the child and your knowledge of education. Share that you'd like both parties to be able to talk candidly in a way that promotes productive conversation - all with the shared goal of ensuring their child's success in school.

Sometimes that's easier said than done, so establish boundaries for conversations. Try these suggestions:

Agree to start and end your meetings and calls within the time you've allotted.

Encourage families to share their perspectives. Show respect and appreciation for their knowledge.

In return, ask families to consider your point of view as a professional.

Explain that you assume everyone comes to the discussion with the best of intentions.

Suggest that you're both allowed to speak without being interrupted.

Agree to discuss commonalities you both know about the child. But also be open to hearing information you didn't know.

Ask families if they have any boundaries around the conversation they'd like to follow, too.

7. Communicate clearly and be solutions-oriented.

When you begin a conversation, be up-front about what you want to talk about and what your expectations of the family are. If you simply need to share information or voice your concerns, make sure that's clear.

Or, if you're looking for solutions to a concern, let the parent or caregiver know you're asking for input to find the best solution together. Share your own ideas for solutions, too. For example, if you know of an accommodation you think might help, suggest it and ask if the family has tried something similar at home.

8. Send a follow-up email if needed.

A follow-up email after an important conversation can serve many purposes. First, it gives you the chance to thank families for their time. It can also help both you and the family process your discussion and summarize any decisions and takeaways. And it gives parents and caregivers a chance to add any lingering thoughts or ask questions.

Reflect on your practice: What have you done to successfully build a positive relationship with a student's family?

From the series: Back-to-school for educators: Start with relationships

Learn the research behind relationship building, download a printable to share with families, and get tips for connecting with students and families.

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Articles in this series: Back-to-school for educators: Start with relationships

About the Author

About the Author

worked as a classroom teacher and as an early intervention specialist for 10 years. She is the author of Amanda Morin The Everything Parent's Guide to Special Education. Two of her children have learning differences.

Reviewed by

Reviewed by

Mark J. Griffin, PhD was the founding headmaster of Eagle Hill School, a school for children with specific learning disabilities.

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How to begin positive relationships with families: 8 tips to try

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Having a positive relationship with your students' families lets you share concerns and work together to help students who learn and think differently thrive. Here are eight effective ways to start a trusting relationship with parents or caregivers. 1. Imagine yourself in their place. Building a relationship with families starts with empathy.

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This video explains how teachers can share with students how they will want procedures done in an effective way.

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This article shares ideas that can help teachers understand and act accordingly to students misbehaviors rather than immediately punishing the student.

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For many new teachers, success or failure in those crucial first few years often hinges on their classroom management strategies. Those strategies, however, tend to consist of little more than "tired tricks of carrot and sticks," according to Eric Toshalis, an assistant professor at the Graduate School of Education and Counseling at Lewis & Clark College in Portland and author of the new book, Make Me!: Understanding and Engaging Student Resistance in School. Toshalis believes passionately that public schools need to remodel how educators respond to student oppositional behavior - to view it more as an opportunity, not something to punish.
Toshalis spent two decades in public education, serving as a middle and high school teacher, coach, mentor, community activist and local union president. He recently spoke with NEA Today about the need to discard short-sighted approaches to classroom management and provide educators with the necessary resources, time and support to engage students more constructively.
Your use of the term "resistance" in the title and throughout the book is very deliberate obviously. What is it about that word that you find to be more helpful?
Eric Toshalis: What I'm trying to signal is that we need to reframe how we understand student "misbehaviors" in the classroom. We need to move away from words like "defiant," "insubordinate," or "has a bad attitude" because they all cast the student as the problem. Those terms participate in a cascade of blame that starts at the societal level and flows all the way down through to culture and through institutions until it ends up being reproduced in the teacher-student relationship.

Focusing on student resistance doesn't cast teachers as the problem. What it does is recast the way we are thinking about the teacher-student relationship as the problem, instead of the kid. Student misbehavior has an antecedent, something that is occurring in the learning environment or in students' lives that compels them to choose resistance as a strategy to get their needs met. The reframing of misbehavior as resistance allows different approaches and questions to be considered, ones that are more inquiring than punishing, more engaging than exclusionary.
Educators may understand they're not being cast with the blame for shortsighted discipline policies, but shouldn't they be wary of the system shouldering them with the burden of correcting them?
I do think a good teacher has to approach adolescent student misbehavior with curiosity, inquiry, and with an open ear and consistent commitment to meet the needs of the struggling student. But I wouldn't say teachers need to be retrained-they need more resources. I want my book to be a resource for teachers who are looking for ways not just to control student behavior, but to understand it.

A crucial resource teachers already have is their students' resistance. It's a form of engagement, an indicator of what's up, a symptom of a problem more than the problem itself. That means student resistance is typically not something to punish. Students may be tapping their pencil, or they may be talking with their peers when they should be writing, or they may get in your face when they're angry. But they're resisting in a way that should suggest to us, "Hmm, maybe something needs to change here for me to better reach and teach these kids."

And we can support teachers to make these shifts by protecting time for them to read theory and research, collaborate with others, and incorporate new learning into the classroom. To support teachers, schools need more counselors, professional learning communities, lesson study groups, grand rounds, critical friends groups, release time, and smaller class sizes. This isn't news to anyone working in schools today. The trick is convincing legislators and leaders to prioritize it.
What's the link between the more punitive education policies of the past decade and student resistance in the classroom?
Research demonstrates over and over that whenever we highlight ability differences in learning environments we virtually guarantee that resistance is going to happen. But then look at the massive testing, ranking, and sorting apparatus we have established in our schools since the advent of No Child Left Behind. And then look at the toxic tracking regimes that we've instituted, ostensibly to remediate struggling learners (but in fact are just ruts of low expectations that squander opportunities and limit options). Students feel labeled in this environment and are therefore resisting. They will act up because they feel they're being put down-by the system.

But teachers are one of the only authentic voices with the experience and expertise to describe this phenomena, and they are using that voice to rise up against this system on behalf of their kids. The question is whether the moneyed interests and the policymakers who are making the decisions have the capacity to do what's right, and I question whether that is the case. Truly, our students' pushback may be the thing that drives us all forward. Resistance is a good thing!
In the book, you criticize the notion of classroom management as merely a quest for "a few moments of obedience silence." Do you find that new teachers are still entering the classroom with such a narrow perspective?
There are lots of teacher education programs that do not have a classroom management course, which is unbelievable to me. And there are all kinds of alternative certification programs that have never offered one and aren't considering offering one. They just hope novice educators will figure it out on their own. The thing is, many don't.

This is probably controversial, but I believe that teachers' pedagogical content knowledge-an obviously crucial part of a teacher's skillset-doesn't amount to a hill of beans if, at the end of the day, that teacher is not able to relate to students, structure routines, develop class norms, monitor behaviors, intervene when things don't go as planned, then work with students to keep them engaged and safe when things get a little chaotic.

Classroom management takes a ton of fuel, and teachers often burn out because they can't keep their fires lit. We don't help them when we reduce classroom management to behaviorist techniques of manipulation and coercion-what I call the "tired tricks of carrot and sticks." The reward and punishment regimes we construct in schools are profoundly cynical about what's possible in individuals and communities, and the only reason we think they're effective is because we only examine their effects in the short term. The longer view is that such regimes are typically counter-productive in promoting positive behaviors.
You work with a lot of teachers on classroom management. Is guiding them to change their approach difficult if they think their techniques are working?
Last night I was with a group of intern teachers. One said that her method of getting student's attention was silently glaring at her students and waiting for them to be quiet. She said that method worked, but I was suspicious. Many teachers think their methods "work" because, busy as they are, they're only considering one data point at one moment in time. I responded that I doubted her method was working because my definition of "working" was different from hers. She wanted immediate compliance and she wanted to use her authority as a discipliner and as a shamer to stand over them with an accusatory stink-eye and threaten them with potential reprimands. Sure, it achieved it's objective, but at what cost?

As an alternative, I suggested that she think about how those kids might be resisting at that moment. What do they want? Likely, they wanted to finish their thought in their conversations or maybe socialize a bit. So I suggested establishing a signaling routine to give them time to transition. This could be a whistle, a flicking of the lights, a clap signal, whatever-something that retains the energy in the room and gently and enthusiastically reminds students that it's time to transition by giving them a small amount of time-maybe 5,6,10,12 seconds-to make that transition responsibly. That method keeps the flow going and allows the teacher to thank students for their attention and energy rather than shame them for being "defiant" or "bad kids."

Power plays and punishments can be a real buzzkill in the classroom. Students tune that stuff out and it turns them off-to us, and to learning.
So how did this teacher react?
Well, initially, when I told her I thought she was succumbing to confirmation bias, she was, like, "Ummm ... what?" But then I modeled the alternative for her and the others in the class. I asked them, "How would you like it if I just glared at you while you finish your sentence with your friends? Would you want to raise your hand and contribute something to the class later? Would you want to do your best on an assignment? Or would you want to take your phone out and text nasty things about me underneath your desk, or look for other ways to get back at me?" So she thought about it and said "Yeah, I see now. I get it."

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How Engaging Student Resistance Works Better Than Punishment | NEA

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For many new teachers, success or failure in those crucial first few years often hinges on their classroom management strategies. Those strategies, however, tend to consist of little more than "tired tricks of carrot and sticks," according to Eric Toshalis, an assistant professor at the Graduate School of Education and Counseling at Lewis & Clark College in Portland and author of the new book, Make Me!: Understanding and Engaging Student Resistance in School.

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I included this picture because I think that it is helpful to create an agenda for the day/week so that students can refer back to if needed. I think that it is also important to have the objective stated because it tells students the purpose of what they are doing.

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This article states expectations that should be implement in the beginning of the year and carried throughout the school year.

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Congratulations! You've arrived at your first year of teaching. If you are anything like I was when I started teaching, you are a bundle of emotions. You're excited to meet your students. You're nervous about teaching new content. Overall, you're just ready to get the year started, but as the first day of school approaches, you wonder how to set expectations for learning in your classroom. How strict will you be? How strict will you have to be? How do you encourage your students to learn? Every first year teacher faces these dilemmas, but with the help of this guide, you can set yourself and your students up for success. So, take a deep breath and keep reading.

Why Setting Expectations is Important

Just like it's a new school year for you, it's also a new year for your students. When students walk into your classroom on the first day of school, they are apprehensive and unsure of what will be expected of them, how you will run the classroom, and just what the year holds for them. Setting expectations puts them at ease as well as builds their confidence throughout the year. They will be able to grow and learn knowing the boundaries which makes for a better school year for everyone.

Decide What Your Learning Expectations Will Be

The first step is deciding what your expectations will be for your classroom. Think of everything from what students should do when they enter your room to how students should turn their work in to whether or not they are allowed to stand at the door and wait for the bell to ring.

Think about how you want them to learn. Will you be giving mostly lectures? Will you give them more hands-on time to work with your subject and possibly a partner? How are they supposed to act in both or either of those situations? While some situations will not need to be described for them on the first day of school, you will need to go over those expectations in the next few days and weeks as the situation arises. The more prepared you are, the better.

Communicate Your Expectations to Students and Parents

Next you should make sure your expectations are clear to both students and parents. A syllabus and classroom expectations handout is a great place to start. On the first day of school send the syllabus home for parents to sign. Even if parents just sign the paper, you can keep that copy in your files. If a parent wonders later in the year about your plagiarism policy or late work policy, you can refer to the expectations paper they signed. It saves a lot of time and headache to make sure everyone is aware of those expectations in the first few days of school.

Be Consistent

As a first year teacher, you dread and wonder what to do when someone doesn't meet your expectations. First, include some of those consequences in your list of expectations. Are you going to move student seats? When does someone get sent to the principal's office? There will always be scenarios that arise that surprise you, but be firm and hold your ground. Obviously, this is different based on your classroom teaching style as well as what grade level you teach.

Whatever happens, be consistent in what you do. If partners aren't working together, then separate them, but make sure it applies to all partners who aren't working. If class is interrupted by a student, don't be afraid to send them to the hall while you get students working on something independently before you address the issue. It will seem like a lot at the beginning of the year, but as the first quarter comes to an end, students will understand what you expect of them.

Make Adjustments as Needed

As hard as it is, remember that we all make mistakes. It is humbling to stand in front of your class and admit to making a mistake. There are two great things that occur when you do, though. First, your students will look at you slightly differently. It's not very often that adults indicate they've made a mistake. Your realness shows your students that it's okay to make mistakes, but they have to take ownership of them. We are all humans, and we all mess up. This way when a student makes a mistake, you can connect with them more easily. This is the other benefit: a better relationship with your students. You get to be real with them, which in turn helps them be more real with you. So, don't be afraid to make adjustments to your expectations. Know that many scenes in the classroom don't pan out the way we plan it.

So, are you ready to tackle your first year of teaching? You can do it! Be firm and give yourself some grace. You will do a great job! Got any other advice for first year teachers? Share with us on Twitter @Schoology

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Your Guide to Setting Expectations for Learning as a First Year Teacher

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Congratulations! You've arrived at your first year of teaching. If you are anything like I was when I started teaching, you are a bundle of emotions. You're excited to meet your students. You're nervous about teaching new content.

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I would include similar posters to these in my classroom because it give me and students a chance to learn more about their peers. This is a foundation for relationships because it is a very easy and brief activity that can lead into way more relationship building activities.

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This article shares ways to organize the class so that students can always reflect on ways they can be active in the classroom and helpful guides to help them throughout the day.

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I decided I was going to be a teacher when I was in the second grade. At the time I believed that meant I would wear turtleneck sweaters and have blonde hair that was flipped up at the bottom like my teacher. Of course, I knew I had a lot to learn before I would be ready to teach. I can think of one lesson I was very slow in learning, even though all those years, it was right in front of my face.

All through elementary and middle school, I glanced, gazed, and even stared at some of the most powerful teaching props in existence, the walls. But I didn't really see them because to students, it is as natural to find something useful on a classroom wall as it is to glance at the wall in the first place. As a teacher, when I first walked into my own middle school classroom and had to decide what to put on my walls, I was baffled. In a way, they were still invisible to me.

I started out with a small library on an old metal bookshelf, a couple of inspiring posters, and some class rules, then quickly added my state's content standards and a corner for publishing student work. I added multiplication tables, math facts, and writing conventions. I made room for a student-created vocabulary wall.

By mid-year, my students had helped me redecorate. By this point, I saw my walls as some of the most important learning tools I would ever have access to. I began to think back to the many classrooms I had been in as a student teacher and observer. I started to mentally categorize the purposes I had seen classroom walls fill:

Organization -posted agendas, calendars, standards, and bookcases

Resources/Reminders -vocabulary walls, math charts, homework assignments, procedures posters, and class expectations

Recognition -homework, student artwork, and student illustrations of vocabulary words

Physical Props -scenery for readers' theater, games like "pin the math term on the example," and often a whiteboard or interactive whiteboard

Community Building -a birthday calendar, getting to know you projects, and both commercial and student-created decorations

The greatest part in my eyes was how involved my students were. They were interacting with their physical space in ways that helped them learn and feel recognized. And it was often my more disruptive students who would jump at the chance to hang out after school and help me add something to the classroom walls. As we'd work, they would talk and I would listen. My classroom walls helped me connect with my students and helped them develop a sense of ownership.

What about you? What do you think it is most important for teachers to have on their walls? What would you add to my list?

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What's on Your Walls? How My Classroom Helped My Students Learn

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I decided I was going to be a teacher when I was in the second grade. At the time I believed that meant I would wear turtleneck sweaters and have blonde hair that was flipped up at the bottom like my teacher.

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This builds relationships because it allows all students to be active in the classroom. This article explains how to make STEM more inclusive to colored students. Being more inclusive during school, will allow students to love and be comfortable in the classroom.

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Women and people of color are underrepresented in STEM fields, and this can change if all students feel they belong in STEM classrooms.

I met Dr. Judith Salley when I was a student at South Carolina State University, a historically Black university in Orangeburg, South Carolina. Salley was only the second Black educator I had encountered since second grade and the first Black female scientist I had ever interacted with. She asked me a question no one ever had before: "You know, Jackie, you really are excelling in my comparative anatomy class. Have you ever considered going into a science field?"

I hadn't. For starters, my vision of a scientist came from central casting: White, male, usually over 50, with an unruly crop of gray hair and horn-rimmed spectacles. That wasn't me. Plus, despite my obvious aptitude, no educator had ever suggested science as a pathway until that day.

I am far from the only female or Black student who only began to contemplate a future in science, technology, engineering, or math (STEM) in college. Women and people of color remain underrepresented in STEM-related professions: Only 29 percent of women held science and engineering jobs as of 2017, and only 13 percent of such jobs were held by "underrepresented minorities."

Organizations like mine, Code.org, are working to boost those numbers by making computer science and related subjects more engaging and accessible to all K-12 students, especially young women and underrepresented groups. Based on my teaching experience, here are four ways that teachers can engage and support students from diverse backgrounds in STEM classes.

1. Reflect Who They Are

Early in my career as an elementary school science teacher, I would spend hours searching for posters for my classroom's walls. I wanted students of all races, genders, and faith traditions to see themselves in those images and to draw inspiration from them. One of my favorites featured Michael Jordan in his No. 23 Chicago Bulls jersey, accompanied by a quote explaining how his "failures" made him a better player.

What a missed opportunity. I was teaching science, not basketball. My students needed to see pictures of STEM professionals who looked like them, like Darryll Pines, a Black aerospace engineer who is now president of the University of Maryland, or Angela Benton, an entrepreneur whose name routinely appears on lists of prominent African Americans in the technology sector.

Students of color do not see many people of color in the STEM field. As they progress from high school to college, the numbers of their peers of color decrease, they often lack support from a community of their peers, and they often feel alone and discouraged. Surround your students with images of successful STEM professionals, and they'll grow up knowing they can become one.

2. Elevate Their Voices

Classrooms should provide opportunities to learn other perspectives in an inclusive environment or space. They should be a place where students' ideas are valued and respected, not dismissed as naive or idealistic.

Encourage debates inside the classroom. Seek input from students on problems in their communities that STEM can solve. Make space for students to present evidence from hands-on projects to their peers, explaining why their conclusion is the right one.

In my science classes, I'd routinely group students together to design investigations and develop and explain their conclusions. Then I'd encourage them to defend their work. My students used large whiteboards to capture their ideas and thoughts. They used these boards to explain their conclusions using pictures, words, and or symbols. They would call a "board" meeting, and we would gather in a circle and the students would present their findings to their peers. The discussions often became quite lively, especially when individual students disagreed with the group's conclusions. These discussions built a community of learning where each student had a voice-and the chance to use it.

3. Leverage Their Experiences

There's no place in STEM instruction for students to simply sit at their desks struggling to pay attention to a boring lecture. Science demands their action and participation. Real-world phenomena resonate with kids, which is why new resources like BrainPOP Science are using such phenomena to engage kids through scientific investigations.

Teachers can provide students with experiences that demonstrate the day's lesson, then leverage those experiences to make learning come alive. Science can come alive in your classroom through a student's lived experience. This requires some investigation on your part, for you to know where students live and their community.

When I was a STEM coordinator in Washington, DC, public schools, we embarked on a grade-wide STEM project. Students were placed into four groups representing the four quadrants of DC. Part of their project was to convince a non-DC resident which quadrant was the best to live in based on several factors, including the environment. Students tested water and soil samples, and we used simulations to manipulate large data sets. BrainPop provides this type of invaluable resource to the classroom. Students were able to connect their science classroom to their community.

4. Start With Their Teacher: You

Building an inclusive classroom begins with the teacher. Recognize unconscious biases and understand how your own educational experiences have impacted the way you teach STEM subjects. Acknowledge the lack of diversity in science. Call it out not only to build awareness, but to highlight the opportunities and possibilities that exist.

Kids, especially girls and students of color, shouldn't have to wait until they're in college to consider STEM as a career pathway. The first step in that process is making all students realize they belong in the STEM classroom-and workplace.

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4 Ways to Make STEM Classrooms More Inclusive

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Women and people of color are underrepresented in STEM fields, and this can change if all students feel they belong in STEM classrooms. I met Dr. Judith Salley when I was a student at South Carolina State University, a historically Black university in Orangeburg, South Carolina.

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This daily morning activity can build relationships between teacher and student. This also helps with trust in the classroom because students can feel that their teacher cares about them. In addition, this daily greeting sets the mood for the day in a welcoming and positive way in which students are comfortable in.

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Modified Classroom Greetings FB3H (Fist Bump, Hand shake, High Five, Hug)

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I included this source because it explains how positive communication helps the classroom build and flow better. Positive communication should be taught and expected in the beginning of the year, so students are aware of how situations with peers and others should be handled.

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Setting a goal of positive contact with every student’s family helped a middle school teacher deepen relationships and boost her own morale.

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This article shares ways on how to teach mindfulness in schools. This link is a description about a mindfulness book, but teaching this in schools allows students to gain self aware and tools that can be taught for everyday situations.

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Mindfulness is not only a popular topic for researchers and academics; it's also becoming quite the mainstream phenomenon.

One of the reasons for the popularity of mindfulness is its simplicity. It is easy (relatively, anyway), inexpensive, and can be practiced by anyone at any time.

Although it might sound like madness trying to teach mindfulness concepts to young children, it's actually perfectly suited for educational settings-and those settings in which it is most difficult to implement mindfulness are generally the ones that need it the most!

Read on to learn more about mindfulness in education, why it's a good thing, how it can be effectively incorporated into the curriculum, and what kinds of training and learning opportunities exist for you.

Before you read on, we thought you might like to download our 3 Mindfulness Exercises for free. These science-based, comprehensive exercises will not only help you cultivate a sense of inner peace throughout your daily life but will also give you the tools to enhance the mindfulness of your students, clients or employees.

What is Mindfulness Education?

"Mindfulness means paying attention in a particular way; on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally."

Jon Kabat-Zinn (1994)

Mindfulness education is exactly what it sounds like: the purposeful inclusion of mindfulness and mindful meditation principles, theories, and practices into education. (See the definition of mindfulness.)

The goals of mindfulness education are to help students learn:

Self-awareness

Techniques to calm and focus the mind

Mindful communication

Applying mindfulness skills to everyday life (iBme, n.d.)

If you do a quick Google search on "mindfulness education" or "mindfulness in education", our trusty search engine will turn up millions of results. Many of these results will take you to pages about specific training programs or curricula on incorporating mindfulness into education.

Some focus on teaching mindfulness to students. Some focus on teaching educators how to teach mindfulness to students. Others might focus on teaching the administrative staff, parents, or the community as a whole. While their targeted audience may differ, the end results are usually the same: positive outcomes.

The Research on Teaching Mindfulness in Schools

Mindfulness as a subject and guiding principle in school has been a popular topic of research in recent decades, which means we have a lot of information on how mindfulness is best applied in schools and how this benefits students, teachers, and the community at large.

How to Teach and Apply Mindfulness

Researcher Erica Baxter (n.d.) from Surya Chandra Healing Yoga has some helpful suggestions for those looking to implement mindfulness programs in their school:

1. Ensure that support comes from the top down.

2. Teachers and staff should have training to help them reinforce any lessons taught by professional mindfulness instructors.

3. Teachers should show full support for the mindfulness program to encourage their students.

4. Parents should be involved and incorporate some aspects of mindfulness practice at home; a separate course for parents may be a best practice.

Richard Burnett (2009) echoes some of Baxter's sentiments but gets a bit more specific as well. According to him, it's vital for teachers and instructors of mindfulness to:

Strike a balance between variety and structure in mindful activity; there must be some repetition to allow students to build up their practice, but too much and you will find them disengaged.

Offer a long-term, "drip feed" approach to mindfulness when possible; students may learn better with this method rather than the intense, all-at-once method that adults are subjected to.

Be flexible! Some exercises and lessons simply won't work with space and resources available to you in the classroom, and you need to be ready for that.

If you've decided to start incorporating mindfulness into your classroom, this evidence-based introductory lesson from the Mindful Schools organization can help you get started. It includes an exercise on mindful listening, a quick wrap-up, and a short journal entry to engage your students in mindfulness practice.

For more information and other ideas on how to get your students into mindfulness, check out the Activities and Teaching Resources page at the Mindful Teachers website-it's got a bunch of good suggestions!

25 Benefits of Incorporating Mindfulness in the Classroom

The Mindful Schools organization lists ten major areas in which studies have shown mindfulness can have a positive impact, including:

Attention and focus

Better grades

More effective emotion regulation

Better behavior in school

Greater empathy and perspective-taking

Better social skills

Reduced test anxiety

Less stress

Decreased frequency/severity of posttraumatic symptoms

Lower rates/severity of depression

These findings are indeed backed up by research; a 2015 study on mindfulness education in schools found that:

1. Mindfulness helps students and staff manage their stress more effectively and work through it more quickly.

2. Frequent mindfulness practice-even micro-sessions of a few minutes or less-imparts health benefits.

3. Research suggests that mindfulness programs can improve cognitive performance as well as resilience to stress.

4. Mindfulness programs are easily developed and adapted for specific ages and contexts.

5. It is relatively easy to incorporate mindfulness into schools, provided there is sensitivity to the developmental stages and needs of the students (Bostic et al., 2015).

Further, a review by Erica Baxter (n.d.) found that mindfulness has proven to help children and adolescents with:

Reducing their anxiety.

Helping them reduce and/or manage their stress.

Improving their attention and ability to focus.

Managing their emotion reactivity.

Increasing their self-awareness and self-regulation.

Helping them find peace.

Encouraging their ability to calm themselves and regulate their emotions.

Improving their executive function and higher-order abilities (i.e., planning, strategic thinking).

Decreasing their test anxiety through enhancing memory and concentration, and reducing mind-wandering/daydreaming.

Mitigating or reducing ADHD symptoms.

What Does a Mindfulness Curriculum Include?

A mindfulness curriculum generally includes mindfulness content delivered in short weekly (or more frequent) sessions that involves both the principles of mindfulness and the practice of mindfulness.

Depending on the specific school and the program they choose, the curriculum may include information on important concepts and definitions (e.g., awareness, acceptance, mindfulness, meditation), exercises (e.g., the body scan, mindful breathing, mindful awareness of the senses), and other mindfulness content that can be used by students in class or at home (e.g., guided meditations, relaxation imagery, written instructions, videos).

For specific ideas on what to include in a mindfulness curriculum, check out the resources and activities listed below.

31 Resources and Activities to Implement Mindfulness

We'll start with the youngest group and work our way to adults. So first up-teaching mindfulness to toddlers and preschoolers!

Using Mindfulness in Early Childhood Education and Preschool

This great piece from Cassie Nguyen (2017) at TeachStarter describes 18 quick mindfulness activities you can use to promote mindfulness in your classroom.

You could implement the quick Mindful Breathing exercise:

Students can stand or sit for this activity.

sk students to put both hands on their belly.

Students should close their eyes, or look down to their hands.

Guide students in taking three slow deep breaths in and out to see if they can feel their hands being moved.

You may like to count "1, 2, 3" for each breath in and "1, 2, 3" for each breath out, pausing slightly at the end of each exhale.

Encourage students to think about how the breath feels, answering the following questions silently, in their mind.
o What is moving your hands? Is it the air filling your lungs?
o Can you feel the air moving in through your nose?
o Can you feel it moving out through your nose?
o Does the air feel a little colder on the way in and warmer on the way out?
o Can you hear your breath?
o What does it sound like?

Or, you might want to try the Body Scan exercise for children:

Students lay on the floor, with their eyes closed if they are comfortable (or they may prefer to look at the ceiling).

Encourage students to pay attention to their feet for 5 or 10 seconds.

Questions to ask during a body scan:
o How does this body part feel?
o Is it cold or warm?
o Does it feel tight or relaxed?
o Is all or part of that body part touching the floor?
o Or clothing?
o What does that feel like?

Move on to their toes, then ankles, then calves and knees. Continue body part by body part until you reach the head.

Question how each part of the body feels to bring students' awareness to their body in the moment.

If there is tightness or stress, imagine breathing the stress out of that part of the body with each exhale.

You could also try the Mindful Steps exercise:

This activity is best completed outdoors and if suitable, students may like to walk barefoot.

Give students a clear boundary for where they can walk during this activity.

Each student selects a small area where they can walk in a line for about 5 or 6 steps and back then back to where they started without getting into another person's way.

Begin this practice with three deep breaths, or the Shark Fin activity (#4 above).

Take 5 or 6 steps in one direction, turn slowly and then take 5 or 6 steps back to where you started.

While walking, students bring their awareness to their breath and their body.
o What does the ground feel like under your feet?
o Which part of your foot touches the ground first when you take a step?
o Does your body feel heavy or light today?
o Are you slouching when you walk?
o Or, is your back up quite straight?
o Try not to change the way you walk, but instead just notice how your body naturally moves.

If none of these catch your attention, perhaps you would like students to find the rhythm of their Heartbeat:

You might like to begin this practice with three deep breaths, or the Shark Fin activity (#4 above).

Students place their fingers or hands over the part of their body where they can best feel their pulse:
o On the side of their neck, under their jaw,
o Inside their wrist, or
o Over their heart.

Ask students to close their eyes and notice how quickly or slowly their heart is beating.

Encourage them to think about their current state of emotion and consider if this might be connected to how quickly or slowly their heart is beating.

Direct students to stand and jump up and down on the spot ten times.

Students return to sitting and feel their heartbeat again, noticing any changes.

Students may like to close their eyes and focus on their heartbeat until it slows back down.

Mindfulness Education for Elementary and Primary School

While many of the exercises above will work for older children as well, there are some exercises and activities specifically designed for children in elementary/primary school.

Kaia Roman (2015) from Mind Body Green offers 7 fun ways to teach mindfulness to children of this age, including the Bell Listening Exercise:

Ring a bell and ask the kids to listen closely to the vibration of the ringing sound.

Tell them to remain silent and raise their hands when they no longer hear the sound of the bell.

Then tell them to remain silent for one minute and pay close attention to the other sounds they hear once the ringing has stopped.

After, go around in a circle and ask the kids to tell you every sound they noticed during that minute. This exercise is not only fun and gets the kids excited about sharing their experiences with others, but really helps them connect to the present moment and the sensitivity of their perceptions.

You could also try Roman's Breathing Buddies exercise:

Hand out a stuffed animal to each child (or another small object). If room allows, have the children lie down on the floor and place the stuffed animals on their bellies.

Tell them to breathe in silence for one minute and notice how their Breathing Buddy moves up and down, and any other sensations that they notice. Tell them to imagine that the thoughts that come into their minds turn into bubbles and float away.

The presence of the Breathing Buddy makes the meditation a little friendlier and allows the kids to see how a playful activity doesn't necessarily have to be rowdy.

If you really want to engage the students' senses in their mindfulness practice, try the Smell & Tell exercise:

Pass something fragrant out to each child, such as a piece of fresh orange peel, a sprig of lavender or a jasmine flower.

Ask them to close their eyes and breathe in the scent, focusing all of their attention only on the smell of that object. Scent can really be a powerful tool for anxiety-relief (among other things!).

Another sense-focused exercise is called The Art of Touch:

Give each child an object to touch, such as a ball, a feather, a soft toy, a stone, etc.

Ask them to close their eyes and describe what the object feels like to a partner.

Then, have the partners trade places. Both this exercise and the previous one are simple, but compelling, ways to teach the kids the practice of isolating their senses from one another, and tuning into distinct experiences.

Click here to see the other mindfulness exercises for young students.

1. The Mindful Jar

This exercise by Karen Young (2015) at Hey Sigmund is a great tool you can use as an educator or a parent to introduce your charges to mindfulness.

Follow Young's instructions to create a mindful jar:

Start with a jar and fill it almost to the top with water. Into the water, add a few big dollops of glitter glue (or school glue and dry glitter). Pop on the lid and give the jar a shake.

Here are some words:
'Imagine that the glitter is like your thoughts when you're stressed, mad or upset. See how they whirl around and make it really hard to see clearly? That's why it's so easy to make silly decisions when you're upset - because you're not thinking clearly. Don't worry this is normal and it happens in all of us (yep, grownups too). [Now put the jar down in front of them.] Now watch what happens when you're still for a couple of moments. Keep watching. See how the glitter starts to settle and the water clears? Your mind works the same way. When you're calm for a little while, your thoughts start to settle and you start to see things much clearer.'

The beautiful part of this exercise is that while they are learning about their emotional selves, they are also engaging in an act of mindfulness as they watch the glitter fall to the bottom of the jar.

2. The Mindful Snack

If it's around snack time, you might find this activity from Young (2015) to be even more engaging.

Here's how you do it.

Next time you have a bite to eat together, try mindful eating for a few minutes. Use a script like this to guide your children through the exercise:

'Let's try something called mindful eating. It's where you slow things down when you eat so you can notice things you don't usually notice. What does your food feel like to touch? What about the smell? What if you squish it a little - what does that feel like? Now take a bite but chew very slowly. Really notice your mouth moving up and down. Can you feel the food against your tongue and between your teeth. What does it taste like? What does it feel like? Keep chewing for a little while (20 to 30 seconds). When you're ready, notice what the food feels like as it moves down your throat and towards your belly.'

Mindfulness Education for High School Students

The tack you'll want to take with older students (those in junior high and high school) is a bit different-rather than focusing on being silly and having fun, they may appreciate a simple break from the grind and some good information on how mindfulness can help them.

1. A Mindful Moment

Start with a quick exercise that's simple yet effective, like beginning class with a mindful moment.

Here are the instructions from Sarah Beach at Left Brain Buddha (n.d.):

For middle and high school students, the school day is pretty busy! Science to math to history to PE to English to Spanish, punctuated by the crazy state-fair midway chaos known as "passing time." Even in elementary school, kids spend a lot of their day taking in information, responding to the environment, interacting with others, and otherwise just being "ON." We rarely give them a moment to pause, settle their nervous system, and refocus their attention and energy on a new task.

At the beginning of class, or after a transition, you can take a mindful moment: invite kids to close their eyes (if they're comfortable doing so), and take a few deep breaths. They can pay attention to breathing - what does it feel like when they breathe in and out? Or they can notice their thoughts - is their mind really busy or quiet right now?

2. A Mindful Break

This clever exercise comes from a middle school teacher at the 2015 Education Minnesota conference and can be a fun and engaging way for older students to practice mindfulness (and get a sense of autonomy and responsibility to boot!).

This is how to do it:

1. At the beginning of each class, assign a bell to one student. Pick a different student each class. During that day's lesson, the student is instructed to ring the bell when he or she feels the class needed a break (you may want to set some limits here, such as no more than two breaks during a 50-minute class).

2. When the student rings the bell, even if the teacher is mid-sentence, the class will stop. In silence, everyone will stand up and stretch, and then sit down for 30 seconds or so of mindful breathing. Then, the student who rang the bell will prompt students to silently think of something they are grateful for.

3. After this brief interruption (it should only take a minute or two), the class will resume where it stopped.

4. This is a quick practice that gives both students and teachers a well-deserved and often much-needed break. Giving students ownership over the break and mindfulness exercise enhances their engagement in the practice, and it can also give the teacher valuable information about when students' attention is waning.

3. Check in With Your Attention

If giving a student free reign with a bell doesn't sound like it will work in your classroom, try the attention check exercise instead.

In this exercise, you (the teacher) will keep control of the schedule and you can introduce it when you see fit. You can have students practice this exercise at any point in the class, even during the middle of a lesson if you think students really need it.

To implement it, all you need to do is stop whatever the class is doing and tell the students to hit pause and check in with their attention. Ask them:

Is your attention here, in class?

Was your mind wandering?

If so, where did your attention go?

At this point, you should be sure to tell them that a little mind-wandering is totally normal and healthy, but emphasize that they ultimately have control over their mind; they can catch their wandering brain in the act and gently guide it back to the present if they so desire!

Encourage them to take a moment to notice what their mind is doing and remind them that they have a choice about where to direct their attention.

4. End with a Mindful Moment

To bookend your mindfulness lesson (or your class in general), try this exercise. It's a good way to give "closure" to the lesson in a way that is likely more mindful, calm, and peaceful way than usual!

Here's what you do:

1. At the end of class, give students around 3 to 5 minutes to focus on their breathing. Instruct them to close their eyes if that feels comfortable, and simply focus on their breath-coming in, and going out.

2. Tell the students to think about what they have learned and accomplished in class today.

3. Give them a few quiet minutes to settle and bring themselves back into balance.

4. End with a positive statement; this can be about how much you care about them, how much you believe in them, or how hard they worked today.

This simple activity can act as an excellent closing activity for your lesson.

To see these exercises from Sarah Rudell Beach in more detail, read about them here.

Mindfulness Education for Continuing and Higher Education

If you work with college students, graduate students, or continuing professionals (or if you belong to one of those groups yourself), never fear-there are mindfulness opportunities and resources for you too!

Not only can most of the activities and exercises above be adapted for use with young adults, and not only do most of the mindfulness-based stress reduction ( MBSR) and mindfulness-based cognitive therapy exercises (MBCT) also apply for college students, there are many organizations that specifically target this audience in both mindfulness research and application.

If you're interested in making mindfulness a central component of your education-related career, you should definitely get familiar with the Association for Contemplative Mind in Higher Education (ACMHE). This organization is described as:

"a multidisciplinary academic association with an international membership of educators, administrators, staff, students, researchers, and other professionals committed to the transformation of higher education through the recovery and development of the contemplative dimensions of teaching, learning, and knowing" ( ACMHE).

You might also be interested in the Harvard Graduate School of Education's Mindfulness for Educators program, a program designed to help educators teach, manage stress, and balance their work and life more effectively. Learn more by clicking here.

If you're a college student or if you work directly with college students, you should know about Koru Mindfulness. Koru Mindfulness is:

"an evidence-based curriculum specifically designed for teaching mindfulness, meditation, and stress management to college students and other young adults."

It consists of three core components:

1. Koru Basic - an introduction to mindfulness and meditation, taught as a weekly, 75-minute class over four weeks by a trained and certified Koru Teacher.

2. Koru 2.0 - an "advanced" class for students who have completed Koru Basic and are eager for more mindfulness; this course also consists of weekly, 75-minute classes taught over four weeks.

3. Koru Retreat - a half-day silent mindfulness retreat for students wanting to try a more intense mindfulness experience.

Koru Mindfulness also offers training for teachers to deliver the mindfulness curriculum. Click here to learn more about all of Koru's offerings.

An online offering that is accessible no matter where you are located, is the Mindfulness X Masterclass. This is a fully comprehensive, ready to go program helping you to deliver science-based mindfulness training. This class will ensure more people can experience the powerful effects of mindfulness.

If you are an educator or counselor, the course is highly recommended by healthcare practitioners and trainers who have already completed the course.

Mindfulness Education in the UK and Ireland

If you're based in the UK or Ireland and you're interested in learning more about mindfulness education (as either a student/participant or as a teacher or administrator), you have several options available to you. Check out the organizations and links below to learn more.

The Mindfulness Initiative Training for Kids (UK, link)

Oxford Mindfulness Centre MBCT Teacher Training Pathway (UK, link)

Professional Training in the Applied Use of Mindfulness for Children from the British Mindfulness Institute (UK, link)

Mindfulness Centre Professional Training (Ireland, link)

Irish Mindfulness Institute, Mindfulness Courses (Ireland, link)

Irish Mindfulness Academy Courses for Individuals, Professionals, Diploma in Mindfulness and Positive Psychology, Mindfulness for Wellbeing in Schools (Ireland, link)

Being Mindful Online Mindfulness Training (online, but based in Ireland)

The Mindfulness in Schools Project (Training)

The Mindfulness in Schools Project is perhaps the most well-known and influential mindfulness in education training program in the UK, and they offer tons of helpful resources, classes, and full-length trainings that you may find helpful.

Check out the links below to see for yourself:

For other resources and UK-based training programs on parent and teacher mindfulness, check out this link.

Mindfulness Education in Australia and NZ

There are also a few different options in Australia and New Zealand, including a couple that have really taken off. Check out the links and organizations in this list to learn more:

Mindfulness for Primary School Classroom Teachers One-Day Training (Lismore Area, Northern NSW) (Website)

Mindfulness Skills for Teacher Well-Being (Australia) (Website)

Whole of School Mindfulness Programs (customized to the school; in Australia) (Website)

Kids Matter AU Upcoming Sessions (Australia) (Website)

Mindfulness Meditation Australia Courses (Australia) (Website)

Pause, Breath, Smile Educator Training from the Mindfulness Education Group (New Zealand) (Website)

Mindful Parenting and Teacher Training Programmes from Mindful NZ Schools (New Zealand) (Website)

The Mindfulness in Education Network Conference

The Mindfulness in Education Network (or MiEN) is an organization that was established by students, colleagues, and peers of Zen Master and peace activist Thich Nhat Hanh. This group came together in 2001 to affirm that mindfulness can act as a treatment and prevention measure to the increasing stress, conflict, and confusion in both educational settings and in the world overall.

Each year since 2008, the MiEN organizes a conference to host mindfulness researchers, educators, instructors, and anyone interested in the benefits of mindfulness in education.

To learn more about upcoming conferences, visit the official website or take a look at our dedicated post detailing a range of upcoming positive psychology events.

Recommended Books and Handbooks

As a hot topic in psychology and in pop culture lately, it's no surprise that there are a ton of books on mindfulness out there. If you're interested in learning more, check out our recommendations here:

Mindfulness for Teachers: Simple Skills for Peace and Productivity in the Classroom by Patricia A. Jennings (Amazon)

The Way of Mindful Education: Cultivating Well-Being in Teachers and Students by Daniel Rechtschaffen (Amazon)

Happy Teachers Change the World: A Guide for Cultivating Mindfulness in Education by Thich Nhat Hanh & Katherine Weare (Amazon)

Cultivating Mindfulness in the Classroom by Jeanie M. Iberlin and Mike Ruyle (Amazon)

The Mindful Education Workbook: Lessons for Teaching Mindfulness to Students by Daniel Rechtschaffen (Amazon)

Handbook of Mindfulness in Education: Integrating Theory and Research into Practice by Kimberly A. Schonert-Reichl and Robert W. Roeser (Amazon)

Everybody Present: Mindfulness in Education by Nikolaj Rotne and Diddle Flor Rotne (Amazon)

Important TED Talks

If TED Talks are more your "style" than books, you're in luck! There are five great TED Talks on mindfulness, specifically mindfulness in education, that you can watch whenever you find the time:

Mindfulness in Schools by Richard Burnett

Mindfulness in Education, Learning from the Inside Out by Amy Burke

Why Aren't We Teaching You Mindfulness? By AnneMarie Rossi

All it Takes is 10 Mindful Minutes by Andy Puddicombe

Mindfulness and Neural Integration by Daniel Siegel

A Take-Home Message

I hope this piece has sparked your interest in learning more about incorporating mindfulness in education, or-better yet-sparked your interest in actually doing it!

The research behind mindfulness in education is not completely unanimous in its positive findings, and there may be some as-yet-unknown factors that impact outcomes, but it's pretty clear that practicing mindfulness doesn't do any harm!

If this piece captured your attention and you want to dive deeper into the possibilities presented by incorporating mindfulness into education, please refer to the links above and the references to learn more.

Do you have any experience incorporating mindfulness into the classroom? Have you encountered it as a student, as a teacher/instructor, or both? What are your thoughts? Let us know in the comments section!

Thanks for reading, and may you stay present and grateful for each moment!

We hope you enjoyed reading this article. Don't forget to download our 3 Mindfulness Exercises for free.

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Mindfulness in Education: 31+ Ways of Teaching Mindfulness in Schools

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Mindfulness is not only a popular topic for researchers and academics; it's also becoming quite the mainstream phenomenon. One of the reasons for the popularity of mindfulness is its simplicity. It is easy (relatively, anyway), inexpensive, and can be practiced by anyone at any time.

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Shares ideas on how having a democratic classroom, allows students to learn responsibility and how everyone has a purpose in the class.

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A look at how to set up a classroom that promotes shared responsibilities so that students are engaged in their community.

What is a democratic classroom? It's not a partisan space. It doesn't focus on political parties and their viewpoints. Instead, a democratic classroom engages students in living democratically by promoting values such as inclusion, voice, representation, and participation.

After prolonged periods of remote learning, our classroom communities have never been more relevant as spaces to nurture student agency, foster social belonging, and prepare our learners as active citizens. We can create this environment by establishing democratic classrooms: safe, inclusive learning environments, where students actively practice democratic values, understand their rights, and take responsibility for their behavior as both individuals and members of a community.

High-trust relationships and shared power between teachers and students

High degree of student voice and agency

Respect for children's ideas and contributions

Intentional sharing of diverse perspectives, including those about challenging issues

Use of dialogue and group decision-making, often through protocols

Development of the whole self, including students' critical consciousness

These are characteristics of the democratic classroom:

Practical Ways to Promote Agency and Participation With Students

Classroom setup: Start the school year by co-constructing features of the classroom with students and integrating their ideas into the design of the learning space. With your learners, consider the underlying beliefs and values that the classroom should promote. Using a Y-chart, ask them, "What should our classroom community look like, sound like, and feel like?"

For example, if students want a space that promotes collaboration and social belonging, how might a furniture layout help or hinder this? While rows of desks will limit social interaction, table groups will foster discussion and sharing. Make decisions with students about the placement of furniture and the nature of classroom decorations-for example, signs in students' home languages that reflect their beliefs and values. Think about what interactions might look like in the classroom space. How might this connect to the purpose of a space, such as promoting reflection? When and how should the teacher and students revisit the classroom design to see how it functions?

Reflect on how the classroom setup might communicate underlying power dynamics. For instance, does the teacher sit on a soft chair while the students are on hard chairs? Are all chairs directed toward the teacher? Does the teacher sit at a higher level than the students-for example, on a chair in a carpeted area, while children sit on the floor? How might such decisions promote or impede a democratic classroom climate?

Instead, we can shift power and share it with our students by decentralizing our classrooms. Using small group seating, not all physically directed toward the same classroom wall, we can promote agency and leverage the power of collaborative, peer-to-peer learning. When stools are placed in a circle for class discussion, students can speak directly to others in the class, instead of requiring constant meditation by the teacher. The traditional student-teacher ping-pong becomes a multiplayer basketball game. This allows us to move away from a teacher-as-authority stance and to the role of a learning facilitator as students develop communication and social skills.

Co-constructed class charter: Rather than creating classroom rules or expectations, co-construct a classroom charter with students. A charter is different because it focuses on students' rights as well as their responsibilities. It models how individual and group needs intersect, yet also deviate. As part of the design of a class charter, introduce students to a rights framework, such as the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child. Ask students to choose rights they believe need to be in place in order for them to learn. Next, given these rights, what are their responsibilities to ensure that these are upheld in the classroom community?

Importantly, the rights that students choose can't be taken away as punishment. However, the opportunity to infringe on other people's rights can be withdrawn. For example, a student can be stopped from exercising their freedom of speech if their words are discriminatory against others in the classroom. UNICEF Canada has more information about class charters.

Peaceful place: Peace begins with each student. If we want peaceful classroom communities, where students learn how to recognize their emotions and navigate conflict in productive ways, we need to teach strategies for being at peace. "A peaceful place" is a physical location in the classroom where students can reflect on their feelings, calm down, or resolve conflict with their peers. It may be a table at the back of the class, a play tent, or even a large cardboard box that can be painted by students.

By inviting students to identify, design, and decorate a peaceful place, we can introduce the notion of peace and set up classroom routines that promote personal and group well-being.

For instance, with elementary students, place paper, markers, and reading books in the space, so that students can use the area to cool off when feeling frustrated. Likewise, arrange a few chairs inside or next to the space to promote conflict resolution strategies such as recognizing emotions, using "I statements," and active listening. Importantly, a peaceful place should never be used for disciplinary purposes, such as a time out. Peace is a dynamic rather than passive concept, so ongoing practice and reflection on behavior is key. There's more information about this strategy in a book I wrote with Elizabeth O. Crawford, Worldwise Learning: A Teacher's Guide to Shaping a Just, Sustainable Future.

Structures for discussion and dialogue: Students benefit from structures and protocols that enable them to feel safe and secure during discussions. This is especially true when speaking about current events that may be contentious or produce strong emotions in our learners. Structures and protocols provide predictability and help to scaffold the development of communication skills. For engaging students in conversations about social justice issues, Learning for Justice's provides a number of concrete tips. For example, when structuring critical conversations, teach students to "Restate, Contemplate, Breathe, Communicate" to manage emotions or use temperature-check strategies such as Fist to Five to understand students' comfort level.

Likewise, Facing History and Ourselves has a number of strategies that teachers can use before, during, or after discussions, such as "Big Paper" to promote silent conversations or "Cafe Conversations" where students take on the role of an assigned perspective in a small group discussion.

The democratic classroom fosters critical thinking, authentic participation, and social and emotional learning. It's a humanizing space that empowers our students. As American scholar and activist bell hooks says, this is "education as a practice of freedom." Part of creating a democratic classroom is being aware of how to set up our classrooms, establish community, and make space for students' diverse voices, opinions, and perspectives.

This is part of our hidden curriculum. Whether intentional or not, our choices communicate beliefs, values, and expectations to students. If we want our students to become active citizens, we must ensure that our routines, structures, and interactions mirror this aim.

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A look at how to set up a classroom that promotes shared responsibilities so that students are engaged in their community. What is a democratic classroom? It's not a partisan space. It doesn't focus on political parties and their viewpoints. Instead, a democratic classroom engages students in living democratically by promoting values such as inclusion, voice, representation, and participation.

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Imagine a moment in the school day when a child acts out in an inappropriate way. In response, you could spend time explicitly teaching your students expected behaviors (certain students with disabilities need explicit instruction) and reminding them of the consequences of not complying. Or you could hold a classroom circle and have students themselves come up with solutions.

Classroom circles serve as a way to build relationships and resolve conflicts in classroom communities. They help students understand their own role in, and take responsibility for, creating and maintaining a happy and peaceful classroom. When my co-teacher and I learned about the theory behind classroom circles, it wasn't long before we began making them part of the weekly routine in our 2nd-grade integrated co-teaching classroom.

The use of classroom circles to teach restorative practices begins with a change in mindset from punishment-based responses to challenging inappropriate behavior. Instead of creating lists of consequences, we focus on ways to change behaviors in order to alleviate problems in our classrooms. The goal is for students, teachers and all members of the classroom to build a positive and peaceful community.

In a classroom circle, all members feel valued and all members have a voice in improving the situation when something goes wrong. In turn, we help our students develop empathy for one another as well as an understanding of how their behavior affects their classmates. As students develop a greater understanding of other people's feelings, they develop stronger social and emotional skills.
Classroom circles can also support conflict resolution when students discuss how to correct mistakes and prevent future damage to relationships. Students learn how to generate ideas that lead to the resolution of problems.

Some specific components to a classroom circle must be prepared in advance. The first rule is that all members should be sitting or standing in a circle where everyone can be seen and heard. This promotes the dialogue necessary for an effective circle. It also ensures that all circle members have a sense of accountability.

The members of the circle must create a "community agreement" at the onset of a classroom circle routine, where all members negotiate the terms for a safe and respectful circle. Although no circle member can be forced to participate, the agreement within the circle should ensure that members rarely choose to "pass" on speaking.
Physical Arrangements: The shape of the circle is very important. It is imperative that all members can be seen without having to turn around or lean over. Therefore, it may be necessary to move furniture around before circle time.

Materials:
Centerpiece: A centerpiece such as a mat or small tablecloth can be used to hold any objects of focus in the circle. The goal is to make students aware that circle time is special.

Talking Piece: Anything that can be easily passed from one student to another can be used to designate a speaker. If you are trying to establish circle time as a special or sacred moment in your day, it helps to choose a talking piece that has some sort of "history" or value. Talking pieces can be brought in by students and kept in a special area or basket, and they can be rotated over time.

High-Quality Prompts: The circle-keeper's starting questions or prompts are the focus of the circle. Consider the needs and trust level of your students when choosing a prompt for a classroom circle. All quality prompts must be relevant and meaningful to students and should be open-ended to promote deeper conversations. Prompts can vary from low-risk starter questions to higher-risk questions that help students explore relationships and feelings.

Structure of Events: The sequence of events in a classroom circle is important. The circle should have an opening, followed by community-building work (usually connected to a prompt) and then a closing. You can find materials online that detail the specific architecture of a classroom circle and offer a variety of prompts for all age and grade levels.

If you are looking for strategies to help build a strong and welcoming classroom community, exploring the restorative practice of a classroom circle may be a great next step. A word of caution: Classroom circles provide behavior support, but they don't eliminate the need to teach strategies explicitly for some students, particularly students with autism.

Additional resources are available online at the International Institute for Restorative Practices and the Orange County Department of Education

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Developing community through classroom circles

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Classroom circles serve as a way to build relationships and resolve conflicts in classroom communities.

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Social emotional learning helps students build social skills to then learn how to best manage their emotions to apply them to relationships.

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Social emotional learning (SEL) is more important now than ever.

SEL is the process by which people, both children and adults, develop the knowledge, self-awareness and personal well-being to build the emotional competencies that help them thrive in both academics and life.

Likewise, social emotional learning activities give kids the tools they need to deal with challenging situations, cope with new environments, develop a growth mindset and forge positive relationships with their peers and beyond.

Wondering how to bring social emotional learning to your classroom or school? We'll cover:

We even asked teachers who use Prodigy to give us their recommendations!

What is social emotional learning?

Social emotional learning helps students build social skills, form healthy relationships and manage their emotions.

According to the Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL):

For many students, school is a major source of meaningful relationships and one of the first places they make social connections outside of their immediate family. Building these skills from a young age is incredibly important for academic and lifelong success.

So what? You might say. Children learn these skills on their own - they don't need to be taught at school.

You might be surprised.

Social emotional learning needs to be taught to have maximum impact. Researchers agree that students with well-developed social emotional skills see improved academic and social outcomes:

So what, exactly, does social emotional learning include? CASEL lists five core social emotional learning competencies:

1. Self-awareness -Recognizing emotions and thoughts, understanding how they influence behavior and assessing personal strengths and weaknesses.

2. Self-management - Regulating thoughts, emotions and behaviors. Setting goals, controlling impulses and managing stress.

3. Social awareness - Understanding the perspective of others, showing empathy for diverse groups of people and finding support through family, school and community relationships.

4. Relationship skills - Communicating, cooperating, resisting negative pressure and offering help. Building and maintaining healthy relationships.

5. Responsible decision-making -Making ethical and respectful choices about personal behavior and relationships, and evaluating the consequences of decisions.

Why is social emotional learning important?

Social emotional learning equips students with skills they'll use well after they leave school, and is essential part of the way students learn in a rapidly changing society.

A great by-product of #SEL is that it not only creates the foundation for life-long learning but also stimulates the development of our most critical interpersonal skills; the ability to work collaboratively, show empathy for others, & communicate respectfully with diverse ppl.
- SocialEmotionalLearning (@SELearningEDU) February 28, 2020

Plus, social emotional learning impacts academic outcomes for students of all backgrounds!

A 2011 meta-analysis on the effectiveness of social emotional learning found students in schools with high-quality social emotional learning programs showed an average gain of 11% in academic achievements.

For every dollar schools invest in social emotional learning, they see an average long-term return of 11 dollars in their school and the wider community.

The earlier social emotional learning skills are developed, the better

According to a study commissed by the OECD , teaching kindergarteners basic social and emotional skills"[can] have long-term academic benefits on students' reading and vocabulary, including in high poverty schools, suggesting that SEL may assist in closing achievement gaps."

Overall, students with strong social and emotional skills are:

Think of how many students could you reach with the right social emotional learning program or activities!

Social emotional learning activities for all ages

No matter what grade your students are in, these activities can be adapted to help teach core social and emotional skills.

1. Art activities

Art is a great way for students of all ages to relieve stress and express their emotions in a positive, healthy way.

Start by picking a piece of music (or even a poem or story) for students to react to. Ask them to use art supplies to react, providing prompts like:

2. Practical tasks

Your classroom is a busy place, and there's a lot happening. Keep it organized with a chart that encourages students to take responsibility and complete simple, age-appropriate classroom tasks like:

Watering plants

Sharpening pencils

Erasing the chalkboard

Keeping track of timed activities

Delivering attendance to the office

Keeping the classroom library organized

Turning the lights on and off in the classroom

If you're teaching remotely, put students in charge of:

Tracking attendance

Moderating the chat section

Giving a short weather report

Choosing from a list of brain breaks

Rebecca K., a 3rd grade teacher and member of Prodigy's Champions Club, says:

3. Mindfulness activities

Alright, let's pause.

Breathe in, and out.

Lower your shoulders and sit up straight.

Doesn't that feel better?

Mindfulness breaks can help students of all ages learn how to identify and regulate their emotions when they're sad, scared or stressed.

Take a minute in your classroom and try some of the activities below.

Teach students to STOP when they encounter an emotional situation. Roleplay some stressful situations and teach students to:

Ask students to identify where they're holding stress in their bodies. This can be tense shoulders, a frown or even a bouncing leg. Guide them through releasing stress for a more balanced body.

Pay attention to the senses. Ask students to identify:

4. Goal-setting activities

A big part of social emotional learning is cultivating a growth mindset - and what better way to do that than setting goals?

Make goal setting a regular part of your classroom routine, whether you:

Host student-led conferences - Set academic and behavioral goals

Start a new unit - Use a KWL (Know, Want to Know, Learned) chart to help students identify which skills they want to develop

Give feedback on a project - What did students do well? What should they focus on next time?

Jane H., a teacher in Prodigy's Champions Club, knows the importance of building a growth mindset:

5. Student check-ins

When students learn, they bring their emotions with them. Prodigy teachers like Arpie M. and Amber A. recommend starting your day with a check-in to understand what students are feeling:

6. Reading books

SEL skills: Self-management, social awareness
Materials: Your favorite SEL book ( try this list for ideas)

Boost reading comprehension and social emotional learning with books designed to teach key social emotional learning skills. Co-learner and elementary teacher Lesley P. says:

Use social emotional learning books as an opportunity to introduce your students to diverse authors, characters and emotions.

For younger students, use read-alouds to model emotions and encourage students to respond with their own feelings. Older students can respond in class discussions or journal entries.

7. Setting aside time for online community

It's hard to build a community if you need to teach your students through distance learning. So try setting aside a few minutes a week where students (and their parents) can drop in and chat about:

If you'd like, bring along some icebreaker questions or online-friendly games you know your students will love. Your students will learn the value of relationships, and you'll get to know your students and learn how to engage with them in meaningful ways.

8. Icebreaker activities

SEL skills: Self-awareness, relationship skills
Materials: Our list of the best classroom icebreakers

Icebreakers are a fun and easy way for students of all ages to share a little bit about themselves in a low-pressure environment. They also give students a chance to reflect on their own emotions and desires for the year, and help them build relationships with each other.

Lauren W., a math teacher, loves doing this early in the school year:

And special educator, Crystal M., has figured out an effective way to incorporate icebreakers into virtual classrooms:

Social emotional learning activities for preschoolers and kindergarteners

It's never too early to start developing social emotional skills. Here are some activities you can use with the youngest students in your school!

9. Daily greetings

Get students excited about a new school day and give them the chance to set personal boundaries.

When students arrive in the classroom - either virtually or in person - give them a list of different greeting options.

Some popular choices are:

When you give students a choice, they can stop and evaluate their wants and needs, as well as their mood coming into the classroom.

10. Emotion identifiers

The best social emotional learning strategies are incorporated into regular classroom instruction.

Try this simple craft: Hand out paper plates and have students draw faces that represent simple emotions - happy, sad, angry and confused can be good places to start.

Attach the plates to popsicle sticks and use them as masks during read-alouds. While you're reading a story, ask your students how they think the characters are feeling.

You can even use the masks as a quick morning check-in to understand student emotions at the beginning of the day.

11. Calm-down corners

Being a kindergartener can be stressful - they're encountering new experiences, new friends and an unfamiliar environment.

Create a calm-down corner to help students deal with hard emotions. A calm-down corner looks different in every classroom, but try adding:

Send students to the calm-down corner when they need some quiet time alone, and encourage students to pay attention to their own emotions and use the resources on their own.

Social emotional learning activities for elementary school

Use these activities to teach elementary students about identifying emotions, being kind and working together.

12. Encouraging positive self-talk

SEL skills: Self-awareness, self-regulation
Materials: Our list of positive affirmations for kids
"This is too hard." "I guess this is good enough." "Everyone is better at this than I am!"
As a teacher, you have an important opportunity to build students up and influence how they think about themselves.

Gently correct students when you hear negative self-talk throughout the day, and use it as an opportunity to suggest kind thoughts:

Model this throughout your teaching, too - if you make a mistake, don't berate yourself. Use it as an opportunity to demonstrate positive self-talk and try again.

If you're looking for inspiration, check out this list of 27 positive affirmations for kids. It covers affirmations designed to:

It also includes some bonus mantras made specifically for grown-ups!

13. Learning about student interests

Build connections between students with a fun game of bingo! Hand out cards to students and ask them to find classmates that match the description on each square.

Use our bingo card to customize your set with descriptions like:

Plays soccer

Likes spinach

Has two or more siblings

Likes cats better than dogs

Speaks more than one language

Likes pancakes more than waffles

Favourite ice cream flavour is chocolate

And whatever else you can think of! Not only does it introduce students to diverse backgrounds and experiences, it's also an excellent first day of school activity.

14. Random acts of kindness

SEL skills: Relationship skills, social awareness
Materials: Our list of 93 random acts of kindness ideas!

Promote random acts of kindness in your classroom to build a positive school culture and help students develop empathy.

Some of our favorite ideas are:

Talk to a classmate that looks lonely

Lend a friend your favorite book or movie

Write thank-you notes for the school janitor

Hold the door open for the person behind you

Donate old towels and blankets to a local animal shelter

Students will learn the value of being kind to others and build relationships in and outside of the classroom!

15. Writing a story together

Hand out cue cards with story prompts or pictures. Start the story with "Once upon a time," then move to the next student. Students must use the prompt on the card and their social awareness skills to work together and build a compelling story.

Record the stories students come up with! Afterwards, ask them questions like

16. Morning questions

Start the day with a bang! Arianna R., a 2nd grade teacher, says:

You'll learn more about your students, and students will be able to bring more of themselves to the classroom.

Try questions like:

Morning questions are also easy to adapt for online learning, and can help students feel a sense of community even if they're not with their classmates in person.

17. Playing games

There are plenty of reasons game-based learning is great for students, but one of the most compelling is that it teaches students how to work together, solve problems and find solutions - while they learn.

A look inside the classroom of Special Populations Teacher, Melissa B., illustrates this:

Social emotional learning activities for middle school

For many students, middle school means changing social relationships and new responsibilities. Help them cope with social emotional learning activities that build relationship skills and self-awareness.

18. Journal writing

Journaling is a great way for middle school students (and up!) to process information, make sense of their emotions and reflect on the lesson.

Give students regular time each week for journaling. Provide prompts like:

To encourage student reflection, consider grading just one or two entries students choose to show you from the journal.

19. Debating

Debate is a great way to teach middle school students how to formulate arguments, actively listen and respectfully disagree with their peers.

Plus, it's easy to incorporate into your lesson!

Pick a debate topic around a novel your class just finished, a current event or anything else your students are passionate about.

Divide into teams, then have students create a structured argument and respond to their classmates. It's also a great way for students to practice public speaking skills!

20. Quote of the day

SEL skills: Self-awareness, relationship skills
Materials:A list of relevant quotes (check out our list of teacher quotes!)

Ask your students to respond to a significant quote on a given topic or issue and challenge them to think about the speaker's emotions, encouraging empathy and critical thinking.

Pick a quote and put it up on the board. Either in small groups, individual journaling responses or a whole-class discussion, ask students:

21. Student-led celebrations

Let your students blow off some steam and work together to plan a classroom party! Turn a celebration into a chance to teach responsibility, budgeting, time management, teamwork and more.

Provide students with a rubric to outline expectations, a clear time constraint, and a budget (even if that budget is $0.00).

Challenge them to:

Pick a theme

Send invites

Pick a date and time that works

Decorate the classroom

Plan and run activities the whole class will enjoy

Organize setup and clean up afterwards

You might be surprised at the ideas they come up with!

Social emotional learning activities for high school

It's critical for high schoolers to master effective communication and build relationships with people outside the classroom, whether they're heading to college or going straight into the workforce.

22. Class meetings

Make space for community and responsibility in your high school classroom and hold class meetings on a weekly or monthly basis.

Challenge students to bring ideas that make the class better, include all students in activities and solve problems.

You can use this as a space to gather student feedback, solve disagreements, plan class events or even just share!

It might take a bit for students to open up, but the results will be worth it. Consider using a Google Form or suggestion box in your classroom, then address the feedback as a group and develop solutions together.

23. Interest presentations

Every student is passionate about something - cartoons, soccer, knitting, bass guitar, you name it!

Harness those passions for a more involved learning experience! Ask students to find a real-world application they're passionate about for what you're learning in class.

Some ideas include:

Students will have the opportunity to connect with their classmates on a more personal level and find a way of relating to the class material.

24. Egg drop

While students of all ages will probably respond well to this activity, there's nothing that brings a group of teenagers together more than dropping things from high places and seeing what happens.

Challenge students to build a structure that will support a delicate, uncooked egg when it's dropped from the top of a ladder (or from the top of a school building, if possible).

They'll have to work together in teams to build an effective protection for their egg, and use conflict-resolution strategies to work effectively.

Afterwards, ask students to reflect on how their team worked together. If they weren't successful, what could they have done differently? If they did succeed, why?

25. Teamwork activities

Learning how to effectively work with others is the most important skill high school students can master as they head out into the real world.

Fortunately, there are many different teaching strategies that emphasize collaboration and cooperation:

Use cooperative learning to teach students the fundamentals of group work

Launch project-based learning in your classroom to harness student enthusiasm and encourage a spirit of discovery and cooperation

Assign service learning projects to show students the benefits of giving back to their community, while also connecting it to in-class lessons

Download your social emotional learning activities pdf

Our amazing team of Prodigy teachers has put together a package of worksheets to help you build social emotional skills with your students. Download yours today!

How to choose the best social emotional learning curriculum

If you've already seen success with SEL activities, why not try a whole curriculum for your classroom or school? Here are our tips for picking a curriculum that works for you.

Make it work for your school

Can your school handle an entirely new social emotional learning program, or is it something that can be integrated into the existing curriculum?

Depending on your school's goals and needs, social emotional learning can take different forms:

Relevant EdTech tools can also help students develop social emotional skills in different ways.

Virtual or augmented reality tools can help stressed students control their emotions

Online learning activities and communities teach students the importance of teamwork and collaboration

Game-based learning platforms like Prodigy Math can help students develop a growth mindset in an adaptive and engaging digital world.

Choose the right program for your grade

There's a big difference between social emotional learning skills in preschool and middle school. Many programs cover all grades, but some focus on age-specific skills.

Wondering what each age range needs? Here's what to focus on:

Preschool and kindergarten

Students just entering the classroom need to learn basic social skills like:

These skills can be developed through teacher modeling and age-appropriate discussions about emotions.

Elementary school

Guided discussions, read-aloud stories and problem-solving opportunities can teach basic social skills and appropriate classroom behavior.

The earlier parents and community members get involved, the better. Take-home materials can reinforce social emotional learning activities at home.

Middle school

Students need to understand how to transition between classes and tackle new academic challenges. Staff should work together to create cohesive strategies for the classroom and extracurricular activities.

Middle school is often a time of changing social dynamics, so focusing on healthy relationships and stress management can also be beneficial.

High school

Subject-specific strategies work best in high school, where students usually work with different teachers every day.

High school students need to:

Make it research-backed

Even the most well-intentioned social emotional learning curriculum can fail if it's not supported by sound pedagogical practices, solid research and clear, actionable goals.

The same 2011 study that connected academic gains with social emotional learning also created a framework school leaders could use to determine the effectiveness of a social emotional learning program: SAFE.

SAFE stands for Sequenced, Active, Focused and Explicit. When considering a program, ask:

Does the program contain sequenced activities that teach relevant social emotional skills in ways that connect and build on each other?

Does the program promote active learning techniques like discussions, modeling or role play?

Is the program mainly focused on developing one or more social emotional skills relevant to my school's needs?

Is the program explicit about targeting specific social emotional skills?

If your program ticks all these boxes, congrats! You're ready to implement social emotional learning in your school.

Are you an administrator or teacher? Here are 4 steps for bringing social emotional learning to your school

Here are five key steps to help you implement social emotional learning in a responsible, effective way:

1. Talk to your stakeholders

Students don't just develop social emotional skills in the classroom. They cultivate them in school hallways, the larger community and at home.

Student development occurs in multiple contexts, and some programs might require you to collaborate with other stakeholders and build connections.

A stakeholder is anyone with an interest in bringing effective social emotional learning to your school, including:

Parents

Teachers

Students

School and district administrators

Community members and leaders

Counsellors and other school staff

Communicate with stakeholders before, during and after implementation to understand their needs, resources, limitations and goals. Get a wide variety of perspectives using:

When stakeholders feel like their opinions are taken seriously, they're more likely to be active partners in social emotional learning.

2. Define your goals

Implementing social emotional learning in your school requires thoughtful planning and implementation in coordination with all your stakeholders.

Consider starting with a small pilot program. Talk to the teachers you think would be the most receptive to social emotional learning in their classrooms and work with them to create a plan. Then check in frequently, collect regular feedback and adjust your efforts as needed.

If all goes well, those teachers will become experts who can guide, support and encourage the next group of teachers who join the program.

Don't try to do everything all at once, and make sure you regularly ask for feedback to assess the effectiveness of your program.

4. Implementation

Now it's time to bring social emotional learning to life in your school!

According to researchers at the University of British Columbia, there are eight factors of effective social emotional learning program implementation:

Fidelity - Was the program delivered as intended?

Dosage - How much of the program was delivered?

Quality - How competent and well-trained were the teachers delivering the program?

Adaptation - Was the program changed in any way?

Participant engagement - How engaged were students?

Differentiation - Was the intervention unique, compared to other programs?

Monitoring of the control condition - What activities took place in the control group while the experimental group received instruction?

Reach - What portion of eligible students participated in the intervention?

Examining these factors will help you make sure your social emotional learning is effective for your school.

Implementing social emotional learning programs & activities

Building a schoolwide initiative around social emotional learning doesn't happen overnight.

To make your classroom or school district collaborative for academic learning alongside SEL instruction takes time and patience. But these social emotional learning activities can begin to bridge the gap by pairing academic learning with development of the whole child.

Students can achieve at a high level while learning maturity, responsibility and self-control, and build toward a positive mental health outlook.

Social emotional learning can go a long way to promoting a better school experience for every student!

Prodigy engages students and helps build math skills

Prodigy Math is an adaptive, engaging platform that turns math into an adventure! Sign up today for your free teacher account and get tools to help you differentiate math questions, align in-game content with your lessons and track student progress.

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25 Social Emotional Learning Activities & How They Promote Student Well-Being

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Social emotional learning (SEL) is more important now than ever. SEL is the process by which people, both children and adults, develop the knowledge, self-awareness and personal well-being to build the emotional competencies that help them thrive in both academics and life.

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This article shares better ways teachers can approach discipline that allows students to effectively solve issues.

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Restorative discipline seeks to create an environment in which problem behavior is less likely to occur.

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This article helps teachers respectfully talk to their students about behavior that is not wanted in the classroom setting. Positively communicating and addressing behavior can better students and it shows them what the teacher expects from them. When talking and addressing issues, this can help students be heard in order to find extra help, if needed, and help for future unwanted behavior. It also allows there to be a relationship between student and teacher.

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Addressing students' behavior can be tough, but it's possible to approach them in ways that show compassion and help them feel ready to discuss the issue.

We've read about and witnessed firsthand the mental health crisis and increase in behavioral challenges of students this year. Because of those challenges, which are coupled with a lack of mental health providers in schools, educators often find themselves in a position of having difficult conversations with students around social, emotional, and behavioral struggles. As many teachers report an increase in stress, responding to challenging behaviors and student emotional needs can leave us feeling exhausted.

The four simple steps that follow can assist you when having difficult conversations with students. They can be used as part of a process after a student has escalated, when a student shares about a struggle, or when you are trying to interact with a disengaged student.

1. Start by Checking In

Check the situation: Before you enter a conversation, it's important to first determine if the situation warrants a conversation or requires a behavioral intervention. Ask yourself, "Is this a crisis?" If the student is engaging in behaviors that are unsafe toward themselves or others, attend to the safety issue first, and then once the crisis is over and the student is de-escalated, you can prepare for a conversation.

Check yourself: Before you enter any conversation, do a quick check-in with yourself to see how you're doing and if you're ready and able to engage in a difficult conversation. These are questions to ask yourself: What am I feeling? Am I my best self? Am I calm? Can I think clearly and rationally? If you find yourself feeling anxious, frustrated, or not your best self, take a few minutes to settle your own emotions. There are many great mindfulness exercises that will quickly help you settle your own emotions and help ground you. Remember, you put on your own oxygen mask first before you can help anyone else.

Check the student: Take a few seconds to look at the student and observe their body language, eye contact, and behaviors. See if you can quickly determine any information about whether it's a good time to approach the student by carefully observing their appearance and actions. Perhaps the student is looking disheveled as if they have not showered recently, or they seem tired or hungry. These may be signs that the student's basic needs must be addressed and could also be impacting their behavior.

Check the environment: Make sure that you and the student are in a safe and confidential place before engaging in a conversation.

2. Converse to Understand the Student's Needs

Once you've completed your checks and come to the conclusion that you're emotionally ready to have a conversation, the student is willing and able to talk, and the setting is conducive to chatting, then you can start the conversation. Using restorative practices in the conversation helps you focus on supporting the student.

Engage the student: The first part of any effective conversation involves engaging the student. This can be done through a regular greeting like "Hey" or asking an opening question like "How are you doing?" As you start engaging the student, it's important to focus on the issue at hand. State the facts without any emotions or feeling statements, making comments such as "I have noticed you've been showing up late" or "You seem really tired and have been sleeping in class." If the student doesn't immediately respond to the facts, it's helpful to normalize struggles through compassionate statements such as "It's a hard time for a lot of people right now" or "I know a lot of people are really struggling with... now."

Explore what's going on: Take some time to explore what's going on in the student's life. You can do this by asking open-ended questions to elicit more information, focusing on details such as who, what, when, where, and how. When you find yourself stuck on not knowing what to say next, you can always ask, "Can you tell me more about that?"

Validate, don't fix: When a student starts talking, it's important to provide validation through comments such as "That sounds really rough" or "I think a lot of people would feel the same way in that situation. It makes perfect sense that you felt that way."​ Validation shows that you care about the student. Remember, it's not your job to fix everything. Watch this short video, It's Not About the Nail, for a humorous look at the difference between validating someone and trying to fix the problem.

Confirm your understanding: To ensure that the student feels heard and to make sure you have an accurate understanding of the situation, it's helpful to ask clarifying questions like "When you said..., what did you mean?"​ Paraphrasing or summarizing involves retelling what the student shared and voicing statements such as "It seems like you have a lot going on. You talked about..."​ and "In my understanding, the main challenges here are..." It's helpful to ask, "Was there anything else that I missed?"

3. Make a Sincere Connection

Connect with the student: To let the student know you care, you can say things like "I'm here for you" and "You have a lot of people, including me, who care about you."

Connect potential solutions: To let your student know that they're not alone, use "we" instead of "you" statements, as in "What can we do to make this better?" Instead of simply offering advice, ask the student questions like "What are some options of what could be done?" or "What do you need right now?" If the student is having trouble thinking of ways to help the situation, you can ask, "If your friend had this challenge, what would you say to them?"

Connect to resources: This is the important part of the conversation, where you help direct the student to supportive resources and coping strategies. Through asking questions like "What can you do the next time you're struggling?" "Who else can you talk with about this?" or "What or who can make this better?" you can guide students in exploring and identifying their support systems.

4. End on a Positive Note

Thank the student for sharing​: To wrap up the conversation and reinforce that you care about the student, it's important to thank them with phrases such as "Thank you for talking with me today" or "I appreciate you opening up and sharing with me." It's helpful to think of difficult conversations as a gift and an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with the student.

After conversation, plan to follow up​. Serious conversations aren't simply a onetime thing but are opportunities to continue the topic at later times. To conclude the conversation, you can end it with a statement such as "I want to check in later. Let's plan to talk more tomorrow" or "Next week, I'll follow up with you to see how you're doing with this."

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4 Steps to Discussing Challenging Behavior With a Student

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Addressing students' behavior can be tough, but it's possible to approach them in ways that show compassion and help them feel ready to discuss the issue.