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Angel: One of the ways I express the message, "I thought of you" or "This made me think of you," to my friends and family is by giving them gifts. It is the love language that requires a tangible object to express one's love, but it is the form of love language that communicates a thoughtful approach to expressing, "I love you." Receiving gifts may seem too much of a burden for me, but I love giving gifts to my friends and family.

Maxine: Receiving gifts is my second favourite of the love languages. I am a very material and sentimental person with the joint trait of being forgetful, so being given gifts is very welcome as it is just putting love into things that I can hold and remember. Besides that, food can also be considered a gift, and whenever people in my life give me chocolates or anything sweet, I have this warm feeling that can only be described as feeling known.

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Angel: The cliche phrase, "action speaks louder than words," applies to this form of love language. Physical touch is the love language I relate to most among the four Dr. Chapman enumerated in his book. I mostly feel appreciated and cared for when my friends pat, hug, or hold my hand. Physical touch gives a different sense of comfort and warmth over all the love languages presented.

Maxine: This is probably the most straightforward and physical expression of love. Every once in a while, I do appreciate hugging my friends and family. There is something about people mutually allowing each other to enter their personal spaces and the trust that one puts in others when hugging.

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Smell is another form of nonverbal communication (Wood 2011). Olfactics involves the meanings we associate with the olfactory memory of an event that holds value or impression to us as individuals. In the love language of gift-giving, olfactics communicates one's love or appreciation through giving gifts, particularly scented objects. When you smell roses on your way home, it may remind you of the flowers your lover gave you, or when you light the scented candle your friend gifted, you may feel more appreciated as you enjoy the scent your friend carefully chose for you.  The olfactics reinforces the expression of love through one's sense of smell by incorporating the intimate sensation through scents.

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The use of tangible objects to communicate one's identity, devotion, culture, beliefs, and tradition; artifacts reflect different aspects of a person, including their intention and thoughts. Wearing expensive jewelry likely express elegance and wealth, while giving your lover a ring would signify your commitment and love. Artifacts are a form of nonverbal communication that strengthens the love language of gift-giving. Giving your friends friendship bracelets or necklaces may communicate your loyalty and love towards your friendship. Also, giving your mother flowers may express that you thought of her and love her. People whose love language is gift-giving or receiving gifts communicate their love towards their friends, family, and lovers through the use of artifacts.

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Giving and receiving gifts from their friends, family, and lovers make people with gift-giving as their love language feel most loved. Expressing your love by giving your friend a Star Wars pouch because the design reminds you of them or receiving a gift from your friend is similar to saying, "I love you," to each other. Often, gift-giving is viewed as greedy due to the misconception that every gift must be grandeur to be seen as an act of love. Buying your friend's or lover's favorite snack, buying them coffee before they get to work, even giving them trinkets, they will appreciate it as long as the gift is well thought out.

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Wood (2011) states that how space is used nonverbally communicates the level of closeness and desire or the lack of desire for interaction in a relationship. In the love language, physical touch, space reinforces how friends, family, or partners communicate love. When a friend sits far, the distance may be transmitted as a form of emotional distance from each other, while sitting closely with each other communicates more intimacy. This instance reflects proxemics in physical touch as a love language.

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Physical touch is closely associated with nonverbal communication. Haptics is a vital component of physical intimacy in interpersonal relationships, particularly in communicating love nonverbally. People with physical touch as their love language share their love through this nonverbal form of communication, either with friends, family, or lovers. Wood (2011) cites that physical touch is essential for a healthy life; people with this love language emotionally thrive when love is communicated through physical touch.

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Some prefer appropriate physical touch and feel most loved having their hands held. Physical touch as a love language does not revolve around the "physical" for sexual intercourse; according to Dr. Chapman, people commonly mistake sex as an expression of the love language, physical touch. A pat on the back, squeezing their hands, a hug, a cuddle, or leaning on their shoulder is already meaningful for a person whose love language is physical touch. Intimate and non-intimate forms of physical touch make them feel loved, whether by friends, family, or lovers.

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Maxine: Quality time is probably my most preferred love language, I love being with family and friends and just making memories. Personally, I do feel that a person values me if they want to spend time with me. On the more negative end of that though, whenever a person cancels plans or does not seem any amount of eager to be with me, it communicates to me that I am not important to that person, at least in that moment in time.

Angel: Like Max, quality time is also my most preferred love language and physical touch. Having quality time with my friends and family reflects the message that they want to use their important time to bond with me, which makes me feel more loved. Similarly, I also prioritize giving my time to people I love. When I make plans with my friends and family, I make sure that it is well spent. That is why I also expect the same from others. If their actions may seem that their willingness to spend time with me is not present (i.e., abruptly canceling planned meetings), it communicates that they lack the interest to be with me and that I am not worthy of their time that they would rather spend it with others.

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Chronemics, in the similar sense, has to do with how an individual uses their time. Usually for people, choosing who to spend their time with indicates how much they value another person. Instances of these can be a group of friends going out for coffee or a family having regular game nights.

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Environmental factors, much like its name suggests, has to do with space and setting and how it has effects on one’s mood and behavior. Acts of service that equates with this are cleaning/organizing the house for a friend or parent who is stressed or setting up candles and a spread of food for a relaxing night in. Spending quality time that can be classified under this is something like decorating a space together.

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Chapman, Gary. “What Are the 5 Love Languages?” Discover Your Love Language - The 5 Love Languages®. Accessed April 2022. https://www.5lovelanguages.com/learn.

Wood, Julia T. “Engaging in Nonverbal Communication.” Essay. In Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to the Field of Communication, 6th ed., 94–108. Boston, MA: Cengage Learning, 2011.

University of Arizona Global Campus. “The Psychology behind the 5 Love Languages.” Accessed April 2022. The University of Arizona Global Campus, 10 Dec. 2021, www.uagc.edu/blog/the-psychology-behind-the-5-love-languages.

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These preferences are for people who have more of an inclination for love expressed through actions. With families, it can be by watching a movie or having dinner at home together. For friends, it is helping each other study or even helping one move houses. We have put these two categories together as we believe they exhibit two of the same nonverbal behaviors: environmental factors and chronemics.

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Maxine: As stated in the introduction, people build preferences over time from their life experiences. From my perspective, those of us who were raised in a Filipino household find that we want words of affirmation from our parents. Besides an “I love you,” something that I personally grew to appreciate and hope for is an “I’m proud of you, anak!” or “good job!”; since I have observed that my parents have the ability to be excited, I also want them to be enthusiastic if they want to say they are proud of me.

Angel: For others, words may seem lacking when it comes to proving our love. Personally, I hold value in the words of others and also in what I say. I make sure that my actions hold true to the words I utter to myself and to other people. However, this may affect me negatively as I expect others to commit to their word. I feel disappointed when my friends or family usually say something they do not actually commit to, as it communicates the lack of respect and recognition that I am a person of my own end, who can understand and deserves the truth. To me, I feel more recognized and respected when people tell me the truth, and do not sugarcoat it with lies to make me feel better or reassured.

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Another case of words of affirmation being supported by nonverbal behavior is called kinesics, which is a behavior associated with the motion of the body (including the face).   For instance, an individual can be more responsive to someone’s compliment if it seems more genuine or at least more willingly given; expressing this ranges from direct eye contact to enthusiastic facial expressions and body posture.

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Details such as tone and inflection can affect the way something is said; for instance, people’s reaction being told “You did a really good job.” depends on the inflection and they must deduce whether it is a genuine expression of someone’s pride in them or sarcasm. The type of nonverbal behavior this can be associated with is paralanguage, which has to do with vocal cues and how it can signal the different kinds of expressions.

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In this discussion forum, we wish to go over the five love languages and classify the types of nonverbal behaviors, as found in Julia T. Wood’s Communication Mosaics: An Introduction to Communication (2011), that these love languages can be associated with. Such as the common usage for the five love languages itself, these nonverbal behaviors will most likely have to do with an individual’s response to being on the receiving end. However, while the love languages are famously discussed with romantic relationships in mind, we will be applying them mostly to platonic relationships.

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We have found that the five love languages, as defined by Gary Chapman, can be applied to these preferences, especially on nonverbal forms of communication. Much like preferences for other everyday things, these are built up over time and are products of many factors (like how parents interacted with each other and the individual as a child).

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While words of affirmation indicate the use of verbal communication, nonverbal communication can still apply as it is used a supporting and even collaborative instrument in conveying the overall expression. Wood (2011) states that the two (verbal and nonverbal) can interact with each other.

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Introduction: Love Languages and Preferences on Nonverbal Behaviors

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Introduction: Love Languages and Preferences on Nonverbal Behaviors

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People have different preferences in all aspects of living, and since communication and personal relationships are very common and heavily involved in people’s lives, of course individuals will have their own unique set of preferences on how to be communicated to.