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There’s some debate about whether it’s worthwhile to add subtitles to video clips that are shown in class. While that’s a good topic for another day, there likely will be times when, for whatever reason, you’ll want students to have subtitles to read as they watch a video. But what if you’re unable to find subtitles? Well, it’s actually possible to add your own. This article will show you one way to do this, and it doesn’t require any money, subscriptions, or tears on your behalf. Well, maybe a few tears, but at least it won’t cost you money.

First, the bad news. Adding subtitles isn’t as easy as it used to be … or, at least last time I checked. Years ago Windows had a free app known as Windows Movie Maker that allowed users to effortlessly add subtitles to their videos; however, this program was discontinued and every other method of adding subtitles now requires a bit more work: enough work such that fully subtitling a feature-length movie is probably out of the question. The good news is that, while a bit time consuming, it’s not terribly hard, and once you get the hang of it, you can subtitle a short video in under an hour.

Before We Start:

Before we learn how to add subtitles, it might worth talking about why you might need to use them in the first place. I’ve found adding subtitles can be useful when:

A. The English is too fast for students to understand, or uses unfamiliar pronunciation,

B. You want students to focus on the video’s overall meaning, rather than interpreting the English,

C. The English is too difficult, in which case a “simple English” (or even Korean!) translation can be
provided through the subtitles.

Now that’s out of the way, let’s learn how to do it.

Step 1: Download Shotcut

Yes, I know: I hate installing random programs, too. But Shotcut is, in my experience, one of the better free movie-editing apps out there. I’ve experimented with quite a few and, while Shotcut isn’t always intuitive and takes a bit of practice to figure out, it tends to have the best usability-to-hassle ratio among other free programs out there.

Here’s the link where you can download the program: https://www.shotcut.org/download/

Step 2: Select Your Video File

Easy enough: Simply open Shotcut, then drag and drop the file to which you want to add subtitles:

Your video will now appear in Shotcut.

Step 3: Add your Video to the Timeline

You’ll notice a big blank spot at the bottom of the Shotcut interface. Drag and drop the video window down to that area …

… and this will happen:

Step 4: Split the Video

Now’s the hard part. You’ll need to split the video at any point you want to add subtitles. To do this, first click anywhere above or below the blue timeline. DON’T click on the timeline itself. Once you do this, a white vertical line will appear where you clicked.

The white line is the cursor. You can drag it wherever you want on the video. NOTE: pressing the spacebar will cause the video to begin playing at the cursor, and pressing the spacebar again will cause everything to pause.

If you press S or the ][ symbol on Shotcut’s interface, this will happen:

You’ve now split the video at this location. As with a word document, you can press Ctrl+Z to undo it if you’ve made a mistake.

Find a place where you want to add a subtitle, and split the video at the beginning and end of the part where you want the subtitle to show, like this:

If you look at the picture above, you’ll notice two black bars sectioning off a portion of the video. This will be the frame where your subtitles will go.

Step 5: Add the Subtitles

Now, click on the frame where you want to put the subtitle. You can click directly on the blue timeline this time. The frame will be highlighted in red.

Now, go to the menu at the top of Shotcut, and select “Filters.”

Next, hit the + button below the window in the upper left.

A menu will pop up. Type “text” in the search bar. Then you can choose from either “simple” or “rich.” So as to not get too confusing, we’ll go with simple text for now, but if you have time, you can experiment with rich text later.

Now type your subtitle!

NOTE: If your subtitle isn’t appearing in the video window, it’s probably because your cursor is at a different point on the timeline. Move the cursor to the current frame, and your subtitle should show up.

You can adjust the position of the subtitle by dragging the little gray ball in the center of the video window.

In the event you totally mess up, the subtitles can be removed by clicking the – button next to the + button you clicked earlier.

Here’s the good news: You’ve now added your subtitle. The bad news? Now you have to do that EVERY TIME you want to add more subtitles. Unfortunately, without advanced knowledge of subtitle-creation software, this is probably your best option.

Step 6: Save the File

If you just save from the menu, it will save everything as a Shotcut project, but not as an actual video. In order to change everything to a video, you must convert it. Fortunately, this is pretty easy.

Simply click on “File” on the far upper-left, then select “Export Video” from the drop-down menu. Finally click “Export File,” shown here:

It will take a little while to convert the file. You can see the progress in the window on the right. When there’s a green checkmark, your video has been exported and saved.

Good job!

You’ve succeeded in adding subtitles to your video!

Sources:

The Art Institute of Colorado. (2011). How Coyote and Eagle Stole the Sun and Moon. YouTube. USA. Retrieved October 1, 2021, from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cGXRSfdObag&ab_channel=EricaPrettyEagle.

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Teacher Tech: Making Your Own Video Subtitles

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Need subtitles for a (short) class video? Read this article for instructions on how to make your own!

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in: Manly Know-How, Skills

Editor's note: This is a guest article from Eric Flynn.

Self-defense is an art that every man should know, not only for protecting himself, but also his friends and family. When it comes to learning this art, there are a wide variety of combat disciplines and systems one can study, and nothing can take the place of training with an experienced coach.

The reality is, however, that sometimes you just might not have the money or time to take up lessons, or you've started them, but you're still pretty green. Given that conflict seldom cares about your budget, schedule, or experience, what should you do if you find yourself in a self-defense situation, without advanced skills for handling it?

Fortunately, there are a few basic, quick-and-dirty tips, which I'll outline below, that can help give you a bit of an edge.

Please note that these tips should be used as a last resort. While knowing the advice in this guide can help lessen your chances of getting seriously injured in a fight, it's no match against a properly trained fighter or, even worse, an armed opponent. So please don't get an undue sense of confidence from this guide.

With that being said, let's begin our crash course in self-defense.

1. Use your brain and walking shoes first.

Most of the time, you can avoid fights altogether if you just keep a cool head. Keep in mind that any fight can potentially put someone in the hospital or worse; to that end, walking away or using words to deescalate the conflict is often the best defense. So when you make the choice to engage in combat, ask yourself if it's worth it. Even if you manage to come out on top, you could be looking at heavy legal fines, or the guilt of knowing you caused another person long-term injury, so it's best to walk away whenever possible. Even better yet is to avoid environments that can put you in antagonistic situations in the first place, such as parties or bars where there might be excessive consumption of alcohol. To repeat the old adage, "Discretion is the better part of valor."

2. Be aware of your options and your weapons.

Tip #1 should help you avoid around 90% of all fights. But what about the remaining 10%? If negotiations or walking away fail, then it's time to stand your ground.

One of the best tips is to always remember your attack options. Imagine, for a moment, that someone grabs you by the throat with both hands and starts choking you. This would doubtless be a distressing situation and it's likely your brain would freeze up. But consider this: both of the attacker's hands are occupied. Both of your hands are free, not to mention your feet, elbows, knees, and even forehead. His body is wide open and he's basically a human punching bag at this point. Right now, you could elbow him in the face, knee him in the ribs or groin, stomp on his feet, etc. There are any number of things you can do when attacked, but it's very easy to get "brain lock" in such situations. By being aware of your attack options, however, you can much more easily find ways to counterattack such aggressors.

One thing about grappling arts like judo and jiu-jitsu is that, while excellent disciplines, they often ignore the concepts of striking. If you ever happen to practice jiu-jitsu, or even watch videos of people doing it, try to think of ways you could strike the face or body if exposed to a certain hold. Of course, certain positions can make your strikes weak and ineffective, tire you out, or cause you to go unconscious before your strikes can do much damage, but it's still a valuable exercise.

When it comes to striking, it's also important to keep in mind the concept of proportionality. Joint locks and pins are a means of subduing an opponent without the use of inflicting striking trauma. While a vicious punch to the chops can be an effective counter to a pin, it also carries with it much more potential for damage, and can cause the fight to escalate into further violence or perhaps make you seem like the aggressor in the fight.

Just as striking options should be considered while under attack, so too should movement options. Think about an arm bar, for example (either standing or on the ground). While a skilled fighter will leave little chance of escape, such techniques by less-skilled combatants can be weaseled out of if one moves his body towards the technician rather than trying to pull his wrist and forearm away from the attacker.

Finally, realize that when someone comes at you with both fists swinging, it can cause a lot more shock and surprise than you might realize. If you think that a fight will look like it does in a kung-fu movie or a taekwondo match, where both sides are artfully blocking each other's attacks and keeping at a comfortable distance, you're in for a surprise. Most likely, the other guy will come at you like a freight train. This will quash a lot of those blocks and dodges you might be thinking about using. What's more, it's really alarming! Your brain is likely to freeze up. Try to keep calm and don't let it. Now, on the other hand, you can turn this to your advantage by knowing that . . .

3. The best defense is a good offense.

Time for another reality check. In a fight, you're almost certainly going to get hit. Now, blocking and evading can be valuable skills to have, but they take time and practice to master. Therefore, your best strategy is to hit your opponent faster, harder, and more often than he hits you. And, if he's someone who's only practiced karate or more tactical arts, he might be taken off guard by this approach.

On that same note, unless your opponent is substantially bigger than you, try to maintain forward momentum. Again, if you're trained in fighting, retreating and moving backwards can be helpful, but it will often put you in a defensive situation, where your opponent is free to move forward and possibly bowl you over with his assault. To combat this, maintain your own forward momentum, trying to go towards your opponent. Now don't be foolish and rush right in blindly: you'll probably run into his punch or kick. But generally think forwards instead of backwards.

4. Don't forget lateral movement.

One reason you want to maintain forward momentum is that if you don't, you might end up getting pushed against a wall. In fact, if your opponent is clever, he'll actually try to manipulate you into such positions. If, despite your effort to maintain a strong offense and forward momentum, you end up in this position, keep your mind open about your movement choices. Instead of moving backwards into a wall or corner, try to move left or right, circling your opponent. This disrupts his plans and forces him to reposition.

5. Don't forget to breathe!

With all this aggression, forward movement, and focusing on your strong offense, it's easy to tense up and use all your energy. This can be bad news. Though it might be easier said than done, try your best not to hold your breath and only use the muscles you need when you need them.

6. Tailor the technique of your punches and kicks.

Kicking and punching is a lot more difficult than the movies make it look.

When it comes to punching, it's important to know that your hand is full of tiny, articulating bones, and when they collide with one, big, solid bone (like someone's skull), there's a pretty good chance some of those little bones will break. If you need to strike, only use punches for soft areas, such as the body or nose (a quick, light jab will do the trick in the latter instance). If you attack the head, think about alternative ways to strike rather than with the knuckles. Open-handed heel-palm strikes allow for much more abuse to your hand and can be adapted to replace a fist in most positions. A hammerfist strike - with the side of the fist - can also be a good alternative.

With kicks: Unless you're an experienced martial artist, don't kick above the belt. The balance required, combined with the risk for failure, is too high. Limit your kicks to the legs or the groin.

7. Keep it simple.

"Okay, first, your opponent grabs your lapel. Turn your hand. Now grab his wrist with both your hands. Next turn away from him, pivoting on the balls of your feet. After that you're going to step under his elbow, pull his arm, then shift your body weight so that he's moving towards you. Now catch his head with your calf muscle and . . ."

Have you ever seen someone teach this sort of complex technique? Such maneuvers tend to not work so well, and that's largely because they're too complicated. A joint lock or hold that's too complicated causes problems for two reasons.

First, if any "link" in the chain of moves is weak, then the entire technique can fail. When you factor in the different body sizes and levels of strength that you're likely to encounter, it adds yet another variable.

Second, it requires too much memory and concentration, and when you're in a fight, those are two things that won't come easy to you.

In short, complicated techniques usually aren't worth your time, at least in the context of a street fight. The more simple and boring a technique is, the more reliable it tends to be.

Let's rewrite that complicated technique above to make it more simple: "Punch the guy in the face until he lets go, then run." Much easier to remember, right? Of course, it doesn't have the advantage of being able to put the guy in a position where you can dislocate his arm and stop him completely, but this is a crash course, after all.

8. Learn the basic wrist release.

This is one technique that is actually simple enough to be effective fairly reliably; it's even effective against jiu-jitsu black belts because it runs on the basic principle of human anatomy that the thumb is extremely weak.

Here's how it works: Imagine someone grabs your right wrist with his left hand. Simply pivot your hand in a clockwise motion (counterclockwise if he grabs your left wrist with his right hand) and continue the motion in a full circle. This will cause you to move your hand in such a way that the majority of his grip will be concentrated on his thumb, which is too weak to hold your hand. If it doesn't work, just continue rotating full circle, and continuing to rotate. At some point that hand will come free.

Now, this does take a little bit of practice, and you do have to be able to adapt a bit. This might involve: grabbing the attacker's own wrist with your free hand, giving your hand a quick jerk to pop it out of his grip, or grabbing the blade of his hand with your free hand and "peeling it off." Once mastered, however, this move will allow you to free your hand from anyone's grip.

9. Effectively defend against throws and takedowns.

Be prepared for people to try to takeyou down. Not only are there judo practitioners out there, but, more commonly, wrestlers, both of whom will try to put you on the ground. Fortunately there are a few simple defenses for this.

The first one is the sprawl. It takes a little practice to get the reflexes down, but with a bit of speed, this is a pretty easy defense. When you see a guy drop towards the ground, he'll probably try to grab your legs and take you down. When he does this, simply throw your rear back, and let your feet and legs follow, shifting (even jumping a bit, if you prefer) backwards. Meanwhile, you can try to put your hands on his shoulders (which will probably be about the level of your hips at this point) to keep his distance from you, and if his shoulders aren't there, that's okay, you've still succeeded in getting out of range of his leg grab.

In the event he tries a judo-style hip throw - he'll actually grab your sleeves or arms, then turn his back to you in an attempt to bring you up on his hips, then dump you on the ground - simply put your hands on his hips and stiffen your arms. It'll prevent him from getting close to where he can load you on to his back.

Finally, if he has long sleeves, use a "cat's paw" grip by pinching his sleeve cuffs between your thumb and fingers, then sliding your thumbs back while digging your fingers down into the pocket of fabric it creates. You won't even need to use your thumbs, as your fingertips will be doing all the work. In this position, push his wrists from the top, down towards the ground, digging your knuckles into the tops of his wrists as you hold the shirt fabric with your fingers. Your back and posture should be straight and upright, with your arms almost locked, "stiff-arming" his arms downward. It shuts down the vast majority of all judo throws, which is why it's illegal in judo. Just be aware that he can still kick or knee you.

10. Know what to do if someone grabs your leg.

Yes, it happens. Most likely this will occur if you go against someone with wrestling experience and he shoots in for a leg grab (and you fail at sprawling). It can also happen if you kick above the belt, which is too risky a move for most beginners to do, anyway.

If this does happen, don't panic. Your first instinct might be to just hop around helplessly, but again, keep an open mind, think outside the box, and use all your options. Just because he has your leg doesn't mean you're stuck. Go towards your opponent by bending the captured leg at the knee and hopping forward. (Alternatively, if you're of sufficient strength and size, you can pull him towards you instead.) At this point, you can grab him with your hands, perhaps hooking his neck with one hand and punching with the other, head-butting him, or whatever, until he lets go. Just be aware that he might try to sweep out your remaining leg and take you to the ground. And if that happens, you need to . . .

11. Get off the ground.

While some fighters feel comfortable in a wrestling, ground-fighting position, it's a whole different ball game, and if you lack experience, it can make you extremely vulnerable.

Once on the ground, you enter a world of complex holds, chokes, and more. You can't possibly learn all of these without intense study, so instead, remember the tips above; most of them apply on the ground as well. Additionally, try to avoid exposing your back to your opponent, as this opens you to a large number of attacks. In the event you find yourself getting choked, tuck your chin to your neck as hard as you can.

Your ultimate goal is to stand up as soon as possible. One way of doing this is a technique known as a tactical stand-up. This involves, while on your back, planting one hand on the ground along with the foot of the opposite leg, while thrusting your remaining leg and hand out in front of you in order to ward off an approaching attacker, using your extended leg to kick if needed. When you have an opportunity, shift both legs underneath you so you can rise into a standing position. Check out this video, as it can be a valuable skill to know. Alternatively, while lying on your back, you can kick both legs up and over one shoulder, doing a reverse somersault, and coming to your knees, then rising back up.

If all this sounds complicated, it is! That's why you should try your best to stay off the ground.

Conclusion

There's no substitution for actual self-defense training. However, by keeping a cool head, using some lateral thinking, and memorizing some simple techniques, you can help tip the odds slightly more in you favor if you suddenly find yourself in a combat situation. Good luck, and stay safe!

______________________
Eric Flynn has been studying various martial arts for thirty years. He has a third-degree black belt in kajukempo and has also studied Brazilian jiu-jitsu, hapkido, iado, Muay Thai, and more. He currently teaches high school English, and writes sword-and-sorcery short stories in his free time, which can be purchased through Amazon.

Tags: Self-Defense & Fighting

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A Crash Course in Real World Self-Defense

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Editor's note: This is a guest article from Eric Flynn. Self-defense is an art that every man should know, not only for protecting himself, but also his friends and family. When it comes to learning this art, there are a wide variety of combat disciplines and systems one can study, and nothing can take the [...]

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We've all heard the story of Jonah being swallowed by the whale, and then, along with his father Geppetto, creating a fire so that the whale sneezes them out ... Or something like that. Whatever the case, being swallowed whole is a fate that has permeated our mythology and stories throughout time. But what is the actual typical progression to death when an animal gets swallowed whole? And are there any animals outside of more commonly known things like tapeworms that occasionally survive the ordeal and go along their merry way, whether by fighting their way out or simply being pushed out the other end?

As you might expect, death for creatures swallowed whole depends on what creatures eat them. Some of the most famous animals known for swallowing prey whole-snakes-actually kill their prey before consuming it, either through venom or constriction. However, in some instances certain animals take their prey directly into their mouths while the creature is still alive and kicking. Such creatures include frogs, certain fish and birds, varieties of snake and even people (we're looking at you, goldfish-swallowing-craze college students).

One especially creepy example of a creature that eats its prey whole is the Kinabalu giant red leech. This large annelid/tiny lovecraftian horror preys on a species of giant earthworm native to the jungles of Borneo and sucks the whole thing into its mouth like a giant piece of spaghetti ... being eaten by another giant piece of spaghetti.

While there is some contention among experts, it appears these worms are swallowed alive as there have been instances of the leeches having to spit out worms whose size they underestimated, after which point the worm goes on its wiggly way. So what happens to them once inside? It is generally thought the worms die relatively quickly, since the stifling confines of the leech's body aren't exactly ideal for the worm's respiration, causing it to suffocate long before being converted into leech dooky.

In some examples, such as with certain birds, the predator may attempt to stun or incapacitate its prey with its mouthparts before swallowing, though this may simply result in debilitating injuries rather than death., A conscious trip to the stomach is also a legitimate possibility in the case of things like frogs and fish, which commonly push their food to the backs of their mouths with little or no injury before swallowing.

So, supposing an animal's prey survives its foray in the mouth of its predator: what happens to it next? While some might claim the strong contractions of the predator's esophagus is enough to crush the animal, anyone who's thrown up and seen a fully intact french fry from lunch can attest that esophagial contractions are seldom strong enough to crush food- only strong enough to encourage its trip down to the stomach.

Once in the stomach, while the most obvious cause of death for animals swallowed alive would be the powerful stomach acid of a predator, it's generally unlikely that this is going to cause the death, at least not in the flesh melting way occasionally mentioned in Hollywood. Rather, thanks to sphincters-everyone's favorite variety of muscle-the interior of a stomach is largely bereft of breathable air. Thus, such an environment would likely cause an air-breathing animal to pass out and die
relatively quickly. By contrast, it would take much longer for stomach acid to eat through the skin or outer surface to the point where it would do any life threatening damage. Even in the case of fish being swallowed alive, the high-acid/low-oxygen content of the stomach acid and chime present in the predator's digestive tract would likewise cause it to perish from suffocation fairly quickly.

Of course, the next question that's bound to arise when considering this morbid issue is: Outside of obvious creatures like certain parasites, can other creatures feasibly survive being swallowed alive?

It turns out- yes. For example, some snails, which have been known to make the long and undignified journey through an animal's entire digestive tract and come out, Shawshank Redpmetion-style, on the other end.

For example, the Tornatellides boeningi snail of Japan's Hahajima Island are known to have a small chance of surviving an entire trip through a bird's digestive system after being eaten. We like to imagine this process leaves the snail's shell with a shiny new buff job, though it probably never smells quite the same.

As to how often they survive, Shinichiro Wada and his colleagues at Tohoku University found that, when these snails were fed to bird species native to Hahajima Island, about 15% of them survived the trip, with one of them even giving birth after the journey.

As for the exact mechanism that allows the snails to survive the trek down the bird's bowels, this isn't clear. However, the researchers theorize the snail's shell, coupled with an ability to seal itself in with a powerful coating of mucus (called an epiphragm), prevents stomach acid from touching the snail. Additionally, the gastropod's small size ensures that it encounters minimal complications, such as being crushed, as it makes its stinky journey. It's even hypothesized that this mechanism might even be an element of the snail's evolution, allowing it to propagate its species about the island via handy transportation inside birds. Scientists have seen similar phenomena in pond snails eaten by fishes and birds.

So what about other creatures? Well, in 2012, biologists in East Timor observed a strange, wormlike species of snake, known as a blind snake, emerging from the rear end of a toad. As to how the snake survives such an event, the researchers hypothesize this is due to the creatures overlapping scales, which made it resistant to damage; its wormlike shape, which allowed it to crawl through the toad's bowels; the fact that the toad hadn't eaten recently, leaving a nice, poop- free intestine for the snake to climb through; and, finally, the blind snake's ability to thrive underground with only minimal oxygen.

All that said, unfortunately the intrepid blind snake died several hours after its triumphant emergence, though it wasn't really clear why.

Moving on from there, what about animals that perhaps attempt at least to fight their way out?

While most creatures have the sense to not to swallow anything alive that has sharp spines, claws, or toxins, it just so happens that there is a kind of creature in which such a scenario has played out multiple times in the past. Enter the snake eel.

The snake eel has a barbed tail which it uses to burrow in the sand. However, when eaten by fish, it has been observed to use this tail to attempt to bore through the stomach of the animal that ate it. However, as far as researchers can tell, these attempts always end up being in vain as the eel inevitably finds itself trapped in the space between the stomach and abdominal wall, where it often suffocates, though does at least get a little revenge on its killer.

Generally, however, such SNAFUs are avoided by the evolutionary instincts of the predator in question. When it comes to the highest-evolved of animals, however, that animal's greatest asset- personality and free thought-sometimes override this safeguard. Enter humans.

For example, in 2016 a drunk man from the Netherlands was coaxed into swallowing a live catfish. Now, for those not acquainted with catfish anatomy, these creatures have sharp spines on their pectoral fins (and in some species these spines can be quite venomous) used in self-defense scenarios ... such as being swallowed by an inebriated Dutchman.

The fish ended up lodging itself in the man's throat, and the poor reveler/zoophage was rushed to intensive care, vomiting blood, where the siluriform was subsequently and safely removed. The man lived to experience further parties, and perhaps swallow other creatures. The fish, however, while successfully achieving its goal of extraction, wasn't so lucky: Despite its valiant efforts to carve its way from the innards of the beast that consumed it, it perished in the fight, likely due to lack of oxygen, or being drowned in cheap Dutch beer.

But have there ever been any happy endings- where an animal has safely fought their way out?

Yes.

One such feat of derring-do has been observed from the bombardier beetle. These critters have the ability to release a burst of highly irritating chemicals that shoot from their insectoid moneymakers with extremely high pressure. You might recall how, earlier, we mentioned that some frogs tend to swallow prey without incapacitating it first-well, Shinji Sugiura and Takuya Sato, researchers at Kobe University, observed instances of frogs consuming the beetles, after which point the beetles' defensive mechanisms, once applied from the confines of the frog's stomach, would cause the amphibians to regurgitate the beetle. The beetle, in spite of its trip to the Gastric Hilton, generally remained unharmed after the ordeal.

Even more impressive is the rough-skinned newt, an amphibian that produces a powerful toxin that has the potential to kill any predators foolish enough to ignore the newt's cautionary orange coloring. The newt's poison is so powerful, in fact, that frogs have been observed swallowing the critter, then succumbing to the toxin so quickly that the newt has time to exit through the frog's mouth before the predator's digestive juices and lack of oxygen takes effect.

Moving on from there, the epomis beetle larva has been known to take things a step further. In fact, this beetle-and its nighmarish offspring-are known as frog hunters.

So how does a tiny invertebrate hunt down and slowly eat alive a creature many times its size? In short, the larvae have a tactic of dodging the frog's tongue before being swalloed, then latching onto the creature, where they proceed to devour it. In at least one instance, however, the frog actually succeeded in consuming the larva, whereupon it was regurgitated. At this point, the food turned on its diner, grabbed it with its mandibles and proceeded to feed. Thus, not only surviving the event, but ultimately consuming the creature that swallowed it.

But let's go back to the beginning and talk about Jonah and Pinocchio. Are there any animals that can swallow people whole and alive? Although there have been some very rare instances of snakes swallowing people, such reptiles have a means of incapacitating you first, mainly through

constriction, so you'd be dead before being swallowed, especially considering that the swallowing process in such cases would likely take hours or longer.
Crocodiles and sharks again rarely consume people, and in such cases, the prey would be dead first by being ripped apart or significant damage done by the predator's powerful teeth and jaws. This leaves whales as the only candidate for swallowing people alive. However, the largest animals on the planet, the blue whale, along with the largest fish, the whale shark, are not equipped to swallow humans, having tiny esophagi which would cause them to choke on us. That leaves the sperm whale, the largest carnivorous cetacean.

And some experts claim that it may theoretically be possible for a sperm whale to swallow a person whole, though there are two problems with this. One is that the sperm whale's dagger-like teeth would likely kill the prey first, in which case you'd be long dead before suffocating in the whale's several stomachs. But this point is rendered mostly null, as sperm whales only feed deep beneath the surface of the water and would never view humans as prey. So any accidental swallowing would have to derive from a rather bizarre sequence of events.

That said, there is a commonly told story of one James Bartley being swallowed by a sperm whale in the late 1800s, after which he was cut out of the whale by fellow mariners apparently many hours later. Though his skin had supposedly been bleached white and his eyes rendered blind, he allegedly survived.

However, in more recent times, most find this story a bit farfetched, given the particulars, including the extreme amount of time Bartley supposedly spent in the whale's insides, among other issues with the tale. On top of that, there really isn't much of any hard evidence to indicate this actually occurred, despite the story making the rounds back in the day. Perhaps a bit akin to the legend of the dolphin Pelorus Jack that was a world-wide sensation in his day and even still widely credited today for something he never once actually did, as we tracked down for our video on the subject.

On the plus side, humans can apparently take heart in the fact that, among the multitudes of unpleasant ways we can die, we'll never have to worry about being swallowed alive, unless Cthulhu emerges from his sunken palace beneath the tides to once more begin his terrible reign over mankind.

If you liked this article, you might also enjoy our new popular podcast, The BrainFood Show ( iTunes, Spotify, Google Play Music, Feed), as well as:

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So How Do Animals Swallowed Alive Actually Die and Do Any Animals Ever Get Out Alive After?

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We've all heard the story of Jonah being swallowed by the whale, and then, along with his father Geppetto, creating a fire so that the whale sneezes them out ... Or something like that. Whatever the case, being swallowed whole is a fate that has permeated our mythology and stories throughout time.