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Dear Me,

I am sorry.

I’m sorry that you tried so desperately to fix others, while your own hands were shaking. I’m sorry that I didn’t give you enough time to heal, that I let you seal the wounds of everybody else whilst your own were bleeding. I’m sorry that there were days when smiling hurt but you forced yourself to laugh so that no one had to worry about you. I’m sorry that you gave all of your time and effort to people that didn’t do the same amount back. I’m sorry that there were nights when you cried yourself to sleep and no one bothered to understand why. And I am so incredibly sorry that I did not love you, like you deserved to be loved.

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Today I am okay,
It's funny I feel just fine,
Even though tomorrow will be different,
I'm really okay this time,

I know tomorrow I will cry,
And I know that yesterday I wept,
But right now I'm peaceful,
As if I have just slept,

The problem with time is it just keeps  going,
To spin, be spinning, to have spun
It takes away your breath, your very life,
And your day's over before it's begun,

It's terrifying actually,
How there is never really a present,
As soon as it's tangible it's the past,
To be meaning something is really to have meant.

So please stop, stay still,
Let me be okay for eternity,
But time spins out of control,
And after you'll have forgotten me.

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That’s just me

I enjoy being alone, a lot,but I am very outgoing and social ( sometimes). My environment dictates how I behave and interact. Sometimes I’m loud and outgoing, other times I’m quiet and antisocial. I read the room and adjust It also depends on who’s in the room and the kind of relationship I have with that person. And yea there are times when I just want to turn up and have fun, but there’s also moments where I just want to read a good book or process thoughts, alone. I guess you could say I’m also a paradox. I want to be happy, but I think of very depressed things. I’m lazy, yet ambitious. I don’t like myself, but I also really love who I am. I say I don’t care, but I really do care. In fact,I may care more than you. I crave attention and affection, but reject it when It comes my way. I’m a conflicted contradiction. If I can’t figure myself out, there’s no one in life or death who can or already has figured me out.

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Me and you My words,your words They are the same in one If I don’t listen you will If I love, you hateBut?It’s no longer the same Everything changed You moved on and I stayed in time You laugh, I die I reaped what you sowedYet still I find myself stuck in time with your ghost Our memories No wordsNo pain Just me and you

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Me and you My words,your words They are the same in one If I don’t listen you will If I love, you hateBut?It’s no longer the same Everything changed You moved on and I stayed in time You laugh, I die I reaped what you sowedYet still I find myself stuck in time with your ghost Our memories No wordsNo pain Just me and you

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In my mind

You died and I cried

In my mind

You left and I stayed

Alone&hurt

Broken yet mended

In my mind

I was happy

Yet you came back

And hurt me again

Broken yet mended once again

In my mind you stayed away

Leaving me,This time happy and fixed completely
By,Maxine