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I will just have to face it, alone! I'm not sure why this is happening to me. Is it simply because I'm taller than my class mates? Is it because I'm blonde and they're jelous? I don't know. I spend every minute of my waking day wondering what's going to happen next. Are they going to come looking for a fight when I'm in the loo?. Are they going to ridicule me in front of a group of boys (one of whom I like, and they know it!)? i'm in this alone, none of my teachers realise, although the house head has her suspitions. Nothing is said, all is quiet, and I'm alone. My parents don't know anything either! I don't want to have to change schools, so I keep my problem to myself! I just hope this year it doesn't get any worse...

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I only care what I think of myself. I don't need anyone else to tell me what clothes I should wear, or my haircut. I will do what I want, I will be the person I've always wanted to be. Real friends support you during the bad times, not the good ones.

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I just want to be myself. Is it so difficult to understand? I want to have friends and be happy. I want to enjoy going to school like everybody else does. I want to look at myself in the mirror without feeling ashamed. I'm smart and beautiful... Yes, I am beautiful... I don't care anymore what all those bullies think or say... They don't know anything about me.

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I found a seat in the back row... It was early, and I could hear the girls welcoming their friends in a loud voice. They wanted to be heard, to be noticed, to be popular...! I saw their confident manners when they met the boys, and noticed their giggle when they told them about their summer, the boyfriends they made and how easily they dumped them. I wish I'd had a summer -a holiday, I mean!
And when the bell rang to summon us all into our classroom... she came in!

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They are always looking at me. I can't stand being looked at with such unwelcoming faces. Why does it have to be me? Can't they focus on someone else? I'm sometimes under the impression that it will never stop. Being looked at is one thing but the other.... Speechless, gutless, reliefless, resourceless. That is how I feel.

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The first day of school arrived. I was ready to get the bus to school, my backpack was ready and so was my lunchbox, I was the only one who was not ready. I was nervous and my mum realised: " Relax sweethoney, second year is not so difficult, you will be able to pass all your exams if you study hard, go for it!!!" If she knew why was I so nervous she would help me, but I cannot tell her, no way.

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....but I am also smarter than last year. Last summer I had plenty of time to think. Plenty of time of time to read books. Plenty of time to make plans. And now I know, they won't do that again to me or to any of my mates. We may not be as thin, as cool or as attractive as they are. But we have got something they miss: brains within our little heads. And we are ready to use them. Last week I met some of my not-attractive classmates in the public library and we all agreed: we must be together to face them.

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Today is the last day I will enjoy being me. School starts tomorrow and I will pretend I'm looking forward to it. But I'm not. They will be there. Waiting. Planning how to make my life miserable one more year. And it is going to be worse, I know. I've grown at least 10 centimetres since June and won a few pounds too...