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I have always lived my life in halves. I have never gone to a school for more than two years, with my dad’s transfer bringing us to the States when I was eight landing me in a new elementary school for third grade, and my own decision to transfer out of art school and into a public middle school halfway through seventh grade. Finally, when I thought I would be allowed to finish my secondary education without switching schools, my dad got a new job. We moved to Plano, Texas after my sophomore year of high school, and now here I am, at the University of Texas at Austin, where I can hopefully break the pattern.

To be frank, all of the moving around and switching schools made it difficult for me to be truly vulnerable. I was, and still am, afraid of getting too close to people because it would just hurt both of us more when I eventually had to leave. Though logically I know it doesn’t make any sense, I am tired of hurting people and losing friends when I move, so it was just easier to keep people at arm's length. This obviously made things difficult in a creative setting, where trust is essential and knowledge about one another is almost a given. But I scraped by.

After a year here at UT, I realized that we, as freshmen, were all in the same boat. That had never been the case for me before, but it was a welcomed change. Being able to talk to people who were, for once, going through the same thing was huge for me. It opened lines of communication I didn’t have access to before, and especially when considering that a lot of my new friends are pursuing the same thing I am, who want the same things out of life, it was just an amazing feeling. I felt heard and understood in ways I never had before. Now, at the end of our freshman year, as I look forward to the next three years we have ahead of us, I can confidently say that I am not afraid of letting these people know me, even as I get to know myself. I know that I will change as a person and as an artist in these next few years, but I cannot wait to learn and grow with my friends beside me.

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For my inspiration, I chose to talk about Dev Patel and Zendaya. They are two prominent actors of color who have not perpetuated negative stereotypes about their races, but more importantly, do not exclusively play characters based on the color of their skin. This issue is something I take very seriously because even as the industry becomes more and more diverse, most roles for people of color are written for their race. While yes, this is a better place than we were a decade ago, many conversations I have had with friends have centered around the idea that we want to be cast because of our work, not the color of our skin. This applies in both ways. I do not want to be cast only because I am brown, but I do not want to not be cast because I am brown. We need more roles that are not dependent on the race of the character to allow for true diversity in the work we do. I kept this in mind as we were talking about directing, and intimacy directing as well, because one of the most important things I can do as a person of color hoping to go into this industry is learning how to make things better for people who look like me so that their experience is better than my own. Learning how to safely direct people in scenes is very important, so working with Dr. Grapko on asserting boundaries on both ends was something that impacted my work. There are lots of instances where, when someone has to fight for their power, do so much more than just earn it, they believe that others should have to undergo that same fight, but in reality our job is to lessen the steepness of that climb, make it easier for others.

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Dev Patel and Zendaya are both huge inspirations. Their careers have reflected their commitment to diversity and inclusion. I have never seen a brown person in a period drama (as in The Green Knight), and Zendaya has portrayed a wide variety of roles not generally offered to POC. This collage shows both of these elements of their careers.

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The two values I have been consistently writing about all semester are open-mindedness and professionalism. I still believe that both are essential to a healthy environment in which to create theatre. Open-mindedness promotes collaboration, which is a pillar of theatre, and professionalism creates a safe workplace for all involved parties. Open minds and professionalism were infinitely important as we learned about intimacy direction in class. Setting boundaries makes us uncomfortable, and sometimes I think that applies to us as a generation, but that week of class truly changed who I am as a performer and as a technician. The part that really stuck with me was when Dr. Grapko noticed our body language as we were answering her questions. She truly embodied what she was teaching us. The week of learning about Intimacy Direction showed me what our rehearsals should look like. We should always feel safe and protected, and I know that a lot of us didn’t have that modeled for us as we grew up. However, when that was acknowledged in class, we all felt such relief. Not because we were glad we did not have the experience, but because we could learn and be better for those we teach. We put these practices into action over the course of our final project. We asked questions before taking action, set boundaries, and only took part in what we felt comfortable doing. That was not a given before. However, due to the processes we were allowed to be a part of over the course of this semester, our work to create our final project was done in a safe and protected environment. Open-mindedness allowed us to bounce ideas off of one another, developing the project to what it became, and professionalism let us stay on track while having fun. This lead to a better final product, in my opinion.

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This was taken at our last rehearsal for our final project with all four members, right after we finished the movement choreography. It was a moment of pride for all of us; finishing one of our finals for freshman year.

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I have always believed that collaboration is essential for theatre. It inspires ideas that may not have been possible through individual work, and makes the end result an amalgamation of people. Any piece of theatre requires collaboration at its core. While it isn’t impossible to create theatre without these, their existence certainly makes it more enjoyable. They allow you to immerse yourself into the world this cast and crew is building, inviting you to stay and enjoy yourself. The suspension of disbelief relies on them.

Collaboration has been the root of all of our work in this class; from devising, dance, design, and directing/playwriting, we have been encouraged to work with our classmates to create performance pieces. Even our final project is based on collaboration, not just with our classmates, but the collaboration of all the different areas we’ve learned about this past semester. It was truly exciting to be able to immerse ourselves in this work and get to know each other throughout this process. I admit I was scared of jumping straight into creation, but the end result has been nothing if not satisfying. My favorite embodiment of collaboration from PCP was our final assignment in dance, where we got to create a minute-long movement piece in a group. It motivated us to think and build off of each other’s ideas.

Collaboration was a very big part of my semester. I stage managed Roberto Soto’s Uncommon Objects, a show put on by a student organization. While we ran into a number of issues, we problem-solved and divided the work between us, and our end-result was something I am incredibly proud of. We put hours of work into the play, and it showed. The final product, when it was being performed with lights, sound, and costumes is something I will forever hold close to my heart, especially as it provided such an exciting learning experience for me.

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This is a picture I took from the booth of Uncommon Objects. Roberto and I were gushing about this moment during closing night, and I know that neither of us will forget the work that was done to get us to that point.