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Ian Catherine

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To : All infantry, cavalry, Chinese legions and dragons

Topic Final assault against Napoleon

Napoleon has agreed to a cease-fire, Metternich has persuaded Bonaparte to listen to mediation . He has given us a week, and we have the upper hand for now . The little village of Reichenbach has been completely blasted to ruins in the process of our battle, and we are victorious( da winners) . The French have retreated . but the next battle will still be grim .. The Russian heavy-weights have done well disintegrating the enemy ranks to capture the guns (by smashing themselves into them and smashing them into pulp) . Nevertheless they will get the bounty that was promised(lots of money) . We shall add a bonus for guns taken unspiked in the next battle . For now the original plan was to send the Chinese legions to concentrate their attention upon the French right flank . If we can break that group of middle-weights there, we will open them nicely to the Austrian advance . But we have a change in tatices . We are considering about sending the legions against the center, and yes I know that the Imperial Guard is anchoring the center, with a hundred Incan beasts, besides their Grand Chevaliers, and you can see the guns that will blast you to pieces…..blah blah blah . We should be rolled up straightaway if we pressed the attack( get massacred ), and then our general advance would be broken . But NIng (my offspring) has proposed that we do this since she has considered that there are sixty heavy-weights(huge guys) approaching the French rear. If we should draw the French center forward even by quite a small margin, we shall weaken their line, and thus expose their entire retreat.(so we can tear them into shreds maybe?)

I was unsure about this until she said that it is possible that the Tswana, from their having taken up a position ideally calculated to fall upon Napoleon’s rear, and having failed to offer him any assistance in his present difficult circumstances(eating cows and watching them fight) may prefer to have us in their debt . We must not miss the chance or he will come with 4000 big guys (dragons) that have hatched and mow over us like a lawnmower(is there anything called like that in the time of the Napoleonic wars????)

To sum this up, all we have to do is to ask the dragons to charge into the middle and clash into the French, wait for the Tswana to smash into them with us, and try to kidnap Napoleon in the process . No pressure!(except for everything)

With best wishes

Temeraire/Lung Tian Xiang(celestial dragon) and William Laurence(admiral)

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Goldilocks and the three bears

Once upon a time, there were three bears who lived in a house in a forest. They have three bowls of porridge, three seats, and three beds. One morning, after making porridge for breakfast, they went out for a walk. Then, a girl named Goldilocks went into their house because of curiosity. She first tries the porridge on the table. Father Bear's is too hot, Mother Bear's is too cold, but Baby Bear's is just perfect, so eats all of Baby Bear's porridge. After that, she tries the three seats in the living room. Father Bear's is too hard, Mother Bear's is too soft, and Baby Bear's is just perfect, but she broke Baby Bear's seat when sitting on it. At last Goldilocks tried the three beds in the bedroom. Father Bear's is too hard, Mother Bear's is too soft, and Baby Bear's is just perfect, so she fell asleep in it. Then, the three bears came back home from their walk and found out the eaten porridge, the broken seat, and Goldilocks sleeping in Baby Bear’s bed. Finally, Goldilocks woke up and saw the three bears. She was frightened and ran away quickly.

Goldilocks’ friend: Hey, Goldilocks, where are you?

Goldilocks: I’m in the three bear’s  house. There are three bowls of porridge on the table.

Goldilocks’ friend: Then, try them out.

Goldilocks: Father Bear's is too hot, Mother Bear's is too cold, but Baby Bear's is just perfect, so I’m gonna eat that one. There are three seats in the living room.

Goldilocks’ friend: Do you want to try sitting on them?

Goldilocks: Sure. Father Bear's is too hard, Mother Bear's is too soft, and Baby Bear's is just perfect, so I’m gonna sit on that one. Ah!

Goldilocks’ friend: What’s wrong?

Goldilocks: I broke the seat! Oh, never mind. I’m just gonna go check out the bedroom. There are three beds there. Father Bear's is too hard, Mother Bear's is too soft, and Baby Bear's is just perfect. I’m so sleepy. I’m gonna take a nap here.

Goldilocks’ friend: Okay, have a good rest.

Goldilocks: OMG, the three bears just came back home!

Goldilocks’ friend: What, Really!?

Goldilocks: Yeah, they looked really mad. I was kinda frightened, so I ran out of the house as quickly as I could.

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After Alice heard that there was a tea party, she texted Hatter immediately, and asked him about the next party. Later till she found out that Hatter never stopped the tea party. She thought the party was stupid, so she refused the invitation and decided to go to the palace. The cat told Alice that the only way to go home is to find the queen.

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Dear Padfoot:

How are you lately?

Have you found a place to live after you escape from jail? I hope Buckbeak and you are having a good time. I’m sorry that I can’t live with you at 12 Grimmauld Place, but I hope that we can meet someday.

I finished the third semester in Hogwarts, so I have to come back to Privet Drive to live with uncle Vernon for the whole vacation. I look forward to going to Ron’s house as soon as possible.

Ron told me that he will take me to the Quidditch World Cup when I get there, he said that it’s the best thing in the world, and that there will be lots of famous players. He wonders which team will win the championship.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I got to the World Cup, it was all ok in the beginning. However, everything went wrong after someone set off a Dark Mark, after that, a group of people wearing cloaks came out and started to make people float in the sky, some muggles were in the air for up to 2 days, and the Ministry of Magic spent lots of time erasing their memories. What’s worse, I was being knocked out by someone, and I lied in the place where the Dark Mark was released. I was found by the Minister for Magic and Ron’s dad, and the Minister for Magic suspected me that I set the Dark Mark!

All these things that have happened lately are really strange. Are these the signs that You Know Who is coming back? My Scar also hurts a lot these days. So I’m pretty worried.

Sincerely

Harry

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Hey folks,

Guess who's back with another thrilling update from the demigod life? That's right, it's your favorite trouble magnet, Percy Jackson, reporting live from Camp Half-Blood.

So, here's the scoop: I've been running around like a headless chicken trying to keep up with all the monster madness. Seriously, it's like they're lining up to take a swing at me. Note to self: invest in monster repellent, ASAP.

And let's talk about this whole prophecy thing. You'd think destiny would have the decency to send a heads-up email or something, but nope, I've gotta figure it out on the fly like a demigod MacGyver. But hey, who needs a plan when you've got a sword and a really bad sense of direction, am I right?

Oh, and speaking of bad ideas, have I mentioned the newbies at camp? It's like a reality show where the prize is not getting eaten by a minotaur. But hey, gotta love the enthusiasm, even if it means spending half my time untangling them from giant spider webs.

Anyway, gotta jet before Zeus decides to throw another lightning bolt my way. Stay tuned for more demigod hijinks, same Percy time, same Percy channel.

Catch you on the mythological flip side,

Percy

p! It's Percy... again